1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Dakota, your favorite 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Okay story Time hosts, and we've got some great stories 3 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: coming up. 4 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick too minute break 5 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show running. I told 6 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 2: my girlfriend she doesn't have a real job. Now I 7 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 2: only have myself to blame. 8 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, probably for being single. 9 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 2: I would imagine my thirty female girlfriend twenty seven female 10 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 2: and I both work in finance. How does she not 11 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,960 Speaker 2: have a real job if you both work in fune? 12 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,479 Speaker 3: Oh no, no, we're getting that. She probably used to 13 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 3: work in finance. 14 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,560 Speaker 2: Well sort of. We met in college and both graduated 15 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 2: together four years ago. By the way, this comes from 16 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 2: throw am on the a whole account, And if you 17 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 2: want to smit your old stories, go to the r 18 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime, supared it. 19 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're. 20 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 2: Here to give good advice. Goofy. But we don't have 21 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So 22 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments. 23 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: Here's my answer. Every job in finance is fake. 24 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 2: And let's see what ops to say about that. In 25 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 2: twenty seventeen. We both earned a bachelor's in accounting in finance. 26 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,959 Speaker 2: I decided to study for my CPA exam right after graduating, 27 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 2: and she decided to go work a low level accounting 28 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 2: job at a construction company, earning thirty five thousand dollars 29 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 2: per year. I wasn't happy with their decision to do this, 30 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 2: but I know she has never been quite as driven 31 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 2: as me. Fast forward to today, I work at one 32 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 2: of the big four accounting firms, earning eighty nine thousand 33 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 2: dollars per year. I have worked long hours and put 34 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 2: my all into this position. My girlfriend is still at 35 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 2: the construction company, but has kind of worked her way 36 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 2: up and earned sixty thousand dollars annually. I don't really 37 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 2: understand her job position. 38 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: Wait, and we just kind of worked her way up 39 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 1: and basically doubled her income. 40 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 2: She doubled her income. You are you earn my fifteen 41 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 2: you know what, like nineteen thousand more than her. I 42 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 2: don't think that's a big enough gap for you to 43 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 2: be like you. 44 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 1: Don't have a real job, especially seeing as both of 45 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: your jobs are identical and you just work for different companies. 46 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 2: She manages accounts for different projects. It feels like you 47 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 2: just told us what our job position is. 48 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels like you actually completely understand. 49 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 2: Our main fight over the past four years has been 50 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 2: career choices. We went out with my colleagues about a 51 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,519 Speaker 2: month ago and just had drinks. One of them asked 52 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 2: what my girlfriend does for a living. I had had 53 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 2: a little bit too much to drink and instantly felt 54 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 2: mad and embarrassed. As she explained it, tim I said, 55 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 2: without thinking, Jay doesn't have a real job. My girlfriend 56 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:29,919 Speaker 2: laughed off and said, yeah, I get paid to take 57 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 2: naps all day. Her response made everyone at the table uneasy. 58 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:39,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. Right, here's the real issue here, and it's that 59 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: you work a much higher stress, high demand accounting job 60 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: than your girlfriend does, and you're mad that she doesn't 61 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: have to work as hard as you but still makes 62 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,359 Speaker 1: a decent amount of money. 63 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 2: Also, it's absolutely ridiculous that you tried to insult and 64 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 2: belittle your girlfriend and then she made a joke to 65 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 2: make the table less awkward, and then you have the 66 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:06,519 Speaker 2: audacity to say that her comment is what made everyone uneasy. 67 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 2: Maybe it was your comment dun't but maybe they were like, oh, wow, 68 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 2: that's really weird that OPI just made that comment against 69 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 2: his girlfriend. We decided a few years ago to each 70 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 2: put one thousand dollars per month into our savings for 71 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,959 Speaker 2: a future, which we've been doing religiously well. I checked 72 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: the account today and noticed she didn't put her one 73 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 2: thousand dollars this month in. I confronted her about this, 74 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 2: and she says she's putting it into her project car instead. 75 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 2: Let me explain the car. I've been working a ton 76 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 2: of hours this time of year, and she's alone, quite 77 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 2: off and at the house. She decided to take up 78 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 2: a new hobby. She bought some early nineties car and 79 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 2: has been putting every dime into it to make it 80 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 2: a race car. I think, dude, do you listen to 81 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 2: anything your girlfriend does. She's like, it feels like you 82 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 2: don't know anything about her. She just bought some fuel 83 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 2: system electronic thing that was like twelve hundred dollars. We're 84 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 2: not on the same page anymore about our life goals 85 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 2: and aspirations. I don't even have room to park my 86 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 2: vehicle in the garage anymore. I don't think a luxury 87 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 2: vehicle should be parked on the curb. She's a thousand 88 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 2: dollars behind schedule. For a loud, trashy car and I 89 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 2: cannot deal. I asked today if we even share the 90 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,599 Speaker 2: same goals anymore. She said she's not sure, and that 91 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 2: I was real ale when we were out with my colleagues. 92 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 2: Thank you, and she's like, I don't know, you kind 93 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,159 Speaker 2: of suck. She says, I don't. 94 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 1: Respect her a little bit, look a little bit. 95 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 2: I told her that's not true. I just know she's 96 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 2: smart and capable of more than a dusty forty hour 97 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 2: per week job. She says she's happy there and plans 98 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 2: to stay in that industry if we move to the coast. 99 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 2: I don't know what to do. I asked her if 100 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 2: she was cool with me posting on here, and she 101 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 2: said she didn't care. Am I the ale for telling 102 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 2: my girlfriend of five years that she doesn't have a 103 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 2: real job in front of my well established colleagues. Huh, 104 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 2: yeah you are. 105 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,919 Speaker 1: You've got to know the answer to that. Yeah, you 106 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 1: have to. 107 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,679 Speaker 2: You're big time the Ahle. I have no other comments 108 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,040 Speaker 2: for you, your big time the ahle. But we got 109 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 2: an edit. I am neurotypical. I have been diagnosed with 110 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,919 Speaker 2: the depression as well. Stacy said she's been unhappy for 111 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 2: a while and is planning to leave once the pandemic 112 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 2: is over. I think she's going to take her funds. 113 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 2: I'm crushed, and not a single comment made anything better. No, 114 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 2: still one of your comments meant anything better. You don't 115 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 2: tell me I was right or anything. 116 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,159 Speaker 1: I love how that goes. I think she's going to 117 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 1: take her funds. Yeah, she is going to take her money. 118 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? 119 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 2: She doesn't understand how hard it's been for me to 120 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 2: get where I am. She said, your coworkers are snobs 121 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 2: like you. I am not a snob. I am keeping 122 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 2: up with a lifestyle because I don't want to be 123 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 2: a broke artist like all of her friends. This is 124 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,919 Speaker 2: devastating and goes to show how prejudiced people on the 125 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 2: internet can be. 126 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 3: Holy moly, you you're attacking everyone you You just can't 127 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 3: take it. You can dish it out, but you can't 128 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 3: take it. 129 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 2: Oh wait, I'm edit to says I meant that I'm 130 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 2: not neurotypical. 131 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 3: What what? 132 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: Uh? 133 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 2: She says, I am neurotypical, but then later she says, oops, 134 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 2: I meant to say I am not neurotypical, but that 135 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 2: has never stood in the way of anything for me. 136 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,280 Speaker 2: I did not immediately get into audit right away. I 137 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 2: have been auditing for two years. I feel that eighty 138 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 2: nine k is very substantial. No raise this year due 139 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 2: to the VID All right. 140 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:29,720 Speaker 1: Well, I mean eighty nine k is nothing to shake 141 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: his stick at. But like, hey, wake up, newsflash, there's 142 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: people who make way more money than you. So now 143 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 1: what does that make your entire worldview like crumble around you? 144 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,239 Speaker 3: Opie's the type of person if like they see someone 145 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 3: happy and not like swimming in money, they're like, m 146 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 3: They're not happy, They're lying. 147 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 2: I planted to earned six figures this Yeah, I could 148 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,799 Speaker 2: easily leave this job and make one hundred and twenty 149 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 2: five k in finance management at any large hospital, tech company, 150 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 2: et cetera. I choose to stay because the wealth is 151 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 2: coming and it's coming soon. Stacy has only once in 152 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 2: the past few years had an issue with me being 153 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 2: driven to succeed and rejecting the casual lifestyle. I refuse 154 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 2: to help her hitch a trailer and drive two hours 155 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 2: to pick up a jet ski. I don't exaggerate when 156 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 2: I say we never fight. That is why this is 157 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 2: all such a blow to me. Final edit though, oh 158 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 2: boy and everyone's calling her in ale. I assume she 159 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 2: is not getting it. 160 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, the cherry on top. You don't like jet skis cool? 161 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: You wouldn't help you to get a. 162 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 2: Jet ski two hours for jet ski? 163 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 1: Come on, it sounds sick. 164 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 4: I see. 165 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 2: It was a mistake on my end to tell Stacy 166 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 2: she didn't have a real job, especially at the table 167 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 2: with colleagues. I didn't mean literally she didn't have a 168 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 2: real job. Yes, you did. 169 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: Say, did you just get back from the bonehead convention? 170 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:01,679 Speaker 2: Obviously she earns an income bonehead bone that this got. 171 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: To be one of the top bonehead posts of all time. 172 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 2: Obviously, she earns an income where she's able to pay 173 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 2: for half of our town home mortgage, owns a Ranger 174 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 2: and now Ford Fox Buddy project. She has always paid 175 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 2: for half of everything we own together. I never intended 176 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 2: to come across as her being a bum. 177 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 1: Bro' you're the bum. You you are the bum. You 178 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: don't have to have no money to be a bum. 179 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: You're a bum, dude. 180 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 2: That is not the case at all. The only thing 181 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 2: she does not contribute towards is my BMW. I forget 182 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 2: she's three years younger than me. Also, wait, wait, how 183 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 2: old is she again, I. 184 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 1: Think op's thirty and she's twenty seven. 185 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 2: That makes also a lot of sense she's earning, you know, 186 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:47,199 Speaker 2: like sixty at twenty seven, that's not that terrible. 187 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: You know, it's sixty Thousand's not that terrible pretty much anywhere. Yeah, 188 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 1: you're a butt. Look, I think the medium income in 189 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: the United States is somewhere around like fifty two to 190 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 1: fifty five thousand. That is the media based on everyone's income, 191 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 1: So that includes the people who make fifty billion dollars 192 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 1: a year, you know, Like so the actual real picture 193 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: of what the average income in America is is probably 194 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: somewhere closer to forty thousand dollars. So, yeah, you see, 195 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 1: sixty you can get by almost anywhere. 196 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,440 Speaker 2: When I met her in college, I knew she was 197 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 2: the one. She would tutor young kids on the spectrum. 198 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 2: She was their mentor. She has a big heart, she's beautiful. 