Speaker 1: Cool Zone Media.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to sixteenth Minute, the podcast where we take
Speaker 2: a look at the internet's characters of the day and
Speaker 2: see what their moment says about us and the Internet.
Speaker 2: And today we are continuing our deep dive on Hailey
Speaker 2: Welch aka the Hawk to a Girl. When we left
Speaker 2: off last week, Hailey Welch had just decided to go
Speaker 2: public as Miss Hawktua on July one, twenty twenty four,
Speaker 2: abruptly solving a mystery that sleuths across the Internet had
Speaker 2: been trying to figure out for weeks, either to identify
Speaker 2: who she was for fun or claim slash profit from
Speaker 2: her words and image when she wasn't claiming it for herself.
Speaker 2: And keep in mind, the original Hawk was posted June eleventh,
Speaker 2: and three weeks later, there had already been several rounds
Speaker 2: of discourse surrounding Haley. It wasn't until she introduced herself
Speaker 2: to the public that the details of her biography began
Speaker 2: to walk in place. This is how I've been able
Speaker 2: to put it together as best I can. Hailey Welch
Speaker 2: was raised by her grandmother or her granny in Belfast, Tennessee,
Speaker 2: population eight hundred and forty four. Around the time since
Speaker 2: she was nine months old. Some basic stats about Belfast, Tennessee.
Speaker 2: Its majority working class and comprised of non high school grads.
Speaker 2: There are two men to every woman. It is overwhelmingly white,
Speaker 2: and has a limited job market. It's also farmland. Most
Speaker 2: early footage of Haley features animals in the background, and
Speaker 2: if you can't see them, you can usually hear them.
Speaker 2: Hailey's parents had a limited presence in her life. Her dad,
Speaker 2: a farm hand, was in the picture, but infrequently. She
Speaker 2: says she rarely spent time with him growing up. Her
Speaker 2: mother was a drug addict from the time Haley was
Speaker 2: born and has never been in the picture in her life,
Speaker 2: something that Haley became gradually more open about as her
Speaker 2: fame continued to grow. And by that I mean it
Speaker 2: is not at all unusual they hear Haley making crack
Speaker 2: baby jokes at her own expense. Here's an example from
Speaker 2: Whitney Cummings podcast.
Speaker 3: Twenty one.
Speaker 4: Oh how's your mom?
Speaker 2: Mamma a crackhead?
Speaker 4: You don't want her?
Speaker 3: Is she an actual crackhout? Yea, I'm a crag baby,
Speaker 3: are you daw?
Speaker 2: Why you guys so funny? Hailey is a high school
Speaker 2: graduate with a close knit group of childhood friends. She
Speaker 2: was a cheerleader in high school, and at age twenty one,
Speaker 2: was working at a spring factory called Tennessee Spring and
Speaker 2: Metal as an inspector and shipping manager who often had
Speaker 2: to wake up at two thirty in the morning to
Speaker 2: get to work on time. She has a tattoo saying
Speaker 2: still I Rise, a quote that references both Amaya Angelou
Speaker 2: Pome and, according to Haley, a lot of the difficulties
Speaker 2: she faced growing up and transcending them anyways. The second
Speaker 2: episode of Talk to a really emphasizes the rural normality
Speaker 2: of her lifestyle, complete with her drinking wine on the
Speaker 2: porch with her friends.
Speaker 4: I'm always down for Taco Bell.
Speaker 2: You are Maha freeze.
Speaker 3: I've never had one.
Speaker 5: They're good.
Speaker 4: We're taking your Baha virginity.
Speaker 2: And going to Taco Bell habitually, which in my opinion,
Speaker 2: is always a sign of good character. Another thing that
Speaker 2: struck me is that Haley seems to have a vested
Speaker 2: interest in lifting up her friends from Tennessee in the
Speaker 2: process of going through this chaotic experience, particularly Chelsea Bradford,
Speaker 2: who appeared in the original Tim and D TV video
Speaker 2: with Haley and initially convinced Haley to do it at all.
Speaker 2: Chelsea was a friend who would later stand up for
Speaker 2: her a number of times and would eventually become her
Speaker 2: talk to a co host and essentially right hand woman.
Speaker 2: And the reason that most people hadn't put any of
Speaker 2: this together and assigned false narratives to proliferate that was
Speaker 2: that Haley wasn't even on social media at the time
Speaker 2: the clip went viral. This is from her first interview
Speaker 2: on podcast Plan Pree Uncut amazing. But did you delete
Speaker 2: all of your social media?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 4: So I deleted all my social media like six months
Speaker 4: ago due to like personal reasons.
Speaker 2: I never really got on it or anything like that.
Speaker 7: Oh okay, So it didn't have anything to do with this.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I was long gone before that.
Speaker 7: You were already gone from social media. And everyone thought
Speaker 7: that you deleted your social media because you were like
Speaker 7: scared of all of this blowing up.
Speaker 3: But you were gone.
Speaker 4: I've been gone from it.
Speaker 2: So are you going to come back? I think we're
Speaker 2: working on that right now. As she's consistently alluded to,
Speaker 2: Hailey was mortified when the Hawk to a clip went
Speaker 2: viral and didn't do anything except go to work for
Speaker 2: the week after she first noticed its virality. She pretty
Speaker 2: cleanly breaks down the emotions she was navigating at this
Speaker 2: time during this interview on Plan Bree with Brianna LaPaglia
Speaker 2: of Barstools.
Speaker 3: It was just massive.
Speaker 2: It was massive, okay, war close through your head.
Speaker 8: When that, I was like, oh, well, this.
Speaker 2: Is kind of fun.
Speaker 4: I was like, it's not gonna get bigger than this.
Speaker 4: And I go back like an hour later in the
Speaker 4: views done went up by like a milia and I
Speaker 4: was like, oh my god, there's no way that just happened.
Speaker 2: Sure, up it did.
Speaker 7: And then it kept going and kept going, and then
Speaker 7: there was the search for you. Yeah, and what like,
Speaker 7: what did you want to do when there was a search?
Speaker 7: Was there a part of you that was like, I
Speaker 7: don't want to be known as the hook to a girl?
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was a big part of it. And then
Speaker 4: they started spilling my name wrong and making like accounts
Speaker 4: of me, which they got pictures off all my friends
Speaker 4: like social media's and stuff like that, and which it's
Speaker 4: it's kind of creepy, stay in your face on another
Speaker 4: account that don't belong to You're like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, people thought any of words, Jillian.
Speaker 7: I saw a bunch of people were getting like recognized
Speaker 7: as you, but it wasn't you.
Speaker 3: It was wild.
Speaker 7: So when they officially found you, were you like I
Speaker 7: want to dive into this or I want to take
Speaker 7: a step back.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh shit, I'm not adding these people back.
Speaker 2: LaPaglia also acknowledges another wave of media surrounding Haley prior
Speaker 2: to her siding to lean into her fifteen minutes of fame.
Speaker 7: What do you do now, because now you have management
Speaker 7: and I have a team, what are your plans moving forward?
Speaker 3: Like do you want to.
Speaker 7: Still be the hook to a girl or do you
Speaker 7: wanna like.
Speaker 4: I don't really want that to be like my image, yeah,
Speaker 4: like hot to a girl. I just I don't say
Speaker 4: that being like yeah, I don't want to be none
Speaker 4: of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So it's kind of a surface exploration of how this
Speaker 2: shift went for Hailey. But the idea that Haley voluntarily
Speaker 2: wanted to leave social media six months ago and now
Speaker 2: is returning to it just to reclaim and ideally profit
Speaker 2: from this moment more or less happened because of something
Speaker 2: that was outside of her control. For everyone that I've
Speaker 2: seen jumped at the conclusion that Haley was determined to
Speaker 2: be famous. I don't see any evidence that that was
Speaker 2: the case. Thinking of the girls and women whose lives
Speaker 2: were damaged or demolished by appearances on Girl's Gone Wild,
Speaker 2: I don't see it even more. But on Plan Brie,
Speaker 2: Chelsea Bradford appears briefly as well, and offers a little
Speaker 2: insight in her ability to consent to the on the
Speaker 2: street interview From her perspective.
