00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your presences presence enough. 00:00:31 Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:47 Speaker 3: Welcome to, I said, no gift. S'm Brichard Wineger A happy new Year. This is going to be out in twenty twenty two. We're recording it twenty twenty one. It's December, but you're going to be hearing it in the new year. That's that's something that you as a listener have above me as the host, and there's nothing I can do, so just enjoy that little upper hand you have on me. And I look, it's an exciting new time. It's a new me. It'll probably be somebody's year who may be yours, maybe someone you hate, but let's just get the podcast started with a delightful first guest for the new year. It's James Austin Johnson. Jay, Hello, welcome to. I said no gifts. 00:01:43 Speaker 4: I said yes, I said no guest. When I got this email, I said yes, yes, yes, And I'm so glad to be here in my own home doing this podcast with you in your home through the magic of that. 00:02:00 Speaker 3: You're in a new home when you agreed to do this podcast at the time, you were in Los Angeles. 00:02:07 Speaker 4: When you first asked me to do it. I had nothing going on except my wife was pregnant and I was struggling commercial actor with seemingly everything going for him, but just not quite enough of a margin to keep everything truly going. You know, my wife has grad school, I've got a child on the way. How will we pay for our modest rented condo. How will I keep up my lifestyle of going to the pool in Los Angeles, California every day at eleven am with my kindle and reading my kindle in a pool no one uses. How will I keep up my hard, tough, hard scrabble lifestyle. And then along came the Big Show, which we spoke before the podcast. Legally I must refer to it as the Big Show. We spoke and I'm like, I can't talk about the Big Show, and here I am talking about it, Richard. 00:03:12 Speaker 3: I have not. I want to just say I take no responsibility for you talking about the Big Show. You immediately all I said was you you were living in Los Angeles. You agreed to be on the podcast. Next thing, I know, Look we scheduled for October. Next thing, I know. You're living in New York. You're running from me. 00:03:30 Speaker 4: Oh my god, my gosh. I went from I went from a land of bandanas to a land of scarves. I went. I went from a land of sand to a land of snow. 00:03:45 Speaker 3: Look, palm trees to whatever tree. New York is famous. 00:03:49 Speaker 4: For, probably the carcass of a rat that has been flattened so many times by garbage trucks, but still clinging onto the sewer grape by its leg that it resembles a tree. As this subway exhausts, skyrockets, a. 00:04:06 Speaker 3: Little rat blanket flying in the wind. Now have you had any live rat interactions in New York? 00:04:12 Speaker 2: Yet? 00:04:13 Speaker 4: We love the rats, the rats. We love the rats because they're beautiful. And in Los Angeles, I lived in this lake. I lived in between Highland Park and El Serrano in a little area called Monterey Hills. And we were on this hilltop in this apartment complex. And every day we'd go on a walk and we'd see possums, raccoons, definitely coyotes. There were like always coyotes and crows, and coyotes would battle. We would see these like hordes of crows battling with the coyotes over I don't know. We'd see rabbits, we'd see all this. New York just has pigeons and rats. I have not seen another creature besides pigeons and rats. Maybe you'll see a different bird occasionally, but pigeons and rats. Pigeons and rats. And I love animals, and I choose to love the rats. And there are some beautiful rats. Some of them are gigantic and a wolf like, and then some of them are more of the mouse description, and I tend to prefer the smaller guys. But any sign of wildlife brings a smile to your face, does it, not. 00:05:30 Speaker 3: Just a little bit of whimsy. I mean, I had a decent amount of rat interactions in New York. I had one come out of a garbage can towards me. But I've also had rats in Los Angeles. I've had one run across my feet. 00:05:45 Speaker 4: So in Westlake. 00:05:47 Speaker 3: It was in mid city, mid city, mid city, mid city Librea, right outside the Ralphs, right across the. 00:05:55 Speaker 4: Feet inside Ralphs. 00:05:58 Speaker 3: Not inside Ralphs. Outside Ralphs. But then I ran into Ralph's. 00:06:04 Speaker 4: And you ran into Ralph's and the incredible everyday savings inside Ralphs. 00:06:09 Speaker 3: Really, I feel that you Rals has decent savings. As far as the Los Angeles grocery stores, well, Ralph's is probably the best one. Vaughn's No, no. 00:06:21 Speaker 4: No, You're paying a premium at Vaughn's and you know, I don't know what I'm getting out of it. 00:06:26 Speaker 3: No, I mean Vons has nothing to offer as far as atmosphere. 00:06:31 Speaker 4: Yeah, and even what atmosphere, I mean in a you go in anything that is Vaughn's. You go in Safeway, you go in Albertson's. When I lived in Oklahoma as a child, we had Albertson's. It's all the same thing, and you get the same yellow brown nineteen eighty nine lighting that's never bright enough, and you get the you know, they haven't changed any of this stuff, and I don't. Necessarily. Here's the problem. I don't like the store and stuff there. I'm quite partial to the Kroger brand products. Yeah that you find it food for less. I like Kroger brand stuff I trusted. I love that little blue logo. It was like Ford, So we shopped mostly at Ralphs, and then we've kind of became a whole foods. I think I entered a certain I got to a certain level with you, know. 00:07:25 Speaker 3: Like I've never met you. I have met your wife Becca, because she was running a biscuit business outside out of your condo, which has been absolutely devastating to know that that's no longer part of the Los Angeles area. 00:07:42 Speaker 4: It's and she's devastated that she can't furnish biscuits for all of the different people who would come by and get them. We were very flat that you came by, that you enjoyed them. I have been enjoying her biscuits for a long time, and she the way that she the way that my wife makes biscuits is like they're not really the kind that you get in like Portland, or when someone who's not from the South makes biscuits. She makes these ones that I'm very familiar with that like our very grandma's style. They're like crispy on the outside and very soft through the middle. They're smaller. You can enjoy multiple ones because they're smaller. Right, you actually get fatter because you're eating. 00:08:27 Speaker 3: You're eating like two sandwiches at one Yeah, exactly, yeah, she so she had started the biscuit business. I was part of the pilot program. I think I got six or eight biscuits, was eating two and maybe this is a peekin inside my life. 00:08:44 Speaker 4: That's tall. 00:08:46 Speaker 3: I was eating about two a month, spacing them out, thinking the end of this cycle, I will just go buy some more. 00:08:53 Speaker 4: And as a member of the nema's biscuits pilot program, I just want to say I never thank you enough. We were so appreciative that you submitted to being hooked up to diodes and electrodes as we monitored your enjoyment of the biscuits. I know that that final round, let's see, we took biometric data of your body as you enjoyed the biscuits. The first biscuit that you had, and I want to say the last of the batch, and both times you I just want to say, during all of the electrical charges that we pulled through your body, you were so resilient. You were so you were just present, and that's how I knew we had a special product. 