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Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two. It's your celebrity mentor Joan

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Speaker 1: Vassos and I am joined here today and excited to

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Speaker 1: welcome host of the podcast Comfort Food. We are here

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Speaker 1: with Kelly Rizzo.

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Speaker 2: Welcome John. Thank you for having me here so great.

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Speaker 1: Well, I am excited to be here for first of all,

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Speaker 1: to be talking to you, but also we are here

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Speaker 1: for the iHeart Musical Words in Los Angeles. I have

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Speaker 1: never been to this. I've watched it on TV. I'm

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Speaker 1: always amazed by how many stars you can fit in

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Speaker 1: one auditorium. Have you been here before?

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Speaker 2: I have not. This is my first time. I mean

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Speaker 2: I've seen the red carpet and stuff like that, so

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Speaker 2: I'm really excited. I know, I know we get to

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Speaker 2: be a part of it.

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Speaker 1: Picking up my outfit today was like a lot of pressure.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you felt the sub may but

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Speaker 1: I looked at the red carpet from years before and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, this is a lot of pressure.

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Speaker 2: But they're the nice thing about it is you can

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Speaker 2: kind of do what you want. You can kind of

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Speaker 2: get away with anything or like wild, casual, elegant, formal, very,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: So I think that made it harder. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was just like, you know what, I think, I'm

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Speaker 2: just going to be me and this is this feels

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Speaker 2: like me.

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Speaker 3: This feels good.

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Speaker 1: I know, I've seen kind of people walking around the hotel.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of people in this hotel that are

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Speaker 1: going to the awards. And I just saw I just

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Speaker 1: saw bts.

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Speaker 3: Oh did you really?

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Speaker 1: I just saw Heather de Breah walk by and she

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Speaker 1: had the most beautiful black suit on, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's so classy and elegant. See and now I feel

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Speaker 1: like I look that I should go put on something else.

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Speaker 1: You look stunning. That's the first thing I said when

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Speaker 1: I walked down. I was like, oh my gosh, you

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Speaker 1: look beautiful. Thank you for saying that. But now I

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Speaker 1: feel kind of frumpy because she looks so like silish

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Speaker 1: and then you let her hands on and now I

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Speaker 1: look frumpy and.

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Speaker 2: She looks frumpy.

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Speaker 1: I mean, come on, well, we're here to talk about

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Speaker 1: something not so you know, elegant and fun as the

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Speaker 1: iHeart Music Awards. We're here to talk about something that

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Speaker 1: we kind of have in common. We are both in

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Speaker 1: the club that really no one wants to be in.

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Speaker 1: We're black widows. And I want to talk to you

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Speaker 1: about about your relationships. So Kelly, tell us about our

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Speaker 1: listeners a little bit about your late husband, Bob Saggett.

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Speaker 1: Everybody knows who Bob sagg it was because as we

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Speaker 1: were growing up, we all watched him portray Danny Tanner

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Speaker 1: on Full House. I feel like he was part of

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Speaker 1: my household when I was growing up.

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Speaker 2: So the show never goes anywhere. It's amazing. How did

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Speaker 2: you guys meet and how long were you guys married?

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Speaker 2: He found me the old fashioned way on Instagram. He's

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Speaker 2: literally slid into my dms. The ten year anniversary of

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Speaker 2: that is coming up in like a week.

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Speaker 1: It's funny that you have that ten year anniversary like

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Speaker 1: that's like a special moment. It's not like a way.

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Speaker 2: I can go back and find the very first message

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Speaker 2: he sent me, and I was a little like, huh,

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Speaker 2: that's weird, that's he's not on my radar. It seemed

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Speaker 2: a little did.

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Speaker 1: You know who he was?

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Speaker 2: Of course? Okay, of course you're pretty.

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Speaker 1: You're younger than me, so he might not have been

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Speaker 1: in your household and you.

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Speaker 2: Were already six so when Full House came out, I

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Speaker 2: was like eight. Yeah, but or no, yeah, nineteen eighty seven.

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Speaker 2: I was eight, and but then, you know, I watched

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Speaker 2: America's Funniest Home Videos I at my Grandma's house on Sundays,

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Speaker 2: you know, when I was ten or twelve or whatever,

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Speaker 2: and so I knew who he was. But then there

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Speaker 2: was a big gap that he wasn't really on my radar.

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Speaker 2: And then you know, I knew he had some like

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Speaker 2: Edgier comedy, but then I just like, you'd give him

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Speaker 2: a chance? Yeah, but kind of his friends at first,

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Speaker 2: because he's still he was a lot older. He was

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Speaker 2: twenty three years older. He wasn't really my type typically,

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Speaker 2: but then he kind of charmed me and he was

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Speaker 2: just so wonderful. I'm like, how can I not give

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Speaker 2: this guy a chance? And he was very I would say,

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Speaker 2: like persuasive but not invasive, if that makes sense. Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he didn't come on too strong, but he was like,

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Speaker 2: I like, you, I would like for this to be

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Speaker 2: a thing, and if you don't, I understand, but if

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Speaker 2: you do, let me know. And then finally I was like,

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Speaker 2: all right, fine.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I can't fake and there you're going to be

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Speaker 1: that director I'm gonna have to answer exactly.

