1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:04,640
Speaker 1: I feel like, I really feel like, why are you

2
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,720
Speaker 1: going to play house with a man? And that's why

3
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,520
Speaker 1: most women never become the wives they want to be. Oh,

4
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:10,920
Speaker 1: they want to marry a man.

5
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:11,920
Speaker 2: And and I'm.

6
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,760
Speaker 1: Sure that they women are getting tired of trying to

7
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,079
Speaker 1: pressure that man into marrying them. He already gave him everything.

8
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,200
Speaker 1: Why would he buy the cow if he gave him

9
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,080
Speaker 1: the milk for free?

10
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,680
Speaker 2: So moving in with a man first, you think I

11
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:26,040
Speaker 2: think it a disaster. Really, I will fold my man's

12
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,800
Speaker 2: clothes and spread his cheeks wide and look it to

13
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 2: the heavens. Just because I go above and beyond to

14
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,559
Speaker 2: show how much I love my man doesn't mean I

15
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:41,199
Speaker 2: want to be a wife. I believe that there are

16
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:48,839
Speaker 2: women that do not want to be a white The

17
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:53,320
Speaker 2: Decisions Decisions Welcome everybody to a Part two not be

18
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 2: hold enough the three side note Part two of Decisions Decisions,

19
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,080
Speaker 2: it's your girl, man DV. I'm wezy And for a

20
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,480
Speaker 2: week we was like Mortal Kombat.

21
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,800
Speaker 3: Me and Sarah was holding like this get ready for

22
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,959
Speaker 3: the next com And we have Sarah fine to know

23
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,400
Speaker 3: Dad Shorter still back in the building.

24
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,640
Speaker 2: And if y'all see, we got the same outfit song.

25
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,600
Speaker 2: If y'all are watching us on the YouTube, the conversation

26
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,160
Speaker 2: had to continue. We didn't even get to how she

27
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:19,920
Speaker 2: was out here.

28
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,160
Speaker 1: She she told his nigga, you got to marry me

29
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,080
Speaker 1: to get the kouchie.

30
00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,160
Speaker 2: She also believes that once you win a man, you

31
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,040
Speaker 2: can't have the friends of the opposite sex. This was all.

32
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,160
Speaker 2: I've just been over here, like, y'all, ain't serious.

33
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,200
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm about to go downstairs see my boyfriend.

34
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:41,639
Speaker 2: He be She's right, I'm gonna talk. This is like okay,

35
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,039
Speaker 2: and this is the thing, y'all. Y'all both mean what

36
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,560
Speaker 2: y'all are saying. Yes, like, I've been over here like

37
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,120
Speaker 2: I ain't even gonna hold y'all, if you haven't yet,

38
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,640
Speaker 2: make sure you check out last week's episode. We're not

39
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,440
Speaker 2: gonna rehash it, but it was a lot going on,

40
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,200
Speaker 2: and we're back again with three people who do not agree.

41
00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:02,200
Speaker 2: I'll shit, holy fuck. Was there anywhere specifically that y'all

42
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,960
Speaker 2: wanted to pick up from the last episode?

43
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,040
Speaker 3: Get more into your marriage and then we go back? Okay,

44
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,919
Speaker 3: an exciting thing. Let's start like, I don't know, I

45
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:11,920
Speaker 3: love love. I love when people like I love I

46
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:12,280
Speaker 3: love that.

47
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:20,000
Speaker 2: Too, y'all. Y'all can't understand. Yeah, I felt so like

48
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,640
Speaker 2: unincluded in conversations because as a woman who cool, doesn't

49
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,399
Speaker 2: want to get married, doesn't want to have children. It's

50
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,400
Speaker 2: funny that we keep blaming society, but maybe y'all are

51
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,960
Speaker 2: society because there's a level of not believing that my

52
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,920
Speaker 2: love is equal to y'all's love because I don't want

53
00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,680
Speaker 2: to don't want to go to a cour Yes, yes, yes, yes,

54
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,799
Speaker 2: you and edin that told me you don't even get

55
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,720
Speaker 2: a serious relationships because you don't have you don't have

56
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:48,880
Speaker 2: milestones to want to reach in relationships. So what what

57
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,840
Speaker 2: do you do relationships for? Apparently creating memories wasn't a

58
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,120
Speaker 2: good answer, so I got to come up with another answer.

59
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:59,320
Speaker 2: But her context though Mandy had made a comment about

60
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,919
Speaker 2: I don't want marriage, I don't want children, and I

61
00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:05,480
Speaker 2: don't want to live together, so if we do it

62
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:06,160
Speaker 2: gotta be big.

63
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,440
Speaker 3: I understand how absolutely not wanted children. I get that,

64
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:16,079
Speaker 3: totally get not wanting marriage, but for long.

65
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,240
Speaker 4: Term commitments, I at least think cohabitation.

66
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,440
Speaker 2: So in the same city.

67
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,520
Speaker 3: He surprised me, and I was like, damn, well, does

68
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,520
Speaker 3: it then feel like, sometimes a relationship will have a ceiling.

69
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:34,120
Speaker 3: If living together is to me more important to marriage sometimes, right,

70
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,800
Speaker 3: you're like, damn, this is we're really in the weeds

71
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,119
Speaker 3: of thismmates.

72
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,480
Speaker 1: I really don't think you should live with anyone before

73
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,120
Speaker 1: you marry them.

74
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:46,040
Speaker 2: Okay, oh go, why not because because I know we're

75
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:46,760
Speaker 2: gonna disagree.

76
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,840
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like if that's the case, get a roommate.

77
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,960
Speaker 2: I feel like that. I personally feel like, why are you.

78
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,960
Speaker 1: Going to play house with a man? And that's why

79
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,440
Speaker 1: most women never become the wives they want to be.

80
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,360
Speaker 1: They want to marry a man. And I'm sure that

81
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,680
Speaker 1: they women getting tired of trying to pressure that man

82
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,119
Speaker 1: into marrying them. You already gave him everything. Why would

83
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,800
Speaker 1: he buy the cow if you gave him the milk

84
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,600
Speaker 1: for free? So moving in with a man first, you

85
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:09,920
Speaker 1: think I think it was a disaster.

86
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:11,600
Speaker 2: Really I do.

87
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:12,880
Speaker 1: I think it's a mistake.

88
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,400
Speaker 2: And I get it right because now I just like

89
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,000
Speaker 2: what you're saying because we did all this shit, So

90
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:21,480
Speaker 2: I do I feel like it's I feel like I don't.

91
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:23,000
Speaker 2: This is what I think.

92
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,280
Speaker 1: If you look at relationships, most relationships last two to

93
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,120
Speaker 1: three years. They break up now you got to move

94
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,200
Speaker 1: out when you could have just had a roommate for

95
00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,200
Speaker 1: two or three years and they got to go their way,

96
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,760
Speaker 1: and they gotta go their way, but you get to

97
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,280
Speaker 1: stay in your house. You don't get to have the

98
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,040
Speaker 1: heartbreaking of changing your whole life and moving things around.

99
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,800
Speaker 1: And then somebody will say to you, well, don't you

100
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,040
Speaker 1: think that you should know how someone moves before you

101
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:44,880
Speaker 1: move in with them.

102
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,520
Speaker 2: No, how do you not know?

103
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,400
Speaker 1: You know if this person is nasty because you're over

104
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,040
Speaker 1: there all the time. I'm not saying don't spend the night.

105
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,440
Speaker 1: I'm not saying don't have time together. I'm not saying

106
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:53,960
Speaker 1: don't be at their house. They be at your house.

