1 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 1: When I first joined the Legion of Christ, I felt special, 2 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:19,239 Speaker 1: not just special, chosen. Marcille Mosiel, the founder of the 3 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: Legion of Christ, this great deader who everyone in my 4 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: life respected and admired. He looked me in the eyes 5 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: and told me I had a calling, that God had 6 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:35,160 Speaker 1: given me unique gifts, that I was meant to serve 7 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: something greater. And I believed him with my whole heart. 8 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:47,599 Speaker 1: I believed him because when he said it, it sounded sacred, 9 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 1: like he was delivering a message from God himself. I 10 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: walked around thinking of all the people in the world 11 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: he picked me, that I was destined to do something meaningful, 12 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,759 Speaker 1: to help people, to make the world a better place. 13 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: But later I found out the truth. He had said 14 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 1: the same thing to dozands of girls, maybe hundreds. He 15 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 1: told all of us we were the one, that we 16 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: had the clearest call, and he had been saying it 17 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: for decades, long before I was even born. Because no, 18 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 1: I wasn't specially in that way. I was part of 19 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:44,400 Speaker 1: a script, a very old one, and my story he 20 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: had already played out many times before. 21 00:01:52,520 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 2: My name is I was consecrated for seventy years. My 22 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 2: life is a little extraordinary because I was a normal 23 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:11,799 Speaker 2: kid from zero to seventeen. Then I joined the Legendaries 24 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 2: of Christ from seventeen till thirty four. 25 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 1: Some years before I joined, Lurdesparosso had already been personally 26 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: chosen by Marcil to become a consagrata, a consecrated lady 27 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,520 Speaker 1: also known as missus and the Legion of Christ. 28 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 3: The equivalent of a nun. 29 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: He picked curls like lures, smart, confident, natural leaders. 30 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:41,919 Speaker 3: More than anything. 31 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: Young, young enough to impress, young enough to sway, young 32 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: enough to not realize that admiration could be a trap. 33 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 2: He invited us for a dinner, and he sat me 34 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 2: at his side, waking his eyes and laughing about anything 35 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:08,519 Speaker 2: I would say. And I can't tell you that after 36 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 2: that dinner, I was completely hooked. 37 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: Masielle was charming. It was always one of his gifts. 38 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,359 Speaker 1: It was what he used to get what he wanted, 39 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: and he always got what he wanted. 40 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 2: And then we met again in Mexico. He told me 41 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 2: that I could join Random Christie, even if I was 42 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: only sixteen. By then, I was speechless. 43 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: Just like Lordes, I was under a spell. Looking back now, 44 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: it feels so obvious. The red flags were everywhere. I 45 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: knew certain things were off plantently wrong, even but I 46 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: kept going, kept following the path laid out from me, 47 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: because that's what spell does. It blurs the edges of 48 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: what you know and what you let yourself see. My 49 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: name is Elena Sada, and this is my story. It's 50 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: the story of how I learned to hide, to cry, 51 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: to survive, and eventually how I got out. Through dozens 52 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 1: of interviews we've recorded over more than a year, I'll 53 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: tell you how my life was forever changed by a 54 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: man who kept so many secrets hidden in plain sight. 55 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:44,600 Speaker 1: This is secret Scandal, the many secrets of Marcille Marseille, 56 00:04:45,960 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: Episode two, the Spell. When I was inside the Legion 57 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 1: of Christ, I didn't always recognize the manipulation for what 58 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: it was. Coercion can be silent, even sneaky. Is not 59 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: always someone forcing your hand. It's the voice that makes 60 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: you believe that disobeying will cost you everything, not just 61 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: your own salvation, but the salvation of those around you. 62 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: The vowels I made when I began studying to become 63 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: a concertrata tied me to a purpose I couldn't question. 