WEBVTT - Zombie-ing with Amanda Stanton & Patti Stanger 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.480 Hell I Suck Good Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:12.200 and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello, everyone, welcome to the 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:16.040 program help I Suck at Dating. I'm Jared Haven in 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:21.320 studio recording from Burbank, California. I am joined via Skype 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:27.120 from about let's say, three thousand miles away by the roughly. 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:31.800 You're a cross country well in another country. But the beautiful, 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:36.880 the wonderful Vanessa Grimle Da Vanessa. How are you? Um? 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:39.240 I love how you ruled your RS so that means 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:41.400 you can I can probably teach you French and Italian 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:44.839 really well. And you blend in really amazingly. That's like 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:49.360 my overall theme in life is just to blend in easily. UM. 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:51.159 We have a great show for you coming up. We 0:00:51.240 --> 0:00:53.760 have Amanda stan who's going to be in studio. You 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:55.680 all know her from her time on the Bachelor. We're 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:58.040 very good friends with her. She's talking about her brand 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:02.160 new book that just hit bookshelves called Now Accepting Roses, 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.479 Finding Myself while searching for the One and other lessons 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:07.320 I learned from The Bachelor. I read it over the weekend. 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:09.280 I'm very excited to talk to her about that. I 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:14.120 have many questions. We also have Patty Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker, 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:16.639 who will be on the line in a little while 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.399 talking about a new show that she was involved in. 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:22.000 Excuse me, not a new show, a new movie, uh, 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:24.600 starring one of my favorite actresses of all time. I'll 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:27.480 talk about that later, uh in the show. But first, 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:30.120 we have a very special announcement here on Help I 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:32.399 Suck at Dating. By the way, Dean is not here today. 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:35.640 He's still in Egypt, I think, looking at pyramids. And no, 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:38.560 he did not drive the van there. But we have 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:42.800 a very important message announcement, uh, something that we are 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:46.240 very excited to talk about on the podcast today. It 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:49.480 only comes once a year and it's the best time 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:58.080 of the year. It is Vanessa Grimaldi's birthday. Birthday. I 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.000 thought you were going to talk about the other important 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.840 thing that we're mentioning today too, because there's another thing 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:07.040 we're celebrating as well. We are, but this takes your birthday, 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:10.280 takes precedent. The other thing that Vanessa was talking about 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:14.840 is today marks the one hundredth episode of Help I 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:19.600 Suck At Dating? And I Heart Radio podcast. Is that 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:21.960 the only sounder you have? Pretty much? I got that 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:26.239 or this one that's not as fun, but Dean's not here, 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:29.120 and Dean Dean hosted the first one. I know he's solo, 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:31.920 so we're gonna celebrate when he gets back, because it 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:36.120 really would be ridiculous just for Vanessa to celebrate the 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:40.200 one episode of a podcast that we didn't start. But Vanessa, 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:42.640 it's your birthday. I know that I'm not really supposed 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.880 to talk about women's age, but we're all friends here, 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:52.640 So how old are you turning? Two? So young you 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:55.000 don't look at them over twenty and I'm not joking 0:02:55.040 --> 0:03:00.760 about four. I don't look older than twenty four. I 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.480 think you look like a woman in her mid to 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:06.760 late I'm not going any higher than that. Okay, I'll 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:10.440 take twenty six. I mean, listen, I definitely when my 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:12.400 birthday hit this year, I totally forgot was my birthday. 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:14.200 Today was So it's also the Jewish New Year for 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:18.519 anyone that's celebrating Rasha Shanna, Happy New Year, Happy New Year. 