107
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,600
Speaker 1: But you know what I asked my therapist this a

108
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,880
Speaker 1: long time ago. He said, Sarah, I was in a

109
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,200
Speaker 1: relationship at the time, and he said, you keep moving

110
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,480
Speaker 1: like a wife and you're not his wife. And I said,

111
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,640
Speaker 1: what is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.

112
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,400
Speaker 1: This is not with my current relation my husband, obviously,

113
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:15,000
Speaker 1: But he said, girlfriend and boyfriend is yours and mine

114
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,880
Speaker 1: husband and wife is ours. This is our house, this

115
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,280
Speaker 1: is our car, this is our dog. No, when we're

116
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,480
Speaker 1: boyfriend girlfriend, that's your house, this is my house. That's

117
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,920
Speaker 1: your car, This my car, that's your cat, this my dog.

118
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,080
Speaker 1: This is separate because it's a it's delusional to think

119
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,719
Speaker 1: that everything that we have and we start saying it, Oh,

120
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,160
Speaker 1: this is our place, Oh this is our No, it's not.

121
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:39,640
Speaker 1: This is a temporary roommate that you get.

122
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:40,160
Speaker 2: To have sex with.

123
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:41,080
Speaker 1: What this is?

124
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:42,360
Speaker 2: Do you think that there is?

125
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,040
Speaker 3: And I guess this is a curious thing for me

126
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,200
Speaker 3: as someone that you know now or maybe you may

127
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,880
Speaker 3: not believe it all the way, but maybe you believe

128
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,200
Speaker 3: I want marriage, so someone yes, I believe you, but

129
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,280
Speaker 3: would you believe because I feel like a lot of

130
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,640
Speaker 3: people did not believe me with this.

131
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,960
Speaker 4: I didn't really care about marriage for the living together.

132
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,680
Speaker 3: And I am a non traditional person, but I think

133
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,640
Speaker 3: I didn't care about it so much because to me,

134
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,280
Speaker 3: I was like, I feel like, I'll see on a

135
00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,600
Speaker 3: lot of friends move fast or move on a timeline

136
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,400
Speaker 3: that was an arbitrary number of this many months before sex,

137
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,400
Speaker 3: this many months before marriage, x y Z whatever. I

138
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,360
Speaker 3: was never really scared that the living together would take

139
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,760
Speaker 3: away from possible marriage.

140
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,240
Speaker 2: That didn't really scare me. It didn't feel like this

141
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,560
Speaker 2: thing that was looming.

142
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,440
Speaker 3: I know why somebody would think that way, but I

143
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,920
Speaker 3: really kind of felt like, if it don't happen to happen,

144
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,240
Speaker 3: I'm the girl that wants to get married in a

145
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,680
Speaker 3: fucking courthouse. And then I don't know, like I don't

146
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,400
Speaker 3: have this baby doll dream of a certain thing for

147
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:46,080
Speaker 3: wedding X y Z. But I wonder for you, if

148
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,479
Speaker 3: the goal exists more than the person. Is that why

149
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,800
Speaker 3: you were like, I will not because marriage is the goal,

150
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:54,360
Speaker 3: not him.

151
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,440
Speaker 1: No, marriage is not the goal for me. Happiness, peace alignment,

152
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,800
Speaker 1: similar core values, having a relationship that I'm excited to

153
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:06,160
Speaker 1: go home to, excited to take my clothes off for that.

154
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,120
Speaker 1: That is a someone to grow oldest, someone to witness

155
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,400
Speaker 1: life with. Because in a fleeting world.

156
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,360
Speaker 2: No, I'm loving Because when I said that but without marriage,

157
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:22,920
Speaker 2: it sounded like no Fanny, butterflies and unicorn. I said this.

158
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, Davi, you don't even want to live together.

159
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:24,880
Speaker 2: What do you want?

160
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,720
Speaker 1: But I said this, make memories, I said, so, I said,

161
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,800
Speaker 1: I want a healthy relationship, someone I can have fun with,

162
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,160
Speaker 1: someone I can create memories with, someone I can travel with,

163
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,480
Speaker 1: I can still want to do all the things with

164
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:40,400
Speaker 1: this person without the legality of us filing taxes together.

165
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,080
Speaker 2: And mind you, I've been in a business where I

166
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,000
Speaker 2: got to divorce. It wasn't fun, right, and so I've

167
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,200
Speaker 2: been through a divorce essentially because to me, marriage is

168
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,560
Speaker 2: not much different than a business. Essentially, it is a business.

169
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,600
Speaker 2: You got to bring asses together. And then also the

170
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,920
Speaker 2: person you marry is never the person.

171
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,400
Speaker 3: You then for.

172
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,000
Speaker 4: Marriage. I will said it.

173
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:05,600
Speaker 2: I will take a ring to me, especially as I

174
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,560
Speaker 2: know you ready, and I say this too. Y'all could

175
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:14,240
Speaker 2: kill me for it if for whatever reason my wealth crumbles.

176
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,680
Speaker 2: All married for money to be supported, but as a

177
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,640
Speaker 2: woman who can provide for myself, who loves my friends,

178
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:27,920
Speaker 2: who actually really receives happiness from solitude and being able

179
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,040
Speaker 2: to just be alone and maybe just lay with my

180
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,360
Speaker 2: cat and not have to worry about fuck someone else

181
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,040
Speaker 2: is in my home when I get off of work

182
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,079
Speaker 2: and I don't want to be bothered. Like to me,

183
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,920
Speaker 2: my solitude is peace. My money, me being able to

184
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,880
Speaker 2: pay my own bills and not be dependent on anyone

185
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,160
Speaker 2: is peace. So for me, if I end up being

186
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,240
Speaker 2: a broke bitch down the line, then cool, all get married,

187
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,080
Speaker 2: because then I'm gonna get married for someone to come

188
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,599
Speaker 2: and take care of me. As a woman with my

189
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:56,320
Speaker 2: own autonomy who has found complete happiness with the life

190
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,160
Speaker 2: I've created for myself, I don't want to risk a

191
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:03,760
Speaker 2: man coming in being tied to everything that I've made

192
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,719
Speaker 2: and be able to take anything that I've done. And

193
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,559
Speaker 2: so for me, I've also seen women. My grandmother, she

194
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:15,679
Speaker 2: was a woman who my step granddad whatever paid for everything,

195
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,319
Speaker 2: and when he was done, she left with nothing and

196
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:21,679
Speaker 2: started over at fifty with nothing. For me knowing what

197
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,280
Speaker 2: I built up and seeing Viadell's, the Kelly Clarkson's and

198
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:29,080
Speaker 2: Mary J. Blige, do you feel secure to me? Humans

199
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,280
Speaker 2: are humans? So no, the same way I don't trust

200
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,559
Speaker 2: our government, the same way a friend can come in

201
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,199
Speaker 2: and sleep with your man and say she was doing this,

202
00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,719
Speaker 2: The same way the person I started a podcast with

203
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,360
Speaker 2: was it the person I ended it with. I believe

204
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,199
Speaker 2: that people change over time and in no way. And

205
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,360
Speaker 2: maybe it's the control word you always use with me.

206
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,280
Speaker 2: I want to feel like no one can come in

207
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,600
Speaker 2: and literally crumple my life.

208
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,719
Speaker 1: So here's a question, and I don't want to ask

209
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,079
Speaker 1: it about you because I don't want to make it

210
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:58,760
Speaker 1: personal to you.

211
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,439
Speaker 2: But oh no, no, no, no, please do because I

212
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,160
Speaker 2: ain't talking about you, bitchus. Like That's another thing. When

213
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,199
Speaker 2: I talk, a lot of people will be like thinking

214
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,199
Speaker 2: I'm generalizing or talking for someone. Yeah, when I say

215
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,959
Speaker 2: what I want, it's because I just don't want to

216
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,280
Speaker 2: put your business out. Okay, you wrote a book about

217
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,360
Speaker 2: your business. I never talking about that type of business.