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Speaker 2: And so then ten months later I moved to LA

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Speaker 2: from Chicago.

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Speaker 1: And then you were living in the same county.

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Speaker 2: Now we were long distance for ten months, so.

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Speaker 1: I always wonder about that. So when I went on

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Speaker 1: the Golden Bacher and then all of a sudden, like

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Speaker 1: I had men sliding into my dms and they were

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Speaker 1: all for so like, so few of them lived in

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Speaker 1: a reasonable distance from where I lived. I live in Maryland,

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Speaker 1: right outside of DC, and so I kind of said

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Speaker 1: no to all of them. I'm like, I don't say

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Speaker 1: this working. It seems like it would be really hard

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Speaker 1: to like have a casual date if you have to

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Speaker 1: get on a plane to fly there. So I never

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Speaker 1: did anything, but you did. You were brave and you

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Speaker 1: did it. But you had a little background on him.

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Speaker 1: You knew he was.

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Speaker 2: How he was not, you know, some rando. I could

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Speaker 2: find out that he was not a serial killer. And

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Speaker 2: we you know, he travels a lot. I travel a lot.

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Speaker 2: So it worked out we saw each other maybe every

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Speaker 2: two to three weeks.

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Speaker 1: Okay pretty often, yeah, a lot.

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Speaker 2: And then I moved LA and then a year and

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Speaker 2: a half after that we got married. And then we

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Speaker 2: were married like three and a half years before he passed,

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Speaker 2: so together for six years, six years total.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, his passing was so sudden. My husband, his passing

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Speaker 1: was long. He had cancer and I had him with

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Speaker 1: me for two years after he was diagnosed. I have

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Speaker 1: a hard time figuring out how in the world you

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Speaker 1: process that. Can you tell me what your journey look like.

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Speaker 1: I know this is hard to talk about, but I

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Speaker 1: feel like whenever I talk about it, it helps other people.

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Speaker 1: So I think these conversations are important. Obviously, you have

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Speaker 1: a podcast that you do this all the time. So

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Speaker 1: here I am asking you. I'm sorry, No, we don't

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Speaker 1: go to the very well but to be this invasive,

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Speaker 1: but we're putting this bad club together, so you might

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Speaker 1: as well join again.

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Speaker 2: It feels like you have an instant connection with somebody

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Speaker 2: who's experienced the loss of a spouse. And I do say,

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Speaker 2: you know, whether there was you lost your spouse to

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Speaker 2: a long illness or suddenly. I don't want to say pros,

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Speaker 2: but there are like kind of pros and cons to both.

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Speaker 2: I feel the same way, you know, because you never

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Speaker 2: want to see somebody sick and suffer, but also you

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Speaker 2: have a chance to like get your affairs in order

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Speaker 2: you have a chance to say goodbye whatever that looks like,

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Speaker 2: at least have an opportunity to talk about what the

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Speaker 2: future will be like, you know. And Bob and I

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Speaker 2: didn't have a chance to do that.

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Speaker 3: No, you didn't.

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Speaker 2: You know, I have no idea like about dating again.

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Speaker 2: It's like, to me, Bob would have been like, how

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Speaker 2: dare you? Absolutely not, like never ever ever you were

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Speaker 2: going to live in an attic and be alone for

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Speaker 2: the rest of your life. And so part of me

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Speaker 2: is almost like happy we didn't have that conversation because like,

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Speaker 2: but of course everyone's like, no, you would want you

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Speaker 2: to be happy. But I actually just did a full

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Speaker 2: episode of my podcast on a minute by minute account

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Speaker 2: of what it was like that day that I found

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Speaker 2: out he passed. It was called the Day My Husband Died.

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Speaker 2: And because it really is an interesting thing to kind

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Speaker 2: of go through that dynamic of what that experience was

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Speaker 2: actually like and is. You know, it was gut wrenching

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Speaker 2: to go through it again and relive it. But at

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Speaker 2: the same time, and I don't know if you feel this,

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Speaker 2: but it's very cathartic for me to even feel sad,

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Speaker 2: because then if I feel sad, then I feel connected

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Speaker 2: to him, and I feel closer to him.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, listening to this conversation, what you're saying, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you are saying all the things that I felt.

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Speaker 1: And it's funny how we had very different experiences. My

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Speaker 1: husband was sick for a whole two years, but I

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Speaker 1: remember the day he passed away, every minute of it,

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Speaker 1: like it is. It is in my brain, in my mind.

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Speaker 1: I can't get rid of it. It is just I

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Speaker 1: remember them carrying him down the steps on the stretcher

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Speaker 1: with him covered up. I remember every single second of

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Speaker 1: that day, and it sounds like you could ReLit minute

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Speaker 1: by minute. And there's very few days in my life

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Speaker 1: that I can relive the minute by minute, but that

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Speaker 1: is one of them.

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Speaker 2: I just heard somebody and now for some reason, I

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Speaker 2: cannot remember who this was, But like two days ago,

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Speaker 2: I heard somebody talking about grief and they said that

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Speaker 2: the day they lost their person, like the whole day

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Speaker 2: is a complete blur, and they remember every single second.

