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Speaker 1: You don't know.

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Speaker 2: Confession. I can't take back o Arms.

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Speaker 3: Mouse Speaker Texas seventy five ninety two says, anytime a

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Speaker 3: brand new iPhone drops or a hot pair of sneakers,

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Speaker 3: I immediately get in line. Really not to buy them,

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Speaker 3: I just really love the social experience of standing.

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Speaker 4: Disneyland is my heaven.

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Speaker 5: No fast pass for him anywhere.

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Speaker 4: That's how you feel.

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Speaker 3: You can always get in line to be on the

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Speaker 3: mass speaker and share a juicy secret with the world

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Speaker 3: while we hide the sound of your real voice. And

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Speaker 3: today we have a woman who's reached the front of

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Speaker 3: the line and is trusting us to remain anonymous. Today

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Speaker 3: she's chosen to go by Tanya, but her real name is.

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Speaker 2: Editor.

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Speaker 4: You better bleep that one out so nobody hears that.

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Speaker 3: Mum, Suddenly, that was my bad Tanya, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, No, she doesn't have a lot.

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Speaker 5: Of trust you right now, Jeff, you got to earn

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Speaker 5: it be.

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Speaker 3: I promise it'll be believed once it goes to air.

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Speaker 3: But the voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker.

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Speaker 3: Whenever you're ready, let's hear you.

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Speaker 2: You promise, you promised. It's on, right I promise when.

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Speaker 5: He's not crossing anything that I can see.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, what's your conception?

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Speaker 2: Okay, because I am like super embarrassed. So last summer

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Speaker 2: I was visiting my parents that home, just spending a

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Speaker 2: weekend at their place, and I brought my worth control

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Speaker 2: with me.

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Speaker 1: I mean obviously, yeah, yeah, you got to stay on

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Speaker 1: that stuff.

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Speaker 4: There's lots of action at my parents' place.

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Speaker 5: Well, you can't miss it, Jeff.

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Speaker 1: It screws up everything about the action at the parents

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Speaker 1: You don't.

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Speaker 3: Think I know that, okay, right now, Okay, so very important.

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Speaker 2: But at the time there was a crazy heat wave.

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Speaker 2: It was like over one hundred degrees and my parents

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Speaker 2: house they don't have central AC and I needed a

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Speaker 2: cool place to store them. I mean, they lose their

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Speaker 2: efficacy if it's too hot.

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Speaker 5: You're that worried about your birth control.

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Speaker 1: It's always good to watch if you do the male ones,

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Speaker 1: because if it travels too long and like the heat,

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Speaker 1: it can make it defective.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Jeff, you could be pregnant.

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Speaker 5: Probably, no wonder I had two kids day. I should

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Speaker 5: put it in the.

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Speaker 2: Bridge, but that you do not. So yeah, I stuck

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Speaker 2: mine in the fridge and the next morning, my aunt

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Speaker 2: came over to stop off her homemade devil's eggs. My

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Speaker 2: aunt is super super conservative, okay, so you need to

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Speaker 2: know that.

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Speaker 1: So that's why it'd be a problem if she saw it.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna have opinions.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, from a different era, okay. And then the woman's

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Speaker 2: bringing over devil's eggs.

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Speaker 4: They're still good thoms.

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Speaker 2: So my aunt opens up the fridge and just freezes.

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Speaker 2: She turns Frances, sweetie, what are these little peusan here?

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Speaker 2: They have your name and say Sunday Monday to say them. So,

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Speaker 2: because of her belief, I didn't want to tell her

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Speaker 2: with my breast control by her.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm gonna say, you want to get like

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Speaker 3: in a big argument with her for no reason?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Well yes, so it said. I just said, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's my new probiotics for gut health. Okay, yeah, it

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Speaker 2: just came out and she goes, oh wow, I've never

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Speaker 2: seen anything like that. Okay, she said, I've actually been

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Speaker 2: having some issues lately. It's okay, I try one. Well

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Speaker 2: here's the thing. Yeah, I mean I couldn't even say

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Speaker 2: anything because she just popped the one in her mouth.

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Speaker 2: Who sorry, I.

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Speaker 1: Took your Monday sounds like answer of the age that

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Speaker 1: it's not a pregnancy scares aren't.

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Speaker 2: Probably no older. But I'm standing there thinking, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I just gave my am an active of extragen.

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Speaker 4: Okay, that's not the worst thing. It's not going to

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Speaker 4: harm her.

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Speaker 5: I feel it's like karma for her being so judgy.

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Speaker 4: You know, Jeff testosterone all the time. Yeah, waiting for

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Speaker 4: that to kick in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't feel bad about this at all.

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Speaker 2: Won't do it.

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Speaker 4: Gets worse, It gets worse.

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Speaker 2: Yes, So a few hours later, she's raving about how

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Speaker 2: her bloat is gone and she feels more emotionally frollus.

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Speaker 5: Oh, I'm sure that's the opposite effects.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: No, it makes you crazy, but maybe.

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Speaker 3: If you're already crazy, it balances you out to be normal,

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Speaker 3: kind of.

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Speaker 5: Like ADHD medications.

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Speaker 4: She comes out, She's like, I'm liberal now.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, all of it's in her mind. Obviously a placebo.

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Speaker 2: That's exactly it. I was like, this has to be

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Speaker 2: the placebo effect, or did I just accidentally stabilize my

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Speaker 2: am crazy? But before she leaves, she asked me what

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Speaker 2: the brand of probiotic is. Yeah, and she's asking where

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Speaker 2: she can buy it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, pharmacists.

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Speaker 1: At this point, you just got to say I got

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Speaker 1: it for my friend. You're so deep into.

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Speaker 4: The lie that what did you say?

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Speaker 2: You made me even so much better to mess exactly,

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Speaker 2: And I went deeper into the lie and I told

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Speaker 2: her I get them through a college discount, so I'd

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Speaker 2: have to buy them for her. And I'm hoping, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: that'll just shut her up, but no, she hands me

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Speaker 2: forty bucks.

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Speaker 5: Have you been supplying your aunt with birth control?

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Speaker 2: Now? I've been doing it for a year. Oh, every

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Speaker 2: couple of months, I sent her a package of birst

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Speaker 2: control pills that she thinks a health.

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Speaker 5: Program in ways.

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Speaker 2: Ye wait, I just need to know. Am I a

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Speaker 2: terrible person? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Just tell her that they discontinued the gut health probiotics

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Speaker 3: from that particular brand.

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Speaker 4: Okay, they put the one week.

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Speaker 5: Of sugar pills and I'm just trying to get a

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Speaker 5: full sugar pilla to really mess you up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're fine, though, Tanya. I think you're okay. You

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Speaker 3: don't have to feel bad about it.

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Speaker 2: You're not all on the same piece. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Giving anybody medication that they don't know what they're taking

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Speaker 5: is probably a.

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Speaker 3: Bad look, I take the side of our listeners, even

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Speaker 3: if it is a crime.

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Speaker 4: So texting the Seive nine too.

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Speaker 3: If you have a confession you've been holding on to,

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Speaker 3: we'll hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you

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Speaker 3: our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 4: Your phone TAP's coming up

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Speaker 5: Right after this, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.