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:20.799 My boyfriend is Jewish, so we went to the synagogue 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:24.959 today and it was my first time at the synagogue, 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:28.720 and what the rabbi was saying was resonated so much 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:30.760 with me and I guess a message that I needed 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:33.800 to hear on my birthday, and he basically was staying 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:36.040 for the new year to focus on three things. One 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:38.800 of the three things is forgiveness, learning how to forgive, 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:43.160 forgive yourself, and learning how to not hold grudges because 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:44.840 life is too short. And it was so funny because 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:48.800 I just posted a picture on Instagram, UM yesterday saying 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:51.040 all the things that I do that I've done that 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:53.720 I was ashamed of and then I have forgiven myself 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:56.000 for in the last year and things that you know, like, 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:57.880 I know I'm not perfect, and I don't want to 0:03:57.880 --> 0:04:00.200 be perfect, but it's things that I've learned and I've 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:03.560 grown from and um, so that resonated with me. And 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:07.480 number two was too. And this goes out to Mark 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:11.600 and Easton and Tori and Amy, the people that to 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:15.680 show humanity, so to ask questions that people who you 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:18.000 work with, who are not directly related to your job, 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:20.480 who might be working and cleaning in the studio, who 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.680 might be doing the things on the back end that 0:04:22.720 --> 0:04:26.520 aren't getting the recognition that they deserve, show humanity towards 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:30.200 those people. So huge thank you to the producers, Mark Easton, 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:34.200 Amy the backer of this podcast really backbone. UM, I 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:38.080 love you guys, and number three was, Um, I don't 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:40.320 remember number three? Well, why are you thinking to number three? 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:48.200 Let's get a round of applause everybody who's in there. 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.600 You guys really are the hard working crew of this 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:54.320 and Vanessa myself indeed, just we we ramble, we talked 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:57.000 about nonsense, and you guys just make us look better. 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:59.560 So we really appreciate what we are richer for knowing 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:01.920 you guys, because it's really been wonderful getting to know 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:06.920 all of the people on these podcasts. Really a fair point, Vanessa, 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.760 why did you think of number three yet? Oh? Yes, 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:12.840 number three? And I think this we can all resonate with. 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:16.200 This is UM to not get distracted by the noise, 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:20.120 not to get to make sure that you stay on 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:24.440 your path and not get distracted by the fancier the 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:27.240 shinier things in life. UM, and to stay loyal to 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:31.560 the people that UM have stayed by your side. So 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:33.480 that was a big one. So what did you mean 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:38.080 by don't let the noise distract you? So, especially in 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:40.719 the industry that we are in, it's very easy to 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:44.120 get distracted or not even just the industry. We're in 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:48.279 Instagram nowadays is a huge distraction, right. UM. I find 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:51.440 myself sometimes being really low on comparing myself with other 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.920 people are doing, where they're traveling to, um, assuming how 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:58.120 much money they're making, um, and all that stuff, and 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:03.240 that's just noise. That's such a distraction, And we shouldn't 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:07.000 get redirected, um, towards those things. We should stay focus 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:09.840 on the path and the goals that fuel us. And 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:12.920 what are you know? I was having this conversation with 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:15.880 someone in high school. When you're in high school, you 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:18.000 have to decide what's your job going to be for 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:20.120 the rest of your life? Right? How do you how 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:21.200 do you know what you want to be for the 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.080 rest of your life when you're high school. You know, 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:24.720 I'm thirty, I still don't know what I want to 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:28.520 do that we're still figuring it out. And so I 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:30.919 think it's so important to you at the end of 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:33.920 the day, find what you're what fuels you and what 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:36.159 drives you and what makes you so hungry in the 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:38.039 morning to wake up and like do the things that 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.159 you love, and what your definition of successes. And for me, 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.479 my definition of success is having my friends and family 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:46.880 around me that loved me and that that support me 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:50.960 and doing things to help people. That's my level of 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:53.000 that's what my level of successes, and that's what I 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:55.240 want to focus on this year. Yeah, totally. I wish 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:56.680 I was trying to find the article right now, but 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:59.080 I was reading something last year about how you shouldn't 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:01.880 look at Instagram before you go to bed. You actually 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:04.080 look at something it's not It doesn't say that you 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:05.719 shouldn't look at your phone, but you shouldn't look at 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.240 social media because apparently it gives you so much anxiety 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.480 