1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:10,800 Speaker 1: Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing In. It's 3 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: a Thursday episode Thursday, and we're really excited because, you 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: know how we were just talking about, we're reinvigorated, we're 5 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: pitching our own guests. We're getting the girls we want, 6 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: and we got one. We got one. We have Victoria 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: Garrick on the podcast today and she Tanya actually sent 8 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 1: me a video of hers um. She talks a lot 9 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: about body positivity and loving yourself and just like kind 10 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:37,599 Speaker 1: of no filters. She's basically Tanya as a TikToker. Yeah, yeah, 11 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: if I knew how to make those things, that's what 12 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:43,199 Speaker 1: I would do. But she's amazing and I listened to 13 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: our podcast this morning. She she does a lot. She's 14 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: just like one of those people who has her hand 15 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: and so many things. And thank God because she's got 16 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: a really good message. So we're going to get right 17 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: into that and I hope you enjoy our conversation. You know, 18 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: we put a piece of bait on a pole and 19 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: we threw it into the ocean and we got ourselves 20 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 1: our first dolphin mermaid. UH can catch but you know, 21 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: I can perfect it later, but I just I'm excited 22 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,119 Speaker 1: because this is all coming to Fruition. Yeah, this is great. 23 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,119 Speaker 1: Landed a one, yeah that's right, maybe a big one, 24 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: and we're super excited. So please welcome Victoria Garrett. Oh 25 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: my gosh, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. 26 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: So I'm just recently met Victoria because we were both 27 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: at this um Selena Gomez Rare beauty event and you 28 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 1: approached me. You said, you know, you listen to podcasts. 29 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: We talked about you know, all right, You're very nice 30 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: to me. I'm like, not an influencer, and so going 31 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 1: to these influencer events, I'm just like very uncomfortble because 32 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, what would do with my hands? Everybody's filming 33 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: stuff and I'm just like here, you know what I mean. 34 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 1: You're so cool, Tanya. You're like not because you're not 35 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: because you're not an influencer. You're like that next level. 36 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: You're like I would get to like legitimate. I was like, 37 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I need to go say hello, like 38 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: I'm fan girling, but then I don't want to be 39 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: and those are the us too. It's like you don't 40 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: want to fan girl because everyone tries to act like 41 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: it's so it's so stupid. And it was so nice 42 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: because like literally everybody's just filming stuff and I'm like 43 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 1: standing there, and of course I was like the first 44 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,800 Speaker 1: one there because I showed up on time. I was like, oh, 45 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: didn't know you go late today? Thing, you know what 46 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: I mean? Like, I like and you came up to 47 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: me and we were talking about, you know, podcasts and 48 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 1: and all that stuff, and so I started following you 49 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: on Instagram and I was just like, this girl, is 50 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,359 Speaker 1: it like you just it's a breath of fresh air 51 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: on on social media. And I we were like talking 52 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: about guests that we wanted, and I was like, we 53 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,519 Speaker 1: just gotta get her. Oh my gosh, thank you. I'm 54 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: so excited. And I've been listening to your show for 55 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: a while and big fans of you both, so I'm excited. 56 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,079 Speaker 1: I'm excited for the three of us. You know, let's well, 57 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 1: let's let's get into it. I know, it's so fun 58 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: having someone who has their own podcast. I feel like 59 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: the conversation is really gonna float today. I know. But also, 60 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 1: you know what for people that are listening that might 61 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: not be familiar with you, how do you like because 62 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: you do so many things, how would you say, like 63 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: when you when you like, when you're introd, what do 64 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: people say you do so much? If so? In my terms, 65 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: I would literally say, I am a girl living her 66 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: own life and I pretty much share every part of 67 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: it on social media. But you know, depending who you ask, 68 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 1: there's people who would say, um, you know, I'm a 69 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: TikToker and they love following my body image and mental 70 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: health videos. Um, student athletes would say, I'm a public speaker. 71 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 1: I speak at different schools. I was a volleyball player 72 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: at USC and I give a Ted talk and that's 73 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,839 Speaker 1: kind of what ended up snowballing into everything I do now. 74 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm a podcast host. I pretty much just 75 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: create content everywhere you consume it, and the emphasis is 76 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: on realness and authenticity, and I kind of cringe with 77 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: like authenticity, But I was doing this in before it 78 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: was trending, So I just always like to throw that 79 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: out there. You were being authentic before it was cool 80 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: to be out. Yeah, a crusader, true blazer. I just 81 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: feel like nowadays people think authenticities trending, and so their 82 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: authenticity isn't a is like genuine and so I like 83 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: to just kind of not like I didn't go viral 84 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 1: in the pandemic, Like I've been grinding it this while. Yeah. No, 85 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: it's so funny. You're like people being authentic as like 86 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: a photo dump and they're like, oh, you know here 87 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: I am just in the morning or you know what 88 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 1: I mean. It's like, yeah, it's you know, it's I mean, 89 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 1: it's good that it's becoming something more people want to do. UM. 90 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 1: Intention is the most important thing. I mean I was 91 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 1: just about to say, because sometimes I struggle with UM. 92 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: There's so much like there's the vulnerability. Sometimes feel so 93 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: vulnerable that it feels like are you sharing this in 94 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 1: the in the with the need to get the attention 95 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: from it? Which is hard because it's like if someone 96 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: needs to get something off their chest, they have every 97 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,839 Speaker 1: right to do it. But because it's become such a 98 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: hate to say trend because people do get um the 99 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: relatability factor from it. Sometimes, as someone who's a little 100 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: more private, I'm just like, how are they sharing this 101 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 1: with so many people? Like how do you? I overthink everything, 102 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: so I'm always like panicked of everything I share. So 103 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: it is like that exactly what you said It's all 104 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: about the intention of like why are you sharing this? 105 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: And I get that question a lot because I literally, 106 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm talking about my pcos, my period sometimes 107 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: nipple hair, and I'm like my freaking fiance's brothers follow me, 108 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,919 Speaker 1: you know, and people are like, how do you impose this? 109 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: And I'm like, you know what, this is how I 110 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: choose to show up in the world, and it's never 111 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: gonna be different. I don't. I don't have an off 112 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 1: switch either, which sometimes is bad. Like I that's something 113 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,039 Speaker 1: I'm trying to even work on in my own world. 