218
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,120
Speaker 1: Because for me, when I'm listening to you, because this

219
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,719
Speaker 1: is the thing, Mandy, I haven't known you long, but

220
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:29,160
Speaker 1: you are always high ass energy, you feel good, you're kind,

221
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,000
Speaker 1: you're yourself and I'm never colytetic and you.

222
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,719
Speaker 2: No, I love that, like I like you just have.

223
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,400
Speaker 1: You have such a good vibe. And then also when

224
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,920
Speaker 1: I hear you talk, I hear wounds. Oh so for me,

225
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,480
Speaker 1: when I hear you, I it's like a wounded lens.

226
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,439
Speaker 1: And if you and it's all really based on this

227
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,920
Speaker 1: person's gonna let me down, this person's gonna hurt me.

228
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,520
Speaker 1: I might get rejected. He might abandon me, she might

229
00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,240
Speaker 1: abandon me. They may abandon me. That's I'm hearing all

230
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,320
Speaker 1: of these things happening in everything that you're saying.

231
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,679
Speaker 2: And do you know you want to know what that

232
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:07,199
Speaker 2: looks like to me, Yeah, me living in reality, but

233
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,719
Speaker 2: like not the delusion. And I feel like that's the thing.

234
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,520
Speaker 2: The idea of the fairy tale life, the idea that

235
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,920
Speaker 2: someone's going to be with you forever. To me, that

236
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:20,199
Speaker 2: is someone living for this dream that I don't think

237
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,640
Speaker 2: is an obtainable one. At the end of that dream,

238
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:27,160
Speaker 2: it'll be a nightmare. Like so to me, the idea

239
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,199
Speaker 2: that you find this one person, you stay with them

240
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,440
Speaker 2: forever and they're the best things since slice spread and all,

241
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,679
Speaker 2: to me those that's living in delusion. But you know

242
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:39,040
Speaker 2: what it's not, though, Mandy. You have amazing and beautiful

243
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:43,000
Speaker 2: friendships you ready again too, not only and when those

244
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:48,960
Speaker 2: friendships end, heaven forbid. I get to keep my home,

245
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,600
Speaker 2: my bank account, so they don't get to take anything

246
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,320
Speaker 2: from me. When I built again. I've had a business

247
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,120
Speaker 2: that I was excited about, that floors, that was a

248
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,280
Speaker 2: healthy relationship in the beginning that didn't end that way,

249
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,719
Speaker 2: and then things got taken from me. I got that

250
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,560
Speaker 2: that person was someone that I didn't I was like, wow,

251
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,760
Speaker 2: this is the same person. And so for me, having

252
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,480
Speaker 2: even experienced, to me, what is a divorce having to

253
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,160
Speaker 2: go to court, having to deal with lawyers having to

254
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,439
Speaker 2: deal with that. To me, that's what marriage is. And

255
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,480
Speaker 2: so for me too, I believe that I also want

256
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,640
Speaker 2: the autonomy to be able to leave when when I

257
00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,520
Speaker 2: want to, when I can, like to be honest with you,

258
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:29,560
Speaker 2: baby me or we's even grown this thing. We we married,

259
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,720
Speaker 2: and I say it, this is our baby that stayed together.

260
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,720
Speaker 2: But there's been so many times like where I've wanted

261
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,800
Speaker 2: to leave and I'm like, damn, I can't because oh baby,

262
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,320
Speaker 2: lawyers got to get involved. Like, and I think there's

263
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,720
Speaker 2: there's a freedom that I want to always be able

264
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,240
Speaker 2: to have to just go and do what I want

265
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,680
Speaker 2: to do. And so for me, the getting married, Yeah,

266
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,319
Speaker 2: maybe it's coward cowardly to just be able to say

267
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,719
Speaker 2: I want to be able to leave when it gets hard.

268
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,959
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, but nothing about being tied to

269
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,719
Speaker 2: a person, my assets, being tied to a person, my livelihood,

270
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,920
Speaker 2: being at risk of all the things feels healthy for me.

271
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,559
Speaker 2: And I want to be able for my partner to

272
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:06,640
Speaker 2: leave when he wants to leave.

273
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,640
Speaker 1: So I hear everything that you're saying, and everything that

274
00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:11,679
Speaker 1: you're saying is Validle, it's your experience and I will

275
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,240
Speaker 1: never take that away from you. And at the same time,

276
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:18,040
Speaker 1: I think one of the most beautiful opportunities and blessings

277
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:22,320
Speaker 1: inside of love and marriage is it's all a mirror.

278
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:22,840
Speaker 2: Right.

279
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,640
Speaker 1: People are going to hurt us my person. I have

280
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,360
Speaker 1: never had my heart broken in my life.

281
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:28,000
Speaker 2: I have never.

282
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:33,520
Speaker 1: I have never cried over a man. I've what no, no, oh,

283
00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:35,760
Speaker 1: my god, no, I've cried over my lifestyle changing.

284
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,720
Speaker 2: Girl cried. Hell no, I don't. I've never.

285
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,960
Speaker 1: I've never I have, I guess, And to be honest,

286
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,520
Speaker 1: this is my first time because in my past all

287
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,760
Speaker 1: of my relationships were me powerfully choosing, and I was like,

288
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:51,719
Speaker 1: I can build the love.

289
00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,480
Speaker 2: This is the first. You didn't go in loving them.

290
00:13:55,600 --> 00:14:00,280
Speaker 1: I no, I built it. You built love yet mind,

291
00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,000
Speaker 1: this is what I don't think I've ever been in

292
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,439
Speaker 1: love until Brock. Oh, because Brock is the first man

293
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,280
Speaker 1: as my friend. I was like, I'm never talking to

294
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:08,960
Speaker 1: this man again.

295
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:09,840
Speaker 2: He tested me up.

296
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:10,400
Speaker 1: I'm a cancer.

297
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,400
Speaker 2: What makes you say yes to men proposing to you

298
00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:14,559
Speaker 2: if you don't love them?

299
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,199
Speaker 1: I love them, I said, in love with them?

300
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,640
Speaker 2: Reason I need to know No, no, no, no, no, no,

301
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,320
Speaker 2: no no, that's not the man.

302
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 3: No, no.

303
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,440
Speaker 1: And the only reason why I'm saying that is because

304
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,680
Speaker 1: because I like when I walked away, it didn't nothing

305
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:29,600
Speaker 1: really changed for me.

306
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,400
Speaker 2: So let me ask you, what does marriage then mean

307
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,960
Speaker 2: to you? If marriage means that you're in love with

308
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,800
Speaker 2: this person, you want to spend the rest of your

309
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,720
Speaker 2: life with them, what made you say yes to the

310
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,560
Speaker 2: previous two men knowing that you weren't in love with them?

311
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,640
Speaker 2: If marriage to you because union.

312
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,440
Speaker 1: Of marriage wasn't wasn't anything more than the thing that

313
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,080
Speaker 1: you check off in the past. It was all about

314
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,520
Speaker 1: doing what society says, get married, started family, get married,

315
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,880
Speaker 1: start a family. It wasn't about the person. And that's

316
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:59,920
Speaker 1: the problem. If you're after aligned core values similar you know,

317
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,200
Speaker 1: just the way of being alignment, Like if you don't actually,

318
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,200
Speaker 1: if you're not in it with this person that believes

319
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,520
Speaker 1: in on a core heart level what you believe, it's

320
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,680
Speaker 1: never gonna work over time. So I agree with you

321
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,720
Speaker 1: in saying, oh that person is gonna leave all that person,

322
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,760
Speaker 1: this or that person that I can understand where that

323
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,080
Speaker 1: is if you're not choosing the person that's in alignment

324
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:18,280
Speaker 1: for you.