because you are always comparing yourself to other people that 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:14.640 you see, whether it be friends or influencers or bloggers 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.120 that you follow. Uh, And that you should really watch 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:19.920 something far more lighthearted that makes you feel ease and 0:07:19.960 --> 0:07:21.480 comfortable before you go to bed, and it will make 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:24.240 you sleep better at night. I wish I found the article, 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:25.760 but I didn't. But like so many people watch Friends 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:28.360 if all sleeped, Like my wife Antonia, both falselep to 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:32.320 friends every night. It's yeah, it's it's just something about 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:35.360 turning off your brain and just enjoying it and just happiness. Yeah, 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:39.440 I get it. Yeah, Uh, I agree, Mark, what's your show. 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:41.440 Do you have a show that you false like darkness 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:43.960 and silence? I don't. I don't subscribe to this theory. 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:45.840 So you're not in your own head. I'm not in 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:47.800 my own head. I I'm pretty good at getting out 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:49.600 of my own head. I can tell when I'm laying 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:51.520 there in my own head, and I have techniques just 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:53.200 to get out of it. And then i'm what's your 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:55.800 technique for the listeners? It's not really I don't know 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:59.880 that it's shareable necessarily. It's certain like I don't turn. 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:01.760 I don't know how to put it into words. Actually, 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:05.880 I mean it's it's breathing and it's um. It's a 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:10.280 certain amount of just kind of visualization of of anything. 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:12.560 You know what I will do sometimes I can share this, 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:14.800 So I will do sometimes if I hear something awful 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:18.240 in the news, some horrible story in the news, I 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:21.920 will imagine myself as a superhero stopping that from happening. 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:26.400 I know that's weird and childlike, but I will imagine 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:28.360 that I have the ability to stop that person from 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:30.560 getting killed or attacked or robbed or whatever it is. 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:34.120 Anything that really affects me, I will imagine myself stopping it. 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:36.400 From happening and that helps me drift off to sleep. 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:40.959 Oh huh, I don't know how to react to it. 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:46.040 I think it's great because I'm trying to put myself 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:48.520 in that where I'm watching the news because I I 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:51.800 have a hard time watching the local news everything. And 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:55.840 I understand that we live in a very difficult world today, 0:08:55.880 --> 0:09:02.480 but everything is car crash, uh, you know, entencing, um murder, 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:07.000 h a van or kidnapped or whatever it is. Yeah, 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:08.280 And I'm like, I get it. We live in a 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:11.080 dark world, and I'm I want to be aware of 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:14.000 what's happening in my surroundings, but at the same time, 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:16.400 it just weighs on you. So that's an interesting technique 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:18.959 that I'm actually going to try to watch the news 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:23.319 and then I'm gonna imagine myself as a superhero, which 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:25.960 I do all the time anyway, and I'm gonna imagine 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:29.240 myself stopping that crime and see if it helps, because 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:30.760 I'm always looking for techniques to get out of my 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:34.960 own head regrets. Um, So, Vanessa, you actually said something 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:37.880 that I was perked my ears. You said that you 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.160 did a list of the things that you were ashamed 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:42.560 of over the past year. I was just reading it here. 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:45.679 It is very interesting. Did you write this? Where did 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:52.120 you get the list? It's on her Instagram. Oh, it's 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:54.400 not that you know, this looks like it looks to 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:55.880 me like if I had to guess, would like, oh, 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.719 she took this from Motivational Speaker's website or something like that. 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.800 This is very well written, right, so, so obviously you're 0:10:02.440 --> 0:10:04.360 you wanted to share it, so I don't have to 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:07.160 ask that question. What are some of the things, Vanessa, 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:11.240 What are some of the things that you put on there? Um? So, 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:14.160 which is so interesting. So I came up with this 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:18.280 concept yesterday. I wanted to start my new year, the 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:21.400 year thirty thirty two, on a clean slate, and I 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:25.960 wanted to not go into year thirty two with having 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:29.400 anxiety over certain things that have happened in the last 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:33.760 year or throughout the years, um that could creep up 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:36.520 and