Speaker 1: Can you tell the coffee's kicking in? The coffee's kicking in?
Speaker 2: Wait, did they do you write a Duncan donuts?
Speaker 3: Finally, finally, the Double D took care of my Double
Speaker 3: D's honey, am.
Speaker 1: Come on, My eyes are up here, My eyes are
Speaker 1: up here. What's up? Everybody? Welcome to the Adulting Podcast.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna show you toe with my homeboy Jordan Carlos,
Speaker 3: and we have an amazing episode for you. When do
Speaker 3: we fucking don't bitch? You gotta love this episode so much.
Speaker 3: It's inspirational. It's black girl magic, it's black boy joy.
Speaker 3: I mean, you want no gift for seats with this
Speaker 3: episode because you do not want to take it back.
Speaker 1: You want to take it black and share it with
Speaker 1: your friends. Motherfucker.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 2: Usually like Jordan and I will, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Listen to the episode before it hits y'all, and I
Speaker 3: was like, let's just not do that and see what happens.
Speaker 3: It'll be dangerous, dangerous.
Speaker 2: It's very dangerous.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: It's weird, Like hearing yourself talk and laugh at something
Speaker 3: feels like you're looking in a mirror watching yourself take
Speaker 3: a shit.
Speaker 1: It feels good. You don't need to see it or
Speaker 1: hear it. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Everyone, of course you did, did you ever, like when
Speaker 3: you were little? Try to watch yourself take a shit,
Speaker 3: like have it come out of your your buttthole?
Speaker 6: Wait a minute, you're trying to get a consensus on this. No, hey, everybody,
Speaker 6: we all be ere. We want to hate it? How
Speaker 6: to do to come out?
Speaker 5: Were you do this?
Speaker 2: With a series of mirrors? Like how did you do this?
Speaker 3: I think at one point like no, I had a
Speaker 3: selfie stick in the eighties.
Speaker 1: Why am I doing this?
Speaker 2: Oh, caffeine, I don't know, but I love you for it.
Speaker 3: I would be sitting on the toilet and then I
Speaker 3: would like look down to see it come out. So
Speaker 3: I'm like, this is fascinating. Stuff is coming out of
Speaker 3: our bodies and we just have to say goodbye to it.
Speaker 6: All, Like soft serve? Do you still do you take
Speaker 6: a look back in the rear view always?
Speaker 1: I made it. Really, I want to see what kind
Speaker 1: of day I've had.
Speaker 6: If it sounds like a boot stuck in mud, then
Speaker 6: I will like look back.
Speaker 5: But if it.
Speaker 3: Doesn't, the fuck does a boot bud sound?
Speaker 1: My friend said it that for us? Motherfuck it your rockets.
Speaker 3: See inside, dooty dooty.
Speaker 1: Bitch, What the fuck this is silly.
Speaker 6: Let's say you step in mud with a boot and
Speaker 6: it's like, you know, like that kind of sound when
Speaker 6: you're trying to pull your boot out of the mud.
Speaker 3: Okay, nuts, It's like, oh, and you kept going. You
Speaker 3: asked me, that's true. You asked that's true. I thought
Speaker 3: we were done with it. So is that a good
Speaker 3: sound or a bad sound?
Speaker 6: It's not a great sound. If it sounds like an
Speaker 6: engine gone bad or like a rugagagaga gug, then I
Speaker 6: have to have to investigate. Oh okay, then I'm like,
Speaker 6: where are my glasses?
Speaker 5: Oh boy?
Speaker 1: Oh no?
Speaker 3: Have you ever had to do that thing at doctor's
Speaker 3: appointments where you had to like swab your fecal matter.
Speaker 6: I've not had to swab my fecal matter. Again, this
Speaker 6: consensus is wild.
Speaker 5: Whoa I have not?
Speaker 2: We've been from.
Speaker 6: I will say that I was gonna. I will say
Speaker 6: I was gonna go in for my first colonoscopy, but
Speaker 6: I'm such a dork that I went in a year
Speaker 6: early and the guy was like, you're too early for
Speaker 6: your klonoscopy, And I was like like cancer is gonna
Speaker 6: wait and be like, I'm sorry, you're forty four. Yeah,
Speaker 6: come back when you're forty five. I just wanted to
Speaker 6: get it over with. That's a long process. So then
Speaker 6: I think I'll have my chance to swab my butt.
Speaker 6: I'm ready, I'm ready. Yeah, Yeah, I checked all the holes.
Speaker 1: I did it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you checked all the holes, checked all the boxes.
Speaker 1: I see what you did there. I had to.
Speaker 3: Swab my fecal matter when I was eighteen because I
Speaker 3: was severely anemic, and so I had to check a
Speaker 3: lot of stuff.
Speaker 1: They had to like check my bone density.
Speaker 3: It was wild, and I feel like, yeah, I feel
Speaker 3: like if we don't talk about in eighteen, I had
Speaker 3: no one to talk about it with.
Speaker 1: I'm in my mid forties.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to talk about it, but people don't want
Speaker 3: to talk about what's going on with their bodies.
Speaker 1: And I feel like this is why.
Speaker 3: We don't go to the doctor, or we're embarrassed to
Speaker 3: even like have a conversation with the doctor. And I
Speaker 3: think we have so many choices of doctors. Now, you
Speaker 3: go to zoc Doc. Not that they promote the show,
Speaker 3: but I really enjoy them as sort of like a
Speaker 3: yelp for doctors because then you can sort of see
Speaker 3: what people have said about them, their bedside manner, and
Speaker 3: like their availability because back in the day, you just
Speaker 3: had the one doctor in the town.
Speaker 1: Everybody went to that doctor. Oh yes, it didn't matter
Speaker 1: if they were good or bad. It was just the
Speaker 1: one doctor.
Speaker 3: So it's nice, I think for me, I definitely only
Speaker 3: want to I don't know if this is legal to say,
Speaker 3: but fuck it, I only want to see women of
Speaker 3: color that are doctors period.
Speaker 6: I definitely co sign that, especially because my mother had
Speaker 6: a situation last year where she was I'm going to
Speaker 6: just share this. She had an anomaly in her breast
Speaker 6: and it was like, what is that an anomaly meaning
Speaker 6: just like a cancerous growth? Okay, basically it was within
Speaker 6: her milk duct and that had to be removed, but
Speaker 6: it was like at level zero, which we were very
Speaker 6: lucky about a hand un spread throughout her body, and
Speaker 6: then they wanted to do some chemotherapy after just to
Speaker 6: make sure that it didn't return, and the drug that
Speaker 6: they wanted to give her it was found to sometimes
Speaker 6: affect the uterus, and so my dad she was just
Speaker 6: lucky that my dad was there.