64 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,480 Speaker 1: Over time, I stopped wondering if something was wrong. I 65 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: started believing I had no choice, that obedience was love, 66 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: that silence was service. It's hard to see where duty 67 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: ends and harm begins when you're constantly told you're doing 68 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:03,919 Speaker 1: God's willy. Lord OF's story hit me so deeply because 69 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 1: it felt like hearing my own. 70 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 2: When I was sixteen, we made a very extraordinary trip 71 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 2: to Europe, my older brother, my two parents and me, 72 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 2: and first we met All the sixth in Rome. In 73 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 2: these little private audiences. 74 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: She met Pope Paul the sex, a leader of the 75 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:32,279 Speaker 1: Catholic Church years before jump All the Second, whom I 76 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:36,280 Speaker 1: would meet myself a few years later. We were around 77 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: the same age when we met the Pope. 78 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 2: And I was speechless. I couldn't tell anything to him. 79 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 2: I had prepared a speech in Mexico, we are working 80 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 2: with the legionaries to do blah blah blah, and I 81 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 2: was speechless. 82 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 3: After that. 83 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:57,720 Speaker 1: Lord has traveled to Spain, this time to meet Father Maselle. 84 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: We both met Maseille in Spain. 85 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 2: When I arrive, I was suspecting something even better than 86 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 2: meeting the Pope. For me, Father Monsieur was like a saint, 87 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 2: like God exists, because I saw him in Father, Monsieur 88 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 2: and Monsieur. 89 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 1: He knew exactly what to do with that kind of reverence. 90 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: He didn't just inspire the votion, he harvested it. He 91 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 1: saw something in lords, something he could use, and he 92 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: made her an offer that would felt impossible to refuse. 93 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: I want to consecrate you, he said, Tomorrow, Lordou's froze Tomorrow. 94 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: She tried to explain, try to reach back toward the 95 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: life she knew you. No, I like boys, I want 96 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: to get married, I want kids. I'm not even that spiritual. 97 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:06,559 Speaker 1: I don't like praying that much. But the words never 98 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 1: loved her mouth, only her face betrayed her unrest. Don't worry, 99 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: Mossiel said, his voice soft, steady, you have the clearest 100 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: call I've ever seen. 101 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 3: Tomorrow. 102 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: You can almost feel the heat of that moment, the rush, 103 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: the pressure, because Lula's wasn't standing there alone. She was 104 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: surrounded by faces that adorn Mossiel, by an atmosphere so 105 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: thick with reverence it was hard to breathe. And in 106 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: moments like that, everything familiar, your doubts, your instincts, your 107 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: own voice starts to fall away. 108 00:08:58,640 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 3: Right away. 109 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: Masille started convincing her to keep secrets. 110 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,959 Speaker 2: You cannot tell your parents because this is a very 111 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 2: very small little seed and we have to protect this 112 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 2: marvelous seed. So I'm positive you have the most clear call. 113 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 2: You have all the qualities you and enjoy the movement 114 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 2: so much or such a leader. 115 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: She hadn't even graduated high school, and Masielle told her, 116 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: don't tell your parents about this life changing decision. Ludus 117 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 1: was deeply close to her family, like I was. She 118 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: told them almost everything, but when the moment came, she 119 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: kept this decision mostly to herself. For a while, she 120 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:56,079 Speaker 1: said nothing, and then when she finally did spick up, 121 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: they didn't agree. They begged her to wait, but Lurda's 122 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,199 Speaker 1: wasn't changing her mind. 123 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 3: Her sister and her mother were crying. When she left. 124 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: She couldn't bring herself to say goodbye to her mom. 125 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 1: Her father drove her to the airport. The year was 126 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: nineteen seventy seven. The Legion of Christ had existed for 127 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:27,000 Speaker 1: three decades, and she was surrendering everything to it. She 128 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: thought she was stepping into a life of holiness, but 129 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: she was about to give it to something else entirely. 130 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:37,560 Speaker 3: More. 131 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 1: After the break, when Lurda's got to the Center of Formation, 132 00:10:55,760 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 1: where her training would happen. She pictured a cozy, spiritual retreat, 133 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 1: a house filled with joy, with women praying together, laughing 134 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: in the kitchen, singing hymns at night, a place where 135 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,959 Speaker 1: kindness with guide the rules. But when she stepped into 136 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: the center, what she found was silence, coldstone floors, narrow hallways. 