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Speaker 1: This is the Fred Show Kelly Clarkson. He is returning

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Speaker 1: to Las Vegas in twenty twenty six for her studio

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Speaker 1: Sessions Las Vegas Residency. You can enter it now for

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Speaker 1: a chance to win a trip for two to the

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Speaker 1: July twenty fourth show, a two night hotel s day

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Speaker 1: at Flamingo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas July twenty

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Speaker 1: third through the twenty fifth, and round trip airfare. Text

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Speaker 1: breakaway to five seven, seven, three nine right now for

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Speaker 1: a chance to win. A confirmation text will be sent.

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Speaker 1: Standard message and data rates may apply. All thanks to

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Speaker 1: Live Nation.

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Speaker 2: That show is on. It's stay or go all right. Lucy, Hi, Lucy,

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Speaker 2: good morning.

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Speaker 3: Hey, good morning, Lucy.

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Speaker 1: Let's solve your problem now, just every week, every day,

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Speaker 1: just solving everybody's life problems. You know, just come to

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Speaker 1: a bunch of radio DJs. We'll fix everything. Don't you worry.

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Speaker 1: This is about your husband and your husband is not

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Speaker 1: sticking up for you.

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Speaker 2: Correct.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I love my husband, but he is not sticking up

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Speaker 5: for me when it comes to his mother and it

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Speaker 5: is causing a major issue in our relationship currently. My

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Speaker 5: mother in law is just relentless on the comments that

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Speaker 5: she makes about my parenting and like what I wear,

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Speaker 5: how I color my hair, like anything you could possibly

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Speaker 5: think of. And my husband refuses to say anything to

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Speaker 5: her and to like stick up for me, and so

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Speaker 5: I'm really struggling here.

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Speaker 1: So you go to him and you say like, hey,

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Speaker 1: your mom said this to me today, your mom did this,

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Speaker 1: your mom's critical of this, And then what does he

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Speaker 1: say to you?

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Speaker 5: He'll just say like, you know, oh, like that's just

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Speaker 5: how she is, or you know it's not a big deal,

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Speaker 5: or like he'll you and be like, well, you know,

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Speaker 5: that's my mom and I can't control her, and he

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Speaker 5: won't say anything to her at all. And so I

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Speaker 5: just feel like you should stand up for me as

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Speaker 5: your wife and the mother of your children and like

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Speaker 5: say something to your mom and tell her to knock

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Speaker 5: it off.

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Speaker 2: He's afraid of his mom. He's afraid of his Mommy.

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Speaker 1: I dated one of these, this guy, all right, So

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Speaker 1: then you guys wind up finding about it because he

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Speaker 1: doesn't want to get involved. And I mean, have you

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Speaker 1: said something to her? And not that I think that

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Speaker 1: that I think he should be saying something on your behalf,

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Speaker 1: but I mean have you said to her like hey man,

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Speaker 1: Like maybe not like that, maybe hey man like hey lady, yeah,

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Speaker 1: hey brosty, Like why you know, what's up with it?

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Speaker 1: Like do you have do you ever like clap back

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Speaker 1: at her or sort of like respond in a in

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Speaker 1: a more healthy way.

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Speaker 5: Got to keep the peace with her. I know how

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Speaker 5: she is, and I feel like that's his job to

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Speaker 5: do that. Like I feel like it's his mom. And

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Speaker 5: if it were my mom, I would, you know, totally

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Speaker 5: say something to my mom to this in town.

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Speaker 2: Has it been this way forever? Has she always treated

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Speaker 2: you this way?

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Speaker 5: Yes, but it's definitely gotten worse since we had chids,

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Speaker 5: because now she's you know, around more and constantly commenting

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Speaker 5: on my parenting and like you know, she'll even say

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Speaker 5: stuff about what the kids have on and I'm like,

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Speaker 5: come on, lady, like this is ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I guess Paulina could comment on this having in laws,

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Speaker 1: but I know your in laws are really involved and

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Speaker 1: supportive and helpful.

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Speaker 2: But eight five five five three five.

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Speaker 1: I'd love to know from the perspective of anyone who's

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Speaker 1: been through something like this, like how do you deal

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Speaker 1: with your mother in law or father in law or

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Speaker 1: whomever on the other side of the family when they're

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Speaker 1: saying things to you. I mean, you got to expect

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Speaker 1: the person whose family it is to get involved, right

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Speaker 1: because that unless, of course he agrees with her, which

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Speaker 1: is a whole different issue altogether, Like which is a

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Speaker 1: conversation that you might need to have, which like wait

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Speaker 1: a minute, So, like you won't go to her, Is

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Speaker 1: that because you think she's right? I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: we got to get to the bottom of why he

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Speaker 1: won't stand up for you first and foremost, I think, right, yeah.