Speaker 2: My dad was advocating for her the whole time.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they give her some answer that was not like
Speaker 6: he'd hear it relayed, and he was like, I think
Speaker 6: I need to come in with you, and so he
Speaker 6: was basically like her lawyer. Yeah, because she's this older
Speaker 6: black woman and her first doctor was just missing some
Speaker 6: of her symptoms and things like that, and my dad
Speaker 6: just came in there and was like, Hi, I used
Speaker 6: to run this hospital. Then they're like and tucked in
Speaker 6: their shirt, and she got the.
Speaker 2: Best care possible.
Speaker 1: How many people have that?
Speaker 2: Just one out of one basically, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am so glad your dad was there for her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm really sorry that that happened, but I'm
Speaker 3: really glad that he was there for her because that
Speaker 3: is rare. And they are American, and I think about
Speaker 3: my Haitian aunt and my Jamaican uncles who always want
Speaker 3: to make a joke about something and don't want to
Speaker 3: talk about anything serious. Definitely don't understand anything, Definitely don't
Speaker 3: want to sound stupid, definitely don't even want to follow up.
Speaker 3: And the ones that do want to follow up, they
Speaker 3: are dismissed and they try to upsell you on stuff
Speaker 3: and it's like, dude, we're not buying a car here,
Speaker 3: take advantage of me somewhere else.
Speaker 1: This is my body, do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: this is my body.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 3: And So, while I don't want to pooh pooh on
Speaker 3: obviously doctors and nurses, I think America is a really
Speaker 3: big country, and we don't have just one way of thinking.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: The one way of thinking really is just like get
Speaker 1: it paid.
Speaker 3: And I wish we just you know, we're more thoughtful
Speaker 3: and nuanced when it came to the talk that you
Speaker 3: have to have between doctor and patient.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 6: And that's one thing I've always like admired about my
Speaker 6: dad is just that he takes the time to really
Speaker 6: sit down with his patients and explain things or like
Speaker 6: hash things out with health problems that his kids have,
Speaker 6: or like walking us through so much, walking us through
Speaker 6: the whole gestation process pregnancy. You know, I'm on the
Speaker 6: phone with him in the hospital as my kids are
Speaker 6: being born. Yeah, you know, just to have that and
Speaker 6: to dispel any uncertainty. Right, He's like just that guy.
Speaker 6: He's just right there in your ear and making it
Speaker 6: a much more painless process.
Speaker 5: And he does it.
Speaker 6: I think like, I'm very fortunate that my dad does
Speaker 6: it because he believes in something bigger than himself.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 6: He just believes in health, and he believes in good
Speaker 6: health and making sure that everyone at least that is
Speaker 6: affected by him or in his radius, gets the best
Speaker 6: of his knowledge and he doesn't hoard it.
Speaker 3: He's a hero. That's his gift to the world. He understand.
Speaker 6: I hear you though, when it comes to wanting female
Speaker 6: folks of color to look at you in your body,
Speaker 6: because yes, you need someone that's advocating for you and
Speaker 6: understands what you're going through because all too often black
Speaker 6: women not only die in pregnancy, but also wait till
Speaker 6: the goddamn end if they're suffering from breast cancer.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I think the funny version of it is when
Speaker 3: Earthquake or a hilarious comedian that has a special on
Speaker 3: a Netflix or Pat Brown also a hilarious comedian that's
Speaker 3: been a Colbert, they had a great bit about the
Speaker 3: same thing.
Speaker 1: It's very different though, both the way they do it.
Speaker 3: About like that uncle at the family reunion that's got
Speaker 3: a missing tooth or can't chew on that side. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's just like, Okay, bitch, So you're only gonna be
Speaker 3: chewing on that side your whole life, like never taking
Speaker 3: a bite always, just like you're just like a squirrel
Speaker 3: at the fucking Thanksgiving table.
Speaker 1: And you know that's the funny version of it.
Speaker 3: And I think Gerrod Carmichael also did like a really
Speaker 3: great episode in The Carmichael Show where he tried to
Speaker 3: introduce Kale to his black family and they're like, we're
Speaker 3: the hamhogs.
Speaker 1: Like what do my muscles eat this? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 3: So I feel like taking care of our health is
Speaker 3: you know, monumental. It's just like how do we do it?
Speaker 3: Like right now we are afforded conversation. We can have
Speaker 3: conversations and we have options. You remember like you only
Speaker 3: knew one vegetarian in your twenties.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Now it's like it's everybody. You know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying. It's like it's it's too much. They ruin
Speaker 2: every barbecue.
Speaker 3: Yes, especially the ones who are just like, but it
Speaker 3: touched the other w that's just like, come on, your
Speaker 3: hot dogs and your vegan dogs can't have a sore fight.
Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of house.
Speaker 3: Were you thinking about pork when you made this mushroom dish.
Speaker 3: I know you know why speaking of cooking, I love
Speaker 3: our guess that's coming up because yeah, he's a comedian.
Speaker 3: He's hilarious, but he's also like a renaissance man. It's like,
Speaker 3: what can't he do? He sings, he cooks.
Speaker 2: He draws, he draws.
Speaker 3: Yes, and you know what I like to he's in
Speaker 3: shape and he also eats what he cooks.
Speaker 1: That's important.
Speaker 6: Yes, he's like he's the only person I know that
Speaker 6: like eats gobs of Italian but looks like he's cut
Speaker 6: from wood, Like, how does he do that?
Speaker 3: I don't know the secret. I don't know what I
Speaker 3: want to see secret. I always enjoy hanging out with
Speaker 3: my friend MATEO Lane. I know you guys will too.
Speaker 3: Please everybody do what whatever you're still doing.
Speaker 5: To whatever you're still doing.
Speaker 7: I love that.
Speaker 1: What's up? Everybody?
Speaker 7: Welcome, said Dalton, show you tell this is joining Carlo
Speaker 7: Lo y'all a big ass roundable plus for.
Speaker 1: DJ dot Now what that was good?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I was.
Speaker 3: I was giving you like black girls little but in
Speaker 3: the back I was like, what in the brook wine
Speaker 3: is going on?
Speaker 1: This is a fun shirt. This shirt is vintage.
Speaker 3: By the way, and if we don't turn the ar up,
Speaker 3: I'm a start smelling like nineteen seventy two.
Speaker 6: It is.
Speaker 3: Okay, I mean it's cute, it's giving art teacher.
Speaker 5: I love summer.
Speaker 1: That definitely cares past four o'clock.
Speaker 3: But if we don't turn the air up, it's gonna
Speaker 3: give art teacher that never.
Speaker 2: Ye just will hump a treat. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I mean, like you the self.
Speaker 6: You're that art teacher that has all like you know
Speaker 6: in the box of flesh tone paper.
Speaker 2: You remember that, remember that like I was.
Speaker 6: I was a token black kid in class and there
Speaker 6: was like there was like reach into the flesh stone
Speaker 6: box of paper and you're.
Speaker 1: Like some brown pips.
Speaker 5: Like go look in the scraps sober in the corner.
Speaker 1: Is that a trigger for you?