137 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 1: No one smiled. When she arrived. She thought she'd be 138 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 1: talking about God. Instead, she was told when to speak, 139 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 1: when to sit, when to pray, and it began immediately. 140 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 2: Mainly we got up very very early. Four fifty was 141 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 2: in when you were working in the in the center 142 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: of formation was a different timetable. I think it was 143 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 2: five fifteen or six twenty, very early. Then you had 144 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 2: like fifteen minutes to shower, make your bed, and fifteen 145 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 2: minutes to prepare to be ready to go down, start prayers, 146 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 2: your morning prayers, half an hour of meditation. Then you 147 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 2: have another fifteen minutes of free time breakfast in the 148 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 2: center of formation. Then you have housework, like forty five 149 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 2: minutes of housework every day. 150 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: I remember those early days. Nine were exactly the same. 151 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: The rhythm of the daste was strict, unforgiving, We weren't 152 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 1: just waking up early. 153 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 3: We were being reshaped. 154 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:44,079 Speaker 1: Half an hour of silent prayer, Mass and silence, breakfast 155 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:48,319 Speaker 1: and silence, then straight to our desks. Chores were assigned, 156 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 1: sleep was scheduled. We were only allowed to speak to 157 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: each other during three short supervised windows each day, and 158 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: we could own we call home once a month. Everything 159 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: we did, cooking, scraping floors, tending the garden was in silence. 160 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 1: And for someone else they called it humility, but it 161 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:21,800 Speaker 1: felt a lot like disappearing. You stop being you. You 162 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 1: became what they needed. And we weren't just expected to obey, 163 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,719 Speaker 1: we were expected to feel guilty if we didn't enjoy it. 164 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:36,959 Speaker 1: And every night, without fail, we were told to examine 165 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:37,720 Speaker 1: our conscience. 166 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 3: What did you do wrong? Where did you fall short? 167 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 2: I had a lot of problems with examining my conscience 168 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 2: every day at midday and at night where I just 169 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 2: got up, make housework, go to study, and I was like, 170 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:04,079 Speaker 2: how could I offend God in this morning? What am 171 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 2: I going to examining about? I was studying, I was 172 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 2: the lesson. I was receiving classes. 173 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,199 Speaker 1: And when you're told to search for since that often 174 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: you start finding them even if they aren't there. 175 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 2: So I was like, I must be a so proud person, 176 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 2: so verbya that I cannot find my So I went 177 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 2: to confession really trouble by saying I didn't pay attention 178 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 2: in class, or I was late to basketball, or I 179 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,080 Speaker 2: got distracted in mass. 180 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 1: It sounds small, but the pressure wasn't. I remember my 181 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 1: time at the Center, lying in bed at night, overthinking 182 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: every move I made, going over the day again and again, 183 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 1: trying to find where I had failed. Maybe the worst 184 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 1: betrayal I ever committed in thought was how much I 185 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: missed being home. We couldn't call our families more than 186 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 1: once a month, and even then sometimes they would call 187 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: and the call was never passed on. We wrote letters, 188 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,040 Speaker 1: but they were read, edited, sometimes never said at all. 189 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,640 Speaker 1: Many times I cried every night, and so did many 190 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 1: of the others. We were just girls, but we weren't 191 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,920 Speaker 1: allowed to say we were suffering. We had promised to 192 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:49,720 Speaker 1: keep silent. The entire network of legionary priests made us 193 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: feel like we were broken and weak, when really we 194 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: were just human, and every day we were taught to 195 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 1: them more, to give more. We were overworked and underappreciated, 196 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 1: but that exhaustion. It wasn't accidental. It kept us too 197 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: tired to think, because when you're always busy, you don't 198 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 1: make plans, you don't imagine a future, you don't look 199 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 1: for a way out. 200 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 3: And little by. 201 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: Little they took away the tools that might help us live. 202 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 2: We could only work us. We didn't have a college, 203 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:37,280 Speaker 2: students or a career, and we couldn't work in anything 204 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:42,280 Speaker 2: except in the movement, like in the school of a 205 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 2: movement or ladies rydom Christie with kids, missionary work, nothing 206 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 2: else outside the legion or the movement. 