1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody, Welcome to another episode of Amy and 2 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:10,479 Speaker 1: TJ Robes. We not too terribly long ago, we found 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: ourselves at a wedding, and the fact that we were 4 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,799 Speaker 1: at a wedding ended up making headlines because we were 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,479 Speaker 1: accused of some particular behavior at that wedding. Do you 6 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: remember what I'm talking about here? 7 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:24,119 Speaker 2: Oh? 8 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,439 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, my good friend JK. 9 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 2: Long. 10 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 3: Yes, her wedding, She. 11 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: Got married and we had it was a great wedding. 12 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: We had a really actually a really really good time 13 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 1: that night. But the following day we got messages from 14 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,479 Speaker 1: people and we got some alerts and people kind of 15 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,839 Speaker 1: making fun because of several headlines that were out there 16 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,839 Speaker 1: about our behavior. Now, when I say I behavior, we 17 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 1: need to be more specific. 18 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 3: Yes, it was we were accused of dancing a particular 19 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 3: way on the dance floor. And yes, the dance floor 20 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 3: was full and I was on it, but you were 21 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 3: more notably not on the dance floor. You were just 22 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 3: cheering me on, so to speak. 23 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: That's not what the article said. 24 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 3: That's not what the article said that we were dirty 25 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 3: dancing in front of a hundred people or so on 26 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 3: a dance floor, just showing a lot of PDA, and frankly, 27 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,480 Speaker 3: I guess the implication was that we were inappropriate. 28 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: Now, I don't mind the PDA. You and I are. 29 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: We hold hands a lot. I mean we just naturally 30 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: are that way. That's one thing. But that's not what 31 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: this was suggested. It was suggested that something untoward was 32 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 1: taking place and inappropriate on the dance floor in front 33 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: of all these folks. The funniest part of that is 34 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: that I have been going to weddings, of course, my 35 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 1: whole life. There's only been one wedding in life that 36 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 1: I did not dance. 37 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 3: At, and that was at Jk's wedding. 38 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: Didn't I get on the dance floor single time. And 39 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: there's a very good reason. 40 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,639 Speaker 3: For that, that's right, because this was actually a themed wedding, 41 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 3: and the theme of the wedding was yatrac And if 42 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 3: you've listened to the podcast, you know, oh that TJ 43 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 3: is not a fan of yacht rock, namely because I 44 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 3: think you have said this, I don't see how y'all 45 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:07,919 Speaker 3: dance to that. 46 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 1: Okay, and I think some would agree, But some of 47 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: the things, at least you hear me or you play 48 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,519 Speaker 1: for me, I don't. I don't like them. Is one thing, 49 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: but I find them difficult to dance to. And one 50 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,799 Speaker 1: of the most famous examples is your favorite maybe your 51 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: favorite song, if not in the top three, at least 52 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:28,760 Speaker 1: is sailing right, Yes, Christopher Cross, go ahead, give. 53 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 3: The people, takes me away to where I'm going. 54 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: I'm trying to snap and sway now and can't get it. 55 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: You can't dance to it, you just sway or you're 56 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 1: just supposed to listen, right, It's not supposed to dance. 57 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 3: Just let your body move to the rhythm. 58 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:47,800 Speaker 1: That's dancing. 59 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I find there to be a rhythm and swaying. 60 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 3: Swaying is moving, swang is dancing. The point being we 61 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 3: were not draating. We were doing the opposite. We weren't 62 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 3: even we actually weren't even on the dance dance floor. 63 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: When you hear dirty dancing, the first thing that comes 64 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: to anybody's mind. 65 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 3: Has to be that movie that man Patrick Swayze, Patrick Swayze, 66 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 3: Jennifer Gray. Nobody puts baby in a corner. I mean, 67 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 3: how many times do you hear that a week? I mean, 68 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 3: I think I said it. I think I said it 69 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 3: twice already. This week there was a knitsa where a 70 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 3: guy was in the corner. I'm like, nobody puts baby 71 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:25,919 Speaker 3: in a corner. 72 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: You said it, I did night guy was just trying 73 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: to hold the door open for us. He got tucked 74 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: in a little bit behind the door, and you said, 75 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: nobody puts baby in the corner. 76 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 3: I mean, it's such a great line delivered by Yes, 77 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 3: the one and only Patrick Swayze. And uh, I mean, 78 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 3: I don't think even if the right music came on, babe, 79 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 3: we could ever do it. Well, we just couldn't even 80 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 3: I don't. I can't even imagine us ever even attempting 81 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 3: dirty dancing. 82 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: Look, doing the Cupid shuffle with he was difficult enough, 83 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: SOPHI will leave it to thank you Sidney. She gets it. 84 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: But you think about Patrick Swayze, it certainly ghost might 85 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: be I don't know, dirty dancing a ghostes when the 86 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: first two will come to mind. But also Roadhouse I loved, 87 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: and then point break might be my favorite point. It 88 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: was a brilliant movie. 89 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 3: It was Oh my goodness, I think for me it's 90 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 3: ghost first and dirty Dancing second. 91 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, that makes sense, that makes sense. And 92 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 1: we ended up watching a little bit of Roadhouse. We 93 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 1: had it on because we were getting set to talk 94 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: to you. Look, he's been gone now fifteen they have 95 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: the years, right, fifteen years. And his wife Lisa, who 96 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: who's married to for thirty four years, thirty four years, right, 97 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: She has continued since his passing to carry on his 98 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: legacy by making sure she fights to get funding for 99 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: research pancreatic cancer, which he lost his life after twenty months, 100 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: twenty two. 101 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 3: Months, twenty two months. 102 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: I believe and deally with that. But she has carried on. 103 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: But she's carried on not just as a woman missing 104 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: her husband that we all know their love story, but 105 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: she has her own new love story now, which makes 106 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: which makes her I guess in a lot of ways. 107 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: For some people, they look and they want to only 108 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: think about her with Patrick Swayzey. But a lot of 109 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,599 Speaker 1: us can look at it and not think. Many people 110 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: do like another chance at love, another chance at life, 111 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: and just this woman who didn't have to give up 112 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:28,840 Speaker 1: anything in her relationship with Patrick Swayzey to continue the 113 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: life that she now leads, Lisa Niemi swayze But it 114 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: described the dance that you were just talking. 