Speaker 5: Of course it is? When are you talking about arts
Speaker 5: and crafts?
Speaker 6: Like like like I start like blinking, like looking on
Speaker 6: my you know, like I want to take hostages?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 3: Doesn't I tell you I had I had a crop
Speaker 3: top sweatshirt on from very cute uh Dusty Rose.
Speaker 1: I was leaving the house. My husband's just like the.
Speaker 3: Camel to pape, I said, I said, really never Yeah,
Speaker 3: and you know it's it's a meaty tuck.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tight end because who show it is. It's
Speaker 1: not a toe, it's the whole ass. Hope, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean it is. It's it's a whole damn
Speaker 1: renaissance down there.
Speaker 3: I will tell you she's just.
Speaker 1: Not top heavy. It is.
Speaker 5: What the fuck?
Speaker 1: Good luck with your skinny ass pussy listen.
Speaker 3: Being able to wear any croppy want. We got to
Speaker 3: move on with the show. So excited, so excited.
Speaker 1: What can I say? You know what I love?
Speaker 3: I love comedians that are not only talented but good people,
Speaker 3: and then also that are friends. And so I've known
Speaker 3: him for a really long time. We've done a lot
Speaker 3: of different shows together in different states. And he also
Speaker 3: did the artwork for my special Welcome to Utopia. He's
Speaker 3: a really talented artist. Yeah, a lot of people don't know.
Speaker 5: That's hilarious.
Speaker 7: Please give it up for our friend Mattella.
Speaker 5: Mateo.
Speaker 2: You were wondering what to wear tonight, remember.
Speaker 8: Well, because I never know how to dress, and I
Speaker 8: was like, can I wear a crop top?
Speaker 5: And then you were like so nice about its.
Speaker 3: Like, oh you asked Jordan what to wear. I don't know, yeah,
Speaker 3: don't do that.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I know I look good, But do I look good
Speaker 6: or bad?
Speaker 5: What do you guys think?
Speaker 3: Okay, Bob, it's not about you, right, I'm so excited
Speaker 3: to see you, so many questions.
Speaker 1: You love to cook.
Speaker 8: I do love to cook. It's in my blood cooking
Speaker 8: on my mom's side. She's Italian Mexican, so like, thank you.
Speaker 1: You show your love through food.
Speaker 5: I do show my love through food.
Speaker 8: I think my mom and my aunt said, well, you
Speaker 8: know what, they're growing up as it's supposed to be funny.
Speaker 5: I'm going to start no. Sorry.
Speaker 8: So I have thirty four first cousins, and we all
Speaker 8: pretty much.
Speaker 1: I just got a cramp.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 8: I don't know how my mom and my aunts did it,
Speaker 8: but we all grew up in the same block pretty much.
Speaker 5: And my brother is not all in a row.
Speaker 8: So I'm thirty six, she's thirty seven, he's thirty eight.
Speaker 8: They're actually Irish twins because they're eleven months apart.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and we.
Speaker 8: Would every night, we would cook, and my mom would cook.
Speaker 8: We should make it like fun for us, so we
Speaker 8: should line us up like little ducklings, and she would
Speaker 8: help us cook and so it just became so a
Speaker 8: part of like I'm very comfortable to catching and I
Speaker 8: enjoy cooking because that's like how we communicate.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 8: There's also something beautiful about cooking too, because like just
Speaker 8: culturally speaking, like I know, if I'm making red sauce,
Speaker 8: like the way that my hand moved is the way
Speaker 8: that my mom's hand moved.
Speaker 5: Am I nanna? And my bee's non Like do you
Speaker 5: know what I mean?
Speaker 8: It's truly like a real way to keep yourself connected
Speaker 8: through culture.
Speaker 5: Yeah it is. It's a really beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's nice when we keep we can keep that.
Speaker 3: And that's what I get when I go to New Orleans.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, okay, this isn't from a book. This
Speaker 3: is definitely from another continent, right, and you're giving it
Speaker 3: to me on a plate, And I'm very lucky.
Speaker 1: I haven't had any good food in Chicago. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie to you.
Speaker 8: In Chicago because you probably stayed downtown and they're like,
Speaker 8: get some mouths beef, you know, like you gotta go
Speaker 8: to other places to get good food.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you do.
Speaker 8: Although I will say for a deep dish, pizza. I
Speaker 8: will say, the only good deep dish is actually in Chicago,
Speaker 8: not that Uno Grill chain, and I.
Speaker 1: Like, they're not a sponsor.
Speaker 5: It's fine.
Speaker 8: There's like one Uno Grill employees like how dare you?
Speaker 8: But I think for a pizza, there's New York pizza,
Speaker 8: Chicago pizza, and Italian pizza, and I probably prefer Italian pizza,
Speaker 8: but I do is anyone from Italy not Long Island?
Speaker 5: There's no Italians here? Okay? Cool?
Speaker 6: Well you know, could you ever be with someone that
Speaker 6: didn't like Italian chao?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Or could you be with someone that doesn't like food?
Speaker 5: That would be a well, that would be interesting, not
Speaker 5: at all, like they just like.
Speaker 1: They don't care. There are adults that just shovel shit
Speaker 1: in the My.
Speaker 8: Friend Nick, Yeah, Nick, my friend Nick literally is just
Speaker 8: a garbage monster.
Speaker 5: I only eat Chipotle.
Speaker 8: I don't like grocery shopping and I don't care like
Speaker 8: that's Nick.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, they don't want to think about it. They're
Speaker 3: like Simon Cowell and Phoenix. They're like, what a deep cut?
Speaker 3: What a deep The only people that got that were
Speaker 3: the Viking people.
Speaker 5: What did they say about be? Yeah said deep cut?
Speaker 5: I really had to get that from.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I know my my last boyfriend was Venezuelan, but sure, and.
Speaker 1: He doesn't.
Speaker 8: No, I got no cooking from I was. I know,
Speaker 8: I was in there in the kitchen cooking.
Speaker 5: I was the no. No.
Speaker 8: I was like, you're not going to make me any
Speaker 8: rapa and he's like, I don't know how to make
Speaker 8: a rapa And I.
Speaker 5: Was like, well figure it out because I need.
Speaker 8: This fantasy to work. So I would love that. If
Speaker 8: he's in the kitchen like they get they get his
Speaker 8: check get, I'm like, all right, by no, you make
Speaker 8: me basta.
Speaker 1: You know, welcome to the family. Magical family. I love
Speaker 1: it so much. Did you guys sell the dance and ship?
Speaker 8: No, we didn't salt it. We didn't do anything like, no,
Speaker 8: we're still friends.
Speaker 1: You know we're ch Are you friends with Done?
Speaker 3: Will was just like, oh yeah, I'm friends with How
Speaker 3: the fuck are you friends with x'es?
Speaker 8: I know we've been through a lot. It was pretty dramatic.