114 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 1: Is like when I do get to jump to level 115 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 1: ten with everyone, even strangers, sometimes I do feel a 116 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: little bit lonely because I don't I'm not always getting 117 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: that from others back, but it's it's I mean, when 118 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: I we can talk about this too. But when I 119 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: was growing up, especially in high school and then early college, 120 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:02,359 Speaker 1: I was so filtered, so poised, just so so feeling 121 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: like I had to present this exact perfect image that 122 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 1: when I started when that led me down rock bottom, 123 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 1: and then I turned around to just wanted to start healing. 124 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: This is like all I know now, and it's what 125 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 1: keeps me happy. You know, Tanya is also very much 126 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 1: like she is. She shares about things that even sometimes 127 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, that's going out into the world, that's going 128 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: out there. But I I appreciate it so much because 129 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 1: I also grew up in a very like and still 130 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: I'm still working on it. Like everything needs to appear perfect, 131 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 1: everything needs to appear put together, everything needs to appear graceful, 132 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,279 Speaker 1: and it's just not reality. And so like I watched 133 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 1: your story and you were talking about smoking weed and 134 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,280 Speaker 1: uh drinking and like not over the conversation about not 135 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,040 Speaker 1: over eating when you are high or drunk, and you 136 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: someone said, like, I really appreciate you sharing that, and 137 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: you said, I reread it fifty times before I actually 138 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 1: shared it. And I talked about I I eat edibles 139 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: all the time, and I always have people reach out 140 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: and they're like, I would have never thought you'd, you know, 141 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,320 Speaker 1: take edibles or having you know, have an opinion on it, 142 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: and it's to me I felt, so it's like, oh, 143 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: it's part of my life. But then as you share 144 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: those things, you're like, oh, people have an opinion about everything. 145 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: And that's the first time I ever publicly like said, yeah, 146 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: I smoke here and there on my Instagram because I 147 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: too feel like I'm grouped in this, like you know, 148 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: I got I have younger followers, moms like to follow me. 149 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: I was a college athlete, so it was very you know, 150 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: with coaches in school, you know, you never could post 151 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: anything that was not not something that would make you 152 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: a role model. UM like yeah, And so I answered 153 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: the question. I said, yeah, I smoke here and there, 154 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: just like I drink here and there. And but the 155 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: reason is because I think we all know what it's 156 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: like to go out drinking, come home and eat your 157 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: entire kitchen and really use like getting higher getting drunk 158 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: as an excuse to to binge or you know too 159 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: if you don't have a great relationship with food. And 160 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: so for me, I was like, yeah, I have to 161 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: quote unquote confess that I smoke sometimes and I drink 162 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 1: sometimes because I think the root of the conversation is meaningful, 163 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: because I mean, I had some people responding saying, yes, 164 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: I am a real problem with binge, eating when I'm 165 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: drunk or coming home at night, um or getting high 166 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: to eat because I'm restricting during the day. So honestly, 167 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: now I want to talk about it more because that 168 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: kind of encouraged me. I'm like, Okay, great, I'll do 169 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: it next time. And I only read it forty times. 170 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: So yeah, what are your thoughts on being a role 171 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: I I have a lot of feelings about being a 172 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: role model because I think a lot of pressure that 173 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: I felt growing up was being a role model, and 174 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: I there's always this certain pressure, and I think especially 175 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: UM as like a student athlete, I imagine there's is 176 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 1: that like you're the athlete, your coaches are watching, younger 177 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: kids are watching, parents are watching. What are your thoughts 178 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: on being a role model or that term? I guess 179 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: I feel like you get looped or kind of labeled 180 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: as one thing, and then we grow and we change 181 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: and we evolved, but then you don't feel like you're 182 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: really allowed to do those things. I think for anyone listening, 183 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: whether you're an influencer, UM, you're in the you're in 184 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,319 Speaker 1: the public eye in some aspect, or you're not. I mean, 185 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: we have family and friends who when we grow up say, oh, 186 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 1: you're the smart kid or you're the overachiever, and then 187 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: what if you don't want to be that anymore? And 188 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: so I really struggled with that in one because I 189 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: felt like I was at this turning point where, look, 190 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: I'm no longer a volleyball player. I'm not I'm not 191 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 1: on the team. I graduated college. I'm not even a 192 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: college student. And so for all of my content to 193 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 1: be geared and tied towards this version of me who 194 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: I loved and I learned a lot from, I'm not 195 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,479 Speaker 1: her anymore. Like I'm I'm happy, I'm not an intodepressants. 196 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 1: I still love to talk about mental health, but I 197 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: don't want to recount the same depressive episode that I 198 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 1: talked about my TED talk five years ago, literally, And 199 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,199 Speaker 1: so I had to be like, yeah, I'm gonna change, 200 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna post about my outfits and I'm gonna 201 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: and you might hate it and it might not serve, 202 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:11,199 Speaker 1: but then that's fine. Maybe we we I was helpful 203 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: for you at a certain point in your life, and 204 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,559 Speaker 1: now for people who are getting married or people who 205 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: are in their young twenties finger out the careers, maybe 206 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: I can help them now. So I think I just 207 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: had to realize that the more you try to show 208 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 1: up and be something for everyone else, you're like losing 209 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: sight of what actually makes you happy and brings you joy. 210 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: And I think if you actually want to inspire people 211 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:39,320 Speaker 1: or help people, even in small ways, the most inspiring 212 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 1: thing I've seen others is them being themselves. I love that. 213 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 1: So I think it's powerful to be yourself. Yeah, I 214 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,200 Speaker 1: think it's like I I like that, Like you you 215 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: had a season where that person saught you as like 216 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 1: someone or goals that they wanted to set, and someone 217 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: who was living those goals. And then because when I 218 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: was on The Bachelor, I was the virgin and so 219 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 1: everyone who was a virgin was like, you're my role model. 