Speaker 1: Everybody. It's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks,
Speaker 1: and welcome to Shop Talk number fifty eight. Welcome into
Speaker 1: the shop. Oh there's Alex who just walked in. What's up.
Speaker 2: I've been here the whole time, but there you go.
Speaker 1: Well, it's trying to, you know, like some nineteen forties
Speaker 1: radio stuff. Maybe we should have.
Speaker 2: We're both too tired from that. You said you've been
Speaker 2: waking up at what four you or you've been doing
Speaker 2: four hours sleep every day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm dealing with all kinds of stuff, but I'm
Speaker 1: trying to make this fun. But this one. You you
Speaker 1: stepping in and we need one of those. Yeah, from all.
Speaker 2: That, you're old enough to remember those forties radio stuff, right.
Speaker 1: I just I've watched them on TV before.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So anyway, Uh, Chop Talk number fifty eight, everybody, we
Speaker 1: are continuing a little bit of our discussion on experimenting
Speaker 1: with Uh no, we're not sorry.
Speaker 2: Keep going.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what we're doing for the next two weeks is
Speaker 1: we're going to feature powerful pieces of writing from an
Speaker 1: Army member named Eric Losmo. Eric has a substack titled
Speaker 1: Some Assembly Required, and his first piece is titled for
Speaker 1: All the fifty year old men who dot dot dot.
Speaker 1: So we're going to dive into that right after these
Speaker 1: brief messages from our general sponsors. All right, everybody, welcome
Speaker 1: back chot Talk number fifty eight. Some assembly required. This
Speaker 1: first spiece you're about to hear is titled for all
Speaker 1: the fifty year old men who Eric recorded a performance
Speaker 1: of the Peace Force, and Alec is gonna cue it
Speaker 1: and play it for me right now, and then we
Speaker 1: will have a little conversation about it when it concludes.
Speaker 1: So now is Eric Oxmo performing for all the fifty
Speaker 1: year old men who.
Speaker 3: Do all the boys who were told to grow up
Speaker 3: to be a man, to get over it, Stop crying,
Speaker 3: stop daydreaming, make mom proud, be the hero, fight back,
Speaker 3: and never show your true self. This one's for you
Speaker 3: to this striver who spent twenty five years chasing the
Speaker 3: paycheck in the position who now sits in the corner office,
Speaker 3: holds the executive title, where's the envy of others, but
Speaker 3: feels trapped, wondering if it was all worth it, and
Speaker 3: dreams about quitting to write that novel or open that restaurant.
Speaker 3: May you find courage to the father packing up his
Speaker 3: daughter's car for college, wishing he could rewind the clock
Speaker 3: to relive just one more dance recital or softball game,
Speaker 3: to grasp a little hand crossing the street, to hear
Speaker 3: bedtime giggles, and comfort tears over teenage heartbreaks. May you
Speaker 3: find grace to the husband who's afraid to say it
Speaker 3: out loud, I feel lonely. May you find comfort to
Speaker 3: the friend who believes his time has passed, that the
Speaker 3: finances will always be tight, that the pain will never leave,
Speaker 3: that the marriage will always be so hard, and that
Speaker 3: his heart may always feel broken. May you find hope
Speaker 3: to the addict who wears the title of an amer
Speaker 3: doctor but spends his days in a fog of shame,
Speaker 3: promising himself every night, just one more time, then I'll stop.
Speaker 3: May you find healing to the artist still waiting year
Speaker 3: after year for the break, watching others less talented get
Speaker 3: the deal, the attention, the applause, and wondering if it
Speaker 3: is him or will it be someone else. May you
Speaker 3: find passion to the daddy who silently wonders if his
Speaker 3: children will repeat the same mistakes he did. May you
Speaker 3: find peace to the entrepreneur whose wife is begging for
Speaker 3: stability while he keeps chasing a dream that always stays
Speaker 3: just out of reach. May you find wisdom to the
Speaker 3: single man who hasn't found love yet, who wonders if
Speaker 3: he ever will, who questions whether he can't even love
Speaker 3: or be loved. May you find truly find love to
Speaker 3: the husband his wife no longer wears her ring, who
Speaker 3: doesn't look up when he walks in the door and
Speaker 3: only reminds him of the running toilet in the guest bathroom.
Speaker 3: May you find joy to the former athlete who puts
Speaker 3: pressure on his junior high son, driving home in silence
Speaker 3: after a bad game. Remind the boy of all the
Speaker 3: trophies in the office. May you find humility to the
Speaker 3: neighbor who feels the simmering resentment that his car isn't
Speaker 3: as nice, his house isn't as big, his lawn not
Speaker 3: as green, his vacation not as extravagant. May you find
Speaker 3: contentment and to all the fifty ish year old men
Speaker 3: who still believe the lies, who carry a shame like
Speaker 3: a backpack full of bricks, who think they're all alone,
Speaker 3: who wish they could start over, who wonder how they
Speaker 3: got here, the ones who long for affection, admiration, appreciation,
Speaker 3: Who cringe when they look in the mirror, who ache
Speaker 3: for a true friend, Who think maybe just a few
Speaker 3: more dollars or one more good vacation will finally fix it?
Speaker 3: Who whisper in the dark? Am I needed? Am I wanted? Anymore?
Speaker 3: May you have assurance that you are not alone?
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, so Eric, thank you for what you wrote,
Speaker 1: and thanks for the narration. And I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: I if I want to crawl a whole and cry
Speaker 1: or if I want to feel vindicated for about twenty
Speaker 1: things I've done wrong in my life after listening to it.
Speaker 1: What do you think, Heyvy?
Speaker 2: It reminded me of the line from Henry David Threau.
Speaker 1: It does.
Speaker 2: Yeah, most men live lives of quiet desperation.