00:09:35 Speaker 3: It was a few burns here and there, mild scarring. 00:09:39 Speaker 4: Look great. 00:09:40 Speaker 3: I feel better than ever Yeah, like I've you know, learned, I've kind of just figured out who I am as a person. I let go of some vanity that was probably probably had to be let go of anyway. 00:09:52 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I saw the way that you were drooling, and I was like, he isn't just going into shock, He's that's a pleasure drool. And I I will admit that I hooked up a couple dios to myself after that and gave it a spip. So we had some fun with that as in our marriage. 00:10:08 Speaker 3: But she is an excellent baker. Do you both cook at home or is it just Becca who's doing this? 00:10:13 Speaker 4: I would say that I'm the cook and Becca's the baker, which is awfully gendered and that's pretty rough. But she just I think this was more She always had that skill and that's something that she would do with her grandma and her mom. They were like pie makers. They would do it as a seasonal activity, matriarchal sort of tradition thing. And then cooking. I started watching a lot of Food Network a few years ago. I got really into Food Network and especially Chopped. I just started watching Chopped all the time, and I started picking up you know, what was happening on Chopped. Oh, here's what it is. I got really into Alton Brown good Eats, you know good Eats course show. 00:11:03 Speaker 3: Alton Brown as a personality I have to take in small doses, but the content of the program, what you're learning, fantastic. 00:11:12 Speaker 4: Alton Brown h is is such a character. He's like a like a liberal Republican Bill Nye food science uh, open micer, like like that's like who he. 00:11:29 Speaker 3: Is exactly what's going on? 00:11:32 Speaker 4: I love him. I I look forward to to being a part frankly of the Food Network family one day and meeting Alton Brown. Although Alton Brown is like he's one of the only people who like got sick of of doing Food Network, he got sick of making money, and he does whatever he wants now. I think he does like he does like live comedy shows like Henry Rawlins style. He like does he's like he does like live like the lectures where he like plays guitar and answers questions. 00:12:05 Speaker 3: Is he touring? 00:12:07 Speaker 4: I think he tours. I think he does. I have his cookbooks and he's uh, it's it's kind of fun. It adds another layer to the cooking that everything's in metric and like all of the things that he you know, that he brings to it. I watched a lot of good Eats, and I think it was having someone explained to me what cooking is on a chemical level and for me to actually hook into it and start learning it for myself, because I had never no one told me growing up. No one really tells anyone how to like what is happening when you're cooking. They just say like, no, that pant's too hot for that butter and burning the butter like like no one ever slows down. And here and and Alton Brown is one of those people who's like, Okay, you neither need to put the cold butter in the cold pan and start it up, or you need to soften the butter. And here's why. And so as soon as as soon as I had heard enough, here's why, I got enough confidence to actually do cooking myself. So I cook a lot. 00:13:10 Speaker 3: And do you feel like you're a skilled chef at this point? 00:13:14 Speaker 4: Not at all. No, I'm I'm a hobby I'm a hobby chef. There are a couple of things that I'm really good at. I'm good at a lot of like there's it's the name of a certain cuisine that is the westernized or that that is the Japanese version of Western dishes. And you can find in a lot of diners and stuff, but I make a lot of that stuff. 00:13:35 Speaker 3: Like version of a hamburger. Is that what you're. 00:13:38 Speaker 4: Saying, Yeah, hambagu steak. That's like a thing that I make that My wife likes a lot. They like hamburger steaks with like demigloss and like going. And it's like there's a lot of they sort of conflate French with British and it's like this European all at the same time, American all at the same time. Omu rice, I'm really good at it's you like you fry rice with a little with a little demigloss again and or katsu sauce or something like that, and uh make it into an omelet and yeah, a lot of omelets. 00:14:17 Speaker 3: Did Alton Brown teach you this? Or is this something separate? 00:14:21 Speaker 4: No? This is like this is me. This is so weird. It's like I was this little jerk all my life about scripted television. All my family watched was like reality shows and they did not like watching like scripted TV. And I wanted to be a comedy writer. I wanted to so I was really into Like I was like the high schooler watching Six Feet Under and trying to get everyone else at my Baptist high school to watch it with me and stuff. People are like, what's wrong with you? And uh, you know, ten years into pursuing working in comedy and acting and writing things and all that, I lost my taste for watching scripted television. Now all I watch is the reality that I used to shit on, and I think watching a bunch of Terra's House. Do you know Terra's House? 00:15:13 Speaker 3: I am familiar, but I haven't. I think I've watched like three episodes of it. It's very pleasant. 00:15:19 Speaker 4: Oh, Terra's House. I've seen. There are seasons in Terrast's House that I've watched multiple times. It's it's this very pleasant, slow burned dating show that is very popular in Japan, and so seeing some of the dishes, it's also a little bit of some lifestyle porn when you watch it, so like the meals that they make for each other and stuff. They're like these long, meaty shots of their hot pot that they put together. So yeah, I'm I'm sort of learning some some of those kind of Japanese dishes that are easy for someone from the West to pick up Japan. I haven't. I haven't. And I know that I look like a white guy who has been to Japan a bunch. I just enjoy I don't know, I enjoy Japanese TV. I don't know. We were kind of raised with it, you. 00:16:07 Speaker 3: Know, Dragon Ball. It felt like a large part of our generation's pop culture or something. 00:16:14 Speaker 4: And no, we got a lot of that Japanese stuff in the early nineties. And and so I very casually will learn Japanese here and there. I have like a little Nintendo DS game that like teaches me, oh, you're how to write the kana and stuff. But I really got into the trying to learn Japanese and watching a lot of Japanese TV when I had a lot of free time, which is so not the case anymore. But there was a time in LA where literally all I had to do was auditioned for a couple of commercials and then maybe I'd have a comedy show later that night. But it was just me and my wife and I would book a couple of commercials a year, and we'd keep going and and I spent a lot of time, just like, go to Starbucks and learn learn some more of the learn the Hiragana alphabet, and and oh and I would play like Pokemon or Zelda on a game boy, I would play like the Japanese cartridge of it. 00:17:16 Speaker 3: Oh and were you did? Did you feel proficient enough to play the games? Because those are pretty text heavy. 