220 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 1: And then as soon as I lost my virginity, I 221 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 1: was like, am I no longer a role model because 222 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: that's been taken away because I've changed, you know, And 223 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: there was I was like why am I caring so 224 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,959 Speaker 1: much about my role model status? Over like how am I? 225 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: How is my heart feeling? How am I doing in this? 226 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: You know? And people forget that you're human. I mean 227 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: they see you on the show and they think that 228 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: they know you and they don't. I mean people think 229 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: that they know me, and yes they do, Like I 230 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,840 Speaker 1: don't keep secrets, but you don't. We don't really know 231 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: anyone unless you're actually friends with them or you talked 232 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: to them where you've hung out with them, so um, yeah, 233 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 1: I can imagine that was that was hard, Tanya. Do 234 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 1: you ever feel this way? Oh yeah, yeah, Like I 235 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 1: don't care. It's it's interesting because like I totally feel 236 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: that way, and I get those messages too. Like the 237 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 1: other day when I I supposed to something about how 238 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 1: I had to breakthrough and therapy, I got this long 239 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 1: message from some like troll that was like your life 240 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: is so perfect, like you don't what are you gonna 241 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 1: complain and therapy about you have a great job, you 242 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: have a great boyfriend. Life so hard, And I was like, 243 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 1: screw you, Like you don't know me, Like yeah, I 244 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 1: mean yes you know me. But like I'm dealing with 245 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,200 Speaker 1: like trauma from middle school and the girls that like 246 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 1: said things to me, you know what I mean, Like 247 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 1: these things from our childhood like impact us in such 248 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: a weird way, and like I'm trying to unravel. I 249 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: feel like before the pandemic hit, I was on this 250 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,719 Speaker 1: hamster wheel and I was just like jam packing my 251 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 1: schedule like Becca's like I didn't. I would come home 252 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: and I would just use it as a closet like 253 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: I was just constantly working, constantly doing things. I just 254 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 1: every minute of every day was like on a schedule. 255 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:32,079 Speaker 1: And I realized that that was like to um to 256 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:36,439 Speaker 1: kind of distract what was like really going on like internally, 257 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 1: and so now I'm kind of like unpacking all of that, 258 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,000 Speaker 1: all of those things. But I was just like that, 259 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: you know, people judge you based on, you know, what 260 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 1: they see or what they think that you are, and 261 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 1: it's just like you don't really know somebody, you know 262 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you don't know. We were all 263 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 1: so complex and we're all so layered. Um, so I 264 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I just tell those people back off, 265 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: like myself on this all the time, because we can 266 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: judge people that we don't even know. I mean, if 267 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: if any if you go to like a dinner for 268 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: your friend's birthday and you're meeting their friends you've never met, 269 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: Like we take a look at someone, especially women, and 270 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: we look at other women and we define, oh, I 271 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 1: know everything about this girl, and us on a go 272 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: for me, I don't like this girl, I don't like 273 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: the vibes, are don't like the way she dressed her. 274 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,320 Speaker 1: Who would like we judge people so often, and I've 275 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: really been trying to stop doing that because they don't 276 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: want people to do that to me. And even with celebrities, 277 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,680 Speaker 1: like I mean, we all have celebrities we think of 278 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: who we've never ever met that you're like, hindn't like 279 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: this person, this girl is so annoyed or whatnot. We 280 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,200 Speaker 1: don't even know them. And I think we can all 281 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 1: recount times where we've finally gotten to notice someone and 282 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: they've really surprised us. And it's not even that they're 283 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 1: surprising us, it's that we judge them without all the 284 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: information and then are like kind of unlearning whatever it 285 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: is we assume. So I think, yeah, it's it's so 286 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 1: important to just remind yourself. Everyone cries themselves to sleep. 287 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: Everyone else a story. We don't know everything. And the 288 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,560 Speaker 1: thing two is like I think people think therapy is 289 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: just this place to kind of like self indulge, you 290 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: know what I mean. I think there's kind of this misconception, misconception, 291 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: and um, it's like it's not so much self indulged, 292 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 1: but also figuring out why you work and think and 293 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,280 Speaker 1: do the things that you do and kind of learning that. 294 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 1: Like for me, one of the big things was like 295 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: there's right and wrong. Like it was like this isn't right, 296 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 1: this isn't right, and it's like it's my own life, 297 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 1: like it's whatever I want it to be. And that 298 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: was such a hard concept for me to like under understand, 299 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 1: and I was living my life trying to always do 300 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: like this is right, this is right, this is the 301 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: way I'm supposed to do it, when that that's not 302 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: even like a reality, do you know what I mean? 303 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 1: So it's like I think people just have this warped 304 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 1: perception of what therapy is and it's just like it's 305 00:14:46,520 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: not necessarily that for everybody. Yeah, did you you went 306 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 1: to Coachella? Right? Did you? I saw this was an 307 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: interesting year because it was the first year back in 308 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: a few years and TikTok was like this new element 309 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: to it, and um, there were so many conversations about 310 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: the fake fun content of like it appeared, you know, 311 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 1: like in the past you would see photos and you 312 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: just assumed it was it was fun because no one 313 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: was saying otherwise. You know, you were like they're having 314 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: the time of their lives. And this year there was 315 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: this like kind of peel back of the curtain where 316 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,880 Speaker 1: people are like, I'm in this I think Ramy Remy 317 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: uh Beader was like, I'm in this field alone and 318 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 1: I don't know where anyone is my friends, I don't 319 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 1: know where anyone is at and I've been bumped, like 320 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: multiple times, I've waited in lines for drinks. Did you 321 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: have What was your experience there, because, um, I'm assuming 322 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 1: you were kind of going to the parties and the 323 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 1: events and stuff. Well, actually, it's funny because I purposely 324 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: did not want to go with the brand. I didn't 325 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 1: want to work. I wanted to go with my fiance, 326 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,840 Speaker 1: my best friend in the world, and I wanted to 327 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: just like have a great time. I wanted to buy 328 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: my own ticket. I didn't want to be doing all 329 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 1: this pressed stuff, meeting all these people. I went to 330 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 1: one brand event on one day, which was fun. I 331 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 1: wanted to go check that out. But for the most part, 332 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 1: I was trying to get away from like feeling like 333 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: I needed to curate things. I think I did like 334 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: three different Instagram posts which were super easy for me 335 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: to do. Um, but back I totally saw a TikTok 336 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: describing what you were saying. You know, this curated fun 337 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 1: like we're going there and the amount of people I 338 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: saw at the festival, I mean just taking photos. But 339 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 1: also this thing we love to do now is you 340 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 1: have someone hold the video, you get it all set up, 341 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: and then you go running. You have fun and you 342 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 1: dance and then you add the music in later, or 343 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 1: then you fralic in of the field and you turn 344 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:05,399 Speaker 1: around and like the person films you. And I did 345 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: a video like that actually because the message was, you know, 346 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,399 Speaker 1: all my years of athletics, I've never got to do 347 