Speaker 7: Did you say anything that you wish you didn't know?
Speaker 4: Which, I wasn't prepared for those kind of questions, so
Speaker 4: I don't think anybody was, like I wasn't in the
Speaker 4: right mind, but I knew what I was saying, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I made sure to keep it.
Speaker 3: Like because it was going to go out there. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and you were just like fuck it.
Speaker 2: I just said, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 3: So, like I was.
Speaker 7: Saying before, what do you think she should do now?
Speaker 3: Like, do you think she should just take full advantage
Speaker 3: of it?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 4: I love her personality and the fact that the world
Speaker 4: gets to see it and they obviously love it too,
Speaker 4: so I think she should.
Speaker 3: And that accent, the accent is so good.
Speaker 2: Again, like we talked about last week. I think two
Speaker 2: things need to be true here. There's not much doubt
Speaker 2: at this point in early July that Healy has decided
Speaker 2: to lean into this fame and see what might become
Speaker 2: of it. And that's pretty common for main characters in
Speaker 2: her age range early twenties who don't have long standing
Speaker 2: careers or families of their own to consider. But I
Speaker 2: think it's also fair to say that this was not
Speaker 2: something she was necessarily courting prior to this moment. So
Speaker 2: what now? During her first interview, here is what Haley
Speaker 2: thinks is next.
Speaker 7: So now is like, you're gonna go to La, You're
Speaker 7: gonna go to New York.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
Speaker 7: Do you think you see yourself like starting your own
Speaker 7: type of like show or podcasts or you're just gonna
Speaker 7: be like an internet personality.
Speaker 4: I think we're gonna do like a show and then
Speaker 4: we're just gonna be like on a bunch of podcasts
Speaker 4: and everything else in between.
Speaker 5: Cool.
Speaker 3: So kind of just figuring out as you go.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, there's more to come, don't worry.
Speaker 2: And at the end of her interview with LaPaglia, we
Speaker 2: get the first hint of exactly how politicized Haley is
Speaker 2: going to be as a figure when LaPaglia asks if
Speaker 2: Haley would if Haley would hawk on that thing of
Speaker 2: various prominent people leading to the inevitable Donald Trump.
Speaker 4: No, absolutely not, uh huh for me, Jake Paul, I'm
Speaker 4: happy to say hawk hawk Yeah.
Speaker 3: You said, okay.
Speaker 2: Thankfully. This happened in twenty twenty four, a moment where
Speaker 2: the media had finally recognized that when someone gets this
Speaker 2: famous this fast, they really need to think about how
Speaker 2: they're going to frame her. I'm just kidding. Here's part
Speaker 2: two of Haley Welton the hawk to with saga. Welcome
Speaker 2: back to the show. Let's play the theme song.
Speaker 9: It's time sixteen let's see.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to sixteenth minute, the podcast where we take
Speaker 2: a look at the Internet's main characters of the day,
Speaker 2: talk to them and see what their moment meant for
Speaker 2: them and what it says about us and the Internet.
Speaker 2: My name is Jamie Loftus. And while I'm recording this
Speaker 2: from the past, I'm assuming President Trump's second inauguration was
Speaker 2: even scarier. And while I dissociate with you for an
Speaker 2: hour or so, let's continue to examine the saga of
Speaker 2: hawk to a girl Ailey Welch, after her first formal
Speaker 2: media appearance with Brianna LaPaglia aka Brianna Chicken Fry no
Speaker 2: time to explain, she was further politicized by saying that
Speaker 2: she was not interested in hawktuaing on Donald Trump's penis,
Speaker 2: and I mean, god forbid, these two twenty one year
Speaker 2: old girls immediately knew they didn't want to slobber on
Speaker 2: the dick of a nearly eighty year old man. And
Speaker 2: off of this very normal question came a very normal
Speaker 2: media response. On the right, we have Laura Lumer, the
Speaker 2: degenerate Hawk Tour girl's real name is Haley Welsh's anti Trump.
Speaker 2: Then Laura Lumer later that day.
Speaker 1: I stand corrected at Bill Ackman. Upon further review, it
Speaker 1: turns out that she was only talking about whether she
Speaker 1: performed fellatio on President Trump, and.
Speaker 2: In the center, an embarrassing Twitter account called Biden's win
Speaker 2: the Hawk.
Speaker 10: To a girl just absolutely demolished Donald Trump, saying it's
Speaker 10: a no go for her retweet to make sure all
Speaker 10: Americans no gen z is speaking out against Donald Trump
Speaker 10: and his radical agenda and.
Speaker 2: In the words of a normal Instagram commenter.
Speaker 8: Stop mimifying politics. It's not whimsical or cute. America is
Speaker 8: facing a horrifying reality, and articles like this trivialize it.
Speaker 2: This feels like it happened five thousand years ago. But
Speaker 2: while all of this was happening, Haley's team put her
Speaker 2: to work, mostly making appearances. At first, she memorably met Shaq,
Speaker 2: who is the king of the random endorsements.
Speaker 10: Ebsine ego teenk comes with so much ink you can
Speaker 10: print up the five thousand pages?
Speaker 3: Can your printer do that?
Speaker 2: This coming as a former attendee of the Shaktoberfest Haunted
Speaker 2: House in Long Beach, California, but Haley met him at
Speaker 2: a bar in Nashville while he, for some reason did
Speaker 2: a DJ set. Hailey's publicist, who also represents Bruce Springsteen,
Speaker 2: seems to have taken a pretty classic approach with making
Speaker 2: her image. He got Hailey meure as many mainstream figures
Speaker 2: and outlets as possible, as quickly as possible, in an
Speaker 2: attempt to build credibility in the space that Hailey seemed
Speaker 2: to be interested and well suited in video chat podcasting,
Speaker 2: and while she was nearly immediately asked if she would
Speaker 2: give Donald Trump a blowjob, Haley and company tried to
Speaker 2: mitigate this kind of politicization in the days and weeks
Speaker 2: to come, as Haley was brought on stage at the
Speaker 2: Zach Bryan Concerts and flown out to judge a bikini
Speaker 2: contest in Fort Lauderdale, telling Rolling Stone in her first
Speaker 2: national interview on July eleventh that the attention had been
Speaker 2: really overwhelming for her as someone whose biggest fear was
Speaker 2: getting kidnapped. She covertly addresses this kind of politicization in
Speaker 2: the inner saying when asked about the upcoming twenty twenty
Speaker 2: four election.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in the middle of it.
Speaker 1: Whoever you want to be president, that's your business. What's
Speaker 1: my opinion to you? And I was talking about looks wise,
Speaker 1: Donald Trump. I'm sure you're a nice man, but you
Speaker 1: won't getting the hawk for me. He's old enough to
Speaker 1: be my granddaddy.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's put a pin in that. In this same
Speaker 2: Rolling Stone interview, Hailey emphasizes wanting to do something positive
Speaker 2: with the fame she'd gotten from her meme. This kind
Speaker 2: of reminds me of Ken Bone, and she wanted to
Speaker 2: depoliticize her own image. Also kind of reminds me of
Speaker 2: ken Bone. And to be clear, these two people do
Speaker 2: not have a lot in common, but it does seem
Speaker 2: to be kind of the plight of the election your
Speaker 2: main character, Remember ken Bone went viral in twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2: At an election event, Hailey told Rolling Stone.
Speaker 1: Maybe this was like God's gift to me or something.
Speaker 1: She says, everything that's going to come from this, it's
Speaker 1: going to be something good.
Speaker 2: The Beast also notes that Hailey was consistently surrounded by
Speaker 2: her new manager and publicist, along with Chelsea and a videographer.
Speaker 2: It's clear that she wanted familiar and newly trusted people
Speaker 2: around her to advise on this barrage of attention. The
Speaker 2: Penthouse team's motto for Haley was said to be protect
Speaker 2: the Hawk from the vultures.
