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Speaker 1: Okay, Hi, oh hi, everybody, it's us. It's Catherine and

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Speaker 1: Chelsea and it's called Dear Chelsea. Is what you're listening

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Speaker 1: to in case somebody tricked your phone. Yes, I found mushrooms.

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Speaker 1: And my place in Whistler, I had these chocolate mushrooms

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Speaker 1: that I supplied the entire mountain probably b C British

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Speaker 1: Columbia with last year when I was in Whistler, and

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Speaker 1: then when I left, I left everything there and so

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Speaker 1: this year when I was going through my things, I

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Speaker 1: found them and I have been taking like the tiniest,

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Speaker 1: like a half of a half of square every day

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Speaker 1: because now that I know more about micro dosing, like

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Speaker 1: I don't like the rush of the feeling, but I

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Speaker 1: like the up of the feeling. I have to say,

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Speaker 1: like I've found a perfect dose. Is this that the

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Speaker 1: chocolate mushrooms? These are chocolate mushrooms now and Whistler everyone

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Speaker 1: has capsules. They give you fifty milligrams or a hundred

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Speaker 1: milligrams or two hundred and fifty milligrams, which are also

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Speaker 1: just like they don't make you hallucinate. They just give

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Speaker 1: you an up and it's almost imperceptible, and it's nice

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Speaker 1: and it's great if you're outside to nature these. So

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Speaker 1: I took a little one a few days ago just

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Speaker 1: to see because I was like, oh, you know, when

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Speaker 1: you're not acclimated, you know, you can have bigger reactions.

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Speaker 1: And I don't like that whoosh feeling that sometimes comes

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Speaker 1: on with mushrooms, where you're like yawning and it's very

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Speaker 1: overwhelming and you almost nauseated slightly. Anyway, I think I

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Speaker 1: found the perfect dosage, and I gave some to Joe Koy,

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Speaker 1: who's never done mushrooms, but somebody had given to him. Well,

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Speaker 1: he doesn't need an upper you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: He somebody gave it to gave them to him in Canada,

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Speaker 1: and he we were falling asleep. We had played pickleball

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Speaker 1: and we were falling asleep that night and he was

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Speaker 1: He's like, honey, you's just so funny. Everything you say

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Speaker 1: is so funny. And I was like, uh huh huh,

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Speaker 1: and he goes, I just can't stop smiling every time

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Speaker 1: I think of you. I'm like, oh my god, honey,

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Speaker 1: those are mushrooms. That's what you're feeling. That was not

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Speaker 1: a micro dose, that's a dose. And he's like, is

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Speaker 1: that what it is, I go, yes, go into beds

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Speaker 1: with a smile on your face is mushrooms. So I

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Speaker 1: just want everyone to know that you also can go

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Speaker 1: to his bed with a smile on your face if

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Speaker 1: you get yourself some mushrooms too. I've never done mushrooms.

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Speaker 1: That's very hard for me to believe. Really, do I

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Speaker 1: seem like a person who's like out in the world.

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Speaker 1: I think that you've experimented with drugs I have. Well,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you, I am also like not a

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Speaker 1: very good weed smoker. The first time I ever smoked weed,

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Speaker 1: it was great. I had a fun time. The second

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Speaker 1: time I ever smoked weed, I had the worst time ever.

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Speaker 1: It was in Indiana. It was like maybe laced with

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Speaker 1: something like hallucinations voices. It was terrible. That definitely sounds

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Speaker 1: like it was laced with something. Yeah, so I didn't

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Speaker 1: touch it for the longest time. And I can really

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Speaker 1: only do it when like my set and setting are

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Speaker 1: very specific, like I feel very safe. But I also

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Speaker 1: just find like I don't love the feeling of being high.

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Speaker 1: I don't love the feeling of like the time distortion,

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Speaker 1: but I do just like and this is advice I

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Speaker 1: got from you from working on this show, but just

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Speaker 1: doing tiny, tiny doses like I find even one or

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Speaker 1: two and a half my MiGs is like my sweet spot,

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Speaker 1: where it's just a little twinkle, like you don't feel high. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So that's good that you found that out about yourself

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Speaker 1: and that you didn't shy away from it, because there

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Speaker 1: is a right amount for everybody, and some people's sometimes

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Speaker 1: Like yesterday, I had a day off unexpectedly. I was

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Speaker 1: thought I was working all day and I had the

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Speaker 1: day off, and so I had a fun day and

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Speaker 1: I took two edibles at around three o'clock, got into

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Speaker 1: bed and watched a bunch of TV, which is basically

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Speaker 1: my favorite thing to do in the whole world, is

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Speaker 1: to lie in bed and watch TV, especially if there's

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Speaker 1: something good. I love it. I love it. I got

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Speaker 1: that from my mom. My mom used to lie in

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Speaker 1: bed all the time. And then when I was seeing

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Speaker 1: my therapist, he's like, your mom sounds like she was depressed.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, then I'm fucking depressed too, because I've

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Speaker 1: got the same sleeping gene. I just want to be

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Speaker 1: snuggling all the time. And you're on the ghost so much.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure that it's like, yeah, but I haven't, and

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Speaker 1: I haven't inordinate or disproportionate desire to to be in

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Speaker 1: bed Like it's just two. It's outweighs everything else I'd

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Speaker 1: like to be doing. So yes, I can have a

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Speaker 1: very busy life, but I have no problem chilling the

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Speaker 1: funk out. Good, very good. Well, I have a follow

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Speaker 1: up from someone who has taken your advice, Chelsea. This

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Speaker 1: is from Christina and she joined us on our episode

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Speaker 1: with Taylor Tomlinson Comics, stating comics, she was the one

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Speaker 1: with the boyfriend who her friend thought he was a deadbeat.

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Speaker 1: But she's a lawyer and she needed to talk to

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Speaker 1: her friend about how she's really into this guy. She says,

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Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I have a little update. I talked to

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Speaker 1: my friend and we had a really honest conversation. She

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Speaker 1: admitted that she did want me to break up with

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend, but mostly it was because she feared I

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Speaker 1: wasn't just settling for him, I was settling in life.

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Speaker 1: Side story. In law school, I interned at the A C.

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Speaker 1: L U and my school's environmental law clinic. I wrote

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Speaker 1: a published piece on racial discrimination post nine eleven, Like

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Speaker 1: this woman does everything. She's wonderful. Suffice it to say,

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Speaker 1: I really care about social justice and have much bigger

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Speaker 1: dreams than my current corporate job. I'd love to take

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Speaker 1: a job doing something I care about, but those are

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Speaker 1: scarce in Miami. My boyfriend has always said he'd never

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Speaker 1: leave Miami. She said she really believes in me and

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Speaker 1: thinks I can do so much more than just live

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Speaker 1: in Miami with my boyfriend forever. And I explained to her,

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Speaker 1: I understand I have my own fears about waking up

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Speaker 1: in twenty years with regret, but for now, I have

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Speaker 1: no idea what life has in store, and I'm still

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Speaker 1: hopeful I won't have to compromise my dreams or my relationship.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's cocky, but I'm really shooting to have it all.

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Speaker 1: So I made it clear we're not breaking up anytime soon,

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Speaker 1: and asked that she please respect my decision. She seemed

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Speaker 1: a little disappointed but understanding, and so far our friendship

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Speaker 1: is as strong as ever, minus the verbal subtweets. Thanks

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Speaker 1: so much for your advice, and I cannot wait to

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Speaker 1: see you. And you're vaccinated and horny tour. Oh good,

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Speaker 1: that's good, good, great? Good for her? Yeah, yeah, I'm comfortable.

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Speaker 1: Conversations are worth having. Yeah, and especially if you know

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Speaker 1: the friend is somebody who can handle that conversation, then

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Speaker 1: you know they're are there to stick around. Yeah. And

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Speaker 1: also the truth brings you together, Like saying that she

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Speaker 1: wanted you to break up with him is truthful, and

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Speaker 1: that's not easy to say either. So like it's good

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Speaker 1: that she was honest, and it's good that you were honest. Yeah. Absolutely, Well,

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Speaker 1: we have a really exciting guest today. Oh yeah, he's

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Speaker 1: an internet sensation, you guys. Oh my god, Annie's Filipinos.

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Speaker 1: So you know that I love Filipinos, you guys, if

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Speaker 1: you don't follow this guy on Instagram or TikTok. He

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Speaker 1: is an Asian American digital superstar known for his unique

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Speaker 1: sense of comedy, gender bending fashion, and creating the new

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Speaker 1: standard of male beauty that is followed by over forty

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Speaker 1: five million fans globally. He has comedy, fashion and beauty

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Speaker 1: sensation bretman Rock. He has his own TV series on

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Speaker 1: MTV It's called brettman Rock, and his YouTube originals limited

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Speaker 1: series Thirty Days with brettman Rock, which showcases him digging

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Speaker 1: deeper into his spirituality while alone and off the grid

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Speaker 1: in the jungle. Please welcome. This will nugget Bretman rock Bretman.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, let me see that hot little body.

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Speaker 1: Why are you hiding it from us? This is Katherine

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Speaker 1: Katherin's and my producer. Hi, miss Katherine. I love the

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Speaker 1: purple hair. Thank you. It's nice to meet you. Brettman.

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Speaker 1: The last time that you and I spoke. Are you good?

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Speaker 1: Are you ready? Yes? I needed some lighting, you know, honey,

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Speaker 1: I of course you need. By the way, Brettman's pronouns

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Speaker 1: are he, she and they, so you can just call

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Speaker 1: him her, they whatever, right. Whatever you see, honestly, that's

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Speaker 1: what I say. Whatever you see is what you can

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Speaker 1: call me. Well, what I see is a fantast magoria

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Speaker 1: of light and energy. That's what I see when I

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Speaker 1: look at you. Thank you. I am a divine creature.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. First of all, I'm Pennie. Now did you

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Speaker 1: know that? I know? I was like, we have so

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Speaker 1: much things in common. Now you're like Feltena on these

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Speaker 1: days thanks to the power of semen. Honestly tell me

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Speaker 1: about it. Also, I did not know you guys were dating.

