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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 2: We have some good story is coming up for you.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 1: two minute at break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 2: H my boyfriend is hooking up with his coworkers. He

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Speaker 2: tried to tell me it didn't mean anything. It's to

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Speaker 2: boost off his morale. I read it. I am extremely

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Speaker 2: heartbroken and in need of advice and even comfort. I

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Speaker 2: don't want to use real names, so I will be

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Speaker 2: putting in different names. Thank you for understanding. Let me

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Speaker 2: share with you all on what happened. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Heartbroken zero zero zero z zero on

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Speaker 2: the ur slash Ooaky Storytime Superate It. I, twenty five female,

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Speaker 2: have been dating my boyfriend twenty three mail. We will

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Speaker 2: call him Jim for a year now. It was long

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Speaker 2: distance at first, but I moved to his home state

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Speaker 2: in August so that we could be together physically. Everything

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Speaker 2: was perfect. Jim and I were extremely happy with each other,

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Speaker 2: always communicated, and we were just a happy couple. He

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Speaker 2: works at a cafe and there he befriended one of

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Speaker 2: his coworkers. Twenty three male we'll call him Derek. Derek

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Speaker 2: has been inviting Jim to get a few drinks after work,

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Speaker 2: and the two of them became good buds. Two good

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Speaker 2: at buds. I think I'd never met him before, and

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Speaker 2: he was really nice. Jim thought he was a cool

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Speaker 2: guy too. Then in mid October, Derek would invite my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend over to his place. They'll just hang order pizza

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Speaker 2: and drink some beers. Apparently, Jim would text me that

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Speaker 2: he would hang out with Derek after work then come home.

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Speaker 2: I never required him to text me where he was,

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Speaker 2: but Jim was always sweet to text me messages throughout

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Speaker 2: the day. I did the same for him too. Throughout

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Speaker 2: the entire night, Jim would tell me how he met

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Speaker 2: Derek's girlfriend twenty four female we'll call her Karen, and

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Speaker 2: that they were very nice people. I texted him back

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Speaker 2: that it was awesome and sweet, how the two invited

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Speaker 2: him and shared a good time with him. I thought

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Speaker 2: that was just that. So Karen and I have never

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Speaker 2: seen each other. All I knew about her was that

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Speaker 2: she was Derek's girlfriend. She was nice, and she was

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Speaker 2: so freaking smoking hot. And also I learned that she

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Speaker 2: and Derek moved in together like early October. I thought

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Speaker 2: that was pretty cute. That's all I knew about her.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend started to hang out at their place more often,

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Speaker 2: and I would only think of it as something as coworkers'

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Speaker 2: friends just hanging out after work. I do admit that

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Speaker 2: I just felt left out and even asked Jim if

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Speaker 2: I could hang out with them. He would say it

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Speaker 2: would be a hassle, since then he would have to

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Speaker 2: come get me from work or at home, then go

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Speaker 2: to Derek's place, and also that they only hang out

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Speaker 2: for a short while. I would just say all right

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Speaker 2: and be done with it. I had a day off

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Speaker 2: work and texted my boyfriend that I'll come over to

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Speaker 2: his workplace to have lunch together. He told me that

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Speaker 2: would be awesome, so I went. It was pretty busy

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Speaker 2: in there, but not super busy where the workers wouldn't

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Speaker 2: be able to casually talk. I noticed my boyfriend working

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Speaker 2: and one other girl between orders. This other girl would

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Speaker 2: be touching Jim's arm and would smile at.

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Speaker 3: Him, Well, don't smile at my man.

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Speaker 2: She would act really flirty with him, and my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: seemed totally fine with it. It hurt because one he

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Speaker 2: was letting another girl flirt with him, and two he

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Speaker 2: always felt bothered if I would flirt with him in public.

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Speaker 2: Ooh that would biz me? Oh red flag? Mind you.

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Speaker 2: I'm not at all handsy, but I do playfully hug

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Speaker 2: his arm. Well, Jim didn't notice me in there, so

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Speaker 2: I just kept myself until several of the customers walked out.

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Speaker 2: Jim finally noticed me. We went out for lunch, but

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Speaker 2: on our way out, I asked him who's your coworker

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Speaker 2: and he told me it was Karen. I asked him

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Speaker 2: if he found her attractive, and he said, word for word, honestly,

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Speaker 2: not really. She's not ugly, but she's not pretty or anything. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 2: I mean that was a kind of a trap there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I would have asked that, like,

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Speaker 2: did you find her pretty? I told him how I

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Speaker 2: felt about him and Karen acting that way in the cafe,

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Speaker 2: and he told me it was meaningless since that's how

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Speaker 2: Karen is. I tried extremely hard to just stop my jealousy,

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Speaker 2: but it really hurt me. I cried in the kitchen

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Speaker 2: after Jim had gone to sleep that night. Now you

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Speaker 2: need to talk to him, have a conversation with him

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Speaker 2: don't cry in the kitchen. A few days after that event,

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Speaker 2: Jim would be going to Derek's place after work and

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Speaker 2: would come home really late. Earlier today, he told me

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Speaker 2: he would be hanging out with Derek again, and with

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Speaker 2: my own insecurities boiling inside me, I asked Jim to

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Speaker 2: stay home with me a few times of the week

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Speaker 2: because we rarely saw each other due to our work schedules.

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Speaker 2: We ended up arguing, and in my anger, I snapped

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Speaker 2: at him and said something like, fine, then you can

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Speaker 2: go to your little sum.

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Speaker 3: I mean that is what I was thinking.

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Speaker 2: His face went pale and just a sick feeling made

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Speaker 2: me believe that what I had said out of anger

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Speaker 2: was actually true. I hope he really hit the nail

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Speaker 2: on the head, I asked him, and he admitted it.

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Speaker 2: I ultimately found out that my boyfriend has been having

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Speaker 2: reason with Derek and his girlfriend after work almost every

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Speaker 2: day since.

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Speaker 3: October, almost every day. That's a lot of stamina.

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Speaker 2: I asked Jim if he was by, but Jim said

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Speaker 2: they were just sharing Karen and it meant nothing and

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Speaker 2: I was only spicy sleep. It hurt a lot, Jim

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Speaker 2: and I shared the same views that an open relationship

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Speaker 2: never could work for us, that spicy sleep with another

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Speaker 2: person while in this relationship would be viewed as cheating,

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Speaker 2: and so on. He was the one who set down

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Speaker 2: the ground rules, and I agreed to them. We both

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Speaker 2: were very monogamous, at least I thought. I am completely heartbroken.

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Speaker 2: Jim is in the other room, just sitting at his desk,

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Speaker 2: and I'm in the bedroom bawling my eyes out while

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Speaker 2: seeking some sort of help from Reddit. Honestly, I have

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Speaker 2: no friends here. The friends I have back at home

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Speaker 2: didn't want me to go, and we left on bitter terms.

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Speaker 2: I am ashamed to reach out to them for help.

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Speaker 2: I just can't shake off this feeling of utter disgust

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Speaker 2: and betrayal. I love my boyfriend so much, so very much.

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Speaker 2: A pathetic part of me wants to just work on

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Speaker 2: a relationship. No, no, no, no, he don't love you

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Speaker 2: like that. I love you, but that is just a

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Speaker 2: horrible choice. He cheated on you. He does not love you.

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Speaker 2: I know I should leave him and go back home

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Speaker 2: or whatever, but right now I'm justin's shock. Thank you

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Speaker 2: all for your kind and caring support. Though this all

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Speaker 2: happened today, I began making my next steps. I did

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Speaker 2: end my relationship with Jim. The conversation was difficult to have,

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Speaker 2: but it needed to be ad. There were questions I

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Speaker 2: needed to ask for my health, such as sdis and such.

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Speaker 2: Though he did say he used protection, I still scheduled

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Speaker 2: an appointment with my doctor for this coming weekend. Good

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Speaker 2: edit to add this part in, I overheard Jim's phone

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Speaker 2: call with Derek. He told Derek what happened and ended

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Speaker 2: his relationship with him. He also said he's quitting work tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: I do feel bad, but know that is purely his decision. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean, don't feel bad. He's cheated on you. Jim

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Speaker 2: will be moving back into his parents' place tomorrow. I

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Speaker 2: will be canceling my least tomorrow morning. I did contact

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Speaker 2: my best friend from back home and simply explain that

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Speaker 2: I will be returning home. He offered to fly up

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Speaker 2: here to help me, but I said no because I

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Speaker 2: know I will break down right now. I need to

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Speaker 2: keep strong. Seeing a friend here will only allow myself

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Speaker 2: to break down into a huge mess. I'm doing my

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Speaker 2: best to stay positive. I keep telling myself better now

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Speaker 2: than later. Good thing. It's only been just a year

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Speaker 2: and not five or more. Think of this as a

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Speaker 2: life lesson, do not hold grudges, and do my best

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Speaker 2: to move forward. It's hard, I admit, but continuing to

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Speaker 2: tell myself those things helps me. I would love to

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Speaker 2: believe that this experience has not swayed my views on relationship. Rather,

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Speaker 2: I would love to believe that this experience and relationship

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Speaker 2: has revealed a little more of myself. I still need

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Speaker 2: to do a lot of reflecting, but that can come

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Speaker 2: after I have done all the physical work moving back

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Speaker 2: to my home state. You guys can do some mental

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Speaker 2: work with us by joining us live every weekday at

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Speaker 2: three PMPST. Just staff our profile. But there's a little

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Speaker 2: bit more of this story. I think I'll handle that

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Speaker 2: really well.