207 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:58,479 Speaker 1: It wasn't just control over what we did. It extended 208 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: to how we looked, what we were, how we presented ourselves. 209 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:14,120 Speaker 2: No makeup, no jewels, no scars, no accessories, plain skirts, blouses, 210 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 2: no pants, tights, no high heeled shoes, so just cross 211 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 2: in the neck. 212 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 1: They said it was about modesty, about humility, but it 213 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 1: was really about control. 214 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 3: The clothes weren't just playing. 215 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 1: They were raising us, turning us into a single, silent mass. 216 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:43,160 Speaker 1: Slowly you stop seeing yourself in the mirror, and after 217 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:47,879 Speaker 1: a while you stop looking at all. So you start 218 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: to make up for the guilt, the doubt, the parts 219 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,520 Speaker 1: of you that don't quite disappear. 220 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,200 Speaker 3: You try harder, you push yourself more. 221 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 1: If you feel broken, it must be because you're not 222 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: doing enough. If it hurts, maybe it's supposed to. 223 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:13,880 Speaker 2: So my completely daily thinking was how to help, how 224 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 2: to do better, how to raise money, how to complete 225 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,480 Speaker 2: my manualees, how to be more efficient in my work. 226 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 2: So when I went to the exam, I was like, 227 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 2: how did I offend God? I mean, really, I can 228 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 2: tell you that was a very big problem, and I 229 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,360 Speaker 2: became a scrupulosa. 230 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 1: You lose grasp of what's right and what's wrong. Every 231 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 1: action feels suspect, every thought suspicious. Even when you've done 232 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 1: nothing wrong, you feel guilty. It follows you, It swells 233 00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 1: inside you until the only thing that feels hot is punishment. 234 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 2: But in my attitude of what else can I do 235 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 2: for these girls, I started using the penitensia corporal elsilicia. 236 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 1: And that's when the self inflicted penance begins, not because 237 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 1: someone forced you, but because you start to believe that 238 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 1: hurting yourself is the only way to be pure again. 239 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:37,440 Speaker 1: Penitensia corporal bodily penance a tradition as old as a 240 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 1: church itself. In practice, it means hurting yourself for God, 241 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 1: like fasting, wearing rough garments or the sillies. 242 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 2: And it was an instrument you put in your leg 243 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 2: and with the tights over, it was really hurtful. And 244 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:02,200 Speaker 2: then you bledally to and every time you walk it's 245 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 2: like a. 246 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 1: Painful The silliest spetchin weren't tied around the thigh. You 247 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: may remember it from the Da Vinci Code Silas the 248 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 1: monk bleeding for his sins. It looked extreme on the screen, 249 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,359 Speaker 1: but to some of the concertratas, it didn't feel extreme 250 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,920 Speaker 1: at all, because by this point pain didn't just feel normal. 251 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,640 Speaker 1: It felt necessary, like a confession your body could make 252 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 1: when your soul wasn't enough. And every market left felt 253 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: like proof proof you were trying prove you were good, 254 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 1: proof you still belong. 255 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 2: Even if my whole day was dedicated to do good 256 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 2: or to do something valuable for the movement or for 257 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 2: the church, I even were worrying this to do a 258 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:04,120 Speaker 2: little more. Imagine trying to find your sins the way 259 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 2: you offended God confessed every Saturday. Wow, it was really 260 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 2: a very stressful experience for me. 261 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 1: That was all during our process of becoming concerts and 262 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 1: it only got worse once we were falling in, Once 263 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 1: we became another cog in the machine. We had suffered, 264 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 1: and somehow we made ourselves suffered too. We enforced what 265 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: once heard us, repeated what once broke us, passed down 266 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: the same rituals of guilt, the same endless demands for sacrifice, 267 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: because that's what the system taught us. You're never enough. 