make me kind of feel derailed in my thoughts 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:39.679 and in my purpose. And so, I mean, there's nothing 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:44.040 really specific. I think it's just you know, at times 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:48.120 I could feel down, um, and sometimes I feel like 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:52.640 maybe I can't share that I'm gonna start crying. No, Well, 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:54.200 take a breath, if you want you don't. We don't 0:10:54.200 --> 0:10:56.600 have to talk about this if you don't want to. No, No, 0:10:56.679 --> 0:11:01.559 it's fine. Um, and it's all good. I think sometimes, UM, 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:06.840 there's this level of pressure that we put on ourselves 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:10.240 where if we don't achieve certain things, or if we 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.680 put a timeline on certain things and we don't get there, 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:20.280 how about I read some of this because she wrote 0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:22.160 last day as a thirty one year old and reflecting 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.320 on life this past year and years leading up to this, 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:27.040 I've realized a lot. I know I'm not perfect, and 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:28.920 I don't strive to be, but I want to keep 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.240 being a better person. I forgive myself for allowing my 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.800 insecurities to get the best of me, and for comparing 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:38.240 myself to others. Boy, we've all done that. I forgive 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:41.680 myself for allowing my jealousy to cloud my judgment at times. 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:45.160 I forgive myself for doubting who I am, my purpose, 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:48.760 and my worth. I forgive myself for not being compassionate 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:52.040 with myself when I was feeling down. I forgive myself 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:55.079 for being selfish at times and not prioritizing friends and family. 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:58.480 I forgive myself. I'm not perfect. I don't strive to be. 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:00.840 But I want to keep growing to becoming a better 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.640 person with age, a person with more compassion, more love, 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:08.079 more forgiveness, more empathy, more understanding. Thank you your thirty one, 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:11.560 thirty two. I'm ready for you. That's so sweet, really 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.800 well written, very well written, very well spoken, Videssa. I 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:18.120 also want to defend myself. I saw that when you 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:19.640 said a list, I thought it was going to be 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.319 a specific list of like I'm ashamed of this that 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:26.520 that that's I was like, oh okay, and the best general. 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:29.079 I gave a general and then the best part is 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.079 at the end, top and Scarfe Hudson Bay. So there 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:33.880 you go. That's all in there. I thought it was 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:40.120 gonna be a list, like on June, I didn't help 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:44.280 an old lady across the street on the shamed of myself. Ah, 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:49.040 that's hilarious, that's so funny. So um, I keep talking 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:51.200 about the Jewish faith just because I learned so much 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:55.320 about it yesterday and because I put this post up yesterday. Um. 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:59.360 We also had Rossia shown at dinner at my boyfriend's house, 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.240 and his mother was explained to me what the new 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:04.560 year symbolizes and for them they have like an apple 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.400 and a piece of bread with honey on it to 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:09.240 have a sweet new year and to start off the 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:12.560 new year's sweet um. And they also have between between 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:16.559 Russiatown and Young Kidpor they have a week where people 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:18.199 that they have to make or they want to make 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.080 amends to. That's their time to make amends to those people, 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:23.880 apologize for certain things you may have done or said 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:26.360 if you I think you may have hurt them, that's 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:30.160 your week to make her amends and to start your 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:32.680 your year on a fresh start, on a fresh note. 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:34.000 And I'm like, wow, that's kind of like what I 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:38.079 did with myself yesterday. I made amends with myself yesterday, 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.960 so I can feel like it can start fresh. And 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:44.640 you know, I just had this feeling when I was 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:46.680 thinking of what do I want in my my year 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:48.800 thirty two? What do I want? And for me, I 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.360 don't want the money, I don't want the fame. I 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:53.640 you know, there's a lot of darkness that can come 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:56.199 with all that stuff. I just want to have purpose 0:13:56.320 --> 0:14:02.600 again and feel refueled in my being and why I'm 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:04.959 why I'm on earth. So that's what I want to 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:08.959 focus on for your thirty two. I'm sorry, no, please, 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:11.600 I would have got I got a little emotional reading 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:15.079 it