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Speaker 3: So well, what a good head on your shoulders, so

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Speaker 3: to the point, and like productive with your feelings, Like

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that.

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Speaker 2: No, because like I know that I want to be

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Speaker 2: with them, but I also know that I shouldn't and

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Speaker 2: I won't be. You're really handling this well, and it's

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Speaker 2: gonna hurt, but you're gonna get through it.

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Speaker 3: I've never cheated and cheated on you know, that's good.

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Speaker 3: I hope I never experienced that, but like it. It's

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Speaker 3: one of those things. From the outside, it's like I

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Speaker 3: can't really understand taking someone back if they've cheated, but

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Speaker 3: I know that it happens, and it's like, it's hard

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Speaker 3: if you've been together for so many years and you've

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Speaker 3: built up this foundation of love and what you thought

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Speaker 3: was trust, Like, can you come back?

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Speaker 2: Well no, I mean I understand, like just even when

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Speaker 2: your brain is saying like that they're not a good

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Speaker 2: partner for you, and you're like, but I want it,

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Speaker 2: but in this case, don't take it back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't think I could come back from a

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Speaker 3: daily thim again.

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Speaker 2: Everything seems to be happening so fast, but it's progress.

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Speaker 2: Thank you all for your kind and loving support. I

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Speaker 2: hope my experience and progress can be of some hope

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Speaker 2: for others. I love my boyfriend extremely and though I

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Speaker 2: did not mention it in the post, I did make

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Speaker 2: a lot more sacrifices for him than he is ever

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Speaker 2: for me. Through all of that, I don't see it

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Speaker 2: as losing an investment in someone, but rather I am

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Speaker 2: moving on for a healthier opportunity and hopefully he will

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Speaker 2: be able to learn from this as well. I have

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Speaker 2: no plans on getting back together with him. His words

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Speaker 2: were sweet and tempting, but they were poisoned. Thank you again. Oooh,

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Speaker 2: and that is the end of that story. Yeah no,

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Speaker 2: definitely don't get back together with them. Yeah, don't. But

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Speaker 2: it seems like you're good. Seems like you got it

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Speaker 2: under control.

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Speaker 3: Chillin. I just got an email exposing my wife's affair.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how to.

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Speaker 2: Confront her, Ah send her an email.

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Speaker 3: Would I be the a hole for telling my wife

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Speaker 3: to show me her phone after I got an email

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Speaker 3: accusing her of cheating. I male, forty seven, have a

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Speaker 3: comfortable and fulfilling life. I have a job I truly enjoy.

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Speaker 3: I live in a nice suburb, and I am blessed

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Speaker 3: with three wonderful children, eight male, six female, and four female,

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Speaker 3: and a lovely wife, Emily forty five. I've always felt

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Speaker 3: Emily and I were an ideal match. However, a recent

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Speaker 3: email I received has deeply unsettled me and planted a

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Speaker 3: seed of doubt in my mind. By the way, this

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Speaker 3: comes from helpful Listen seventeen sixty five on the Okay

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Speaker 3: Storytime subreddit. So Emily lived in the UK between twenty

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Speaker 3: ten and twenty fifteen, during which time she pursued a PhD.

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Speaker 3: Because she lived there so long, she pursued other things

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Speaker 3: to Because she lived there so long, she developed many

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Speaker 3: close friendships and has made it a point to return

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Speaker 3: every couple of years to maintain those ties. This past August,

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Speaker 3: she traveled to the UK for three weeks to attend

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Speaker 3: the way of one of her close friends. After some consideration,

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Speaker 3: we agreed that it would be best for me and

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Speaker 3: the children to remain at home, as I could not

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Speaker 3: take that much time away from work and the children

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Speaker 3: were unlikely to find much enjoyment in such an event.

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Speaker 3: Emily departed, returned as expected, and life returned to normal

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Speaker 3: for us. Last week, I received an email on my

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Speaker 3: work email address. It was supposedly from the wife of

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Speaker 3: Emily's friend I'll call him Jake forty four mail. According

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Speaker 3: to this woman, she has a very strong reason to

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Speaker 3: suspect that Jake and Emily engaged in an affair, oh

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Speaker 3: little British affair. She listed off her suspicions, noting Jake

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Speaker 3: had picked Emily up from the airport, spent considerable time

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Speaker 3: at her hotel, and how the two of them frequently

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Speaker 3: went out to dinner alone and didn't think it's just friends.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't look good. It doesn't look good.

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Speaker 3: She even included pictures of my wife's ear rings that

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Speaker 3: she found in Jake's pockets when she was doing the laundry,

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Speaker 3: and pictures of a lipstick stain on his shirt. This

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Speaker 3: color is There's one I recognize as something Emily often wears.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like.

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Speaker 3: This is Emily's signature shade. There is some other evidence

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Speaker 3: she listed off, for the sake of conciseness, I will

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Speaker 3: not include them here. All this was a lot to absorb,

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Speaker 3: and for a while I thought it was some sort

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Speaker 3: of joke. So I tried my best to ignore it,

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Speaker 3: but it kept coming back into my mind. I remember

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Speaker 3: that before her trip, my wife would talk to all

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Speaker 3: her friends there. I don't know if this email is

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Speaker 3: influencing my memory, but I think she probably spoke with

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Speaker 3: Jake the most. Additionally, I know Emily never liked Jake's wife,

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Speaker 3: though I can't say why. I never pried into Emily's

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Speaker 3: phone or social media accounts before, but I feel very

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Speaker 3: tempted to now. However, I know i'd feel terrible if

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Speaker 3: I looked and found nothing. Also, if I start acting suspicious,

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Speaker 3: wouldn't she just delete everything out of fear of being

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Speaker 3: found out. I'm unsure of how to move forward and

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00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,680
Speaker 3: would welcome any guidance on handling this. The best I

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Speaker 3: can currently come up with is asking to see her

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00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,800
Speaker 3: phone immediately after confronting her about it, so as not

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Speaker 3: to give her now time to delete anything. The part

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Speaker 3: of me thinks this would upset her and potentially not

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Speaker 3: even show anything.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, if she doesn't show you anything, I

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Speaker 2: kind of also prouves, which is probably cheating. It seems

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Speaker 2: like you have a lot of overwhelming evidence here.

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Speaker 3: I know. It's always like if you have nothing to hide,

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Speaker 3: then you're like, here, take my phone, here's my password,

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Speaker 3: here's everything.

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Speaker 2: I think it would still probably damage the relationship, obviously, but.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because if the trust has already broken to

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Speaker 3: the point where you want to look at someone's phone,

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Speaker 3: then yeah, would I be the ahole for telling my

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Speaker 3: wife to show me her phone after I got an

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Speaker 3: email accusing her of cheating. I forgot to include my

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Speaker 3: wife no longer has these earrings. She wasn't wearing them

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Speaker 3: when she returned, and when I asked, she said she lost.

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Speaker 2: Them, lost them in his spocket.

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Speaker 3: A few hours after sharing my first post, I confronted Emily.

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Speaker 3: She confirmed my fears. She claims she's in love with

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Speaker 3: Jake and can't live a lie any longer. She still

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00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:56,680
Speaker 3: claims to love me and the kids, but she says

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Speaker 3: she can't stay with us any longer. That is Terry,

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Speaker 3: I love you, but I love him more. Yeah, I

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00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,800
Speaker 3: need to leave. According to her, she was waiting for

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00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,160
Speaker 3: a better time to tell me and the children. Apparently

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00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,760
Speaker 3: this has been going on since March, with Jake flying

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Speaker 3: out here occasionally and Emily secretly meeting him.

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Speaker 2: Literally, the plot of four weddings and a funeral, the

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Speaker 2: whole thing is just them cheating the whole time. It

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Speaker 2: made me so angry. I hate the cheating movies. Like

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Speaker 2: any movie that involves cheating is part of the romance plot.

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Speaker 3: Mmm, we're getting divorced. Emily is moving to the UK soon.

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Speaker 3: She confirmed that in August, in addition to the wedding,

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Speaker 3: she attended a job interview and she's set to start

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Speaker 3: around the new year. She's already applied for a British

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Speaker 3: visa and she plans to live with Jake when she moves.

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Speaker 3: That is wild to come back confirm your cheating. Be like,

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Speaker 3: I am leaving you and the kids.

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Speaker 2: I'm leaving you, I'm getting my British citizenship. Eventually I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna marry him. Wow.

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00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,760
Speaker 3: I'd be heartbroken, especially as as a kid, seeing my

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Speaker 3: mom just up and leave to go with another man.

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00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 3: As for custody, Emily is voluntarily surrendering her chance of

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Speaker 3: full custody. She doesn't want to uproot the kids, so

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Speaker 3: they'll stay here in Canada with me. There's a part

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00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,480
Speaker 3: of me that appreciates that decision, but there's also the

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00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 3: part that is astonished at how easily she's walking away.