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Speaker 1: For the longest. I thought you guys were just like

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Speaker 1: best these for a while because you guys were just

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Speaker 1: like making videos and I was like, Miss Joe and

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Speaker 1: Miss Chelsea's really hang out and he loves joke. By

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Speaker 1: the way, I was there. I don't know if he's

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Speaker 1: told you, but he had like the nine sold out

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Speaker 1: shows back to back to back. I didn't even get

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Speaker 1: a ticket, but my mom wanted to go, Well, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna hang out with you when we come in July.

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Speaker 1: I'm there July three and fourth and Maui and then Oahu,

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Speaker 1: aren't you on Oahu? I'm on Oahu. Wait did he

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Speaker 1: name his book Mixed Plate because of his experience and

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Speaker 1: eat or what? Because I have a theory that it's

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Speaker 1: because he ate at zippies. I ate at zippies, yes,

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Speaker 1: and like all of the food and zippies are like

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Speaker 1: all mixed plate food. So I was like, m he

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Speaker 1: probably ate at zippies. Well, we came. We came the

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Speaker 1: last time he was playing the Blaisdell Arena. The last

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Speaker 1: time we were here. We came for Thanksgiving, and so

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Speaker 1: I was there for like literally two and a half days.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise we would have been looking for you. But in

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Speaker 1: those two and a half days, I ate more mayonnaise

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Speaker 1: than I've eaten in forty five years. Because in Hawaii

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Speaker 1: they put mayonnaise on everything. Everything mayonnaise, and sometimes we

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Speaker 1: do the mayonnaise catchup mix, you know, like the cute

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Speaker 1: little hot pink color. We put that on everything too.

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Speaker 1: Is there a name for that? Is that Russian dressing?

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Speaker 1: Mayonnaise and catchup? I don't know what we call it,

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Speaker 1: but I am the mayonnaise that I think you're like,

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Speaker 1: do you like the mayonnaise here? Well, I just don't

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Speaker 1: need that much mayonnaise really on anything, because I think

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Speaker 1: we use like more like the Japanese mayonnaise instead of

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Speaker 1: like the Yeah, it's like an a oli, isn't it

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Speaker 1: like an aoli sauce kind of thing like calamari. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: comes like a soup more so than a dish. But whatever.

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Speaker 1: You know, if I'm going to transition into being a

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Speaker 1: Filipina and being Hawaiian, I'm just gonna have to accept

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Speaker 1: all of these things and let my body just do

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Speaker 1: its thing. Yeah. Also, we're both like playboy models now,

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Speaker 1: Miss Chausey. I don't know if you saw that, but

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Speaker 1: I saw that. I saw that. That was a dream

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Speaker 1: come true for you. Recently, right was? And then I

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Speaker 1: saw your Christmas one that you posted like a while back,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, she really coming for my gig first,

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Speaker 1: and now she wants to be a big model. I've

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Speaker 1: always been coming for you, Bretman. Bretman and I first met.

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Speaker 1: We did this like makeup collaboration for something a few

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Speaker 1: years ago, and Bretman showed up to the set and

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Speaker 1: was one hot mess. And I this is from the

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Speaker 1: Queen of hot messes. Okay, okay, first of all, let

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Speaker 1: me explain myself. My my first manages told me about

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Speaker 1: that deal. I was like, what is me and going

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Speaker 1: to talk about? So she was like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 1: you guys have so many things in common. You guys

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Speaker 1: are both funny, and you guys smoke weeds. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna go high. So I took a

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Speaker 1: fat red before I came and that was that. So

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Speaker 1: I was, Yes, I was a mess, and I'm so sorry. No,

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Speaker 1: I know it wasn't. It wasn't a shoot that required

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Speaker 1: us to be anything less than a mess. To be

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Speaker 1: honest with you, we had to be a mess, but

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Speaker 1: cover it up. Yeah, exactly. He did my makeup. I

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Speaker 1: think I tried to do his anyway. No, Remember you

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Speaker 1: were like mad at me because I think, like last minute,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't think I could do her

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Speaker 1: makeup today, So I ended up like having to teach

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Speaker 1: you how to do it. Oh yeah, you couldn't apply

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Speaker 1: it yourself. Why was that? Because I low key don't

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Speaker 1: know how to do other people's makeup, Like I know

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Speaker 1: how to do my face, but like, I feel like

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Speaker 1: if I did your makeup, you would have just looked

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Speaker 1: like me, which I mean, that's not really a problem

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Speaker 1: with that, but um, I didn't want you look like

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Speaker 1: a Bremen rock. So that I think it's because I

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Speaker 1: know how my face is shaped, and like we obviously

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Speaker 1: have different face shapes and we do like an egg.

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Speaker 1: What's going on with you these days? How's your love life?

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Speaker 1: Is there anything happening in that department? Let me, mother

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Speaker 1: tell you? Tell me why I'm I want to go

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Speaker 1: see a spiritual healer, and I know if you believe

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Speaker 1: in that shack. And she was telling me all these

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Speaker 1: things about like my grandma because she was kind of

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Speaker 1: like my spiritual guide growing up. I grew up very spiritual,

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Speaker 1: and I was feeling off, so I went to go

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Speaker 1: see a Native American and woman who does like all

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Speaker 1: these practices. And at the end, she was like, are

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Speaker 1: you seeing anybody right now? And I was like, nos

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Speaker 1: this and she goes, I think there's somebody that like

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Speaker 1: hecks you. And when she said that, it clicked to me.

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Speaker 1: It was my ax because he practiced that stuff and

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Speaker 1: he would always joke around and be like, if you

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Speaker 1: ever leave me, I'll make sure you'll never find anybody again.

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Speaker 1: And at the time I was just like ha ha,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, that's so funny, like you're so goofy,

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Speaker 1: but that this really hecks me. And now I have

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Speaker 1: a hard time like connecting with men, and like every

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Speaker 1: time like men flirted with me, like it's hard for

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Speaker 1: me to like distinguished now, like my assistant literally has

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Speaker 1: to be like right, he was hitting on you. It's

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Speaker 1: hard for me like see that. Now, every time I

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Speaker 1: get close to somebody, I always feel like I'm cheating

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Speaker 1: on somebody. So I always like ghost boys just for

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Speaker 1: an ed reason. And I and when she said that,

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Speaker 1: I was hex I was like, oh my god, it's

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Speaker 1: him doing that. So yeah, that's the update on my

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Speaker 1: love life. So was that person able to remove the

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Speaker 1: hecks I start, I was like, how do we get

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Speaker 1: rid of this? What fun? And then she was like,

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Speaker 1: I think your grandma is strong enough, and I really

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Speaker 1: feel like your grandma let it happen. And when she

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Speaker 1: said that, it also clicked in my head that like,

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Speaker 1: after I got dumped Miss Chelsea, my life turned upside down,

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Speaker 1: Like I grew out my hair. I looked like more

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Speaker 1: like Breman Rock more than I've ever did in my

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Speaker 1: whole entire life. And I feel like I needed that

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Speaker 1: ship to happen to finally step into who I was

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Speaker 1: meant to be. And like ever since then, I had

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Speaker 1: like my MTV show My Playboy, like back to back cover.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I don't

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Speaker 1: mean to be like bragging about myself. Really like I

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Speaker 1: went through all that show I've been to go for

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Speaker 1: a whole year just so that I could focus myself.

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Speaker 1: And she said that your grandma. If your grandma did

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Speaker 1: not want you to go through it, she would have

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Speaker 1: blocked it off. And she said that I had to

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Speaker 1: go through it, and I think I had to because

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Speaker 1: I found who I really was, I think, and I'm

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Speaker 1: more confident than of who myself in my career than

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Speaker 1: ever before. So yeah, that's a great feeling, isn't it

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Speaker 1: to feel self assured and confident in who you are? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I think I really at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: I really just had to fall in love with myself,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's what happened. I fell in love

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Speaker 1: with Remen Rock. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting you say that

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Speaker 1: because a lot of people think that you have to

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Speaker 1: fall in love with yourself physically. You know, they're not

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Speaker 1: looking at the internal and like, you actually have to

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Speaker 1: fall in love with your personality and your emotionality, Like

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Speaker 1: you have to fall in love with you who you are,

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Speaker 1: not just the way you look. And especially in the

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Speaker 1: world that we're in or in the social media and everything,

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Speaker 1: everyone kind of gets reduced down to the way they

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Speaker 1: look and how good they look for how old they

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Speaker 1: are or whatever. Well more for me than for you,

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Speaker 1: since you're like eight months old. But I like that

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Speaker 1: that you took a break and you kind of stepped

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Speaker 1: into your own power because I think that's a typical

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Speaker 1: situational circumstance. When you get out of a relationship, you

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Speaker 1: start to look at yourself in a different way, and

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Speaker 1: it's a huge growth experience, right when you break up

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Speaker 1: and you're on your own, and he was like my

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Speaker 1: first love. I swore I was gonna marry him. People

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Speaker 1: calling me eight times, I ran back eight. It got

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Speaker 1: to a point where, like, literally the seven time you

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Speaker 1: broke up with me that one month, I literally was,

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Speaker 1: I don't even pray mitelca, I don't pray. And I

315
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,840
Speaker 1: was like to please God, like, please leave me already,

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Speaker 1: because I could not. I don't know why, but I

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Speaker 1: could not have the willpower to like break up with

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Speaker 1: somebody after like chasing them eight times. So it got

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Speaker 1: to a point where I was like, please, whoever is

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Speaker 1: listening up there, please tell him to leave me. Yeah, seven,

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Speaker 1: seven or eight times? If going back, I call that

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Speaker 1: recidivism where you are performing the same wrong thing you've

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Speaker 1: done so many times, then yeah, I think after you

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Speaker 1: break up with somebody twice and you get back together,

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Speaker 1: that's a rap. We should have like term limits on

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Speaker 1: all of these things, just for younger people coming into it,

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Speaker 1: because it's like there's no healthy relationship where you're breaking

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Speaker 1: up five or six times and getting back together. No

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Speaker 1: one's ever gonna be like this is gonna work out

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Speaker 1: what about therapy, breatman, do you go to any therapists?