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 1: fund things like this and how cool that I'm here. 348 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 1: But yeah, people, if we assess what the video is, 349 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 1: Max held the camera, I skipped out for fifteen seconds, 350 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 1: turned around and smiled like we we performed and curated 351 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: that moment. But it's also interesting because it's like, as 352 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: a content creator, I know that's going to do well, 353 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: and the video performed ball and it hit the numbers, 354 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 1: and I'm creating content. So I think it's so true 355 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 1: like nowadays people feel the need to share everything that 356 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 1: is going on, and it's almost like if if other 357 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 1: people don't see it, then like did it happen? You know, 358 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 1: I've noticed at birthday parties when your friends making their 359 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: wish everyone's filling to no one's just sitting there singing 360 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 1: happy birthdays, staring at their friend, like being present. So 361 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: it's it's wild the way that we are documenting, curating 362 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:09,679 Speaker 1: and sharing fun. It's so true. And there I've worked so, 363 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I have tried so hard to find that 364 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: balance of being able to go to a beautiful place 365 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 1: and embrace it and like take it all in, and 366 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 1: also being able to document it so I can look 367 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 1: back on and remember and then being like, you know, 368 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 1: looking through the photos and be like, oh, maybe I 369 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 1: can make a real or TikTok out of this, you know, 370 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,440 Speaker 1: and I think, but there is that moment you're so true. 371 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,919 Speaker 1: Like I had so many birthdays this past weekend, and 372 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 1: not one of them was I just sitting watching I was, 373 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,120 Speaker 1: oh my god, you have to record the blow at 374 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,280 Speaker 1: the camp a cinematic video for all my bread. Yeah, 375 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,720 Speaker 1: and and and there's honestly not to get like super 376 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: deep here, but I've been thinking about this a lot 377 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:52,640 Speaker 1: because it's like we are spending so much time looking 378 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:58,840 Speaker 1: and engaged in this world that exists online, Like it's 379 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 1: a world like through your computer, through your phone. There's 380 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,920 Speaker 1: there's just countless like places you can go and people 381 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 1: you can talk to you and then when you like 382 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,919 Speaker 1: let you let go, you look up and you're in 383 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 1: the world. This is life, you know, And then part 384 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 1: of me feels guilty because I'm creating the content that's 385 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 1: keeping people looking at their phone totally, that's what you know, 386 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,400 Speaker 1: it's I was just thinking that. I'm like, we're all 387 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: on the side of like we're creating, like and so 388 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 1: it's funny for me because I don't really have like 389 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 1: Rebecca can attest to this, I'm not I don't have 390 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 1: like an eye for things, you know, Like I don't 391 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: know how I'm like like the best photo I'm not 392 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 1: gonna make in videos. So I'm really like for me, 393 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,879 Speaker 1: it's like what you see is what you get. Like 394 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 1: I don't know how to do anything, so I just 395 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: do my best and I just post that. But um, 396 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: you know, we're creating this content that is seemingly like 397 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 1: you know, these happy moments, these beautiful you know, fake 398 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 1: fun or whatever, and that's what everybody else is consuming. 399 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,639 Speaker 1: So then they're comparing their lives to like all this 400 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 1: fun and they're just like sitting at work being like, 401 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 1: what the hell am I doing? I'm not having any 402 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 1: fun in my life, and it's just like weird vicious circle. 403 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: People don't and they're not posting the moments that aren't glamorous, 404 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,919 Speaker 1: that aren't fun. I mean, shout out to Remy Um 405 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: for making that video. And that's why I try to 406 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: do a lot on my pagees like hashtag real post 407 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 1: is the other side. I mean, even with wedding. I'm 408 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: getting married, so I'm planning a wedding, and the wedding 409 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,360 Speaker 1: dress shopping process was not glamorous. I would not want 410 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 1: to do it again. Um, it's so much pressure to 411 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 1: find this one dress that's gonna be perfect and everyone's 412 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 1: gonna love and and like I didn't have the best 413 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 1: time doing that. But then I didn't even want to. 414 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 1: I was hesitant to share it because I recognize how 415 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: privilege I am, how blessing him that that that shopping 416 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 1: for a beautiful dress was like stress inducing. Right, So 417 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: it's like there's also times where you want to share 418 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 1: what's not glamorous both Antania. Like you said before about therapy, 419 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 1: You're worried people are gonna say, you know, no one cares, Like, 420 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 1: what do you have to complain about? It's like, but 421 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,199 Speaker 1: I think I think perspective's huge, right. We can have 422 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 1: perspective for like people who have a worse and a 423 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: very very important situations happening in the world, of course, 424 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,200 Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean that we're not going to feel 425 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 1: pain and stress or some type of way when little 426 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: things happen in our lives. Those are our lives. We're 427 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: going to feel some type of way. Yeah, I mean, 428 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: I do think social media has there is this uh 429 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: thing where there's so much going on in the world, 430 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,800 Speaker 1: and I think there's there's obviously a time and a 431 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 1: place to acknowledge that and to grieve that. And it's 432 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 1: also fine if you're having a really stressful day because 433 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 1: you've been late to everything, or you've got a parking ticket, 434 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 1: these things that obviously in the grand scheme of things 435 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 1: might not affect you for long. But people get so upset. 436 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,240 Speaker 1: It's like, how could you complain about that? You have 437 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: an amazing life, Like there's so many bigger things going 438 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,159 Speaker 1: on in the world, and it's like, well, I still 439 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,360 Speaker 1: have a stressful day. I can still have a stressful day. 440 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: Like that doesn't take away my personal experience. And so 441 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,879 Speaker 1: with Tanya saying like people get on the Internet and 442 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: see and they're sitting at their desk being like I 443 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 1: would give anything to be going to that event. Their 444 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 1: first response when you post something it can be like 445 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: a negative thing because they're like I want to be 446 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,879 Speaker 1: doing what they're doing. And the only way to process 447 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,880 Speaker 1: that feeling is to comment something negative. You know. It's 448 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: like created this toxic like and I need to give 449 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 1: my opinion to everything. Yeah, And jumping off of that 450 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 1: with I think another important conversation is our need to 451 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: always have more. You know, when you were mentioning looking 452 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,239 Speaker 1: at someone's page and thinking if I could have what 453 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 1: they have, I feel like I'm always thinking if I 454 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 1: if I did that deal, or if I hit this 455 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 1: follower count, or if I interviewed this guest, you know, 456 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:41,400 Speaker 1: then then then then I'll be content. And it's like 457 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 1: I can track back all these things I've wanted to 458 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 1: achieve in my life and I'm only I'm only I'm 459 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: twenty five. But I've done some things that are exciting. 