325
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,920
Speaker 2: But that's now the thing too. You are you the

326
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,560
Speaker 2: same person you were at twenty one.

327
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,720
Speaker 1: Absolutely not if this is the thing. But this is

328
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:24,960
Speaker 1: the thing.

329
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,040
Speaker 2: So you're not gonna be the same person right now

330
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,400
Speaker 2: you're thirty seven, Yeah, at forty seven, and you're not

331
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,480
Speaker 2: gonna be the same person.

332
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 1: And that's the beauty of it. This is what I'm saying.

333
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,320
Speaker 1: I think that in my life, and some people are

334
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,760
Speaker 1: gonna misconstrue this and they're gonna make it mean whatever

335
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:43,120
Speaker 1: it means. I don't care, brock, because I've never experienced heartbreaks,

336
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,560
Speaker 1: so I also should say that my meaning of heartbreak

337
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:50,040
Speaker 1: is severe disappointment is probably hurt, like trading.

338
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:50,920
Speaker 2: Maybe not.

339
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:51,920
Speaker 4: But you've never been cheated?

340
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:52,280
Speaker 3: No?

341
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:53,840
Speaker 1: Actually yeah I did one time.

342
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,160
Speaker 2: You only got cheated on one? Well?

343
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, man, I was a couple guys.

344
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 2: Actually no, technically yeah, I only got cheated.

345
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:01,720
Speaker 4: On one time.

346
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,000
Speaker 1: And for me, I wasn't even mad because he was

347
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,600
Speaker 1: weak and I really only cheated treated. I only chose

348
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,920
Speaker 1: him because my dad was sick. And so now I

349
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,880
Speaker 1: was in a rush to get married, and he was like,

350
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,440
Speaker 1: let me marry you, let me this, You're my dream

351
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,520
Speaker 1: garl blah blah. So it was like, Okay, this could

352
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,800
Speaker 1: be the person so that my dad can actually walk

353
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,600
Speaker 1: me down the aisle. So that was my own trauma bonding,

354
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,000
Speaker 1: Like I've really taken the time to sit with myself

355
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,000
Speaker 1: on why certain things have happened.

356
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 2: Right.

357
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,240
Speaker 1: That wasn't even the guy that he asked my dad

358
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 1: for permission to marry me. We never got. That was

359
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,400
Speaker 1: chose two and a half times, right, And when I

360
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 1: said I would engage two and a half times, I

361
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 1: was a half anyway. I say all that to say

362
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,960
Speaker 1: that if you remove betrayal, right, because some people just

363
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 1: get heartbroken because the person they love the most isn't

364
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 1: giving them what they may need in that time, or

365
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,720
Speaker 1: because it ends or whatever insert your word here. I

366
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 1: think in my marriage, Brock will break my heart. I

367
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,040
Speaker 1: think that he will absolutely disappoint me because he's human.

368
00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,320
Speaker 1: I think that he will absolutely let me down or

369
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 1: things that I expected from him. Now, I'm not talking

370
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,160
Speaker 1: about things as trivial as cheating, because that's not who

371
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:09,000
Speaker 1: he is. I'm talking about on a core level, like

372
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,040
Speaker 1: just complete dichotomy of thought process. We are on the

373
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,800
Speaker 1: complete opposite ends of the spectrum. That is hurtful. Why

374
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 1: is it hurtful? Because I don't feel safe when you

375
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,440
Speaker 1: think different from me. But what if the way that

376
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,560
Speaker 1: I was thinking isn't even the best way for me

377
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,359
Speaker 1: to go about things? What if his way is actually

378
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 1: a better way? And sometimes learning that I am the

379
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:30,920
Speaker 1: problem and I am the drama, I break my own

380
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:31,720
Speaker 1: goddamn heart.

381
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 2: Can I ask you? Do you have a boundary set

382
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,240
Speaker 2: for yourself? You said in the last episode, mm hm,

383
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,439
Speaker 2: you will never file for divorce. I'm not filing for device.

384
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,080
Speaker 2: I get that, mm hm, And that's marriage. Yeah, but

385
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,919
Speaker 2: is there anything that he could do? Oh?

386
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've said that. If he starts whooping my ass, Okay,

387
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,919
Speaker 1: but then I'm not divorced. I'm a widow.

388
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 3: Do you feel because one of the things I said

389
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:07,080
Speaker 3: was I'm not scared to leave. I'll always choose myself first.

390
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 3: And you're like that was when you were like, you

391
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 3: don't really want to be married. Now to me, I

392
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 3: don't know how good of a partner we could be

393
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:16,879
Speaker 3: if we won't choose ourselves.

394
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:21,160
Speaker 4: Actually I won't. We had this conversation.

395
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:26,440
Speaker 3: Maybe a few months back where my partner and I

396
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 3: talked about how much we love that we want each

397
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,120
Speaker 3: other so bad right, like the want it's so intense

398
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,359
Speaker 3: sometimes it does begin to feel like a need, and

399
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,600
Speaker 3: he's like, but I know in my heart like you

400
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 3: could hurt me, and I would choose myself.

401
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,240
Speaker 4: And I do too like that that that the mirror

402
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:45,480
Speaker 4: of that.

403
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:50,480
Speaker 3: And I wonder then if acknowledging that you could divorce

404
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,919
Speaker 3: maybe makes you feel like, oh, you're already setting up

405
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:53,160
Speaker 3: to fail.

406
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,199
Speaker 4: You're already saying I'll give up.

407
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,639
Speaker 2: Is that what that sounds like?

408
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,919
Speaker 1: No, I just I don't. I When I think of title, right,

409
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,000
Speaker 1: the title of marriage, or the title of supervisor, or

410
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 1: the title of teacher, it all has certain things that

411
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,879
Speaker 1: are necessary to happen.

412
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 2: Now.

413
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 1: The thing is, when you go into it, you usually

414
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,920
Speaker 1: know what that job requires. Marriage, on the other hand,

415
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 1: they don't teach us. They don't teach us how to

416
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,119
Speaker 1: be married. They don't teach us how to be parents.

417
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 1: They just you just figured it out trial and error. Right,

418
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 1: So for us, we have already started to establish what

419
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 1: is necessary for us to be happily married. And when

420
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,160
Speaker 1: those things start to change, those things start to change.

421
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 1: The three things that I ask him all of the

422
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: time are are you happy? Do you feel desired? Do

423
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,119
Speaker 1: you feel appreciated? And the way that my man is

424
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 1: so direct and blunt. He'll tell me. I'll be like, babe,

425
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 1: I got a booty in these pants and be like nope,

426
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 1: like's is that. He's not going to sugarcoat anything. If

427
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,679
Speaker 1: I say do you feel desired and he's like, oh,

428
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: I want to try that, He's gonna tell me whatever

429
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 1: it is. So for me because I understand what's necessary.

430
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 1: The title is great, but really it's the contents. These

431
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,200
Speaker 1: are the things that have to go in for you

432
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 1: to earn this title. I don't believe I'm ever going

433
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 1: to get divorced because we understand the requirements in order

434
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,120
Speaker 1: to stay happy, the desire to want to come home

435
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,680
Speaker 1: and like actually see your person.

436
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 2: One of the things I go up.

437
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 1: To when he's in the office. I'll go sit on

438
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,320
Speaker 1: his lap and he's big right so his head can

439
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 1: fit right here, and like, you know, like his like

440
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 1: we just match, like we just perfectly match.

441
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it. We're literally just like right here.