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Speaker 1: Again, it's true, truth.

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Speaker 2: Something it feels like you remember every single second, but

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Speaker 2: it also feels like a dream, like I felt like.

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Speaker 1: I was floating above my body yes day. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: felt like I was there, but I just I could

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Speaker 1: hardly connect to anybody or anything really weird.

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Speaker 2: I remember everything, but then some things are kind of fuzzy,

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Speaker 2: Like I look back, I was like, who was the

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Speaker 2: first person to show up at my house? Was it

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Speaker 2: this person or this person? But for the most part,

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Speaker 2: I remember it well. And yeah, when you lose somebody suddenly,

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Speaker 2: it's very, very very traumatic in the sense that that

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Speaker 2: PTSD of that like loss in an instant, stays with

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Speaker 2: you and to this day, like I, you know my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend Breckon, If I can't get a hold of him

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Speaker 2: for five minutes, the worst thing happened, you know, it's

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Speaker 2: like I go, you do, I go full on right

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Speaker 2: back to that feeling, and it's I wish, I wish

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Speaker 2: I could like self soothe my way out of it,

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Speaker 2: but I haven't yet figured out how to totally get it.

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Speaker 1: There's days I think about John passing and it takes

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Speaker 1: my breath away, like I almost can't breathe, Like it

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Speaker 1: feels that intense still, and I think it's like a

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Speaker 1: little PTSD. I think we need to get hypnotized or something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it is.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that would be amazing.

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Speaker 1: I think we need to get do something because it's

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Speaker 1: so painful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's exhausting to like put yourself through this.

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Speaker 2: You know, some days I'm better, but some days it

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Speaker 2: just hits me, like it happened historday. Has it been

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Speaker 2: five years?

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Speaker 1: It was five years in January?

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Speaker 2: January?

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Speaker 1: What January eighteenth?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Okay, January ninth. Oh jeez, four years.

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Speaker 3: Four years.

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Speaker 1: So we're close to the journey. You're just a year

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Speaker 1: ahead of me, a little bit ahead of you. I'm

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Speaker 1: something really struck me that you said that. Bob would

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Speaker 1: have said, no, don't date You're You're like I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: your mind forever. Is kind of like the message I

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Speaker 1: heard and John the week before he passed away. I

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Speaker 1: remember it perfectly. He was laying down on the sofa

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Speaker 1: he could hardly sit up so weak he had pancrettic cancer.

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Speaker 1: And I was sitting kind of like in the crook,

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Speaker 1: like right here, and he took my hand and he said,

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Speaker 1: I want you to find somebody and get married again

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Speaker 1: and have a relationship. And I said, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: I said, I am not having this conversation with you.

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Speaker 1: I said, you are not going anywhere. I had in

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Speaker 1: my mind he was going to live. He weighed a

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Speaker 1: hundred and twenty pounds and have been dying for two years.

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Speaker 1: I still thought he was going to make it. I said,

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Speaker 1: I'm not having this conversation with you. I was like,

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Speaker 1: you're not going anywhere, You're not leaving me, We're not

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Speaker 1: doing this. And he passed away a week later. And

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Speaker 1: I thought back on that conversation about two years later

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Speaker 1: when I was thinking, is this what my life is

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Speaker 1: going to be? Am I going to be a widow

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Speaker 1: at fifty eight and never have anything more? And that

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Speaker 1: conversation was such a gift because I felt like it

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Speaker 1: gave me he was giving me permission to date again.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't have any guilt. Wow. Yeah, And you're like,

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Speaker 1: I was lucky.

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Speaker 2: Am I going to date?

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go Well, it was such a failure

253
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Speaker 1: dating normally, so big, Yeah, I'm gonna do it.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to go all out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

256
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Speaker 2: See, I don't Bob I knew would have been like,

257
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Speaker 2: absolutely not. It means you didn't love me. I'm jealous.

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Speaker 2: How could you?

259
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Speaker 3: You know?

260
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Speaker 2: But but that's the only Bob I knew. And so

261
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Speaker 2: I have to now separate and I always call it

262
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Speaker 2: like Earthly Bob from Heavenly Bob. You know, Earthly Bob

263
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Speaker 2: would have.

264
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Speaker 1: Been like absolutely no, no, no, Heavenly Bob.

265
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Speaker 2: Heavenly Bob would want me to be happy. But I

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Speaker 2: got that message from his daughters, from his best friends.

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Speaker 2: They gave me their blessing. They're like, he would want

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Speaker 2: you to be happy. And I was like, are you sure?

269
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Speaker 2: And I'm like yes, And I'm like all right. If

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Speaker 2: the closest people to him give me their blessing and

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Speaker 2: with it, then he'd be okay with it, meaning I'm

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Speaker 2: okay with it.

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Speaker 1: I got really good advice talking kind of to this

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Speaker 1: whole thing. You kind of got permission from these people.

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Speaker 1: I was on the Golden Bachelotte and I was really

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Speaker 1: struggling pretty far through my season. I was probably halfway

277
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Speaker 1: through my season and there's a psychiatrist or a therapist

278
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Speaker 1: on the show, and she came into my room, Doctor Adrian.