460 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 1: But now it's like there's always the next thing. There's 461 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 1: always more, And I've really had to sit down and 462 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 1: tell myself, like more will always be there. More is 463 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: always there. But like more is not life, and life 464 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: is what happens now, you know, and just come back 465 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 1: to the process. You know. The Kardashians are always wanting more. 466 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 1: And I think if we look at the Kardashians or 467 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 1: like they have everything and there's always more, Like they're 468 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: always creating or branding or doing more, and they're a 469 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: great example of like it's natural that we always are 470 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: striving for that. But is it healthy? Is it healthy 471 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,919 Speaker 1: to always be in that mindset? I mean, and it 472 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 1: can be fulfilling. I mean there's people who love like 473 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: if that brings them joy, but people who do love 474 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,199 Speaker 1: to flop for alic at the festival and curate that 475 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 1: content it makes them happy, like to each their own, 476 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: you know. But I think the majority of people were 477 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:41,160 Speaker 1: keeping up with the Joneses and we don't even know why. Yeah, 478 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 1: it's so true, and like people are maxing out their 479 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,880 Speaker 1: credit cards to buy all these things that they see 480 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:49,199 Speaker 1: people holding, or these new trendy bags or shoes or whatever, 481 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,119 Speaker 1: and it's just like it's so backwards and so bad. 482 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: You care so much about what other people think all 483 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,639 Speaker 1: the time, Like we just always and I'm guilty of 484 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,000 Speaker 1: this too. I mean, what do they think of me? 485 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,720 Speaker 1: What will they think of me? Like, and it's just 486 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: you know, it's interesting. You know, we've been watching television 487 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 1: since forever and that's content, curated content. We're watching it. 488 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 1: So there, that's what social media is, Like, what do 489 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 1: we care so much? Well? Social media gives us access 490 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: to like that person's real life. Like before we lived 491 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 1: for the tabloids to snapture a photo of Jessica Alba 492 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 1: for the stars are just like us at the supermarket. 493 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,600 Speaker 1: Like now she has her own Instagram where she can 494 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,200 Speaker 1: hop on face to face and clear up anything, talk 495 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,960 Speaker 1: about anything like, So I think I think that's the 496 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 1: interesting thing is it's not a scripted TV show that 497 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 1: play is like twice a week, you know. Yeah, and 498 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: the filters and I mean, there's so much to social 499 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,639 Speaker 1: media that we never even had to think or what 500 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,159 Speaker 1: the filters are. Gnarly, those are my favorite posts of 501 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,919 Speaker 1: yours when you post like the picture and then like 502 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 1: what it really looked like after you like did all 503 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 1: the editing, And I'm just like, that's what I think. 504 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,680 Speaker 1: People don't realize what you can do with face tune. 505 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,439 Speaker 1: You can literally be a size zero with big boobs 506 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,879 Speaker 1: and a big butt and clear up your teeth and 507 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: your skin with like a flip of a switch sixty seconds. 508 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 1: Like literally, I always joke with all the Kardashian photoshop fills, 509 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, you should hire me. When I was in college, 510 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 1: I was like, I could do these in five minutes. 511 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 1: I'll be cheaper than whatever you're hiring now. I was 512 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 1: thinking about this on the way here. I when I first, 513 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 1: like after The Bachelor and was on Instagram, it was 514 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,840 Speaker 1: the It was a time of Instagram where everything was aspirational. 515 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 1: There was nothing relatable about it. Like everything that I posted, 516 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,320 Speaker 1: anyone I was following posted, it was all this like 517 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 1: unrealistic like super tan laying on a beach and the beautiful. Yeah, 518 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 1: my waist was snatched, my thighs were skinny, no razor burn. 519 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 1: You know. It's just like that was that mentality, and 520 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 1: it's been hard to kind of like shift out of 521 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,199 Speaker 1: that as people have started talking about it more like 522 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,160 Speaker 1: not using filters. It is like that. It's been hard 523 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,199 Speaker 1: sometimes because I'm like, it was so easy too. I 524 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: remember going to this crazy acne thing and I tried 525 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: to find photos even in my photo album, and I 526 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:14,880 Speaker 1: liked the only I didn't have any that I could 527 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 1: reference because I was just like I can no one 528 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:22,639 Speaker 1: can know. You know, remember that it was bad, But 529 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 1: like people, if I had just posted about it, I've 530 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 1: been like, I don't know what happened. My skin is 531 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,960 Speaker 1: freaking out. I feel like that would have been way 532 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:35,680 Speaker 1: more impactful than my like freakishly airbrushed photos. That guy. 533 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,400 Speaker 1: It reminds me of the post you wrote that went 534 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: so viral that, Like, I literally loved so much when 535 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 1: you were talking about how you're not inspired or moved 536 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 1: by someone's side gap, you're moved and started by who 537 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 1: they are. I thought that was so beautifully written. Yeah, 538 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 1: that was so unexpected. I mean that was like closet poet, 539 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,480 Speaker 1: you know. No, I just I remember thinking, like when 540 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: I get down on myself, I'm like people, no one's 541 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 1: ever like I love following you because you're so pretty 542 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,160 Speaker 1: and skinny. They're like, you're so funny, Like you make 543 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 1: me laugh, you make me smile. I I have. I 544 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 1: don't think I've ever had someone say that they follow 545 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,160 Speaker 1: me because of a physical attribute of mine. And I remember, 546 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 1: I always try to go back to my own words 547 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 1: on that because even sometimes I struggle, and I'm like, 548 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,159 Speaker 1: all these girls are fitting in their tiny little outfits 549 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,960 Speaker 1: and showing their tiny little butt with no cellu white, 550 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: and I feel like I need to be in that 551 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,639 Speaker 1: that same realm too, And I'm like, I'm not twenty 552 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 1: I'm not twenty five anymore, you know, Like I my 553 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,440 Speaker 1: body's changed and that's okay. And I think having Tanya 554 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: and people like you, like, it's so important for girls 555 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 1: to have this, to realize, like click on the filter 556 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: that people are using and see what it does to 557 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 1: your face. Dude. That was That's when I stopped using 558 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,680 Speaker 1: the filters. Was when I was using the Supermodel. I 559 00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,199 Speaker 1: remember the Supermodel and there's this filter called Supermodel, and 560 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 1: it made me look gorgeous and this I think it 561 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 1: was a time when I was broken up with Red Star. 562 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 1: I think that was like the time I was just 563 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 1: trying to like look gorgeous on everything, like every time 564 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,479 Speaker 1: he's looked at my stories. I just wanted to be 565 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: a plus plus and that Supermodel filter did it. And 566 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: I remember taking a picture of my face with the 567 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: Supermodel filter and then taking a picture of my face 568 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 1: without it, and I sent it to