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Speaker 3: She wants to pay child support, but I'd rather raise

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Speaker 3: my children without her financial influence. That said, the court

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00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,400
Speaker 3: will likely insist on support regardless of my feelings. Emily

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00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:29,280
Speaker 3: is also seeking structured visitation rights, which, given the circumstances,

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Speaker 3: will likely be granted. Based on what I've been told,

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Speaker 3: the court generally leans towards arrangements that allow both parents

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Speaker 3: to maintain relationships with the children even when one is

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00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,680
Speaker 3: relocating to a different country. The lawyers are still working

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Speaker 3: out the details, but it seems like She'll have visitation

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Speaker 3: during school breaks and holidays, with the possibility of virtual

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Speaker 3: calls in between. I've been keeping things as amicable as possible,

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Speaker 3: and the more cooperative I am, the more Emily seems

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Speaker 3: to agree with my demands. We are also discussing the

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Speaker 3: future of our home. Emily has expressed a desire to

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Speaker 3: sell the property and divide the proceed.

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Speaker 2: That's frustrating because that's like their children's home.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just taking that again, Like, how do you

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Speaker 3: feel like you have a right over their home when

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00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,280
Speaker 3: you are literally turning their world upside down. While I

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00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,360
Speaker 3: am reluctant to part with the family home, it is

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00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,320
Speaker 3: unlikely I have much of a choice since it was

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Speaker 3: bought during our marriage. For now, our lawyers are still

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00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,440
Speaker 3: working through the details, and wrote no final decisions have

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00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,120
Speaker 3: been made. Giving the situation, it could be a good

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00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,360
Speaker 3: while before we reach a resolution. In the meantime, I've

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00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,640
Speaker 3: been advised not to make any major financial moves. As

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00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,280
Speaker 3: much as I want to stay here with the children,

337
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,480
Speaker 3: I know selling is most likely inevitable. As of this writing,

338
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,600
Speaker 3: Emily is in an airbnb and Jake has flown here.

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Speaker 2: To stay with her.

340
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Speaker 3: Jake go away they plan on traveling to the UK

341
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,000
Speaker 3: at some point in the near future. My lawyer tells

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00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,440
Speaker 3: me that adultery isn't grounds for special treatment when it

343
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:55,000
Speaker 3: comes to custody or property division. Therefore, it won't influence

344
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 3: how assets are divided unless marital funds are directly involved.

345
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,960
Speaker 3: Emily likely used money for her personal account. Unless it

346
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,359
Speaker 3: can be proven she used our joint finances to fund

347
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,280
Speaker 3: the affair, It's unlikely this will make any difference in court.

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00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,680
Speaker 3: That's interesting. I've been a regular communication with Jake's soon

349
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 3: to be ex wife, Eleanor, primarily through email, and more

350
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,879
Speaker 3: recently we've spoken over the phone a few times. Great

351
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,920
Speaker 3: plot twist. If he and Eleanor get together.

352
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Speaker 2: I just want to say yes, do it.

353
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,560
Speaker 3: Eleanor apologized, saying she felt guilty for telling me about

354
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,680
Speaker 3: the affair. No, yeah, come on, Otherwise, OPI would be

355
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Speaker 3: living a life forever and worried that if she hadn't,

356
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,160
Speaker 3: maybe my marriage could have been salvaged. I reassured her

357
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,680
Speaker 3: that for me, the gravity of the situation made divorce inevitable,

358
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,159
Speaker 3: and I'd rather not remain in the dark about something

359
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,640
Speaker 3: of this significance. She even sent me messages and other

360
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,959
Speaker 3: evidence of their relationship, but since Emily is openly admitting

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Speaker 3: to the affair, it doesn't really matter in the context

362
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,520
Speaker 3: of the law. Eleanor has also told me a lot

363
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 3: about Jake. Apparently this is the third time he's cheated

364
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,640
Speaker 3: on her and she's had enough.

365
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't take it.

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00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:00,119
Speaker 3: Third time's a charm. There's no chance of reconciliation in

367
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,119
Speaker 3: this time, she says, and he doesn't seem interested in trying. No.

368
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 2: I mean it seems like he's moving in with freaking Emily.

369
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't care. She mentioned that Jake has zero

370
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,400
Speaker 3: desire to raise children who are not biologically his, which

371
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 3: explains why Emily's not fighting for custody. Eleanor's divorce will

372
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 3: most likely be much longer and more drawn out than mine,

373
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,320
Speaker 3: given that both her and Jake want full custody of

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Speaker 3: their children and can't agree on several other issues. I

375
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,640
Speaker 3: haven't had much time to process everything. These past two

376
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 3: weeks have felt like a blur in every way. But

377
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:31,000
Speaker 3: one thing I can say with certainty is that I

378
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 3: have nothing left for Emily, not because she betrayed our marriage,

379
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 3: but because of how easily she's walking away from our children.

380
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 3: I never thought I could hate someone I once loved

381
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,919
Speaker 3: so much. Oh, it's a strange feeling.

382
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 2: That really got me.

383
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,160
Speaker 3: The hardest part in all of this is the children.

384
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,880
Speaker 3: My two youngest daughters have started asking why their mother

385
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,920
Speaker 3: isn't around as much anymore, and it's been very difficult

386
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,639
Speaker 3: trying to communicate with them about the nature of the situation.

387
00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 3: My eldest seems to understand a little more, and as

388
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,640
Speaker 3: a result, he has become quiet and with t I'm

389
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 3: fortunate to have a family that has been incredibly supportive

390
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,639
Speaker 3: so far. My children have received numerous thoughtful letters from

391
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,880
Speaker 3: some of their cousins, which I've been reading to them

392
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 3: each night. All my siblings have also sent gifts for

393
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,679
Speaker 3: the kids, and one of my brothers, along with his wife,

394
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,119
Speaker 3: drove up to visit over the past weekend. My sister

395
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:20,400
Speaker 3: in law even prepared plenty of food, some of which

396
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,879
Speaker 3: is still in the freezer. They also kept the children

397
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,719
Speaker 3: entertained while I met with my lawyer. This is a

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00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:26,439
Speaker 3: great family.

399
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:26,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

400
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 3: My other siblings have also offered to come by and

401
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,160
Speaker 3: look after the kids whenever I need them, and we

402
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 3: actually need you, guys. Every weekday at three pm. You

403
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 3: can join us live on YouTube. Just tap our profile.

404
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 2: Let's chat about this. I think it seems like they're

405
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 2: doing all of the right steps, so he is not

406
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 2: staying with I mean, it doesn't seem like only wants

407
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,359
Speaker 2: to stay with him anyway. It sucks that you might

408
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,439
Speaker 2: not be able to get the house.

409
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 3: That really says. I feel like Emily's being very selfish.

410
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,119
Speaker 2: Very selfish, Like she's like, oh, well you can have

411
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:58,119
Speaker 2: the kids, so you know, I don't want to disrupt

412
00:19:58,119 --> 00:19:59,640
Speaker 2: their life. I don't think it's les she cares about

413
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 2: disrupt life because she's already disrupted it.

414
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,959
Speaker 3: You're not going to live in close proximity to them,

415
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 3: You're leaving them for another man. You're not going to

416
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 3: be in their life. You don't want custody, like full custody,

417
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 3: and you are trying to uproot them out of the

418
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 3: only home they've ever known.

419
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 2: No, she doesn't care about the kids. She just wants

420
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 2: to like start this fun new life in the UK,

421
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,400
Speaker 2: and she doesn't want to have to take her kids

422
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 2: with her.

423
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 3: Beyond that, my parents have been calling daily to check

424
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 3: in on us, and my seventy eight year old mother

425
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 3: has already made plans to stay with us for two

426
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:34,640
Speaker 3: weeks in November to help around the house. The collective

427
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 3: effort of my family has made this experience much more bearable,

428
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,159
Speaker 3: and I'm deeply grateful for all their support. To everyone

429
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,119
Speaker 3: who encouraged me to speak with Emily after my last post,

430
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 3: I'm grateful. I was tempted to ignore Eleanor's message, but

431
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 3: it kept gnawing at me. Your advice gave me the

432
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 3: courage to act. Emily has shown herself to be a liar,

433
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 3: and I have no doubt that her idea of a

434
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 3: better time was simply when it would cause the least

435
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 3: inconvenience for her and Jake. Yeah, I'm sorry. Ope, you're

436
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,439
Speaker 3: going through it, but you're doing a great job, and

437
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 3: it seems like, do you care about the kids. You're

438
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 3: creating a warm environment for them to transition through this.

439
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 2: I think it's just like letting them know that they're

440
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 2: loved and they've got a whole huge support system. Because

441
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 2: it's gonna be obviously, like so hard for you, it's

442
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 2: gonna be really tough for them too. Yeah, that's the

443
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 2: end of that story. I was betrayed by my boyfriend

444
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 2: and my best friend, so I cut them both out.