442
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 1: And he'll be holding my whole body and then I

443
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 1: squeeze him so tight and I like, look at them.

444
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 1: You know, men try to act like they don't like

445
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 1: all those things. They'd be like stop, I'm like you

446
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,880
Speaker 1: want me to stop. He's like no, and then I'll

447
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 1: like hug him some more, kiss him all over his face,

448
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 1: like I love my man. I love and even And

449
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 1: that being said, we have had some very passionate disagreements.

450
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 1: There's been times where in these moments, I have to

451
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 1: give it to God.

452
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 4: How long have you been together?

453
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 2: Six months? Wait? Wait?

454
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 4: Wait, no, no, not married?

455
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 2: Six months? Six months?

456
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 4: Girl?

457
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, hold on wait six months?

458
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 4: This is not judgment, by the way I was genuinely,

459
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 4: it's not judgment the ship that I do, Sarah.

460
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 3: I go on dates with bitches with my man, and

461
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,400
Speaker 3: we have three ssoms all the time, and you could

462
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 3: be judging me when you get home. This never But

463
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 3: I don't think six months is crazy because you guys

464
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 3: said you were friends first for two years.

465
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,120
Speaker 4: How long do you build that friendship?

466
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 3: Let's get into that, because that, to me is the

467
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,959
Speaker 3: most interesting thing about this relationship.

468
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,359
Speaker 2: Because we got bitches, got a lot of friends. Go

469
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 2: get them. Okay, tell us what how does how does

470
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 2: that happen? How does it one day? How you go

471
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 2: from friends? Never switch?

472
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 1: It never switched. We have always loved each other, but

473
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 1: we didn't trust each other with our hearts and we

474
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 1: always said that to each other, like we would talk

475
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: about like do we want to do this? And he

476
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not ready to settle down, and I'm like,

477
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 1: you ain't about to waste my time. I want marriage.

478
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 1: So I am out here dating now. I believe in celibate,

479
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: see right, not celibacy abstinence. I do not think that

480
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 1: women should sleep with men until they are like officially together,

481
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: exclusively together.

482
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie I'm breaking up with a nigga

483
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 2: if the dick is bad, Like, I don't understand how

484
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 2: you get with somebody before because to me, I said, your.

485
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:18,160
Speaker 4: Saying boyfriend girlfriend.

486
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 2: No, no, I'm not I have a boyfriend girlfriend. Yeah,

487
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 2: that's what I'm saying. Oh, I've made a nigga my

488
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 2: boyfriend right out there, Like okay, but you can't make it.

489
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 2: You men will be like okay, they don't mean it though,

490
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: I don't told no, no, no, no, no, no, you're

491
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 2: my boyfriend and you're gonna let everyone know that you

492
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 2: have a girlfriend. And did they do that?

493
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 1: And did and were they exclusive?

494
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 2: Well, I'm non monogamous, so to me, this exclusive like

495
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 2: does everyone know about me? Yeah? Even the bitches in

496
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 2: the sex club know who the fuck I was. Like like,

497
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 2: like when when you say exclusive, like making this sound

498
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 2: gra the pictures in the sex club. Yeah, because that's

499
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 2: how the bitches knew who the fuck I was. And

500
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 2: so like to me, I'm non monogamous.

501
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: Okay, but do you still have rules? Of course, you

502
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 1: still have a boundary. There's boundary, there's conversations. But you

503
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 1: should know when you keep saying I'm non monogamous, it

504
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 1: makes it sound like this is one of my boyfriends

505
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: and we get to do what we do, but I

506
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 1: also still get to do whatever I want to do

507
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 1: and he gets to do whatever he wants.

508
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 2: But that's the thing, the conversation you know everybody when

509
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 2: not everyone gets to just do it. You don't get

510
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 2: to be out here just fucking bitch is raw and

511
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:26,679
Speaker 2: all like right, there's boundaries set forth for every person involved,

512
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 2: Like like and if you don't want to be here,

513
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 2: I might be sad, but you don't have to be here,

514
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,119
Speaker 2: Like there's a there's a way that I show up

515
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 2: where I'm honest, I make sure that you're happy. I

516
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: check him, Like is everything good? Am I am? I

517
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 2: what you need in your life? As well and vice versa,

518
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 2: Like that's a conversation that's constantly had.

519
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, well then so that's different you. You you're selective.

520
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 1: You are exclusive. You're just exclusive to who you choose.

521
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 1: It's not to one person.

522
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 2: But I don't see how you are being exclusive to

523
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 2: somebody before you know what the dick do? I mean,

524
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 2: because there's the level of are you would you consider

525
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 2: yourself then maybe like and maybe this is okay, But

526
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 2: you're not asexual like like like a hyena like like

527
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 2: you just like you don't need sex. You don't need sex.

528
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 1: No, I know if I have a person, I need

529
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 1: sex like I need sex with But you need the

530
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,719
Speaker 1: person to be your person before you have sex. Yes,

531
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 1: I'm oh wait wait wait yet, walk me through. Okay,

532
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 1: So y'all are friends. We're friends. How does the ring

533
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 1: randomly happen? Okay, so this is what happened. We are

534
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 1: the friends where all of our friends used to say,

535
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: y'all just need to get married. We've always had energy,

536
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 1: we've always always and we talked about it. And he tall, dark, handsome, rich,

537
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: big house, crazy, he got He's girls would do everything

538
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 1: for this man for nothing. They just want to be

539
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: they just want to take a picture by the pool,

540
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 1: take a picture in the mirror. That's that's all these

541
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: girls want to They just want to be able to

542
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 1: say whatever so much. So this is how I'm known

543
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 1: on all of his friends, a lot of women, and

544
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 1: he's because we talk about everything. There's nothing I don't

545
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: know about this man. There's no woman that could come

546
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: up to me and surprise me with shit. I already

547
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 1: know people that come and key key in my face,

548
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 1: like dang, that's crazy, Oh my god, thank you so much.

549
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,360
Speaker 1: You look my podcast. Meanwhile, I already know because he's

550
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: gonna let me know. And if we're in a new

551
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 1: space and there's women that he smashed, because women have

552
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 1: a way of coming up and acting like, oh my god, in.

553
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 2: Love your podcasting, how quick do you want him to

554
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 2: tell you? If you in a room and like, how

555
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 2: quick does he need to tell you I fucked this

556
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 2: many people in this room? How quick does he need

557
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 2: to happen? Because we used to talk about it.

558
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: I mean, it doesn't it doesn't matter, But don't have

559
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 1: her in my face talking about her, like he's probably

560
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 1: gonna tell me why we're at the event. It doesn't

561
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: have to be like, oh my god, that one and

562
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: then that one, and then that one and then that one.

563
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 1: Like it's like as it comes up, it comes up.

564
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: It's not there's no rule to it. It's just don't

565
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: let these girls come play in my face, Like, don't

566
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: do that. And he won't let these girls play in

567
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: my face. So I say that to say that. There

568
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 1: was one party that we went to and one of

569
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: the girls that he used to deal with.

570
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 2: She cried to me.

571
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 1: She cried to me about how she does.

572
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 2: Everything for him.

573
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: She swings from the chandeliers sexually, she wakes him up

574
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: to head, she does this, she doesn't, she cooks, she clean,

575
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,479
Speaker 1: she does everything.

576
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 2: Girl.

577
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 1: She was like, like, I love him, I love him

578
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: so much, and like he just won't commit to me.

579
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: And I told her, like big cys at the time,

580
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,159
Speaker 1: I had no dog in the fight, like I do.