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Speaker 1: I go to the physical therapy because I injured my

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Speaker 1: shoulder the other months. Yeah, that's not the same fucking thing.

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Speaker 1: I know. I know, I struggle finding the courage to

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Speaker 1: go see a therapist, Miss Chelsea. I do, I genuinely do,

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Speaker 1: and I think it's because I was traumatized from like

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Speaker 1: early years when I did see like a therapist like

337
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,640
Speaker 1: that didn't know how to deal with like kids, especially

338
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,160
Speaker 1: like growing up with like an Asian mom who joking

339
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,760
Speaker 1: probably said something similar to like some Asian moms truly

340
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 1: do not believe in mental health, like not even Asian moms,

341
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,280
Speaker 1: like foreign moms, like they think that we're just like

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00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,520
Speaker 1: being dramatic. Like even when I told my mom, like

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Speaker 1: I was telling her about my anxiety and how I

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Speaker 1: have social anxiety, and she was like, girl, you're just

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00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 1: being dramatic, like you're like she didn't say that, but

346
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,680
Speaker 1: in my language she did. So I think for like

347
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,840
Speaker 1: a while, I also like didn't take my mental health

348
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,440
Speaker 1: seriously because my mom convinced me that it was like

349
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,640
Speaker 1: all in my head, and that's what it is. It

350
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,400
Speaker 1: is all in my head. But them, Yeah, I am,

351
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 1: I am. I really am building the courage to go

352
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,520
Speaker 1: see a therapist. I texted my manager like last month,

353
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Speaker 1: I was like, I think this is the year that

354
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,560
Speaker 1: I need to see a therapist because even if it

355
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,920
Speaker 1: if even if it isn't for Bretman, I need to

356
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 1: see a therapist for Bretman Rock because fame is not fun.

357
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,719
Speaker 1: So tell, let's talk about your fame. Let's how are

358
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,600
Speaker 1: you handling being famous? I think I don't like to

359
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,159
Speaker 1: call myself a child star, but it kind of is, because,

360
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,359
Speaker 1: like I started this journey when I was in high school.

361
00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 1: I was a sophomore, and so a lot of like

362
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 1: my audience like grew up with me, and so I

363
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,439
Speaker 1: also grew up with fame and like handling fame. But

364
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,440
Speaker 1: also at the same time, I live in haw VIII

365
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 1: and so you know, a population of four people, So

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Speaker 1: like it's hard for me to like feel famous in

367
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Speaker 1: how VII when like really like everyone that wants to

368
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 1: meet you here, I've already met you when you were

369
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Speaker 1: like in high school. Everyone here has made me like

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00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,360
Speaker 1: three or four or five times already. It's like, oh,

371
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 1: it's just Bretman. But I truly only feel fame when

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Speaker 1: I'm in l A. And that's why I think I

373
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,439
Speaker 1: hate l A because LA reminds me of work, and

374
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Speaker 1: that's why I thrived, because it doesn't have the pressure

375
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 1: of like faith. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, Well,

376
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,000
Speaker 1: Joe and I are spending like our winters and Whistler

377
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 1: and I love to get out of l A to

378
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 1: go to Whistler because it's just a completely It's all

379
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 1: about nature, it's all about skiing, it's all about being outside.

380
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 1: If you're not skiing, you're doing something else physical. No

381
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,840
Speaker 1: one gives a ship about Hollywood. No one's talking about that.

382
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,800
Speaker 1: No one's stopping me to say I need a picture.

383
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,920
Speaker 1: They just all know that I'm there and that's the

384
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,200
Speaker 1: way it's going to be. But it's Whistler in Canada. Yes,

385
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 1: it is a bit. I have a story about getting

386
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 1: into Canada, but continue. But I I think that, Yeah,

387
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,399
Speaker 1: a lot of artists and creators like to be away

388
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,879
Speaker 1: from the hustle of it, like being in l A

389
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 1: all the time. It's just not a healthy situation. I know.

390
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 1: For me, I need a time out all the time.

391
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,720
Speaker 1: And I like being on the road because one of

392
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 1: the reasons I love being on the road and being

393
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,359
Speaker 1: on tour is to be out of l A because

394
00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 1: you just I don't like to be competitive and I

395
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 1: don't like to look around too much. And when I'm

396
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:05,920
Speaker 1: in l A, I noticed that about myself more exactly. So, um, yeah,

397
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: that's kind of like me too. And what's up with

398
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,920
Speaker 1: your sister? How's she doing? Girl? How is she not doing? Honestly,

399
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 1: the day my sister is something. Um, she's also on

400
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,359
Speaker 1: her focusing on myself era right now because she just

401
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 1: got on vote relationship. We're raising our two kids, and yeah,

402
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,719
Speaker 1: we're getting back to our regular scheduling with like YouTube

403
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,800
Speaker 1: videos and stuff like that. I actually wanted to ask

404
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 1: you about, like podcasts. That's something that we wanted to do,

405
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: Like is this fun? Oh yeah. First of all, you

406
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,199
Speaker 1: can do it wherever the funk you want to, So

407
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 1: that's a number one. You can do that right there

408
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 1: where you're sitting, and you could do it with somebody

409
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:43,679
Speaker 1: you love to talk to. All you have to do

410
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,879
Speaker 1: is shoot the ship. That's so easy, right, Yeah, it

411
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,680
Speaker 1: I feel like it's more simpler than the YouTube video.

412
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 1: I feel like, even just now, I feel like I

413
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,719
Speaker 1: didn't even know we started when we started. But like,

414
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: but with YouTube, it's like, oh my gosh, you have

415
00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 1: to kind of follow like a story. Let's talk about

416
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,719
Speaker 1: this now, it's talk about this now, or I mean

417
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,040
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't even have guests on their podcast,

418
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 1: Like you and your sister could just hang out and

419
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 1: talk and have guests when you feel like it, because

420
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,200
Speaker 1: that way, you're just shooting the ship and you don't

421
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 1: have to have like an A, B and C cut

422
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 1: it up in any way. Because people do love to

423
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 1: hear you talk. It's just more of you to give people.

424
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,920
Speaker 1: So it's an easy thing to deliver. And I would say, yeah,

425
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 1: go for a podcast. It's another way to just gain

426
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 1: more people listening to you talking to you, and it

427
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 1: all feeds the other things, like it feeds the YouTube.

428
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 1: The YouTube feeds the podcast. And I also, I am

429
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 1: so tired of getting ready for you to I got

430
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 1: ready today and I just half when I was like

431
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 1: halfway done doing my makeup, I was like, wait, isn't

432
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 1: just it isn't it just our voice? Like why am

433
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 1: I getting ready? So yeah, I feel like with podcasts,

434
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 1: I don't have to get ready anymore. I could just

435
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,919
Speaker 1: show up right. Yeah, Well everything now is online, so

436
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter even though a podcast, Like I thought

437
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,640
Speaker 1: podcasts weren't makeup and hair, and now podcasts are. They

438
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 1: post them there on YouTube you can have them, so

439
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,679
Speaker 1: it's like it's basically a television all over again. It

440
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 1: called a podcast. Yeah, you look beautiful, by the way,

441
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,679
Speaker 1: your makeup is amazing, Like you do have a really

442
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 1: great knack for not for white women obviously because he

443
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: tried that on me, but you do have a great

444
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,360
Speaker 1: hand at makeup. I mean, look how beautiful he looks.

445
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you so much. That's so sweet. I

446
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: just grew up with too many women in my life,

447
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 1: I feel. And I grew up watching our version of

448
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,199
Speaker 1: super Bowl, which is in this universe in the Philippines.

449
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 1: We treat that ship like a super Bowl, and I

450
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 1: just grew up like in awe of hair and makeup

451
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,239
Speaker 1: and like watching these women in their heels and like

452
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 1: bikinis and gowns. And I just grew up watching that

453
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 1: and I wanted to be those women. And like the

454
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 1: third world country girls are always winning this universe because

455
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 1: we got the face. Yeah, you know the bone structure. Yeah,

456
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 1: why don't we get you're not kidding? Why don't we

457
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 1: get you into MRS Universe. That was actually my first gig,

458
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 1: and that was actually when I really I need to

459
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 1: I'm not an interviewer. My first gig ever was I

460
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 1: was sixteen years old. They did Miss Universe in the

461
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: Philippines and I hosted the red carpet thing, and that's

462
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 1: when I realized I cannot help. I truly do not

463
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: give a funk about other people, Like I cannot sit

464
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 1: there and pretend like I care what you're wearing. Um, so, yeah,

465
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,440
Speaker 1: I did Miss Universe, but I need to be a

466
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,479
Speaker 1: contestant honestly, or like a judge. Now that's what I'm

467
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 1: talking about, not the Red carpet. You need to be

468
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:31,360
Speaker 1: competing or a judge. Well no, I still you need

469
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: to maybe after you win, but you need to be

470
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 1: in the MISSRS Universe's pageant. Why not, right? I I

471
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 1: feel like I would be really good at the Q

472
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: and A portion and the bikini portion. Yeah yeah, anything,

473
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 1: Well that's yeah, well we'll see about that. I have.