this plastic surgeon 569 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 1: and I was like, what do I need to do 570 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: to my face look like this? And then I was like, oh, 571 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,000 Speaker 1: this has gone way too far because he responded with 572 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: like all the procedures that I would need to need 573 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: to get done, and I was just like, and that 574 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,800 Speaker 1: is when I stopped using these filters. Wow, and I'm 575 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,719 Speaker 1: thirty four, Like I'm like a full functioning adult, Like 576 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,560 Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine if I was, you know, like, oh 577 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 1: that's wild. And I literally just actually interviewed a plastic 578 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,160 Speaker 1: surgeon and he was saying, yes, people come in wanting 579 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: to look like filters, and it's it's impossible because it's 580 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 1: the little as things, like they make your eyes a 581 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 1: little bit bigger, they make your whole jaw a little 582 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 1: bit smaller, Like there's things that we don't even really 583 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 1: attain in real life. Not to mention, I think it's 584 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 1: great that you brought up the point of view, like 585 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: started to kind of for lack of him, fall in 586 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,440 Speaker 1: love with the way that it looked because people think 587 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: it's so subtle. It's like, oh, it looks like even 588 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: better and I can't tell why, but those little things 589 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,000 Speaker 1: can then create that just morphia where then you look 590 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 1: in the mirror and you start just liking your own appearance. 591 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 1: Did you recently posted TikTok about one of the filters 592 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: that was like, really the light makeup. Yeah, there's a 593 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: filter called light makeup. And I was like, no, no, no, 594 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: this isn't light makeup. I was like, this is a 595 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 1: nose job, this is life of section, this is fake eyelashes, 596 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 1: this is all these things. And you were talking about 597 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: like this part of the face, it like it slims 598 00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 1: it to a point that's not really Like if you 599 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,800 Speaker 1: could never lose you could not lose one and a 600 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,160 Speaker 1: half two pounds off your neck possible? I mean I 601 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 1: think you could. You guys want to be honest, like 602 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 1: you could do anything. What people? Oh no, I think 603 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 1: she's saying without immissioning your meaning, like just naturally, like 604 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 1: you you're finding when you scol like even my bone 605 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,959 Speaker 1: structure is not going to get I mean I was 606 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 1: thinking about, like, you know, going to the gym or 607 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,800 Speaker 1: like changing your diet. But yeah, it's it's wild. I mean, 608 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 1: I'm wearing my numers. That says filters you can do that. 609 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:41,400 Speaker 1: I he responded, gave me a very lengthy like very well, 610 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 1: you know, research response on how to achieve that that phase. 611 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: But yeah, like filter that kind of scary to go 612 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: under the knife and get all those things done and 613 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: then maybe come out and not look the way you want. 614 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: I mean, well, also, even if you look the way 615 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 1: you want, are you still gonna love yourself? Like? Are 616 00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 1: you still going to look in the mirror and be 617 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 1: happy with yourself? Because I don't think that changing something 618 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 1: like changing all of your facial features is something that 619 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: is going to bring love to how you look physically. Okay, 620 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,240 Speaker 1: that is the such a great point because here's the thing, 621 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 1: And tell me if you guys feel this way. I 622 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 1: think as women, we have this unspoken goal to become 623 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: so pretty or like so beautiful that like we've quote 624 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: unquote made it or we've checked off the box of 625 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,640 Speaker 1: like being so so beautiful, like whether it was watching 626 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: in a choice your fashion show when we were younger, 627 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: or people's you know, Maxim's hottest woman of the year, 628 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 1: Like like if we could just look a certain way, 629 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 1: may be anointed as the hottest. But that doesn't exist 630 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 1: because there's there are those girls and people will sit 631 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 1: here and say, oh, no, Bella is prettier than Gig 632 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,479 Speaker 1: is prettier than Bella. Hayley Beaber doesn't do it for me. 633 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 1: Hayley Beaber is the end all be for me, Like 634 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,200 Speaker 1: no one's ever going to agree in way of a 635 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 1: wand that like your appearance is perfect. So to your point, 636 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: you're right, like there's there's still gonna be a guy 637 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,960 Speaker 1: or a girl that rejects you and doesn't want to 638 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: dat you when you get all the surgery done. Like, yeah, 639 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,560 Speaker 1: I was scrolling the other day and there was this 640 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 1: blonde girl who had perfect lips, a small nose, perfect skin, 641 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,479 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, this is one 642 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 1: of the prettiest girls I've ever seen. Literally the next 643 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: one was this natural girl with freckles and really curly 644 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 1: long hair, and I was like, that's the prettiest girl 645 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 1: I've ever seen. Like my opinion to completely opposite girls, 646 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: and I was like, I just I found myself being 647 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 1: like I can admire them without feeling like I need 648 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 1: to look like them, you know, Like I can just 649 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 1: be like, wow, that is a beautiful human, Like what 650 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 1: great features she has. If they're hers, I think at 651 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 1: the end of the day, like we're all like we're 652 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,680 Speaker 1: all gonna get ugly. You know, like it's just like 653 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't an ugly, but like we're all 654 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 1: gonna age like you age, and like, you know, I'm 655 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,080 Speaker 1: gonna look like Nana Pauline at some point and like 656 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 1: with like the blood like the answer, we're all gonna 657 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 1: be ugly. So just no, it's like I plan on 658 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,800 Speaker 1: being with my boyfriend when I look like you know, uh, 659 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 1: I don't know the late Betty White lover to death, 660 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:10,720 Speaker 1: but like do you know what I mean? So it's 661 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:14,720 Speaker 1: like to me, I'm more concerned about who I am, 662 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,720 Speaker 1: how I you know, live my life versus I mean obviously, 663 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: like I take care of myself and I like to 664 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,000 Speaker 1: you know, I put makeup on and I'm not saying 665 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 1: like I don't find it. You know, it's important to 666 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 1: have a nice appearance. But to me, it's not like 667 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,200 Speaker 1: the end all be all, you know. It's just like 668 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: it's funny you say that because my mom always said 669 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,200 Speaker 1: that about like choosing a life partner. She's like, everyone's 670 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,160 Speaker 1: gonna get old and uglies, so choose someone that likes 671 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 1: you and treats you. Right. Yeah, it's like character, character 672 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,600 Speaker 1: or chemistry, man, Like the chemistry and the looks they're 673 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 1: all going to fade. You gotta go with the character. Yeah, 674 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 1: it's really true. I wanted to talk about. Um. First 675 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: of all, your fiance, congratulations on getting married. Um, how 676 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: did y'all me? Like? What was the and and where 677 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,400 Speaker 1: are you someone who's always dated people? Are you someone 678 00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 1: who is single and then met him? Like? What's through 679 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:04,200 Speaker 1: your story? I have only had two very serious boyfriends, 680 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 1: Max being the second. So I had I had like 681 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 1: a you know, for whatever high school relationships are you know, 682 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:12,319 Speaker 1: I dated someone in high school, um, and we met 683 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,840 Speaker 1: in college. He played football at USC. I was on 684 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 1: b ball team. Very cute, very round home. Um. And 685 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 1: he actually says that we met the very first party 686 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:25,160 Speaker 1: I ever was at a USC. I have no memory, 687 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,120 Speaker 1: not because I was like drinking a ton, but I 688 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,920 Speaker 1: met a lot of guys that, you know, freshman on campus. 