115 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I was googling Lisa and Patrick and 116 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:43,919 Speaker 3: I came upon this beautiful dance they did together. I 117 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 3: believe it was in the nineties, and the two of 118 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 3: you were on stage, and obviously you're both beautiful dancers, 119 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,359 Speaker 3: but to see two people who love each other so 120 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 3: beautifully dancing in that way on stage in front of everyone, 121 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 3: I was swept away. Looks like you're getting a little teary, 122 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 3: because I'm sure those are. That's a beautiful memory, I'm sure. 123 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 3: But can you take us back to that moment of 124 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 3: being on stage with Patrick And I mean the two 125 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 3: of you met dancing. 126 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 2: Well, yes we did. I my first dance teacher was 127 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 2: his mom, So that's how we met. And yeah, so 128 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 2: we'd be he was my first dance partner. And I 129 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,919 Speaker 2: tell you what, the first time we ever danced on 130 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 2: stage together, we did this Romonda padda and you know, 131 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 2: when something clicks, and it was very classical, and he 132 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,919 Speaker 2: presents his hand to me and the lights were on. 133 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 2: It was like a high school auditorium or something, and 134 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 2: he presents his hand. I put my hand in his, 135 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 2: and we looked in each other's eyes and was like, yes, 136 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,919 Speaker 2: this incredible magic happened at that moment. So we pretty 137 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,520 Speaker 2: much stayed dance partners for the next thirty four years. 138 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: You know how much we talked about the one we 139 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: just saw. We saw it on video, We saw you 140 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: all in the public eye. But all of us, all couples, 141 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: I mean, Robot and I, we do it. We dance 142 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: around the house sometimes. But you all as trained and 143 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: very good dancers. Did you all play around the house 144 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: and were you just dancing around in private a lot 145 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: as well? 146 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 2: Oh? You know, of course, you know there's some great 147 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 2: music going on and you kind of get in the 148 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 2: group and book it a little bit. But I tell 149 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 2: you what, it would never dance with me on in 150 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 2: public because everybody would be sitting around, going, what's he 151 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 2: going to do next? That's an underglass. So I just 152 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 2: usually out on the floor by myself or dancing with 153 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 2: the girls. So that's funny, that's funny. 154 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 3: I just love though, hearing about that moment you two 155 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,119 Speaker 3: first locked eyes and you said it was magic. People 156 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 3: talk about love at first sight, but that sounded like 157 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 3: what you were describing it was. 158 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 2: It was. It was really interesting because we were had 159 00:07:56,360 --> 00:08:00,040 Speaker 2: a little contential start because each of us he I 160 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: had kind of a reputation as Castanova, I had a 161 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 2: reputation as a bad girl, and we were supposed to 162 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 2: stay away from each other. But it's really funny with 163 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 2: some people know and I knew. I knew before we 164 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 2: were done that something was going to happen between us 165 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 2: that was significant, and I just I had every confidence 166 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 2: in every bone in my body that that was what 167 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 2: was going to happen. I didn't know and culminate in 168 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 2: a very long term marriage. But I was suddenly like 169 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 2: sixteen at that time, so I wasn't exactly marrying myself 170 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 2: off just yet. 171 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: Well I'm looking at you here now and hearing your voice, 172 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: and nothing about you necessarily would say bad girl to me. 173 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: I know that was a long time ago, but did 174 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,559 Speaker 1: you deserve that reputation at the time. 175 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 2: Absolutely not. Oh, okay, you know, I hung around with 176 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 2: the kind of bad cool people because I didn't really 177 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 2: fit in, you know how that is. So I hung 178 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 2: around with the people who didn't fit in either, And 179 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 2: but I was underneath it all as like I was. 180 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 2: I was pretty conservative and cautious. So but I was 181 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 2: so quiet that nobody ever knew what was going on 182 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 2: with me. And when somebody sat quiet and I didn't 183 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 2: know how to make small small talk. You could see 184 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 2: I got over that the the uh, you can kind 185 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 2: of read into that person whatever you want to because 186 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 2: they're not giving any giving you any signals. 187 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 1: Well, from what you know now of what you got 188 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: to know about him, did he deserve the reputation of 189 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 1: being a castanoakle Oh oh uh. 190 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 2: No, he he had. He had quite a significant amount 191 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 2: of girlfriends and uh. Of course he was very handsome 192 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,839 Speaker 2: and sought after, but he I think he was looking 193 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:52,440 Speaker 2: for something more than just fooling around. So uh. And 194 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,080 Speaker 2: it wasn't that he was such, It wasn't he wasn't 195 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 2: a womanizer. He was very gentleman. Link In fact, I 196 00:09:58,480 --> 00:09:59,959 Speaker 2: was like he'd opened the door for me, and I'm 197 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 2: kind of freak out about that. It's like I could 198 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 2: own on my own door. Awesome. He actually liked that 199 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 2: because he was going places and gonna be doing things, 200 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 2: and he wanted somebody to come along that could do 201 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 2: it with them. You know, I'm not just sitting and 202 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 2: keep file their nails. But he did have come up 203 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 2: with a come off with a bizarrely huge amount of confidence, 204 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 2: and he held himself really upright, and he was just 205 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 2: so all American, handsome, talenteded everything that It just kind 206 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 2: of made you sick. And a lot of people didn't 207 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 2: like them because of that. He was like too perfect. 208 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 2: He was so perfect, he didn't he didn't fit in either. 209 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 3: Wow. You know, it's amazing because you all got married. 210 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 3: I believe you were nineteen, he was twenty three, is 211 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 3: that correct? 212 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, eighteen twenty three, eighteen twenty three. 213 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 3: Wow, So not only did you get married young, but 214 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 3: now you're in the spotlight. And Patrick Sweezey was, as 215 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 3: you mentioned, America's all American, you know, just the guy 216 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 3: every girl wanted to be with. Everyone remembers Dirty Dancing. 217 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 3: My daughters love that movie. They love Patrick Swayzey. We 218 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 3: were just watching rewatching Roadhouse this morning, just reminiscing. You know, 219 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 3: it's such a part of coming up and Patrick was 220 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,320 Speaker 3: such a big part of that. How I mean, you 221 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 3: can love someone, you can have love at first sight, 222 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 3: but so many marriages feel that aren't in the spotlight. 