199 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 2: I've always felt she was the conventionally attractive one out 200 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 2: of the two of us. I just lose focus. People 201 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 2: have went on and on commenting about how much sixty 202 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 2: K is per year. I just never moved on from 203 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 2: the summer after we graduated, I immediately started studying for 204 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 2: my exams, and she picked the first company that popped 205 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 2: up on indeed needing an account's payable person. Do you 206 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 2: know what that is? For six months, she just entered 207 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,959 Speaker 2: invoices into a system to be paid well. I was 208 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,439 Speaker 2: trying to become a CPA, trying to make a better 209 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 2: life for us. Then she took on their own of 210 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,959 Speaker 2: accounts receivable. She was basically a glorified money collector. It 211 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 2: was at that point she said she moved from AP 212 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 2: to AR to the po dunk company that I just 213 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 2: dot enough. I told her I didn't want to hear 214 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 2: any more about her position shifts within the company. I 215 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 2: realize now during those years of the company she progressed 216 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 2: up to a project account manager. I accompanied her to 217 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 2: some company picnic day last year and met a few 218 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 2: of her peers. Hard hats, cowboy boots. That is not us. 219 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 2: I think I focused too much on not wanting her 220 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 2: to be that person that I lost sight of the 221 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 2: fact that sixty K is actually a decent amount to 222 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 2: earn compared to the average person. You think that you're 223 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:41,959 Speaker 2: getting it like you think that people are going to 224 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,960 Speaker 2: be on your side because you're saying, oh, sixty I 225 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 2: understand now sixty K is actually a good thing to earn, 226 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 2: but you're still actively insulting so many people. I think 227 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 2: convincing her to stay will be difficult, but I have 228 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 2: to try. 229 00:10:55,440 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: I think you need to find just the version of you, 230 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: you know that that you want to date. You need 231 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 1: to find the person who makes three hundred thousand dollars 232 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: a year so that they can treat you the way 233 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: that you've been treating and thinking about your partner, and 234 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 1: then you will understand. I don't think you're you're gonna 235 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: understand until you experience it, clearly from the way that 236 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: you've responded to this, these like comments, Yeah, take a 237 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,560 Speaker 1: look in the mirror, dog, you are a snob. You're snob. 238 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 1: Snob by my knob. 239 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 2: Bro last at it. Okay, I'm done. Stacy's leaving me. 240 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 2: She refuses to listen to me and is heading somewhere 241 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 2: else for the night. She's revving up her step at 242 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 2: Kara's as speake, The Beca and Stacy future is never happening. 243 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my gosh, oh no, nuts not Beca. The 244 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: worst person I've heard today. 245 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 2: I have wasted five years of my life on someone 246 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 2: who is not right for me. Internet, you when maybe 247 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 2: shall find some construction worker more suitator. I'm done with 248 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 2: this post. One more thing so ridiculous. You people cannot 249 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,439 Speaker 2: simultaneously go off about how my ex earned so much 250 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 2: at sixty k will also going off about my eighty 251 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 2: nine okay is lowly and means nothing. 252 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 1: Get out, grab realize what you're saying. 253 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 3: Ah op, you're trying to fight the Internet. Good luck. 254 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: Ohpi's the kind of person who always has a hammer 255 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: on them so that they can smash every mirror that 256 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 1: they see so they never have to look themselves in it. 257 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. That was uh wow, just a so much story 258 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 2: about them not understanding like anything. Me me, me, I, I. 259 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 1: I wasted five years of my life. No, I'm pretty 260 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 1: sure Stacey wasted five years of her life not understanding 261 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: that you kind of suck. 262 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story and we're going 263 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,440 Speaker 5: on to the next one. 264 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: My girlfriend called me a manchild for being financially free, 265 00:12:59,160 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: so I end. 266 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 2: Up I just wanted to buy more Legos. 267 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 1: For the last three days, I twenty seven male, have 268 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: been thinking about the conversation I had with my girlfriend 269 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 1: thirty two female, and I don't know what to do. 270 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 1: I cannot tell this to my friends or my family 271 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: because they're not really fond of my girlfriend, and I 272 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: already know what they're going to say, and I need objectivity. 273 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 3: Already started Go to strong op. Yeah, you just don't 274 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 3: know guys by my friends and family aren't fond of 275 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:28,840 Speaker 3: my partner. 276 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 1: Everyone in my life who cares about me hates my girlfriend? 277 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:34,199 Speaker 1: What should I do? 278 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 2: What should I do? 279 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:35,959 Speaker 4: Do you think they're right? 280 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from us to throw away 281 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 1: five four six four. If you want to submit your 282 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. 283 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we are gonna 284 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 1: read this here story. Give some good advice, goofily. But 285 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: we don't have all the answers. We only know what 286 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 1: we know, So tell us all the stuff you know 287 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,320 Speaker 1: in the comments and Op says, I should begin with 288 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: giving a little bit of background information on what I 289 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 1: do about myself. After my freshman year of high school, 290 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 1: I was sent to live with my grandfather's brother, who 291 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: had recently been diagnosed with stage five chronic kidney disease. 292 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: My uncles were living abroad what's her name. My parents 293 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:17,559 Speaker 1: were working and my grandmother was taking care of my grandfather, 294 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: who was constantly sick and was too emotional to look after. 295 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: My granduncle and I took the responsibility because he was 296 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 1: family and we take care of each other in my family. 297 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 1: My granduncle had lost his wife and son in a 298 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 1: car accident in the nineties and had been alone ever since, 299 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 1: although he used to come to family gatherings ow. He 300 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 1: worked as a crane operator in the Far East and 301 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: invested nearly all his money in our home country and 302 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 1: had a small fortune by the time he passed. I 303 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: stayed in the city he lived in where he and 304 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 1: his family used to live, and he refused to move 305 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: to our city despite our pleas during the rest of 306 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 1: my high school years, and studied college there. I grew 307 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 1: up so much there and I learned so much from him, 308 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 1: and he used to describe me to people by saying 309 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 1: he's like my son. After college, he urged me to 310 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: go back to the city my parents lived and start 311 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 1: my life there because there were far more opportunities there 312 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: and that he could find a nurse for himself. I 313 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: was twenty two at the time I moved back into 314 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: the city and into my own place. It's around this 315 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 1: time my girlfriend's mandatory service in the East as a 316 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: doctor neonatologist had ended and she returned back to the city. 317 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: We were first introduced in a housewarming party of a 318 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: mutual friend, and then we ran into each other in 319 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: a coffee shop and we've been inseparable ever since. I 320 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: started working as a translator for a TV network, as 321 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: a freelance writer for foreign news outlets, and I would 322 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 1: also give private lessons to elementary school students. One of 323 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: my uncles is child free and is against relationships, and 324 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: he would send me money every month. All in all, 325 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 1: I was in a very comfortable place financially. About a 326 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 1: year and a half into our relationship, my grand uncle 327 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 1: passed away and I inherited nearly all of his wealth, 328 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 1: including all his assets and most of his money, except 329 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: for a small amount he left for the nurse that 330 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 1: took care of him after I left. Later, I learned 331 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 1: that my uncles and my father advised him to do 332 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 1: so because they all trusted me to keep the family 333 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: comfortable and use the money smartly, and my uncle even 334 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: told me that I deserved it for being there for 335 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: him when he needed someone. I invested the money smartly 336 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 1: and rented most of the houses. I also kept my 337 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: job as a translator and a free agent writer, but 338 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: I stopped working as a private teacher. A friend of 339 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: mine wanted to move his textile business to a bigger 340 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: place and offered me to be his partner, which I 341 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: accepted in a heartbeat because it was a great opportunity. 342 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: I've been traveling and talking to our clients and making 343 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 1: the deals, and that's basically all I do. So I've 344 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 1: been working at most two to three hours a day 345 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: for the last two years, and I've been focusing on 346 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,400 Speaker 1: improving myself intellectually and physically, and I spend more time 347 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 1: with my family and friends. All in all, I make 348 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 1: more than three times that of my girlfriend. I thought 349 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,120 Speaker 1: she was happy with my life choices, and I thought 350 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 1: she had my back, but it turns out she really 351 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 1: despises my work life and wants me to get a 352 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: desk job somewhere other than my firm, because that would 353 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 1: not be fair. What it gets the same thing. It's 354 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 1: it's I work harder than you, why and you make 355 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 1: more than me? That's not fair. You have to work 356 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 1: harder than me? Why? 357 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 2: Would you want your partner to have a harder job, Like, 358 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 2: if you're able to afford everything you want to afford, 359 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,640 Speaker 2: why do you want your partner to suffer. 360 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:45,000 Speaker 1: Some people are just driven by perceived justice. Yeah, strange, 361 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 1: it's a perceived injustice. It needs to be fixed. She says, 362 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: I need to be a responsible adult and show our 363 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,719 Speaker 1: future kids a proper work ethic. And she says I 364 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,439 Speaker 1: have been immature and a man child. I tried to 365 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,400 Speaker 1: reason with her that I was spending more time on 366 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: myself and I get to do things that I couldn't 367 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,720 Speaker 1: in the past, regarding reading, studying different topics, languages, and 368 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,919 Speaker 1: working out. I had an accident in the past, so 369 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,199 Speaker 1: I had to stop working out, But now that I 370 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,679 Speaker 1: have the time, I want to do that. When I 371 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 1: told her this, she told me that muscles don't make 372 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 1: me a man and told me to either man up 373 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 1: and find a real job or she's leaving me. 374 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 3: Please let her wait. 375 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,920 Speaker 2: Let her go. What that's so weird? Like, you're actively 376 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 2: partnered in a business, you have a job, and also 377 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,639 Speaker 2: you have enough money to not need any of that, 378 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:42,199 Speaker 2: and she's still upset. Bye, don't let the door hit 379 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 2: you on the way out slam. 380 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,200 Speaker 1: I would be asking, like, what is this really about? 381 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 1: And if it's really just about this, I'd go, oh, okay, 382 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 1: I guess you're leaving me? Yeah? Please do You're leaving 383 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 1: me because my work situation is too comfortable. 384 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 2: It's too good, Yah, too good? 385 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,359 Speaker 3: My girlfriend not too good. 386 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,000 Speaker 1: I really don't want to find a nine to five 387 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,879 Speaker 1: desk job. I didn't want to do that even before 388 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 1: I got my inheritance. That's why I was working from 389 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: home as a translator and writer. I don't want to 390 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 1: break up with her because I love this woman so 391 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,440 Speaker 1: much and I look up to her and admire her. 392 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 1: I cannot talk this out with any of my family members, 393 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 1: as they all still hold a grudge against her for 394 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,640 Speaker 1: a thing that happened three years ago, and my friends 395 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 1: are I sense not fond of her either. 396 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 2: Dude, If everyone in your life has an issue with her, 397 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 2: maybe the issue is her. 398 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 1: What did she do three years ago? Dude? 399 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? 400 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,879 Speaker 1: TuS did she do? She do? 401 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,240 Speaker 2: It was probably pretty bad. 402 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: They don't know what she means to me. I don't 403 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: know what to do anymore. How do I navigate through this? 404 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: I tried talking to her again, but she straight up 405 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,719 Speaker 1: told me to give her an answer, and she's been 406 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 1: giving me the silent treatment. Please help. 407 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,160 Speaker 2: We've helped as much as we can. 408 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,400 Speaker 1: Silent treatment is instantaneous breakup. 409 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, we've helped as much as we can. 410 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 1: If you're silent treating, look, and if you're gonna silent 411 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: treat me over something that's you're probably not. That's nonsense. Okay, 412 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 1: I can live with that. If you're gonna silent treat 413 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:17,520 Speaker 1: me over a legitimate disagreement, that like heavily impacts are 414 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: a relationship in our future, and that's that's all you've 415 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 1: told me all I need to know. 416 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 2: Goodbye, So long, farewell we have an update. 