Speaker 5: Well, bther this guy.
Speaker 2: Stakes two desires seem to be locked in from the beginning.
Speaker 2: She wants to start a podcast or do something else
Speaker 2: in comedy, and she wants to help animals. And by
Speaker 2: the time the Rolling Stone article was released, Hailey had
Speaker 2: in fact released her own merch and had reportedly already
Speaker 2: made over sixty five thousand dollars in addition to thirty
Speaker 2: thousand dollars for an appearance she would make on Long Island,
Speaker 2: so she had at this point reclaimed her image. The
Speaker 2: question was in an industry she was completely unfamiliar with.
Speaker 2: Who could she trust to help shape this image. We'll
Speaker 2: get back to that, but I just want to single
Speaker 2: out the name of her merch site, sixteen minutes dot Life.
Speaker 2: I have more examples down the line, but this is
Speaker 2: a repeated trend that makes it seem like Haley and
Speaker 2: her team wanted the podcast title to this exact show
Speaker 2: too bad, So sorry, hope you enjoyed this episode. A
Speaker 2: few days later, she made this aforementioned Long Island appearance
Speaker 2: at a bar called the Ugly Duckling, as chronicled in
Speaker 2: a piece in The Cut that featured some of the
Speaker 2: most needlessly classiest writing I've read in a while. What
Speaker 2: the writer is correct to point out, I think, is
Speaker 2: that this was a bar swarmed with mostly white Republican
Speaker 2: supporters of all ages, from kids trying to fake their
Speaker 2: way in to meet the woman of the moment to
Speaker 2: grown men in one of the many unlicensed Hawketua t
Speaker 2: shirts with Trump's face on them, reading truly nasty slogans
Speaker 2: like if she don't hawk tua, don't talk to a
Speaker 2: as well as a literal Donald Trump impersonator. Why the
Speaker 2: writer goes out of their way to call the bar shitty,
Speaker 2: the people smelly and tubby and drinking Miller lite as
Speaker 2: a naive attempt to fit in is anyone's guess. Don't
Speaker 2: get me wrong, this event sounded extremely unpleasant, and the
Speaker 2: writer is not wrong to point out how this exemplified
Speaker 2: Hailey's early and immediate Republican voter appeal. When she arrives,
Speaker 2: Haley is said to be oggled over and swarmed by
Speaker 2: adult right wing men, and while she's enthusiastic and polite
Speaker 2: taking photos in a yellow dress, one of her management
Speaker 2: team members leans over to the writer from the cut, saying,
Speaker 2: I have.
Speaker 10: A newfound appreciation for how creepy man can be. But
Speaker 10: she's taking it like a champ. She's a girl.
Speaker 2: She is a girl. Interesting observation anyways. A few days later,
Speaker 2: Hailey confirmed that men throwing themselves at her in this desperate,
Speaker 2: creepy way both made her uncomfortable and was her new normal,
Speaker 2: along with the almost to be expected requests for feet
Speaker 2: picks and an only fans launch, neither of which she
Speaker 2: had ever indicated an interest in. She said that she
Speaker 2: didn't even know how this appearance had come together, only
Speaker 2: that it was a part of her management's plan to
Speaker 2: get her a podcast deal, and when asked about the
Speaker 2: very trumpy nature of the event, Hailey said she didn't
Speaker 2: want to get a picture with the Trump impersonator and
Speaker 2: did not want to discuss her personal politics, explaining.
Speaker 1: I don't know much about politics. I don't talk about
Speaker 1: things that I don't know.
Speaker 2: And in regards to the creepy men.
Speaker 1: I'm there for the women. I'd sit there all day
Speaker 1: and talk to the women. And as summer twenty twenty
Speaker 1: four continued, Haley's management seemed to find where her podcasting
Speaker 1: niche was going to lie. It's a weirdly difficult space
Speaker 1: to identify, and the closest I've found is something that
Speaker 1: writer Max Reid calls the Zinternet, something he explains is
Speaker 1: the expanded universe of not just men, but content generally
Speaker 1: marketed towards young to middle aged men that if you
Speaker 1: trace the latter up high enough, always comes back to
Speaker 1: someone's shitty, scammy sports betting app.
Speaker 2: He describes the Internet, I think pretty perfectly like this.
Speaker 10: You could probably communicate the basic contours of this community
Speaker 10: simply by calling it frat Internet or or stool Internet
Speaker 10: or dumbass parlay bet Internet, or internet made up of
Speaker 10: guys who sent annoying winey replies to AOC or whoever,
Speaker 10: and when you click on their profiles, it's like thousands
Speaker 10: of retweets of stories about the LSU football program.
Speaker 2: Ridiculously specific, maybe, but it's huge. This space has become
Speaker 2: pretty big in the last ten years. Read speculates in
Speaker 2: part because of Elon Musk taking over Twitter, and because
Speaker 2: sports gambling has been legalized in so many places in
Speaker 2: the US, and when they became legalized, they needed to
Speaker 2: build media to get young people addicted to gambling. I
Speaker 2: even have a personal anecdote from this. When I worked
Speaker 2: at the Boston Globe when I first got out of college,
Speaker 2: my editor left to go work as quote unquote the
Speaker 2: editor of DraftKings, which at the time sounded ridiculous. The
Speaker 2: other reporters and I thought he was a dumb ass,
Speaker 2: because why would you leave a legacy newspaper to develop
Speaker 2: hashtag content for a sports betting app. Well, we are
Speaker 2: all podcasters and substackers now, and he is a millionaire.
Speaker 2: So shout out Corey. If you listen to my recent
Speaker 2: series on the mana sphere. This corner of media isn't
Speaker 2: that precisely, but it is very adjacent, and it's this
Speaker 2: area of the Internet that Hailey Welch kind of fits
Speaker 2: in seamlessly with something that becomes clear in the series
Speaker 2: of shows she's featured on in the next two months
Speaker 2: before she eventually launches her own podcast, the famous Talk
Speaker 2: to Us.
Speaker 4: I just played Better Pigs, hit some two thousand XS
Speaker 4: lineups and have a ton of fun winning money. Download
Speaker 4: Better and Play Better. If you want to win two
Speaker 4: thousand times your money.
Speaker 5: Download Better, Play Better picks, Hello.
Speaker 4: Them, Welcome back to Talk to I got Miss Chelsea
Speaker 4: and then Mark youban.
Speaker 2: But before that there was her appearance on Whitney Cummings
Speaker 2: Show where we get pull quotes like this.
Speaker 3: I remember thinking this is so unfair.
Speaker 11: People should be able to go out and have a
Speaker 11: couple of drinks and have fun and not get famous
Speaker 11: overnight for it.
Speaker 4: But have it thrown on the internet.
Speaker 3: Are you close to having a house a month later?
Speaker 4: I could, yeah, probably next month, I'd say I could.
Speaker 3: Probably buy a house.
Speaker 11: I think one of the coolest things about you becoming
Speaker 11: famous is how hard everyone's rooting for you.
Speaker 3: Like the Internet is usually so negative.
Speaker 11: It's such a nasty place, and I'm sure you've seen
Speaker 11: some nasty stuff.
Speaker 3: Then that'll always happen.
Speaker 4: Though, I love hot dogs until I found out, what's
Speaker 4: you know?
Speaker 3: I love hot dogs?
Speaker 2: I love hot dogs.
Speaker 11: That is like the most sexual thing you can say
Speaker 11: by accident.
Speaker 3: That is gonna just I almost feel like we have
Speaker 3: to cut that.
Speaker 2: Out and tragically later in this Internet Whitney Cummings Facetimes,
Speaker 2: Hailey Welch's biggest comedy crush Matt Rife. So Matt Rife,
Speaker 2: let me see if I can do this in a
Speaker 2: sentence or two. Matt Rife is a tremendously unfunny stand
Speaker 2: up comedian who pivoted to strictly misogynist jokes in the
Speaker 2: last couple of years when he grew insecure that too
Speaker 2: many women were coming to his shells because they were
Speaker 2: attracted to him. Whether that's why he chose to get
Speaker 2: the world's worst cheek implants is anyone's guess. I know,
Speaker 2: I know, I know body shaming is horrible, but I
Speaker 2: hope you'll agree that it doesn't count when we're talking
Speaker 2: about Matt Rife.