Speaker 8: You know, it's like Latinos and Italians. There's just a
Speaker 8: lot of drama. There's just a lot of fighting and
Speaker 8: passion and fighting and passion and.
Speaker 5: You know my passion.
Speaker 8: Do you mean sex, yes, well sex and also just
Speaker 8: like it's too intense, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: But then I dated this guy who is just like
Speaker 5: as white as.
Speaker 8: The g and snow, and I also a Viking.
Speaker 5: No that would be interesting, Yeah, it was. It was.
Speaker 5: It was pretty boring. So what's the sorry? Is there
Speaker 5: you need a medium?
Speaker 2: Is there?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Like a goldilock setting in between? Like is there somebody
Speaker 6: in between? Do you feel as though you'd like somebody
Speaker 6: that's kind of like there's.
Speaker 8: No such like a culturally connected connected, no such thing as.
Speaker 3: The perfect person, but there is definitely like an I carry.
Speaker 1: I'll talk to Nick Cannon about that. I'm chuck.
Speaker 5: A choke, do you know? Nick Cannon?
Speaker 1: What the fuck a his kids here?
Speaker 5: I'm a fucking this is that one that one look
Speaker 5: under your seats? Nicks kids, y'all are wilent.
Speaker 8: He's got like ten of them now right, Well, the
Speaker 8: truth I haven't dated that much.
Speaker 5: You like my mom?
Speaker 8: My mom's family is like they're very I'm very I
Speaker 8: was raised by her fam. My dad's one hundred percent Irish,
Speaker 8: but not like oh to tea guitar, Like he's like
Speaker 8: just like you know, American and anybody.
Speaker 3: Else that'd be like so inappropriate, but with you, it's
Speaker 3: so lovely.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I know, well what I mean, you know it's fun,
Speaker 8: but uh, I was just abducted into my mom's family.
Speaker 5: They're just so overwhelming.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're always more of what your mom
Speaker 1: is though, because they're more hands on.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and they were just there was a million of
Speaker 8: us everywhere, you know, or like when my mom was cooking,
Speaker 8: I went to my aunt Cindy's house and just walk
Speaker 8: next door and I was like, what are you guys
Speaker 8: having I'll eat with you like that kind of So.
Speaker 6: You're the kind of person that that like would date
Speaker 6: some like you date the person, but they got to
Speaker 6: have like a kick ass family as well.
Speaker 8: No, I don't, well, you know what my past I've
Speaker 8: only had like two boyfriends, but both has been issues
Speaker 8: with like them being gay in their families, and so
Speaker 8: I think I've I've never experienced being openly embraced by
Speaker 8: my significant other's family. So I actually don't know what
Speaker 8: that I'm I'm thirty. Shit, I guess as long as
Speaker 8: I don't really know, I don't, I don't know. I'm
Speaker 8: so dating is so hard though, especially in New York
Speaker 8: gettings are really.
Speaker 3: Hard, and that just breaks my heart because as a mom,
Speaker 3: it's just like, oh my god, they're just so perfect
Speaker 3: no matter fucking what, they're so fucking yummy, and the
Speaker 3: fact that people can't experience unbridled joy and acceptance makes
Speaker 3: you want to burn it all down, but also just
Speaker 3: adopt them all and just like breastfeed everybody over thirty
Speaker 3: five that cannot in an emotionally like nourishing way, do
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Because that is so fucking sad,
Speaker 3: And now we can't go back to the past, and
Speaker 3: I feel like all our rights are gonna be ripped
Speaker 3: away and we're still gonna be fucking sitting in this,
Speaker 3: you know, in this ignorant purgatory.
Speaker 1: Of what is right and what is wrong.
Speaker 3: And you fucking know, like even people that I know
Speaker 3: well on set who are famous people say shit like,
Speaker 3: there's so many gay people. Now, what do you even
Speaker 3: fucking mean. They've always been here, you bitch. They've always
Speaker 3: been here, and we are beautiful and perfect no matter
Speaker 3: what for the dumb con So like, I'm just like
Speaker 3: I can't stop like screaming it in a dark room,
Speaker 3: I know, which.
Speaker 5: I said that, and it was when I walked in.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean I meant presently, I just meant I
Speaker 6: can't no, I know, I know exactly what you know.
Speaker 1: So I have a question for you.
Speaker 3: See you, I've met you through stand up comedy, but
Speaker 3: you much like me. I like, I'm usually the only
Speaker 3: female on the show or the only woman of color
Speaker 3: because they get a two for one, right, and then
Speaker 3: you're like the only gig on a show.
Speaker 5: Yes, usually and not at not at the comedy seller.
Speaker 5: I will say it's different now.
Speaker 8: Yeah, the comedy seller will be like j McBride opening,
Speaker 8: Jessica Curson, me, Aaron Jackson. Like it's like, yeah, I've
Speaker 8: been on a show where it's like it's almost I'm like,
Speaker 8: oh this this is a little too gay. It's a
Speaker 8: little too gay. The audience is like, this is how
Speaker 8: they get us. So the seller does a great job
Speaker 8: if they just care about funny, which I wish most
Speaker 8: bookers were that way. But it's funny when you do
Speaker 8: comedy and you're coming up like there were you know,
Speaker 8: obviously there's a lot, but in the grand scheme of things,
Speaker 8: there's really so few queer comics and so like me
Speaker 8: and Joel Kim Booster would always be on.
Speaker 5: We'd never see each other.
Speaker 8: We always on different lineups because they're like, well, I'm
Speaker 8: the gay on this show tonight, you're the gay and
Speaker 8: that show.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: And so I mean that's why I'm not really doing
Speaker 3: clubs anymore because inclusivity is fucking everything or I'm not
Speaker 3: a part of it, right, And if that means I
Speaker 3: do less shows, then I do better shows. And I
Speaker 3: feel like, you know, whether it's like you being at
Speaker 3: a certain office or you know a friend group, it's
Speaker 3: just like at a certain point, we have to stop
Speaker 3: planing and getting our feelings hurt and oh sorry.
Speaker 1: Gonna be a bumper stigarette, whole food to be the
Speaker 1: chiche we want to.
Speaker 3: See because honestly, it's just like if not us, then
Speaker 3: fucking who you know?
Speaker 1: Right, So I love that the comedy seller is doing that.
Speaker 3: I I'm wondering, like, were you able to navigate that
Speaker 3: shit because you are from such a big.
Speaker 1: Family, Because I feel like, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like my husband is the youngest child, right, and I
Speaker 3: feel like the younger kids always know how to really
Speaker 3: navigate difficult personalities.
Speaker 5: Well, part of.
Speaker 8: It was too, is like, you know, for me, my
Speaker 8: coming up in the stand up comedy was like I
Speaker 8: just was so excited that I was you know, like
Speaker 8: coming out of the closet was kind of difficult and
Speaker 8: my baby step and I never felt like I belonged
Speaker 8: on this sort of like stereotypical gay scene. Like I
Speaker 8: don't really like to party a lot, and I don't
Speaker 8: really like to do I don't like to drink and
Speaker 8: something not that that's all gays.