417 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,959 Speaker 1: I first tried looking at things from her perspective and 418 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: how my inheritance and fortune may have affected her. I 419 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,159 Speaker 1: don't really have a luxurious life. I live in a 420 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 1: small apartment and I don't even have a car. I 421 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 1: use public transportation. But I realized that I am more 422 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 1: than lucky to be in this position. And since she 423 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,439 Speaker 1: has never seen me work, as I made sure to 424 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 1: focus on her when we're together, I decided to ask 425 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 1: her to come with me to my next business trip 426 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 1: so she may see me working. If not, then I 427 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 1: at the very least wanted her to take a day 428 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 1: off and just observe me. Overwhelming majority of the comments 429 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: were telling me to break up with her. I didn't 430 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,680 Speaker 1: want to break up, but I tried to prepare myself 431 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 1: for it. In short, I was hoping for the best, 432 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 1: I was prepared for the worst. She came to our 433 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,359 Speaker 1: apartment this afternoon as she was staying over at her 434 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: sister's house, and we sat down and started talking. Immediately, 435 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,000 Speaker 1: I said everything I mentioned above and proposed her that 436 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,880 Speaker 1: we can go to counseling. She told me that her 437 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,120 Speaker 1: going with me to a business trip would only strengthen 438 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,480 Speaker 1: her previous opinion and that she didn't think it was 439 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,880 Speaker 1: a good idea, and she said she was too tired 440 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 1: for counseling. 441 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 2: Dude, she doesn't even want to. I think she wants 442 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 2: out of this relationship. She's just looking for her an excuse. 443 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,960 Speaker 1: I told her that I wasn't going to throw away 444 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,199 Speaker 1: my life over an issue we could fix if we 445 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,239 Speaker 1: just tried to solve it. She then told me that 446 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 1: she was too tired to be with me, and she 447 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: was unhappy in our relationship, and that I was too 448 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: unpredictable and that she told me that if I ever 449 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,919 Speaker 1: decided to pursue another girl somewhere else, she wouldn't know 450 00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 1: it until I leave her. 451 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 3: For the girl girl? 452 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 2: What are you talking about? 453 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,120 Speaker 1: What does that mean? 454 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 2: What are you talking about? 455 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,639 Speaker 1: Told me that if I ever decided to pursue another 456 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 1: girl somewhere else. 457 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 2: She's saying, like, he is so unpredictable that if he 458 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 2: started cheating on her, she wouldn't know until like he 459 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 2: left her. 460 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 1: Or is she trying to say that she's so checked 461 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,200 Speaker 1: out and tired that she like wouldn't even care or 462 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 1: wouldn't even notice until until OPI left her? 463 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,439 Speaker 3: Or is she projecting? 464 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 2: What is she doing? Put in your comments? What you 465 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 2: think that she's doing. 466 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: I don't know. She's she's she's acting funny. Yeah, dude, 467 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 1: you'll be so much better off. 468 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, you definitely will. 469 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,480 Speaker 1: She's told you everything you need to hear. Now there's 470 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:45,360 Speaker 1: no there's nothing. 471 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,640 Speaker 3: There, and boy, oh boy, when that happens, all your 472 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 3: family members and friends. 473 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,119 Speaker 2: Finally, yeah, we always hated her. 474 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,679 Speaker 1: Do they're gonna be poping confetti, They're gonna be going, Yeah, 475 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,400 Speaker 1: it's gonna be a celebration. All of these were extremely 476 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 1: hard to hear for me. She then asked me one 477 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,439 Speaker 1: more time to settle down and find a new job, 478 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: and then we can take our relationship further. I told 479 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,639 Speaker 1: her I didn't want this, and that I thought it 480 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 1: would be best if we win our separate ways. This 481 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,399 Speaker 1: is not my first heartbreak, and I don't think it 482 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: will be the last. So I think I'm gonna manage 483 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 1: the breakup just fine. But there is this feeling inside 484 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,119 Speaker 1: me that I can't seem to shake off. Like I know, 485 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 1: I'm all right, but I just feel numb. My heart 486 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,119 Speaker 1: still pounds fast with what happened. But I am not 487 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 1: panicking or anything like that. She will return tomorrow to 488 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: get her things to go to her sister's house, and 489 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 1: I will go no contact after that. Yeah, well it's yeah, 490 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 1: of course you're you're gonna have a reaction to it. Yeah, 491 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:43,960 Speaker 1: your life is changing. 492 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 2: It's a big deal. You're breaking up with someone. It's 493 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,919 Speaker 2: always gonna be hard, even if you know it's the 494 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 2: right move to make. 495 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: Even if she's made it so viscerally clear that this 496 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,440 Speaker 1: is the only move, still's gonna suck. 497 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 2: Still sucks a little bit. 498 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,160 Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story, And we're going 499 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 5: on to the next one. 500 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,640 Speaker 2: My girlfriend confessed her affair then asked me to take 501 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 2: her back. 502 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 1: I say no. 503 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,480 Speaker 2: So I've thirty two male, been in a relationship with 504 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 2: my girlfriend, thirty two female for seven years now. We've 505 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,960 Speaker 2: had our ups and downs, and I've started to go 506 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 2: to couple's therapy and we're still going trying to figure 507 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,399 Speaker 2: out our relationship. By the way, this comes from Comquatinator 508 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,680 Speaker 2: and if you want to s make your own stories, 509 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime severed it. 510 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're. 511 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 2: Here to give good advice goofy. But we don't have 512 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So 513 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 2: let us don't you would do? In the comments and 514 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 2: Op says we're both at a point of our lives 515 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,200 Speaker 2: where we press the efit button and chase our dreams. 516 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 2: With that, there's been talk of her moving to London. 517 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 2: It's something that came up a few years ago and 518 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 2: we both thought maybe we try a long distance relationship 519 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 2: to see how we go when that time does come. Basically, 520 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 2: in November, she graduated UNI and gifted herself a little 521 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,959 Speaker 2: dance workshop in Africa for all her efforts and graduating 522 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 2: to which I've been there in some of the hardest times. 523 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 2: She left for the camp December, and I went to 524 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 2: go meet her there in January, and we had a 525 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:16,240 Speaker 2: lovely time and everything was okay, but things did feel 526 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 2: a bit off the usual things, someone constantly calling her phone, 527 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:25,960 Speaker 2: walking off to ab chats, shady with messaging. I also 528 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,639 Speaker 2: told her that this person was calling and she'd said 529 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 2: she'd call her back. To my surprise, I did some 530 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 2: digging and that her was actually a ham. I'll call 531 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 2: him Kevin for now. 532 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 1: Kevin. Yeah, So that's not the biggest red flag I've 533 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,679 Speaker 1: ever seen, right, Yep. 534 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 2: She's been pretty open with her travels and about how 535 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 2: some men did try and hit on her, So with 536 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:52,399 Speaker 2: that transparency, I didn't think much of it. Fast forward 537 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 2: to March and she ended up flying back out there. 538 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,439 Speaker 2: She got some gramp funding for work. My alarm bells 539 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 2: weren't ringing, but I had a feeling something might be 540 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 2: happening while she was there. We tried to keep in contact, 541 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 2: so my guard was lowered for that. She came back 542 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 2: different and somewhat disappointed, as she had a very underwhelming experience. 543 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,840 Speaker 2: She felt lonely and somewhat mothering to some of her 544 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 2: friends she made there. This morning, we woke up and 545 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 2: she went to the toilet and I turned her phone 546 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 2: alarm off, to which I saw the message from Kevin 547 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,400 Speaker 2: saying how much he loved and missed her. 548 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:31,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's gonna be a big ah from me. 549 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,520 Speaker 2: What is again? The alarm bells went off. Not my 550 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,359 Speaker 2: proudest moment, but I needed some clarity because of this 551 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 2: feeling of betrayal, a feeling I've had before with a 552 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 2: previous girlfriend who slept with a dear friend of mine. Well, 553 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 2: probably not so dear anymore. So I went to her 554 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 2: laptop while she was out, and I saw these messages. 555 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 2: I mean, at that point you had reasonable cause, you know, 556 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 2: because the reason I said don't look through people's stuff 557 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 2: is because if you're wrong, you're really wrong. But you 558 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 2: already knew you were right. 559 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, you had all the evidence you needed. 560 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 2: A lot of messages and pictures between the two of 561 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 2: their love and their long distance relationship. The funny thing 562 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,080 Speaker 2: is she found out Kevin has a wife and a daughter, 563 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 2: and one of Kevin's replies were about how he was 564 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 2: mad at her for asking his friends if he was 565 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 2: seeing other women, and how when she was there she 566 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 2: felt like an afterthought as he didn't show up to things, 567 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 2: give her attention or care that she was there. Crazy 568 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 2: for her to be upset that this guy that she's 569 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,879 Speaker 2: cheating with isn't giving her his sole attention. 570 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 3: While there's so much there's so much fad ass. 571 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't that crazy? Or is this really the right 572 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: way to do it? It's so crazy, it's frying all 573 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:48,679 Speaker 1: of my brains out. 574 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 2: So crazy. It just might work, which now makes sense 575 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 2: why she felt lonely both times. She came back with thrush, 576 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 2: which was a bit of a red flag, as well 577 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 2: as straight away told me to put on protection as 578 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,159 Speaker 2: she was getting surgery for a coil, which was another flag, 579 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 2: as I guess she didn't want to give me an 580 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,200 Speaker 2: STI I suppose I now have screenshots of the messages, 581 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 2: so I'm fairly certain about what I saw. I feel hurt, confused, 582 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,520 Speaker 2: and unsure how to best to approach this conversation with her. 583 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 2: Part of me wants to understand what happened before jumping 584 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 2: to conclusions, but I'm also struggling with a sense of betrayal. 585 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 2: How would you suggest navigating this situation? Has anyone dealt 586 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,920 Speaker 2: with something similar? And what approach helped you communicate effectively 587 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,720 Speaker 2: while still respecting your own boundaries? 588 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 4: Edit? 589 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 2: Thank you for all the comments. Sorry for the slow reply. 590 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 2: First off, I guess I didn't explain myself too well here. 591 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 2: I know I'm going to leave her, knowing that I 592 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 2: can never trust her again, as well as her lying 593 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 2: to my face reassuring that nothing ever happened in her 594 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:47,840 Speaker 2: time in Africa is a no go for me. 595 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. I was gonna say something along the lines of 596 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:55,920 Speaker 1: will you leave? Step one and step two leave? I 597 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,040 Speaker 1: guess they don't come back. 598 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 3: I guess they didn't blest the reins in Africa when 599 00:28:59,240 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 3: she was there. 600 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: Leaven never the rains were full of thrush when she 601 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:03,760 Speaker 1: was there. 602 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,320 Speaker 3: I thrush the rains, Sina. 603 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 2: She knew about my past relationship and my feelings on this, 604 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 2: so I knew the moment I read these messages, it 605 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 2: confirmed everything and I know I have to leave. I 606 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 2: guess the advice I was wanting was to figure out 607 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 2: how to end this all. I guess I need help 608 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 2: with Alan. When should I bring this up? Now? Do 609 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 2: I tell her I went through her phone after having 610 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,840 Speaker 2: the same feeling I had in my previous relationship. Nah, 611 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 2: you know, I think I don't think you need too. 612 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,040 Speaker 2: You just say, hey, you're cheating on me. 613 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: Hey, you didn't even you went through her phone because 614 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 1: you saw a man named Kevin texted her I love 615 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 1: you and miss you so much after she got back 616 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 1: from Africa. 617 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you could literally just say, hey, I 618 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 2: you know, saw it on your phone home screen that 619 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 2: someone texted this. Do I tell her? One of her 620 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 2: African friends messaged me privately and said all this to me. 621 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 2: When should I bring this up now tonight? Or should 622 00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 2: I wait until Thursday? As we have therapy? What are 623 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 2: you bringing up your therapy? 