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Speaker 1: I will love her forever. I still speak to her,

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Speaker 1: and she said, I said, I'm really struggling with this.

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Speaker 1: I said, I don't think I can do this. I

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Speaker 1: think I still love John. She goes, I said, how

283
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Speaker 1: can I love somebody else? And still love John, and

284
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Speaker 1: she goes, of course you can. She said. Picture it

285
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Speaker 1: as two balloons. She said, John is in this hand,

286
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Speaker 1: and he's this balloon, and you could still love him,

287
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Speaker 1: and you can have another balloon in this hand, and

288
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Speaker 1: it's okay, there's room for you to have both of them.

289
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Speaker 1: I was like, I can still love him and still

290
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Speaker 1: get this one. And that just kind of gave me

291
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Speaker 1: this freedom. I was like, Okay, I need to tackle

292
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Speaker 1: this in a different way. And that's what I will

293
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Speaker 1: always love John. You will always love Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I've been saying, is that it's the

295
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:54,160
Speaker 2: loves are totally independent. Like sometimes I'll feel guilty because

296
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Speaker 2: I'm so happy now in my relationship and it's you know,

297
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Speaker 2: I'm like, I love you so much. But then I'm like,

298
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Speaker 2: doesn't that mean that I'm a bad wife to Bob?

299
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Speaker 3: You know?

300
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Speaker 2: But it's like, no, you can love one person with

301
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Speaker 2: all your heart and love another person with all your

302
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Speaker 2: heart and they're different, yep. And they can live side

303
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,720
Speaker 2: by side simultaneously and they don't cancel each other out.

304
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Speaker 1: You're more mature than I did, because I couldn't figure

305
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,800
Speaker 1: that out until somebody told me. You I think you're

306
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,200
Speaker 1: more emotionally connected to this than I ever was. But

307
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Speaker 1: I got good advice. I'm so happy to say, because

308
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Speaker 1: I also have a person now, so I'm so lucky.

309
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,240
Speaker 1: We're both are really, really lucky. But I know that

310
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Speaker 1: those you know, days and years right after Bob passed away,

311
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Speaker 1: you and I probably had the same experience. And for

312
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,960
Speaker 1: everyone listening, let's tell some of the worst things that

313
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,440
Speaker 1: people should avoid saying to someone when they are grieving

314
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Speaker 1: the loss of a loved one, because there's some bad

315
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,760
Speaker 1: ones out there. I don't know if you, I can

316
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,480
Speaker 1: tell you probably the worst ones that I remember hearing.

317
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Speaker 2: Yeah, i'd like to hear that, because I strangely didn't

318
00:13:55,720 --> 00:14:00,360
Speaker 2: get a lot of really bad comments, at least not

319
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,680
Speaker 2: from people. I know. There were some ways that people

320
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,760
Speaker 2: like weren't as helpful, but I didn't really have any

321
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,520
Speaker 2: bad like. I mean, what I've heard other people say

322
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Speaker 2: are things like, oh, he's in a better place now.

323
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Speaker 1: Yeah I had to.

324
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Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, but he's not here and I miss

325
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,679
Speaker 2: him here, so this was a great PA I be

326
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Speaker 2: somewhere better, yeah, but I feel like crap. But it

327
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:26,480
Speaker 2: doesn't make me feel better. He's something because I'm sad, yeah,

328
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,960
Speaker 2: or because I feel like crap now, or like you know, oh,

329
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Speaker 2: like I can't. People do say I'm Sure're like, oh,

330
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Speaker 2: you'll get over it, but it's like, yeah, no, you don't.

331
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Speaker 1: You'll feel better, it takes some time.

332
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Speaker 2: You're like, it's like, but and you will, but like

333
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,880
Speaker 2: people don't want to hear that. In the moment, I

334
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,880
Speaker 2: feel like I'm a trick.

335
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,320
Speaker 1: Felt better. I feel different, Like I still think it's

336
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,280
Speaker 1: really painful, but it doesn't. It's like that a stabbing pain.

337
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,560
Speaker 1: It's adult pain, like or you know, it's just like

338
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 1: each day is different. It's not as take your breath away.

339
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Speaker 1: I can't keep stay composed. I'm right, I'm living now

340
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,600
Speaker 1: as opposed to suffering through it. Yeah, yeah, it becomes different.

341
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,000
Speaker 1: I feel like the one thing that struck me a

342
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,040
Speaker 1: lot was that people kind of avoided me. And I

343
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,720
Speaker 1: remember people saying I just avoided you because I didn't

344
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,720
Speaker 1: know what to stay and yeah, I'm like, well that

345
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,320
Speaker 1: makes it worse.

346
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Speaker 2: Well, I probably. I'm sure there were people like once

347
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,760
Speaker 2: I finally went through loss, because I'd never really lost

348
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Speaker 2: anybody before except my grandparents.

349
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Speaker 1: Ye know, and you're so young that you've certainly, I mean,

350
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Speaker 1: I guess you probably thought Bob was going to pass

351
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 1: away before you did because you had a big age difference,

352
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,880
Speaker 1: but certainly not not ye old right. Yeah, So.