Speaker 5: What I'm saying, like, if you're gonna when you back
Speaker 5: in my day, when.
Speaker 8: When you came out of the closet, you know what
Speaker 8: I mean, there wasn't YouTube or Facebook or Instagram. There
Speaker 8: weren't options for me. You had to go with a
Speaker 8: fake ID to a gay bar and then that's where
Speaker 8: you were gay. So like you're just like inundated with
Speaker 8: every kind of queer person and it's overwhelming because you
Speaker 8: don't even know what you're looking at. Like I didn't
Speaker 8: see a drag queen until I was, you know, nineteen,
Speaker 8: and I was like, what's happening? You know, like and
Speaker 8: now it's very different, Like six year olds are like
Speaker 8: my favorite makeup, you know, Like it's just it's another world.
Speaker 8: So this is just from my right, my perspective. So
Speaker 8: in doing comedy, like a lot of those fears, locker
Speaker 8: room fears of like I'm gonna be made fun of,
Speaker 8: I slowly realized that no one gave a shit if
Speaker 8: I was gay.
Speaker 5: They cared if I was funny.
Speaker 8: And I found a really good group of friends in
Speaker 8: open mics who were like mind. They had the same drive,
Speaker 8: they like to work on jokes. We were all obsessed
Speaker 8: with this craft. And so to me, I'm like, I
Speaker 8: don't care what's going on. I just like I the Tiger.
Speaker 5: I'll do every open mic, I'll do every bar show.
Speaker 5: I don't care. I just want to be on stage.
Speaker 8: And look a lot of times I was on stage
Speaker 8: the only gay in front of a room a bunch
Speaker 8: of straight people, and it was constantly proving myself. And
Speaker 8: so now I'm at a point where like people are
Speaker 8: finally purchasing tickets to see me, and it's I finally
Speaker 8: get to enjoy being on stage in a way that
Speaker 8: I haven't before. Like I watched my old material, I'm like, god,
Speaker 8: it was so combative. I'm like, oh, yeah, you were
Speaker 8: like afraid, Yes, you know where now I'm not. But
Speaker 8: I have to say I had a very good time
Speaker 8: coming up and stand up outside of the industry, just
Speaker 8: with the comedians that were around me, very.
Speaker 5: Inspiring communities everything.
Speaker 8: And you know, if I go to like a club,
Speaker 8: let's say I haven't been to a club in forever,
Speaker 8: but like if you go, like I'm always worried about,
Speaker 8: like do I look okay?
Speaker 5: Am I with? You know, like are people gonna look
Speaker 5: at me? Like who are? Who's?
Speaker 8: There's a lot of you're who you are and your mentality,
Speaker 8: your intellect is never quite It's not the first thing
Speaker 8: they're looking at. I know, if I walk into the cellar,
Speaker 8: they're gonna care about my thoughts, my jokes, or I
Speaker 8: can sit. I would rather sit with Keith Robinson for hours,
Speaker 8: you know what I mean, ripping each other apart.
Speaker 5: Yeah, then doing k somewhere in a you know, club,
Speaker 5: and that's funny.
Speaker 1: I would rather.
Speaker 5: There's anything wrong with that.
Speaker 8: But I'm not saying there's anything wrong with I'm just saying,
Speaker 8: like my journey wasn't that I found my expression through
Speaker 8: this way. I get people wanted to go out and
Speaker 8: go to clubs because you know what, like life's hard,
Speaker 8: and there's certain ways to express yourself and that's the
Speaker 8: way they express themselves by. To be fair, it's like,
Speaker 8: you know, I sacrifice dating and dancing and all that.
Speaker 5: Like it's not my let me let me ask you this.
Speaker 6: Speaking of expression, you you also are.
Speaker 2: A visual artist.
Speaker 5: I'm gay a cook.
Speaker 6: Uh and but you you have a facility with all
Speaker 6: these different art forms, is it?
Speaker 5: Is it ever?
Speaker 6: Just like like are they all kind of vying for
Speaker 6: your attention at once? You know?
Speaker 5: Like cook?
Speaker 2: Draw, make comedy? Like how do you thank God?
Speaker 1: And you love opera? Who loves opera? Under sixty five?
Speaker 5: Me? Here's Maria Callous? Is my take?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 5: You guys love opera?
Speaker 8: I went to the I okay, this is kind of
Speaker 8: a cool story, all right. So one of the benefits
Speaker 8: of social media is when you put your jokes out
Speaker 8: and people follow you. So the lead soprano in Luccii
Speaker 8: lama More at the Metropolitan Opera follows me and she
Speaker 8: messaged me and she goes, do you want to come
Speaker 8: see Lucia? And I was like, I was like, yes
Speaker 8: I do, And so I got second row seats Aisle.
Speaker 8: I mean these are like nine hundred dollars tickets, and
Speaker 8: I brought my friend Nick, who's like Jesus Christ. So
Speaker 8: this fucking Nick character, Nick is six four, weighs one
Speaker 8: hundred and twenty pounds, only wears women's blouses and sounds
Speaker 8: exactly like squid word from SpongeBob. A typical, a typical
Speaker 8: conversation with Nick, like Nick, what are you doing? I'm
Speaker 8: watching a murder mystery and if you call me again,
Speaker 8: you'll be the next mystery.
Speaker 5: That's so.
Speaker 8: And he's always fighting with people, like he got into
Speaker 8: a fight. Like everyone at the opera, I swear to
Speaker 8: you was either like a twenty five year old.
Speaker 5: Gay or Methuselah. Like everyone was in.
Speaker 8: They're early hundreds, just like fairly making it to the seat,
Speaker 8: and I was like, I'm in, you know so, and
Speaker 8: and the play was amazing, by the way, the opera
Speaker 8: was great. Nick sat down and the woman next one
Speaker 8: was wearing a blouse I don't probably cost like a
Speaker 8: thousand dollars, and so he was also wearing a blouse,
Speaker 8: and he goes, I love your blouse, and she went goes.
Speaker 5: Thank you, and then didn't say anything to him, and
Speaker 5: he looked at me and he goes, what a dumb
Speaker 5: old bitch like compliment my blouse? As wow, I complimented
Speaker 5: her blouse.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're best friends with Stephen.
Speaker 5: Hawkins go on, it was down at Lucia.
Speaker 6: So but uh, back back to your question. But you
Speaker 6: love opera? Can I ask you a question? Do you
Speaker 6: ever like you love Aria's you love opera? You can
Speaker 6: sing in like six octaves? Is that correct or something?
Speaker 5: Depending on the day's wording. How much sleep?
Speaker 3: I guess, Oh my goodness, no, wonder you gotta hang out?
Speaker 5: Or I'm married? Yeah, I'm I'm met her once you did? Yeah.
Speaker 5: So I was on this show called Girl Code years ago.