624 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 1: Yeah? 625 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 3: Your therapist is gonna love that. 626 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 1: We have a. 627 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 2: Complex friendship group as I'm really close with her brother 628 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 2: and family, so I don't necessarily want to ruin my 629 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 2: friendship with her brother. It dude, Unless her brother hates her, 630 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 2: your friendship with his their brother is over. 631 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:16,800 Speaker 3: You're not gonna ruin anything she ruined it. 632 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 2: Should I tell her family what she did via message? 633 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 2: Should I post this announcement on Igen? 634 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 1: No? 635 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 2: What? It just keeps getting worse he's spiraling. 636 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, see, what do I do? I don't know 637 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 1: what I do? 638 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 3: Do I say no? How do I say no? 639 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 2: It might look bad on my part to announce this, 640 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 2: but I also don't want her to tarnish my name. 641 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 2: I don't think she would well with everything I've read 642 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 2: from her exchanges, I don't know what to think. So 643 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 2: I know she lives in my house, so yeah, she'll 644 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,160 Speaker 2: be out as soon as we have this difficult conversation. 645 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 2: I just want to make sure everything goes clean. I'm 646 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,120 Speaker 2: trying to be patient and take the necessary steps, like 647 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 2: the Count of Monte Cristo. 648 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 3: I don't think that's the bright one there. But okay, all. 649 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: Right, you try. 650 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,239 Speaker 3: Thing is about revenge, Yeah I know, I know, but 651 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 3: like man, I don't know. 652 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 1: Man, I don't even think you want revenge. Dog, you 653 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:07,720 Speaker 1: just need to move on. 654 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 2: Update four days later. As for things now, they're a 655 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,680 Speaker 2: lot better. Still barely sleeping, but I'm feeling more comfortable 656 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 2: with myself in my situation. I confronted her. She ran 657 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 2: to lie about knowing the guy, saying they were acquaintances. 658 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 2: To Oh, I've met him only a few times too, 659 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 2: We're just friends. We kissed I wasn't sure about us. 660 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 2: I thought he might be boyfriend material to finally, yes, 661 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 2: I did f him. 662 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,240 Speaker 3: She was going through all the stages there. That's crazy. 663 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,880 Speaker 2: Come on, we really had to drag it out of you. 664 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: What a really weak start too. She's like, Oh, the 665 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 1: guy who texted me that he loves me and misses me. 666 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,320 Speaker 1: I don't know who that is. The guy whose name 667 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 1: is saved in my phone. I don't know that guy. 668 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 2: That's my health insurance provider. They keep hitting me up. 669 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,840 Speaker 2: Took her a while to finally confess, but she finally did. 670 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 2: Not sure if it's the entire truth, but at least 671 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 2: there is an admission. I've punted her out of the 672 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,920 Speaker 2: house and she's staying with a friend. I've asked her 673 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 2: to get her stuff out in the next two weeks, 674 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 2: which she's slowly doing. I've messaged all the people that 675 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,480 Speaker 2: need to know, and holy eck, I'm feeling love by everyone. 676 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 2: Her family have reached out to me, and I to them, 677 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,520 Speaker 2: asking them to make sure to check it on her 678 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,760 Speaker 2: and take care of her, as I can no longer 679 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 2: do it for the sake of my own health and protection. 680 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 2: Her family have said they were sorry so it seems 681 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,360 Speaker 2: like she's being truthful there, but I'm interested to hear 682 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 2: what she says to her friends. I've told my friends 683 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 2: the honest truth, and they've showered me with love and 684 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,880 Speaker 2: hate for her of the enough, though, I don't feel 685 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 2: too much hate this time round, more sorry and sad 686 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 2: for her because of her actions. She's a lot worse 687 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 2: off now than where she was when we first met. 688 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 2: I do think she's a good person who's made some 689 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 2: bad decisions. She's been trying to call me, which I 690 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 2: haven't been picking up, and has been messaging me about 691 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 2: house related things, all peppered in with I feel like 692 00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 2: I'm missing a part of myself. I really miss you. 693 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 2: I know you shouldn't feel sorry for me, but et cetera. 694 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 2: Thursday were our couple's counseling days, and she messaged me 695 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 2: asking if I was going. No, because I'm no longer 696 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 2: a part of a couple. 697 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:15,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, A couple's counseling really only works when you're dating someone, 698 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,120 Speaker 1: and we're not dating. 699 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 2: Anymore, messaging it would be best for both of us 700 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 2: to go, but completely understand if you don't want to go. 701 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,200 Speaker 2: I'm thinking of skipping it, as I feel like it's 702 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,920 Speaker 2: too early to go see her, but would love to 703 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,960 Speaker 2: hear your thoughts. There's a little bit left to the story. 704 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,160 Speaker 2: But dude, what do you mean to think even, like, 705 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:32,880 Speaker 2: why is it even a consideration? 706 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,080 Speaker 1: I think Buddy might be in a little bit of shock. 707 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 1: I think you must be been four days. Buddy's in 708 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 1: a complete like. 709 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 3: It was seven day, seven years long distance, Like he's 710 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 3: holding onto any notion. His brain's still not changed. I'm 711 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 3: giving him some slack here. I get it, Like this 712 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,520 Speaker 3: guy's like his brain it's gonna take a couple months 713 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,680 Speaker 3: for him to really get clean of her. 714 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 2: So yeah, like the bit about him not being mad 715 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,520 Speaker 2: at her or like not hating her. I don't know. 716 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,520 Speaker 2: This might not be a universal thing, but I feel 717 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 2: like sometimes right after the breakup, you have this kind 718 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:16,680 Speaker 2: of sadness rather than anger, and then months later you're like, oh, 719 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,600 Speaker 2: you know, that person actually sucked, and so I feel 720 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,319 Speaker 2: like you're in the sadness. I still have a lot 721 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,359 Speaker 2: of love for I don't hate her, and then you're 722 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,840 Speaker 2: gonna get, you know, kind of out of that period 723 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 2: and be like, oh, wow, no, she actually did something 724 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:33,200 Speaker 2: really awful. But there's a little bit left to this story. 725 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,760 Speaker 2: She was my best friend for those seven almost eight years, 726 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,400 Speaker 2: so it's difficult to see her struggle and see this 727 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:43,279 Speaker 2: side of sadness, guilt and regret form. I do hope 728 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,040 Speaker 2: she gets better, but for the most part, I need 729 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,280 Speaker 2: to look after myself, stay busy with my creativity and work, 730 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 2: and keep in contact with my friends and family. Thanks 731 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,960 Speaker 2: again to all of you who commented or read this, 732 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 2: and if you have any advice on how to handle 733 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 2: these next steps, please let me know. And that's the 734 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:04,000 Speaker 2: end of that story, folks, And we've got another one. 735 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 2: Come right up. 736 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,920 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host. Here. 737 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,279 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three 738 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. My wife cut her 739 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: own spending to secretly help her sister and never told me. Why. 740 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 2: Please please, I want to know. 741 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 1: I am twenty nine male and my wife is twenty 742 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,640 Speaker 1: eight female. We have two kids, five and three, both boys, 743 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,759 Speaker 1: and are planning on having a third kid. I work 744 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 1: seventy to eighty hours on average, and my wife is 745 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,759 Speaker 1: a stay at home mom. I make really good money, 746 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 1: even for USA standards, and we live in Europe in 747 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 1: a country where cost of living is way lower. By 748 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 1: the way, this comes from user Ama die Hole Waiting Nanny, 749 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go 750 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,920 Speaker 1: to the r Slashowcase Storytime Subredday. I'm Dakota, Sophia, I'm Keon, 751 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,440 Speaker 1: and we are here to give good advice goofy. But 752 00:35:56,480 --> 00:36:00,280 Speaker 1: we don't know all of the answers all the time. 753 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,279 Speaker 1: We only know what we know, So tell us what 754 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 1: you know down in the comments. And Opie says, the 755 00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 1: argument me and my wife are having is that I 756 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,800 Speaker 1: keep telling my wife I don't have time to iron 757 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,480 Speaker 1: my clothes, et cetera. And she is a stay at 758 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 1: home mom and she should do it, but I know 759 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,759 Speaker 1: that having two kids makes her job as hard as mind. 760 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,719 Speaker 2: Why does anyone iron in your clothes needless? 761 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:21,759 Speaker 3: Is there a wrinkly Yeah, they got to be. 762 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,759 Speaker 2: I don't know, it's like pulld them better or hang them. 763 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:26,239 Speaker 1: Up, or you know what, just buy a new one 764 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 1: every day, or that you've got you've got all that money, 765 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,359 Speaker 1: buy a new wife, new shirt every day, new stay 766 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:32,560 Speaker 1: at home. 767 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,040 Speaker 2: I just think ironing is only a thing that you 768 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 2: do for fancy events where you need like. 769 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 1: A maybe every maybe every day is a fancy event. 770 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:46,400 Speaker 2: Maybe maybe he's a lawyer, well that he should be like, 771 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,840 Speaker 2: I don't know, he should be ironing his own stuff. 772 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 1: He's a professional, fancy man. 773 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,680 Speaker 2: If he's a lawyer, maybe he could afford to go 774 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 2: freaking dry clean that stuff. 775 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,000 Speaker 3: You know, Op, you're the ahle, Why aren't you iron man? 776 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,439 Speaker 1: I offered to get us a nanny or help for house, 777 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,479 Speaker 1: but it would mean both of our spending money would 778 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:06,040 Speaker 1: be cut by around ten to fifteen percent. I manage 779 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,040 Speaker 1: all of our finances and we get the same spending 780 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,240 Speaker 1: money after investing in saving. But my wife is angry 781 00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 1: that I would cut her spending money too. I don't 782 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 1: have time to do things around the house. I'm trying 783 00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,640 Speaker 1: to help my father retire since he's turning seventy next year, 784 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,160 Speaker 1: and he helped me a lot. He bought me my 785 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,400 Speaker 1: first apartment when I was a student, where my wife 786 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:30,080 Speaker 1: lived too during UNI. I don't help him financially. I 787 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:33,560 Speaker 1: am just slowly taking over his company as well. I 788 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,480 Speaker 1: have two brothers, but only one works there, and I 789 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,080 Speaker 1: am the only one qualified to actually take over according 790 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,360 Speaker 1: to my brothers, and that means I pretty much have 791 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 1: two jobs that's why I work so much. But it 792 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:47,000 Speaker 1: also means we have a lot of spending money, about 793 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:48,840 Speaker 1: six and a half to seven and a half thousand 794 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,200 Speaker 1: euros each month. 795 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,640 Speaker 2: Wait, and she's mad that you're gonna take ten percent 796 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:56,840 Speaker 2: of that away. So actually, I take it back. I 797 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:58,560 Speaker 2: don't think op he is the ahole anymore. 798 00:37:58,719 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 1: Oh, you're being serious. 799 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,879 Speaker 2: I know I never thought of he was day hole, 800 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,719 Speaker 2: but I don't. I certainly don't think GOPI is d Ale. Now. 801 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:10,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's plenty of free money. That's 802 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:11,040 Speaker 1: the free money. 803 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,520 Speaker 2: You're literally telling her that you will make her life 804 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,360 Speaker 2: easier for ten percent less of her spending money. I 805 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,759 Speaker 2: don't think she No one needs seven thousand dollars a 806 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 2: month to spend on fun things. 807 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:29,440 Speaker 1: Well, well, no one needs that. I need that, and 808 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,759 Speaker 1: you want that. I need that so I can buy 809 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,320 Speaker 1: Have you ever paid for a vacation every month? 810 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,959 Speaker 2: You're going on a seven thousand dollars vacation every month, 811 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:37,799 Speaker 2: seventeen black. 812 00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,319 Speaker 1: I need that. I need that. I need that to 813 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,560 Speaker 1: buy fifteen Lego but duers every month. 814 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,440 Speaker 2: I'm not saying that you can't spend seven thousand dollars 815 00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:50,400 Speaker 2: I want on something fun of it at some point, 816 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,960 Speaker 2: but having seven thousand dollars to spend every month is 817 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,520 Speaker 2: a luxury and she does not need that. If it 818 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,440 Speaker 2: makes everyone's life easier. 