223 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,960 Speaker 3: And to have the love story you had, was there 224 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 3: ever a moment where it got tough or you worried 225 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 3: about it? Sounds like you all were rock solid from 226 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 3: start to finish, and that's just a remarkable thing, and 227 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 3: I'm curious, how did that happen? 228 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 2: Well, you know it's I love that term rock solid, 229 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 2: and I always felt that way, and you know, things 230 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 2: would get really tough, but we we fight it out. 231 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 2: We had great, great fights, but we always hung in there, 232 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 2: and our fights were about hanging in there. And I 233 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 2: think for me when you brought brought up about the 234 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 2: fame and how difficult that could be, and he's we're 235 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 2: both being pulled in so many different places. He always 236 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 2: made me feel like I was the most important person 237 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 2: in the world. And he would never let like we'd 238 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 2: be going in someplace and we'd have bodyguards and occasionally 239 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 2: the bodyguard would like cut me out. It's like and 240 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 2: he's first all, He's just like, you don't do that 241 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:40,199 Speaker 2: to my wife, you know, Lisa come here, and or 242 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,840 Speaker 2: somebody leaning over and actually had a coat put on 243 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,959 Speaker 2: my head once because they wanted to talk to him, 244 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 2: and he just wasn't going to have that behavior. He 245 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 2: insisted that everyone paid me the same respect that was 246 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 2: given him and always made me feel important. 247 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: And loved what was his relationship with. Some people are 248 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: run into they love it, some people loathe it. Some 249 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,839 Speaker 1: people just tolerated. What what did he like or not 250 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 1: like about being as big of a star and the 251 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: fame and things that came with it. 252 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 2: Wow, I you know, that's kind of a that's it. 253 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 2: That's kind of an interesting question for Patrick because he 254 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 2: used to always say, I'm a contradiction and that's okay, 255 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 2: and because he had he had contradicting sides to that, 256 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 2: because he definitely embraced fame. He was just from the 257 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,439 Speaker 2: time I ever knew, from the time I knew him, 258 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 2: he was like, I am going to be successful and 259 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 2: you will notice me and you will pay attention, and 260 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 2: and then there's the other part of me. It's like 261 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,839 Speaker 2: of him, that's uh. You know, we had we stayed 262 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 2: on our little horse ranch and didn't go any place 263 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 2: because we didn't want to be bothered by anybody, and so, 264 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,200 Speaker 2: you know, we isolated a lot, but we had our 265 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 2: horses and our dogs and our cats and our friends, 266 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 2: and so we didn't suffer. 267 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,959 Speaker 1: Where if he had an option, where would he prefer 268 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,720 Speaker 1: to be on the ranch, you know, on the couch, 269 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 1: hanging out somewhere, or walking a red carpet and rubbing 270 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 1: elbows on our. 271 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 2: Ranch in New Mexico hunder percent. In fact, you know, 272 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 2: we were both pilots and we had our own plane, 273 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 2: so we fly back and forth, and sometimes it's like 274 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,800 Speaker 2: I could hardly get him to go back to La 275 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 2: He just didn't want to leave. Well, I said, at 276 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 2: one time, I said, hey, you know what, you don't 277 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 2: have to do this anymore. We can go on a 278 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 2: mountaintop do carpentry. And he said, you know, you don't 279 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 2: have to do this pressure and everything, because he was 280 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 2: at that time he was very frustrated with some of 281 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 2: his career choices and what he was and wasn't getting. 282 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 2: And when I told him that you don't have to 283 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 2: do this anymore, let's go do a carpentry on a mountaintop, 284 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 2: he looked at me with are you crazy? Where we 285 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 2: know where he stood on that one. 286 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 3: It sounds like both of you would have said, no 287 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 3: matter what, the thing you were most proud of was 288 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 3: your relationship and just your love story is one of 289 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 3: the biggest legacies he leaves behind. But was there something 290 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 3: he was most proud of professionally? And you mentioned his frustrations, 291 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,760 Speaker 3: but I'm curious what he was most proud of and 292 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 3: maybe what he was most frustrated by. 293 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:33,920 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, well, you know, especially when he got sick, 294 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 2: he really questioned his legacy and he was concerned about 295 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,920 Speaker 2: how he would be remembered. And I have to say 296 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 2: he needn't worry at all. You know, he's still very 297 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 2: much of people's minds. And for every movie that he did, 298 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 2: there's a different thing that he liked about it and 299 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 2: or didn't like it. Well, actually he didn't. I don't 300 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 2: think he ever didn't like it one of his movies. 301 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 2: But it's just like City of Joy was very fulfilling 302 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 2: for him. He was working with a great director and 303 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 2: he was doing great work. And of course, uh, dirty dancing. 304 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 2: He liked a pooh pooh dirty dancing. You know, it's like, yeah, 305 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 2: blew the lid off my life and blah blah blah. 306 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:25,080 Speaker 2: But you know, as the decades went on, and just 307 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 2: like you mentioned your daughters loving the movie, you know, 308 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 2: he was still alive when he was on his third 309 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 2: or fourth generation of fans. It's crazy, it's like super crazy. 310 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 2: You know, these women coming up to him, from women 311 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,040 Speaker 2: coming up that weren't even born when the movie came out, 312 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 2: So that's astonishing. And you know, he loved ghost point. 313 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 2: It was just like an amazing ride for him. And 314 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 2: I love it that he stands in the doorway of 315 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 2: that airplane he says, Ostillo, God, I can't believe I 316 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 2: don't remember bye bye or whatever. 317 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:08,639 Speaker 1: You mentioned. He had thoughts about his the legacy, what 318 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 1: did he was there more so a concern about if 319 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: he'd be remembered or how he'd be remembered. 320 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,639 Speaker 2: I think both. I think both in fact, and I 321 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 2: wish I could remember. But there's a line that Toman says, 322 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 2: and whatever Movi it was, I don't I'm terrible at 323 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:29,720 Speaker 2: names today. Were they going to get the kid out 324 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 2: of the war because the boys have died? 325 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 3: Ryan? 326 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 2: There we go, thank you. But he has a line 327 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 2: that basically says what makes a man? And and how 328 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 2: will he be remembered when all of a sudden died 329 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 2: And he, you know, he knew that he was had 330 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:57,239 Speaker 2: achieved great fame. He also knew that you know, at 331 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 2: times he could be difficult, but I you what, most 332 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 2: of the most of the people around him never saw 333 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:09,159 Speaker 2: that difficult side and absolutely adored him. And he was 334 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 2: very generous with this time and very sweet and caring. 