00:17:23 Speaker 4: They're texts heavy, but also they're like Pokemon is written for five year olds, So there's certain things like the names of the monsters that's a little difficult to like understand because they're there's they're often spelled out phonetically, and of course you're not going to understand the context of the fanatical name of a Pokemon because it's a pun. It's a pun in Japanese. So you're like, I'm not enough to understand puns in Japanese. But you understand yes, and no new game continue. You learn the word for potion. You know that heals you. You don't have a word for potion, pretty quick? 00:18:00 Speaker 3: What is the Japanese word for potion? 00:18:03 Speaker 4: Oh? Potion? 00:18:09 Speaker 3: Waste your life? 00:18:10 Speaker 4: It's been a minute. I have not no I could, I'm my Japanese is so crappy. 00:18:17 Speaker 3: Look, there's something else we we've got to get into here. Yeah, you agreed to be on the podcast in August. Yeah, I would say you're vaguely familiar with the podcast. Yeah, I said no gifts. I was so excited you were going to do it. Then, as we've talked about, you fled the state, et cetera. All that aside. Recently two boxes appeared at my house. M they're here in this bag that says it's time to celebrate, which I hate. And look, the podcast is called I said no gifts, James. Uh, is this a gift for me? 00:19:02 Speaker 4: Pri sure? I Look, you were so kind to have invited me on your show, and the very least that I could do is return that kindness. By I don't even want to say that I'm giving you a gift. This is more like I'm sharing a piece of myself with you, and I specifically, it's a piece of myself that I think you will understand me better. I think it will deepen our friendship because I think it is a little bit of a wink to who you are. So don't even think of this as a gift. Think of this as a as an object of friendly conversation. This is this is a this is a centerpiece of a moment. I wouldn't even call it a gift. You know, you don't need to be obliged to even open it. And the fact that it was gift wrapped. I specifically told Mark and Elise not to gift wrap anything that I sent to you. I screamed at my assistance for a good couple of hours when I saw that it had been gift wrapped, and of course I didn't have time to rectify the situation. I said, send it to him anyway, and so I'm sorry that it was wrapped as a gift. I didn't even mean it as a gift, quite honestly. 00:20:27 Speaker 3: Well, I'll say, when I interacted with Mark and Elise this, I think you should just know that you're screaming at them. It's just a cycle that I am. 00:20:35 Speaker 4: Now. 00:20:36 Speaker 3: You know, they're standing on my porch yelling at me, holding this gift. My neighbors are watching, and now I'm kind of I can't move out of the neighborhood, but Mark and Elise never have to show up here again, so now they've kind of cast a pall on my home. 00:20:51 Speaker 4: I'm so sorry it was was did a lease insist on smoking cigarettes and doors. 00:20:56 Speaker 3: Oh, she put it out in my hand. 00:20:59 Speaker 4: I've talked to her about that. 00:21:00 Speaker 3: See. 00:21:00 Speaker 4: I keep running into these people that think that it's nineteen seventy one they can smoke cigarettes indoors. I have so many people like that in my life now, and a Lease being one of them. And Mark. Oddly, Mark has worse breath than a Lease, And I would think that the smoker would have terrible breath. But honestly, hygienically, she's doing a good job. But Mark, I hope he didn't touch anything in your homie. It seems like he leaves a film on anything you touched, like a like a summer flug. 00:21:32 Speaker 3: I will say they both took their shoes off. I mean she was smoking the entire time, but very polite about you know. I said it, would you mind taking the shoes off the door? No problem? Yeah, So then the screaming started and yeah, but you know they're complicated. And now I've got this gift or whatever it is you've cornered me with, with this little piece of logic you've got, do you want me to open this here on the podcast? 00:22:00 Speaker 4: Yeah? I mean, honestly, I was hoping to talk to you a little bit about these things. So I was hoping to talk to you about them because I thought that you would get a kick out of them. Once again, this is not a gift, this is not a professional exchange. 00:22:25 Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna put that aside. I'm just going to open the gift and see what's happening, and then we'll decide if it's a gift or not. Well I'll decide. So here's some tissue coming out of the bag, just kind of crinkling. Another two boxes in here. There's a smaller one and a bigger one. Do you think do you have any idea which one should be open first? Doesn't matter. 00:22:46 Speaker 4: I think maybe the big one first. I want to say big one first. Got my scissor, Let's get the big one first. See when you have these things shipped, I was thinking that Mark or Elisee would have taken a part somerom the packaging and made it a little bit better for you. 00:23:10 Speaker 3: Oh and now it's actually in another bat Okay, so it isn't a gift bag inside the box which was in the car. 00:23:17 Speaker 4: I told them not to triple rap anything. I told them if they're going to wrap anything, and. 00:23:21 Speaker 3: There's like a. It looks like there's a card here as well. Should I open this thing? 00:23:25 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think we can maybe look at the card. 00:23:26 Speaker 3: Let's see what is uh Oh, let's see it, says my dear. A friend of mine and I read this book in high school at the same time to defeat sexual desire and save ourselves from marriage. Maybe all enter Heaven from James Austin Johnson. Oh my god, I can't wait to see what now. It's in like kind of a little maroon bag here. This is highly involved. 00:23:51 Speaker 4: I think you'll find that metaphorically, this actually does. This does make a lot of sense that that the packaging would be. 00:23:58 Speaker 3: So oh my god, like this bat hassle actually difficult to open. It doesn't make any sense. 00:24:05 Speaker 4: I have a box cutter right here, just reach York City. 00:24:10 Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to cut it open. 00:24:13 Speaker 4: Cut it open. Because I had trouble opening my bag. I was not able to open my bag until I was twenty five, and only only under the circumstances of a young woman targeting me and staying in my home until the wee hours of the morning multiple days in a row before I finally was with her. 00:24:38 Speaker 3: And Okay, I've made it through the bag. Okay, I've never heard of this book. It's called every Man's Battle, Winning the War on Sexual temptation, one victory at a time, one victory at a time, and there is a workbook included, and with a workbook. More than four million sold. This is the twentieth anniversary edition, so that's right kind of a you know, the cover is beautiful, tasteful. Did you read this book in high school? 00:25:08 Speaker 4: I read this book in high school and it had a different Let me see the cover real quick, if you can show that up to my screen here. It had a different cover. It had a The cover was more of a you know, white was the dominant color, with some bluish, dreamy bluish writing on the front. But I got a copy of every Man's Battle from a friend of mine, and he was much more of like a devout kind of sin conqueror than I was. Young Christians, and he, I think, felt very guilty about his sexual desires. I of course, felt guilty constantly about having developing, you know, uh, sexuality. And so we read this book at the same time. And I don't know if we discussed. 