689 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,840 Speaker 1: We were making the rounds for the party, saying that 690 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,560 Speaker 1: everyone and then um, yeah, I just remember like friends 691 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,520 Speaker 1: zoning him hard. I was just like, no, this guy's 692 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,279 Speaker 1: way too nice, cute and sweet, like I need some 693 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 1: you know, only like you kind of want to fun boy. 694 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm in college, like kind of I want 695 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,759 Speaker 1: to be played. I don't know, it's weird. And then 696 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,760 Speaker 1: fortunately that a year later, when I was like through 697 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 1: all the heartbreak and the messy freshman year of college, 698 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:58,280 Speaker 1: Max was still single, he said he he quotes, He'll 699 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,600 Speaker 1: say I was battling and believing you'd give me a chance, 700 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: and then uh yeah, and then I like we went 701 00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 1: on one day and I just fell completely in love 702 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,880 Speaker 1: and was like, oh my god, I've been so stupid. 703 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,520 Speaker 1: That is really cute. It is really cute. I was 704 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 1: dying laughing watching the video of you explaining that's the 705 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,080 Speaker 1: way I loved you to him because now knowing that, 706 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 1: he was like the really sweet, nice guy and the 707 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,239 Speaker 1: whole song is literally about her, like not wanting to 708 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,839 Speaker 1: release I know, I kept saying. I was like, maybe 709 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,960 Speaker 1: this is kind of like you. You're sweet and sensible, 710 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 1: but I'm just screaming, and he was like, don't put 711 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,080 Speaker 1: me as this guy. He's like I bring more than 712 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,279 Speaker 1: that he does. Max is the best. He's like, he's 713 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 1: not vanilla at all. He's like Rambo Sparkles. He's the best. 714 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,560 Speaker 1: But you have to be you have to be open 715 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 1: for husband material. I told him, like your husband material, 716 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: I don't want a husband material week went on campus 717 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:51,000 Speaker 1: when I'm going to college, you know, I'm really good 718 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,720 Speaker 1: about I think you just especially I think with guys too, 719 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,279 Speaker 1: you can catch them when they're like ripe. Like you 720 00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,759 Speaker 1: know when you hear about a guy's with a girl 721 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,080 Speaker 1: for like six years, breaks up, doesn't want to marry her, 722 00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:03,920 Speaker 1: and then a year later he's marrying a girl he 723 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 1: met five months ago. Like you have to catch people 724 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: at a time in their life, like time and place 725 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,920 Speaker 1: I think matters. Yeah, for sure, Oh for sure, I do. 726 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,800 Speaker 1: Was that you I just listened to your podcast with Alias. 727 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,840 Speaker 1: Where was that you who said you don't think things 728 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:22,480 Speaker 1: are like but like happened for a reason. Can you 729 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 1: explain that? Yes? So, and that always is like hard 730 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,000 Speaker 1: for people to hear because I think it brings people 731 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 1: a lot of security and comfort to think like everything 732 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:33,680 Speaker 1: happens for a reason. I mean happens for a reason. 733 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,080 Speaker 1: If we really believed everything happens for a reason, that 734 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 1: would mean our entire course of life was like preplanned, 735 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,840 Speaker 1: whether it's by God, by someone who with the higher power. 736 00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:49,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I just don't believe everything has is already preset. 737 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,399 Speaker 1: I believe we get something out of everything in every 738 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 1: situation life. You're gonna get something, you're gonna learn, you're 739 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,120 Speaker 1: gonna grow, it's gonna move you, it's gonna help move 740 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,120 Speaker 1: the needle towards however you're going. But it's kind like 741 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:01,839 Speaker 1: the Steve Jobs quote. You know, you have to wait 742 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,840 Speaker 1: till all the dots are connected to then see like 743 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 1: the big picture. I don't believe all of our dots 744 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,799 Speaker 1: are connected and my next thoughts already figured out. You 745 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:13,719 Speaker 1: know however, like I'm kind of I'm kind of like 746 00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to say negative, but when I was 747 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,840 Speaker 1: depressed and I went through like all my ship, like 748 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,799 Speaker 1: we all have that phase in our life, it was 749 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 1: very cathartic for me to realize, like anything can happen, 750 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,960 Speaker 1: nothing matters, Like just live your life. That's helpful for me. 751 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: For other people like Ali on the podcast was like 752 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,880 Speaker 1: I disagree. You know, she likes to believe everything happens 753 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,080 Speaker 1: for a reason. There's a plan for me and there's 754 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,960 Speaker 1: a greater plan. Whatever helps you sleep at night is 755 00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,719 Speaker 1: the one that you should choose, you know, So do 756 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,839 Speaker 1: you believe that, Like we have decisions and those are 757 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,400 Speaker 1: like that's what guides are alife, like based on like 758 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,160 Speaker 1: obviously in every circumstance, like you could have said no 759 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,120 Speaker 1: to Max and ended up with someone else, and then 760 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 1: the course of your life would have looked different. Yeah, 761 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:59,359 Speaker 1: I mean I I definitely believe, and I just think 762 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: a realist think. I think I'm a realist. That's what 763 00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,080 Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, I think if I didn't, if Max 764 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,520 Speaker 1: went to a different school, which he which we always talk, 765 00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,440 Speaker 1: we always joke about, because he had a bunch of 766 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,480 Speaker 1: different offers, you could have played anywhere, and he always 767 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 1: says I would have found you, and I'm like you, 768 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,920 Speaker 1: but I think there's probably a handful of guys. If 769 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,959 Speaker 1: I was born in Europe, I would have met someone 770 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:20,920 Speaker 1: else who would have had a great life and that 771 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,399 Speaker 1: would have happened. Like I believe you could maybe find 772 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,840 Speaker 1: six seven partners in life. But I found Max, and 773 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to find the other. But I don't 774 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,840 Speaker 1: worry about that, you know. I think if you were 775 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,080 Speaker 1: born in Europe, you would, like Tanya is just like 776 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:36,080 Speaker 1: it's dying over here happens. But I think everything happens 777 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,719 Speaker 1: for a reason. Like I think God has like a 778 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,120 Speaker 1: plan and he knows exactly what he's doing. He's like 779 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,640 Speaker 1: ten steps ahead of me. So I'm just like, I'm 780 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,359 Speaker 1: going with your flow, even when it sends me down 781 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,440 Speaker 1: a weird path. Yeah, and I love that and I 782 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:53,160 Speaker 1: totally respect that. I it helps me the other way 783 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 1: is just what helps me get through. Ready. You know, 784 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:59,560 Speaker 1: I actually like because I think that being a realist 785 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,400 Speaker 1: sometimes times gets looped in with being negative. And I 786 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 1: don't think or cynical or whatever you wanna call it. 787 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,040 Speaker 1: I don't think that that's I don't think that that's 788 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,200 Speaker 1: right because I think I consider myself like, I'm very logical. 