335 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 2: So I don't think he needn't have worried. I guess no. 336 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 2: I mean, because whole life, you know, he was really 337 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 2: he was really made to do this job that he 338 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 2: ended up doing. From the time he was very young. 339 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 2: He was trained by his mom. He was in the theater, 340 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,359 Speaker 2: he was a dancer, and so this is his whole 341 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 2: life was geared towards this kind of career. And you 342 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,400 Speaker 2: have to take a step back and look back and go, 343 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 2: how did I do? 344 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 3: He was doing so much all the time, and fifty 345 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 3: seven is far too young to leave this world and 346 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 3: to leave this life. Did he have unfinished business? Did 347 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,919 Speaker 3: he have things he really wanted to do that he 348 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 3: didn't get a chance to do? 349 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 2: Well. I think he would have wanted to go camping 350 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 2: one last time, you know, he he Uh. We were 351 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,399 Speaker 2: on our rent to New Mexico and we were walking 352 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 2: outside one day and uh, it's a beautiful day. The 353 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 2: horses were around, and and actually he did want to 354 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:20,239 Speaker 2: go camping. And I was like, oh my god, how 355 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 2: am I going to do this? Because you know, at 356 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 2: that time, he was getting a lot of medication and 357 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,360 Speaker 2: he was getting some pain stuff, and we there are 358 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,439 Speaker 2: bags at things, and and I thought to myself, he 359 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 2: wants to go camping. I have to find out find 360 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 2: a way to do it. We're just going to go 361 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 2: and do it. We're going to take all that s 362 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,120 Speaker 2: h I t with us. We have to. But anyway, 363 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 2: we're we're walking along. It's a beautiful day. And he 364 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 2: looked at me with tears in his eyes. He said, 365 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 2: I want to live. Yeah. It was really Yeah, that's 366 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 2: what he wanted to do more than anything else. He 367 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,679 Speaker 2: just wanted to go with And it's a shame that, 368 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,280 Speaker 2: you know, h You know, when he first found out 369 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:05,360 Speaker 2: he had pancreatic cancer, he turned to me and he said, 370 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:09,680 Speaker 2: I'm a dead man because I didn't know much about 371 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 2: pancreatic cancer, but he did. And from what he knew, 372 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 2: anytime you heard someone did have Patrick acreated cancer, it 373 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 2: was like, well he's out of here. And uh and 374 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,919 Speaker 2: sure enough, the doctor said, you know, you could go 375 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 2: ahead and treat it and be as aggressive as you want, 376 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 2: but do you think about getting your affairs in order 377 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 2: sooner rather than later. That's a that's a tough thing 378 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 2: to hear. 379 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,199 Speaker 3: He heard that immediately after the diagnosis. 380 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:43,440 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, wow, yeah, because we it'd have been confirmed. Uh, 381 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 2: he had a h orthoscopic into scopic thing that confirmed it, 382 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 2: and he was pretty knocked out, and because he was 383 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 2: in a lot of pain after that, and I couldn't 384 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 2: tell him when he was like woozy, you know what 385 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,679 Speaker 2: a thing? That tell him? Huh, you got back granded cancer. 386 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 2: So slept in the room with him in the hospital, 387 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 2: and when I woke up, the doctor was sitting across 388 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,359 Speaker 2: from him and he was in the bed, and I 389 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 2: knew that the doctor had just told him. So that's 390 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 2: how we found out. 391 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, Lisa, that's his first reaction to hearing that diagnosis. 392 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 1: What was yours. 393 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 2: Mine? The first thing I I, well, my first action 394 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 2: was I called my sister in law, who's a brilliant 395 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 2: oncologist in Houston, Texas, Yes or US, and uh, you 396 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 2: know she's like when I told her the news, she 397 00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 2: was like, oh no, And she says, Lisa, we have 398 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 2: to get this together. We need to find a pinacal 399 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 2: trial for him. And I don't want you to delay. 400 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 2: I want you to have him in treatment within a 401 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:07,120 Speaker 2: week and you know, just to come out with all 402 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:13,960 Speaker 2: guns blazing. But it's your life turns on a dime, 403 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 2: and it's just never going to be the same after that, 404 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 2: and yeah, just everything shifted. And we always called ourselves 405 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 2: optimistic realists because we knew in all likelihood how this 406 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 2: was going to turn out. But we held hope that 407 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 2: he would be the one that would make it through, 408 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 2: because miracles do happen. But there was and we kept 409 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,719 Speaker 2: so positive about everything. But I tell you what it 410 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:48,880 Speaker 2: was like, living in a complete nightmare all twenty four 411 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 2: to seven. Yeah, and and trying to keep that positive 412 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 2: energy because you know, I wanted to be there for 413 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 2: him because We're going to fight this with everything we had. 414 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 2: And if I sat down and cried and saw, which 415 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 2: I did on a casha in private, he caught me once, 416 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,679 Speaker 2: you know, because I didn't every every outset of energy 417 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,120 Speaker 2: we had was going to go into helping him live. 418 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,400 Speaker 2: So it was a it was a tough rug. 419 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,240 Speaker 3: I can't imagine with that kind of love and that 420 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 3: kind of commitment for one another. Yes, he was going 421 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 3: through hell physically and emotionally. But for you to be 422 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,440 Speaker 3: the one who has to be the rock that has 423 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 3: I mean, people don't talk about it often enough what 424 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,880 Speaker 3: it's like to be the caregiver, to be the person 425 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 3: who loves the person who's fighting and battling this and 426 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,320 Speaker 3: how did you he only caught you crying once? That 427 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 3: that blew my mind. That's remarkable. How did you do that? 428 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:57,359 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, you know, just now I find a place. 429 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,199 Speaker 2: I find a place to go on a crying jag. No, 430 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 2: maybe maybe twice. And I think the first time I 431 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 2: cried all the way home on a drive and scared 432 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,880 Speaker 2: the hell out of them. I just it scared them. 433 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 2: And but yeah, it's it's it's very tough for a 434 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 2: caregiver when you're fighting. You know, it's like it's going 435 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,800 Speaker 2: to war and it is a matter of life and 436 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 2: death and that those are the stakes that you are 437 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 2: dealing with. And uh, it's hard to take care of yourself. 438 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,199 Speaker 2: And that's one of the things if I had to 439 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 2: do it all over again. 440 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:40,440 Speaker 3: Please no, please no, But you know what, Lisa of 441 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:47,919 Speaker 3: my life imagine, Oh my god, oh my goodness, but 442 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 3: there are Lisa, people are gonna happen again. 