268 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,960 Speaker 1: God is displeased with you. Even your thoughts betray you. 269 00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:00,760 Speaker 1: Doubting is the sin. Trusting your own conscience is prideful 270 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:12,719 Speaker 1: repent a tone in all the voice inside you. Still today, 271 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:17,119 Speaker 1: I asked myself, how did that happen? How did I 272 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 1: let it happen? And sometimes the scariest part is how 273 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: easy it was. But the story doesn't end there, because 274 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: once they broke us, they put us to work, to 275 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 1: really work. More on that. In a moment, we'll be 276 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: right back. The process of becoming a concidra that broke 277 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 1: us down turned us into obedient servants, and we were 278 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 1: very useful. One of our main objectives as Concertatas was 279 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:08,680 Speaker 1: to keep the system running. Yes, it meant waking up early, cleaning, cooking, 280 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,439 Speaker 1: hating yourself for not doing it well enough, but It 281 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: also meant traveling to schools in different countries, meeting with teachers, staff, students, 282 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: and it was in those conversations that's where the system 283 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 1: truly stayed alive. Imagine a big corporation. There's always someone 284 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 1: in charge of human resources, personnel, recruitment, the future of 285 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,720 Speaker 1: the business. 286 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 3: That was us. 287 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,040 Speaker 1: We were trained to spot the right kind of kids, 288 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,879 Speaker 1: the ones who might grow into priests or future concertatas, 289 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 1: the ones who seemed obedient, the ones who came from 290 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: the right families. We were the recruiters, the gatekeepers, the 291 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 1: soft sellers of a life that looked wholly from the outside. 292 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:04,240 Speaker 1: Our java simple, bring in new people and keep the 293 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:09,920 Speaker 1: donations flowing. And there was another reason they chose us 294 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: when we didn't like to say out loud, because they 295 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,439 Speaker 1: weren't just looking at us. They were looking at our families, 296 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: at the fortune behind our last names, at the doors 297 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 1: we could open and the checks our parents could write. 298 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:32,040 Speaker 1: They didn't just recruit us to serve, They recruited us 299 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,879 Speaker 1: to fund them. 300 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:38,119 Speaker 4: The ladies would fund raise for any cause your heart desires. 301 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,919 Speaker 4: A jim in school, a convention they were doing for 302 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,199 Speaker 4: the Holy Spirit, a party for the founder's birthday or 303 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 4: to get a new car for the founder, and they 304 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 4: would fund raise and they would send that to the 305 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,879 Speaker 4: centralized account in the Legion of Christ. And what happened 306 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 4: after that nobody knew. 307 00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:01,879 Speaker 1: That voice belongs to Robert Trza, journalist, clinical psychologist and 308 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:06,399 Speaker 1: one of the main researchers behind this podcast. She's also 309 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 1: my cousin, a lifelong friend. She has spent years digging 310 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,399 Speaker 1: into the region of Christ. What she found was a 311 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,720 Speaker 1: system full of shadows, where money came in through the 312 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 1: votion but disappeared through silence. 313 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 4: Even because ladies themselves if they asked for money for 314 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,399 Speaker 4: an I don't know, a plane ride, or they needed 315 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,200 Speaker 4: a coat, or they needed, you know, things as menial 316 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,679 Speaker 4: as that or as big as an operation or something 317 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 4: like that. The money would be then wired to the 318 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,600 Speaker 4: account of the house where their daughters were staying. But 319 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 4: that money would not be used for that. It would 320 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 4: be used for whatever the director of the house deemed necessary, 321 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,359 Speaker 4: and they did with it whatever they wanted. 322 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: We never asked where the money went. That wasn't our place. 323 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 1: Our job was just to get more and then more 324 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 1: and then more. And we weren't just raising money. We 325 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 1: were raising people, future priests, future consagratas future loyal donors. 