445
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 2: Of my life out two for one. Laura thirty female

446
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 2: and I thirty female, met when we started university, and

447
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 2: we clicked right away. We did everything together. She became

448
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 2: like the sister I never had. I'd bring her home,

449
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 2: and my parents loved her so much that they treated

450
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 2: her like one of their own. By the way, this

451
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,119
Speaker 2: comes from aid relists on the r slash Okay storytime

452
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 2: subbured it. So when Laura told me she was struggling financially,

453
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: I didn't think twice. My parents run a small business,

454
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 2: so I convinced them to give her a job. I

455
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 2: thought I was helping my best friend, and that's how

456
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 2: much I trusted her. Around the same time, I met

457
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 2: Kyle thirty one male, who eventually became my boyfriend. From

458
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 2: the very beginning, there was something between us. We had

459
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 2: this instant chemistry and what started as a connection grew

460
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 2: into a beautiful relationship. Kyle made me feel so loved

461
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 2: so seen I thought we had something real and lasting,

462
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 2: like we were building a future together. No, but there

463
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: was always this thing off with Laura. Instead of being

464
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 2: happy for me, I noticed these small, subtle moments where

465
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 2: it felt like she resented my happiness. I ignored it,

466
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 2: thinking I was just imagining things because she was my

467
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 2: closest friend. A year into our friendship, Laura failed one

468
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 2: of her classes and had to repeat the year, while

469
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 2: I moved ahead jealousy. This meant I had to move

470
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: to another city to continue my studies. Kyle also fell

471
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 2: behind a year because he started working and I couldn't

472
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 2: manage both his job and his classes. So now you're

473
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 2: best friend and your boyfriend at together. So we started

474
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 2: a long distance relationship. It wasn't easy, but at first

475
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,199
Speaker 2: we made it work. We visited each other often and

476
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,399
Speaker 2: things seemed fine, though it was hard being a part.

477
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: Six months into the long distance, though, I started noticing

478
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 2: a change in Kyle. He became distant, less affectionate, less present.

479
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 2: It was like he was slowly pulling away. I couldn't

480
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 2: shake the feeling that something was wrong. Naturally, I turned

481
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 2: to Laura. I confided in her, pouring out my worries

482
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:41,479
Speaker 2: about Kyle, hoping for some support. Instead, she shocked me.

483
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 2: She told me I should just break up with him,

484
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 2: that Kyle wasn't good for me. Her words felt cold,

485
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 2: almost calculated. I think she's trying to move in. That's

486
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 2: when the suspicions crept in. I couldn't shake the feeling

487
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 2: that something was going on between them. She's like, you

488
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 2: should just break up. He's not good for you, and

489
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: if you with him, I'm just taking one from the team.

490
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 2: I'm actually helping you. You're walk go. Kyle continued to

491
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 2: grow more distant, and my gut feeling was screaming at me,

492
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 2: trust your instincts. They don't lie men. One day I

493
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 2: saw something that confirmed all my worst fears, a photo

494
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 2: of Kyle on Laura's phone, Like, what kind of photo?

495
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 2: I'm convinced she let me see it on purpose. Yeah,

496
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 2: she wanted to break you guys up, and Kyle wasn't

497
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 2: quick enough.

498
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 3: I don't like her.

499
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 2: She's terrible. Don't like her like she wanted me to know.

500
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 2: I confronted them both separately, and they denied everything at first,

501
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 2: but then Lara broke down, crying and confessed the truth.

502
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,199
Speaker 2: She and Kyle had been seeing each other behind my

503
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 2: back for three months.

504
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

505
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 2: There's more to the story. But Lara definitely was trying

506
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 2: to let you know. Like I feel like if she

507
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 2: wanted to hide it, she would have done better, But

508
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 2: she wanted him to break up with you, so that's

509
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 2: she could datum, this is so messed up.

510
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,919
Speaker 3: I'd be so heartbroken if a friend did this to me.

511
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 2: Why are we being attracted to our friend's cart You

512
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 2: have the same taste.

513
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 3: I know, buy it when someone's in a relationship, let

514
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 3: them be.

515
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 2: Thou shalt not covet your friend's man. No, no no.

516
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 3: And also, like I know, girl code is maybe like

517
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 3: don't date the people that your friends have dated, and

518
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 3: I feel like that is ideal, But if down the

519
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 3: line they were to break up and you truly felt

520
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 3: this was your soul.

521
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: Mate, but to cheat, to cheat, I truly don't understand

522
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 2: because I'm legitimately not attracted to any of my friends,

523
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 2: not even like, uh, they're ugly. I'm just like, we

524
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 2: have different tastes. But that wasn't even the worst part.

525
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 2: Laura actually at the nerve to say that it was

526
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: my fault. She told me that because I had moved

527
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 2: to another city, I wasn't taking care of him like

528
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,199
Speaker 2: I should have. And then she had the audacity to

529
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 2: tell me I should be grateful she was looking after

530
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 2: him for me. Can you imagine my best friend and

531
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 2: my boyfriend buttraying me together, and she had the gall

532
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 2: to act like she was doing me a favor. I

533
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 2: cut both of them out of my life immediately. Good

534
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 2: get them out of there. I couldn't even look at them.

535
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 2: But the story doesn't end there. Three months later, Kyle

536
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,719
Speaker 2: moved to the city where I was living. No stopped

537
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 2: chasing her, let her go. We ended up at the

538
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 2: same university, and I'd run into him all the time.

539
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,679
Speaker 2: Every time he saw me, Kyle would apologize, saying he

540
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,679
Speaker 2: made a huge mistake, that he loved me, that he

541
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 2: wanted to get back together. He was constantly looking for me,

542
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: trying to reconnect, telling me over and over again how

543
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 2: sorry he was. This guy sucks. But by then I

544
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 2: was completely shattered. I had cried myself to sleep so

545
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 2: many nights, feeling like my entire world had been ripped apart.

546
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 2: I couldn't trust either of them anymore. The pain, the betrayal.

547
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 2: I felt like I had been stabbed in the back

548
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 2: by the two people I cared about most. I was devastated.

549
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 2: No matter how many times Kyle told me he loved me,

550
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 2: it didn't matter anymore. I was broken. The pain ran

551
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 2: so deep, and it was all I could do to

552
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,479
Speaker 2: just keep going. And then, as if fate hadn't already

553
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,640
Speaker 2: twisted the knife enough, I found out a few months

554
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 2: later that Laura was frightened with Kyle's child.

555
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 3: You call that like, I feel for Op, but I'm

556
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 3: glad this is in my life.

557
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 2: Like I'm so sorry, I'm so glad this isn't me.

558
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 3: That is way too much. You dodged a bullet, Op,

559
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,479
Speaker 3: you really did, Okay, and I know that that's hurtful,

560
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 3: but like now you can move forward because this is

561
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 3: too much.

562
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: I can't even describe the level of disgust and devastation

563
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 2: I felt. It was like a final blow. The betrayal

564
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,479
Speaker 2: was complete. To make it even more twisted, all our

565
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 2: mutual friends cut ties with her too. They finally saw

566
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 2: what I had missed, how jealous she had been of

567
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 2: me all along, how toxic she really was. I couldn't

568
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 2: believe how blind I'd been, how stupid I felt for

569
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 2: trusting her so completely. In the end, despite everything, I

570
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: wished them happiness, well I had to. They deserved each other.

571
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 2: Two people who had lied, cheated, and betrayed me behind

572
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 2: my back. They were perfect for each other. It really

573
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 2: is funny because I know people are like this, who

574
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 2: are like the you know, the two worst people, And

575
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, they're still together.

576
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 3: They deserve each other, They're on the same level.

577
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 2: Years later, I ran into Laura again. She had the

578
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 2: audacity to ask if we could be friends, claiming enough

579
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,360
Speaker 2: time it passed and that we should be mature about it.

580
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 3: No, enough time has not passed when you do something

581
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 3: that diabolical.

582
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,360
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no. She even wanted me to meet

583
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 2: her son. Should I be mature enough to forgive them

584
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 2: for everything? Or is it time to prioritize my own piece,

585
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 2: prioritize your own piece, and you should prioritize us. Every

586
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 2: week to three pm PST. Just have her profile. But

587
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,919
Speaker 2: there is a little update to these people are terrible.

588
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 2: Cut them out of your life forever. You don't know

589
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 2: them anything. Let them have their little family life together. Ikey,

590
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 2: I literally have nothing to say about this other than like,

591
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 2: never talk to them again, and I'm so sorry. But

592
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: there is an update. I've seen a lot of people

593
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 2: asking if Kyle and Laura are still together, and the

594
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 2: answer is, I honestly don't know. Some mutual friends told

595
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 2: me once that Kyle never really considered Laura his official partner,

596
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 2: and that he thinks she got pregnant to trap.

597
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 3: Him because she is manipulative.

598
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 2: Wouldn't put it past her, oh my, because she's kind

599
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 2: of manipulated this whole thing. There is a world where

600
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 2: she was so jealous that Kyle still like, even after

601
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 2: she broke Opee and Kyle up, he was still choosing Opee,

602
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 2: where she was like so jealous, she was like, what's

603
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 2: the only way that I can get him have a baby? Yeah,

604
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 2: according to them, Kyle doesn't post anything on social media

605
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 2: about her, just the child, who must be about three

606
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 2: years old.

607
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 3: Now.

608
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, she always uploads pictures of the three of them together, embarrassing.

609
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 2: As for my relationship with her, there isn't one. I

610
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 2: haven't spoken to Laura in years. Good. The last time

611
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 2: I saw her was by accident. I bumped into her

612
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: at a pharmacy. When she saw me, she acted all

613
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 2: excited and tried to hug me. It was so uncomfortable.

614
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 2: I pretended I was on the phone just to avoid

615
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 2: talking to her. But that's the end of that story.

616
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 2: Cut the toxic people out of your life. Yeah, Now

617
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 2: today you can go one eight Andrew to cut the

618
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,719
Speaker 2: toxic people out of your life, or you can call

619
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 2: us and we'll cut them out for you.

620
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 3: I'm exact us did by people's trauma.

621
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 2: They've got so much it just keeps coming. But sorry, Op,

622
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 2: and I'm glad that you're three years out of that

623
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: because they're still stuck in it. Man. But that's the

624
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 2: end of that story. Hey, it's Sam, your og host here.