443 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 2: My husband, my my wonderful husband. Now I said, I'm sorry, 444 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,119 Speaker 2: I'm going first. 445 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 3: Oh, I can't do this again. 446 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 2: You're used to this id coming out the other end, 447 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,440 Speaker 2: you know. I would recommend for people in a killer 448 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 2: giving situation to really try have some self care, give 449 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 2: yourself some breaks. I used to go to TJ Maxim's shop, 450 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 2: paid two hours, twelve dollars T shirt later. 451 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 3: One of our favorite places. 452 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 2: I love it. I love it and the Uh yeah, 453 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 2: so taking care of yourself. And I didn't do enough 454 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 2: of that. And I because I always said I'll cry later, Scarlet, 455 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:39,640 Speaker 2: I'll cry later, but I can't cry now because I've 456 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 2: got to be here for him. And uh, you know, 457 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 2: after he passed. In the ensuing years after that, I 458 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,640 Speaker 2: really paid a high price for stuffing down all those 459 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 2: feelings and had to go through a lot of trauma 460 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,399 Speaker 2: treatment that I finally got smart enough to go ahead 461 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,359 Speaker 2: and address so I could kind of unravel all the 462 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,480 Speaker 2: things I had done to myself during all that time 463 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 2: I stuff this feelings down. So, yeah, take care of yourself. 464 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 2: Gotta you've got to be there for them. It's not 465 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,640 Speaker 2: going to help help them if you get sick. 466 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 1: So, you know, Lisa, thank you for putting Both of 467 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,320 Speaker 1: us are sitting here wiping tears for the past several 468 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: minutes and listening to you. But then you threw some 469 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 1: humor in there. Un that's something robot here. Everybody knows 470 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,480 Speaker 1: she's a breast cancer survivor. She talks about this thing 471 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 1: cancer humor, and it only seems that it's necessary sometimes, 472 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 1: But all survivors and their caregivers often seem to be 473 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 1: the ones It all seems wrong to laugh with you, 474 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 1: but you clearly we appreciated the smile that you were 475 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,239 Speaker 1: able to just put on our faces. Just then about it. 476 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 1: But back to the idea of the caregiver. Self care 477 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,560 Speaker 1: is one thing, and taking care of yourself, but how 478 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:59,360 Speaker 1: important what do you advise people caregivers about letting your 479 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,240 Speaker 1: loved one who is battling cancer see your pain as well. 480 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,199 Speaker 1: It seems like you always want to keep it away 481 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: from them because they're going through that cancer struggle. But 482 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,159 Speaker 1: is that something you certainly tried to do. But is 483 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 1: that something you advise or recommend to caregivers who are 484 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: listening and people you've talked to over the years. It 485 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:21,040 Speaker 1: just seems so difficult to do. 486 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 2: You mean, to share what you're feeling with them? 487 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, to try to Hie you said he only saw 488 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:25,680 Speaker 1: you cry maybe once or twice. 489 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, And I have to say there were a 490 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 2: couple of times when the opportunity came that to have 491 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 2: a really meaningful conversation about death and how he was 492 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,120 Speaker 2: feeling about that, how I was feeling about that, and 493 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 2: it was it was too scary. It's too scary too 494 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 2: for me. And I wish in a way that that 495 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,359 Speaker 2: was my weak part, you know, in a way, I 496 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 2: wish I had been stronger to be able to risk 497 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,200 Speaker 2: having that conversation with him, because it was so frightening 498 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 2: to me that I mean for me, I felt, you know, 499 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,919 Speaker 2: I felt like I felt like the one who was 500 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 2: going to die. You know, he got to leave, but 501 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 2: I had to stay here, and that was, you know, 502 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:31,480 Speaker 2: so kind of another thing. So anyway, yeah, so I 503 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,399 Speaker 2: think that it would have been valuable for me to 504 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 2: who had sat down and have some of those really 505 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 2: meaningful conversations with him, because I think he wanted it. 506 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,680 Speaker 2: But I think we were both kind of protecting each 507 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 2: other in that regard. 508 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,080 Speaker 3: I mean, you were, as you know, I know, you're 509 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 3: a big advocate for pancreatic cancer research pan CAN, specifically 510 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 3: the organization. You know, you're a huge advocate and an 511 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 3: amazing ambassador for that organization. But this is a disease 512 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 3: that unfortunately, so many people are still going through walking 513 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 3: through so hearing what you went through and telling your 514 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 3: story in Patrick's story, I know, as you know, helped 515 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,080 Speaker 3: so many people just to not feel so alone and 516 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 3: to learn maybe what you wish you could have done, 517 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 3: But my god, you did the best you could. Because 518 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 3: who could possibly be prepared to handle something like that, 519 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:27,440 Speaker 3: because this happens suddenly, and unfortunately a lot of times 520 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 3: people pass quickly. How long was Patrick's battle from start 521 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 3: to finish? 522 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 2: And amazing? Twenty two months? 523 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 3: Wow? 524 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 2: And that that was incredible because in general, I mean, 525 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 2: we ran into people who, like a good friend his brother, 526 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:46,400 Speaker 2: got pancreatic cancer. Yeah, one round of chemotherapy and after 527 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 2: diagnosis he was dead within two weeks. 528 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. 529 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. But the arch usually people passed between because 530 00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:01,160 Speaker 2: by the time you find out it's usually advanced. Usually 531 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 2: they passed between three and six months, and seventy five 532 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:10,960 Speaker 2: percent die within the first year, and at time when 533 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 2: Patrick was silt, less than six percent survived till five years. 534 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. 535 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,960 Speaker 2: Now it's up to a remarkable thirteen percent, which says 536 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 2: we're doing something a little better now. Yeah, So more 537 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 2: people are finding a way better treatments and better ways 538 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 2: of diagnosing all of this. 539 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,200 Speaker 3: I saw that and I thought, you know, that's amazing. 