474
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 1: Is that the thing that Donald Trump brons or is

475
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 1: that Miss America? Trust me, I looked it up. I

476
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 1: made sure I made sure that bitch was not running it.

477
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: When I posted the red carpet because I'm not having that, bitch,

478
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: So I my check. No, don't worry. He wouldn't sign

479
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: it anyway. He host like, how do I owe fucking

480
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 1: money for doing this? So Brettman on this podcast, we

481
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: have callers and people who write in for advice about life,

482
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: and so yeah, so we're gonna take some callers and

483
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,679
Speaker 1: Catherine's gonna read us some emails, and we're just going

484
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: to give off advice of what we think how they

485
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: should handle the situation. Okay, I feel like my first

486
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 1: advice would probably be don't take my advice. Okay, well, no, noted.

487
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: We'll keep that in there so that everyone is aware

488
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 1: not to take Brettman's advice. Thank you. I will say

489
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: advice though. Okay, good. Well we'll take a quick break

490
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 1: and we'll be back with some emails and calls to

491
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:47,360
Speaker 1: the commercial. And we're back from break. Brettman just took

492
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 1: a quick shower. You took a shower, right, Brettan you guys,

493
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 1: I actually needed an outfit change, so thank you for

494
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 1: letting me change. Okay, well, it looks like you're wearing

495
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,120
Speaker 1: the same exact thing, so it's all very suspicious. Well,

496
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:03,119
Speaker 1: our first email comes from be subject line is a

497
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: little slash big problem. Dear Chelsea. I recently went on

498
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: a few dates with this guy who checks all the

499
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,679
Speaker 1: boxes except for one thing. He told me he has

500
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,239
Speaker 1: a problem getting it up. He's thirty. I asked if

501
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 1: he takes anything for it, and he said nothing works.

502
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,159
Speaker 1: That's a huge problem because a healthy sex life is

503
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: a very important part of a relationship. To me, I

504
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 1: don't want to be the one to quote help him

505
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: fix it because I think I'm way too young to

506
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 1: have to deal with this issue. I'm seven. I think

507
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 1: there are so many other men in this world that

508
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 1: it's maybe just onto the next one. But I really

509
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: like him. Thoughts b m M, I have so many

510
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 1: questions with Chelsea. Would you like to go first? Now?

511
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 1: Why don't you go for ast Bretman Ladies first? Well,

512
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 1: that kind of like, honestly, when you were reading it,

513
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 1: it kind of just brought me back to Honestly, I

514
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: had a whole flashback, like whole Raven Stamoe moment when

515
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 1: I used to have a daddy at one point once

516
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 1: up one a time and he was house so like

517
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 1: in his thirties, and I wouldn't say he had a

518
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: hard time like getting it up, but he would always

519
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: be like, you have to squeeze it. So I would say,

520
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 1: have you tried squeezing it really hard? That's okay, Well

521
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 1: there you go. Uh So, squeeze his dick as hard

522
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: as you can and see what happens. And if nothing happens,

523
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 1: then you have your answer and you can stop dating him. Yeah. Yeah,

524
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 1: But also, do you believe in like those like aphrodisiacs

525
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. I'm very Filipino and we have

526
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 1: a lot of those ships. There's this one shot where

527
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,919
Speaker 1: like it's an alcohol shot and there's like a rattlesnake

528
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: inside and I guess it's they believe that it has

529
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 1: like afrodiziac components or whatever the funk. So if you

530
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: struggle like getting it up, I recommend getting a shot

531
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: of the Cobra liquor. Yeah. Okay, So those are two

532
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 1: great options for solutions. The other thing you can do

533
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: is like you can make a small amount of effort

534
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 1: to try and help him with his problem, like you know,

535
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 1: finding a sex therapyst. I'm sure that he hasn't really

536
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 1: sat down and run through all the options of what

537
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 1: might because there's there's something for everybody, there's an antidote

538
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 1: for everything. And you already said you're not going to

539
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: marry the guy, so it's okay for you to walk away,

540
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 1: but you can put in a little effort towards trying

541
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: to figure out what might help his situation, And then

542
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: I would agree with you, like only if you really

543
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 1: like him, I would agree that there are too many

544
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 1: men out there, if that is such an important thing

545
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: to you, which it is to me, Like I need

546
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: to get fucked too. I like sex, Yes, all the time,

547
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 1: Whenever I want it, I want it so like I

548
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: get that if if this won't work for you, it

549
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 1: won't work for you. But if you want to try

550
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 1: and make a little bit more of an effort, sit

551
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,959
Speaker 1: with a sex therapist, see if she has anything interesting

552
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: to say to him that he has never heard before,

553
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: or he can go on his own whatever. And then

554
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 1: if that doesn't work, because it could be something that

555
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 1: he hasn't tried, that he hasn't even thought about. There's

556
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 1: so much shame behind people when they can't perform sexually,

557
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 1: shame on both ends. You know, It's like it's shameful

558
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 1: for a girl when I've been around so many guys

559
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 1: who can't get it up, you know, due to my personality,

560
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 1: and I always blame myself. Like there was a period

561
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 1: where I thought something was seriously wrong with my vagina,

562
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 1: Like I had my friends look at it, I had

563
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: them smell it. I was like, it's something off here

564
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: because I need to know. And no, it had nothing

565
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: to do with you. Would you You're not, you know,

566
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 1: struggling with but yeah, if that's important to you, then

567
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 1: you know that doesn't sound like you're guy. So end

568
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: of story there. Yeah, And I have odd things fell

569
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,120
Speaker 1: trying men, you know, t him trying men. Oh, tell

570
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 1: him to try a man, Yeah, I mean yeah, and

571
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 1: I all things fail. We can give him Bretman's give

572
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 1: him Bret Fan's direct line. Yeah, and so he could

573
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: just get in touch with him right away. Would you

574
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,919
Speaker 1: like to get your dick squeezed in Hawaii because we

575
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: have the perfect handidate. Yes, thank you, thanks, yes, Well.

576
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 1: Our next question comes from D. And I didn't put

577
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: those next to each other on purpose, but this is D.

578
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 1: She's on the phone with us as well. She says,

579
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 1: dear chill, see, my boyfriend of seven years will not

580
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: propose to me. We've had many conversations about it. We've

581
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: both said out loud that we want to get married.

582
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: He treats me incredibly well, and we're best friends and

583
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: very much in love. However, I feel like I'm watching

584
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: him prioritize other pleasures before our future together. For example,

585
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: he has a monthly marijuana bill that he won't give

586
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 1: up and recently bought a PS five. Understandable, He's always

587
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: been able to be present despite these indulgences, and I

588
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: never want to criticize his lifestyle, especially when I thought

589
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 1: there was room for an engagement too. I thought that

590
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 1: the proposal process might be intimidating to him, so I

591
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: tried to take the pressure off and suggested we get

592
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: engaged as a team, pick out rings together and celebrate.

593
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 1: He insisted that isn't the way it's supposed to be.

594
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: He told me to email him styles of rings I like,

595
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: so I did. The first time I thought he might

596
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: pop the question was in October, when he took an

597
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 1: overnight trip to a comedy show in Detroit. It didn't happen.

598
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: I didn't realize how much a proposal disappointment would funk

599
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: with my head. It was brutal, but I kept my cool.

600
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: Then when we exchanged Christmas gifts, the big gift I

601
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 1: received was a speaker system for our TV, and I

602
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: don't know why he thought a soundbar and subwiffer was

603
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: a gift I would ever want or need. How do

604
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: I stay calm and centered about this? And what the

605
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: hell more can I say to convey how I'm feeling

606
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: about this to him? One more dashed proposal may take

607
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: a serious toll on my mental health. D Hi, d Hi,

608
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 1: d h hi d This is Brettman and Catherine. We're

609
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: all here for you today. Hello, it's so great to

610
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 1: be speaking with you all. I okay, so you want

611
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: to get married? Yes? So yeah. I was very angry

612
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 1: when I wrote in, but somehow I did not completely

613
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 1: go off on him. We got through the holidays together,

614
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 1: and I sat down with him and I just said,

615
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: really blatantly, I am ready to be engaged. I don't

616
00:29:56,040 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 1: see why we can't be engaged at this point, and

617
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: and I did suggest once again to just do it together,

618
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 1: like it doesn't have to all fall on his shoulders.

619
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 1: His response was he just had some car troubles and

620
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: he didn't want to propose over the holidays because we're

621
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: really busy. And his words where it will happen soon enough,

622
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: to which I replied, soon enough is not going to

623
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: work for me. So um, oh no, it's it's okay.

624
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 1: So I said that wasn't gonna work for me. I

625
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: really need to know that it's like a priority for

626
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 1: you as much as it is for me. So he

627
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: said no, seriously, like it's a priority now, it's going

628
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: to happen soon, I promised, And after talking to him,

629
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: like he's never said that much information about this topic before.

630
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: So I did feel a lot better at that point. Okay,

631
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: And how are you feeling now? Now I'm feeling good.

632
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,719
Speaker 1: I think I just need him to know. And I

633
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 1: did say this when you think a proposal is coming

634
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: up and then like special dates happened and you go

635
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: on a trip or something like you think it's going

636
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: to happen, and so I just it's a real mind fuck,

637
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: Like I was stunned by how much it impacted like

638
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: my mental state. Right, Okay, So is there a timeline

639
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 1: where if he doesn't propose, you're done. No, I didn't

640
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 1: make it like an ultimatum thing, like I was really

641
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: scared to bring it up to be honest, because I

642
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: don't want to sound like some kind of pressuring nag. Yeah, no,

643
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds like he's going to propose to you.