00:26:03 Speaker 3: It right, preparing modes at all. 00:26:06 Speaker 4: It would have been too hot. I think if he and I got together to discuss these things, I think we would have I think it would have been too hot. So but I remember reading it, and there are things that I read in this book that, for some reason, even after I've deprogrammed from sort of the hardcore Christianity, I used to be such an eager participant that I still these thoughts still come up, and these like things that I learned in this book still sort of like like one of the things in the book is like and by the way, it's a it's a completely like hetero normative heterosexual book. It is it is written for men to avoid looking at women. And there's a giant loophole I know, and the author also you can't help but like when you read this kind of stuff, the guy always ends up tipping his hand at what he finds sexually deals. And so this guy talks a lot about runners in the morning. So I think one of the things that he talks about is bouncing your eyes. You like learning to. Learning to is the minute that your your eyes are about to land on a juicy ass or a great set of hands, that you bounce your eyes away real quick. I remember practicing this. I remember trying to learn how to be so respectful of the women around me, do not stare. And then I grew up and I was like, oh, to everything, there is a season. 00:27:48 Speaker 3: Now you've developed a lifelong tick. 00:27:50 Speaker 4: I've developed this tick. And it's like, it's maybe not the worst thing in the world not to sexualize every single woman that crosses your path. But the assumption is that that's what you were doing. 00:28:00 Speaker 3: Something is that's just kind of this leering perfect that. 00:28:04 Speaker 4: You hear this lobotomized sort of like walking boner. And so that's these these Christian books about sexuality always like have this this really weird? Like have you ever had sex before? Like they have this really weird perspective on all this stuff, and I find it fascinating. I thought you might find it fascinating. 00:28:26 Speaker 3: Oh my god. I love the idea of me getting this book in high school and just being like, gotcha, gotcha, this is I'm on top of all of this, avoiding, way ahead of your hair, avoiding women in every possible way. This is fascinating. So you read this book with your friend? Did you do the work book? What does that even involve? 00:28:46 Speaker 4: I didn't know it came with a workbook. 00:28:47 Speaker 3: Is that maybe part of the anniversary? 00:28:50 Speaker 4: Okay? Is it a separate book? 00:28:52 Speaker 3: It looks like I'm seeing victory with your eyes. There are discussion questions in case you have a group that you meet with. 00:29:00 Speaker 4: I had heard about these groups when I was maybe thirteen or fourteen. These are like these are like porn and masturbation accountability groups that some young men thought that they needed to be a part of. I remember hearing about these. I was never a part of. When I, even at my most fervently Christian, despised Bible studies and despised I went to church because like in my family, we were part of like the political structure of the Church of the Nazarene, which is this denomination of the church similar to Methodist, but more strict and more weird, and and so we were an important family in that church. I'm like the grandson of like two important Nazarene figures. And so we went to church twice on Sunday, once on Wednesday, and then like three more times various times for various reasons. And then my whole family life revolved around at Nazarene College, and so we were always on the campus of the college. And so the thought of going to a fucking panera with eight dopes who are all talking about I saw a boob and I and I shit my pants is the last thing on this goddamned earth that I would ever have wanted to do. Even at the height of my Jesus saucity, I was like, that sounds so fucking awful. I don't want to do that. And also, I will say this, I did pretty good on my own. I did not masturbate Bridger until I had completed a year of college. 00:30:44 Speaker 3: I never want saw the book worked. You've come on here to kind of sell books. 00:30:50 Speaker 4: Yes, the book worked if what you want to work is to never experience pleasure and to associate sexual pleasure with fear intention, which I'm still like, I'm still working through that that. I of course, I kind of screwed up my sexual development to be in this very unfree, unfun zone. So it's it's weird. But my wife is from that world too, and we both left it and we it fucked her up in interesting ways too, So so we're always talking about, like, can you believe the ship that we used to do? And so it's good because both of us are in the same boat, so we have a pretty bridger. What I'm saying is, obviously we've got a baby coming. My wife and I have a very healthy sex life. 00:31:39 Speaker 3: You've had sex at least one time. 00:31:41 Speaker 4: I've had sex at least once, and I need the world to know that. 00:31:47 Speaker 3: Wait, what do you can you say? What you're naming the baby? 00:31:50 Speaker 4: Okay? So one of those grandpaus was the president of Treveca, the Nazarene college that I grew up around. So his name was doctor Homer Adams. So we're naming the baby Homer. He died in July. It was very close with ll and then we're searching for a middle name for so long and we could not think of what the middle name was going to be. And last week my grandma died, my like very like the youngest one, the life of the party, my sort of best closest friend of the grandparents, Janelle, and her maiden name's Crawford. So when she died, we were like, this is Harma Crawford. So now it's Homer Crawford Johnson. He's going to be born at ninety six, He's going to be an old man. From his first breath. 00:32:51 Speaker 3: That is somebody on a writing lawnmower. 00:32:54 Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, oh, writing lawnmower. You have no idea the images that came up immediately of who raised me. 00:33:03 Speaker 3: I'm going to open this next thing here. Yeah, it's another one of these bags which are just simply impossible to open. 00:33:11 Speaker 4: This is now, this is I didn't know that there was a work book in every Man's Battle. 00:33:18 Speaker 3: Is this a separate work book? 00:33:21 Speaker 4: Well, it's something of a fashion of a fashion, that's. 00:33:26 Speaker 3: I These bags are like military grade. I've never seen anything like this. Okay, what is this? It's a this is this should be illegal. It's like a journal that says complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation. What are we talking about. It's dangerous to tell people. I mean the pressure you're putting on a human mind, especially the male mind. I mean, this is truly your training shooters with this thing. 00:34:02 Speaker 4: Well, that's what I'm hoping. I'm hoping. I'm hoping to program you into an in cell that becomes a major major problem for the FBI. Abstinence only education is I think a bad thing, and it's a good option for the kids who want to edge edge themselves. Edging can be a fun sexual activity for anybody, but complete abstinence is it's not easier than perfect moderation. It's it's it's very complete absence is very difficult. 