Speaker 6: But sometimes you get a girl with a big clit
Speaker 6: and you're like.
Speaker 5: God, I.
Speaker 10: I've seen I've seen it.
Speaker 5: I've seen it.
Speaker 10: When I've been in the bedroom with a girl with
Speaker 10: a massive plant, I'm like, yo, that's pretty close. Yeah,
Speaker 10: they were supposed to sick you a thumb wrestle.
Speaker 2: And while the bread and butter of these zinternet podcasters
Speaker 2: is built around talking about cancel culture and you can't
Speaker 2: do that more, Haley never really talks about cancel culture
Speaker 2: and doesn't really seem to have much interest in airing
Speaker 2: hot takes on these appearances or even later on her
Speaker 2: own show. But it's clear that these edgy, often controversial
Speaker 2: white millionaires are the ones that she's pulled towards. You're
Speaker 2: Matt Rife's, You're Morgan Wallins. The list, unfortunately goes on,
Speaker 2: and Hailey's management takes care to pull her image towards sports,
Speaker 2: even those sports are something that Haley herself regularly admits
Speaker 2: she knows and cares very little about. But there she
Speaker 2: is throwing the first pitch at a Mets game on
Speaker 2: August fifteenth. For some reason, I'm not going to put
Speaker 2: you through all of these appearances, but one I do
Speaker 2: need to single out because it is a cultural artifact
Speaker 2: so baffling that I consider it my patriotic duty to
Speaker 2: share it with you. Hailey Welch Miss Tua on Bill
Speaker 2: Maher's podcast.
Speaker 4: I'm not up to trans I had to figure out
Speaker 4: who you were today.
Speaker 2: I'm so serious. I don't keep up with anything.
Speaker 12: You're twenty one, You're not supposed to. I'd be disappointed
Speaker 12: if you did your day to day before this happened.
Speaker 12: Was like working in a where'd you work?
Speaker 3: A spring factory?
Speaker 5: A spring factory? Right?
Speaker 4: It wasn't nothing bad though, It's not like a normal factory.
Speaker 4: You hear anything about I guess really laid back. I'm
Speaker 4: doing it there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's still a fucking factory. I mean yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean they got the bill's pay. That's all it mattered.
Speaker 4: I didn't mind end up going to work every day.
Speaker 12: Which is better that or Now you're in show business, Come.
Speaker 5: On show business. You don't know what he Harrelson is?
Speaker 5: Don't really whatdy Harrelson? That is time? What a ravager?
Speaker 2: Now? That's religious. I don't have the time or energy
Speaker 2: to talk more about Billmar's podcast. I do know what's
Speaker 2: called Club Random, which sounds like a Little Brother's YouTube channel,
Speaker 2: But I do kind of love this interview because Haley
Speaker 2: does not know or care who Bill Maher is, and
Speaker 2: it seems to be bringing him to the verge of
Speaker 2: having a nervous attack. The whole interview is basically him
Speaker 2: quizzing her on World War two and the Beatles while
Speaker 2: putting this like weird life serum into his sparkling water
Speaker 2: with a syringe while she drinks a high noon like
Speaker 2: a normal person. I promise I'm not lying. It's very,
Speaker 2: very weird. The only good advice mar is capable of
Speaker 2: giving Hailey is something I noticed happened across media elders
Speaker 2: who spoke with her. Even when there are people I'm
Speaker 2: not personally a fan of, there are many people twice
Speaker 2: or three times per age who gave Haley just pragmatic
Speaker 2: entertainment advice on how best to not fuck your life up.
Speaker 2: Here's Bill Maher.
Speaker 5: I told you you were given this chip. You were
Speaker 5: given the chip of fame.
Speaker 12: Now you want to trade that in for something that
Speaker 12: uses that but takes it to the next level, and
Speaker 12: you have to just like trade on what you're already
Speaker 12: known for. That's the one thing you're known for, So
Speaker 12: you could do a podcast for like, I don't know
Speaker 12: if there's anything from somebody that age with that point
Speaker 12: of view, but it couldn't be frivolous. You have to
Speaker 12: take it seriously. Could you do that possibly and talk
Speaker 12: about sex but seriously serious issues because there are a
Speaker 12: lot of really serious issues.
Speaker 2: And weirdly enough, this also happened on Whitney's podcast with
Speaker 2: Matt Rife, of all people, and.
Speaker 6: They were just asking if I had any kind of
Speaker 6: advice to somebody who had had similar success in a
Speaker 6: similar field and platform, and you were the example that
Speaker 6: brought up, and I basically just said to fucking stick
Speaker 6: to your guns and have fun and be smart and
Speaker 6: responsible because as much I'm sure you've already started to
Speaker 6: see U a little bit, as much as people love
Speaker 6: you today, more and more people hate you tomorrow. And
Speaker 6: the more people love you, the more people hate you.
Speaker 6: Because people love you so people love to see you
Speaker 6: succeed in the beginning, but then they fucking love to
Speaker 6: tear you down when they feel like you've gotten too
Speaker 6: big for your bridges. So my advice that I gave
Speaker 6: was just for you to be smart and fucking enjoy yourself.
Speaker 2: So every once in a while she gets a usable
Speaker 2: piece of advice, But this doesn't seem to be the
Speaker 2: path that she's going to go on now to this day,
Speaker 2: it's unclear to me how much of this plan is
Speaker 2: of her own volition and how much is being pushed
Speaker 2: by the management. But I have my suspicions. I'll share
Speaker 2: this quote from your manager, Johnny Forster, when he was
Speaker 2: asked if he thought Haley would ever try to get
Speaker 2: Hollywood representation.
Speaker 10: She doesn't even really know what that means. No disrespect to.
Speaker 2: That, okay. By mid to late summer, Hailey had an
Speaker 2: Instagram audience of over a million people, which makes it
Speaker 2: interesting when she starts a Twitter or account sometime later
Speaker 2: in the summer, mainly because sorry, I mean, I'm still
Speaker 2: on there too, But Hailey's generation is not particularly interested
Speaker 2: in Twitter. She literally calls it x no. From what
Speaker 2: I can gather, Hailey started her ex account because she
Speaker 2: was encouraged to at a massive crypto conference she was
Speaker 2: attending as a celebrity guest last summer. Now it's unclear
Speaker 2: exactly how this crypto appearance came together, but it appears
Speaker 2: the culprit may be Howie Mandel.
Speaker 13: One million dollars is a top prize. No crazy stunts,
Speaker 13: no trivia questions. All they have to do is be
Speaker 13: able to answer the most important question tonight. And that
Speaker 13: question is real or no Deal?
Speaker 2: Like that Howie Mandel, host of Deal or No Deal,
Speaker 2: Voice of the Maguai Gizmo, Howie Mandel.
Speaker 5: Has it got a named that?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 10: Mog why?
Speaker 5: What mag Why? I don't know some Chinese word. I
Speaker 5: just call him gizmo? These ags you like it?
Speaker 13: And then my friend got me onto a movie. I
Speaker 13: did this movie called Gremlin Gizmo. Yes, the first little
Speaker 13: but it's the same voice, he goes.
Speaker 3: It's the same.
Speaker 2: Stay with me. Hailey Welch appeared on Howie Mandel's podcast
Speaker 2: called Howie Mandel Does Stuff where she plays this JOKEI
Speaker 2: game where she learns about her ancestry in a bad
Speaker 2: ripoff of a much better show on PBS called Finding
Speaker 2: Your Roots for Hollow People.
Speaker 5: You should keep that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't trust anybody. It's not just Hollywood people,
Speaker 4: it's just anybody.
Speaker 2: Why what happened? I just don't did something happen? I
Speaker 2: just don't trust anybo.