644
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 1: I mean, and he hasn't said that much yet, right

645
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: thus far, he thought was the most he said about it, right,

646
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 1: the most committed he's been about it. Yes, like we've

647
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: talked about marriage of course, like it wasn't really a

648
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: question of what there it would happen or not, but

649
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: he always like laughed it off before if it was

650
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: brought up like that was the first time that we

651
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: had a serious conversation about it. I don't know if

652
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: it's like because of the element of surprise that we

653
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: never talked about it more in a less ambiguous way.

654
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,959
Speaker 1: But if I brought it up before, it was like

655
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: kind of laughed off by him or just subject changed.

656
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 1: So that there's progress. Right in that conversation, it sounds

657
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 1: like there is her husban. Yes, that was the best

658
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: conversation we've probably had about it so far. And when

659
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: was that? That was right around the holidays? Okay, Well,

660
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 1: I think it sounds like it's going in the direction

661
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 1: you want you. I just think you need to like

662
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: relax a little bit. Your timeline isn't his timeline. You're

663
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: not and you don't have you don't need to be

664
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,239
Speaker 1: on a timeline. You're young. You know, like it's a

665
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 1: matter of months. I think we're talking about at this point.

666
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 1: You know, if six months goes by and he doesn't propose,

667
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 1: then yeah, then you need to give him an ultimatum.

668
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 1: But I think what you said was perfect. The way

669
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 1: you put it, like this is a priority for me,

670
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 1: and not giving him an ultimatum is really good. You

671
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: know that was strong. You made yourself be heard. He understands.

672
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: I don't think him buying a ps what is it called,

673
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 1: brettan a ps PS six is going to interfere that much.

674
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: I think five. I'm sorry, I'm not straight, So he

675
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 1: doesn't know. He doesn't know. Bretman, what are your thoughts

676
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: on this topic of marriage. I'm kind of just like

677
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: thinking about where how he values marriage, because for me,

678
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: I come from like a very traumatizing marriage of like parents,

679
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 1: and so the way I see marriage is different from

680
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: other people. I'm also at the age where like all

681
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: of my friends are getting engaged and they're so excited

682
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: about it, and it's like everything they ever like think

683
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: of it. I'm just like, oh my gosh, if I

684
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: ever got engaged, I feel like I would say no,

685
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: Like I I don't know, marriage to me kind of

686
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: scares me sometimes. So it's it's so cool to see

687
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: like that you're so excited for it, because I think

688
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: my parents will went marriage from me. So I almost

689
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 1: want to ask you, like if he had bad experiences

690
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: like with marriage, and if that's why he's kind of

691
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 1: like scared to get engaged, or even the idea of

692
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 1: getting engaged, like probably scared him. I don't. I don't know.

693
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: We don't know where his mind's at. I think that's

694
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: a really good point. I mean, we both come from

695
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:25,839
Speaker 1: divorced parents, so that definitely could be impacting him. I

696
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 1: also wondered too, if again, the conversation was so ambiguous before.

697
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: I wonder if I was more straightforward like earlier on

698
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 1: like maybe we would be engaged right now. But I

699
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: totally hear what you're saying. I think though, that you

700
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 1: were you listen, it doesn't matter what you did before, Like,

701
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: don't blame yourself for this, Like you're playing in reverse

702
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 1: and future instead of playing in the present. You put

703
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: it out there with integrity. You said what you did

704
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 1: without whining, or you said it like, Okay, this is

705
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 1: what's important to me and you've got to level up,

706
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: and that is really dignified. So enjoy the moment that

707
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 1: you're in, let him come to you, and have it

708
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,399
Speaker 1: just a time period in your mind that is that's

709
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: not going to be work for you anymore. You know,

710
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,879
Speaker 1: if it gets past, say six months, and you want

711
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 1: to say, listen, I told you what I needed. You

712
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: didn't listen, And now we have to talk about like

713
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 1: what what we're doing? Are we breaking up? Are we

714
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 1: going to stay together? Because my future this is what

715
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 1: I want. I mean, are you willing to break up

716
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: with him if he doesn't want to marry you? Is

717
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: that something? I mean? In the grand scheme of things,

718
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 1: it's a really good relationship. I wouldn't go so far

719
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 1: as to say that right now, but it feels like

720
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 1: I know him really well. So now that we talked

721
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 1: like it, it feels like I know that it's coming,

722
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 1: whereas before I could tell that it wasn't coming. And yeah,

723
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 1: I mean again, it's a good relationship, So I don't

724
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 1: I don't think I would go so far as to

725
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 1: say that. Now. Okay, okay, well you've got all that,

726
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 1: You've done everything you can possibly do. You just have

727
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: to let it go and let it happen. Let him

728
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: come to you. I bet you he's going to do

729
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 1: something really, really special for your engagement. And I bet

730
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: you're gonna look back at all of the times where

731
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: you were upset. Who wants to get proposed to? And

732
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 1: fuck Detroit? I mean, what are you talking about? You know,

733
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 1: a comedy club in Detroit. That's not the right time

734
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 1: for him to propose to you. Maybe he's also waiting

735
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 1: to take you on Chelsea's comedy tour. That's where you

736
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: get proposed, That's where you get engaged. Oh my goodness,

737
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 1: that would be such a thrill and it'd be such

738
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 1: a full circle thing. And I I only let gay

739
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: people get engaged at my shows, so we're very discriminatory

740
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: at my shows. But you know what I mean, like

741
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: your ideas and his ideas, your two separate personalities. I

742
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 1: tell Joe this all the time, because Joe has a

743
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 1: completely different person and he doesn't understand why. Like I

744
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 1: don't get excited about anything, He'll be like he gets

745
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 1: excited to wake up in the morning and I'm like,

746
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,760
Speaker 1: pipe down, you know, and he doesn't, and I always

747
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,919
Speaker 1: have to go Joe, I'm not you. I don't think

748
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 1: like about you know. I could say a two walk

749
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: in the morning, let's go, I want to go ice skating.

750
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: He'll be like, let's go. Like I will never have

751
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 1: that reaction for him. If he says let's go ice

752
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 1: skating at two in the morning, I'll say, fuck you,

753
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 1: like I'm not going ice skating. But you have to

754
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 1: remind yourself you're two different people. You have two different outlooks.

755
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: You know, your outlook is not his, your imprint is

756
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:20,399
Speaker 1: not his, and your life experiences are not his. So

757
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 1: let him come to this. You've made yourself very clear

758
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen. Everything's gonna work out, And just be

759
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 1: proud of the way that you conducted yourself and don't

760
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 1: stop around and don't do anything else until it does happen.

761
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: You know, don't have the expectations even if you go

762
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 1: away for a night, don't put that in there. Just

763
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 1: remember what you just told me. This is a really

764
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,439
Speaker 1: good relationship. Enjoy being in it because so many people

765
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 1: don't have that. Yeah, And also I would say communicate

766
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 1: at about stuff before it's like, oh my god, I'm

767
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 1: going out of my mind about this. Like bring it

768
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 1: up early, get it out there, start talking about it.

769
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,399
Speaker 1: And also tell him that a subwoffer is not what

770
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 1: you would have wanted to tell him. He needs to

771
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,839
Speaker 1: get you gifts for you, not gifts they wants themselves. Yeah.

772
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: Men are so fucking stupid with gifts. I mean honestly.

773
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 1: I mean my driver bought his wife a blender for

774
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: their fiftieth anniversary. I had to take it away from him. Yeah.

775
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 1: I had to go in. I had to get jewelry

776
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,879
Speaker 1: out of my jewelry and say, give this to her.

777
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 1: This is ridiculous. You're gonna give her a fucking blender. Yeah, No,

778
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 1: it wasn't. Okay if I wouldn't know a blend tech

779
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 1: if I hopped inside it and spun around myself. But

780
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm assuming it wasn't because Billy just doesn't know what

781
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,240
Speaker 1: he's doing. But d you also just have to remember

782
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,760
Speaker 1: one other thing. This is a great thing to remember

783
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 1: to like use this experience moving forward. When you guys

784
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,800
Speaker 1: do get married and you start a family or whatever

785
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 1: your dreams are, remember this because you had expectations. You

786
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 1: weren't sharing with him, and then you did, and you

787
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 1: feel a lot differently now. So yeah, use this as

788
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: a guide for your further communication in the future of

789
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: this relationship. Absolutely, and that makes a lot of sense. Yeah,

790
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: and let us know what happens. Keep us posted, okay, yeah,

791
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: oh yes, I will definitely let you know when it happens.

792
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: I'll send the cliche I said, yes, and then we

793
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 1: could have Brettan officiate the wedding. It'll be like it'll

794
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: be a slam dunk. No, you said, finally not yet.

795
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 1: I love that. Thanks so much. Do we wish you

796
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: a big surprise when it finally happens. So much for

797
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 1: having me on. I really admire your work, Chelsea. You're welcome.

798
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: De nice to speak with you. Nice to speak with you.

799
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: I Chelsea, you are so good at these advices the

800
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 1: way I would have been like um been proposed to him.

801
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Well, most people are just calling in because

802
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: they just need comfort, right, don't you think? I think so.

803
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: They just want someone to tell them that it's going

804
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 1: to happen. Do you know how many times when something

805
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 1: went wrong with the guy that I was dating, or

806
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 1: someone didn't call me, or I hooked up with a

807
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,280
Speaker 1: guy and didn't hear from him. I would go around

808
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: the world and so I got every answer that I wanted,

809
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: which who was from people who had nothing to do

810
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 1: with my experience. You know, like those experience where you'd

811
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: give somebody your number and then and then you're talking

812
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 1: to your girlfriends like maybe he lost it. Maybe maybe

813
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 1: he died on a bicycle accident on the way home

814
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: from our day. Maybe he's dead. It's like, no, no,

815
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 1: he's not fucking calling you because he's not interested. Stop

816
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 1: creating bullshit around basic fundamentals, and then you just picked

817
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: the answer that you like, right exactly. Well. Our next

818
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:44,919
Speaker 1: question comes from Sarah. Sarah says, Dear Chelsea, I'm thirty

819
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 1: years old and have been with my boyfriend for four years.