353
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Speaker 2: You know, I was just very, very very sad. But

354
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,920
Speaker 2: at the same time, I had so much gratitude, like

355
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 2: right after he passed, because you know, he wasn't twenty,

356
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:59,640
Speaker 2: like he lived this full, beautiful, amazing life and truly

357
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,760
Speaker 2: made the world a better place, and he had these

358
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,520
Speaker 2: incredible kids that he saw grow up, and you know,

359
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 2: so it was like, well done, sir, Like good job,

360
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,680
Speaker 2: you did a great job. You lived while he lived

361
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,560
Speaker 2: this beautiful life, and so I was so grateful that

362
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,840
Speaker 2: I got to be a part of it. And I

363
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,800
Speaker 2: the one thing that people that I remember. And I

364
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,440
Speaker 2: don't fault him for this because I love him so

365
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,880
Speaker 2: much and he's the best, best, best friend. But Jeff

366
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,960
Speaker 2: Ross said to me at Bob's funeral, he goes, kell,

367
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,760
Speaker 2: you got robbed. You got robbed. And I remember at

368
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:34,320
Speaker 2: his funeral, yeah, five days after he died. I was like, no,

369
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,720
Speaker 2: I didn't, No, I didn't. Yeah, It's like I did

370
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,840
Speaker 2: not get robbed. Like what a blessing that it got

371
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,640
Speaker 2: to be in his life for six years instead of Oh,

372
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,480
Speaker 2: it's not fair, woe is me? Life sucks. It's not

373
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,200
Speaker 2: fair that I didn't have him longer.

374
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Speaker 1: You have a great attitude.

375
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I don't like, I don't really know where

376
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,560
Speaker 2: it came from, because I didn't necessarily think that I

377
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 2: would have been so positive about it, but it just

378
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,680
Speaker 2: kind of happened. I'm like, I'm not going to let

379
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:04,480
Speaker 2: this turned me into like a bitter, miserable person. Yep,

380
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,359
Speaker 2: you know, it was good. I think it's like kind

381
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,359
Speaker 2: of maybe who you were before is also who you

382
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:10,440
Speaker 2: are after grief.

383
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:10,399
Speaker 1: You know.

384
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,440
Speaker 2: But that was one of the things that somebody said

385
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,880
Speaker 2: to me that I was like, no.

386
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 1: No, no, I'm not I'm not gonna accept. But he

387
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 1: meant well by it. He meant like, you should, you

388
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 1: should had more. This was just the beginning of your journey. Yeah,

389
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 1: it was too quick. Do you ever get any messages

390
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,119
Speaker 1: from Bob since he's passed. Did you ever have a

391
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,040
Speaker 1: feeling he's there or he's sending you something?

392
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:38,119
Speaker 2: I had like one or two one I've talked about before.

393
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,679
Speaker 2: It's a little hard to explain, but there was this

394
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:44,320
Speaker 2: little wooden figuring that he had on his nightstand for years,

395
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 2: like right by our bed, that his daughter had given him.

396
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:47,919
Speaker 2: It was really special to him. It was this like

397
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 2: very unique, special little wooden figuring. And when after Bob

398
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 2: passed and I had to look for a new home,

399
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,800
Speaker 2: I felt really bad about it because I was like,

400
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 2: I felt like I was abandoning him. I move and

401
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 2: I was leaving him.

402
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,840
Speaker 1: And so the house that you lived in together had

403
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 1: meaning and you didn't want to leave it.

404
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 2: We had to, we had to sell it. So when

405
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,359
Speaker 2: I found a new house, it was really conflicted about it,

406
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:12,760
Speaker 2: but I knew I had to, but still I was

407
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,640
Speaker 2: very conflicted. And this one house that I looked at

408
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,359
Speaker 2: that I I was like, I think I'm really going

409
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 2: to like this house. I walked in and the first

410
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 2: thing I saw was the same exact little wooden figurine

411
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 2: on the mantle, and it's like, not, it's not like

412
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 2: a g I Joe, like, this is a very unique,

413
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 2: like artisan craft thing. And I was like, that's weird,

414
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:35,640
Speaker 2: my gosh, and I just started crying.

415
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,359
Speaker 1: I was like, this is the house, this is you

416
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 1: were done?

417
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I felt like okay. He was like he said, okay,

418
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,399
Speaker 2: he sent you this, Yeah, yeah, this house has a

419
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,679
Speaker 2: nice little blessing over it, and yeah, so so you have.

420
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,440
Speaker 1: I do have him every once in a while too.