Speaker 8: Yeah girl, and I never shut up about Mariah Carey.
Speaker 8: I was always talking about it, to the point where
Speaker 8: the producer stuck. He was like, he's from the South.
Speaker 8: He's like, Metteya, you gotta stop talking about Mariah.
Speaker 5: She's relevant. So always.
Speaker 8: Anyways, like a couple of years after that, I get
Speaker 8: a call from Stucky. He's like, Metella, what are you
Speaker 8: doing tomorrow at four pm?
Speaker 5: I'm like why.
Speaker 8: He goes, I got a surprise for you. I said,
Speaker 8: I know it's Mariah.
Speaker 5: He goes, Goddamn the guys, he knows this.
Speaker 6: Is by the way, this is exactly how stucky.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so Jordan wyn't you tell me what do you
Speaker 5: think of bras? Like? That was the show?
Speaker 8: So so that was literally the show.
Speaker 5: It was great.
Speaker 8: I love it so but they used to have a
Speaker 8: show on MTV where fans would meet their favorite celebrities,
Speaker 8: but they'd just be in an elevator.
Speaker 5: So the elevator door would open and then there's oh
Speaker 5: my god, and then you go on the elevator ride
Speaker 5: with them.
Speaker 8: So of course Mariah was two hours late, and uh,
Speaker 8: you know, so I got so the door and I
Speaker 8: know Mariah. I know every song. I've seen her eight times,
Speaker 8: nine times live. I've seen her Christmas show a lot.
Speaker 1: I saw you at.
Speaker 3: The Christmas show one year. I tracked my husband and
Speaker 3: he's like, I'm in line for the bar. I'm like,
Speaker 3: get me a double. But yeah, I mean the weekend theater.
Speaker 3: She does a Christmas show, that's right, and she drinks
Speaker 3: eggnog on the stage.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a good look.
Speaker 7: Wow, you know what, just singing coach or musical director.
Speaker 8: But now about this. I saw her sing a duet
Speaker 8: with R. Kelly at that Christmas show I did, and
Speaker 8: she came out. She was like Christmas time and like
Speaker 8: I was like, we were in the fourth row, and
Speaker 8: I kept making jokes to my friend Evan. I was like,
Speaker 8: do you think we should have like, you know, like
Speaker 8: Blue Man group, like plastic on you in case?
Speaker 5: Like it's a p joke anyway, So I think it's
Speaker 5: very funny.
Speaker 2: But I will say that eggnog does coat the throat.
Speaker 5: Now go ahead please? Oh yeah.
Speaker 9: Anyway, So I'm there and the door opens, sorry, throw coat,
Speaker 9: go on, that door opens.
Speaker 3: I just wanted to drive by of crazy all in
Speaker 3: a wedgy go on.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 8: So the door opens and there she is. And the
Speaker 8: thing is, I got on the elevator and first of all,
Speaker 8: she looks incredible, right, but she was also there was
Speaker 8: a whole lighting thing for her, and I was on
Speaker 8: her good side. So when I would ask her a question,
Speaker 8: she couldn't look at me, so she would just sort
Speaker 8: of bend down and answer. She was what I was
Speaker 8: expected to like, beautiful and nervous. But it was so
Speaker 8: funny because we we were probably in there for fifteen
Speaker 8: minutes and then they played Mariah music and we all
Speaker 8: started singing always be my baby, and she's saying with us,
Speaker 8: so we would go do do do oh, and she goes, oh,
Speaker 8: it's being a baby. And then at one point she
Speaker 8: did a whistle tone. I was like, this is heaven.
Speaker 5: And then they.
Speaker 8: Now they told us do not touch Mariah care like,
Speaker 8: do not touch her.
Speaker 5: Don't touch her?
Speaker 1: So why would you touch her?
Speaker 5: I will say this, It is weird.
Speaker 8: When you're in an elevator, your natural disposition is to
Speaker 8: sort of not look at the people who are next
Speaker 8: to you, right everyone he minds her own business, so
Speaker 8: you're just in there looking at her like and because
Speaker 8: I'm a comedian, I'm used to adrenaline, so I was
Speaker 8: able to control myself. So I was She had been
Speaker 8: on tour in China. I knew everything about her, so
Speaker 8: it was it was like, of course, it was like
Speaker 8: everyone's crying and there was like that like obligatory white
Speaker 8: girl like.
Speaker 3: I love you, and so I was like, oh, how
Speaker 3: was your.
Speaker 5: Tour in China?
Speaker 8: And she was like fine, you know, like she couldn't
Speaker 8: so in the end, like you know, don't touch Mariah.
Speaker 8: So we're leaving, and of course the white girls like
Speaker 8: can I have a hug and she goes sure, so
Speaker 8: she hugged her. And then I go whatever, I'm like,
Speaker 8: can I have a hug? She goes sure, so she hugged.
Speaker 8: She hugged me like the help.
Speaker 5: But she like I was I just cleaned her floors.
Speaker 5: But she was great.
Speaker 8: She was awesome and she looks beautiful. And it was
Speaker 8: funny because her makeup artist was like hidden in the corner.
Speaker 8: So like every once in a while, yeah, just a
Speaker 8: hand would come out and brush, just a stable brush.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like justil back into the corner.
Speaker 1: God.
Speaker 8: The only other person I would love to meet is
Speaker 8: Barbara streisand and I know I'll be yo.
Speaker 1: I love that all the vision of love.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, we have some questions at the audience written yes, yes,
Speaker 3: so we can answer them. Here you go. First, great,
Speaker 3: what a great Mariah Carey story. That's not what I
Speaker 3: thought you were gonna say.
Speaker 8: So this question is what would you do if you
Speaker 8: keep bumping into your ex? I would take my pants off,
Speaker 8: turn around and bump into them on purpose.
Speaker 1: That's a good ass question. That's a good ass.
Speaker 5: I asked, throw this on the ground, which I do
Speaker 5: on the ground. What's yours? Because he's a kind of lame.
Speaker 3: Okay, how do you pursue, sorry, a career in the yards?
Speaker 3: I'm fine when it can feel like the world is burning. Okay, okay,
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Listen, the world is always going to feel like it's burning.
Speaker 3: So do what you gotta do because you're not here
Speaker 3: for fucking ever.
Speaker 5: How about that?
Speaker 6: Oh, this is a real one. This is a very
Speaker 6: real one.
Speaker 1: Do you have so many in your hands?
Speaker 2: Because they're kind of wild?
Speaker 5: Fine?
Speaker 2: You want to know the one I avoided?
Speaker 5: It was this. I just turned forty. What should I
Speaker 5: start doing different? I don't know.
Speaker 6: You.
Speaker 8: Well, let's hold on a second, I know, tell them
Speaker 8: who wrote that question?
Speaker 5: Where are you all right? Stand up? What are you doing?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 5: First of all, you look great. You look amazing.