819 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:02,440 Speaker 1: That is one hundred percent true. Note that spending money 820 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,279 Speaker 1: is different than money for paying everything like groceries and 821 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,880 Speaker 1: things for the kids. We have separate accounts for that. 822 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:12,000 Speaker 1: My wife is really into designer brands, yeah that is obvious, 823 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,880 Speaker 1: and spends all of her money on clothes shopping. Usually 824 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,560 Speaker 1: she thinks I should only cut my own spending money 825 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,920 Speaker 1: if I want to hire nannies or help. I disagree 826 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,319 Speaker 1: and think we should both have our spending money cut. 827 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 1: I got a call for my sister in law and 828 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,840 Speaker 1: she said, I'm being controlling by wanting to cut my 829 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,959 Speaker 1: wife spending money. So I am starting to honestly doubt 830 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:37,399 Speaker 1: myself because I don't want to financially mistreat my. 831 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,760 Speaker 2: Wife, Gurley, and I'm in that non gendered way, Gurley, 832 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:48,000 Speaker 2: your wife is mistreating you like she's you know, benefiting, 833 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:51,160 Speaker 2: she's living this luxurious life. You are trying to make 834 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,160 Speaker 2: her again life easier. And then she's going to her 835 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,880 Speaker 2: sister and being like, I can't believe my husband's telling 836 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,840 Speaker 2: me that I'm not going to be able to afford 837 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:03,960 Speaker 2: six Gucci bags this month. Unbelievable. I can't buy a 838 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,479 Speaker 2: new Gucci bag every month. 839 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,440 Speaker 3: I can only do three. 840 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:11,759 Speaker 1: Let's assume that it's the low end of six and 841 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,640 Speaker 1: a half thousand euros, so ten to fifteen percent off 842 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,560 Speaker 1: the top of that. She's mad that she only gets 843 00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:23,680 Speaker 1: to spend around fifty seven fifty seven hundred euros per 844 00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:25,400 Speaker 1: month on whatever she. 845 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,640 Speaker 2: Wants per month she does. She is a stay at 846 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,480 Speaker 2: home mom, which is like a lot of work. I'm 847 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,960 Speaker 2: not discounting that. And then the nanny would maybe make 848 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,160 Speaker 2: that A little babies, the nanny would make it easier, 849 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 2: and she's complaining. 850 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,239 Speaker 1: Well, we've got an update, so I'm not gonna lie. 851 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,399 Speaker 1: This is a surprising update. I've taken a few days 852 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 1: off before Christmas with my wife so we can spend 853 00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 1: two days without the kids and family craziness. I had 854 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 1: a convo with one guy here in private, and I 855 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,239 Speaker 1: realized that my wife doesn't usually behave like this, so 856 00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:00,640 Speaker 1: I asked her about it. What's actually going on. It 857 00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,080 Speaker 1: turns out, for the past few months, my wife was 858 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 1: giving money to her sister to help her move out 859 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,000 Speaker 1: from her boyfriend, whom I never really liked. If I'm 860 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: gonna be honest and never knew why, Well, it turns 861 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,920 Speaker 1: out he is awful, and as it turns out, my 862 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,359 Speaker 1: sister in law is pregnant. I still am. Now this 863 00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:20,600 Speaker 1: is like a new issue. It is like, why would 864 00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:25,120 Speaker 1: you is sister in law is pregnant and she's been 865 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 1: sending money to her and her boyfriend is terrible. Oh, 866 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,800 Speaker 1: that's why she's upset that the money would be decreased. 867 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,560 Speaker 2: By insight, But like, why wouldn't you have brought that up? 868 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,600 Speaker 1: Exactly different issue? Now, what do you mean this is 869 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 1: going on and you said nothing to me? 870 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:42,800 Speaker 2: Why are you keeping that a secret? Why? It feels 871 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,279 Speaker 2: very schemey. It feels very slimy. It feels like that's 872 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:50,280 Speaker 2: not actually happening. It feels like sister in law called 873 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,799 Speaker 2: wife and said, hey, if we tell him this, he'll 874 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:54,960 Speaker 2: have to give you more money. 875 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:56,600 Speaker 1: Well, at least now I know why I had a 876 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,560 Speaker 1: bad feeling about him, other than him trying to borrow 877 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 1: money from me constantly. If you wonder why she didn't 878 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,520 Speaker 1: tell me this since obviously we have the means to 879 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,879 Speaker 1: help her, it's because I helped her sister in law 880 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 1: with some of her debt in the past, and I 881 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,759 Speaker 1: told her family I don't want to be used as 882 00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,200 Speaker 1: a piggy bank. I invested in my brother in law's 883 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,360 Speaker 1: plumbing business. My wife knew that this situation would be different, 884 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,760 Speaker 1: but her sister didn't want to ask me for money. 885 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,960 Speaker 1: Not sure where does her sister think my wife gets 886 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,799 Speaker 1: her money from, but I digress. I can say it 887 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:29,360 Speaker 1: here freely since my sister in law's boyfriend doesn't use Reddit, 888 00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:32,040 Speaker 1: and after what she told me about it, I've hired 889 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,160 Speaker 1: a PI and we have moved her to our house. 890 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,920 Speaker 1: She already had a room and we're going to help 891 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,680 Speaker 1: her with getting her own apartment in January. When it 892 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,120 Speaker 1: comes to the main topic, we are hiring some help 893 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,879 Speaker 1: and we're going to start looking into getting a nanny 894 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,320 Speaker 1: for the weekends. We changed some things in our budget 895 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,960 Speaker 1: since we're ahead in most of our goals. Also, some 896 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,319 Speaker 1: people had some things to say about my wife. Well, sure, 897 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,480 Speaker 1: it sounded ridiculous that my wife didn't want to lose 898 00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,960 Speaker 1: her designer clothes money and comments we're mostly I had 899 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,120 Speaker 1: some nasty private messages about my wife not deserving the 900 00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,680 Speaker 1: money she gets in her being a freeloader, et cetera. 901 00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,319 Speaker 1: Which can't really call her a freeloader. She's a stay 902 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:10,720 Speaker 1: at home mom raising two children. 903 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like that is a full time job. That's 904 00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:14,279 Speaker 2: not the issue here. 905 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was her decision to be a stay at 906 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,680 Speaker 1: home mom. But she also had a great future in 907 00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,520 Speaker 1: finance ahead of her, so she's not a slacker. One 908 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,520 Speaker 1: of the reasons I love her is how hard working 909 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,800 Speaker 1: she always was. She's also a great teacher to our child. 910 00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,080 Speaker 1: Our five year old is so ahead in math without 911 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,960 Speaker 1: her pressuring him hard. It's honestly amazing. I saw her 912 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,600 Speaker 1: teach him and make it fun, which I honestly didn't 913 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:42,560 Speaker 1: know she does because he enjoys it. Also, adding in 914 00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:45,279 Speaker 1: the last second here, I talked to my sister in law, 915 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,560 Speaker 1: and before I even mentioned it, she herself told me 916 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,800 Speaker 1: she is sorry about the financial mistreatment comment. She was 917 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,240 Speaker 1: just scared about the situation she's in, which is understandable, 918 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,000 Speaker 1: and that is the end of that story. Yeah, I 919 00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:59,240 Speaker 1: think we're in a good place. 920 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 2: I think we've all the truth has come out, which 921 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:03,759 Speaker 2: is good. We've got the sister in law help, which 922 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,359 Speaker 2: is good. That she was done in the truth. 923 00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, but still though you got it, you have to 924 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:10,440 Speaker 1: tell me the truth. 925 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,840 Speaker 2: You have to tell me we have helped and it 926 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:16,680 Speaker 2: wouldn't have had all this, like, you know, faffing around. 927 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, you just gotta tell me. You just gotta tell me. 928 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,120 Speaker 1: And then you have to accept if I'm going to 929 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,839 Speaker 1: disagree with you, because the rationale that I didn't tell 930 00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:29,240 Speaker 1: you because I was afraid you were gonna say no unacceptable. 931 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,760 Speaker 1: Because if I say no, you have to be able 932 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:37,480 Speaker 1: to accept that. Because it's like I'm the one bringing 933 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,960 Speaker 1: in the income, so it has to be a decision 934 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:40,680 Speaker 1: we make together. 935 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:44,080 Speaker 2: It's also just like financially or it's also just beneficial 936 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 2: for both of you, like the decision that OP was 937 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 2: trying to make. 938 00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,200 Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story and we're going 939 00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:51,000 Speaker 5: on to the next one. 940 00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:55,319 Speaker 6: I uninvited my future brother in law's girlfriend for my 941 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:59,239 Speaker 6: wedding because of the rumors she was spreading. 942 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,440 Speaker 2: Ooh oh, she's a lizard person. We all knew that. 943 00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:06,360 Speaker 6: It's only two weeks before the wedding. And my fiance's brother, 944 00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:11,000 Speaker 6: let's call him John Mail twenty one. His new girlfriend, 945 00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:16,000 Speaker 6: let's call her Betty Female eighteen causes a lot of 946 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:20,200 Speaker 6: drama at the Bridle Shower this past weekend. This has 947 00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:25,160 Speaker 6: been a ongoing problem ever since they started dating. 948 00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:27,759 Speaker 1: We know what they like to do. By the way, 949 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:28,480 Speaker 1: this comes. 950 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,000 Speaker 6: From aggravating yam three nine nine. If you want us 951 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:34,640 Speaker 6: my own stories, you know where to go. I'm Ryley Wilson, 952 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,680 Speaker 6: I'm Savannah, I'm Keon, and we're here to be goofy 953 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,840 Speaker 6: ha ha ha. You're here to calm it down below 954 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:45,360 Speaker 6: your experiences in life. Obi says they got a promise 955 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,360 Speaker 6: ring shortly after dating, which. 956 00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,399 Speaker 1: I have no problem with at all. 957 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:51,920 Speaker 6: Why are you mentioning it? 958 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,879 Speaker 1: But at the Bridle Shower she used it to. 959 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,760 Speaker 6: Brag a lot and cap making comments such as calling 960 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:03,000 Speaker 6: my fiance's mom her mother in law and she said 961 00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,319 Speaker 6: to me, I'd soon be part of the family, as 962 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,600 Speaker 6: though she is already married to John. 963 00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,640 Speaker 3: How long have they been dating like the brand new girlfriend? 964 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:18,120 Speaker 3: How long is new like new girlfriend? Like weeks? Months? 965 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 1: Months? 966 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:20,120 Speaker 3: Yeah? Days. 967 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 6: She also spread a rumor about one of the nicest 968 00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:28,600 Speaker 6: ladies in the bridal shower, my neighbor, saying she had 969 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:32,640 Speaker 6: flirted with Betty's father, not father in law, her real father, 970 00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:37,239 Speaker 6: which was merely impossible, as she is married and is 971 00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,480 Speaker 6: one of the most kind hearted people I know and 972 00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,120 Speaker 6: has never met Betty. We as the neighborhood if she 973 00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,759 Speaker 6: was indeed at the pub where Betty works at the 974 00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:51,319 Speaker 6: previous night from where Betty had claimed it happened, and 975 00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:56,360 Speaker 6: the neighbor said no, she was at home, thus making 976 00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:00,320 Speaker 6: it statistically impossible, unless. 977 00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,799 Speaker 3: Unless if she lied and she. 978 00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:05,720 Speaker 6: Was on FaceTime. All right, so we got this rumor, 979 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:07,360 Speaker 6: how do you feeling about this? 980 00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:11,360 Speaker 3: This girl who's new is coming in in here and 981 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,680 Speaker 3: she's starting to talk to talk and acting all high 982 00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,520 Speaker 3: and mighty, spreading rumors about people that we know and love, 983 00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,399 Speaker 3: taking with a grain of slid like you shut up, 984 00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,400 Speaker 3: I don't know who are you? Why am I taking you? 985 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,160 Speaker 3: Where's your credibility? Huh? 986 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,520 Speaker 6: And every one of the comments is saying a new 987 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,760 Speaker 6: girlfriend is three months or less? 988 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,239 Speaker 2: Okay, following three months, I'll push it to three months. 989 00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,480 Speaker 2: I said two months, but I'll push it. I'll push 990 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,960 Speaker 2: it to three erh yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, we're. 991 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:44,040 Speaker 6: All saying three. A lot more went down, and after 992 00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:48,000 Speaker 6: Betty was extremely rude to my maid of honor, I 993 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:50,200 Speaker 6: had to go up to her and ask her to 994 00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:53,240 Speaker 6: stop being so rude to my guest and to please 995 00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:58,359 Speaker 6: stop gossiping. Shortly thereafter, a lady on their table came 996 00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,520 Speaker 6: up to me and asked to sit with me, as 997 00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:04,360 Speaker 6: she couldn't stand the bad mouthing by Betty at the table. 998 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,080 Speaker 6: My maid of Honor then took it upon herself to 999 00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:10,319 Speaker 6: uninvite Betty as she caused a lot of problems and 1000 00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:13,480 Speaker 6: genuinely just took away from one of the special moments 1001 00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:17,000 Speaker 6: in my life. After she sent her a message, Betty 1002 00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:20,560 Speaker 6: simply ignored it. My maid of Honor then told me 1003 00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:24,279 Speaker 6: about this and decided that she was right, as is 1004 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,560 Speaker 6: her duty to make the wedding run smoothly, and as 1005 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:32,440 Speaker 6: this has happened so many times before, w's in a 1006 00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,120 Speaker 6: chat for maid of honor. That's what a good friend does, 1007 00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:39,280 Speaker 6: right there. I love that my fiance's father thinks I'm 1008 00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:43,279 Speaker 6: tearing the family apart for uninviting her, even after I 1009 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,880 Speaker 6: asked that John was still to come as a groomsman 1010 00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:51,200 Speaker 6: and my fiance's brother. My fiance's dad and brother have 1011 00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,120 Speaker 6: decided that if Betty is not invited, they would not 1012 00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:58,320 Speaker 6: attend either. I laughed out a lot of her actions. 