00:34:37 Speaker 3: Nearly an impossible, impossible mind and also literally, our bodies don't do that, it's not they are not programmed evolutionary. 00:34:49 Speaker 4: That's what evolution is is the proliferation of this the species. It's all our nerve endings telling us to fuck stuff like. That's all evolution is. And so I've given you this abstinence journal so you can work through every man's battle. You can talk about how you need to not look at women in that way, and then you can write about how many women you did not look at in your abstinence. 00:35:12 Speaker 3: Just increasingly angry thoughts in this journal, the handwriting getting messier and messier towards the end. It's just something for police evidence lockers. This will be presented in court after I've purchased the trench coat and whatever rifle or what have you strapped a bomb to myself and then they find this under some dusty blanket in my house. 00:35:38 Speaker 4: Well, it's called podcasts, and it's the new fad that's sending guns into malls as your child listening to podcasts. More on that at eleven, Did. 00:35:53 Speaker 3: You have an insane sex education in high school? 00:35:59 Speaker 4: I would say, well, okay, so I went to I went to like liberal public magnet schools all the way up until high school. So I was the only person in my family that had been given access to like Jewish people and Muslims and the liberal children of college professors and like all this stuff. So I had a pretty like diverse and challenging middle school, elementary school, middle school experience. And then when I got to high school, the academics were so piss poor. At the Baptist private high school, I had a couple really good teachers. I will say this, I had a couple really good teachers, and the fact that the school was so small, I was really able to like flourish in like the drama program because I was like, you know that my competition was like ten other people, so he gave me certain advantages. I will say, but I hated being taught Christian education by baseball coaches because that's like how Christian high school's run is, Like the baseball coach is out ranks any other teacher because like we really need to lift up the baseball program, Like that's really what's going on. 00:37:21 Speaker 3: This is a I mean, you taught public schooling. This is exactly what I dealt with. 00:37:25 Speaker 4: This is what you dealt with. So I just remember, we didn't. We didn't really. I think. I think they would have talked from a Christian perspective about sex in the middle school that I did not attend at this private school. So so by then it was all open and you know, go to worship service and you praise God and you talk about how good a Christian you are, and then you go to lunch and everyone's talking about all the crazy sexual stuff that they did that week and the whole double life thing that everyone leads in that environment. So it just felt felt like it wasn't really that serious. 00:38:08 Speaker 3: Right. Meanwhile, you were like in the corner with every man's battle. 00:38:11 Speaker 4: I was not dating people on purpose, Bridger. It was on purpose that women would not come near me. 00:38:19 Speaker 3: This is fully unrelated. But did you go see the new pornographers? I did you because you posted about them on Instagram. You had an extra ticket, and I thought he must have gone through his entire list of friends and they've all said no to this. He's now advertising this on Instagram. 00:38:36 Speaker 4: Well it's I put I didn't know how to do it on the close friends thing, and I posted it on the general thing and I deleted it immediately because I forgot that there was a way to make it just like a select group of people. So then I posted it to the close friends thing and I was like, okay, one am I so a friend of mine I've forgotten? Like, I don't know who lives in New York. That's the other thing, right, you're new. I'm new to New York, so I don't know which of my friends have moved there in the last year or two or something. So I was like hoping to see if someone would go with me, and eventually the director, Stephen Fine arts. 00:39:14 Speaker 3: Oh beautiful. Yeah. In that moment, I felt an enormous empathy for you. But I'm glad it worked out. Was it a good show? 00:39:24 Speaker 4: It was a great show. They played the album Twin Cinema all the way through, like the anniversary of Twin Cinema, so I love that record. It was a really good show. Someone told me that it's fun to go to concerts by yourself, and I still haven't I can't compute that I always have to go with someone. But one of these days, I'm just going to start going to concerts by myself. 00:39:48 Speaker 3: Oh it's fantastic. It's so low pressure, you know, it's I still i'll go with people, but there's something about going with other people to a concert. There's you're not really enjoying it to together really, and there's so much pressure to be like, if you're bored, you still have to stick around and you're there, you can't really talk to each other, and when you do, you're kind of just faking it. There's just kind of the like glancing at each other throughout the show that's so uncomfortable. Yeah, I love going alone. I mean I can't remember the last show I went to alone. But it's the same with movies and that sort of thing. 00:40:22 Speaker 4: It's I do like movies alone, and I have gone to plenty of movies alone and it is it's great. I mean I saw Dune by myself and IMAX, and I had such a good time. I always like the movie more. 00:40:36 Speaker 3: Oh, of course, because you're not worrying about anyone's feelings exactly. 00:40:40 Speaker 4: I saw a Kingdom of the Crystal Skull by myself and had a great time. Like lots of movies that people consider like the worst movies of all time, I saw by myself and I was like, that was great because I just went in to enjoy a movie, like at noon on a Saturday. It's movies are nice. It's a nice activity, just. 00:41:01 Speaker 3: A pleasant thing. And I feel like the Crystal Skull movie, by the way, big take for me, I think it's absolutely I remember being fine. I mean, I feel like there were giant ants that take over a car or something. But look, these movies are all insane exactly. 00:41:17 Speaker 4: Yeah, they're for children. 00:41:19 Speaker 3: They are for children. 00:41:22 Speaker 4: Should go in know, and it's for kids. 00:41:24 Speaker 3: You're not going to be getting any deep looks into humanity. Someone will. There'll probably be an alien involved or some sort of supernatural thing. And it's right, and that's why it's exciting, right right. Okay, I think we should play a game. 00:41:40 Speaker 4: I would love to. 00:41:40 Speaker 3: We're gonna play a game called Gift Master, and I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:41:47 Speaker 4: Three. 