Speaker 3: By the way, keep doing what you're doing, says, let's
Speaker 3: get an.
Speaker 1: Air of recommendation.
Speaker 5: My recommendation is nothing, keep going.
Speaker 3: I haven't I thought, I honestly thought a woman wrote
Speaker 3: this question down because we always are second guessing.
Speaker 1: I want to get it right.
Speaker 3: So my answer was going to be, don't apologize for ship,
Speaker 3: go in not with the please, but like you're welcome.
Speaker 1: Whatever it is. And I felt it. You guys, you avoided.
Speaker 5: It like more Mariah Ca Carrie.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was just gonna say, maybe yogurt in the morning.
Speaker 5: You know that's that's good. Yea stomach connection for you. Okay.
Speaker 8: I like the faiya yogurt like they have to say
Speaker 8: it's pronounced faye because you know, someone is like, can
Speaker 8: we get the fag yogurt?
Speaker 5: Fag yogurt.
Speaker 2: What if you have a kid and you don't like
Speaker 2: them as a person?
Speaker 5: Wow, watch mommy, Dearra, that is it's done. Do you
Speaker 5: love your kids? I love her, She's great.
Speaker 1: Your kids cool? Your kids are cool.
Speaker 5: That did not sound very convincing.
Speaker 3: No, I'm gonna say that's real. I'm most of the kids.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't like, why are you looking at me?
Speaker 3: So I think it's really hot.
Speaker 1: You know what it is too.
Speaker 3: Because it probably skipped a generation, so they probably got
Speaker 3: traits from like a grandparent. Nobody really fucks with. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So it's you. If you have a child, it is
Speaker 3: your job to try and steer them in the right direction,
Speaker 3: expose them to steph.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm taking my kids. For God's love. We deliver,
Speaker 1: to deliver.
Speaker 3: Meals for Thanksgiving good, like like I'm trying to take
Speaker 3: them to Afro punk in the morning, not in the
Speaker 3: afternoon that's crazy, but in the morning, like the.
Speaker 1: New Acts and stuff.
Speaker 3: Like by the way, if you see someone struggling with
Speaker 3: their kids in public, like, I know it's annoying for you,
Speaker 3: but I'm trying to raise cool at human beings, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, that will be become like productive people.
Speaker 1: So just like give me a fucking minute, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean.
Speaker 6: I think, Yeah, you asked me you were kind of
Speaker 6: nervous about your kids everything. Yeah, you're nervous about your kids.
Speaker 6: And I asked you when I said, like, I said,
Speaker 6: how are they with strangers?
Speaker 2: And you said they're great? And I was like, that's it.
Speaker 5: You're good. Are they around? Like little angelic beings?
Speaker 8: Like just like like, wow, you're better behave than me.
Speaker 6: And if you don't, if you aren't enjoying, if you
Speaker 6: an't enjoying or clicking with your child, I'd say, lean
Speaker 6: into it and spend more time with your child, like find.
Speaker 1: Out edibles help.
Speaker 5: No, I think doing the things.
Speaker 1: You heard a tired mom in a corn.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well actually take an eddie and then do story time.
Speaker 6: Do the things that you think are like really like
Speaker 6: they either bother you or or get to the root
Speaker 6: of why you're ticked off with your child.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but definitely spend intimate time with.
Speaker 3: Facing the ship. Like he even quick caffeine. I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, you wait, what did you do? He
Speaker 3: quit caffeine?
Speaker 5: You can leave.
Speaker 2: It can change everything. I'm just saying this has.
Speaker 8: How of course the gig gets this question, how many
Speaker 8: partners is too many? Like at the same time, Yeah,
Speaker 8: I don't, like, I don't know in the same setting
Speaker 8: or just like like in a week or whatever.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know. I don't really have an we.
Speaker 2: Have seven days in a week. So let's go from there.
Speaker 8: You know, like I guess, I guess, Like is this
Speaker 8: like a polyamorous question?
Speaker 3: You know what's so great is that we have so
Speaker 3: many options. But I will tell you this, I've dated
Speaker 3: two or three guys at the same time. I realized
Speaker 3: if I could take two of them and put them
Speaker 3: as one person, they'd be the perfect person. So I
Speaker 3: was trying to like I was getting what I needed,
Speaker 3: but it was exhausting. And when I start repeating my stories,
Speaker 3: they're like you told me to, I said, I did,
Speaker 3: so when you hit that point, When you hit that,
Speaker 3: it's time to go, or if you like, also be
Speaker 3: safe if you're going to be sitting on so many things. Okay,
Speaker 3: last question, let's make it mean something, bitch.
Speaker 6: Okay, where do thirty plus year olds go to meet?
Speaker 5: And? Fuck?
Speaker 6: I feel like I'm the old always the oldest person
Speaker 6: in the room, but prefer to meet people.
Speaker 5: I R l over apps. I live in NYC? Where
Speaker 5: should I go? I also know you?
Speaker 1: Do you single?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I say that's too much? Are you a virgo?
Speaker 5: They also don't drink? This is all that.
Speaker 1: You got a lot of feelings?
Speaker 8: Need that?
Speaker 5: What's so much? Like? Where is your problem? Right here?
Speaker 8: They asked you to ask one question and you're like
Speaker 8: in nineteen twelve, Like, girl, this is in real life.
Speaker 5: I live in New York City? Where should I go?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 8: Brendesy's also don't drink? Like I know too much about you?
Speaker 1: Right, that's okay. You could do a lot of stop
Speaker 1: and not drink.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a lot of.
Speaker 1: Daytime hangs, right, so many museums.
Speaker 5: I'll give them real advice. All right, here's what you do.
Speaker 8: Yes, if you're passionate about something, find people who are
Speaker 8: also like minded and passionate in those things, and then
Speaker 8: everything else in life will fall into place.
Speaker 1: About Yeah, go to Craigslist.
Speaker 5: Craiglist girl.
Speaker 1: Also, I will say less is more. You don't have
Speaker 1: to tell everybody what you're everything you're feeling, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? You have friends like that, I am.
Speaker 1: I have friends who are beautiful people. They're shy.
Speaker 3: Once they get like a little bear hug at this bosom.
Speaker 3: They don't shut the fuck up, and I love them,
Speaker 3: but I'm tired.
Speaker 1: You gotta wrap it up.
Speaker 6: I feel that, I honestly think that the best place
Speaker 6: is to go if you don't drink, If you're this person,
Speaker 6: God bless you have to go to the places like
Speaker 6: institutions in New York, right, New York Public Library reading
Speaker 6: room to do what exactly, Jordan, You're gonna meet them
Speaker 6: in the stacks.
Speaker 5: Your hands are both gonna touch, like James Baldwin's hotel
Speaker 5: on the Mountain or something like that, and then.
Speaker 8: Oh my god, Jordan, all right, store and do it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like a coffee shop. I feel like
Speaker 6: I feel like the reading room at the public library.