326 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: We were trained to identify and pursue new recruits, and 327 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: as you know by now, there was a very specific 328 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,960 Speaker 1: profile we were taught to look for. 329 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 4: I think that was probably one of the most important 330 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 4: unofficial tasks for the missus, for the consecrated ladies that 331 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 4: everybody called the missus. So they recruited that particular physical 332 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 4: type that they had to look pretty and frail and 333 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,360 Speaker 4: young and whatever, but they also had to come from 334 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:36,480 Speaker 4: specific families. 335 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,240 Speaker 1: There was this time a young woman came to us. 336 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,959 Speaker 1: She wasn't being pushed by anyone. She genuinely felt a calling. 337 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: She wanted to serve God, to be part of the mission, 338 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: and I remember being really impressed by her conviction. But 339 00:26:58,400 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 1: she wasn't admitted. 340 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,359 Speaker 3: Because they said she was fat. 341 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 1: One of the priests just looked me, strained in the 342 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: eye and said, tell her to go home. 343 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,440 Speaker 3: She doesn't qualify. Have you looked at her? 344 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:17,359 Speaker 4: Monsiere was a known racist, so he liked their people 345 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 4: to be light skinned and light Eyedea. He was a blonde, 346 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,800 Speaker 4: green eyed guy, and he was very proud of that. 347 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,200 Speaker 3: I knew this was wrong. 348 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:31,920 Speaker 1: These blunt mechanisms of discrimination where everything I was raised 349 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:37,360 Speaker 1: to stand against, but I had taken a vow never questioned, 350 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:45,080 Speaker 1: never criticize, just obey. So I stay quiet. I gave in, 351 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: I moved forward. And the truth is I was good 352 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,199 Speaker 1: at it. I was really good at my job. And 353 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:58,280 Speaker 1: Father Masile knew it. He knew I could move easily 354 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,359 Speaker 1: in certain circles, that I spoke their language, that I 355 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 1: looked their apart. 356 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,640 Speaker 3: He knew that I could walk into. 357 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 1: A family's home, turn them away, speak their values back 358 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 1: to them, and walk out with a big fat check 359 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 1: to donate to support the mission to be good Christians. 360 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,600 Speaker 1: My mission was to recruit women for the legion, but 361 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:28,199 Speaker 1: the same technique were to recruit donors. And I wasn't alone. 362 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,879 Speaker 1: We were a legion of charming, well trained women, the 363 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,040 Speaker 1: friendliest faces of the movement. 364 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 4: They were assigned a particular lady or a particular priest 365 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 4: to sort of befriend the house, if you know what 366 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 4: I mean. So they would be always, you know, be around. 367 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 4: They would accept invitations to launch, and they would marry 368 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,720 Speaker 4: the daughters. They would christian the children, They would give 369 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 4: blessings to the new houses. Their mission was to gain 370 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,200 Speaker 4: the ear of the patriarch or mayetarch, so that they 371 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 4: could gain influence there. And they would say, oh, yes, 372 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 4: how are you. Oh we're very fine. We're saving little souls, 373 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 4: We're doing so much good work. We're recruiting so many people. 374 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 4: The schools are doing fine. But you know, we're in 375 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 4: such financial straits because we need this and that and that, 376 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,640 Speaker 4: and we don't know what to do about it. And 377 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 4: they will always be saying we're on the verge of bankruptcy. 378 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 3: That was the script. 379 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 1: You learned to repeat it without blinking, and soon it 380 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: wasn't just about terming parents or fundraising for buildings that 381 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: may or may not exist. It was about people, about vocations, 382 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: and just like Mazille did to me made me feel 383 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:44,280 Speaker 1: chosen and special, I started doing the same with young 384 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 1: men and women. Little by little, I was fully absorbed 385 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 1: into the recruitment machine. There were targets, quotas, expectations. If 386 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 1: you didn't bring new people, new fruits, as they call them, 387 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:04,760 Speaker 1: you were failing. I remember once Monciel using the word 388 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 1: parasite to describe myself, fitting off the system but giving 389 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 1: nothing back. That's what they made you feel like. The 390 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 1: faithful produced results, and if you didn't, maybe you weren't. 391 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:21,960 Speaker 3: As faithful as you thought. 