820
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 1: We met working at a restaurant when we were in

821
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: our teens, ran it together along with our friends until

822
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: We've had our ups and downs, just like any other couple.

823
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,280
Speaker 1: But I know he's my person and we both feel

824
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,720
Speaker 1: that on a soul level. I recently back to school

825
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 1: for massage therapy and started working at a local coffee

826
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,839
Speaker 1: shop for a flexible, easy job to get me through

827
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: It's been great so far, but I'm the oldest employee.

828
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: All the other girls are late teens or early twenties.

829
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 1: The other day, a co worker asked if I was

830
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 1: by I wasn't offended or anything, as I know I

831
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: give off that vibe, but I nonchalantly said no. She

832
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,280
Speaker 1: stared at me a while asked if I was sure

833
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: because her and another employee's gaidar went off when I

834
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 1: first started, and they wanted to ask me about it.

835
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 1: They think that I have unlocked potential. I don't, though

836
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 1: I don't consider myself anything but straight. It's not like

837
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: I've never been attracted to women, but I've never experimented before,

838
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: and it's not something I could fathom inside my current relationship.

839
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I have talked about it in the past,

840
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,720
Speaker 1: but we're both uncomfortable inviting another person into our sex life.

841
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: I'd be super jealous, and so would he. We both

842
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:55,439
Speaker 1: have anxiety, and I think I'd be excited but freak

843
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 1: out when it came time to get down to business.

844
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 1: Neither of us want to share each other. Even in

845
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,720
Speaker 1: the situation. He gave me a whole pass of sorts

846
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: to experiment on my own. I feel as if I

847
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 1: was cheating. I do watch girl on girl porn sometimes,

848
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 1: but it's always when he's not around. He knows and

849
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,919
Speaker 1: doesn't seem bothered by it. My question is this, are

850
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,120
Speaker 1: these young whipper snappers right? Even though I don't feel

851
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: I identify at all with being by there is something there.

852
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 1: It's just not something I can explore. While in my

853
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: current relationship, and while we aren't married, we planned to

854
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: be together for the long haul. I can't imagine my

855
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: life with anyone else. What do I do if anything? Sarah? Well,

856
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 1: first I would say, don't let two girls in a

857
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: coffee shop convince you that you're interested in fucking them

858
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 1: when you're in a perfectly happy relationship just because they

859
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 1: may be interested in fucking you. Uh, That's the first thing,

860
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: doesn't seem I mean, if someone comes up to you

861
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 1: and says I think you might be attractive, even if

862
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: it were a man, and said I think you love

863
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 1: me and you don't know it yet, what's your response

864
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 1: to that? Exactly? And listen, First of all, I watch

865
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 1: girl on girl porn too. I love girl on girl

866
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,360
Speaker 1: porn like that is where and I'm not a lesbian.

867
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 1: But I've also been with women, not in a relationship,

868
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 1: but I've experimented with women sexually, and everyone's a little by.

869
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 1: Of course you're a little by, honestly, even I am,

870
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: even I am, I had girlfriends, Yeah, exactly, even Bretton

871
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: is by. Okay, so there you have it. Everyone's a

872
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: little bit by. But it's more of like your you

873
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: call this person your soul mate, like that's then that's

874
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 1: your answer, that's your guy. And these aren't feelings that

875
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 1: were born in your mind. They were feelings that were

876
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 1: brought to you by two people that you work with,

877
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: and that therefore I declare them invalid. Breton also like

878
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:47,760
Speaker 1: gen Z just loves calling everybody gay, so honestly, it's

879
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,919
Speaker 1: it's just probably like the gen Z nous that that's

880
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 1: telling you that you're gay, because everyone that's in gen

881
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: Z like swears everyone's gay honestly, so yeah, don't listen

882
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,040
Speaker 1: to them. Yeah. I feel like gen Z is the

883
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,319
Speaker 1: first generation that gets that it's just sexuality as a

884
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: false spectrum, Like it's just you know, you can be

885
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: in a straight man and woman relationship, but like that

886
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily mean that you're not queer. It just means like,

887
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,959
Speaker 1: for somebody who does have those feelings. It just means

888
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: that like you did find your person, but also, like,

889
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 1: how do you look by? Like you know what I mean? Panies?

890
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: I think crocs, crocs for sure? Like what is because

891
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: like I feel like there's a gala lesbian love everything

892
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 1: between what is a by love? You know, Well, there's

893
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 1: not going to be a look for by in a

894
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: twenty more years because everyone is gonna be by and

895
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,320
Speaker 1: it's gonna be like you know, like I could easily

896
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 1: be turned on by a woman. I could definitely be

897
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:44,800
Speaker 1: sexually turned on by a woman. I don't want to

898
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 1: be in a relationship with a woman. I want to

899
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 1: be in a relationship with Joe. So like, yeah, you

900
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: could work around and have sex with a bunch of people,

901
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 1: but that doesn't sound like it's going to be good

902
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 1: for your relationship, especially if you aren't by yet. If

903
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 1: you're straight and you start working around, it doesn't work

904
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: well with straight people. Well, they have to acclimate to

905
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:06,240
Speaker 1: that mindset, and that's an open door policy, wide open yes.

906
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 1: So I think Sarah, like keep watching girl on girl

907
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 1: porn and watch your girls on girl porn and think

908
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: about those two baristas at your coffee place if you

909
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: need to, but don't let it go any further than that. Perfect.

910
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: Don't you feel like everybody's bisexual? Oh? I absolutely do this. Okay,

911
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 1: so this is a very interesting thing. So there's a

912
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,720
Speaker 1: young woman in my life who is like middle teens

913
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 1: sort of exploring the dating world, and her dad, who

914
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 1: is in his four like mid forties, he was sort

915
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: of like, yeah, you know, she has a little girlfriend,

916
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: but like, it's just a phase, and and it it

917
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 1: felt so outdated to me to think about it as

918
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 1: a phase when it's like, no, like she likes girls,

919
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: and you know, we'll see where she winds up. But

920
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: it just was interesting to me. Yeah. Well, I think

921
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 1: anybody over fifty, you know, any male over a fifty

922
00:45:56,800 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 1: that's why is usually doesn't understand what's happening, Like they don't.

923
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 1: Women are a little bit more understanding of like, okay,

924
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: things need to change, whereas men are like, hmmmm, they

925
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 1: just don't want to be a part of it. That

926
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 1: they don't even necessarily have a problem with it, but

927
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 1: they don't want to be involved actively right writing it off. Yeah,

928
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,920
Speaker 1: and yeah, and that that's like as soon as you

929
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: think like, oh, this is too much for me to understand,

930
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 1: you kind of have to be like, Okay, listen if

931
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 1: you want to be a full person, especially if you

932
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 1: have a child like that. I know it's they say

933
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 1: it's hard for men to accept their daughters being lesbians.

934
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 1: It's like, fuck off, Fuck the funk off. It's hard

935
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 1: for you. Why are you fucking your daughter who gives

936
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,399
Speaker 1: a ship? Yeah, why do you have a problem, Like

937
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,839
Speaker 1: it's harder for men. Everything is so hard for men

938
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, And it's also like being a

939
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 1: lesbian is like the safest relationship your daughter could be in.

940
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 1: Like you, what about you, Bretman? When you came out?

941
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 1: Did you come out to your parents or did they know?

942
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: I actually don't have a coming out story. My mom

943
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: always knew I was gay. I feel like when I

944
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: came out out there like it's the gay. But yeah,

945
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 1: my mom always knew I was gay. My dad always

946
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 1: knew I was gay. But also like my grandma, going

947
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,959
Speaker 1: back to her, she explained to my dad that I

948
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 1: was like going to be gay, like when I was

949
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 1: super young, and so like she was like if you

950
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,280
Speaker 1: messed with him, like you messed with me type of energy.

951
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 1: So I have always been supported. Like my first time

952
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 1: going to church, my grandma put blush on me, and

953
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:26,919
Speaker 1: I swear I was with the countiest angel in there.

954
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: And so to be honest, I've always been supported, and

955
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: it kind of transferred to like my family members. My

956
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 1: cousin daughter who is gay now, she just came out

957
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 1: and she came up to me. She was like, ohh,

958
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: I love that I had a gay uncle growing up

959
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 1: because it's was so much easier for me to like

960
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 1: express myself because we all, like her mom is very

961
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 1: religious and so she had a hard time with that.

962
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 1: But like now she's fine, Like she's out and proud,

963
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 1: and she is out and proud like younger than I was,

964
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 1: So that's cool. Also, I a lot of my family

965
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: member are like gay man, so it's it's cute to

966
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 1: have like a lesbian around. Finally everyone needs a lesbian

967
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: around exactly. Yeah. But also like I have a trance

968
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 1: cousin that I grew up with growing up, and so

969
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 1: I just grew up surrounded by like such loving accepting

970
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:23,240
Speaker 1: people and people themselves. How cool is your grandmother saying

971
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 1: like yeah, you you funk with him, You're working with me,

972
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:29,160
Speaker 1: Like that's great energy to Brannant. I have reasons to

973
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,320
Speaker 1: believe that she like put a spell on her pussy

974
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 1: because she has seven kids and each one of them

975
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 1: has a gay, has a gay each one of them.

976
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 1: So my dad has me, my dad's twin has a gay,

977
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:44,399
Speaker 1: and then like so on, like all her kids has

978
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,240
Speaker 1: a gay daughter or a son. Wow, It's it's so weird.