421
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 1: It feels comforting. I remember that for the first year,

422
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 1: I really had no signs from God, and I was

423
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,320
Speaker 1: mad at him. I was like, you like left me

424
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,240
Speaker 1: here alone, like send me a sign, like so I

425
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,200
Speaker 1: know you're okay. And I just didn't get one for

426
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 1: a really long time. On the other hand, my daughter

427
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 1: did and she would tell me. She's like, yeah, I

428
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,639
Speaker 1: saw Dad this morning. I'm where She's like, She's like,

429
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,679
Speaker 1: this hawk it comes to our house, like I had

430
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 1: the like right outside of big city, right outside Washington,

431
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 1: dw see, Like we don't have hawks like flying around

432
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 1: our neighborhood. She's like, hey, it comes every morning and

433
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 1: sees us. Because I stand out in the deck and

434
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,240
Speaker 1: I see him comes around every morning. I'm like, he

435
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 1: probably has a nest there or someplace. But okay, and

436
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,199
Speaker 1: then I got that. I remember we were on so

437
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 1: my husband was very bald and from chemo was part

438
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 1: of it, but he's also like he was balding even

439
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:36,440
Speaker 1: before that. So we were on the way to the cemetery.

440
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 1: It was the one year anniversary of his of his passing.

441
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 1: All my kids, I have four kids and they're all grown,

442
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 1: and we were on our way to the cemetery to

443
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:48,200
Speaker 1: visit him that day, bring flowers, and up above was

444
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,480
Speaker 1: a bald eagle like lying like flying above us on

445
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 1: like a highway. Like we were going like seventy miles

446
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,960
Speaker 1: an hour down this highway and the bald eagle was

447
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:56,960
Speaker 1: just kind of leading us there.

448
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 2: Oh and my you.

449
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 1: Really, like, I don't think I'd ever seen a bald eagle,

450
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 1: to be honest before. And my oldest son was in front,

451
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 1: he was in his car and he's like, Mom, do

452
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 1: you see that. I'm like, see what he's like, the

453
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 1: bald eagle. And I'm I'm like looking up and I'm like,

454
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 1: oh my god, that is the bald eagle. He's following

455
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,360
Speaker 1: us there. And then I was filming before I got

456
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,359
Speaker 1: chosen to be the Golden Bacherette. We were filming me

457
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 1: at the cemetery. So they do like a package that

458
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,439
Speaker 1: then they present to Disney and to Warner Brothers. Bacher

459
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 1: does and they were doing that package and they were like,

460
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 1: we want to go to the cemetery. I'm like, I

461
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 1: really don't want to go to the cemetery. It was

462
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 1: actually the day after the anniversary of his death, and

463
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,639
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go

464
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 1: with cameras. I thought it was invasive. I felt lousy

465
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 1: about it. They're like, please, well, we will do it

466
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 1: in a really nice way. And it had just snowed

467
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 1: the whole day before. So we go. I'm really not

468
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 1: wanting to do this with them. I felt like, this

469
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 1: is a really personal thing, and it's been two years.

470
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,360
Speaker 1: It was a two year anniversary of his passing. And

471
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: I go there and I told the producer, the executive producer,

472
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 1: a guy named Jason, on the way we were in

473
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 1: the car and the way I told him the story

474
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,679
Speaker 1: about that John comes and visits us as like an

475
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,879
Speaker 1: eagle or hawk and stuff, and I told him that's

476
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 1: and I just kind of been passing. And so we

477
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 1: go to the cemetery and we walk over to his

478
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 1: headstone and I'm brushing off all the snow off of it,

479
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,879
Speaker 1: and I'm kind of looking around. I'm feeling very uncomfortable

480
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 1: because I feel very odd being there with cameras, and

481
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,919
Speaker 1: I hear Jason's like, look up and he's standing with

482
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 1: behind the cameras and I'm all the way over here

483
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 1: and he's like look up and I'm like what what

484
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 1: And he's like, look up and there's three hawks are

485
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 1: clean the cemetery. Really weird, so so weird.

486
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:27,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I sound like a freak.

487
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the camera going, I'm not a freak?

488
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 1: Is it does sound really weird? But I just felt

489
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,639
Speaker 1: like that was like a sign from him, because I

490
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 1: felt really uneasy about going on. You know, one thing,

491
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 1: going on the Golden Boutchery, you can kind of like,

492
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: you know, stay in the background, not really be a

493
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 1: main part of it. But when you're the leader or

494
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 1: the lead, and like you were going to be kissing

495
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: another guys, you're going to be doing you know, you're

496
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 1: going to be going there looking for really a husband

497
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,360
Speaker 1: or you know, a mate at least or a boyfriend

498
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 1: or something. You plan to come off like matched up.

499
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,639
Speaker 1: You're hoping for that, so you can't hide anymore. And

500
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 1: so I felt kind of guilty going on that, and

501
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 1: I felt like I got it was kind of my sign,

502
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: a little bit, my sign. Yeah, So I was so

503
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: appreciative when wonderful they send a sign a little bit.

504
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't. I don't get I don't get a lot.

505
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 2: I just started having I didn't have any dreams about

506
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 2: him for maybe like two to three years, and now

507
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: I've had like a couple, but nothing like too profound.

508
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 1: How does it feel when you wake up, You're like,

509
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 1: huh yeah.

510
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 2: Just a little like whoa, that was weird, but not,

511
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 2: you know, they haven't been anything too crazy yet. So

512
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 2: nothing where it's like a nightmare or something where it's like.

513
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 1: Oh, he's with you, he gave me a message and yeah.

514
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,959
Speaker 2: It's was just like we're at dinner and he's kind

515
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,199
Speaker 2: of just like sitting there next to me.