Speaker 13: Can Let's ask management, can she hock to you into
Speaker 13: the haktua, into the tube away from the microphone?
Speaker 2: And I can't prove that this isn't a coincidence. But
Speaker 2: Hailey Welch later links up with Howie Mandel's son in law,
Speaker 2: Alex Larsen Schultz aka Doc Hollywood, who is technically a musician,
Speaker 2: but for the sake of this sentence, is absolutely a
Speaker 2: crypto guy. This brings us to July twenty fourth, when
Speaker 2: Doc Hollywood posts a photo of himself. Let's see description,
Speaker 2: White guy of indeterminate age, presumably bald, black rimmed glasses,
Speaker 2: black T shirt you can tell cost over one hundred
Speaker 2: dollars for some reason, black brim hat and he's pointing
Speaker 2: at Hailey Welch and Chelsea Bradford while reading Matt Fury
Speaker 2: books behind him, saying that meme class is in session
Speaker 2: and in case you're not terminally online, Matt Fury's work
Speaker 2: is a reference to the fact that he created the
Speaker 2: cartoon Frog Pepe, who the right wing and the crypto
Speaker 2: lobby have pretty successful stolen as a symbol of their own. So,
Speaker 2: while it's unclear whether Don Hollywood introduced Haley Welch to
Speaker 2: Howie Mandel or the reverse. If I told you Howie
Speaker 2: Mandel's son in law was a prominent villain in this saga,
Speaker 2: would you believe me? Because that is the world that
Speaker 2: I'm asking you to live in. Because once Dock Hollywood
Speaker 2: pops up, as a very thorough timeline from the Ringers,
Speaker 2: Katie Baker details, Haley becomes a peculiar fixture in the
Speaker 2: blockchain community, a place known for crypto scams, crypto being
Speaker 2: something that Haley has also suspiciously never demonstrated an interest
Speaker 2: in before. Haley becomes a soft fixture in both the
Speaker 2: crypto and the sports gambling space, mainly because the two
Speaker 2: are connected via a lot of sketchy gambling, including a
Speaker 2: cursed encounter where she met RFK at the Bitcoin twenty
Speaker 2: twenty four conference in late July at some event called
Speaker 2: Karate Combat. Sure, And it's around this same time that
Speaker 2: she starts an x account. And while her personality remains
Speaker 2: somewhat consistent across her social media channels, I do need
Speaker 2: to note that the content on Haley's X account is
Speaker 2: markedly different from what you'd find on her Instagram or
Speaker 2: her Snapchat. Instagram and Snapchat for Haley tend to be
Speaker 2: more general influencer lifestylely things, her sharing her personality in
Speaker 2: a fairly direct way, but her ex personality is marketed
Speaker 2: to the crypto AI general chaos tech bro Her early tweets,
Speaker 2: I am absolutely certain from when I began researching this
Speaker 2: series are from early July twenty twenty four, but appear
Speaker 2: to have been since deleted and are impossible to access
Speaker 2: via the wayback machine, something I suspect has something to
Speaker 2: do with an eventual crypto lawsuit. But I do feel
Speaker 2: very confident in saying that Haley's first posts on X
Speaker 2: are a series of videos and pictures from a Nashville
Speaker 2: bitcoin expo where she agrees to start an X account
Speaker 2: at the event. At present, Hailey's first tweet that's publicly
Speaker 2: available is from August seventh, but you'll have to take
Speaker 2: my word for the fact that that is not true. Regardless,
Speaker 2: the Hailey presented on X isn't just a relatable girl
Speaker 2: from Nashville. She's a crypto capitalist with a Southern twang,
Speaker 2: a very different version of herself, to the point that
Speaker 2: she'd occasionally have to remind people that she was running
Speaker 2: the account herself, posting front facing videos as evidence it's me, bitch,
Speaker 2: What are you fucking mean?
Speaker 4: Hey? Come bractillya mes.
Speaker 2: Me bitches, But most of her here are either promo
Speaker 2: for her eventual podcast on fellow cryptobro Jake Paul's sports
Speaker 2: betting company platform, or ugly AI generated images of her
Speaker 2: onto tech bro meme formats in no particular order, Hailey
Speaker 2: as an astronaut, Hailey as the statue of liberty, Hailey
Speaker 2: surfing holding a beer in an American flag while wearing
Speaker 2: a tuxedo, and her spin on existing meme formats like
Speaker 2: the Drake one, waving away traditional news sources then smiling
Speaker 2: and pointing at X. She's using dumb catchphrases like grocktua.
Speaker 2: This account is clearly courting the Elon Musk lobby on
Speaker 2: Elon Musk's platform specifically, and while this alternate Hailey persona
Speaker 2: builds on X, she and her management continue to introduce
Speaker 2: her to the corner of the hyper successful, ultimately kind
Speaker 2: of bigoted and boring video podcast world Whitney Cummings, Bill
Speaker 2: Maher and so on, then on Instagram over on her
Speaker 2: more normal persona. On August twenty eighth, Hailey launches the
Speaker 2: one initiative It seems like she actually would have cared
Speaker 2: about three months earlier a nonprofit called Pause Across America.
Speaker 4: Today, I'm happy to announce a launch of My Paws
Speaker 4: Across America fun. Our mission is to bring awareness, advocacy,
Speaker 4: and financial assistance to animal charities within the United States.
Speaker 4: I'm starting in my hometown shelter and it went a
Speaker 4: little something like this sprit pickout and we're gonna getting
Speaker 4: some supplies. So the first thing on my list is
Speaker 4: Lacy's and callers.
Speaker 2: She calls this initiative her life's mission, and I honestly
Speaker 2: believe her. Her love of her friends, family, and pets
Speaker 2: are the only ostensible consistence across this story. Now, it
Speaker 2: as for what the nonprofit does, very hard to say.
Speaker 2: Their URL is registered under Haley's LLC sixteen minutes, and
Speaker 2: we know she reportedly donated a half a million dollars
Speaker 2: of her own money and partnered with the Community Foundation
Speaker 2: of Tennessee to get the nonprofits started. But what we
Speaker 2: don't know is how much this charity made or what
Speaker 2: they really did. But they are accepting donations to this day.
Speaker 2: Don't donate there, but at the time the nonprofit was announced,
Speaker 2: Haley said.
Speaker 1: Ever since my life churned so publicly, I realized there
Speaker 1: had to be a reason for it, said Haley Walsh.
Speaker 1: Growing up, the one constant in my life was my pets,
Speaker 1: and they helped me get through so much. By starting
Speaker 1: Haley Walsh's pause across America, my new found financial blessings
Speaker 1: will be shared with the animals that need it most.
Speaker 2: And at the time this got Haley a fair amount
Speaker 2: of goodwill. Here she is acknowledging that her fame materialized
Speaker 2: out of kind of nowhere, as much of the media
Speaker 2: surrounding her had indicated, and that she wanted to do
Speaker 2: something productive with it. The management machine that she had
Speaker 2: brought on to protect and expand her influence continued to
Speaker 2: work behind the scenes. The next day, Haley's ex account
Speaker 2: was back posting memes, this time with Haley's face on
Speaker 2: a crypto coin, and three days later, she and Chelsea
Speaker 2: are at the Celebrity Poker Tournament, which, to no one's surprise,
Speaker 2: was her first poker game, and she appeared to have
Speaker 2: no previous interest in it. In my opinion, clearly the
Speaker 2: management has a mission here, but before we can get there, Yes,
Speaker 2: It's time to talk Talk to whose trailer launched on
Speaker 2: September two, twenty twenty four.
Speaker 5: She's literally doing anything to stay round.
Speaker 2: Does anyone actually give a fuck about her? Why are
Speaker 2: we keeping this goal relevant?
Speaker 3: Your fifteen minutes are up?
Speaker 2: Your joke was funny for two days. Stop y'all really
Speaker 2: thought I was done.
Speaker 9: I'm just getting.
Speaker 4: Started, baby.