625
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

626
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors. My best friends and

627
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 2: I planned a trip together. I just found out they

628
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 2: booked it without me. No, I don't like that. That's

629
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 2: so mean. Me twenty four female, and my two best

630
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 2: friends twenty three female went to university together and immediately

631
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 2: got close. We were inseparable all of the three years

632
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 2: of studying. However, this summer we graduated and moved completely

633
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 2: different places. By the way, this comes from Lebree on

634
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime suffered it. We talk daily

635
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 2: and our group chat catch up over FaceTime. One of

636
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 2: the two got a job in another country in Europe,

637
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 2: and ever since she knew she was going to move there,

638
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 2: we have been planning and been so excited to visit

639
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 2: her for New Year's Eve. Five days ago, I texted

640
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 2: them to arrange a FaceTime call to start planning and

641
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 2: booking our trip. Later that night, the friend working abroad

642
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: called me and suggested we could come later in the

643
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 2: spring instead, when it's warmer, and that she thought she

644
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 2: might not get days off work. But just now she

645
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 2: suddenly posted a screenshot on her private story of Snapchat

646
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: messages between them that the third friend had booked a

647
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: flight for New Year's Eve. I just don't know what

648
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 2: to feel. Why would they post it when they know

649
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: you could see.

650
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 3: That social media. It's so easy to just keep stuff

651
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 3: off of social media.

652
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 2: So easy. If you're going to be awful, don't post

653
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 2: about it. True. I just don't know what to feel.

654
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: I feel so disappointed and left out. We have done

655
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 2: things together before where two of us would hang out

656
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 2: and not include the third. But we have traveled together

657
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 2: many times and we've always agreed on that we have

658
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 2: so much fun traveling together. How should I go on

659
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 2: and approach this. I need advice, as I'm not the

660
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 2: confrontational type and we've never really had arguments before. I

661
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 2: don't want to come across as petty, although I kind

662
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 2: of am, and also I don't want to be invited

663
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 2: out of pity. I can't think of anything that would

664
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 2: make them be mad at me or anything like that. Okay,

665
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 2: writing this out, I think I really wanted to vent.

666
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: But also I would love some advice on how to

667
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: deal with this. I don't want to create bad vibes

668
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 2: between us, But how would you go about this with

669
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 2: close friends? Maybe someone has experienced similar situations and there

670
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 2: is an update. What's your initial advice here?

671
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 3: I would have a conversation. I don't know if you

672
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 3: need to have all three because I think no, But

673
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 3: I think if there's one friend in the group that

674
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 3: you feel closest too, that you trust the most, going

675
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 3: to them and just being like, hey, I'm feeling some

676
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 3: type of way about this, I just want to know, like,

677
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 3: was this on purpose?

678
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 2: Yes?

679
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 3: Did you just want it to be you?

680
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 2: Three? Okay, so it's time for an update. I'm so

681
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 2: thankful for everyone commenting on my posts and sending me

682
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 2: private messages. Thank you so much for your insight. It

683
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 2: has really helped me to think this all through. I

684
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 2: wrote the post crying in the bathroom while working my

685
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 2: night shift. I went to bed with two comments, and

686
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 2: after sleeping for almost twelve hours. I woke up to

687
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 2: one hundred. At this point, the whole day had almost

688
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 2: gone by night shift week equals I slept all Friday,

689
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 2: and I still hadn't heard from them. Honestly, I got

690
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: so mad and had no hope left that I would.

691
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 2: While trying to read through all of the comments on

692
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 2: here and decide on what to do, I got a

693
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 2: text in the group chat she had booked a flight

694
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: and that I should join that one.

695
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 3: Mm.

696
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 2: Oh, so, what so now they're excluding? I waited until

697
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 2: after breakfast before I replied ha ha, but ultimately answered

698
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 2: that I didn't understand that I did not feel welcome

699
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 2: to join when they had already planned it all without me.

700
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 2: The last thing I heard was that we should do

701
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 2: it later, and then I found and then I find

702
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 2: out via your snapchat story. They immediately told me that

703
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 2: was not their intention at all. They said they were

704
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 2: really sorry I felt that way and didn't want me

705
00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 2: to feel excluded. A broad girl called me on FaceTime immediately,

706
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 2: and she told me that they hadn't really spoken that

707
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 2: much at all, and that it was a spontaneous decision

708
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 2: that flightgirl had made minutes before the snapchat post was made.

709
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 2: She said she understood why I felt that way, but

710
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,760
Speaker 2: that she always hoped I would come along as well.

711
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 2: And there is there's more to this story, but really quick,

712
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 2: I think it's still really hurtful, regardless of whether or

713
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 2: not you know that was a conscious decision to exclude her,

714
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 2: but it's still I feel like you still get in

715
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 2: that mindset of like even though it was a snap decision,

716
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 2: In that snap decision, you thought about any other people, yeah,

717
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 2: and not me, absolutely, Like I wasn't the one that

718
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,280
Speaker 2: came to your mind. And that still is hurtful.

719
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 3: Absolutely, Any type of exclusion hurts.

720
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, regardless of it's if it's intentional or not. Yeah.

721
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 2: Later I got a FaceTime call from flight Girl. She

722
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 2: tried to explain how she felt the need to just

723
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 2: book the flight after debating for so long if she

724
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 2: could afford it, and that she ultimately just decided to

725
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 2: do it, that we had been talking about it for

726
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 2: so long and didn't want to wait any longer. But

727
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 2: you can always just text in the group. Job said me,

728
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm just gonna get these tickets. I

729
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 2: repeatedly said. She was sorry she didn't consult me first.

730
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 2: She also knew that a broad girl might have to work,

731
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 2: but that she wanted to go anyways, I admit that

732
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 2: I didn't get to say all I wanted to say,

733
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 2: and I should have taken the tip of writing it

734
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 2: down before I got on the calls. In my head,

735
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 2: it just didn't make sense to be hyped for a

736
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 2: girls trip and to just book by themselves if they

737
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 2: were really excited for me to come along. I just

738
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 2: felt it wasn't like them to do it like that

739
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 2: when we've always arranged meetups for these things earlier, booking, planning, hyping,

740
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,840
Speaker 2: pinter spoards, etc. Although I don't think I got to

741
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 2: express this as much as I would like, looking back,

742
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 2: I feel they understood. I guess them texting me first

743
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 2: was what I hoped for, but I still felt a

744
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 2: little weird about it. I don't know if I'm going

745
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 2: to go, but honestly I don't think I will. Me

746
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 2: trying to avoid conflict, as usual, told them I had

747
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 2: to look into it if I would get work off

748
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 2: on those days. A lot of you guys thought I

749
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 2: should cut them off, and I had and had. I

750
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,800
Speaker 2: never got that text first. I honestly don't know where

751
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 2: I would stand not saying they made up for it.

752
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 2: I still think it was really crappy, but I think

753
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 2: they know that now. I feel lighter. Had I not

754
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 2: talked to them today, I don't think I would be

755
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 2: over it easily. These are close friends. I know and

756
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 2: love them on such a deep level, and they know

757
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 2: and love me. But for now they know where I stand.

758
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,360
Speaker 2: If something like this happens again, it will not be

759
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 2: taken lightly. And you know what should never be taken lightly.

760
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 2: Joining us live every week day at three PMPSD. Just

761
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 2: tap our provat and again there's just a little bit

762
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 2: left to the story. But I think I think that

763
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 2: this is not an end the friendship. No, I was

764
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 2: surprised to hear it. Yeah, it seems like they had

765
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 2: handled it pretty mature. Yeah. And also pe, if you

766
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 2: feel like you didn't get to say everything that you

767
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,399
Speaker 2: wanted to say, you know you could still go and

768
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 2: there's no time limit on it.

769
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 3: That's true. I feel like that's huge in friendships, not

770
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 3: letting things fester and then build resentment, Like better to

771
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 3: just share how you're feeling, be like, hey, that kind

772
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 3: of hurt me. I felt left out. I felt like

773
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 3: I was an afterthought, I think that's what it is.

774
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 2: It's the main thing. Yeah, m M, yeah, yeah, But

775
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,720
Speaker 2: it seems like at least they texted you, you talked

776
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 2: about it a little bit, and I think at the

777
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 2: end of the day, you don't have to go on

778
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,240
Speaker 2: the trip, regardless of whether or not you guys hashed

779
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,879
Speaker 2: it out or not sure, if it still bothers you, you

780
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 2: can be like, you know what, I'm going to sit

781
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 2: this one out. But yeah, it's good that you talked

782
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 2: to your friends. Yeah, I don't know if I'm just

783
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 2: naive at this point. I certainly hope i'm not. But

784
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,439
Speaker 2: it's not like them to keep me in the dark

785
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 2: on purpose, and I hope they understand how much my

786
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 2: heart sank when I saw that snapchat post. I'm so

787
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 2: sorry to hear about your experiences with crappy friends in

788
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 2: the comments, and I feel for you and admire you

789
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 2: for standing your ground and cutting them off. I'm trying

790
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 2: to reflect on how I should navigate this friendship from

791
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 2: now on and be a little observant to it if

792
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 2: it becomes a pattern when it comes to these friends.