too. It's not even my post or my birthday, UM, 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:19.920 But I think Vanessa, you're an incredible person who I 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.800 understand why you feel like you would want a fresh start, 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:26.120 but you really don't, because even in your year thirty 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:28.520 one on this earth, you've done so many incredible things, 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.720 and you're always sweet and kind and generous, and you 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.760 always bring a positive attitude to this podcast that you 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:37.520 you you don't need a fresh start. I I totally 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:39.800 understand where you're coming from, and I love your attitude 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:41.560 towards it, but as a friend, I just want you 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:45.160 to know that it's it's there's nothing that you ever 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:49.280 need to be quote ashamed of. We're all vain and 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:54.080 selfish at times, and I I can count numerous times 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.800 throughout the past hour how many times I've been selfish, um, 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:01.080 and you are one of the most kind people I've 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:05.520 ever met, Vanessa. So happy birthday to you, and I 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:07.720 hope it's a great one. So you have dinner? Do 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:09.720 you have you have any more plans? You have dinner 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:13.720 at your boyfriend's um parents house last night and then 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:18.160 and tonight I will be spending time with my family. Um, yeah, 0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:20.200 what are you guys going out to? You eating in 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:23.920 your feel like you guys are cooking. Well, so my 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:25.400 mom was like, well, I want to get you a cake. 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.200 And I'm so simple and like, I don't know if 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:30.240 you guys have this brand in the States McCain. It's 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:33.440 basically frozen cake that you can buy at the grocery store. 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:35.680 It's my favorite. It's like five dollars. And she's like, oh, 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.120 I'm not gonna get you McCaine cake. I'm like, yeah, 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:39.960 that's literally all I want. It's like it tastes like 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:41.640 a McDonald's cake. When you were a kid and you 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:46.680 had birthday parties at McDonald's. Ronald McDonald's thing. I never remember. 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:50.720 I remember what is this McDonald's cake you speak of. 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.160 You've never had a McDonald's cake. No, I've had a 0:15:54.200 --> 0:16:01.240 mcflorian my time. Okay, Jared, w's your birthday November McDonald's 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:05.080 cake for your birthday? No? Actually yes, please? What are 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:07.240 you going to send it from Canada? I'm confused. I 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:09.120 I can. I can go to the local McDonald's and 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:12.480 get it. I will, because how about this on my birthday? 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:15.000 The week of the podcast. I'll bring in a McDonald's 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:17.480 cake if this thing does exist. I've never heard of 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:21.640 a McDonald's cake. Maybe that's a Canadian thing too. Oh wow, 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.280 we have something in Canada. The States doesn't happ we don't. 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:27.280 I look them up here. They look great, deep and delicious. 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:29.640 But I've never seen these before. So cakes in universal 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:35.480 healthcare the two things that can have. I do have 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:39.440 a question. Hello Tory ladies in jail. I enjoy the 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:44.480 podcast over here. Hi, happy birthdayby well, I want to know. 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.600 I feel like the Grimaldi's have a good birthday tradition, 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:49.640 like what do you what do you guys do? So 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.280 my sister is born on my brother's born September seven, 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.920 My sister is born September eight. I'm born September. So 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.640 we usually celebrate all of our birthdays. Like I kind 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:01.600 of sell lebrated with them for their birthday and they're 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:03.480 going to be celebrating with me. But we always get 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:05.880 together with my grandparents on Sunday, and for me, that's 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:08.720 the most sacred time of the week. Um, so we're 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:11.240 we just all all fourteen of us are going to 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:14.080 get together on Sunday. This Sunday, coming up and we're 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:19.560 gonna have my grandmother's famous homemade cake. What flavor cake 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:23.399 is this? It's like six layers of chocolate cake, and 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:27.520 in between she puts this like cream. It's a moose, 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:31.240 but it has it has chocolate and coffee flavor in it. 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:36.120 That sounds delicious, my two favorite flavors. It is so good. 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:37.760 And that's the only thing I asked Bright and like, 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:40.480 don't buy me presents, just get me that cake. It's fantastic. 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:42.520 We also learned that your parents really like to get frisky. 