581
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: This is my friend for real. I said, you need

582
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: to raise your standards and set stronger boundaries because he's

583
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: only treating you the way you let him. He's only

584
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,719
Speaker 1: taking what you offer. If somebody offers me a million

585
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 1: dollars for free, I'm taking it. If someone offers me

586
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 1: ten dollars for free, I'm taking it. And if there's

587
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: no strings attached, all I gotta do is just say, oh, yes, sure,

588
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: I'll take that.

589
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 2: I'm taking it.

590
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't a man want to have a situation ship.

591
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 1: I wouldn't a man wanna wanna wanna smash you and

592
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: dash you. Why wouldn't a man take what it is

593
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: that you have to I don't understand. And then women

594
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,439
Speaker 1: say these things like no, oh, he acts like he's

595
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: my boyfriend. No he doesn't, because he told you the words.

596
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: He told you he never wanted anything. He told you

597
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: he's not looking for anything right now. He told you

598
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: he's just seeing how it goes. And you allowed that

599
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: man to waste your time. And that's you looking like

600
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: the female being boo boo, a fool, not this man.

601
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: So for me, I've always known that this man has

602
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 1: been outside when I tell you, he's been outside, and

603
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 1: I love that for him.

604
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 2: Get it out.

605
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: And then he started slowing down, tapering off, still having

606
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: you know, the few that he picked from and whatever whatever.

607
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 1: So it was the shift for him, then it was

608
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: for both of us because I was dating someone else.

609
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 1: And what really flipped me upside down was Costa Rica.

610
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: We went to Costa Rica for my birthday, me and

611
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: a group of friends. Now, when we went to Costa Rica,

612
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be bringing a man on this trip.

613
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: That was my man.

614
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 4: Okay, that was over.

615
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: So we're a month out from my Costa Rica trip

616
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 1: and he was supposed to be bringing a girl. And

617
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: as soon as I wasn't bringing my guy, my cousin

618
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: and my sister called him and said, please don't bring

619
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 1: no hole on this trip. And he was like, nah,

620
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 1: if Sarah, Sarah, if Sarah don't want somebody to bring,

621
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: don't want me to bring somebody, and she needs to

622
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: tell me herself. And I was like, I ain't saying nothing.

623
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: I ain't saying that was my ego, right, like if

624
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 1: you want to bring somebody, bring somebody. And then I

625
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 1: was like, okay, please don't bring no meaningless hole on

626
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 1: this trip. So he was like, okay, I'm not going

627
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 1: to bring anybody on this trip. When we were in

628
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 1: Costa Rica. He had several he had options, you know,

629
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 1: but when we were in Costa Rica, that was my

630
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 1: man in Costa Rica. And not from a sense of

631
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: like like a sexual thing, because we've always had we've

632
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 1: always had energy, like everybody, the way he looks out

633
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: for me, the way he takes care of me. I

634
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: don't even really drink, but if he threw a kickback

635
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: or we would go out, he's the one that would

636
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: put me in an uber and make sure that I

637
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 1: get home. He's the one that's that that is being

638
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: like Okay, when we were in Costa Rica, we had

639
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: this drink called the Sarah's right because I don't really drink,

640
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: but it's like Irish cream with a rum and Coca cola.

641
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 2: It was so good.

642
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 4: It was so good.

643
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 2: It was.

644
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 1: So good. But I say that to say that while

645
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: we were out there because we had a chef, and

646
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: we had a bartender, and we had like you know,

647
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: all the which MC call it, what are they called

648
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: the butler. So we had the because we have like

649
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 1: this three holp mansioned out separate parts villa in Cosa.

650
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: Rego's incredible. And so he tells the bartender, don't put

651
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: any more rum in her drinks. She's done. Just pour

652
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 1: her the little kolua in uh in which Irish cream

653
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 1: and the coke. Because I'm not a drinker and I'm

654
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: over here getting lit every day for my birthday that's

655
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 1: not even like me. And he took care of me

656
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: every night, and I took advantage. He made sure that

657
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: I was good, and so it was. It was we

658
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: were so in sync on that trip that we were like,

659
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 1: what are we gonna do when we get back home?

660
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: This is July of this year, by the way, but

661
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: last year, sorry, this is my birthday last year. And

662
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: we're like, dang, like, I don't know. So we go

663
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 1: back home and when we get back home, he's doing

664
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: what he's doing. I still have another person that I'm dating,

665
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: So now don't about to go.

666
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 2: I'm over here like I don't know what to do.

667
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: This man is talking to me about marriage and you

668
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: want me to be your girlfriend. No, I'm not doing that.

669
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: I want to be a wife.

670
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 4: So that's what who's talking about marriage?

671
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 2: The other guy that I was dating?

672
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: Okay, girl, So brock that's July August. We start having

673
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 1: a conversation again, like, well what do you think about

674
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 1: this August of last year?

675
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 2: Now he said, well what are we No, No, that

676
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 2: I want to be I want to be a wife.

677
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 3: No.

678
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 1: We start we have the conversation of like, man like,

679
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: like where do we go from here? Because now to

680
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm talking to somebody else, but I'm thinking

681
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: about him. I had never experienced him like that before.

682
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 1: You know, it's always like I like, it's always been

683
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: you know, cat and mouse.

684
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 4: I know that person must think you're crazy because.

685
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: Before even the dick. Now you're thinking about because he

686
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 2: was nice to you.

687
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: No, not because he was nice. It's how in sync

688
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: we were.

689
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 2: But y'all were friends for two years before this. But

690
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 2: you had always been in sync, right, not like that,

691
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 2: not like that.

692
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: We've always had energy though, like for sure, but this

693
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: was different.

694
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,320
Speaker 2: So August comes, You're like, I want to be a wife. No.

695
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: So August comes and we having a conversation again, and

696
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: he's like, uh, you gotta I'm just going quote please

697
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: bleep you bleep out cuss words.

698
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 2: No, girl, we a is not bleeping out your goddamn

699
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 2: curse curse. I'm yeah, this is this is a quote

700
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: from my man. Okay.

701
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: So he says to me, because at the time, I'm

702
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: dating a whole other person who is a great man,

703
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: well off man, handsome man, a good man, a god

704
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: fearing man.

705
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 2: Girl, and he's he's.

706
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: Like, he really was just a good man, and and

707
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: Brock told me you you need to let that nigga go.

708
00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: And I said, first word is nigga.

709
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 2: No, not yet, I ain't.

710
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 1: We ain't got there.

711
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't say that either, go on,

712
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 2: not on public platform. Okay, it is what it is.

713
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 2: He said, you need to let him go.

714
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: I said, I said, do you understand what you're trying

715
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: to tell me to do? And he was like, I

716
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: said what I said. I said, I'm not letting go

717
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: of nobody, and tell you let go of folks. And

718
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 1: so now it's a whole other week of conversation about

719
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 1: letting people go.

720
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 2: Well, we about to do this and the other.

721
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, so then it's a real conversation. I'll never

722
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: forget this. We're in the theater room at the house

723
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: and he said, you need to let that man go.

724
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 1: And this is on August twelfth. Okay, this is going

725
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: to be in my mind forever. August twelfth. He said,

726
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: you need to let that man go. I said, I

727
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 1: am not letting go of a marriage minded man to

728
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: be your girlfriend. I love you, but if I'm not

729
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: what you want, just be my friend, you know what

730
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: I mean. Like, it's okay, you could be my friend,

731
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 1: this friendship. Yeah, be my friend because I know we

732
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 1: can't we can't relocked in. I've already tried to get

733
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: rid of you.

734
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 2: One time.

735
00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 1: I told me lowered my stock.

736
00:32:59,160 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 2: He got mad.

737
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm never talking to her again, like she does.