793
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 2: Please let me know if you have opinions on this

794
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 2: or questions or anything at all. Peace didn't really this

795
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 2: post turned out so long and additional information from Opi

796
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 2: Opie says, okay, f when I posted this, I realized

797
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 2: how pissed really am I really am? What the hell?

798
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 2: I want to give them the benefit of the doubt,

799
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 2: but it doesn't sit right with me. No, why am

800
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 2: I so back and forth? Like if it feels like

801
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 2: a pity invite and that kind of means I was

802
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 2: never part of the plan, and that really ooh after

803
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 2: so bad up He's like, type of this whole thing

804
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 2: out and it's like, you know what, you know we've

805
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 2: and then comes back and it's like, no, I'm actually

806
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 2: really angry about this still, and that's okay. That is okay.

807
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 2: You can have multiple feelings about it that just keep

808
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 2: talking to your friends. That's all you can do. And

809
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 2: if you realize, you know, if you I think, if

810
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 2: it's a consistent thing where they constantly are you know,

811
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 2: you're an aptterthoughts they're not thinking about you, that it's

812
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 2: time to maybe take a step back reevaluate those friendships.

813
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 2: But it's just something to keep an eye out for now.

814
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story.

815
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 3: I just found out my friends mocked me in a

816
00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 3: group chat. I pretended I didn't know. Why would you

817
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 3: pretend you don't know?

818
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 2: You gotta.

819
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 3: I am Ron twenty eight male, and I'm currently living

820
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 3: with my roommate, Emma fake names twenty seven female. She

821
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 3: is my younger sister's best friend, and I knew I've

822
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 3: known her since we were kids. Originally, my sister was

823
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 3: living with us, but she left to study abroad, and

824
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 3: now she lives there with her fiance. By the way,

825
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 3: this comes from Pohbody's nerfic zero two that really did

826
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 3: something in my brain on the Okay storytime subreddit. So

827
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:34,919
Speaker 3: it's her late ant's apartment, so she lets me stay

828
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,720
Speaker 3: there without paying rent, but we share bills and chores.

829
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 3: Great deal, if you ask me. I never had a

830
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,839
Speaker 3: problem with me and Emma living together. There were never

831
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 3: any romantic feelings both ways. I respected her boyfriends and

832
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 3: she respected my girlfriends. I think of her as a

833
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 3: part of my family, like a sister. Two months ago,

834
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 3: while she was taking a shower, I saw a notification

835
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 3: on her phone with my name on it, and I

836
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,320
Speaker 3: looked at it and it said I found the perfect

837
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 3: girl for prank.

838
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 2: What the frick? Why are we involved?

839
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,760
Speaker 3: Why are we doing this? I got curious and opened

840
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 3: her phone since I know her pass code. There I

841
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 3: saw how basically all our mutual friends except a few

842
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 3: I had from my army days and my childhood best

843
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 3: friend who lives in another city, were all members of

844
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 3: a group chat that started a month ago. And there

845
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 3: they were all sharing memes and gifts, mocking me about

846
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 3: my appearance, and basically I became the equivalent of ugly

847
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 3: to them. I couldn't understand why they were so mean,

848
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 3: since I genuinely thought we had a good relationship and friendship.

849
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 3: That would surprise me too, Like I think we're all chill,

850
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 3: and then you guys are bad mouthing me.

851
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 2: In a group chat. God, oh my god, rude.

852
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 3: As I was scrolling all the way back, I found

853
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 3: out that everything started after my roommate told one of

854
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,760
Speaker 3: her friends that she's so corny she's thinking of effing

855
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 3: the old and fat hobo who's sleeping on our rooftop sometimes.

856
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 3: Her friend replied that I'm single too and she could

857
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:01,919
Speaker 3: f me, and my roommate answered, she's not that desperate yet,

858
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 3: and they both share laughing emojis and stuff. Then they

859
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,439
Speaker 3: kept at it by posting puking emojis when they talked

860
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 3: how they imagine I had spicy sleep.

861
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

862
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,879
Speaker 3: Then other friends started getting into the joke, and soon

863
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 3: they created an entire group just so they could share

864
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 3: humiliating posts about me. They even started using I'd rather

865
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 3: f the ovo as an inside joke, which I heard

866
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 3: them say a few times but didn't know what it

867
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 3: meant until now.

868
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 2: Everyone in that group chat needs to get a hobby,

869
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,240
Speaker 2: because they clearly have too much times.

870
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 3: I was standing there reading all these comments, feeling numb

871
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,880
Speaker 3: and not knowing how to react. They also planned to

872
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,879
Speaker 3: pull a prank on me. They would have a really

873
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 3: pretty girl flirt with me and ask me out, and

874
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 3: when I would go to the dates, she would stand

875
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:49,359
Speaker 3: me up and they would have a bet of how

876
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 3: long I would wait for her. You guys, this isn't

877
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 3: really awful, This isn't funny. I would not do that

878
00:41:55,800 --> 00:42:01,240
Speaker 3: to anybody, anyone, not to anyone because they're not an ahole. Obviously,

879
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 3: since I knew their plans, I rejected the girl's advances

880
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 3: to I imagine all of their surprise. Now I'm not

881
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,760
Speaker 3: insecure about my appearance. I know I'm not good looking.

882
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, let's objective.

883
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I never had trouble finding girls, and despite

884
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 3: what they wrote, they didn't make me feel ugly or

885
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 3: sorry for myself. I'm just hurt that they would do

886
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 3: something like that, since I never did anything to warrant

887
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 3: such mockery. Of course, I'm more hurt about Emma, and

888
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 3: I'm mostly confused since I know she cares a lot

889
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 3: about me. Three years ago, I had a motorcycle accident

890
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 3: and she practically slept in the hospital for the ten

891
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 3: days I was there, and after we came back home,

892
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 3: she helped me all the time until I got better.

893
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 3: So I don't know why she would do something so

894
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 3: mean towards me personally. I think it was just a

895
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 3: joke comment that got out of hand. After that, I

896
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 3: stopped hanging out with them. I started using work as

897
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 3: an excuse, but I limited my interactions with all of them,

898
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 3: including Emma. If I knew they'd be at home, i'd

899
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 3: stay longer at work or go for a walk until

900
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 3: they left, or I'd go out with my other friends

901
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 3: I know need a new roommate. If they suggest a

902
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 3: night out, I'd say I was tired from work, or

903
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 3: sick and wouldn't go. I've cried a few times. I

904
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 3: stayed home thinking about the whole situation. Emma asked me

905
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 3: the other day if everything is all right, and I

906
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,279
Speaker 3: told her I had some pressure at work since I'm

907
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 3: aiming for a promotion. How are Why? Yeah? Why wouldn't

908
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 3: you just be straight up and say you're heard? Yeah?

909
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 2: You guys, that's not a lie.

910
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 3: Actually, our company is opening a new branch in another city,

911
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 3: and I was originally asked to relocate there, but I

912
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 3: declined since I would be all alone and had to

913
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 3: start my social circle from zero. But after that I

914
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 3: talked with my boss and I agreed to relocate once

915
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 3: the facilities are ready, which is in January twenty twenty

916
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 3: five according to schedule. I haven't told anyone about this yet.

917
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 3: This might be a good change, Honestly, get out of

918
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 3: this negative space, negative energy. The reason for this post

919
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,839
Speaker 3: is that about a week ago, I once again looked

920
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,359
Speaker 3: at her phone to see if they kept the group

921
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,840
Speaker 3: chat there. I saw that they kept making fun of me,

922
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 3: but some of them pointed out that I stopped interacting

923
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 3: with them and wondered if I was all right or

924
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 3: if something had happened to me.

925
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 2: That's crazy at it, that's crazy. They're like, Oh, you

926
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 2: hope he's so freaking ugly. Ope, he's not doing well.

927
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 3: Wild One even asked if there's a chance I know

928
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,719
Speaker 3: about them making fun of me, but they all dismiss that,

929
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 3: saying they haven't said anything, and they even dared to

930
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,760
Speaker 3: say that even if I knew, it's all harmless. Anyways,

931
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 3: Emma told them about my promotion, and that convinced them

932
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 3: that I'm just stressed about work, and then they continued

933
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,399
Speaker 3: mocking me with memes, this time about my job.

934
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 2: What who are these people?

935
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 3: Not nice people and people you need to get away from.

936
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 3: I don't even know their motives. At this point, I

937
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 3: don't get it at all. I realize that there's no

938
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 3: going back anymore. But I also realized that in the

939
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 3: last two months I haven't had any fun. So my

940
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 3: plan now is to keep pretending I don't know anything,

941
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 3: but start hanging out with them again, because since I

942
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 3: won't see them anymore after five months, I can at

943
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 3: least have some fun. I used to like going out

944
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 3: with them, so for the next few months, I can

945
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 3: pretend they're still my friends. We actually do plan to

946
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 3: go out all together to see a movie and.

947
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:02,760
Speaker 2: Then for some drinks.

948
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 3: When time comes and I'm ready to leave, I leave

949
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 3: without informing anyone, including Emma, and once I'm out, in

950
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 3: a way, i'll block them all besides Emma, since I

951
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 3: care about her and want her to know that despite anything,

952
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 3: I'm there for her, and if anyone tries to contact

953
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 3: me or pretend they care about me leaving, I'll simply

954
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,839
Speaker 3: send Emma the screenshots of their chat and I hope

955
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,240
Speaker 3: this will shut them up anyway. Sorry for my English,

956
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 3: I'm not a native speaker. Thanks if anyone read it.