00:41:48 Speaker 3: Okay, I have to do some light calculating. So while I'm doing this, you can recommend something, you can promote something, you can do whatever you want. I'll be right back. 00:41:58 Speaker 4: Well, I'm on the Big Show. It's on NBC and coming to Comedy Central in twenty twenty two. I'm a voice on a little cartoon called fair View, and I actually do a lot of voices on their show. And it's poopoo peepee humor, it's sexual humor. It's not for children, even though it's a cartoon. I don't know what's going on these days. People say, Hey, I'm going to make a cartoon. When are you going to show it Saturday morning for all the children. No, I'm going to show it late at night for all the adults. Okay, And you said it's a cartoon, So I'm on one of those, and you can check that out. My cartoon work just keeps growing and growing, you know. And a couple of voices in the new season of squid Billies and Tuca and Birdie on Adult Swim. So look for that stuff. 00:42:54 Speaker 3: Perfect. Look at all of the things you've presented people with, probably enough to confuse them, and now they're not gonna be able to enjoy any of it. They're going to have to go back. Take a note. Whatever this is. This is gift mester James. I'm gonna name three potential gifts you can give away, and I'm going to name three celebrities who you can give them to. Okay, so you're gonna tell me which gift you're gonna give which celebrity and why does that make sense? 00:43:21 Speaker 4: Yeah? 00:43:22 Speaker 3: Okay, the three gifts you'll be giving today. One of them is echo location, so the ability to kind of use sound to know where you are in the World's kind of a dolphin esque bat style echo location. Number two is razor sharp teeth, so that's also kind of an experience based gift. And number three is a nonstick pan, so a little bit more you know, something they can just throw under the oven and use when they need to cook. Here are the people you'll be giving them to. Number one, she's up and coming, she's in everything. It's Beanie Feldstein, Beanie Feldstein. Yeah. Number two, Oh, it's Lou Bega. Okay, so he hasn't been on the scene for a minute. And then finally, well. 00:44:13 Speaker 4: I understand mambo number five. If I haven't seen Mambo's one through. 00:44:16 Speaker 3: Four, absolutely not. You will be so in the weeds with that song. It'll send you into a frenzy. Number three, everybody loves this person. I think I could be wrong. Frank Langella Franklin Jella from The Gift? 00:44:36 Speaker 4: Right, was that the name of the movie The Gift or. 00:44:37 Speaker 3: The Box the Wait? Was that the one with Cameron Diaz where it was like an evil box that like open and someone would die or something. 00:44:46 Speaker 4: I think so, And that was what he did right after I think Frost Nixon. 00:44:50 Speaker 3: Right, excellent follow up, I mean, the perfect, one of the best. 00:44:56 Speaker 4: One of the best. Okay, So, Franklin Jella, you know, I don't. I don't know a lot about frank He's a great guy, and I know he's like super talented, and I'm a character actor as well, and I know we would probably be able to hook into a good conversation by getting into maybe you know, the Meisner technique or Stanislavski or Chekhov or something, you know, stuff that actors like to talk about. Beanie I believe is Jonah Hill's sister. She is, She's done some Broadway and she's you know, she's sort of like a comedy, like big, big studios comedies, although we don't have big studio comedies anymore. Now we have stuff like American Crime Story, impeachment which has taken the place of comedy. But really it's what I guess we would call it light drama. 00:45:53 Speaker 3: Light drama, just drama with a you know, like a fun spin drama with. 00:45:58 Speaker 4: A rye sort of smooth smile. And then so she's been doing that stuff. And then the second one was lou Bega, who I'm very familiar with who lou Bega is from, you know, a Disney interstitial I saw one time, and his famous song about all the women that he's fucked. So the nonstick pan is one of those things where it's like I feel first that I should give the nonstick pan too. This is like something that you give someone who's new to like New York City or something right that I'm not saying that Beanie Feldstein is new to New York City, but maybe she's getting you know, she's coming up in the world. Maybe she's getting her own Williamsburg a parchment, and she's moving out of like her roommate situations. She's getting her own place, and she's never owned her own nonstick and before she's always used her girlfriends, her her cool best friends one you know, her roommate's boyfriend's non stickpan. So here she is living all alone. I think I might give her a non stick pans as her career goes up. Now that said a young woman lost in New York City, wouldn't Echo location be a perfect gift to give her? 00:47:23 Speaker 3: I feel like Echo location in New York you were in absolute hell. 00:47:28 Speaker 4: You don't think the clicking. You don't think clicking would help you know how high a curb might be. 00:47:34 Speaker 3: Or I guess if you're lost in a subway tunnel, like making your way through the sewer system, that would. 00:47:43 Speaker 4: Be all perfect. The last thing I saw of Lou Bega was he was on Polish TV. This is somebody posted this on Twitter that Lou Bega was singing Mambo number five on Polish State TV at a celebrate of like the Polish independence or something like that, or some sort of like liberation action thing. So there's like a camera panning past a fighter jet to Lou Bega standing in front of like female dancers in like pseudo military theatrical garb, and they're. 00:48:21 Speaker 3: Held against his will by the Polish state. 00:48:25 Speaker 4: Yeah, he's He's being held by a castellanbuh in uh in Poland. So I think lou bega. He's lost in Eastern Europe. He doesn't know how to get back. He's he's eaten so many perogis that he just wants to curl up and fall asleep. But it's a cold, windy, frigid, rainy area. I think that the echolocation parogis are soft enough that I think that echo location is what he needs, not the razor sharp teeth. 00:48:58 Speaker 3: I feel like there's plenty of ocean eastern Europe, so, you know, dietary wise, he's. 00:49:03 Speaker 4: Fun overcooked cabbage and these kinds of things, so sauerkraut. And I think that the echo location will help him because if he gets lost on his way back to the airport, he may need to use his clicking, you know, to find his way through. 00:49:21 Speaker 3: The woods, right, I will, and also think of using that clicking to find your way from like from Monica to Jessica or what have you. 00:49:29 Speaker 4: Oh, of course, yeah, he needs both of them in his life, and the echo location could really help him make that happen. Hey, by the way, how big is this guy's bed? Bridger? I count thirty thirty women in this song. I mean, this must be this, that must be a wider screen than one of those anamorphic lens shots from a Wes Anderson movie or some know what I mean. God is this is fun. He goes into the contacts in his phone, and his phone says, I quit the casual podcast listener can't hear this, but I leaned into the lens and gave a face. 00:50:10 Speaker 3: Like what But I could feel that through the audio. 00:50:13 Speaker 4: Which of course leaves razors sharp teeth for Franklin Agela. This is a man who's getting older, and we all know that our bodies fail in all these weird sorts of ways as we get older. And I'm guessing that frank Langella, who's a very large man, maybe a burly man, I bet he enjoys a nice steak every once in a while. And if his career were to really take a downturn, if some of his investments didn't pan out, and he's going from eating wag u to moving down to a top round to a chuck through a chuck steaks very grizzly cut, he might want that razor sharp teeth because Franklin, I mean, he's not as in the spotlight anymore, but he doesn't quite have the time to braize a smaller cut, like a worse cut of meat for hours and like a bergun Yon kind of preparation. So I think he needs the razor sharp teeth to cut through that that chuck stack. 