392 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: Maybe God wasn't so pleased with you after all the 393 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,840 Speaker 1: times I failed. 394 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 3: I try to hide it, but it really hurt. 395 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: Because a punishment wasn't loud, it wasn't public, It was silent, untotal. 396 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: One day you're in surrounded by others in the movement, 397 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 1: trusted by your superiors, invited to dinners, the walks, the 398 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:56,120 Speaker 1: prayer circles, and the next you're not No explanations, just silence. 399 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 1: They'd stop looking at you the same way, stop calling 400 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 1: on you for responsibilities you loved. They reassigned you to quieter, 401 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: lonier roles, and because your entire world was them, losing 402 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 1: that circle felt like losing everything. You would start to wonder, 403 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:21,960 Speaker 1: what did I do wrong? Am I the problem on 404 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 1: my failing God? The silence, it wasn't just a consequence, 405 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 1: it was a message. 406 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 3: It worked. 407 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:36,280 Speaker 1: Still, I kept going. I had an obligation and trusted 408 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,400 Speaker 1: to me. I was becoming a key player in their 409 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 1: expansion and the pressure to the liver it never stopped. 410 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 1: You know that feeling when your job's on the line 411 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: and you're scrambling to meet a deadline and it. 412 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 3: Feels like if you mess up, the whole world will collapse. 413 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 1: It was like that, only worse because we weren't just 414 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 1: like down the bus. We were letting down God. By 415 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 1: the early nineteen nineties, the Legion of Christ had spread 416 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,200 Speaker 1: across much of the globe, and the United States had 417 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 1: become a top priority in its found raising empire. They 418 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 1: began opening schools in the US in the eighties. The 419 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,400 Speaker 1: first one was a Highlands School in Texas, founded in 420 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 1: nineteen eighty six. From there, the expansion was fast. But 421 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 1: those schools, they weren't only about education. They were another 422 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 1: way to get money, a polished front, a perfect recruiting ground. 423 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,360 Speaker 1: Robert Trraza actually saw it from the inside, just like me. 424 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,120 Speaker 1: We went to one of those schools, and you know 425 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 1: who else did. 426 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 4: The Chapel's children went to Legionary School. I mean, I 427 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 4: remember we had an Arco Cappos in the school and 428 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 4: they were welcome because you know, they of course they 429 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 4: had money to burn, so they so they sent the 430 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,840 Speaker 4: helicopters in with Santa Claus or whatever. They gave lavishly 431 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,280 Speaker 4: to the parties, and that was fine with them. You 432 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,960 Speaker 4: gave to the Legion. You were perfect, you were beautiful, 433 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 4: You're a Christian, You're a pillar of society. If you don't, 434 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 4: then you're not. Regardless of your behaviors, of your morals, 435 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 4: that didn't matter. 436 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,960 Speaker 1: It sounds surreal, but in the world of the Legion, 437 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 1: morality wasn't measured by kindness or honesty. It was measured 438 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 1: by generosity toward them. By this point, I was breaking. 439 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:42,640 Speaker 1: I couldn't do it anymore. I was exhausted physically, emotionally, spiritually. 440 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:48,000 Speaker 1: The pressure, the silence, the lies, it was all too much. 441 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: I didn't say it aloud, but I started thinking it. 442 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:56,280 Speaker 1: I need to leave. And then right when I thought 443 00:33:56,320 --> 00:34:00,920 Speaker 1: I might actually walk away, it letter arrived, a beautiful 444 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 1: letter written by him. Nasiele had another gift. He could 445 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 1: sense your weakness. He knew when you were in a 446 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 1: moment of doubt, and exactly wanted to reveal you back 447 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 1: in as if he could feel my hesitation from across 448 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:18,720 Speaker 1: the ocean. 449 00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:21,520 Speaker 3: The letter was a. 450 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,000 Speaker 1: Perfectly timed reminder of everything I was supposed to be, 451 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 1: of everything he had seen in me, the one he chose, 452 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: the one he trusted to grow his empire. He asked 453 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:38,640 Speaker 1: me to expand the Legions reach in America to go further, 454 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,480 Speaker 1: and just like that, the spell returned. 