979
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 1: And so she has like seven gay cousins. I have

980
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,879
Speaker 1: seven gay cousins from my dad. It was so from

981
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 1: the moment you said I think something was there was

982
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 1: a hex put on her pussy or something, it was

983
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 1: like deja vu. It was like, I've had this conversation

984
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 1: with you before, and you've told me that before, but

985
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: you never have I knew you were going to say

986
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:09,359
Speaker 1: that your brother, your father, his brother, twin brother you said, right.

987
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 1: I even knew you were going to say twin brother.

988
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 1: It was so deja vu. It was like, yeah, I

989
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 1: think I told you that. No, you haven't told you that. No,

990
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 1: I have. There's I just grew up with too many

991
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 1: of me, So I was just like Grandma's here, Grandma's

992
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 1: bear telling us about it. Yeah. Well, our next email

993
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:32,399
Speaker 1: comes from Alex and by the way, Alex's twenty eight,

994
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 1: and the other person he's talking about here is twenty one.

995
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: Alex says, I have a large problem, like large penis,

996
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: like a large problem, like a large one. I've been

997
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 1: dating my ex on and off for about three years.

998
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,759
Speaker 1: We've been together more than we've been apart. I've been

999
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 1: struggling so much with possibly getting back together. Wait, hold

1000
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 1: on on, don't wait, what you're dating your ex? Oh?

1001
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:04,040
Speaker 1: This one? Your like? Which are you bating? That is?

1002
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 1: That is the crux of the issue here, Brettman. So

1003
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: I'm really hoping that you can help. We always say

1004
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 1: that we love each other, we just never worked because

1005
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 1: we're different people. Lately, through therapy, I learned that I

1006
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,319
Speaker 1: have so much guilt about being gay and having a

1007
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 1: relationship that this was the reason I broke up with

1008
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: him each time we have both been dating other people,

1009
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: but at the same time having a friends with benefits

1010
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,399
Speaker 1: relationship as well. We've said that we'll stop when someone

1011
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:30,320
Speaker 1: starts dating someone seriously, but I'm not really actively pursuing

1012
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 1: anyone because I want to get back together with him.

1013
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 1: We're being very coupily with our hangouts, like going on

1014
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 1: friend dates and sleeping in the same bed together, buying

1015
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 1: each other, dinners, kissing, etcetera. We've had so many good

1016
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: conversations that we would never have had before when we

1017
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: were dating. I think it's because of the work I've

1018
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 1: done in therapy. I've been thinking about making a grand

1019
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 1: gesture like rose pedals, getting him a cat that he's

1020
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,959
Speaker 1: always wanted. I'm allergic, by the way, renting a suit,

1021
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,879
Speaker 1: I mean, the whole nine yards. At the same time, though,

1022
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 1: I don't want to mess up our friendship or make

1023
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:04,359
Speaker 1: it weird because we do live together. Oh wait, I'm

1024
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 1: not sure I said that we lived together. He moved

1025
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 1: in in November. I love him so much, but I

1026
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 1: just don't want to hurt him, and I don't want

1027
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:13,319
Speaker 1: to try this again if it's going to end the

1028
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 1: same way what they moved in together after they broke up.

1029
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: I'm just having such a hard time knowing what to do.

1030
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:24,239
Speaker 1: Please help, Alex. Is this the same sex couple? Yes,

1031
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, that's the gayest I've ever heard.

1032
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god, kissing, What the kissing is it? Once

1033
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: you're kissing somebody, aren't you together? And living together? Like

1034
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 1: living together and sleeping with other people while you're with somebody.

1035
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 1: What is that? Oh my god, I sound like I'm

1036
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 1: judging you. It's low key I'm jealous, But also what

1037
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 1: is that, Loki? I am judging you. You need to

1038
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 1: get your ship together and fucking confront the situation. This

1039
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 1: is like dilly dallying and keeping everything in a gray area.

1040
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 1: And as somebody needs to move or somebody needs to

1041
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 1: have a conversation and then you can maybe stay together

1042
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 1: and live together if they want to be together. Alex

1043
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,080
Speaker 1: wants to be with him, so we just have to

1044
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 1: find out if the partner, the ex boyfriend, who is that?

1045
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 1: I could not get over that? Well, yeah, yeah, they

1046
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,400
Speaker 1: need to Just you have to nip this in the bud.

1047
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:23,759
Speaker 1: And I don't under I want people behave this way

1048
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:26,719
Speaker 1: and don't face a situation head on. I get frustrated

1049
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 1: because you are post You are postponing your reality. Yes,

1050
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:34,400
Speaker 1: you are postponing your future. You are postponing your reality

1051
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 1: in the hopes that this person is going to come around.

1052
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 1: Maybe they've already come around. Just put it out there,

1053
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 1: I have the conversation, and also be ready to accept

1054
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,239
Speaker 1: that it might not go your way, and then you

1055
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: have to find a new roommate. Jesus. Yeah, it sounds

1056
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 1: like they kind of already are that couple that he

1057
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 1: wants to be. It sounds like there is completely in

1058
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 1: a relationship that they're living together, Like are they living

1059
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: in separate rooms? I don't know the answer to that.

1060
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 1: But you know what I noticed too, that there's actually

1061
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,640
Speaker 1: like people out there who loves and thrive off like

1062
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: toxic relationships. I don't know, I think I've watched it

1063
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,919
Speaker 1: for you, but it's getting like Maddie and Nate vibe

1064
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 1: like they know they're not good for each other, but

1065
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 1: they love the toxickness of it, Like that's what that's

1066
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 1: what the relationship thrives off. I don't get it personally,

1067
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 1: but if that works for you, Alex, Like he says

1068
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 1: he doesn't get it personally, this is someone who got

1069
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 1: back together with his act seven or eight times. I

1070
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:38,000
Speaker 1: don't get anymore personally. Straight up, Yeah, straight up, I

1071
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,760
Speaker 1: used to get it. You need to get your ship together, Alex.

1072
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 1: Get your ship together, okay, and treat this situation with dignity,

1073
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 1: and it deserves to be treated with dignity, and skating

1074
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 1: around the issue is undignified. Just have a face to

1075
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: face conversation, be prepared for the news that you don't

1076
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 1: want to hear. Even though it sounds like you're already

1077
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,880
Speaker 1: in a relationship with this person, I'm more confused than

1078
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 1: I was before you read that, lad or so suck it. Also,

1079
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: don't put the cat in that situation hat Like, oh

1080
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 1: my god, that is my biggest Yeah, if you want

1081
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 1: to be with this person, like, don't get a cat

1082
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,880
Speaker 1: that you're allergic to, exactly like this, you're allergic to

1083
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 1: the person already, You're gonna get another thing you're allergic

1084
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,359
Speaker 1: to the girl. Yeah, my prediction is if you don't

1085
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,279
Speaker 1: say anything and you get this cat, you're going to

1086
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 1: be the one looking for a new place because you're

1087
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 1: gonna have a bad reaction to that cat and then

1088
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:28,360
Speaker 1: nothing's going to go your way. So definitely, don't buy

1089
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 1: make any grand gestures until you get the answer that

1090
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 1: you guys are going to continue being in a relationship

1091
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:41,760
Speaker 1: and it's a cat and nobody wants that. Nobody wants that. Well,

1092
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,279
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we'll be back with

1093
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: Brettman and Chelsea. I need a fucking break after that

1094
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 1: convoluted email, and we're back. Brettman had a peepee break.

1095
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 1: He had a shower a break. Do you have to

1096
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,719
Speaker 1: do any pottery or anything. No, I just have to

1097
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:07,320
Speaker 1: walk my dogs. Well, yeah, I have two new dogs,

1098
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 1: can sam. I have four dogs now I don't have them,

1099
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 1: they're out right now, but I have like all the

1100
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 1: bulldog family. I have a pibble Terrier, I have a

1101
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:19,440
Speaker 1: shorty bull, I have a pocket people and a French bulldog. Oh.

1102
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:22,399
Speaker 1: You know, French bulldogs are like all the rage right

1103
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: now and Stanley well, and not in a good way.

1104
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,080
Speaker 1: People are stealing French bulldogs off of people in San

1105
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,840
Speaker 1: Francisco because so many people have French bulldogs that people

1106
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 1: will go out and their dogs are being kidnapped and

1107
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,800
Speaker 1: then sold on the black market for ten or fifteen

1108
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:41,439
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. People are buying French bulldogs. French bulldog. Yeah,

1109
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 1: that's I think that's to be fair. I would I

1110
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,879
Speaker 1: would probably dog not burn and berneithe as well, so

1111
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 1: I do see where they're coming. Well, by the way,

1112
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:51,200
Speaker 1: you would have to because they have as a little

1113
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 1: inclination to move as anybody as a vegetable, so you

1114
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 1: would have you would have to kidnap them, just like

1115
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,400
Speaker 1: I have to kidnap them. I would just dress up

1116
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:02,319
Speaker 1: as your house peper, honestly, because they go to her. Well,

1117
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 1: those are some big shoes to fill, so we'll get

1118
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:06,799
Speaker 1: we'll get you the right outfit. Yeah, they're pretty freaking

1119
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 1: cute though, My dogs, they're so cute. I could I

1120
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 1: could never get like hairy dogs. I I don't know,

1121
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 1: how do you like have to like clean everything all

1122
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 1: the time. Well, and even with my short hair dogs,

1123
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 1: their hairs everywhere already, I can't imagine. Well, that's the thing.

1124
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,840
Speaker 1: Some long hair dogs don't shed. They shed like twice

1125
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 1: a year, So these dogs actually don't shed that badly.