516
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: That's so funny, Okay. And I and my mom has

517
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: a dream about my dad almost every night. My dad

518
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: passed away three months after John passed away. Wow, yeah,

519
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: great year. And she has dreams about him all the time.

520
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm envious of her because I would love

521
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: to see John. And one of my biggest fears is

522
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 1: that the memories of him are fading a little bit.

523
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: And I feel like, and this is the first time

524
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 1: I remember going to the cemetery this year and like

525
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: kind of talking to him, and it was the first

526
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: time that I felt like life is moving on without him. Yeah,

527
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: like my kids are getting married, we're having more grandkids,

528
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 1: things that he isn't part of it anymore. Like he's

529
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 1: not part of these new families that are starting, even

530
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 1: though they're his kids. He's not part of this new

531
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: like new generation. And it feels really lousy to me.

532
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like we just had I just had a step granddaughter.

533
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,920
Speaker 2: Bob's granddaughter was just born just a few months ago,

534
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 2: and it's you know, you get so it's very bittersweet.

535
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm so happy he didn't get to be

536
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: part of.

537
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 2: It, right, I'm so happy to have her, but it's

538
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 2: so sad that he didn't. He didn't get carry I know.

539
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure you know, he's here in some way,

540
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 2: of course, and he gets to, you know, watch over

541
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,919
Speaker 2: her in his own way, but it's still very bittersweet,

542
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 2: you know.

543
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of feel like they have a little

544
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,120
Speaker 1: angel up there watching out for him. So it's maybe

545
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,200
Speaker 1: a little comforting. You know, it's sad that there I

546
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 1: here and that they missed these big life events. And

547
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: I always felt like, you know, my husband had worked

548
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: so hard to create a really great life for us,

549
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: and then right when we were kind of at the

550
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: age where our kids were all graduating from college. We're

551
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: at the place where we could really start enjoying this life.

552
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: You know, we could go and travel and we'd have

553
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:15,880
Speaker 1: our kids kind of taken care of, and we get

554
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,439
Speaker 1: to start doing like taking your grandchildren to Disney World

555
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 1: and all of those things that I planned to do

556
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 1: as a couple. He died right before we got to

557
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 1: do all of those things, like that whole other half

558
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 1: of our life that we were planning on doing it

559
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: and kind of just got like disappeared to his poof

560
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: I know, isn't.

561
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 2: That crazy, Like you can't plan life, you know, no

562
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 2: plan Yeah.

563
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

564
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: They used to say like if when God sees you

565
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: planning life, he's laughing, he starts to laugh or something

566
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 1: like that.

567
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

568
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

569
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: Do you do anything today to kind of honor Bob's memory?

570
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: I mean, his memory is in you know, is so

571
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 1: many people knew him. He was such a star and

572
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,959
Speaker 1: always doing to be such a kind person. Yeah, but

573
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 1: do you do anything personally like they try to keep

574
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 1: his memory on life for you?

575
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I'm constantly talking about him, like privately

576
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 2: and publicly all the time. I'm always sharing about Bob.

577
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 2: He telling stories, talking about him, you know, on my

578
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 2: podcast all the time, and you know, with his friends

579
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 2: and his kids. And a big thing that maybe is

580
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 2: the most important and I know would be so important

581
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: to him, is that I kind of took over one

582
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 2: of his roles for the Square Derma Research Foundation, which

583
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 2: was his biggest charity that he was like the guy

584
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 2: of the SRF for thirty plus years because his sister

585
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 2: died of.

586
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, do you have a personal connection.

587
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, So.

588
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 2: One of his jobs, I mean, he hosted the event,

589
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 2: so I obviously don't do that, but he his job

590
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,439
Speaker 2: was to book the comedians. And so now that's what

591
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 2: I've been doing for the last four years is I've

592
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 2: been booking all the comedians and booking the talent for

593
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:01,239
Speaker 2: the event. The big huge benefit that they have every

594
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 2: year called Cool Comedy, HOWK Cuisine and so that well.

595
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: That's a great name right there.

596
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And so it's always like the world's best comedians,

597
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 2: great music, amazing food by a celebrity chef, Susan Fenneger. Okay,

598
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 2: And so that's one thing that I've done to kind

599
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 2: of keep honoring him and to keep his work that

600
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 2: he you know, his life's work, to kind of keep

601
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 2: it going.

602
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 1: I love that. And then they benefit from like it

603
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 1: helps you maybe you know, feel good about like doing

604
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 1: something to you know, carry on his legacy.

605
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:31,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the least I can do.

606
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, did you ever because that's we're gonna skip

607
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 1: on to now, like kind of where you are now

608
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 1: and moving on. We had this conversation already that moving

609
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 1: on is hard and you know, you feel guilty and

610
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 1: you're not sure if you should be doing it. Did

611
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 1: you ever really think that you were going to find

612
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: love again or did you think that like you had

613
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 1: the best it's hard to replace.