1013 00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,200 Speaker 6: As I did not want to elaborate on everything, and 1014 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,399 Speaker 6: we're halfway through, we probably will get some elaboration. I'm 1015 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,320 Speaker 6: honestly stuck as the what to do. My fiance feels 1016 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:10,840 Speaker 6: that if his family chooses John's new girlfriend over his wedding, 1017 00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,960 Speaker 6: then they don't care about him enough. It hurts to 1018 00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,560 Speaker 6: be in the situation. We want our wedding to run 1019 00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:22,080 Speaker 6: smoothly and drama free, and Betty might not make this possible. 1020 00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:26,360 Speaker 6: So am I the a hole for uninviting Betty? We 1021 00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:28,320 Speaker 6: got some notes all right? On three? 1022 00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:29,080 Speaker 1: Are you ready? 1023 00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:32,640 Speaker 6: Kean and Savannah one two. 1024 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:33,480 Speaker 3: Three nine. 1025 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:35,279 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1026 00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,480 Speaker 4: I think this girl, I mean, if she's gonna cause 1027 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:41,360 Speaker 4: problems and like spread rumors about this like older lady 1028 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:44,440 Speaker 4: who's like the sweetest thing, like no go away. 1029 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,200 Speaker 6: And we're assuming since it's new, she's not even around 1030 00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:48,760 Speaker 6: for three months and she's eighteen. 1031 00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,480 Speaker 1: She has so much growing up to do. 1032 00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:55,839 Speaker 6: Yeah, so some edits, some side notes. My family is 1033 00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:59,040 Speaker 6: paying for the entire wedding. It is also my birthday 1034 00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:02,000 Speaker 6: two days after after the wedding, so it's also a 1035 00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:07,120 Speaker 6: birthday celebration for me as I'm turning twenty one. Betty 1036 00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:10,319 Speaker 6: is going overseas for a year without John, and for 1037 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,840 Speaker 6: this reason wasn't invited to the wedding, but then invited 1038 00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:17,840 Speaker 6: herself after she failed to hand in her paperwork on time. 1039 00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:23,640 Speaker 6: John has always appeared to be the golden child. John 1040 00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:27,080 Speaker 6: and father in law often showed jealousy towards my fiance 1041 00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:31,560 Speaker 6: as he's the younger brother. But he is more successful 1042 00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:34,440 Speaker 6: than both of them. He's probably even like twenty two, 1043 00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,560 Speaker 6: maybe twenty one, this younger brother. 1044 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:38,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, John, he is twenty one. 1045 00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:42,000 Speaker 6: Not John, but uh Opie's fiance because John's twenty one 1046 00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:43,879 Speaker 6: and if fiance's younger than. 1047 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,240 Speaker 2: John, yes, she's twenty nineteen. 1048 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,440 Speaker 6: Colle How was he already more for successful? 1049 00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:50,720 Speaker 1: It makes better grades. 1050 00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,520 Speaker 6: Yes, my fiance and I discussed it before making the 1051 00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:59,359 Speaker 6: decision together to uninvite her. We agreed to not have 1052 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,920 Speaker 6: her at the wedding, even at the cost of his 1053 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,840 Speaker 6: brother not coming. Multiple comments suggest Betty might be pregnant 1054 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:10,440 Speaker 6: and this is a possibility. She posted a negative pregnancy 1055 00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 6: test on her Snapchat at the start of their relationship 1056 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,240 Speaker 6: and said we made it so they were intimate. 1057 00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:18,359 Speaker 1: Who posts that? 1058 00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,359 Speaker 6: Who posts a negative pregnancy test on snapchat? 1059 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:23,759 Speaker 2: You were not saying we made it. 1060 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:27,480 Speaker 1: That's crazy. 1061 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,520 Speaker 2: I got to write that down. Wait, that was Betty? 1062 00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:32,759 Speaker 1: Who did that? Betty did that? 1063 00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:37,879 Speaker 2: What a freak? We made it? Ew who said that? 1064 00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:38,399 Speaker 1: Dude? 1065 00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:38,520 Speaker 5: Did? 1066 00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,640 Speaker 6: Have you ever seen this happen before? Keen? Were someone 1067 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,520 Speaker 6: posts a negative pregnancy test online? 1068 00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:44,640 Speaker 3: No? No, that's just really weird. 1069 00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,919 Speaker 6: So also, my fiance mentioned to me the other day 1070 00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:52,120 Speaker 6: that she was standing weird when talking to his family. 1071 00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:56,120 Speaker 6: She was pushing out her belly, which makes it even 1072 00:51:56,239 --> 00:52:00,360 Speaker 6: more suspicious. And if this is the case, I'd be scared. 1073 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,760 Speaker 6: She will announce it at the wedding. She's gonna announce 1074 00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:05,560 Speaker 6: it either way, if she's pregnant or not. She might 1075 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:09,280 Speaker 6: as well be faking it or impregnated herself by making 1076 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:12,680 Speaker 6: use of a used wiena rapper when John wasn't looking 1077 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:17,080 Speaker 6: or around. We got an update, Savannah, What were you saying? 1078 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,160 Speaker 4: So when she posted we made it with the negative 1079 00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,239 Speaker 4: pregnancy test, maybe she thought that. 1080 00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,640 Speaker 2: Meant it was positive and that's why she put it and. 1081 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,120 Speaker 4: Put we made it like That's what I'm thinking now, 1082 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,600 Speaker 4: because now I think she thinks that she's pregnant, so 1083 00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:30,719 Speaker 4: she's like trying to like be like. 1084 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:37,000 Speaker 2: Like I think that she if she's spreading her own rumors. 1085 00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:41,080 Speaker 2: Now that's crazy. Get a post. We made it with 1086 00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:43,719 Speaker 2: a negative pregnancy test. What does that mean? 1087 00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:45,480 Speaker 1: Like what? 1088 00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,440 Speaker 2: I don't know how to correlate those two. We made it, No, 1089 00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:48,920 Speaker 2: you didn't. 1090 00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,960 Speaker 6: Is there a possibility, Opie, that you can marry your 1091 00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,960 Speaker 6: fiance and don't have to interact with his family anymore? 1092 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,560 Speaker 6: Can this happened? After day one, father in law swore 1093 00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,359 Speaker 6: at my fiance and yelled at him as if he 1094 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:06,160 Speaker 6: is a child that must obey his father and everything 1095 00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,000 Speaker 6: he does. After my fiance said he is not willing 1096 00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,040 Speaker 6: to change his mind, father in law showed up at 1097 00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:14,400 Speaker 6: my fiance's work and said that he will be attending 1098 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:18,600 Speaker 6: the wedding with brother in law, but they are extremely upset. 1099 00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,360 Speaker 6: He was extremely manipulative, and I still do not understand 1100 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,640 Speaker 6: why father in law is reacting so harshly. 1101 00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:26,320 Speaker 1: Update after the wedding. 1102 00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:30,440 Speaker 6: Basically, the wedding was absolutely amazing. 1103 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,160 Speaker 2: Oh good, okay, well was Betty. 1104 00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:36,759 Speaker 6: There though a few things went wrong and that's there 1105 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,919 Speaker 6: you do, such as it raining and the power going out, 1106 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,879 Speaker 6: but we managed to fix all of that. Basically, I'm 1107 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,080 Speaker 6: so happy that we did not invite Betty. 1108 00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,240 Speaker 1: There was a lot of drama though. 1109 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:51,760 Speaker 6: Father in law called Mard of honor a fat witch 1110 00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:57,040 Speaker 6: who tore the family apart. During my husband's speech, my 1111 00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,520 Speaker 6: husband decided that we would keep both sir names to 1112 00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:04,600 Speaker 6: honor both families from here on. Father in law got 1113 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:07,200 Speaker 6: upset about this and was in a terrible mood the 1114 00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:08,120 Speaker 6: entire wedding. 1115 00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:10,240 Speaker 1: Husband was sadded. 1116 00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,880 Speaker 6: By their behavior, and they ended up leaving super early. 1117 00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:16,200 Speaker 6: Father in law keeps on sticking up for John and Betty, 1118 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:19,440 Speaker 6: and husband and I have basically given up on caring 1119 00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:21,719 Speaker 6: about it. At the end of the day, we are 1120 00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:25,960 Speaker 6: extremely happy and we have peace in our hearts about everything. 1121 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:31,960 Speaker 6: Also side note, Betty is acting very pregnant, but says 1122 00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:35,680 Speaker 6: she's only planning for kids in two years time, et cetera. 1123 00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:40,600 Speaker 6: Husband and I have planned to have kids, and everyone knows. 1124 00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:41,880 Speaker 1: That we are TTC. 1125 00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:46,080 Speaker 6: But I guess that's insignificant. Well, if we don't know 1126 00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:48,160 Speaker 6: what TTC means, can anyone tell. 1127 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,200 Speaker 3: Me what TTC means trying to conceive? 1128 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:54,000 Speaker 6: Trying to conceive? Thank you everyone. Betty has been extremely 1129 00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:56,439 Speaker 6: rude to me, which I sort of get, but any 1130 00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,440 Speaker 6: advice would be amazing. Once again, thank you for all 1131 00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:03,040 Speaker 6: the support and love. Also, it has been about nine 1132 00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:06,160 Speaker 6: months since the wedding and most of the family hates 1133 00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:09,279 Speaker 6: Betty as they discovered who she really is. 1134 00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:13,120 Speaker 3: And you know what, not your circus, not your monkeys. 1135 00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:17,520 Speaker 3: Let him deal with that. You tall it, You told them. 1136 00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:18,319 Speaker 1: You did, you really did. 1137 00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:21,440 Speaker 6: I mean, come on, that's crazy that the new girlfriend. 1138 00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:24,040 Speaker 6: I been like, father in law, what's up with that? 1139 00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:24,799 Speaker 6: That's super weird. 1140 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,200 Speaker 3: It's just because John's the golden child and he just 1141 00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:31,400 Speaker 3: like whatever John likes, he likes, you know. 1142 00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,000 Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story. 1143 00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:34,239 Speaker 6: We're gonna read the next one. 1144 00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:38,680 Speaker 2: My daughter turned cold and kept pulling away, so I 1145 00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:43,720 Speaker 2: went low contact. Yeah, she's freezing. I need an outsider opinion. 1146 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:47,200 Speaker 2: I forty six female have been having problems with my daughter, 1147 00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:50,239 Speaker 2: Sarah twenty four. It began when she eloped with her 1148 00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:53,480 Speaker 2: husband three years ago. Me and my husband were really 1149 00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:55,759 Speaker 2: sad that we couldn't see her get married or even 1150 00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:58,840 Speaker 2: know about it until it was over. We were sad, 1151 00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:01,399 Speaker 2: but got over it. It was her day and if 1152 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,120 Speaker 2: she didn't want anyone there, then that was that. We 1153 00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:06,759 Speaker 2: talk on the phone or met up at least every week, 1154 00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,839 Speaker 2: so it was a huge surprise. By the way, this 1155 00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:11,920 Speaker 2: comes from deleted and if you want us make your 1156 00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,320 Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Separate. 1157 00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,920 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, and. 1158 00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:19,839 Speaker 2: We're here to give good vice. Goofy, but we don't 1159 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:21,560 Speaker 2: have all the answers. We only know what we'd do, 1160 00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:23,520 Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments, 1161 00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:27,640 Speaker 2: and Dope says. Then they moved down two states. It 1162 00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:29,600 Speaker 2: would be a trip to visit, so we still talk 1163 00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:32,920 Speaker 2: on the phone more instead of visits. So for holidays 1164 00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,920 Speaker 2: we would visit or they would visit. This year, at Thanksgiving, 1165 00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:40,840 Speaker 2: she brought a surprise, her son Dave. One month. I 1166 00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:45,480 Speaker 2: didn't even know she was pregnant. What this is so strange. 1167 00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:49,600 Speaker 4: Oh, she's just not telling her family anything. I mean, 1168 00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:50,600 Speaker 4: what did the family do? 1169 00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:53,120 Speaker 2: But I think the weird thing to me is that 1170 00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:57,600 Speaker 2: usually when you know a person doesn't tell their family 1171 00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,480 Speaker 2: members that they're getting married or doesn't tell them that 1172 00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:04,279 Speaker 2: they're pregnant, they also are almost fully no contact. In 1173 00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:07,120 Speaker 2: this case, it seems like they're still pretty close, like 1174 00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,439 Speaker 2: they're going to see them for the law days, they're 1175 00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:13,480 Speaker 2: calling them every week, but they're still keeping these huge 1176 00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:17,800 Speaker 2: life things secret. We talked all the time and nothing. Again. 1177 00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:20,480 Speaker 2: Was sad we missed such a large milestone in her life, 1178 00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:24,800 Speaker 2: but didn't say anything. Why not, let's bring it up. 1179 00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,760 Speaker 2: We were happy to meet the grand baby. I called 1180 00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:29,720 Speaker 2: today to ask about what they wanted me to bring 1181 00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:31,880 Speaker 2: out for the baby for the Christmas. Is it the 1182 00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,520 Speaker 2: old baby bed and whatnot? Sarah told me that they 1183 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,600 Speaker 2: will not be coming up for Christmas. I asked if 1184 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,720 Speaker 2: we were going down this year and she said no, 1185 00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:44,640 Speaker 2: it's just a nuclear family for Dave's first Christmas. I 1186 00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:48,080 Speaker 2: asked if we could FaceTime Christmas morning or that day 1187 00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:50,440 Speaker 2: to see Dave and their tree, and she said no. 1188 00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:54,280 Speaker 2: After that conversation, I talked to my husband. We are 1189 00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:57,640 Speaker 2: both sad again and tired of missing milestones in Sarah's life. 1190 00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:00,000 Speaker 2: I sent Sarah a text that me and her dad 1191 00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:03,400 Speaker 2: are going to take a step back low contact. She 1192 00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,480 Speaker 2: called and asked what this was about? 1193 00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:06,040 Speaker 5: Girl? 1194 00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,240 Speaker 2: What you mean? What is this about? Yeah? You don't 1195 00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,400 Speaker 2: tell her anything anyway. I feel like that's what she wanted. 