1126
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,960
Speaker 1: It's short hair dogs shed more in some instances. But

1127
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,600
Speaker 1: my dogs, no, I don't brush their fucking hair. Let's

1128
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 1: be honest. I'm not doing any of that stuff. But

1129
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,799
Speaker 1: they are getting that stuff done to them. But last

1130
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: night Bert took a shdubi in the kitchen, and I

1131
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 1: know that was a sign that was saying fuck you,

1132
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:47,279
Speaker 1: because he doesn't ever go shudubi at night. It's only

1133
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,279
Speaker 1: in the morning and the daytime. But he went in

1134
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 1: the kitchen like left it in there. Because Joe came

1135
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 1: home late last night and I was already asleep, and

1136
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 1: that was his way of saying, there's too much commotion

1137
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 1: going on funk this ship. He usually sleeps in the

1138
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 1: bed with me, but when Joe's there, I don't have

1139
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 1: him in the bed because Joe doesn't understand why dogs

1140
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: are in the bed. He said, you can have it

1141
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 1: whatever makes you happy, and I was like, well, Bert

1142
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 1: makes me happy, and He's like, yeah, so why don't

1143
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,399
Speaker 1: you go fucking sleep upstairs and Bert can sleep down here.

1144
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 1: All I wanted to do is wake up with Bert's

1145
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:18,080
Speaker 1: soft for. You know, I want to put my hand

1146
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 1: down and feel that soft for That's how I want

1147
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: to wake up every single day. Yeah, honestly, I left

1148
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 1: with my dog for the first time in like a

1149
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 1: couple of months because the girl she was always like

1150
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 1: doing stuff in the middle of the night. But like

1151
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 1: last night, she did so good, like we actually cuddled.

1152
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 1: I don't sleep with all of my dogs. I also

1153
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 1: don't want to wake up smelling like a dog every day.

1154
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:41,400
Speaker 1: But yeah, I love my dogs. I'm such a dog person.

1155
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 1: Did you always have like dogs going up, Miss Chelsea?

1156
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:47,920
Speaker 1: I always Yeah, we always had dogs always MutS and rescues,

1157
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 1: you know, like weird dogs that were just like half wolf,

1158
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 1: half German shepherd or some mixture. But I always loved

1159
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: chows because they look like teddy bears and they are.

1160
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 1: They look like real live bears that are just beading

1161
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 1: around your house. They're so fucking cute. And I've had

1162
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,400
Speaker 1: these dogs for I don't know how many long how

1163
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 1: many years, but I just cannot They never become less cute,

1164
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. They stay cute. A dog

1165
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 1: has to have such a shitty personality to become less cute,

1166
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 1: and I've met dogs like that. That dog. Yeah, it's

1167
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 1: always the ankle bikers, always the ankle bite and the Pomeranians,

1168
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 1: like they're adorable when they're groomed and they have and

1169
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 1: then their personality sucks. It's like you don't like anyone

1170
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,280
Speaker 1: but your owner. Then I, yeah, I have nothing for you.

1171
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 1: So and they they get really old and they really

1172
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,800
Speaker 1: look like they're decaying sometimes, Like have you seen like

1173
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 1: really old like small dogs before? Not to talk about them,

1174
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 1: but I'm just like, girl, put this girl out of

1175
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 1: her misery, like her eyes are popping out, like her tongue, yeah,

1176
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 1: having out of her nostro Like, yeah, sometimes you can

1177
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:56,080
Speaker 1: put dogs down a little bit earlier, especially if they

1178
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 1: start to look bad. Yeah, my neighbor had a dog

1179
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 1: like that, and it was exactly like exactly like you said,

1180
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 1: like I think it's eyes were gone, like it couldn't walk.

1181
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:05,280
Speaker 1: It was like I think he said it was nineteen

1182
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 1: years old something crazy, And I like, I just was

1183
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 1: like this, this dog is not having fun being alive

1184
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:15,640
Speaker 1: because you go to the bat and they're like, he's

1185
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 1: totally healthy. Yeah. Well, Brettman, did you have a piece

1186
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,000
Speaker 1: of advice you'd like to ask for from Chelsea? Yes,

1187
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 1: actually I have I need to ask for two advice actually,

1188
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:31,439
Speaker 1: because um, I really admire Miss Chelsea's work. I really do,

1189
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:34,920
Speaker 1: and right now I am I'm wanting to write a

1190
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 1: book and I know you have like six best sellers

1191
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 1: are who really is counting these days? So I would say, like,

1192
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 1: how do you not run out of things to write about,

1193
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 1: Miss Chelsea? Because I feel like I feel like I

1194
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 1: don't even have anything to write about it anymore. Oh well,

1195
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:51,360
Speaker 1: you well, if you're in the process of writing or

1196
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:53,959
Speaker 1: getting close to finishing something, that's how you always feel

1197
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 1: like you'll never be able to write another thing or

1198
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 1: write anything. But just trust your life experience is what's

1199
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 1: going to give you the material to always have something

1200
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:04,920
Speaker 1: to talk about everything that's going on with you. You

1201
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:06,880
Speaker 1: know what I mean, You're never going to run out

1202
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,439
Speaker 1: of that, So just don't even put that in your head.

1203
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,320
Speaker 1: Just know like there's more coming down the pike. You

1204
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 1: have like this huge, busy life. It's material every single day,

1205
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 1: and when you get to a place where you're ready

1206
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 1: to go do it again, you start to draw from

1207
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,440
Speaker 1: all that. And even when something great or a funny

1208
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 1: story happens to you, or a funny experience or something

1209
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 1: outlandish or crazy, just make sure you're like make it,

1210
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 1: like have a note section in your phone to write

1211
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:35,840
Speaker 1: things down, because you'll be surprised. All I need is

1212
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 1: one sentence and I can write a chapter about it.

1213
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 1: And when you're a creative, that's almost everyone can do it.

1214
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 1: It's just that so many people don't try to do it.

1215
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 1: So writing a book is a very I think natural

1216
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 1: thing for anyone, especially anyone with a big personality likes

1217
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:54,200
Speaker 1: to share and likes to talk about themselves. It's no problem.

1218
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:56,440
Speaker 1: What is your your favorite book that you wrote, Like

1219
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: out of all the books you've written, Like, what is

1220
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 1: like the one my most recent book would be Life

1221
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:03,160
Speaker 1: would be the Death of Me, but it's always my

1222
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 1: most recent book. That's my favorite. That felt like it

1223
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: had my humor, but it also was deep and profound,

1224
01:01:10,440 --> 01:01:13,400
Speaker 1: and it helped people, and it showed aside to me

1225
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 1: that I've grown up with my whole life, but I

1226
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:17,920
Speaker 1: didn't know no one else had seen. So it was

1227
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 1: really kind of nice to share that with my fans

1228
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 1: and people and have the reaction. So that's definitely my best,

1229
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:26,840
Speaker 1: my best work, I think. I love that. Oh my gosh. Wait.

1230
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 1: My second advice actually I kind of already hinted it earlier,

1231
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 1: but I want to do a podcast with my sister, Like,

1232
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:40,440
Speaker 1: do you have any tips for like future podcasters? You know, yeah,

1233
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 1: well you got to do it with your sister. I

1234
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 1: mean who else would you do it with. First of all,

1235
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 1: you guys need me a Catherine. I need me a Catherine.

1236
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 1: I mean just you have to look at it like this.

1237
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:50,800
Speaker 1: People want more than what they're getting from you, right,

1238
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 1: They want to hear more between you and your sister,

1239
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 1: and you guys can get someone like Catherine to kind

1240
01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 1: of oversee it so that there's somebody moving the ship.

1241
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 1: Forward or that role can be played by your sister,

1242
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 1: certainly not by you, as you've demonstrated today that you

1243
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:07,680
Speaker 1: can't run a podcast. But just keep in mind like

1244
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:09,960
Speaker 1: people want more, right, they want to listen to more.

1245
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 1: They love the way you talk, they love the way

1246
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 1: you converse, they love the dynamics between the two of you.

1247
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 1: So don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. Just

1248
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:19,640
Speaker 1: go and have fun conversations with her. You can pick

1249
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 1: any topics you want, or not pick any topics at all,

1250
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:24,040
Speaker 1: and just shoot the ship. And then when you feel

1251
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 1: like you want to add another layer, out another layer.

1252
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 1: But yeah, just be like, do what people love from you,

1253
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 1: which is talking. I can't wait to build my set.

1254
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 1: I was thinking yellow velvet curtains. How interesting. We can

1255
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 1: just send you these. Okay, you need you need a

1256
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 1: new set of curtains anyway. So uh well, Brettman, you're

1257
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,600
Speaker 1: just a delight as always. Oh I'm gonna hit you

1258
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 1: up when we come back to Hawaii. Oh my gosh,

1259
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:52,960
Speaker 1: I'm bored. Yeah no, well hang out. Yeah, you, me

1260
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 1: and Joe Boy, we're gonna have a whole We're bringing

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01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 1: a whole gaggle of people there. Don't say goggles. I saw,

1262
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:02,360
Speaker 1: I saw you toward d bitch. You better give me

1263
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 1: a ticket when you get here. I'm not fighting for

1264
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 1: their tickets. No, you'll get your own ticket. You'll get

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01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 1: your own V I P box even though there aren't

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01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 1: any of those. Please, I'm kidding, Batman. We love you.

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01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:18,640
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, guys. Continued success and everything that

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01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:21,640
Speaker 1: you do and good luck with your new doggies. Thank you.

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01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:28,720
Speaker 1: I need it. Loha allaha, maha kita everybody. We have

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01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 1: new merch. We have Dear Chelsea merch which you can

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01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,520
Speaker 1: order on my website Chelsea handler dot com. And we

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01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 1: have cute t shirts and cute hats and yeah, go

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01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:40,760
Speaker 1: and get some. And if you like to get advice

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01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:43,720
Speaker 1: from Chelsea and one of her guests, please write into

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01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:48,520
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com