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:48.640 You're on the holidays, I know, all right, Mark doing 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:53.320 some quick there. I think there's a high number of 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:55.520 people who are born in September because it is the 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:59.760 most populous month for birthdays. Yeah, you know, it's the holidays. 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:03.560 If Ellen and love you staying inside, you're cozy by 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:06.800 the fire. September nine, there's the most common birthday in America, 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.440 and September is the busiest month for births overall. I'm 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:11.439 telling you it's Christmas and New Years. Jared's is going 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:16.400 to be January because that's Super Bowl February and half 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:20.080 super Bowl baby to February, and that's when my kid 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.920 will be born. And that's it's so crazy because I 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:24.840 messed with Jared and Ashley. I had a dream that 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:27.080 you guys had a baby and named her Marie, but 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:29.960 it was you had three I remember, it was like 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:31.840 three names. The first name was Marie, and then you 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:34.480 gave two other two other middle names, and then was 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.760 your last name. Yeah, Marie Tom Brady Hayden was the 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:43.000 proper name right there. Um, that will definitely be the 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:45.560 name of my kid as long as Ashley approves. But 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:48.480 we have a very special guest coming up next. But 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:53.480 before we get there, we're gonna take a little break. 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:56.960 Hiring can be a challenge, and I know this because 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.480 right now I'm looking to expand my team for my 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:03.600 nonprofit it and as Quotable co founder Gretchen Heatner discovered 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:06.440 she needed to hire a game artist for her education 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:08.720 tech company, she knew it wasn't going to be easy 0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:11.160 to find someone to grow her team, and that's why 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:14.480 she went to zip recruiter dot com. Zip recruiter doesn't 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:18.000 depend on Canada's finding you. They find them for you, 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:21.280 Yes they do. It's technology identifies people with the right 0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:24.959 experience and invites them to apply to your job, so 0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:29.000 you get qualified candidates fast. Now, Gretchen posted her job 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.920 on zip recruiter, and she said she was so impressed 0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:35.960 with how quickly she found qualified applicants, she's recommending it 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:40.160 to everybody. So she also us zip recruiter screening questions 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:42.800 to filter her candidates so she could focus on the 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:46.000 best ones. And that's how Gretchen found a new game artist. 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:50.639 Get this in less than two weeks. Two weeks. Good lord, 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:54.120 that's that's really quick. I mean, that's really qulin. Something 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:56.520 I do faster than in two weeks. I can't I 0:19:56.600 --> 0:20:02.040 take longer vacations. I don't know. Well, with results like that, 0:20:02.160 --> 0:20:05.200 it's no wonder. Four out of five employers who post 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:08.080 on zip recruiter get a quality candidate through the site 0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:11.680 within the first day. See why zip recruiter is effective 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:15.200 for businesses of all sizes. Try zip recruiter for free 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:19.159 at zip recruiter dot com, slash date that's zip recruiter 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:22.720 dot com, slash d A t E that's zip recruiter 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:26.800 dot com, slash date, zip recruiter the Smartest way to hire. 0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:33.400 Welcome back to help I suck at dating on the line. 0:20:33.480 --> 0:20:36.200 Right now, we have the executive producer of the brand 0:20:36.200 --> 0:20:39.600 new Hallmark movie Matchmaker Mysteries A Killer Engagement, which is 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:43.880 premiering this Sunday, October six on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:49.440 Patty Stanger, thank you so much, Patty. How are you good? 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:51.640 How are you? I'm doing well. You're in the line 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:54.400 with myself and Vanessa and we are very excited about 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:57.960 your brand new movie that you have a character based 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:02.280 about you. Yeah, I do well. Kind of like me. 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:07.480 I'd say it's a little more Hallmark Matchmaker Matchmaker. Okay, 0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:09.760 that's fair enough. I saw the trailer for it. And 0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:15.280 so Danika McKellar plays a character Annie Dove, who is 0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:20.320 pretty much Angie Angie Dove. Um, I can't read. It's 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:22.080 right in front of me. I'm I'm a terrible reader. 0:21:23.200 --> 0:21:26.239 And um. And so she plays a character that's a 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:29.600 matchmaker but also pretty much solving a murder mystery. It 0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:33.560 appears right, and that character is based on you. So 0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:35.400 did you sit down to Anika and be like, hey, 0:21:35.400 --> 0:21:37.760 listen to Anka. This is what you should be doing, 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:39.600