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Speaker 5: I mean you just feel like we should just respective mom,

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Speaker 5: and like she won't be around forever, and like, you know,

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Speaker 5: their backhanded comments, and it's not a big deal.

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Speaker 1: Waiting for her to die. It's not a solution. So

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Speaker 1: that's not that's not gonna end. She won't be rough

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Speaker 1: for it. She only got a couple decades left to live.

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Speaker 1: I guess that's just not her do whatever. You shouldn't

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Speaker 1: have to put up with that, I mean, And also

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Speaker 1: if it's happening in your house and your kids and

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Speaker 1: your life, I mean, I definitely think there needs to

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Speaker 1: be some form of moderation. He needs to go to

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Speaker 1: her and figure out where she's coming from, what her

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Speaker 1: viewpoint is, and why on your behalf. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't think he has he doesn't have to condemn his mother,

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Speaker 1: but I definitely think he has an obligation to stand

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Speaker 1: up for you. You're you're the mother of his kids,

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Speaker 1: You're his wife, and I think that puts you first

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Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, which I know can be

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Speaker 1: hard hard with overbearing moms and overprotective and mom's son

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Speaker 1: relationships that are close. But now you're the primary lady

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Speaker 1: in his life, right.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean that's that's the problem, and so it's

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Speaker 5: causing huge fights in our marriage, and like, I don't

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Speaker 5: know how to navigate this, and I'm like, I can't

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Speaker 5: put up with this much longer. You're right, like I

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Speaker 5: can't wait around for his mom to die like this

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Speaker 5: has been saying, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, well, let me take some phone calls on this. Lucy.

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Speaker 2: I wish you the best. Thank you for sharing and

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Speaker 2: good luck.

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Speaker 5: Thank you so much. I appreciate you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, thank you eight five five five three five Sarah, Hi,

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Speaker 1: good morning, Good morning, Sarah. So stayir go and we

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Speaker 1: call it stairgo. Like I don't know if she's going

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Speaker 1: to divorce the guy, but she might. I mean, it

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Speaker 1: sounds like she's kind of at her wits end with

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Speaker 1: his mother in law who's got something to say about everything.

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Speaker 3: Uh huh. I agree. I think she should go. I mean,

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Speaker 3: she married him, she married into the family, and she's

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Speaker 3: scared of mom.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like, now are you married?

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Speaker 3: I am not married, Okay.

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Speaker 2: I was just curious.

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Speaker 3: I have a boyfriend, though, and I love his family,

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Speaker 3: and I haven't seen any problem.

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Speaker 1: So would your expectation be that he solves the problem, Like,

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Speaker 1: if there's an issue that he it's if it's his family,

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Speaker 1: he needs to manage that. Or is it ever something

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Speaker 1: where you can get involved and say something, because I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's only going to further alienate you if

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Speaker 1: you did.

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Speaker 2: But maybe.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean I would address a problem to him, but

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Speaker 3: I think he should ultimately solve it. If I wanted

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Speaker 3: to try counseling, I hope you would, you know, stand

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Speaker 3: by my side and everything like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, thank you, Sarah, Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 3: Have a good day, of course, love you guys.

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Speaker 2: I love you too. Got your cause it berg how

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Speaker 2: you say it?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: What? Uh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we only have thirteen and so thanks for reminding us.

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Speaker 1: I'm always reminded when people are like I'm playing the

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Speaker 1: show by Shelley Game for the it's seventy fourth time.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, okay, cool, we really truly only have

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Speaker 1: thirteen listeners.

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Speaker 2: It's great. What do you do in this situation?

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Speaker 1: Lucy's upset because her husband's mom is very critical of

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Speaker 1: her and her parenting, and he doesn't want to get involved.

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Speaker 1: He just sort of blows it off, like, well, that's

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Speaker 1: as she is. I can't control that. What do you think.

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Speaker 4: Well, so she's given him the opportunity to fix it,

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Speaker 4: and it sounds like he's just asked that mind. So

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Speaker 4: she's got a lot of options in my opinion, I mean,

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Speaker 4: there's you have to advocate for oneself, you know what

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Speaker 4: I'm saying. And you can be assertive without being aggressive.