789 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:13,920 Speaker 1: I like to look at all the things, I like 790 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 1: to think about it, and I make my decision based 791 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:20,520 Speaker 1: off my logic, and so I don't necessarily think of 792 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,279 Speaker 1: that as a negative thing. I just think it's like 793 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,720 Speaker 1: that's how I see it. And then I love Tanya 794 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 1: because Tanya is a romanticizer and she dreams and it's 795 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,839 Speaker 1: like everything's falling into place, and I'm just like, yeah, 796 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,480 Speaker 1: but you know, I also discovered through therapy, um that 797 00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:39,720 Speaker 1: my expectations about love, um, you know, like the Prance 798 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,920 Speaker 1: Charming and the white Horse and the whole you know 799 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,440 Speaker 1: thing is unrealistic. So you know, I'm coming a little 800 00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,040 Speaker 1: bit down from that, but not much. Okay, wait then 801 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,279 Speaker 1: I have a question for you, Tania, because I think 802 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,919 Speaker 1: this is what I struggle with, is why do bad 803 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:56,279 Speaker 1: things happen to good people? That's where I'm like, what's 804 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 1: the plan? Well? There, I mean you have to get specific. 805 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,960 Speaker 1: I feel like bad the has happened to everybody, you 806 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,560 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like bad things are not um 807 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,120 Speaker 1: it would you say it wasn't someone's plan for them 808 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:13,480 Speaker 1: to like get cancer and pass away at right? I know, 809 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:17,960 Speaker 1: honestly I struggle a lot with like, uh, illnesses in 810 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,120 Speaker 1: that way because I'm just like I don't think anybody 811 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:23,040 Speaker 1: deserves any of that, any of that pain, any of 812 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,719 Speaker 1: that suffering. Um, but what it I don't know. You know, 813 00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:28,840 Speaker 1: It's like I would have to go kind of you know, 814 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:34,000 Speaker 1: really granular, granular on you know, a specific situation, but like, no, 815 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:37,040 Speaker 1: I don't think anybody deserves bad to happen to them. 816 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,160 Speaker 1: But it's like, you know, a friend of mine was 817 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,799 Speaker 1: just saying that she lost her baby. Um, she gave 818 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,120 Speaker 1: birth and the baby passed away like thirty days later, 819 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 1: and I was just like God, I couldn't like and 820 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,200 Speaker 1: she's great, well, like she just I just met her, 821 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:51,719 Speaker 1: so I don't you don't know about she was like 822 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: really nice woman, good head on our solders, so kind, 823 00:40:55,200 --> 00:41:00,600 Speaker 1: loving fun. I was like, that is so tragic, so tragic. 824 00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:04,239 Speaker 1: I don't like, I don't know what that what that 825 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,040 Speaker 1: purpose was in her life, you know what I mean? 826 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,319 Speaker 1: Like what sir, what does that serve her? But I 827 00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:12,719 Speaker 1: feel like she's going to be a crusader for you know, um, 828 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,879 Speaker 1: people who are suffering or have gone through similar things, 829 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,360 Speaker 1: you know. I mean, she's like she's a leader, So 830 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,480 Speaker 1: I think she's going to create some sort of positive 831 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,560 Speaker 1: kind of resource or something for people who suffer from that. 832 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,799 Speaker 1: So it's like that pain was brought into her life 833 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,359 Speaker 1: that she could help other people, or you know what 834 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,520 Speaker 1: I mean, Like I look at it from that perspective, 835 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,800 Speaker 1: because I get, I get I'm with you, like I 836 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,279 Speaker 1: don't understand why people die of cancer. And well, this 837 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:39,239 Speaker 1: actually reminds me of a cute and heartwarming little just 838 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,279 Speaker 1: like way to think about it that a friend told 839 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,040 Speaker 1: me recently, Because this is this is why I truggle 840 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,120 Speaker 1: with this is a question that kind of keeps me um. 841 00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,000 Speaker 1: And she was saying that she wants heard like you know, 842 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,880 Speaker 1: well what if up in heaven, like there's all the 843 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,480 Speaker 1: souls and like God said to all the souls, like, 844 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:56,360 Speaker 1: we're gonna need one soul who's gonna go down and 845 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,480 Speaker 1: only gets to be on earth for thirty days and 846 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,359 Speaker 1: then you have to come back. It's gonna be like 847 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,480 Speaker 1: what trickle effects into like this movement or this whatever is, 848 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,360 Speaker 1: so we need one soul of volunteer and it's like 849 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,560 Speaker 1: that souls like I'll do it so that like five 850 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,879 Speaker 1: thousand other babies can live their life and we can, 851 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,600 Speaker 1: like and I just thought that was a key way 852 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,720 Speaker 1: of thinking about things, like the soul of in heaven 853 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:19,000 Speaker 1: like for a higher reason, like chose to volunteer for 854 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,319 Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, right, this whatever helps you 855 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:24,640 Speaker 1: through through the situation. No, I agree completely, And I 856 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,439 Speaker 1: think that sometimes the answer is just like we don't know, 857 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,839 Speaker 1: you know, like sometimes the answer is as simple as 858 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,319 Speaker 1: like we can think. Like I think what we can 859 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,800 Speaker 1: all agree on in those situations is that it's tragic 860 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,520 Speaker 1: and devastating and sad and unfair and what is the 861 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,400 Speaker 1: purpose We don't know, but hopefully it's for something greater, 862 00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,160 Speaker 1: and hopefully something There is a trickle effect and it 863 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:48,560 Speaker 1: changes lives, you know. But um, I I think it 864 00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:52,440 Speaker 1: is like what I can I have peace because of 865 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,560 Speaker 1: my faith, but there's another part of my brain that 866 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,399 Speaker 1: I question the same thing, like why is there war? Wise? 867 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,720 Speaker 1: There violence? Wise there injustice? You know. It's like you 868 00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 1: you can question so many things. But at the end 869 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:07,080 Speaker 1: of the day, Well, that's why the word faith is 870 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:10,440 Speaker 1: like so important. It's like faith for faith for something 871 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,960 Speaker 1: something we can't know, right, It's that's what it is. 872 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,880 Speaker 1: And it is blind faith a lot of the times, 873 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:22,320 Speaker 1: and that's the thing that's hard. But um, I loved 874 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,480 Speaker 1: having you. I think we both loved having you on 875 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:28,960 Speaker 1: the podcast day. I love what you're doing talks. I 876 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:32,080 Speaker 1: love deep talk. I honestly am just like so amazed 877 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:36,160 Speaker 1: by what you're doing. And I hope to implement more 878 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:39,880 Speaker 1: of your message into what I'm doing and me too, 879 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,719 Speaker 1: Like if I knew how to make those videos that 880 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,640 Speaker 1: you do with the face tune, I would love to 881 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,280 Speaker 1: do those. I just can't, so I just repost yours. 882 00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,200 Speaker 1: Let's get together and do a face tune verse real, 883 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,839 Speaker 1: are you? Yeah? We should do different. I mean I 884 00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,160 Speaker 1: want to have you guys both on my podcast, but separately, 885 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:01,520 Speaker 1: all right, I'm happy to thank you so much for 886 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:04,560 Speaker 1: coming on and spending so much time with us, and 887 00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:08,080 Speaker 1: we love you, we are cheering you on, and yeah, fans, 888 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Thanks. I'm the biggest hit of 889 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,000 Speaker 1: you guys, so I'm just touched. So thanks for having 890 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:15,720 Speaker 1: me than you guys,