540 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 3: The numbers have almost doubled from the time Patrick was 541 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 3: diagnosed with a five year survivability. But still you're talking 542 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,120 Speaker 3: about nearly ninety percent of people after five years are 543 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 3: no longer with us. That is a devastating disease and 544 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 3: a devastating diagnosis. What do you want people to know 545 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:51,560 Speaker 3: about pancreatic cancer? What can we do? What needs to 546 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:57,280 Speaker 3: be happening? Just give us your your thoughts on what 547 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 3: needs to be done that hasn't been done yet. 548 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 2: Well, then I tell you what this is. Why what 549 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 2: fourteen fifteen years later, I'm still hanging in there because 550 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 2: it's not always easy talking about this stuff. You know, 551 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 2: it brings up, you know, memories that are you know, 552 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 2: not all that pleasant. But I tell you what I know, 553 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 2: and it's I know what these people feel like to 554 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 2: fight for somebody they love, and to do it with 555 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 2: a disease that has so little resources. It's like, yeah, 556 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 2: we are, we all got to go at some point, 557 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 2: but give us a fighting chance. And that's why I 558 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,440 Speaker 2: hang in there, because I want those people to have 559 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:43,040 Speaker 2: the opportunity that Patrick want so valiantly for but the 560 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 2: only way, of course, number one is awareness, well not 561 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,880 Speaker 2: number one number one, excuse me, money. 562 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 3: Yep. 563 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:58,120 Speaker 2: Funding, federal funding. At the end of April, we do 564 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 2: our annual walk, this Purple Stride at April twenty seventh. 565 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 2: I'm going to be at Santa Monica Peer for that, 566 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,560 Speaker 2: but in like sixty communities all over the country, we're 567 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,960 Speaker 2: going to be doing this walk all on one day. 568 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,720 Speaker 2: So it's the biggest thumb raiser of the year. And 569 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 2: I would encourage people to go to paincan dot org 570 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,120 Speaker 2: where they can donate or sign up to go into 571 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:29,440 Speaker 2: the walk. But also bringing awareness so that we can 572 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 2: know the symptoms of pancreat cancer, because earlier you'd catch it, 573 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 2: the better because, like I said, usually it's so advanced 574 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,840 Speaker 2: by the time you do, there's not a whole lot 575 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 2: of options. And like Patrick was stage four when he 576 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:46,600 Speaker 2: was diagnosed. 577 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,200 Speaker 3: What were his symptoms, Lisa, what were patrick symptoms? 578 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 2: He had had persistent stomach pain, his stool had gotten pale, 579 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,160 Speaker 2: unusual and he came to me one morning he says, 580 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:03,000 Speaker 2: to my eyes looking, I said, yeah, they do you know? 581 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 2: And that's because anyway, I don't want to get the 582 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 2: pancreas cuts off the Bill Duck, the Billy Reuben doesn't 583 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 2: get through, and so it changed does so that John 584 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 2: Dust comes in. But there are other other ways, like 585 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 2: unexplained weight loss, sudden onset of diabetes. What's some of 586 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 2: the other ones. Yeah, persistent pain in your back, you're 587 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 2: adam him yellowing, Yeah, stuff like that. The sooner you 588 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:34,280 Speaker 2: catch it, the better. 589 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:38,440 Speaker 1: So you mentioned a moment ago there are so little resources. 590 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,880 Speaker 1: You mentioned money, but then you use that word. It's 591 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,920 Speaker 1: a little that phrase, there's so little resources. But why 592 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:48,360 Speaker 1: is it still that it's hard to get people to 593 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:53,880 Speaker 1: rally in the huge ways we'd like to see for 594 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: cancer as one of, if not the deadliest cancer out there, 595 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: but it has the least resources and seems to get 596 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 1: the least attention. Sometimes. We've had some high profile people, 597 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:08,279 Speaker 1: certainly Patrick and certainly famously recently Alex Trebek. But what 598 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 1: can you say to people listening to get them to 599 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,440 Speaker 1: maybe think differently and start to do more of a 600 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,800 Speaker 1: rallying cry for pancreatic cancer. 601 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:20,320 Speaker 2: I know, when Patrick was sick, it was pretty apparent 602 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:24,239 Speaker 2: to me that everyone researchers are scared off this thing, 603 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:28,000 Speaker 2: like you know it is so tough, and what makes 604 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 2: it so difficult to treat is that what works for 605 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,080 Speaker 2: one person may not work for another, which is why 606 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:39,800 Speaker 2: this targeted therapy and molecular profiling and everything to help 607 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:44,160 Speaker 2: direct patients towards the treatment that's going to work best 608 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:48,520 Speaker 2: for them. But that makes it really really hard thing 609 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,759 Speaker 2: to crack. Just like Patrick, he did get in a 610 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,120 Speaker 2: clinical trial. I believe there are seventy five people and 611 00:34:55,160 --> 00:35:00,600 Speaker 2: he was one of two that thrived on it. It's very, 612 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 2: very tough. And then these pharmaceutical companies and bio companies, 613 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,120 Speaker 2: you know, becomes a matter of money, because why do 614 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 2: they want to invest all this time into developing a 615 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 2: clinical study when in all likelihood fail and a lot 616 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:24,879 Speaker 2: of them fail, and so but you what you need? 617 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:25,760 Speaker 2: You need more money? 618 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 1: Is that kind of hit right there? The bottom line 619 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,399 Speaker 1: is who wants to invest in something that they don't 620 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,759 Speaker 1: think is going to be financially beneficial? I mean that, 621 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that seems like the crassest thing in the world, 622 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,720 Speaker 1: But is that bottom line? 623 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 3: Yeah? 624 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 2: But you know what, it's it's going to be people 625 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:44,759 Speaker 2: like us out there that are going to help be 626 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 2: helped supporting it in PANCN does may I've just read 627 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:55,480 Speaker 2: how many millions and millions they've raised for research, and 628 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,360 Speaker 2: they are very keen on that, and they do a 629 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:02,239 Speaker 2: lot of research and anytime I'm in one of their 630 00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:06,279 Speaker 2: dinners or meetings, that's their first and foremost. But also 631 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 2: pan CAN in addition to their fundraising for research, which 632 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:15,359 Speaker 2: has been very beneficial, they also offer patient services so 633 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,280 Speaker 2: that if you have a loved one or friend who 634 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 2: is diagnosed, I would encourage them heartily to contact pancan 635 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,400 Speaker 2: dot org and you'll get a person on the phone 636 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,920 Speaker 2: that can help walk you through all the information that 637 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:31,560 Speaker 2: you will ever need. It's a multifaceted organization. It's like 638 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,520 Speaker 2: a one stop shopping and they can even help you 639 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 2: find a clinical trial to get in that might be 640 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 2: near you and do a not hold handing because when 641 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,399 Speaker 2: pan created cancer comes up, you start learning a lot 642 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,720 Speaker 2: about something you never wanted to learn about. 643 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,040 Speaker 3: You have been and continue to be an incredible advocate, 644 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,960 Speaker 3: and I know that pan CAN and anyone who is 645 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,640 Speaker 3: battling this disease or love someone who's battling this disease, 646 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,759 Speaker 3: is grateful to you and to your work, because it 647 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 3: is about the power of one voice even to get 648 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 3: people thinking and talking and doing something different. And I 649 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,200 Speaker 3: know that you know, Patrick is just cheering you on 650 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:21,080 Speaker 3: because my god, like what a legacy you are for 651 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:25,279 Speaker 3: him to be carrying this torch and to shout it 652 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,959 Speaker 3: from the rooftops. People need to pay attention and people 653 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,840 Speaker 3: need to fund research to save lives because this is 654 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,040 Speaker 3: outrageous that we're still dealing with cancer and the way 655 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,600 Speaker 3: we are, that we don't have a cure, we don't 656 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,840 Speaker 3: have a way forward. And I applaud you, just personally 657 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,839 Speaker 3: as a cancer survivor for your work and how you 658 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,480 Speaker 3: honor Patrick. And I think another part of this journey. 