00:51:23 Speaker 3: At this point, he only has the time to eat it out of a bowl like a dog. So you're saying the point in his career that he's not using a fork or knife anymore. He's eating meat meat just straight off the table, or it's being thrown through the air and he catches it in his jaws. 00:51:43 Speaker 4: Yeah, Franklin Jella is like, Uh, he's tied up in Ron Howard's basement or something like that. He's got a dog thing. I wouldn't be surprised if Franklin Jella had a dog thing. 00:51:56 Speaker 3: He has always given me kind of a Dracula vibe or something. There's something line where I can see him kind of in a manner or like a you know, a shadowy of state. Yeah, those teeth, I think that would work perfectly. 00:52:11 Speaker 4: He lives in a shadowy of state and he's got razor sharp teeth. But I do think that there's a warmth there that in the third act we could reveal that he's merely just a lonely and misunderstood person who needed to be shown affection from the protagonist uh to to brighten up and for the entire perspective to shift. Allah the pigeon lady from home alone, Allah the shovel man from home alone one. Are these the only examples I can think of a role like this? Yes, but there's more of them? Is there anybody with a with razor sharp teeth? Is there like a horror character whose thing is the sharp teeth? 00:52:53 Speaker 3: I'm just picturing Mortal Kombat characters. 00:52:56 Speaker 4: Yeah, riff Raff. When riff Raff has a grill in that's sharp enough, he has like sharp teeth. 00:53:05 Speaker 3: I think that that's excellently played. I think that you really, I do it. Beanie seems like somebody who could absolutely use a non stick pan, maybe a new iron and ironing board. You know, empty condo that was so beautiful, but she forgot to get anything, and she doesn't want to make it. 00:53:22 Speaker 4: Want to take Beanie Feldstein to bed, bath and beyond o? Bad? 00:53:31 Speaker 3: Okay, We've got to answer a listener question. This is called I said no emails people right into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. Different questions problems this sort of thing, and then I help them, the guest helps them. I rarely receive a thank you will you help me answer a question? 00:53:53 Speaker 4: You know, the thought of someone being so discourteous as to not send a thank you card their question is read on a podcast makes my blood boil. But I think if I do some breathing exercises over the next thirty seconds, I think I'll be able to come down enough. 00:54:13 Speaker 3: Okay, you breathed while I read this question, It says deer Bridger and yet another disobedient guest, so they've kind of just they're going at it from the very beginning. It says, I need some help getting my dentist's office a gift, So the entire dentist office. You see, I was terrified of the dentist for so long that I finally had to go in when I had a serious infection. Luckily for me, I ended up at the nicest office and they helped me through my year long dental journey back to health. My doctor dealt with some big sobbing in the beginning, but was sweet and encouraging the whole way through, and the hygienist and front desk were so accommodating as well. This is starting to feel like a Yelp review. Let's see. I'd love to get them a gift as a thank you, but not quite sure what's appropriate. Normally i'd get some sort of sweet treat, but I feel is wrong to send cookies to the dentist. Okay, I'd just like to make a small gesture that I appreciate all their help throughout the last year. Thanks for all your insights, Sarah. There's some decent amount of assumptions here that they're going to be multiple insights this kind of thing. But first of all, Sarah, you're talking to the wrong person. I've had a year of dental hell. The last thing I want to do is buy my dentist office a gift. But we're going to try to think about your situation, your huge infection, your dental problems, and the way they've gotten you out of it. What do we get this person, what do we get this office? 00:55:41 Speaker 4: Well, I know with a dentist office, you know, I think about what a dentist office needs. They've got the newsweeks that look like they've been peed on. They've got the highlights, magazines, the national geographics. My first thought was a couple of subscriptions to some to a higher upper crust of magazine, A New Yorker, a Harper's, Harper's, Harper's Bizarre, The Economist, the Atlantic, Hell, the National Review, give a little bone to the angry dad. Who's there is a young teenage daughter who keeps crowing on and on about how she wants to read the latest socialist essay and team Vogue. So my first thought is subscriptions, just to sort of pad out that waiting room. And I got the last thing that the front and desk gal wants to think about, that that the dental hygienist wants to think about that, the dentist wants to think about who. 00:56:44 Speaker 3: Is at a dentist office making these big calls on magazine subscriptions. I've never thought about that. Is it the dentist or is it the office manager or the her receptionist. So the collaboration, I think of it as the it's whoever the the what's Pete butt of Judge's husband's name, Dave, Dave, I don't know his name, Chastin, Chastin, Chastin or Chastity. 00:57:13 Speaker 4: I'm immediately thinking of like a Pete butter jedge style dentist and his his sort of posh husband. I think of a Chastin Butta judge or I don't know what Chast's last name is, buying the magazine subscriptions for the for the dentist's office. I think of it as like a spousal obligation. 00:57:38 Speaker 3: Well, that's interesting, that makes sense to me. Actually, like your dentist spouse has launched their business and you think, oh, what a fun treat for my spouse. I'm going to subscribe to a variety of magazines. Yeah, yeah, I think magazine. It really is just about thinking about what your dream dentist office. This person, the Sarah person, is in the perfect position to improve her situation and make it seem like something that came from her heart. So pick your favorite magazine, maybe buy a fish for the fish tanks, or buy just a fish, and then the dentist office is suddenly on the hook for buying an entire tank. 00:58:19 Speaker 4: Or a full aquarium with no fish in it, and leave the propagation of the fish community to that. 00:58:29 Speaker 3: And if they don't buy the fish, suddenly it's filling with algae. It's this filthy tank of water that's kind of driving customers away. 00:58:37 Speaker 4: Yeah, do you uh, do you ever play animal crossing? 