957
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 3: I don't think there's anything wrong, which is going to

958
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 3: Emma and just being like, hey, I saw the group

959
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 3: chat I saw.

960
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:35,840
Speaker 2: I think that if you care like it seems like

961
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 2: op he still cares about Emma and still wants a

962
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 2: relationship despite all of this, So I think that you

963
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:41,800
Speaker 2: should go to her and say, hey, it's all of this.

964
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 1: Wow.

965
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 3: I didn't expect all the support and love.

966
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 2: Thank you.

967
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 3: I realized that it's a situation that most people wouldn't

968
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 3: want to be in, so Treasure, you're real friends. I

969
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 3: want to clarify some things. As I mentioned in my post,

970
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:55,840
Speaker 3: I do have friends outside that group.

971
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: I have my army.

972
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 3: I have my Army brothers that we meet twice a month,

973
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 3: message a lot who I know have my back as

974
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 3: I have theirs, and my best friend who lives in

975
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 3: another city that will be very close to me after

976
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 3: I leave.

977
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:07,720
Speaker 2: That's amazing.

978
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 3: It's basically an hour driving. We talk daily, and I

979
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 3: think he'll be excited once he finds out I'm going

980
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 3: to be so close to him. The people in the

981
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 3: group chat are mostly our mutual friends since university or

982
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 3: past jobs. Not all of them talk bad about me,

983
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 3: but they're all members there, so they're all in it,

984
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 3: so I guess it's the same in a way. They

985
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 3: usually hang out at our place where we watch movies,

986
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 3: playboard games, etc. I feel bad for losing them, but

987
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 3: it doesn't compare in the thought of losing my best

988
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 3: friend or my army brothers. Right, You're real friends that

989
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 3: wouldn't talk crap about you. About my sister, I didn't

990
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 3: tell her because then she would tell Emma, and then

991
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 3: they'd all know, which is what I've been trying to avoid.

992
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 3: If I wanted them to know, I tell them. I'm

993
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 3: not afraid to tell them because I'm desperate for their friendship. No,

994
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 3: I don't want to tell them because I don't want

995
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 3: the drama. I want to avoid it. I work more

996
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 3: now in my job to learn my new role, so

997
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 3: the last thing I want to deal with is all

998
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 3: of that drama or fake apologies, etc. I'd rather be

999
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 3: just me pretending I don't know, than all of them

1000
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 3: pretending they're sorry.

1001
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:09,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1002
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 3: I understand why some people don't want me to hang

1003
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 3: out with them and just expose them to everything, but

1004
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,439
Speaker 3: it wouldn't benefit me to do it. All I would

1005
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 3: gain is drama and awkward situations. I'd rather focus on

1006
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 3: me planning my departure, get ready for my new role,

1007
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 3: and figure the aftermath. In the meantime, I don't think

1008
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 3: it would do me any good to end things with

1009
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 3: them now. I figure I can't make new friends or

1010
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 3: seek out a girlfriend in this city since I'm leaving,

1011
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 3: so I can manage a few months in their company

1012
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:40,320
Speaker 3: instead of closing off to myself, and then we have

1013
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 3: a little bit more Second edit, I wasn't expecting so

1014
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 3: much attention, to be honest, and it's not something I wanted.

1015
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 3: I just wanted to vent, like a don't want drama.

1016
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,959
Speaker 3: I don't don't want this. I just wanted to event

1017
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:55,759
Speaker 3: get it out of my chest and move on with

1018
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 3: my life, maybe have a few comforting comments or even

1019
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,320
Speaker 3: someone point out my fault. But it's been only a

1020
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 3: day and I see there's too much traffic on my

1021
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 3: story and it makes me uncomfortable. Uh someone said my

1022
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 3: story made it to TikTok, like WTF. I hope I

1023
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 3: didn't make a mistake by sharing it, because the last

1024
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 3: thing I want is for someone to figure out who

1025
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 3: I am. I thought by sharing it on Reddit that

1026
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 3: they never use, i'd be safe. But I don't know

1027
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:21,839
Speaker 3: what will happen if it goes out to other platforms.

1028
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 3: Since they don't use English as much, I hope it

1029
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 3: won't reach them, and if it does, they won't know

1030
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 3: what it is about. I was gonna think of a

1031
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,320
Speaker 3: cute transition, I don't have one. By the way, you

1032
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 3: can join us live on YouTube every weekday at three

1033
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 3: pm PST. Just have our profile. I want to thank

1034
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 3: you all again for your support. Honestly, you seem like

1035
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 3: a great community. I won't add anything else to my

1036
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 3: post again. I will try to answer as many comments

1037
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 3: as I can. If I don't.

1038
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

1039
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 3: I guess since a lot of you asked this of me.

1040
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 3: I will update once everything goes through, So maybe in

1041
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 3: a year or earlier. I hope I won't forget about

1042
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,879
Speaker 3: this post and the love you showed me until then.

1043
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 3: By and take care of yourselves. So Obi is like

1044
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 3: so nice, Yeah, because.

1045
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 2: Like seems like a really great person and your friends.

1046
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: Really.

1047
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry. That's actually very it's very hurtful, and

1048
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 3: I think the more I think about it quite traumatic. Oh.

1049
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 3: I don't know if after something like that happened to me,

1050
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 3: if I'd be able to look at a friend group

1051
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 3: the same way. I don't think I would, especially if

1052
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 3: I entered into a new friend group and had to

1053
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 3: build those relationships and just constantly felt insecure and like rama.

1054
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like, how do you gain back that

1055
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:29,920
Speaker 2: trust in people?

1056
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad you're moving on. I'm glad you're able

1057
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 3: to like fresh start, fresh star, be near your og

1058
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 3: army friends and other best friend and just you know,

1059
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,439
Speaker 3: do you and don't let anybody bring you down?

1060
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: You do you?

1061
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 2: Boo?

1062
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey it's John here. We're gonna get back to

1063
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 1: the stories. Put a quick three minute ad break from

1064
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 1: our sponsors that keep the show going.

1065
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 2: My roommate's karaoke party ruined my night. Now I want

1066
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,960
Speaker 2: to move out. They went too hard.

1067
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 3: What songs were they singing?

1068
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 2: What pissed you off? They don't love you, GOLLA. Last

1069
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 2: night was rough. But before I get to that, I

1070
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 2: want to explain and add some context about our living situation.

1071
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 2: I twenty five female, live with my best friend B

1072
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 2: twenty five female and her friend A twenty four mail

1073
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 2: let's call him Betty and Andrea. Me and Betty are

1074
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 2: coworkers and we wake up at every day at eight am,

1075
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 2: while Andrea gets up at six am. We live in

1076
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 2: an apartment building with no neighbors, and we have a

1077
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 2: large speaker to host karaoke parties. By the way, this

1078
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 2: comes from dry Inflation thirty four to ninety eight on

1079
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:36,239
Speaker 2: the Arslas Shoke Storytime suburt It. I am on the

1080
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 2: introverted side because social gatherings tend to stress me out.

1081
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 2: I can handle them from time to time, but I

1082
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:45,359
Speaker 2: need to isolate to recharge. Yesterday, we had a rough

1083
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 2: shift at work, so during our break I told Betty

1084
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 2: I need to get some alone time after we get home.

1085
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:52,839
Speaker 2: Because I have not been able to since I moved

1086
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 2: in five months ago. Betty tends to really enjoy my

1087
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:59,320
Speaker 2: company and can be introverted as well. However, I have

1088
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:03,319
Speaker 2: been feeling overwhelmed lately since we're socializing way too much

1089
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 2: more than what I'm comfortable with, and I thought expressing

1090
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 2: this to her would help her understand I need a

1091
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:12,439
Speaker 2: bit of distance to enjoy my hobbies. I have three

1092
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 2: cats in our apartment and they seem to like it here.

1093
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 2: Both my roommates love the company of cats and we

1094
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 2: have had no issues except for one. Betty will often

1095
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,760
Speaker 2: throw a karaoke party with a lot of her friends

1096
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 2: without notice, and I can confirm this stresses out my cats.

1097
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 2: I moved into this apartment maybe two months after they

1098
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 2: got situated, so in return, I got the smallest room

1099
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 2: in the apartment. Due to this arrangement, I often keep

1100
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 2: my doorked open so they so that my cats can

1101
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,919
Speaker 2: freely roam the house, tend to the litter box, drink water,

1102
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 2: and eat some dry kibble if needed. My roommates will

1103
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 2: close their doors at night for privacy. I don't mind

1104
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 2: her throwing parties if that's what she wants to do.

1105
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 2: But I will admit it would be nice to get

1106
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 2: a heads up so that I'm not so surprised that

1107
00:51:57,719 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 2: a lot of people are in the common area. I

1108
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 2: like mentally preparing myself before I get thrown into a

1109
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 2: social gathering. I plan to relax and play some video

1110
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 2: games during the evening before a shift tomorrow morning. When

1111
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 2: I noticed more people kept showing up, my friend Betty

1112
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: invited at least nine people to our apartment, and three

1113
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 2: I have never met before. She threw a party without

1114
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:22,840
Speaker 2: any warning or notice, no text or nothing. My suspicion

1115
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,720
Speaker 2: is she felt comfortable enough to not warn us because

1116
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 2: we're all friends and chill about anything. I wish, though,

1117
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:31,280
Speaker 2: that she would be more considerate of people's schedules, because

1118
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,839
Speaker 2: we do all have to sleep for our morning shifts. Absolutely,

1119
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:38,839
Speaker 2: I think we need to establish roommate etiquette. Yeah, if

1120
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:40,840
Speaker 2: this is a problem for you and she just like

1121
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 2: isn't realizing, you just need to talk, have a conversation.