659 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:47,040 Speaker 3: You mentioned that he got to leave and you had 660 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,279 Speaker 3: to stay, and that's part of the pain. But I 661 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,960 Speaker 3: also think for anyone who's going through that or who 662 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,040 Speaker 3: has been through that, to look and see what you've 663 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,360 Speaker 3: been able to do, not only as an advocate, but personally. 664 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,400 Speaker 3: You did find love again, and I think that's an 665 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,319 Speaker 3: important part of this story. That your life didn't end, 666 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,240 Speaker 3: it's continued. Can you talk a little bit about finding 667 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,440 Speaker 3: another love. It didn't replace the love, but to be 668 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,360 Speaker 3: able to love again. 669 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:14,400 Speaker 2: You know, Robert or and I both feel very fortunate, 670 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 2: and he had gone through a very heartbreaking divorce and 671 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:24,880 Speaker 2: it was really wounded. And of course I lost Patrick, 672 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,640 Speaker 2: and it was about three years later. If we had 673 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:31,359 Speaker 2: met before then, we would have happened. But after three 674 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,799 Speaker 2: years we were about ready and we were introduced by 675 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 2: longtime friends that we both known for over thirty years 676 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 2: and who vouched for the other person. And it was 677 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,759 Speaker 2: you know, I didn't realize just how lonely I was 678 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:58,719 Speaker 2: until much much later, because I've I'm a buck up 679 00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,920 Speaker 2: kind of girl. You know, I could take it. You know, 680 00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:07,080 Speaker 2: I this is not loneliness. I'm feeling your heart. I'm 681 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:12,920 Speaker 2: dealing with brief yes, But it was so wonderful when 682 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:16,040 Speaker 2: it came in my life. And what was interesting to 683 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:20,600 Speaker 2: me was, you know, you think, well, how could you 684 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:25,719 Speaker 2: forget Patrick? Are you kidding me? Patrick's still with me, 685 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,560 Speaker 2: you know, I still have a relationship with him. It's 686 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,600 Speaker 2: just he's physically not here. He's in every day he's 687 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 2: with me, and I feel him there. And what was 688 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:41,279 Speaker 2: really unusual was that and I really fell in love 689 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:47,120 Speaker 2: with Albert and it didn't affect interesting to see how 690 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:51,080 Speaker 2: it didn't affect my love for Patrick one bit. It 691 00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,279 Speaker 2: was it was like, and I was talking to a 692 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 2: girlfriend about that and how extraordinary that was, and she says, 693 00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:02,000 Speaker 2: that's because love comes from the same Well I thought 694 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:06,440 Speaker 2: that was pretty deep deep. Well, yeah, it's just like, 695 00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,640 Speaker 2: just because you lose a loved one doesn't mean you 696 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,399 Speaker 2: stop loving and you don't have that love to give. 697 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,640 Speaker 2: And I think Albert and I were fortunate to find 698 00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:16,960 Speaker 2: someone to give that love to. 699 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, did you hesitate on your own even to feel 700 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,880 Speaker 1: like did it take you a moment to say is 701 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,560 Speaker 1: it okay for me? And talking to yourself, is it 702 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,799 Speaker 1: okay for me to love someone? 703 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,879 Speaker 2: When he asked when he asked me to marry him, 704 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 2: I was like, oh. 705 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,480 Speaker 1: I'm sure he appreciated that response. 706 00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:42,319 Speaker 2: Just what do you wanted to hear? Yeah, you know, 707 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,080 Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, oh my gosh, well 708 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,279 Speaker 2: that's different because I'm already married. You know. It's like 709 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,120 Speaker 2: I felt like I was already married in a way, 710 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:55,439 Speaker 2: because you know, I still love Patrick. And I even 711 00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,000 Speaker 2: said that Albert, I said, that doesn't bother you that 712 00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 2: I still love Patrick. He says, no, this is how 713 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,799 Speaker 2: I know you love him, and I know you love me, 714 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 2: and I'm here to love you now. It's like, oh, 715 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:15,879 Speaker 2: that's pretty nice. But I actually had a dream when 716 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:19,319 Speaker 2: we were looking at getting married and everything I had 717 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:25,640 Speaker 2: it was interesting. I won't go into a whole description, 718 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:29,600 Speaker 2: but it was like he was resurrected and I was 719 00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,080 Speaker 2: in this courtyard and he came out. And when I 720 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,960 Speaker 2: see him in my dreams, he would never speak, you know, 721 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:39,480 Speaker 2: but I can understand what he was saying, and because 722 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,279 Speaker 2: I had many dreams about him. And he came up 723 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:47,359 Speaker 2: to me and I'm like, and he put his arms 724 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 2: on me, around me, and he said, and I was like, 725 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:54,520 Speaker 2: I can't. I can't marry a Hobert. Oh. I was elated. 726 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,120 Speaker 2: First of all. I was elated. He's back. He's back, 727 00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 2: He's back, and I was just so, but oh my god, 728 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,759 Speaker 2: I can't marry Albert now because you're back. Thank god, 729 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,640 Speaker 2: you're back. And he just looked at me and I 730 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,480 Speaker 2: in what his words came to me were says, no, 731 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,759 Speaker 2: I know you love me. It has nothing to do 732 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:20,160 Speaker 2: with it, you know. He he just said this. I 733 00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:25,880 Speaker 2: can't remember exactly, but it was like he he was 734 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 2: letting me know it didn't change how we felt about 735 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:32,000 Speaker 2: each other, in our relationship with each other, and it 736 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:33,080 Speaker 2: was like giving a blessing. 737 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,880 Speaker 1: Did you need that, Lisa, did you need a blessing 738 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,680 Speaker 1: of some kind before a nod from Patrick? Almost before 739 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 1: you would get married. 740 00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:43,359 Speaker 2: It sure didn't hurt. 741 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,520 Speaker 3: I know that. That was for me almost like life 742 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 3: imitating art, because I kept thinking of the movie Ghost 743 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:52,040 Speaker 3: when you were saying. 744 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,359 Speaker 2: That, Oh my gosh, yes, it was. 745 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,239 Speaker 3: Wild you were describing that, and I was just I 746 00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,000 Speaker 3: was seeing the movie in my mind. 747 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:06,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, I I have to say it was. It was 748 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,960 Speaker 2: a really wonderful dream, just like what you what I 749 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,319 Speaker 2: said earlier, what my girlfriend said about love being from 750 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:18,200 Speaker 2: the same well and uh, well and going through the 751 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:24,360 Speaker 2: whole fight with heacreated cancer and this terminal illness and 752 00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:29,720 Speaker 2: uh you know, it really focuses you on what's important 753 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:33,239 Speaker 2: in life, and that love and that's that was the 754 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,440 Speaker 2: most important thing of all, was the love that we 755 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:39,200 Speaker 2: had together. So it sounds like I'm quoting the end 756 00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:41,960 Speaker 2: line of Ghosts, now, aren't they. 757 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,799 Speaker 3: Oh it's I mean, it's so beautiful, I mean, and 758 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:50,280 Speaker 3: it's so inspirational, and it's not the way anybody wants 759 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,759 Speaker 3: perspective to be given, but my god, it is the 760 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:59,359 Speaker 3: ultimate perspective when you realize what's important and what's not. 761 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,840 Speaker 3: And sadly sometimes it comes in these types of moments. 