Speaker 1: You know what, you can put in black owned coffee
Speaker 1: shops and yelp.
Speaker 5: Yeah do that all app use Blap.
Speaker 8: John Laster has a great app called Blap that is
Speaker 8: all black owned businesses and it's like like uber, I get.
Speaker 3: His Black Owned Business month, bitches, So support the last
Speaker 3: place I will recommend.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 6: I don't even know if they still do this, but
Speaker 6: I think that the Metropolitan Museum of Art has a
Speaker 6: party on the roof all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it stays open, and that is the ultimate.
Speaker 1: That is the whole foods.
Speaker 3: My Columbus Circle has like a little date night with
Speaker 3: like a stand up bass and cheese.
Speaker 6: There's also Midsummer Night Swing at Lincoln Center. So right,
Speaker 6: all these down, you virgin and you get there.
Speaker 4: Always grinder, Mateo, everybody, Mateo Lane Lane.
Speaker 1: You know what I love.
Speaker 3: I love a good ass story that is five minutes
Speaker 3: or less that you can tell in any room in
Speaker 3: any country for all of time. And Mateo's story about
Speaker 3: Mariah Carey in an elevator, I mean any country, any room,
Speaker 3: like any time in our life, because it is spectacular
Speaker 3: and I really wish you guys could have been there
Speaker 3: because when he re enacted a makeup brush.
Speaker 1: Coming out of its like nowhere. I like, I it
Speaker 1: was like truly like jump roping in my forties.
Speaker 6: I pete a little I heard like a little bell,
Speaker 6: like you know, like it's like the hand comes out
Speaker 6: like a cartoon hand.
Speaker 2: It's like it was so funny. It was so funny.
Speaker 6: And I've heard him actually tell that story before among
Speaker 6: friends and it was just as funny. And it's it's
Speaker 6: just I love a story that's not it's portable in
Speaker 6: that like it's all mateo. Yeah, it's as insightful about
Speaker 6: the subject as it is about you know, the person
Speaker 6: telling the story.
Speaker 3: Okay, Professor Carlos, break it the fuck down for everyone. Also,
Speaker 3: I love it's like, look, you better have a health
Speaker 3: relationship when you meet your hero do.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 10: Like like like you better figure it out because when
Speaker 10: people are like, don't meet your heroes, it's like, well,
Speaker 10: manage your expectations tell them because look.
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, what's been happening to you?
Speaker 6: Michelle? This is I know what you're doing. This is
Speaker 6: like no, no, who fucked up the target parking lot?
Speaker 6: Who messed up.
Speaker 3: As it got to be a target parking lot? You're
Speaker 3: always talking about thee there I'm always there.
Speaker 1: I'm always there.
Speaker 2: Tell me who messed big lots.
Speaker 3: They have everything I need and I can. I just say,
Speaker 3: shout out to Target for putting just black designers on
Speaker 3: the motherfucker map. Black Entrepreneur's Black Andy Black. Yes, I
Speaker 3: feel like a red carpet the Emmys.
Speaker 1: When I'm in Target, I'm like, I'm rooting for everyone black,
Speaker 1: and they're every where. They got pictures of them.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, you know they have like gaps in their teeth,
Speaker 3: the cuckles are backfat.
Speaker 1: I said, this is beautiful as fuck, oh.
Speaker 3: Black and brown, because there are some like other others
Speaker 3: that I'm just like, this is this is what my
Speaker 3: kids get to grow up seeing.
Speaker 1: This is not what I see. It's very exciting.
Speaker 3: Anyways, getting back to not meeting your heroes, Yeah, manage
Speaker 3: your expectations and you'll always have a good time in life.
Speaker 1: Period. Point blank? Are you writing this down?
Speaker 5: Stamping?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 6: I just yell everyone done, Oh my gosh, now you
Speaker 6: want Now I want a coffee. But as you know,
Speaker 6: I quit coffee two years ago during COVID one of
Speaker 6: those things that I quit and do I feel better
Speaker 6: for it?
Speaker 5: Morally? Superior?
Speaker 3: Yes, I understand I've met a lot of people on
Speaker 3: set that I have quit coffee just because it's ruined
Speaker 3: their body. And uh, one thing I don't want to
Speaker 3: do is have to quit coffee or drinking. So I
Speaker 3: need to manage that shit because I look.
Speaker 1: Here, I want to have.
Speaker 3: I want to earn them purple lips on a beach
Speaker 3: in the south of France, honey, topless with my little
Speaker 3: titties or big titties at the point looking just looking
Speaker 3: like big old raisins, just big old national geographic titties,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. I want to be like
Speaker 3: a flow tipsy damn day.
Speaker 5: I like how you're like, do you know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you not feel I want to be that.
Speaker 3: Topless yes woman on a beach And then young people
Speaker 3: will be like she's cool. But I'm also like offended,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean by how comfortable she is.
Speaker 6: When you go to Barcelona and Barcelonetta, you go, you
Speaker 6: go down to the beach and it's just like it's
Speaker 6: you jiggling baby.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: It's it's funny that you said that Barcelona is the
Speaker 3: first beach that I ever was topless at me too.
Speaker 2: Holy shit, are you serious?
Speaker 1: Come over there and punch you in a dick.
Speaker 2: Wait, you were topless in Barcelonetta.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I said I'd punched in the deck.
Speaker 5: I was. It's yeah.
Speaker 3: My friend Cynthia loved it so much she wanted to
Speaker 3: move there and just played the flute on Los rombulis.
Speaker 1: I was like, bitch, we gotta go home. Also, like I.
Speaker 3: Learned how to snack. I was like, we can't eat
Speaker 3: dinner to nine pm. I'm hungry. I mean, while I
Speaker 3: love the European culture, I'm just I need dinner at seven, y'all.
Speaker 2: So sorry, Yeah, what about would you take a siesta?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Because I would drink so much that you would have
Speaker 3: I would have to see Usta forever all night long.
Speaker 6: Well guess what, friend, We're at that time in the
Speaker 6: show where it's the end of the end and end
Speaker 6: and I'm going to take a ces right now.
Speaker 3: Okay, mall Coup, I see you on you Segway Ball Blart.
Speaker 1: Bye. This was fine.
Speaker 4: Bye.
Speaker 2: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: Our senior producer is Natalie Wrinn.
Speaker 2: Senior Managing Producer is Hannah Kyle Craigie.
Speaker 1: This episode was sound designed.
Speaker 2: And engineered by Ryo bomb.
Speaker 1: Our guest booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 2: Our theme song in live show DJing is by DJ
Speaker 2: don Well.
Speaker 1: This bell Hell Show was produced by a Via Levine.
Speaker 1: Photography by Chris vander Most.
Speaker 2: Artwork by Jamie Bechtel.
Speaker 3: Executive produced by Karen Kilgaraf, Georgia Harstark and Danielle Kramer.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pot.
Speaker 3: Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com
Speaker 3: mm HM