1196 00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:16,960 Speaker 2: You're already low contact. Yeah, I'm I told her, and 1197 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,400 Speaker 2: it broke into an argument that it's her life and 1198 00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:20,920 Speaker 2: she can do what she wants with her kid and 1199 00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,720 Speaker 2: so on. I told her she clearly doesn't want us 1200 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:25,720 Speaker 2: involved in her life and we're stepping out for now. 1201 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,080 Speaker 2: She called me a butt. 1202 00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:28,760 Speaker 1: What do you want girl? 1203 00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:31,560 Speaker 2: So am I the a who'll hear? I need a 1204 00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:35,200 Speaker 2: second opinion? And we've got an update. The only advice 1205 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,120 Speaker 2: I can give is that you should have been asking 1206 00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:41,040 Speaker 2: these questions the whole time instead of waiting until Christmas. Yeah. 1207 00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:43,439 Speaker 2: I just feel like you should have brought this up 1208 00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:46,960 Speaker 2: like the first time she says, Oh, I'm married and 1209 00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:52,200 Speaker 2: you guys weren't invited. I say, uh, why did we 1210 00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:52,800 Speaker 2: do something? 1211 00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:57,120 Speaker 4: I would immediately be questioning the wedding because like, did 1212 00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:57,800 Speaker 4: they even know. 1213 00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:01,040 Speaker 2: She was dating anyone? Like he assume that they knew. 1214 00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:04,400 Speaker 4: I yeah, I assume they probably knew, but like, you know, 1215 00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:07,280 Speaker 4: how long have they been married? Like obviously we don't 1216 00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,760 Speaker 4: get any of that information. But what we have is 1217 00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:12,200 Speaker 4: that she a little They didn't even get to go 1218 00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,080 Speaker 4: to the wedding because I don't even know if they 1219 00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:16,240 Speaker 4: had one. They just kind of didn't tell them about it. 1220 00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,640 Speaker 4: And then they moved and then they had a baby 1221 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:22,560 Speaker 4: and just brought it over without saying anything, and they 1222 00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,960 Speaker 4: we found this baby. Yeah, and then they're like, by 1223 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:29,040 Speaker 4: the way, uh, you guys, we're not doing Christmas this year. 1224 00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:32,520 Speaker 2: Okay, so what do you want? Then? 1225 00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:34,360 Speaker 3: What do you want for me? 1226 00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:37,040 Speaker 2: But we got an update. Let's see if they get 1227 00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:40,920 Speaker 2: any more information. I took everyone's advice and it's been 1228 00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:43,560 Speaker 2: a long week for the family. I gave her a 1229 00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,560 Speaker 2: call after a lot of people asked me to reach 1230 00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,880 Speaker 2: out again and ask her straight up what she wanted. 1231 00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,440 Speaker 2: Did she want us out of her life, what's going on, 1232 00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:53,040 Speaker 2: and to please be honest. She was quiet for a 1233 00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:54,360 Speaker 2: bit and hung up. 1234 00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:56,800 Speaker 1: What's going on? 1235 00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:03,280 Speaker 2: She goes, Babe, what's going on? Abact? 1236 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:03,760 Speaker 4: She just. 1237 01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:13,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, give her a hard stare. I thought that was 1238 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,000 Speaker 2: the end of it and she would reach out later 1239 01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:18,240 Speaker 2: or never. Well, on Monday, she showed up at her 1240 01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:21,600 Speaker 2: house after an eight hour drive. Sarah sat us both 1241 01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:24,040 Speaker 2: down and told the full story of what was going on. 1242 01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,560 Speaker 2: She was happy with eloping and just didn't want to 1243 01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,280 Speaker 2: spend money on a wedding. We knew this one for 1244 01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:35,920 Speaker 2: the baby. She was never pregnant. H her husband cheated 1245 01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:39,760 Speaker 2: on her and got another woman. Pregnant. Sarah found out 1246 01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,560 Speaker 2: about two months before the kid was born. She didn't 1247 01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:44,280 Speaker 2: tell us because Sarah knew we would tell her to 1248 01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:47,000 Speaker 2: leave him. One hundred percent true. She wanted to fix 1249 01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:48,880 Speaker 2: the marriage, and in doing that, she kept it a 1250 01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:52,080 Speaker 2: secret so her husband wouldn't get any backlash. She told 1251 01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:53,800 Speaker 2: us the only reason they were able to meet Dave 1252 01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:55,880 Speaker 2: was due to bio mom dropping the kid off so 1253 01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:58,560 Speaker 2: she could visit her family across the country. There is 1254 01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:02,160 Speaker 2: no custody agreement. It's been a huge mess on their end, 1255 01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:04,720 Speaker 2: and the marriage is rough at the moment. Sarah was 1256 01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:06,480 Speaker 2: planning to go to Christmas at our place at the 1257 01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:09,200 Speaker 2: beginning and explain the situation, but Dave would have been 1258 01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:11,120 Speaker 2: with the bio mom and her husband didn't want the 1259 01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:14,400 Speaker 2: secret out. So when we called her saying we were 1260 01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:16,880 Speaker 2: going to take a step back, Sarah was very upset. 1261 01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:19,400 Speaker 2: She thought she was losing her family over a secret 1262 01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:24,640 Speaker 2: to protect her husband. Oh my god, Wow, that was crazy. 1263 01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,480 Speaker 2: I was the last thing I expected. Yeah, you just 1264 01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:29,920 Speaker 2: that was like think thing thing thing. 1265 01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:31,960 Speaker 4: Oh, we got zero information and all of a sudden, 1266 01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:34,160 Speaker 4: all the information just came splurty. 1267 01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:38,360 Speaker 2: Now please please don't go look condagnanal one and it's 1268 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:39,920 Speaker 2: not my baby. That's why you didn't know that I 1269 01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:41,440 Speaker 2: was pregnant. I was never pregnant. 1270 01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,680 Speaker 4: Okay, So she's in like a weird position because she 1271 01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:47,520 Speaker 4: doesn't want to make her husband look bad even though 1272 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:50,320 Speaker 4: he is horrible because he cheated on her and had 1273 01:01:50,360 --> 01:01:52,760 Speaker 4: a child with another woman and now she has to 1274 01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:57,479 Speaker 4: care for this Childish Gonna be honest, if I were 1275 01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:02,760 Speaker 4: the the biom, I would be kind of I don't know, 1276 01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:09,040 Speaker 4: weirded out, not okay with someone claiming to be bio mom, 1277 01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:13,120 Speaker 4: like you know, not that she necessarily knows, but it's 1278 01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:14,000 Speaker 4: a weird situation. 1279 01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:16,960 Speaker 2: Lauren, you just missed the story. You would have loved it. Also, 1280 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,840 Speaker 2: she was like a cheater, so you know, complicated is 1281 01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:21,240 Speaker 2: it's just weird, just weird. 1282 01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:25,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, that whole thing was just crazy for her to 1283 01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:29,440 Speaker 4: like going from giving mixed signals and then to being like. 1284 01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:35,600 Speaker 2: Boom, exactly like that boom hard stare. It's crazy. We 1285 01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:39,040 Speaker 2: got more though. Her husband didn't help since he never 1286 01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:41,360 Speaker 2: had a close family, so he didn't understand why she 1287 01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:44,880 Speaker 2: was upset. Her husband didn't understand why she was upset 1288 01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:45,960 Speaker 2: that he cheated on her. 1289 01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:46,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, what. 1290 01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:50,080 Speaker 2: Sarah and her husband got into a huge argument about 1291 01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:53,120 Speaker 2: the whole thing. Oh oh, he didn't understand why she 1292 01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:57,360 Speaker 2: wanted a close relationship with her parents. When I called again, 1293 01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:59,560 Speaker 2: she already made up her mind that she'll be telling 1294 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:02,120 Speaker 2: us and going to Christmas at our house. She took 1295 01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,720 Speaker 2: time off and drove down and will stay for Christmas. 1296 01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,400 Speaker 2: She doesn't know what she'll do with her husband and 1297 01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:10,720 Speaker 2: if she'll try to fix it or leave. Leave, leave girl. 1298 01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,520 Speaker 2: She did tell us to stay out of it since 1299 01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:16,600 Speaker 2: she wants her decision to be one hundred percent on her. 1300 01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,040 Speaker 2: We will respect that, even though we're hoping she leaves 1301 01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:23,240 Speaker 2: him for this stunt. Thank you everyone that commented on 1302 01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:25,240 Speaker 2: the last post. You had some great advice and made 1303 01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:26,720 Speaker 2: us really think about what was going on. 1304 01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,520 Speaker 1: Wow, unexpected. 1305 01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:32,600 Speaker 4: I feel bad for her. She's in this weird situation, 1306 01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:34,800 Speaker 4: but I feel like what she can. 1307 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:37,240 Speaker 2: Do is get out of it. 1308 01:03:37,280 --> 01:03:41,760 Speaker 4: Say Battle, I understand that you know you don't want 1309 01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:45,880 Speaker 4: to admit that you're wrong sometimes, but girl, I mean 1310 01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:49,120 Speaker 4: at this point, it's like you just accept it and 1311 01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:51,280 Speaker 4: be like, yeah, I made a mistake and that sucks. 1312 01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:54,000 Speaker 4: I guess it's time for me to just accept this 1313 01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:56,680 Speaker 4: and you know, focus on the relationship with my family 1314 01:03:56,680 --> 01:04:00,320 Speaker 4: then or something like something. I mean, I don't know, 1315 01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:03,760 Speaker 4: it's just I feel bad. But also she's doing it 1316 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:05,680 Speaker 4: too hers well, she's not doing it to herself. 1317 01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:11,560 Speaker 2: I don't know. Five I think she less like she's 1318 01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:13,520 Speaker 2: doing it to herself. But she needs to make the 1319 01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:17,320 Speaker 2: decision herself. I think that's the thing here in my mind. 1320 01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:21,400 Speaker 2: She needs to make that decision. She needs to leave. 1321 01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:23,960 Speaker 2: I think you guys have done as much as you can. 1322 01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:25,600 Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story. 1323 01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:26,840 Speaker 6: We're gonna read the next one. 1324 01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:31,640 Speaker 2: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite Riley's girlfriend is here. 1325 01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:33,320 Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories. 1326 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:35,600 Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 1327 01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:39,880 Speaker 4: My husband promised his mother wouldn't show up. She was 1328 01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:41,600 Speaker 4: at our door two days later. 1329 01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:44,160 Speaker 2: I promise she wouldn't show up tonight. 1330 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:47,600 Speaker 4: This could all be chalked up to paranoi on my end, 1331 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,640 Speaker 4: And if you feel that's what this is, please tell me. 1332 01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:52,840 Speaker 4: I'll be the first to admit I am not in 1333 01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:55,800 Speaker 4: a great headspace right now. I was recently diagnosed with 1334 01:04:55,800 --> 01:05:00,880 Speaker 4: postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. So here goes by the way. 1335 01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:03,640 Speaker 4: This comes from low Cattle forty nine eighty eight and 1336 01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:05,520 Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 1337 01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:07,400 Speaker 4: the r slash okay storytime subreddit. 1338 01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:09,720 Speaker 2: I'm a Savannah, I'm Sophia. 1339 01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:11,960 Speaker 1: I'm Riley, and we are here to give some good advice. 1340 01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:15,240 Speaker 2: Goofly, but h we don't have all the answers. We 1341 01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:16,440 Speaker 2: only tell you what we would do. 1342 01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:17,960 Speaker 4: You should let us know what you would do down 1343 01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:22,080 Speaker 4: in the comments. As Op says, I gave birth five 1344 01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:24,640 Speaker 4: weeks ago. Outside of my husband. I didn't really have 1345 01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:28,280 Speaker 4: a support system nearby. My mom lives across the country 1346 01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:31,120 Speaker 4: and all five of my siblings are with her. Halfway 1347 01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:34,960 Speaker 4: through my delivery, roughly six and a half centimeters dilated 1348 01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:38,680 Speaker 4: and all but begging for the epidural, my mother in 1349 01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:41,240 Speaker 4: law walked into our delivery room uninvited. 1350 01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,960 Speaker 2: She did like a Kramer entrance. She was like, I 1351 01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:52,200 Speaker 2: gotta tell you something. He's like, whoa Kramer? I'm giving birth? 1352 01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:53,400 Speaker 1: Kramer? 1353 01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:57,160 Speaker 2: I'm giving birth? But have you heard about I don't 1354 01:05:57,200 --> 01:06:01,680 Speaker 2: know this news MLM Jerry. Have you heard about cutcoat knives? 1355 01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:02,040 Speaker 1: Jerry? 1356 01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:05,000 Speaker 2: The nurses asked if she was there to support me, 1357 01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:07,720 Speaker 2: and she said, oh no, I'm here to make sure 1358 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:11,200 Speaker 2: my baby has someone to hold him up, and immediately 1359 01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:13,000 Speaker 2: tried to get my husband to sit on the couch 1360 01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:15,240 Speaker 2: with her, telling him I was fine and then he 1361 01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:17,360 Speaker 2: needed to relax while he was holding my hand and 1362 01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:20,720 Speaker 2: rubbing my back. He ignored her completely, and she eventually 1363 01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:27,080 Speaker 2: left on her own, honestly good. Three days later, she showed. 1364 01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:29,520 Speaker 4: Up unannounced at our home and went on a tirade 1365 01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:32,000 Speaker 4: about how I needed to let the baby self smooth 1366 01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:34,920 Speaker 4: and how me constantly holding her was going to make 1367 01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:36,320 Speaker 4: her son's life miserable. 1368 01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:42,360 Speaker 2: Oh god bye, stop. Why are we letting her in? Well, 1369 01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:44,800 Speaker 2: she just like showed up. Yeah, I locked the door. 1370 01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:47,640 Speaker 2: She goes lob me in. Oh yeah, I go. No 1371 01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:54,080 Speaker 2: one's home, We're not here. Hogshoe, hogshoe. 1372 01:06:55,520 --> 01:06:58,200 Speaker 4: I asked her to leave several times, and she eventually did. 1373 01:06:58,200 --> 01:07:00,480 Speaker 4: Once my husband got home and firmly told that her 1374 01:07:00,480 --> 01:07:03,560 Speaker 4: behavior wasn't acceptable and that she needed to go. She 1375 01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:07,160 Speaker 4: left without a problem. For the first three weeks after that, 1376 01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:11,640 Speaker 4: my husband was completely normal. He's apologized for his mom's 1377 01:07:11,680 --> 01:07:15,800 Speaker 4: behavior several times and seemed genuinely remorseful that he hadn't 1378 01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:18,960 Speaker 4: been there to prevent it. And honestly, life moved on. 1379 01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:22,200 Speaker 4: We fell into the rhythm of learning our baby and 1380 01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:25,280 Speaker 4: figuring out parenthood together. But about a week and a 1381 01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:31,160 Speaker 4: half ago, something shifted, and he guess says, anyone, uh. 1382 01:07:30,400 --> 01:07:32,960 Speaker 2: Your husband started taking his mother's side and became a 1383 01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:38,720 Speaker 2: mama boy. Wooh, that's usually what happens Europe. He went quiet. 