00:58:41 Speaker 3: I've never gotten into animal crossing. It feels like it should be exactly the game for me because I loved Harvest Moon, I loved the sims. But I think there's something about the absolute lack of goals and animal crossing that. 00:58:57 Speaker 4: Well, there's not quite an outla have goals. And I will say that the new expansion they have you designing homes for other people's vacations. So you have these assignments and stuff. But when you give a gift, so so much of animal crossing is about becoming good enough friends with your little penguin villager, your little bowl villager that you get to the point that you can give them gifts. And you give them gifts every day, and you can very cynically do this by just digging up a fossil and wrapping that in wrapping paper. They love fossils. They flip the fuck out for fossils. My favorite thing about giving gifts and animal crossing is when you give your little villager a gift, they will they will display it in their home. They will either display it in their home or they will immediately put it on. If you gave them a track suit, they will put on the track suit almost immediately. If you give them a like a snow globe, you will see the snow globe displayed in their home. It might be put on the floor next to the stove because it's a video game and it thinks like a computer. But you go in and you go like, oh, there's the board game I gave Rodeo. Rodeo put the board game I gave him on a shelf behind his Bed's that's good. Oh look at that. It seems like Lucky really enjoyed the candlestick I gave him and he put it on the floor in front of the toilet. That's really well. 01:00:37 Speaker 3: That I mean, that is the power of giving gifts, is you put people in strange positions. And the Sarah person has the whole dentist office that she can hold hostage. Send them all tracksuits and snow globes. 01:00:51 Speaker 4: Yeah, put a piece of yourself into it. That's why I brought up the animal crossing Sarah. As you can, you could pretty much rest assured that that dentist office is going to prominently display the gift you give them. 01:01:03 Speaker 3: Right and if they don't, you can make them feel extraordinarily guilty. Where's the snow globe? I know it's jew and. 01:01:14 Speaker 4: I would get I would get a friend. You know, I know some friends who do commissioned portrait work. I would get a friend together to get together like an oil painting or a watercolor of you, of of this young woman, Sarah. Sarah, get a portrait of Sarah and give that to the dentist's office and maybe they'll put it up. 01:01:37 Speaker 3: Or send individual desk size photos of yourself to every member of the office so it's on every desk throughout the dentist office. 01:01:45 Speaker 4: Frame them yourself so that there can be no recourse to not putting it up on your on your little desk. 01:01:54 Speaker 3: I mean, what more could Sarah ask for? 01:01:57 Speaker 4: Yeah? 01:01:57 Speaker 3: What more could this dentist office ask for? 01:02:00 Speaker 4: She wants to be a part of dental history, and this is a moment to be a part of that. 01:02:07 Speaker 3: She's gone from absolutely avoiding the dental industry to potentially placing herself in a kind of smothering position on this office. She's having a hard time modulating her relationship with the dentist's office and with dentists in general, is what the feeling I'm getting. 01:02:25 Speaker 4: Yeah, she's she doesn't really know where the line is. 01:02:29 Speaker 3: No, she goes from like completely infected mouth rotting gums. I can only assume half half of her teeth left to now sending track suits, snow globes, photos of herself, a painting. 01:02:44 Speaker 4: A subscription to Harper's. 01:02:46 Speaker 3: Yes with address to her just with the dentist's office address, which is very confusing for everyone. Looks like the magazines are stolen all of the you know the dentist is it's not a client a customer, what are you patient? The patients are deeply confused. 01:03:04 Speaker 4: I'm reading the Harper's Bizarre. I'm like taking the little perfume sample out of it and putting in my purse. And I'm asking the front desk woman, does a woman named Sarah live here? Who does someone sleep here? This looks like it's a residential sort of subscription to a magazine. Of course, Sarah crawls out from under one of the hard plastic chairs. 01:03:27 Speaker 3: And said, you rang, She's just turned the dentist office into her kingdom. Were kingdom of slime and Harper's. 01:03:38 Speaker 4: Oh, she lives in a weird rat's nest of Harper's Bizarre and Highlights magazine. There's saliva. She's formed them into Crewe bricks. 01:03:53 Speaker 3: Sarah, take all of this information, don't leave any of it out. You've got to just follow this to a t Otherwise that are probably going to delete your records and then you're going to be off in the dental wilderness again. Your mouth can't handle another infection, James, I know, am so prepared to relapse into, you know, my life of I'm just going to reclaim my virginity. Yeah, I've got I'm going to go for a life of complete abstinence. 01:04:27 Speaker 4: Now, now let me ask you a question, because you may already be there, because I'm to understand your home sexual and of course home sexual sexuality does not count because because as we know, only the only sex that is true is reproductive, and so am I to understand that you truly are ahead of heterosexual version. 01:04:52 Speaker 3: I'm not. So, I'm I've got There's nothing i can do. I've got to I can't recollect. I've got to claim. 01:05:01 Speaker 4: You've got to reclaim. Okay, I thought maybe we had a I thought maybe. 01:05:06 Speaker 3: We had It would have been so easy. I could have just started back to. 01:05:11 Speaker 4: Yeah, you already been there, you already had figured out. 01:05:15 Speaker 3: As far as this book is concerned, I'm already on my way to heaven. Uh or I would have been. 01:05:22 Speaker 4: But I think I think you're going to heaven. 01:05:25 Speaker 3: I feel like I can turn this thing around. 01:05:28 Speaker 4: I have a sense about these things. I think I think you're going to have it. 01:05:32 Speaker 3: Thank you so much to be told I'm going to heaven over zoom. What could be better, Fridger, you are going to heaven. 01:05:44 Speaker 4: Look in my webcam. You are going to heaven. 01:05:48 Speaker 3: What a fun thing to say to someone as you're killing them. James, thank you so much. This was wonderful. 01:05:57 Speaker 4: Ah, FREGI this is got to be in the top three podcast appearances that I've been able to right and two for us to truly have gotten to know each other through the podcast. I think is a god thing, and it's a God thing. There's no other way I can say it. 01:06:18 Speaker 3: There's no I mean, it's beautiful. It's beautiful, and I feel so close to you right now. 01:06:23 Speaker 4: I feel close to you. 01:06:24 Speaker 3: And listener, this is the end of the podcast, and I hope you've taken some lesson from all of this. I hope that you're I mean, I hope that you're not on Amazon now buying the book. I hope you were on it a half hour ago as soon as you heard the title of the book. Otherwise you're not serious about reclaiming your abstinence. So please get the journal, get the books. It's never too late until you're in hell. That point, there's no turning back. So I'm going to let you go from the podcast, and I hope you have a wonderful week and happy New Year. Here we are, I love you, Bye bye. I said No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend ann Lise Nelson, and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I Said No Gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to Midrool dot com slash ads. 01:07:51 Speaker 1: Hell invit, did you hear? Funa man myself perfectly clear, I guess to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guest, your presence is presence enough. 01:08:13 Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?