Speaker 2: Incidentally, all of the clips of podcast conversations that follow
Speaker 2: in this trailer are never actually aired, as is referenced
Speaker 2: on the podcast months later by Jake Paul himself. It
Speaker 2: appears that the entire first round of interviews conducted were
Speaker 2: never aired due to being weird, stilted, or combative on
Speaker 2: the part of the guests, meaning Jake Paul. In the trailer,
Speaker 2: the conversations are with z internet appealing guests talking to
Speaker 2: Haley outside with a campfire, while the eventual show happens
Speaker 2: in a more conventional studio setting with the obligatory fluorescent
Speaker 2: sign that says talk to U. But even if none
Speaker 2: of this footage ever ends up airing, the trailer effectively
Speaker 2: teases the idea of the podcast it appears on Jake
Speaker 2: Paul's network. It features real conversations with the coolest guests,
Speaker 2: and it teases what becomes a running, if uninteresting question
Speaker 2: throughout the show's run. Who is hooky? I'll spoil that
Speaker 2: for you, poog. The key is Hailey's on again, off
Speaker 2: again boyfriend, who is a seemingly nice plumber from her
Speaker 2: hometown named Kelby. He's around her age. She seems fine.
Speaker 2: But don't let this deter you from the podcast message,
Speaker 2: which is essentially who's booking?
Speaker 4: He might stop that too, Subscribe it that day.
Speaker 2: The announcement for the podcast in the Hollywood Reporter read
Speaker 2: as follows.
Speaker 10: Welch is set to host the podcast Talk Toua as
Speaker 10: part of the Better Banner, with the first episode debuting
Speaker 10: September tenth on social, digital and audio platforms. The weekly
Speaker 10: podcast will see Welch showcasing her comedic style and Southern
Speaker 10: charm through a blend of interviews, lively discussions, and humorous moments.
Speaker 2: So if you listen to the sixteenth minute Manisphere series,
Speaker 2: this might sound a little familiar. The just having Funny
Speaker 2: Conversations formula is very similar to all the most successful
Speaker 2: right leaning podcasts that populate the man of Spere every day.
Speaker 2: But at this point, Hailey was a mainstream figure, so
Speaker 2: most reactions to the announcement of Talk to were either
Speaker 2: tongue in cheek finally, or the more boring, lamenting that
Speaker 2: the podcast signified the end of the world, as every
Speaker 2: Haley Welch news development seemed to tease out. At the time,
Speaker 2: the audience was barstool conservatives. But as I said in
Speaker 2: our first part, I still firmly believe that I am
Speaker 2: the only person who have ever truly watched every single
Speaker 2: episode of Talk to A But before we delve into
Speaker 2: my psychosis, what's more interesting than the actual content of
Speaker 2: the podcast is the way that Haley and her management
Speaker 2: go in terms of aligning her with Jake Paul, the one,
Speaker 2: the only, the unfortunate. More on that motherfucker when we
Speaker 2: come back. Welcome back to sixteenth minute, and we are
Speaker 2: at a critical point in Hailey Welch's social media career
Speaker 2: where she puts her trust in one of the worst
Speaker 2: men on the planet and his brother, who is a
Speaker 2: close second. You can really put either brother in either position.
Speaker 2: Logan and Jake Paul are an entity unto themselves, but
Speaker 2: the brothers became famous online when they were even younger
Speaker 2: than Haley, blowing up on vine in the mid twenty
Speaker 2: ten's in Ohio. They started posting regularly when Logan was
Speaker 2: twelve and Jake was ten. Here's Logan's first YouTube video,
Speaker 2: Can I Have a Drink?
Speaker 11: The What's that called?
Speaker 9: Again?
Speaker 2: Already obnoxious, but the Paul brothers have run the gamut
Speaker 2: of what internets access can look like pretty cleanly, straddling
Speaker 2: second generation Internet pre COVID to remind you of what
Speaker 2: that playbook was like. This was all about moving to La,
Speaker 2: becoming daily vloggers and prank YouTubers, and being at the
Speaker 2: very front of the hype house trend.
Speaker 9: Back up.
Speaker 14: Wow, I never thought I would say this, Well, welcome
Speaker 14: home Jake Powler's We Made It mob We Flipped Made It.
Speaker 14: Good morning, Jake Polish, what flippant go change? Today is
Speaker 14: off to a flipping amazing start. We're moving into the
Speaker 14: new Team ten house. We already got the flipping car
Speaker 14: part in the driveway. I mean, come on, it's official.
Speaker 2: Maybe still the most famous high posts to this day.
Speaker 2: Jake Paul's Team ten was omnipotent online in the mid
Speaker 2: to late twenty tens, but for the brothers, tasering two
Speaker 2: dead rats and getting demonetized on YouTube later, as well
Speaker 2: as both having terrible, botched rap careers that were mostly
Speaker 2: just plugs for merch. Here's one of Logan's worst and
Speaker 2: I heard.
Speaker 3: You from the North, but I'm from Ohio.
Speaker 10: Christmas round the corner.
Speaker 14: Get your merch thinking biou you Marrie, Yeah boy, I'm
Speaker 14: the maty.
Speaker 5: Why you freely zart.
Speaker 2: The brothers found that they had to continue pivoting because
Speaker 2: they were getting canceled intermittently for truly horrific stuff. At
Speaker 2: age twenty three, older than Haley Welch is right now
Speaker 2: and well into his internet fame, Logan Paul famously made
Speaker 2: content in the quote unquote Japanese suicide forest for clickbait,
Speaker 2: hosting videos of recently deceased bodies while joking and making
Speaker 2: YouTube thumbnail face about it. Not only is this truly disgusting,
Speaker 2: but keep in mind that the audience for the Paul
Speaker 2: Brothers at the time were overwhelmingly children, and by extension,
Speaker 2: this put Logan Paul at the forefront of the disingenuous
Speaker 2: YouTube apology format. I've made a severe and continuous lapse
Speaker 2: in my judgment and I don't expect to be forgiven.
Speaker 2: I'm simply here to apologize, but Jake and Logan persisted
Speaker 2: cleanly into Web three point zero, the post COVID era,
Speaker 2: defined by long, meandering YouTube podcast with conspiracy theorists pivoting
Speaker 2: to boxing, an NFT scam called crypto Zoo that, from
Speaker 2: what I can tell, sold NFTs of zoo, animal stock images,
Speaker 2: military defense startups, abandoning their pet pigs, going full Trump,
Speaker 2: and donating five figures to his twenty twenty four fundraising efforts,
Speaker 2: interviewing Trump and solidifying the Paul's place in the New
Speaker 2: manisphere of late twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3: Give a fight, you brother, not in real life.
Speaker 5: You've practiced a little bit.
Speaker 11: Never We've never even sparred, but I was willing to
Speaker 11: step in from Mike Tyson when Tyson got sick, and
Speaker 11: we actually ran it up the chain in that foot.
Speaker 3: It's hard for brothers to fight, though, well.
Speaker 10: Me and Jake decided we both come from a place
Speaker 10: of love.
Speaker 2: That was Logan and in Jake's case, pertinently to this story,
Speaker 2: a sports betting app called Better, which eventually brought on
Speaker 2: some podcasts to basically promote the app. And that's thankfully
Speaker 2: all you need to know about the Paul Brothers for
Speaker 2: the purposes of this show, but keep in mind what
Speaker 2: the Paul Brothers have in common with Haley Welch. They
Speaker 2: became famous at random online, but they, unlike her, are
Speaker 2: made of teflon. The more they're canceled, the further right
Speaker 2: and audience they court, which is pretty normal practice at
Speaker 2: this point. But I do think the fact that their
Speaker 2: men makes it a lot easier for them to keep
Speaker 2: bouncing back, because white guys are the people we're conditioned
Speaker 2: to give redemption. Arcs two and I know a lot
Speaker 2: of that sounded vague and didn't attribute things to one
Speaker 2: brother or the other, but to be honest, I'm not
Speaker 2: paid enough to tell them apart. But having done all
Speaker 2: this stuff and still remaining successful enough for the recent
Speaker 2: Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson, a convicted rapist Netflix boxing match,
Speaker 2: to become one of the most successful stream sports events ever,
Speaker 2: it's bleak. The Polls have found a lot of success
Speaker 2: doing whatever the most annoying profitable thing to do is
Speaker 2: in any given online moment, and as much as I
Speaker 2: hate to hand it to them, they've pioneered a lot
Speaker 2: of annoying scammy trends over the last decade, and it's
Speaker 2: the younger Paul Jake, who founded the Better app and
Speaker 2: bravely fought that convicted rapist two and a half times
Speaker 2: his age on the world's largest streaming platform, who ends
Speaker 2: up seeing an opportunity in Haley Welch enter talk to A.