1384 01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:42,440 Speaker 4: He looked exhausted and withdrawn all the time. When I 1385 01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:44,200 Speaker 4: finally got him to open up, he told me he 1386 01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:46,560 Speaker 4: missed his mom and felt guilty that she wasn't around 1387 01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:49,600 Speaker 4: to experience his first child, even though she has seven 1388 01:07:49,680 --> 01:07:52,600 Speaker 4: other grandchildren, all of whom she's a wonderful and involved 1389 01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,600 Speaker 4: grandmother too. He said he wanted to invite her over 1390 01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:58,040 Speaker 4: and give her a chance to apologize. I didn't say 1391 01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:01,200 Speaker 4: anything right away. I was already in my PPD and 1392 01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:05,160 Speaker 4: postpartum anxiety at this point and didn't want to snap 1393 01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:07,440 Speaker 4: at him, so I bit my tongue and asked him 1394 01:08:07,480 --> 01:08:08,320 Speaker 4: to give me a week. 1395 01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:08,960 Speaker 1: He agreed. 1396 01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:12,360 Speaker 4: He didn't give me a week. She was at my 1397 01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:15,240 Speaker 4: house two days later. He swears he didn't invite her, 1398 01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:17,600 Speaker 4: and honestly, in his defense, he did look panicked and 1399 01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:19,320 Speaker 4: immediately asked her why she was there. 1400 01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:20,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet she. 1401 01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:23,320 Speaker 2: He didn't invite her. She has a habit of just 1402 01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:27,080 Speaker 2: showing up. Yeah, not that surprising. He's like, no, wait, 1403 01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:31,360 Speaker 2: this is just really bad timing. I swear an invite. Yeah, 1404 01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:32,280 Speaker 2: that's crazy. 1405 01:08:32,880 --> 01:08:36,120 Speaker 4: She said she wanted to speak to me directly. She apologized, 1406 01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:39,360 Speaker 4: saying she was just concerned and that having raised four 1407 01:08:39,439 --> 01:08:41,600 Speaker 4: kids herself, she was only trying to give advice and 1408 01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:43,920 Speaker 4: hadn't realized it was such a sore subject. 1409 01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:45,200 Speaker 1: That was it. 1410 01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:47,800 Speaker 4: She didn't wait for me to respond. She just turned 1411 01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:49,760 Speaker 4: to my husband and asked him to go outside with 1412 01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:52,360 Speaker 4: her to catch up. She left about an hour later. 1413 01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:53,719 Speaker 1: I was livid. 1414 01:08:54,200 --> 01:08:56,240 Speaker 4: I told my husband that I had asked for a 1415 01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:59,439 Speaker 4: week and he had done whatever he wanted anyway. He 1416 01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:02,040 Speaker 4: said it was his life too, and then I was 1417 01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:05,639 Speaker 4: being selfish for not understanding his position. After that, I 1418 01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:09,200 Speaker 4: honestly just checked out emotionally, and things got more tense 1419 01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:12,479 Speaker 4: from there because his mother kept coming by in all 1420 01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:14,800 Speaker 4: of those visits. She never once held the baby, never 1421 01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:17,400 Speaker 4: once asked how I was doing, and bare leaving glanced 1422 01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:20,080 Speaker 4: in my daughter's direction. I just ignored her, and she 1423 01:09:20,200 --> 01:09:23,200 Speaker 4: ignored me right back. Fast forward to Three days ago, 1424 01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:25,680 Speaker 4: my mom had planned a surprise trip with all of 1425 01:09:25,680 --> 01:09:27,600 Speaker 4: my siblings to come visit me and the baby for 1426 01:09:27,640 --> 01:09:29,920 Speaker 4: a week. Okay, they booked a hotel. I was like, 1427 01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:32,479 Speaker 4: no way. She's like, they're all gonna stay in your house. 1428 01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:37,639 Speaker 2: She'll be planning surprise trips. Communicate someone informalb that these 1429 01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:40,920 Speaker 2: were happening. They booked a hotel, so they wouldn't even 1430 01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:42,200 Speaker 2: be staying with us. Good. 1431 01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:45,320 Speaker 4: But my fourteen year old sister accidentally let it slept 1432 01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:47,200 Speaker 4: when I was on the phone with my mom, so 1433 01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:50,720 Speaker 4: I found out early and was absolutely thrilled. I went 1434 01:09:50,760 --> 01:09:53,040 Speaker 4: to tell my husband. He asked when they'd be arriving. 1435 01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:56,400 Speaker 4: He said their flight lands tomorrow morning. He immediately said 1436 01:09:56,479 --> 01:09:58,880 Speaker 4: that doesn't work. Tomorrow is my mom's birthday, and I 1437 01:09:58,920 --> 01:09:59,800 Speaker 4: planned a dinner for her. 1438 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:03,240 Speaker 2: Oh oh sorry, okay, ma oh, Pie's mom planned the surprise trip. 1439 01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:05,640 Speaker 2: I mean, like, still seems like we've had a lot 1440 01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:07,200 Speaker 2: of surprises. I snapped. 1441 01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:09,439 Speaker 4: I told him I was going to spend time with 1442 01:10:09,479 --> 01:10:12,000 Speaker 4: my family, that he was welcome to enjoy dinner with 1443 01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:13,840 Speaker 4: his mom, but that the baby and I would be 1444 01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:16,320 Speaker 4: with my family. He argued that the baby needed to 1445 01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:18,080 Speaker 4: be at his mom's birthday dinner. 1446 01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:22,759 Speaker 2: Why baby's not gonna remember that mom ignores the baby 1447 01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:27,200 Speaker 2: every time she's there. Yeah, and and the mom like, uh, 1448 01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:27,760 Speaker 2: what is it? 1449 01:10:27,800 --> 01:10:31,479 Speaker 4: The husband's mom like she's she's been there seeing the 1450 01:10:31,479 --> 01:10:33,880 Speaker 4: baby this whole time, but actually just ignoring it, so 1451 01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:34,840 Speaker 4: like she had her chance. 1452 01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:35,559 Speaker 2: I don't know. 1453 01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:38,479 Speaker 4: And now oh, Pie's family's coming in. They want to 1454 01:10:38,479 --> 01:10:40,360 Speaker 4: meet the baby. They're gonna meet the baby. 1455 01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:43,719 Speaker 2: Yep, they haven't even met the baby. Your mom's already 1456 01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:47,880 Speaker 2: met the baby, and sucks. I held firm and said no, 1457 01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,879 Speaker 2: and then he apologized, said that I was constantly choosing 1458 01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:56,519 Speaker 2: my family over him. Wow, that's pretty hypocritical, because that's 1459 01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:59,160 Speaker 2: what you're doing with your mom, Like eat your words. 1460 01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:02,000 Speaker 4: A fan only I hadn't seen in over a year. 1461 01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:04,679 Speaker 4: He followed it up with I'll just tell my mom 1462 01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:06,840 Speaker 4: she isn't welcome here anymore, so you can get your 1463 01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:07,839 Speaker 4: way per usual. 1464 01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:12,120 Speaker 2: Ah, you're so annoying, bruh. 1465 01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:16,280 Speaker 4: I said good and walked away. For the past three days, 1466 01:11:16,280 --> 01:11:18,640 Speaker 4: we haven't spoken. He hasn't said a word in my 1467 01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:21,160 Speaker 4: family either, even when they try to talk to him. 1468 01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:23,840 Speaker 4: My mom actually pulled me aside and asked if he 1469 01:11:23,960 --> 01:11:27,360 Speaker 4: was okay, wondering if he might also be struggling with 1470 01:11:27,400 --> 01:11:30,479 Speaker 4: some form of postpartum stress. So I finally told my 1471 01:11:30,560 --> 01:11:32,920 Speaker 4: husband last night that if he couldn't act civil, he 1472 01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:34,680 Speaker 4: was welcome to go stay with his mother until my 1473 01:11:34,680 --> 01:11:37,360 Speaker 4: family left, because I was not going to be made 1474 01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,840 Speaker 4: to feel guilty for wanting to spend time with people 1475 01:11:39,840 --> 01:11:43,400 Speaker 4: who actually support me. He didn't respond, he just went 1476 01:11:43,439 --> 01:11:46,840 Speaker 4: to bed. I am honestly considering whether this relationship is 1477 01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:47,880 Speaker 4: sustainable right now? 1478 01:11:48,320 --> 01:11:50,479 Speaker 2: Am I at all in the wrong here? And there 1479 01:11:50,520 --> 01:11:55,240 Speaker 2: is an update? No, this relationship is about as sustainable 1480 01:11:55,240 --> 01:11:56,080 Speaker 2: as coal. 1481 01:11:56,720 --> 01:12:00,439 Speaker 6: Is as sustainable as cotton candy when a racoon tries 1482 01:12:00,479 --> 01:12:01,080 Speaker 6: to wash it? 1483 01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:03,960 Speaker 2: Oh, where to go? It's gone? That dissolved. 1484 01:12:04,479 --> 01:12:06,920 Speaker 4: I wanted to give a little update for those following along. 1485 01:12:07,200 --> 01:12:09,400 Speaker 4: My family left last night, and no, I didn't go 1486 01:12:09,479 --> 01:12:12,599 Speaker 4: with them, mainly because the idea of taking a newborn 1487 01:12:12,640 --> 01:12:15,040 Speaker 4: on a plane brought me way too much anxiety and 1488 01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,240 Speaker 4: I just couldn't do it. But I did talk to 1489 01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:19,560 Speaker 4: my husband. I told him that the silent treatments that 1490 01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:22,599 Speaker 4: disregard for my boundaries and allowing tension to keep building 1491 01:12:22,640 --> 01:12:25,760 Speaker 4: were all things I couldn't keep living with I told 1492 01:12:25,840 --> 01:12:28,120 Speaker 4: him that if we couldn't find a compromise, I would 1493 01:12:28,160 --> 01:12:30,600 Speaker 4: have to seriously think about what was best for me 1494 01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:34,040 Speaker 4: and the baby. He deflected at first, asking why my 1495 01:12:34,120 --> 01:12:36,120 Speaker 4: boundaries mattered but his didn't. 1496 01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,519 Speaker 2: I don't care about your boundaries dead. 1497 01:12:38,680 --> 01:12:41,360 Speaker 4: What were your boundaries that your mom needed to come 1498 01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:42,200 Speaker 4: over every other day? 1499 01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:44,400 Speaker 2: It's not a boundary, it's just kind of annoying. 1500 01:12:45,120 --> 01:12:47,120 Speaker 4: I asked what he meant, and he said he hadn't 1501 01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:49,160 Speaker 4: wanted my family visiting because he was worried about the 1502 01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:51,280 Speaker 4: baby being exposed to germs from traveling. 1503 01:12:51,400 --> 01:12:55,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, right, you never said that you're making stuff up 1504 01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:57,519 Speaker 2: next sentence. He had never once said that to me. 1505 01:12:57,640 --> 01:12:59,439 Speaker 2: So I told him that if he expected me to 1506 01:12:59,439 --> 01:13:01,360 Speaker 2: read his mind and he was going to be disappointed, 1507 01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:03,320 Speaker 2: and that we both needed to work on communicating matter 1508 01:13:03,479 --> 01:13:06,679 Speaker 2: nice bars. That led to another argument. 1509 01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:09,080 Speaker 4: He said he felt like he couldn't do anything right, 1510 01:13:09,120 --> 01:13:11,240 Speaker 4: that every time he tried to help, he messed up, 1511 01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:13,080 Speaker 4: and every time he thought things were getting. 1512 01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:15,240 Speaker 2: Better, something fell apart. He said he. 1513 01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:17,400 Speaker 4: Had been bodling everything up because he didn't want to 1514 01:13:17,400 --> 01:13:19,840 Speaker 4: add to my stress, but that he was drowning under 1515 01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:22,840 Speaker 4: the weight of new responsibilities. He said he didn't know 1516 01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:26,280 Speaker 4: how to keep our family steady when he himself wasn't okay. 1517 01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:28,960 Speaker 4: He talked about feeling like he was losing control and 1518 01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:31,559 Speaker 4: that he was scared, and then he just broke down 1519 01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:34,519 Speaker 4: and cried. I didn't say a word. I just let 1520 01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:38,240 Speaker 4: him talk because he finally was and when he was done, 1521 01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:40,920 Speaker 4: I held him and he cried some more. When things 1522 01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:43,040 Speaker 4: calmed down, I told him I understood, and that I 1523 01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:45,559 Speaker 4: did love her and that I loved him, And then 1524 01:13:45,560 --> 01:13:49,040 Speaker 4: I also couldn't keep letting my own needs go unaddressed. 1525 01:13:49,479 --> 01:13:52,840 Speaker 4: I was gentle but firm. His mom cannot come back 1526 01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:55,680 Speaker 4: to our home. If he wants to see her, he 1527 01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:57,719 Speaker 4: can go to her. He nodded and said, okay. 1528 01:13:58,160 --> 01:14:01,519 Speaker 2: Uh, what I was gonna say is Darvo. This is 1529 01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:05,160 Speaker 2: classic Darvo. So, Savannah, I don't think you've read a 1530 01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:07,439 Speaker 2: lot of stories where we bring up Darva or like 1531 01:14:07,640 --> 01:14:10,479 Speaker 2: random people will bring up Darvo. But it means din 1532 01:14:10,560 --> 01:14:13,960 Speaker 2: I attack, reverse victim, and offender. So I feel like 1533 01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:16,719 Speaker 2: he started off with being like, what, there's no problem, 1534 01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:18,920 Speaker 2: you know, like like I just missed my mom, what 1535 01:14:18,960 --> 01:14:22,080 Speaker 2: are you talking about? And then he attacks his wife 1536 01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:25,400 Speaker 2: and it's like, well, like you're always saying that you know, 1537 01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:29,000 Speaker 2: I can't do anything, Brian, It's ridiculous. And then he's 1538 01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:32,160 Speaker 2: like the victim. He starts crying, so I feel like 1539 01:14:32,160 --> 01:14:34,719 Speaker 2: he's just going through all of these things. I don't 1540 01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:38,880 Speaker 2: really trust the crying. I'm sorry, I don't trust it. 1541 01:14:39,479 --> 01:14:41,880 Speaker 2: I think I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt 1542 01:14:41,880 --> 01:14:45,160 Speaker 2: here because I think the reason his mom kept coming 1543 01:14:45,200 --> 01:14:48,040 Speaker 2: over he was probably calling her yeah, and telling her 1544 01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:50,719 Speaker 2: about saying like, I can't go to my wife because 1545 01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:52,799 Speaker 2: she keeps yelling at me and I can't say anything, 1546 01:14:52,880 --> 01:14:54,880 Speaker 2: and everything's around her, and I feel bad because she's 1547 01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:57,759 Speaker 2: also going through like postpartum and you know, all this stuff. 1548 01:14:57,800 --> 01:15:00,320 Speaker 4: So it's like he was also dealing with It's like 1549 01:15:00,439 --> 01:15:05,759 Speaker 4: I can't express myself because she needs to express herself. 1550 01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:06,920 Speaker 1: I think so, I think. 1551 01:15:06,720 --> 01:15:09,720 Speaker 2: It was just like a misalignment. I would agree with 1552 01:15:09,760 --> 01:15:14,040 Speaker 2: that only if it depends on how he reacts after. 1553 01:15:14,640 --> 01:15:18,120 Speaker 2: So after they have like they've had this conversation, if 1554 01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:20,920 Speaker 2: it was what you're saying, then I think he would 1555 01:15:21,040 --> 01:15:22,599 Speaker 2: talk to her and they would set up a thing 1556 01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:26,200 Speaker 2: where the mom is still not as involved, but there's 1557 01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:29,479 Speaker 2: a compromise. Or something. But if it's like Darvo, then 1558 01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:31,840 Speaker 2: he'll just keep wanting to get his way and keep 1559 01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:34,320 Speaker 2: pushing her. So I feel like it just depends on 1560 01:15:34,360 --> 01:15:38,080 Speaker 2: how he reacts afterwards. All right, should we go by? 1561 01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,320 Speaker 2: Should we finish this? Guy? Let's do it? Should we 1562 01:15:40,360 --> 01:15:40,560 Speaker 2: do that? 1563 01:15:40,760 --> 01:15:43,360 Speaker 5: Let's do it, Darvo. 1564 01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:47,280 Speaker 2: I'm gonna darvo you, guys, we're not gonna finish the story. 1565 01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:49,639 Speaker 2: And it's actually your fault. It's your fault. Why would 1566 01:15:49,640 --> 01:15:52,080 Speaker 2: you do that? You came here to read stories or 1567 01:15:52,120 --> 01:15:54,479 Speaker 2: you came here to listen to stories. Actually you're reading 1568 01:15:54,479 --> 01:15:57,800 Speaker 2: them though we're reversing it herey go, guys, it's all you. 1569 01:16:00,120 --> 01:16:02,200 Speaker 2: I can't say for certain weather he'll stick to that. 1570 01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:05,519 Speaker 2: We didn't talk much beyond that point and said he 1571 01:16:05,600 --> 01:16:09,559 Speaker 2: made dinner. He served me my plate and spoon fed 1572 01:16:09,680 --> 01:16:12,600 Speaker 2: me while I was nursing the baby. It was a 1573 01:16:12,960 --> 01:16:16,080 Speaker 2: small thing, but it meant a lot. This is going 1574 01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:18,400 Speaker 2: to be a long road and I can't see the 1575 01:16:18,520 --> 01:16:21,559 Speaker 2: end of the tunnel just yet, but maybe I will soon. 1576 01:16:22,120 --> 01:16:23,880 Speaker 2: Thank you all for taking the time to go on 1577 01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:28,640 Speaker 2: this journey with me. Much love, kiss, kiss. I'm just 1578 01:16:28,640 --> 01:16:32,519 Speaker 2: gonna say those two question marks were kisses and that 1579 01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:33,880 Speaker 2: where it is, and