455 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:44,759 Speaker 3: I said yes. 456 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,839 Speaker 1: After my years in Rome and Madrid, I was moved 457 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:57,839 Speaker 1: to the United States. At first, it sounded temporary. I'd 458 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:02,440 Speaker 1: help reach out of FAMILIESUS cities where people had requested schools, 459 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 1: just do a little groundwork, and if I wanted to 460 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:10,040 Speaker 1: leave after that, they said I could leave. The plan 461 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:14,080 Speaker 1: was simple, go around the country, see which cities could 462 00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: support a new school, find young people who want to 463 00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 1: join the legion, find out where the legion could grow. 464 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:26,400 Speaker 1: And it did. Recruitment reached the new level. It wasn't 465 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 1: about visiting families anymore. It was about gathering thousands. As 466 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: I honed my skills, I started training others recruiters like me. 467 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,960 Speaker 1: What began in the US soon spread across continents, each 468 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:47,160 Speaker 1: new recruit feeding the machine, and every day I quieted 469 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:51,719 Speaker 1: the voice that whispered, this isn't right, and I kept 470 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:58,000 Speaker 1: casting the net over thousands of souls. Proving myself became 471 00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:02,400 Speaker 1: an obsession. I thought success would set me free, But 472 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:06,040 Speaker 1: the more I recruited, the more I was trapped by 473 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:12,920 Speaker 1: the cause, by myself. Then everything began to shift. It 474 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: was the mid nineteen nineties. Whispers were starting to spread, 475 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:24,200 Speaker 1: quiet persistent rumors about Masille, about young boys, about things 476 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:28,319 Speaker 1: no one dared say out loud. And just as I 477 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 1: began to let myself listen, just as the doubts I 478 00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:36,880 Speaker 1: had buried started to rise, Masielle sendsed my doubt and 479 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:41,960 Speaker 1: call for me. I remember the way he looked, tired, 480 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:48,120 Speaker 1: hallow eyed, his hands trembling slightly. He said he had 481 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,760 Speaker 1: a favor to ask, and then he looked me straight 482 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:56,680 Speaker 1: in the eyes and said, could you put together a 483 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,759 Speaker 1: large group of people for me so I can talk 484 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:04,160 Speaker 1: to them and they can meet me. I said yes, 485 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 1: and then he added, let's make a thousands You tell 486 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:14,600 Speaker 1: me the date I'll be there. I remember thinking, why, 487 00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 1: why does he need thousands of people? We were already 488 00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:24,799 Speaker 1: recruiting hundreds, raising millions. What else could he possibly want? 489 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,719 Speaker 1: For the first time, it didn't feel like it was 490 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:35,480 Speaker 1: about money. It felt like something else, something deeper, something 491 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:39,440 Speaker 1: he was trying to outrun. But what was he hiding? 492 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 1: I didn't know it then, but far from the polished 493 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:49,480 Speaker 1: halls of Myseils Empire, in a quiet corner of another country, 494 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:54,839 Speaker 1: a man was gathering proof, one testimony at a time, 495 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:59,480 Speaker 1: getting closer and closer to the truth. While I was 496 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 1: thirteen stages and summoning crowds, this man was digging at 497 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:10,759 Speaker 1: the foundations of the empire, and soon our worlds were 498 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 1: about to collide. That's next in Secret Scandal, The Many 499 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:29,040 Speaker 1: Secrets of Marcel Mosiel. Secret Scandal The Many Secrets of 500 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:33,120 Speaker 1: Marcelle Masel is a production of AHA Podcast in partnership 501 00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:38,640 Speaker 1: with Iheartmichaeldura podcast Network and is hosted by me Elena Sada, 502 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:43,319 Speaker 1: written by Manissa Hendrix and Alvaro sez Pedes, Produced by 503 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:47,520 Speaker 1: alvaoces Pedes and Robert Tagarza. Research and reporting by Robert 504 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,960 Speaker 1: ta Garza, edited by Jasmine Romeo with the help of 505 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:55,760 Speaker 1: Carmen Ratol. Fact checking by Annapala Tovar. The vocal coach 506 00:38:55,840 --> 00:39:00,320 Speaker 1: for me Elena Sada is Inatabia. Executive producers at a 507 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:04,160 Speaker 1: Her Podcast are Carmen Gradov, Isaac Lee, and j H. 508 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:04,520 Speaker 3: Kahr. 509 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:09,360 Speaker 1: Mixing and sound design by Patrick and Jones. Original music 510 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,600 Speaker 1: by Darko and I Am based on Patrick Hart's original composition. 511 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 1: Executive producers that I Heard are Leo Gomez and Arlene Santana. 512 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:24,640 Speaker 1: Alexis Cardosa also serves as producer. Sircars Scandal was created 513 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 1: by Melanie Bartley and Paula Varos