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Speaker 4: And if you can't be assertive, then be aggressive.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you're can be.

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Speaker 4: Passive, aggressive, aggressive, aggressive, but try assertive. I know, for me,

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Speaker 4: when I have a family members that say like, just

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Speaker 4: crazy off to me, my first gut response, and I've

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Speaker 4: had to train myself, is I just look at some

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Speaker 4: square in the eye and I say.

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Speaker 6: That's crazy, right, That is wild.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe you said on yeah.

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Speaker 1: But my problem, my issue is if he's not, if

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Speaker 1: you don't, if you know he didn't have your back,

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Speaker 1: then you're fighting a battle with his family and he's

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Speaker 1: you know, he's not going to support you. So it's like,

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Speaker 1: I guess it would be one thing if he's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I totally agree, like let's go together and have a

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Speaker 1: conversation about this, and then you knew that he had

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Speaker 1: your back, But like, if you're going to be combative

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Speaker 1: with his mom and he's going to justify her behavior,

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Speaker 1: then I don't think I wouldn't feel very confident, you

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Speaker 1: know that that anyone's supporting me.

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Speaker 4: So I get that, and in that case, aggression is

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Speaker 4: off the table. But assertiveness can be calm and kind

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Speaker 4: and non combative.

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Speaker 2: Okay, when I hear his same is punch in the.

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Speaker 5: Face, and.

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Speaker 4: The word no can be a complete sentence, you know.

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Speaker 4: So if she just looks at her and says no

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Speaker 4: and walks away, like there's no argument you're going to

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Speaker 4: say if she comes back and gets aggressive the mother

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Speaker 4: in law, then Lucy can say no, but.

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Speaker 2: Where's the husband while they're like fist fighting, Like.

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Speaker 4: Well, that's the thing. And her husband's not going to

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Speaker 4: stand up to his mom clearing. He's proven that, so

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Speaker 4: that leaves the ball in Lucy's court. Lucy can either

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Speaker 4: choose to be treated poorly in a toxic, unhealthy relationship

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Speaker 4: with a power dynamic, or she can take back her power.

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Speaker 2: And you can do that by just standing still and

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Speaker 2: standing up.

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Speaker 4: You don't have to swing, you know, all.

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Speaker 1: Right now, ver sain't no swing? Okay, thank you, have

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Speaker 1: a good day. I'm glad you called. I mean, yeah, I.

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Speaker 2: Give him an ultimatum.

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Speaker 8: Either you are going to no, either you are going

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Speaker 8: to man up and support your wife and your children,

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Speaker 8: or you're going to be with your mother because there's

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Speaker 8: no way she can win this.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm your wife, I kind of agree with you. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you either support me or you don't.

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Speaker 1: And I hate an ultimatum, but it's like yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess what. Sorry, but I'm I'm at another level now.

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Speaker 1: You know, we made kids together, we're together for life.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm wanting on her hair color, like that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, Hey Jose, yeah, Jose, where you lived?

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Speaker 1: Who was criticizing whom? If you live?

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Speaker 5: This?

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Speaker 7: So my mother got on my wife for so many years.

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Speaker 7: I think with my wife for twenty years. We have

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Speaker 7: two boys now there are fifteen and nineteen. But my

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Speaker 7: mother would always be very rude to my wife. So

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Speaker 7: I would always tell my wife, listen, I will find

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Speaker 7: a way to tell her something. And my wife, she

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Speaker 7: she literally put up with a lot of crap from her,

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Speaker 7: and she was even at some point offered all the

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Speaker 7: money for her to walk away from the relationship just

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Speaker 7: as long as she was not with me.

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Speaker 2: Wow, So it was.

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Speaker 7: It was pretty drastic. So what I can tell her is, listen,

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Speaker 7: you need to talk to your partner and you have

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Speaker 7: to give them two choices, because that's exactly what I

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Speaker 7: was given. One. She needs to respect the fact that

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Speaker 7: you don't want to be part of his mother's life

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Speaker 7: and she doesn't need you to have to be around

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Speaker 7: for him to go see his mother. So he wants

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Speaker 7: to go see his mother, he goes along. He needs

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Speaker 7: to at least respect that, and he does not agree

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Speaker 7: with that, then he's going to have to tell his

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Speaker 7: mother the reason why you don't want to be there,

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Speaker 7: and she's going to have to put a stuff to

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Speaker 7: his mother.