614
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,479
Speaker 2: I hoped. I was just very nervous. You know, you

615
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 2: hear such horror stories about dating and all this stuff. Yeah,

616
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 2: so you know, I was very hopeful that I would

617
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,199
Speaker 2: I just didn't know what it would look like. And

618
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 2: would I be able to find somebody who was strong

619
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 2: enough and confident enough to understand that like Bob wasn't

620
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 2: going anywhere and he was always going to be a

621
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,160
Speaker 2: part of my life.

622
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you have to find a pretty amazing Yeah, so,

623
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: you know.

624
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: And I kind of find that found that, right, off

625
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 2: the bat, like I didn't even I didn't date very

626
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 2: much at all.

627
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: Is that right? Okay?

628
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: So you I went on the two basic little like

629
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 2: coffee dates pretty much and that was it.

630
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: And and then and then you met Brecken. Yeah, can

631
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: you tell us a little bit about him. I know

632
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 1: who he is, but I'm not sure if everybody knows

633
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: who he is, they might, but tell us about Okay,

634
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: so tell us about who he is. Explain to the

635
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: audience who he is, and then tell us about how

636
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: you met. How do you meet?

637
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, we mel at our His best friend was

638
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 2: one of Bob's best friends, Seth Green, and he Seth

639
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 2: and his wife Claire, had an anniversary party, and Beckon

640
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 2: and Seth have been best friends since they were teenagers.

641
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 2: And so I I met him briefly before with Bob

642
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 2: because he Bob were friendly. They weren't best friends. They

643
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 2: weren't like very close. Okay, i'd be weird, but they

644
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: were that friendly. So we just reconnected, I guess at

645
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 2: Seth and Clair's party and just hit it off. And

646
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 2: then like a few weeks later, he asked me out

647
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 2: and we went on a date, and like that was it.

648
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 1: That was it. Was almost one day three year guys,

649
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: like you knew right away, he knew right away.

650
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean we knew at least that we wanted

651
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 2: to definitely continue whatever that was. And then like after

652
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 2: the first date, I just didn't have an interest, Like

653
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 2: we didn't say fro like on date one, like by

654
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 2: the way, let's never talk to anything else, right, But

655
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 2: we did both kind of internally just be like, oh,

656
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 2: I don't really feel the need to date other people. Yeah,

657
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 2: But then you know, a few months later we were like, Okay,

658
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 2: let's this is actually not date other people.

659
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 1: And do you guys live together? Like how you know

660
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: he lives.

661
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 2: Like four minutes away from me. He lives like a

662
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: mile away kind of good, right, It's we're in the

663
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 2: same neighborhood. We literally bump into each other like on

664
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 2: the street. It's really funny. But it's nice because we

665
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: you know, he has two kids, and you know, he

666
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 2: doesn't have them every day, but he has them a

667
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 2: few days a week, and so you know, he does

668
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 2: his thing, I do my thing, and then you know,

669
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 2: he'll come hang out at my house or I'll be like,

670
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 2: all right, be over in five minutes, and yeah, then

671
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 2: I'll go to right, so it's easy. Yeah, it's really nice.

672
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, good. What are your thoughts on marriage

673
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: and do you want to get married again?

674
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 2: You know what. We've even talked about this, and I'm

675
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 2: I don't have to I'm open to it, but I don't.

676
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 2: I've been married twice. I was married once before Bob

677
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 2: and got divorced, okay, And so for me, I'm just

678
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: more about having the relationship and the connection and like

679
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 2: the commitment. But I don't need to legally get married.

680
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 2: But I'm I'm open to it, but I don't have

681
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 2: to have that, which is a great place because like

682
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 2: I don't want kids. I don't have kids, you know,

683
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 2: he doesn't want more kids, and so like that doesn't

684
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: have to be a factor in it, and it's like

685
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 2: we just get to enjoy each other and I something happens, happens.

686
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: I feel like we are really the same person because

687
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 1: I feel the same way people I got engaged you

688
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: know on the batchel thank you, But people ask you

689
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: basking is when we're getting married.

690
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 2: And I'm like, do we have to get married because.

691
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: We are liking what we're doing? And why your husband

692
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: you don't have to why do you need to change this?

693
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: And like, yeah, at our age, I mean much older

694
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: than you, but you know, as you're like, we're not

695
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: in your twenty and thirties, we're not trying to have kids,

696
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: we're not like establishing careers, like we're kind of like

697
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 1: past that part of life, Like is there a need

698
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 1: to get married? I don't wondering And I don't feel

699
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: like I need to personally thank you for saying it

700
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: so people.

701
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 2: I don't. Yeah, I don't feel like I have.

702
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 1: To, but it's so traditional, right, we don't have to

703
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 1: do it.

704
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 2: I'm I'm open either way.

705
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel the same way. This has been a

706
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 1: great conversation. I'm sorry Kathy was supposed to be with

707
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 1: us today but she got held up. She was a

708
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 1: great to have been talked. But we have to get

709
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: over to the award. Yes, we have things to do.

710
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: So are you listeners like us and trying to move

711
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: through your grief after loss? Need some help and advice?

712
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: Call us or email us. All the info is on

713
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: our show notes fow us on socials. Make sure to

714
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 1: rate review the podcast. I do Part two an iHeartRadio

715
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: podcasts where falling in love is the main objective,