Speaker 1: Yeah. What I really appreciate about it is we are broken.
Speaker 1: We are broken from birth, and so much of what
Speaker 1: we learn wrongly about masculinity is we're supposed to be
Speaker 1: tough and overcome it all, and our heart's break and
Speaker 1: our feelings get hurt, and our dreams get dashed, and
Speaker 1: we also deal with depression, and fifty years or more
Speaker 1: in this life, you will get beaten about the head
Speaker 1: and shoulders plenty, and those battle scars where on your
Speaker 1: psyche and your heart. And as I hear Eric, I
Speaker 1: almost get this overarching feeling that hey, guys, we're not alone.
Speaker 1: We all feel some of the same stuff in one
Speaker 1: way or another.
Speaker 3: And.
Speaker 1: It's okay to fill those things and it doesn't make
Speaker 1: you less of a man or a failure to deal
Speaker 1: with many of those types of emotions and thoughts and
Speaker 1: situations that Eric mentions.
Speaker 2: What I appreciate him talking and writing about it too,
Speaker 2: is one of my favorite Bonheffer lines. Go back and
Speaker 2: listen to our Bonheffer episode. There's a paraphrase, but he
Speaker 2: basically says the problem of Christians that they're lonely in
Speaker 2: their sins, whereas the centers of the bar have so
Speaker 2: much more fellowship with each other because they share everything.
Speaker 2: And so whether it's your line, yeah, I mean it's
Speaker 2: a paraphrase, but that's basically what he's saying. And yeah,
Speaker 2: I think if we all share stuff like this, we
Speaker 2: feel us alone. And it's not just us.
Speaker 1: I think even if you fill alone and you hear
Speaker 1: another man recite what Eric just recited, you are reminded
Speaker 1: you're not alone, and your failures are okay, and the
Speaker 1: sun's going to come up tomorrow and you just keep rolling.
Speaker 1: I particularly a couple of the lines, and I'm paraphrasing
Speaker 1: now of Eric's, but one was the dad who makes
Speaker 1: his eight year old endure a quiet ride home, reminding
Speaker 1: his son of his own trophies in his cabinet. May
Speaker 1: you find humility? That line alone is how we create
Speaker 1: this desperate masculinity and we got to be better for
Speaker 1: our own sons.
Speaker 2: Yeah. One of my takeaways from the piece too, is
Speaker 2: how you avoid some of those traps is by deciding
Speaker 2: what game you're playing. And this is something I've heard
Speaker 2: a lot of other podcasts day in the last two years,
Speaker 2: and I've really reflected on, is is your game for power?
Speaker 2: Is it for money? Is it for status? Is it
Speaker 2: for pleasure? Sex? And so deciding or.
Speaker 1: Some combination of all, Yeah, and.
Speaker 2: What's your god?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Those things could be your god too. So you know,
Speaker 2: for me personally, my game is the calogue is trying
Speaker 2: to get it to have it, and that's the game.
Speaker 2: And that's easier said than done, right. I feel it
Speaker 2: every single day of trying to play these other games,
Speaker 2: but reminding myself you know of that or you give it.
Speaker 2: You know it's something not of faith, you know for you.
Speaker 2: I really like Jackie Robinson's line we talked about recently
Speaker 2: of a life is unimportant except for the impact it
Speaker 2: has on other lives. So you can make that the
Speaker 2: game you're playing your impact on other people. Right, But
Speaker 2: deciding what game you're playing and having a not be
Speaker 2: one of these traps that I think is.
Speaker 1: Huge, and I think also kind of parlay on top
Speaker 1: of that Jackie Robinson line is you know where better
Speaker 1: or where more important is your influence than in your
Speaker 1: own home. But in your own home is also where
Speaker 1: you get the most scars, because we hurt the people
Speaker 1: closest to us. It's where our wives do stuff that
Speaker 1: hurt us, our guard. I mean that the line at
Speaker 1: my age now, the line of longing for another little
Speaker 1: hand across the street with as your children leave. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's tough a guy like me with four
Speaker 1: children who he worships that are now adult, eight children
Speaker 1: and all moved off and living out of this house.
Speaker 1: That new seasons of life can be jolting. And everybody's like,
Speaker 1: you know, the moms and you know the empty and
Speaker 1: all that but hey, it hits me too. It's the
Speaker 1: guy to So you know.
Speaker 2: At least your wife loves you. You got that one right,
Speaker 2: what's up? At least Lisa loves you. You got that
Speaker 2: one all right.
Speaker 1: And I love her too, So you're right. So for
Speaker 1: all the fifty year old men who maybe play that
Speaker 1: over four or five times and understand, you're not alone.
Speaker 1: There's choices every day to atone for the things you've
Speaker 1: done wrong. And for those of you who have people
Speaker 1: that love you that you love, understand gosh, every single
Speaker 1: day you have a chance to make a difference from
Speaker 1: Eric Loxmo. Some assembly required shop Talk number fifty eight
Speaker 1: for all the fifty year old men who thanks Eric.
Speaker 1: That's good stuff, Alex, anything else before we leave, that's great?
Speaker 1: Thanks Bill, all right, we'll see you. We'll see you
Speaker 1: next week. If you like this episode, rate to review it.
Speaker 1: If you want to come up with some shop Talk ideas,
Speaker 1: send me an email at Bill at normalfolks dot us
Speaker 1: or Alex at Army at normal folks dot us. Join
Speaker 1: the podcast and I don't know, subscribe to it and
Speaker 1: do something else right.
Speaker 2: Follow us all your favorite social channels.
Speaker 1: Follow us on our Premium member. All the things, all of
Speaker 1: these things that will help us scrow an army normal folks.
Speaker 1: That's Shop Talk number fifty eight one more time, Eric Loxmo,
Speaker 1: thanks for sharing.