Speaker 2: But it almost wasn't called talk to A. Check this out.
Speaker 7: So it's a really good name for the podcast. I was,
Speaker 7: I was very right there a girl.
Speaker 3: It's really good.
Speaker 11: I do.
Speaker 3: Look a few different ones like what else do you?
Speaker 3: Was you get me?
Speaker 4: And then there was this one. What was the other one?
Speaker 4: Sweet tea sixteen minutes, A little smarter, it's like.
Speaker 2: But you might remember. People were frustrated to see Haley
Speaker 2: expand her influence, some because she was trying to capitalize
Speaker 2: on the attention, and in my case, because aligning yourself
Speaker 2: with the Paul Brothers is a bad sign. Not a
Speaker 2: surprising call, to be clear, because the appearances that Haley
Speaker 2: had made thus far fell somewhere between center libertarian right.
Speaker 2: So people freaked out about cancel culture and making dick
Speaker 2: jokes as a full time job well into their forties.
Speaker 2: But what's interesting is that many of these appearances and
Speaker 2: early guests are pretty even split of people who are
Speaker 2: either ten or more years older than Haley is or
Speaker 2: people currently employed by Barstool Sports, so it is clear
Speaker 2: what media group she's falling into, and it's a lucrative
Speaker 2: group of people. And while some of them are mainstream names,
Speaker 2: most are niche popular or got their start on the
Speaker 2: Internet and seem to have been chosen to pull in
Speaker 2: a wider audience for Hayley, from younger guests like Jojo
Speaker 2: Siwa and country singer Dasha to high profile comedians like
Speaker 2: Hannah Burner and Whitney Cummings to more popular, center to
Speaker 2: conservative podcast hosts like Brooks Schofield, Caitlin Bristow and Breonna
Speaker 2: Chicken fry De, Teke Adjason Bros. And business bros like
Speaker 2: Jake Paul Whiz Khalifa and I'm not kidding Mark Hubin.
Speaker 2: That man will talk to fucking anyone. So as the
Speaker 2: talk to a historian du jour, I'm convinced what happens
Speaker 2: on this show that's worth discussing because most of the
Speaker 2: comments on the YouTube releases of the podcast, which peak
Speaker 2: at two point seven million views on the debut episode
Speaker 2: and reach their low at around a quarter million views,
Speaker 2: as well as charting on conventional podcast charts. Most commenters
Speaker 2: don't appear to be watching the show.
Speaker 10: I'm a forty one year old surgeon mid operation. I
Speaker 10: got an important message that the Talk toua podcast was released.
Speaker 10: I dropped everything and rushed home immediately. Thank you for
Speaker 10: saving my life.
Speaker 8: Talk Tua currently fighting on the frontlines in Ukraine and
Speaker 8: everyone has called truce to watch episode one of the
Speaker 8: Talk Tua podcast. Amen.
Speaker 10: I was in the middle of driving a school bus
Speaker 10: full of kids on the highway when I got this notification.
Speaker 10: I jumped out of the bus, causing a nineteen cop
Speaker 10: pile up, just to run home and watch this podcast.
Speaker 10: Thank you, missus, Talktua. You are truly inspiration.
Speaker 2: So what happens when you do listen to the show.
Speaker 2: Here's a short tour In episode one with Whitney Cummings,
Speaker 2: we learned that the podcast is being recorded in la
Speaker 2: as well as are introduced to the people who Haley
Speaker 2: is surrounded by more or less constantly. There is, of
Speaker 2: course Chelsea, who serves as a coh who they cut
Speaker 2: to every once in a while. Also her manager Jamie,
Speaker 2: who seems like a real piece of work and seemingly
Speaker 2: a publicist from time to time. During episode one, Haley
Speaker 2: talks about how she recently has taken her first flank
Speaker 2: ever from Nashville to LA and holds her own pretty well,
Speaker 2: although Whitney Cummings is pretty generous and encouraging about making
Speaker 2: sure the conversation keeps moving, and there's a bone chilling
Speaker 2: pattern established for this first time host, the transition from
Speaker 2: being a spirited conversation with other people who a dead
Speaker 2: eyed reading of an ad for Jake Paul's shitty sports
Speaker 2: betting app but.
Speaker 3: Like, so that's something that is such a breath of
Speaker 3: fresh air about you. It is you know, I agree.
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna be real with y'all. I was never
Speaker 4: the biggest football fan. I honestly don't even get the
Speaker 4: rules that much. But what I do know is I
Speaker 4: like Kevin fun and winning money and better picks. Lets
Speaker 4: you went up to a thousand times your money.
Speaker 2: These interruptions get increasingly weird as the show continues, but
Speaker 2: the only other thing really worth mentioning here is that
Speaker 2: Whitney Cummings gives Hayle the following misleading reassurance at the
Speaker 2: end of her appearance.
Speaker 11: So, no, I'm proud of the people you've surrounded yourself with,
Speaker 11: because that makes or breaks you mentally, financially says everything.
Speaker 3: So you have amazing taste in humans.
Speaker 2: Whoops. Pass forward to episode three with Caitlin Bristow, where
Speaker 2: Haley shares the following terrifying prophetic dream.
Speaker 4: So, I actually had a dream about Matt Rife a
Speaker 4: few weeks ago, and it like traumatized me a little bit.
Speaker 4: This man he come out, He's like, just give me
Speaker 4: a minute, you know, I'll be right back.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay.
Speaker 4: He comes back and he's like looking at me off
Speaker 4: of weirds. I was like, okay, I need to get
Speaker 4: away from him. I start running from him and hide
Speaker 4: in this closet and there's a bunch of dead girls
Speaker 4: in this closet and I get in it.
Speaker 2: He still killed, you.
Speaker 3: Know, I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 4: He opens the door and finds me, and I like
Speaker 4: dart in between his legs and run out and then
Speaker 4: I'm in a cornfield somehow, and then he runs out
Speaker 4: with an axe and starts like cutting on my ankle.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Episode four, Haley's asked by guest Dasha
Speaker 2: about her mental health whatever.
Speaker 4: Sometimes yeah, okay, if you read like some main shit
Speaker 4: like on an off day, you're like, damn.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what if they're right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Episode five, Haley acknowledges her fucked up in traumatic childhood.
Speaker 2: You had like a crazy childhood.
Speaker 4: I had a very fucked up childhood.
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 4: Yeah, damn, I'm a granny baby. Was that like like
Speaker 4: my granny raised me?
Speaker 9: Oh wait, same as my girlfriend?
Speaker 2: Episode seven, the five million teaser of who is Pooky
Speaker 2: turns into yet another sports gambling ad.
Speaker 4: All right, child big Announcement's time for their revel And
Speaker 4: now I'm not talking about Pooky, and I'm talking about
Speaker 4: the best offer for this NBA season. In honor of
Speaker 4: basketball being bat all new and existing users will get
Speaker 4: a deposit match on better picks.
Speaker 2: Now Chelsea is in the ads as well, but she
Speaker 2: doesn't really say anything. She just stares vacantly into the
Speaker 2: middle distance. And it's around this part of the show
Speaker 2: where guests will regularly quiz Haley on things she doesn't know,
Speaker 2: making her look charmingly uninformed for not knowing who figure
Speaker 2: like Plato and Socrates are. For all of its silliness,
Speaker 2: it's pretty dull, but as talked to a chugs along.