738
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 1: This is why we were friends. We've been through it

739
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: as friends. This is what I'm saying, like I know

740
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 1: this man for real, for real anyway. So August twelfth,

741
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 1: he said, you need to let that man go. I said,

742
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: do you get what you're telling me? Like again, like,

743
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: do you understand what you're telling me? He said, fuck that, nigga.

744
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: I said, excuse me, like, do you understand what you're

745
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,479
Speaker 1: like you're saying, let go of a man that's marriage

746
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: minded for you because you're ready for commitment. He said, like,

747
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 1: I said, fuck that, nigga, And I was like, oh okay.

748
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 1: So the very next day I sent a message and

749
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: I let that man know. But you cut the man

750
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: off before you got the ring. Yeah, cause he said,

751
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,959
Speaker 1: oh no, girl, Oh no, it gets it gets crazier.

752
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: Did you guys have a kiss yet?

753
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 2: Yeah?

754
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: Well, we were in skits together, so we had over.

755
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 2: We were in fuck kids together. He's my love interest

756
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 2: in skits. No don't care.

757
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 1: No, No, a real life kiss, it's not an acting work.

758
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 1: In Costa Rica, we kissed for sure. Okay, okay, yeah,

759
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: in Costa Rica, we definite. So that's what kept him

760
00:33:59,600 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: on in mind.

761
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 2: You didn't rub the crotch, No, you just you didn't

762
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 2: know where. It's nothing.

763
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 4: I think she's in self rocks clot.

764
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 1: So that was August telth I let go of the dude,

765
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: and then August eighteenth we got married. Wait, six days later,

766
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 1: August eighteenth, he called my dad somewhere in there and

767
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 1: asked them for permission to marry me. My whole family

768
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 1: knows him, all my friends know him, his mama. When

769
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 1: he called his mom, he called his mom and said, Mom,

770
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 1: I'm getting married.

771
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:35,720
Speaker 2: She said, to who, Sarah?

772
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,720
Speaker 1: Everybody anybody that he told. Everybody was like to Sarah.

773
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:42,239
Speaker 1: When I was like, I'm getting married, they were like

774
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 1: to who, like which one of them?

775
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 3: You know? Like?

776
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 1: But I was like to Brock, And when I tell you,

777
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 1: my parents are so happy because Brock is like, he's like,

778
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 1: he's a husband already. You know, he actually wants to

779
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: be a husband, He wants to be a father. He

780
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 1: wants to have a fan family. He wants to have like.

781
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 4: Fix my face.

782
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 2: Are you shocked? I ain't. Oh this sounds crazy. It

783
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 2: is crazy. Y'all want to say you're not traditional meetings.

784
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 3: I will tell you this, Sarah, my face is stuck right.

785
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 3: Yeah my mom my parents are still together. They've been

786
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 3: married about thirty seven years. Yeah, she had a husband

787
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 3: that she married the day she might have remember, and

788
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:23,399
Speaker 3: they were together eight years.

789
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 2: Not saying that you guys won't make it forever. I

790
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 2: just meant to say, oh, you can last. The only

791
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 2: reason I'm uh is because so you're getting to know him,

792
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: and I know you believe because on a relational level.

793
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 1: Yes it's different, and I'm learning him on a completely

794
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,360
Speaker 1: different completely and that in the past has been a

795
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 1: lot of our a lot of our challenges. Now I'll

796
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 1: say this too, because you have to tiptoe around me.

797
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 1: I know who I chose. I know when he's grumpy,

798
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 1: I know when he's irritated, I know when he's happy.

799
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 1: I know when he's not saying anything, but I see

800
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 1: his mind.

801
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 4: I know this man days.

802
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 2: But you guys, within those six days before getting married,

803
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 2: you're telling me there was like y'all got married six days.

804
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 2: Pre nup conversation, kink conversation, fetish conversation, Like there's still

805
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: so many other layers.

806
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 1: But also I feel like even as far as like

807
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 1: sex before. So when we would be on set and

808
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 1: it's really like a bunch of friends on set shooting

809
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 1: at my condo, right, we would have a lot of

810
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: different types of conversations. We would have conversations about pre nups,

811
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 1: post nups. We would have conversations about king kin fetishes.

812
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 1: We would have because it was really just all of

813
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: my closest friends and play Yeah we just shot, Yeah

814
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 1: we're just shooting or whatever.

815
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 4: Have you seen the clip? I think I shared it

816
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 4: with you. A man doesn't, by the way, do not believe.

817
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 1: Already know what you're gonna say. A man doesn't choose

818
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: who he loves the most.

819
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 2: A man's ready, Yes, now he's ready. I believe that's

820
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 2: it's all. It's all timing with me.

821
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, does not make you feel good?

822
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 2: Question and then what are you doing? Go ahead? Like spicy,

823
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 2: I actually do believe you're in love with each other.

824
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 3: I don't think it's just to you. I think you're

825
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:15,919
Speaker 3: in love with each other. But doesn't make you feel

826
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 3: maybe now because now we're in February, so now you

827
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 3: feel it more. Did you not feel a little bit

828
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 3: invalidated by August eighteenth of like he wants to.

829
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:26,839
Speaker 4: Get married to somebody.

830
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 3: I'm a good woman. I'm a beautiful woman. I'm a

831
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 3: smart woman. He's choosing me because I'm it, I'm who

832
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 3: it is. No, because it's now, Like, yeah, tell.

833
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 4: Me how that made you feel?

834
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 2: Because I'm very fairy tale dreamland of like.

835
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 3: I want to feel it, I want to growl it,

836
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 3: I want to man yours was like, yeah, yeah, how

837
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 3: does that make you feel? Because that clip of that

838
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,919
Speaker 3: man that we all just referenced, A man doesn't marry

839
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 3: the person he loves the most.

840
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: He marries a woman who's there when he's ready.

841
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 3: Absolutely, now, you were there when he was ready, because

842
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 3: he chose you as this person, no matter how many

843
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 3: women would dine in and cry.

844
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think he was all the way ready

845
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 1: when he chose me. Firstly, I think that he.

846
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 2: Was just more scared to losing man.

847
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 1: Yes, that's what I and that's what he says. He

848
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: says Number one the reason why he didn't dive into

849
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 1: a relationship with me ahead of time was because he

850
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 1: knew he was on his bullshit and he didn't want

851
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 1: to mishandle me, and he told me that before. He

852
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 1: was like, I've never wanted to mishandle you, which was

853
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:22,800
Speaker 1: one of the reasons why it was like, Okay, we

854
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 1: got energy. But also, I'm dealing with this guy and

855
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 1: this guy and this guy, and we both we all

856
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: all of the things like I don't. And then also,

857
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: I'm not so naive as to think that I'm any

858
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: more special than other women. I think he and I

859
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: make sense because we make sense. I think that he

860
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: also was probably with other women that he could have

861
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 1: chose if he wanted to get ready.

862
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 3: To see a woman watching this that stated him at

863
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 3: some point that's seeing Yeah, and it's so interesting, Like

864
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 3: think about it. I'm not even trying to be funny

865
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,359
Speaker 3: and bring up other business. Yeah, I'm dead ass here.

866
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 4: She's just like what the fuck? Yeah, it's it's mind blowing.

867
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 3: And also, I think the thing I would feel the

868
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 3: most insecure about is not that Brock would leave me,

869
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 3: not that Brock would cheat on me.

870
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 4: It's that holy shit, it was that fast. The speed

871
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:13,320
Speaker 4: would scare me. Does the speed. Do you think anybody

872
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 4: should do this? Do you think other people should do this?

873
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 4: Do you think what you did?

874
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 2: You think I'm gonna come in tomorrow? Mary? Why I think?

875
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 2: I don't know.