1122
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 3: Shit, nine people over without even a text, I'd be

1123
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:49,879
Speaker 3: a little pissed off.

1124
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:54,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, the karaoke was so loud and didn't end until

1125
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 2: one am. They were all and having fun. I didn't

1126
00:52:57,560 --> 00:52:59,479
Speaker 2: say anything because I wanted to be a good friend

1127
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 2: and not embarrasser in front of her party. I was

1128
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 2: getting tired by eleven PM, so I started laying down

1129
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 2: and tried to distract myself by watching TV. At midnight,

1130
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 2: my sweetest cat Airy laid on me and I started

1131
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,760
Speaker 2: to feel a warm liquid seeping through the comforter.

1132
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 3: No.

1133
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 2: I jolted up in shock and started stripping my bed immediately.

1134
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:23,279
Speaker 2: I had a lot of mixture of emotions. I was

1135
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:25,759
Speaker 2: not angry at my cat because I understood at that

1136
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,320
Speaker 2: moment she probably was too freaked out to use the

1137
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 2: litter box. Since there are so many strangers in the house,

1138
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 2: it disrupts their evening routine and the loud noises would

1139
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 2: overwhelm me too. The litter box is located closer to

1140
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,720
Speaker 2: the living room since it cannot fit into my bedroom

1141
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,919
Speaker 2: or anywhere else The party is coming from the living room.

1142
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 2: I also cannot conveniently move the litter box around because

1143
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 2: it is self automated plugged into a wall. After I

1144
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 2: noticed my cat at Peede so much, I immediately started

1145
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 2: washing my comforters and decided there is no way I

1146
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 2: can make it to work in the morning. Stayed up

1147
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:04,839
Speaker 2: until four am, washing everything because cat pissed lingers if

1148
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 2: not taken care of a SAP. I was pissed, disappointed, restless, pissed, depressed, confused,

1149
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 2: and shocked. I don't understand why my friend had to

1150
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 2: specifically throw a random, loud karaoke party after I told

1151
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 2: her I don't want to socialize at all that day.

1152
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 2: I think maybe this friend, if she just wasn't thinking,

1153
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:28,359
Speaker 2: it might have been like, oh, you don't want to socialize.

1154
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:28,879
Speaker 3: You can stay in your room.

1155
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'd just going to stay inside.

1156
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:31,839
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1157
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 2: That might have been which is still I mean, like

1158
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 2: she still should have absolutely talked to you about this

1159
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 2: and stuff, But that might have been the Like it

1160
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 2: might not have been a personal attack.

1161
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,839
Speaker 3: On you, probably not, but it's it's but it's still

1162
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 3: it's still.

1163
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:46,279
Speaker 2: You know a thing about respect and making sure that

1164
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:50,320
Speaker 2: your boundaries are being met. It's either a coincidence or

1165
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 2: she did it on purpose. Random friends were trying to

1166
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 2: get me to come out of my room to join

1167
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 2: in the fun and barging in to see what I

1168
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 2: was doing before the cat pee occurred. They were all

1169
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 2: I also, I don't understand how my friend would throw

1170
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 2: a party while she knows we have work tomorrow morning.

1171
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,320
Speaker 2: I had to sit on my mattress with no sheets,

1172
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 2: having a panic attack while I waited for an hour

1173
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 2: for the karaoke to stop. I feel so bad for

1174
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:14,320
Speaker 2: my cats that it has given me ideas to completely

1175
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 2: break the least agreement with them and live on my own.

1176
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 2: At one thirty am, I saw my friend approaching the

1177
00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 2: bathroom and she strikes a conversation with me. I told

1178
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,399
Speaker 2: her about my cat peeing on me, and her first

1179
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 2: instinct is to laugh as if it's a funny joke.

1180
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:31,479
Speaker 2: My cat beeat a lot, and she tried to blame

1181
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 2: it on gall bladder issues, when it is obviously due

1182
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 2: to high stress of strangers croaking on the microphone. I

1183
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 2: try to explain to her how much it scares cats

1184
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 2: when the it is abrupt changes to their environment. I

1185
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 2: also told her I had informed her boss I won't

1186
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 2: be coming to work for the morning at twelve thirty

1187
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:51,800
Speaker 2: am because I have to wash my sheets. So she

1188
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 2: texted at twelve thirty like at midnight. She doesn't have

1189
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 2: a car, so I drive us both to work, and

1190
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 2: I tried to inform her earlier by texting she will

1191
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,319
Speaker 2: have to walk to work, hoping she realizes she needs

1192
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 2: to wrap things up. She said she didn't see my

1193
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 2: text at all since her phone was charging. But you

1194
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 2: can see us every weekday on YouTube at three PMPSD.

1195
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,320
Speaker 2: You just to have her profile and there is a

1196
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:15,720
Speaker 2: little bit left to the story. But what are your thoughts.

1197
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 3: I just think it's it's hard for me to not

1198
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 3: now after reading that last bit, be like, OHP's being

1199
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,200
Speaker 3: a little over dramatic, a little sensitive.

1200
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, And this might be because I have a completely

1201
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 2: different take on like I have a different reaction, you know.

1202
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:36,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think. Look, I think a lot

1203
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 3: of us have lived with roommates where are compatible exactly,

1204
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 3: You're not compatible, your lifestyles are different, whatever it is.

1205
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 3: I've been in places where I'm trying to sleep and

1206
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 3: people are being so loud. But you have to pick

1207
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 3: and choose your battles. And I think that had Op's

1208
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,879
Speaker 3: roommate been like, I'm gonna have people over, like when

1209
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 3: do you need them out by, like have a bit

1210
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,920
Speaker 3: of a compromise or communication right, then we would have

1211
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:06,160
Speaker 3: been good. I think it's that the roommate didn't ask

1212
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:07,000
Speaker 3: at all.

1213
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 2: Yes, I think there I would say roommate is in

1214
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:15,320
Speaker 2: a hole, but also pee overreacted a little bit. I

1215
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 2: think that's my thing because I agree. I think absolutely

1216
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 2: the roommate should have texted yaid, hey, people are coming over. Also,

1217
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 2: I think that you know those are your cats if

1218
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 2: your cat pete.

1219
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 3: Look, animals are going to be animals, and sometimes they're

1220
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 3: not going to pee in the little box or outside

1221
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 3: whatever it may be.

1222
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 2: But like, the thing is like if you had known

1223
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 2: that people were coming over, they still would appeeded because

1224
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 2: you can't tell cats that people are coming over. I

1225
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 2: mean maybe you could take precautions against it. Yeah, but

1226
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, so it's like you can't really blame

1227
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 2: your like that they would appeed regardless. But there's a

1228
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,240
Speaker 2: little bit more this point. I'm not sure I want

1229
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 2: to keep living with them at all. I have trouble

1230
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 2: standing up for myself and lack social skills to be assertive.

1231
00:57:57,440 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 2: I am too nice with people pleasing tendencies. I did

1232
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 2: let her know before that I needed warnings for parties,

1233
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 2: but you still doesn't do that, which is not fair.

1234
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 2: I think I would do so much better if I

1235
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 2: remove myself from this environment. It would be relieving if

1236
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 2: I had a place to myself and my cats. I

1237
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 2: can completely have control over who comes over and not

1238
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 2: have to deal with inconsiderate roommates. My cats deserve a

1239
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 2: quiet home that doesn't stress them out like this. I

1240
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 2: don't want to be forced to socialize every day and

1241
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,920
Speaker 2: not be able to enjoy alone time. Thankfully, my part

1242
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 2: of the rent is really cheap, so I can probably

1243
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 2: pay it all upfront if needed, and find a place

1244
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 2: of my own. So am I overreacting for wanting to

1245
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:39,120
Speaker 2: move out? I think because what we know about and

1246
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:41,080
Speaker 2: that is the end of the story. I think, because

1247
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 2: what we know about you from this story, I think

1248
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 2: you should move out, like you would do better living alone,

1249
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 2: which is okay if that's you know, if that's the

1250
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 2: best thing for you.

1251
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 3: It's not overreacting to make choices that benefit you and

1252
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 3: are what's best for you. Like, yeah, move out, do

1253
00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:58,080
Speaker 3: your thing.

1254
00:58:58,200 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 2: If you can afford to move out, and it's not going,

1255
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 2: you know, break your least or whatever, move out. You know,

1256
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 2: it doesn't Sometimes it doesn't work out. Sometimes they're just

1257
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 2: not compatible exactly, Like I feel like there are so

1258
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,520
Speaker 2: many people who would not be able to live in

1259
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 2: this house, not like a By the way, I just

1260
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 2: like we throw We have a lot of events, you

1261
00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:17,120
Speaker 2: guys do. We like to throw parties, and if one

1262
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 2: of us didn't, that would kind of wake out exactly

1263
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 2: because they are really last minute sometimes, yeah, and we're

1264
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 2: all trouble with that. Yeah, So it really just depends on,

1265
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 2: you know, what type of people that you're living with. Yeah,

1266
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,320
Speaker 2: but yeah, that's the end of that story.