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Speaker 2: How did you resolve it? Jose are you so married

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Speaker 2: or to your wife leave? We are so married.

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Speaker 7: My wife's too with me, and we just don't see

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Speaker 7: my mother anymore. It's being if I see my mother

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Speaker 7: once a Year's.

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Speaker 1: Sad because now the kids are are and who knows,

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Speaker 1: maybe that's a healthy thing if they're watching their mom

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Speaker 1: be mistreated, But that's very sad that there can't be

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Speaker 1: any kind of middle ground. And then your kids don't

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Speaker 1: get to see their grandmother because she can't play nice.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's a shame.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, it is a shame. But to be honest with you,

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Speaker 7: now that my kids are older and they understand and

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Speaker 7: they see how she is a personally that never going

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Speaker 7: to change. Yeah, yeah, person is going to have to

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Speaker 7: realize that she's never going to change. And it's about

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Speaker 7: how much do you love your partner to one give

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Speaker 7: him the chance to put up with it and try

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Speaker 7: to take action with his mother. Or two give him

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Speaker 7: the chance to let you be a part Yeah, make

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Speaker 7: you give you the chance not to be part of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, jose I'm glad you called. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: Sharon Man. You did do the right thing. Have a

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Speaker 1: good day. I would love to hear from a perspective

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Speaker 1: of a mother in this, because I'm sure it's hard,

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Speaker 1: especially moms and sons. I'm sure it's hard to watch

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Speaker 1: another woman sort of not replace you, but sort of

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Speaker 1: take that primary role that you're used to having. But

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Speaker 1: like I put this on the mother solely, Like the

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Speaker 1: mom has got to accept the change. That's what I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking she has, you know, and I don't know that

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Speaker 1: this person has the self awareness to understand that, but

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Speaker 1: like she's alienating herself, Like this is a losing proposition.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: The problem is if the son doesn't see it that way,

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Speaker 1: then I don't know is his wife ever going to

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Speaker 1: be the priority? I mean literally, his response is waiting

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Speaker 1: for her to die, right, Like, that's not that's not

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Speaker 1: a real response when you have a wife and children. Maddie,

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Speaker 1: Good morning, Maddie. Hi, what did you want to say

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Speaker 1: about this day or ago? Just recap your quickly. Lucy's

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Speaker 1: upset because her mother in law is very critical of

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Speaker 1: her and her husband is not really willing to get

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Speaker 1: involved in this.

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Speaker 6: I married this guy, my kids with this guy, and

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Speaker 6: we got divorced basically because the mother in law. And

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Speaker 6: let me tell you that mother in.

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Speaker 9: Law right now, is wearing that she is filtering some

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Speaker 9: of what she says and does believe me. And then

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Speaker 9: when you get divorced, it becomes way worse because she

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Speaker 9: drops up Hilter and you still have to put up

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Speaker 9: with him because of the kids.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I see, so now the gloves are off.

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Speaker 1: Like if you think it's bad now, then wait till

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Speaker 1: you leave her son, and then it's But I guess

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Speaker 1: your exposure to her is limited because that means you

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Speaker 1: don't have to see him.

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Speaker 9: You would think so, and it was limited some, but

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Speaker 9: you still have to deal with them, and it's way worse.

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Speaker 9: Find a way to make it work. You need to

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Speaker 9: stand up for yourself now, girl, that's the boundaries now,

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Speaker 9: because it's lose lose lose for everyone. If you get

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Speaker 9: a divorce, it does not make it better.

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Speaker 2: That's too bad, Maddie, Thanks for calling, Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 2: Have a great day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is why you got to do a full

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Speaker 1: FBI forensic CIA background on everybody in the family you're

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Speaker 1: about to enter into, because you're not just marrying one.

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Speaker 1: You're not just marrying the guy or the girl. Now

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Speaker 1: we're now I'm marrying all these psychosy Okay, so I

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Speaker 1: need to know exactly who I am dealing with. I

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Speaker 1: need we need to sit down, lie detect your tests.

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Speaker 2: I need.

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Speaker 1: I need you a room that's patted with the one

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Speaker 1: light bulb hanging down from the ceiling and the table

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Speaker 1: like I need to understand full psychological background, because apparently

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Speaker 1: you can't escape it once. Once you're in, and you

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Speaker 1: have kids, and you can't, you're never getting out of it.

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Speaker 1: We gotta know a we gotta know exactly who we're

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Speaker 1: working with.

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Speaker 2: Kiki