Speaker 2: Haley reaches a few more benchmarks of cultural relevance, including
Speaker 2: the classic weird ASNL reference, come to.
Speaker 13: Me, today's celebrity contestants, We've got the viral sensation of
Speaker 13: the summer, the somehow famous for one sentence, Hailey.
Speaker 5: Welch huh tooy spit on that side?
Speaker 2: That's the one yep in late September, and she made
Speaker 2: more inroads with the conservative tech community by joining Kick
Speaker 2: in early October, Kick being the streaming platform where most
Speaker 2: people go after they've been kicked off of Twitch for
Speaker 2: saying a slur. On Kick, she live streams her appearance
Speaker 2: at a gamer conference. Gaily also makes repeated attempts on
Speaker 2: X to meet Michael Saylor, a bitcoin billionaire who, of
Speaker 2: course has been to court for tax fraud. On X,
Speaker 2: she repeatedly tries to saddle up to eat La Musk,
Speaker 2: hosting a number of AI photoshops as that scary Tesla robot,
Speaker 2: as well as advocating to free Ross Ulbricht, who's currently
Speaker 2: serving a life sentence for running the darknet monolith Silk Road.
Speaker 2: While Haley never advocates for Trump explicitly, the way she's
Speaker 2: saddled up to mostly his supporters, gives you an idea
Speaker 2: of the audience she's interested in. On October ninth, mister Beast,
Speaker 2: a tremendously successful YouTuber who recently got engaged to try
Speaker 2: to distract from his ongoing reputation troubles, rented out an
Speaker 2: entire movie theater to watch Talk Tua on the big screen,
Speaker 2: captioning it as follows.
Speaker 10: Pov you rent a theater to watch Talk Tua, listen
Speaker 10: to the thick of It by KSI, and eat Lunchley, which.
Speaker 2: In case you have a life, is a canceled YouTuber
Speaker 2: named mister Beast watching a crypto fraud flash in the
Speaker 2: Pan Influencer's podcast Haley Welch while listening to rapper Slash
Speaker 2: Logan Paul's best friend Slash co business owner ks I
Speaker 2: while eating Lunchly. Lunchley is, or maybe it was at
Speaker 2: this point I just checked is a lunchables competitor founded
Speaker 2: by Ksi, Logan, Paul and mister Beast that famously has
Speaker 2: a lot of disgusting mold in it. Anyways, nice plug
Speaker 2: for talk to by mister Beast. Of course, the reason
Speaker 2: mister Beast did that was synergy Lunchley is a Paul
Speaker 2: endeavor and Hailey is an employee of the Paul family,
Speaker 2: and that synergy goes both ways. Once the Jake Paul
Speaker 2: versus Mike Tyson fight is announced on Netflix, Haley and
Speaker 2: Chelsea constantly joke about it, mentioned that they're attending, encourage
Speaker 2: others to watch, and jokingly pretend to be rooting for
Speaker 2: convicted rapist Mike Tyson. We have to keep moving. Episode nine,
Speaker 2: released a week before the twenty twenty four election. This
Speaker 2: ad appears, Chelsea, us, what what is it this time?
Speaker 4: Did you know you can bet on the election.
Speaker 8: Like you can bet on who's going to be president.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's this new app called Koushi.
Speaker 8: No way, I gotta see this for myself.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, you can bet on different events too.
Speaker 2: No way, I've got to see it for myself. Episode ten,
Speaker 2: Jake Paul appears ahead of his dumb ass Netflix fight
Speaker 2: and goes full Trump.
Speaker 15: Then there still be the hate of oh, fight someone
Speaker 15: your own age, because people are brain dead, actually, and
Speaker 15: they don't look at the actual facts, which is probably
Speaker 15: why a lot of people are voting for Kamala Harris.
Speaker 15: But it's a sad world out there.
Speaker 2: In this episode, Hayley's boyfriend Pooky aka Kelby, is revealed
Speaker 2: and immediately starts doing a sports gambling ad with her.
Speaker 4: Pooky, I got a surprise for you.
Speaker 2: Nothing you do surprises me anymore.
Speaker 4: Game times hooking us up. We're gonna be able to
Speaker 4: get some good tickets here. You pick pick your top
Speaker 4: three and then I'll pick out of those.
Speaker 15: Can it be a game a concert?
Speaker 5: I can choose anything?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And speaking of Pooky, the day after he appears on
Speaker 2: Talk Toua, Hailey and her team launch her first and
Speaker 2: possibly her last, app, called Pooky Tools. Why Not I've
Speaker 2: downloaded the app, but refused to pay to use it,
Speaker 2: although most reviews indicate that while it markets itself as
Speaker 2: a dating app, it mainly seems to be an AI
Speaker 2: tool that tells you how tall someone is when you
Speaker 2: point your phone at it, and much like the podcast,
Speaker 2: it's unclear if anyone has ever actually used Pooky Tools,
Speaker 2: because all of the reviews on the app store seemed
Speaker 2: to be jokes, such as where do I begin?
Speaker 10: This app has absolutely ruined my life. I can't believe
Speaker 10: Hailey Welch, the creator of Talk Tua, would do this
Speaker 10: to me I now have a court here for domestic
Speaker 10: violence charges against me and drunk driving, which both didn't happen.
Speaker 10: I thought this app would help me get all the
Speaker 10: huzz but I did not. I am very disappointed Hailey Welch,
Speaker 10: but I do love talk to him.
Speaker 2: Don't worry. The jokes become increasingly sexually violent as you scroll.
Speaker 2: Episode eleven is whiz Khalifa promoting his bespoke weed brand.
Speaker 2: Episode twelve is Mark Cuban, who both talks to Chelsea
Speaker 2: and Pooky about how Haley takes massive shits and more
Speaker 2: interestingly explicitly warrens Haley Welch not to go into crypto.
Speaker 2: Check out this transition in this episode. I kind of
Speaker 2: love it.
Speaker 12: Man.
Speaker 4: It's rough out.
Speaker 5: Here, It is really rough out here. But I have
Speaker 5: no found respect for you.
Speaker 9: Hailey.
Speaker 3: Thank you, right, thank you the win.
Speaker 2: Do you do anything with crypto?
Speaker 3: I do a lot with crypto?
Speaker 2: Actually, Okay, let's hear the rest of the clip.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and can I give you some Yeah?
Speaker 9: I'll you Okay, are you sure you're gonna watch? I
Speaker 9: don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm not a big a fan about meme coins. I
Speaker 3: love crypto, but but you could make some money from it.
Speaker 11: There's no doubt about it, no doubt about it.
Speaker 2: So a weird, cautious endorsement where a Cuban is basically like, yeah,
Speaker 2: meme coins are a scam, but you could make money
Speaker 2: off of it, sure enough. And on the final episode
Speaker 2: of Talk to A Thus Far, episode twelve titled How
Speaker 2: Not to Get Canceled, released on December third. It's not
Speaker 2: a great episode, but it might be the final episode
Speaker 2: of Talk to A we ever get because it was
Speaker 2: released just one day before Haley Welch's meme coin dropped
Speaker 2: and very possibly vaporized her career altogether. Talk to A
Speaker 2: falls so a crypto scam can emerge, and that's next
Speaker 2: time on our final part of the hawk Tuit trilogy
Speaker 2: on sixteenth Minute. Sixteenth Minute is a production of Pool
Speaker 2: Zone Media and iHeart Radio. It is written, posted, and
Speaker 2: produced by me Jamie Rostis. Our executive producers are Sophie
Speaker 2: Lickterman and Robert Evans leamasing Ian Johnson is our supervising
Speaker 2: producer and our editor.
Speaker 5: Our theme song.
Speaker 2: Is by Sad thirteen. Voice acting is from Grant Crater
Speaker 2: and pet Shout outs to our dog producer Anderson My
Speaker 2: Kat's flea Casper, and by pet Rothbert, who will outlive
Speaker 2: us all Bye.