762 00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:08,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, and interestingly, I've always coming out of that. It 763 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,440 Speaker 2: is like, gosh, I never want to forget this. I 764 00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:15,480 Speaker 2: never want to forget that and what's really important in life? 765 00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,279 Speaker 2: And dang it, don't you know? You get involved with 766 00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:22,120 Speaker 2: stuff and you know, got a house under construction and 767 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:26,080 Speaker 2: we're renovating this, and we're I can't get to my 768 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:30,360 Speaker 2: horses and I can't get to finish that, and you 769 00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:36,480 Speaker 2: start losing track and uh, instead of just enjoying every 770 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:40,440 Speaker 2: moment that you've got here, because you know, you we 771 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,239 Speaker 2: don't own each We don't have each other in each 772 00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:46,920 Speaker 2: other's life forever. We don't even have our own life. 773 00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:50,839 Speaker 2: It's not something we own. And uh so we got 774 00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:55,000 Speaker 2: to appreciate it while it's here. And that's hard, and 775 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,120 Speaker 2: that's pretty be hard to keep track of. 776 00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:02,480 Speaker 1: The Lisa, and I asked, did you ever you all 777 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:06,000 Speaker 1: had a very public love story, And in your story, 778 00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,160 Speaker 1: I'm thinking to about Kelly Rizzo, who someone we know 779 00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 1: who the course, the wife of Bob Sagett. He was 780 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:16,440 Speaker 1: a very beloved public figure and she actually came out 781 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,359 Speaker 1: it made a statement not too long ago, because she 782 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:22,160 Speaker 1: was getting criticism because she was dating after he'd been 783 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:26,040 Speaker 1: he passed a year and a half with two years years. Yeah, 784 00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,680 Speaker 1: but she even felt that she had to come out 785 00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:31,279 Speaker 1: and make a statement about how lonely she was and 786 00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:33,799 Speaker 1: to almost she wasn't asking for permission, But I was 787 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:38,240 Speaker 1: amazed that people were criticizing her for loving again or 788 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:42,000 Speaker 1: dating again. But did you ever feel that kind of thing, 789 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,920 Speaker 1: even internally or externally from folks that you all had 790 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,799 Speaker 1: this public love story and people only want to think 791 00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,400 Speaker 1: about you two together, not you with somebody else. 792 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:56,800 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, And you know what, pretty quickly after Patrick died, 793 00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:01,600 Speaker 2: I remember hearing about both by there and Carol Joyce. 794 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:06,400 Speaker 2: So it's the author, brilliant author, and she she started 795 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,320 Speaker 2: she like got married six months after her husband died, 796 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,360 Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, in the world could you 797 00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,839 Speaker 2: do that? You know how in the world? And then 798 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,719 Speaker 2: as I went along, I went you go girl, good 799 00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:23,080 Speaker 2: for you, you know, And another another girlfriend of mine 800 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:31,840 Speaker 2: says something wonderful life life is too short to not God. 801 00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,960 Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure out I'm going to make up 802 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,439 Speaker 2: the first part, life is too short to not find 803 00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:42,880 Speaker 2: love and it's too long to be alone, so you know, 804 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,759 Speaker 2: get on with it. And yes, I got a lot 805 00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:49,719 Speaker 2: of flack. It's like, how dare you? And for you know, 806 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:53,919 Speaker 2: there's some pretty rabbit Patrick fans out there and who 807 00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:57,600 Speaker 2: think I'm evil, you know, just don't like me because 808 00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,680 Speaker 2: I was married to him, and so I got there's 809 00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:02,600 Speaker 2: a lot of flat that came on that, a lot 810 00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:06,000 Speaker 2: of criticism and you know, you just learned to deal 811 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:09,719 Speaker 2: with it and move on. So but you know, it's 812 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,640 Speaker 2: like i'd like to I was so temped as so 813 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:16,040 Speaker 2: many times you say, hey, hey, girlfriend, stand in my shoes. 814 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:20,239 Speaker 2: Tell me about it. Now, go ahead, tell me just 815 00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,800 Speaker 2: because I lost my husband that I don't love them anymore. 816 00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,680 Speaker 2: You know, It's like, how can I can just say that? 817 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:27,960 Speaker 2: You know, so ridiculous. 818 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:32,839 Speaker 3: Well, it's it's I think anyone who has any worth 819 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,880 Speaker 3: or value in your life knows who you are and 820 00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:39,760 Speaker 3: sees that and knows that you can you can love again, 821 00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,680 Speaker 3: and it doesn't have anything to do with the love 822 00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 3: you had and still have for Patrick. And I love 823 00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,080 Speaker 3: that you're speaking out about it because so many people 824 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:51,320 Speaker 3: are walking this path and so you sharing your experience 825 00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,000 Speaker 3: is a huge comfort. I know just so many people, 826 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:58,040 Speaker 3: and again, thank you so much for I mean, this 827 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:01,080 Speaker 3: is not an easy subject. It is, but it's an 828 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:04,200 Speaker 3: important one and just to really appreciate you lending your 829 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:05,360 Speaker 3: beautiful voice to it. 830 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:10,120 Speaker 2: Oh that's thank you so much. And I love sharing 831 00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,400 Speaker 2: about it because I know when I've heard people share 832 00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:15,680 Speaker 2: their experiences how much it's meant to me. So I 833 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:17,719 Speaker 2: appreciate the opportunity to share it that. 834 00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:21,160 Speaker 1: It meant a lot to us personally. At least. Maybe 835 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,880 Speaker 1: you've never listened to our podcast before, but several episodes 836 00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,120 Speaker 1: end up becoming therapy sessions for the two of us, 837 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,120 Speaker 1: and I will say thank you from both of us 838 00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,480 Speaker 1: on a very personal level because I kid you not. 839 00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,400 Speaker 1: On the train ride to the studio today, she and 840 00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:38,480 Speaker 1: I were struggling with something and something small, petty, but 841 00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:43,080 Speaker 1: it had us kind of down down the dumps about 842 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:47,440 Speaker 1: what was going on and we needed perspective and we 843 00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:49,680 Speaker 1: tried to get it on the walk away here and 844 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,880 Speaker 1: tried to come out of it on our own. But 845 00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,640 Speaker 1: you are exactly who we needed to talk to today to 846 00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:58,480 Speaker 1: to laugh, to cry, and to get a little perspective 847 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:01,880 Speaker 1: back about life. Sometimes you need reminders. We so we 848 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 1: thank you for the therapy session today. You were very helpful. 849 00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:08,719 Speaker 2: Great thank you