876
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 1: I don't feel insecure about our timeline at all, because

877
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: he was already my friend. And I can, honestly and

878
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: with confidence say, because I reflect on everything, where am

879
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: I the drama? Where am I the problem? Where am

880
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:35,879
Speaker 1: I good? Where am I bad? What's working?

881
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 2: What's not?

882
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 1: And I realized that for the first time in my

883
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 1: adult life, this wasn't me powerfully choosing someone and building love.

884
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,280
Speaker 1: This was someone I already loved that now I'm powerfully

885
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 1: choosing and that made all the difference. I love the

886
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: hell out of this man. Now I just get to

887
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: have sex with him as well. Now I just get

888
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: to say I'm his wife as well. Now I just

889
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 1: get to all of these different even like even if

890
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 1: if we were to get into you know, start because

891
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: we're starting our own little like meat the shorts, because

892
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: we're quirky, we're corny, Okay, I live a life corn

893
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: on the cob, baby. And the funniest part to me

894
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: is women will say, oh, I don't like him. He's corny,

895
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: not my man, but I don't like him. He's corny,

896
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 1: he's a stampede.

897
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:17,320
Speaker 4: That what what is that?

898
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,360
Speaker 1: A man that is thoughtful, a man that's compassionate, a

899
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: man that thinks about you, a man that's not disrespecting you.

900
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: That's why these women out here are single.

901
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,320
Speaker 4: Girl, My man brings me flowers every Saturday.

902
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 2: Right.

903
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 4: And there was literally a bitch that said.

904
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 3: And I remember it, I said it on another podcast

905
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,280
Speaker 3: and she was like, so it really makes flowers not special?

906
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 2: Bit what the fuck?

907
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:39,399
Speaker 3: Uh? Yes, so flowers aren't special because he gives them

908
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:40,439
Speaker 3: to me too much?

909
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 2: Are you fucking high?

910
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:42,839
Speaker 4: Women are?

911
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 2: Women are nuts? Like crazy to me? Yeah, y'all y'all

912
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 2: been crazy to me. Y'll like, women are just crazy?

913
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 2: Hold off, I am I agree with you. I'm all I'm.

914
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: Saying is I know I'm untraditional, but I feel confident

915
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 1: in my choice. And I will also say, you know, honestly,

916
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 1: like I'm married to my best friend for real. And

917
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 1: that's also why I say guys and girls can't just

918
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 1: be friends because because you.

919
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 2: Done came out say that, we haven't been in my

920
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 2: friends zone. He was giving even though we were friends

921
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 2: and the bitches he was fucking was coming to crow

922
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,360
Speaker 2: of me. They didn't have it.

923
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 4: Podcast knows your story right? Yeah?

924
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:24,839
Speaker 2: Have you wait?

925
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 1: They didn't know we were already married.

926
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 3: She kept that, seeing, how what are some of the

927
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 3: things you've seen thus far? Have you seen hurtful stuff

928
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 3: from him?

929
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 2: No? From just comments people. Have you seen something hurt

930
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

931
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, we did a podcast episode. I wouldn't say hurtful

932
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 1: because I don't give a damn like like I don't

933
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,399
Speaker 1: was rude someone being rude?

934
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah all the time. Girl.

935
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,800
Speaker 1: On my wedding day, I had some woman send me

936
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: a screenshot of a conversation that they had in the

937
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 1: d MS from twenty twenty four, saying, Hey, girl, you

938
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 1: just seem like a really nice woman, and I just

939
00:41:59,080 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: wanted to share this.

940
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 2: She said.

941
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 1: We never met up or anything, but I just wanted

942
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: you to know.

943
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: Now he like the that y'all was illman on my

944
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 2: wedding day day. We never met, but I just wanted

945
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 2: you to know. Wanted me to know what that y'all

946
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 2: was dming each other.

947
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: Though, and they never even hooked.

948
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 4: You're gonna follow you so I can see this mess girl.

949
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 2: And not only not even that I'm gonna fallow back to.

950
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:23,839
Speaker 2: It's not a mess.

951
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 4: I mean, what's what's to come? Because you know they're coming.

952
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 2: I'm they've been coming. Wait what else? What else have

953
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,759
Speaker 2: they tried to? Oh my god, I've got y'all be

954
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 2: just be acting like ooh black love. Y'all want to

955
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 2: see a crumball? They do?

956
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: Y'all?

957
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 2: Do they really like to see? People have cut that?

958
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 1: Your friends were gorgeous. You look so happy this man.

959
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 1: We did a dance like our first dance. We did

960
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: a dance at our wedding like. It was so special

961
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 1: for me because it was the song Blight and then

962
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 1: it turned into usher.

963
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 2: There it goes, my baby. It was from Twilight, like

964
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: a c like vampires and be wolves. Yes, girl, yes, yes,

965
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 2: y'all both like Twilight. No no, no, he doesn't.

966
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: I chose a song that's another thing too like and

967
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:14,720
Speaker 1: sometimes it was frustrating, but Twilight, Yes, it's so pretty.

968
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: I can't play it because I don't want this to

969
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: give me monetize, but sing it. Sing it gives me

970
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 1: so music. It's like pianos because we did like a

971
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 1: like a walty type of and.

972
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 4: You guys had already been having sex and that still happened.

973
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,800
Speaker 1: Wait what because you guys have said they have just like, no, no,

974
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: we we had sex after our wedding day. The only

975
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: reason why we did before our wedding day.

976
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 2: August eighteen wasn't what you didn't fuck when he married

977
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,879
Speaker 2: you on the eighteen No, I was, y'all didn't funk

978
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:42,839
Speaker 2: after the court rope.

979
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: I was on my cycle.

980
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,719
Speaker 2: Oh bitch, y'all married?

981
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 3: Now?

982
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 2: Are you a better fuck through that blood? Wait? One

983
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 2: motherfucking moment? How long until he y'all? Y'all got married

984
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 2: on August eighteen?

985
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:53,439
Speaker 3: Yeah?

986
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 2: When was? When the fuck was the wedding February fifteenth?

987
00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 2: You don't even know. We didn't wait till the wedding.

988
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 2: I didn't say that.

989
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 1: That's no, no, no, no, no, howld only August twentieth,

990
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:07,879
Speaker 1: August night, as soon as my cycle was over.

991
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,320
Speaker 2: You wouldn't even let your husband fuck you with blood?

992
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: I'm open, he don't do that. He's okay, okay.

993
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:19,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm look. Look, we was just like, I would

994
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 1: never do that.

995
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 2: I would never do that. So he still had to

996
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 2: wait two days?

997
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 4: That's crazy. I know you like to wait. Can you

998
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:27,839
Speaker 4: just walk me through.

999
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, the ring didn't exist yet either, right, we know

1000
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 2: it didn't. Okay, wait he proposed you August.

1001
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 3: Twel you just wake up that morning and say let's

1002
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,399
Speaker 3: do it because you knew you said let's get married.

1003
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 3: I'm getting married, mom, blah blah blah. Was that like

1004
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:45,800
Speaker 3: like August eighteenth was just the day that y'all.

1005
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 2: Went to the courthouse?

1006
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 1: No, actually, because August twelfth is when we made the

1007
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 1: decision that I liked the number eight one eight?

1008
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 2: Oh girl, not you wanted to be colleage Jenners. I

1009
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 2: don't know, I'm not like right minus three. By the way,

1010
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 2: that's my parents wedding anniversary, it candled, yeh is the

1011
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:07,399
Speaker 2: Kodashian to kill?

1012
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: Okay, well is our anniversary or whatever? And yeah, I

1013
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 1: just wanted to I wanted to have it on that day.

1014
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: So we actually ended up waiting until that day.

1015
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 2: Wow, well you don't like it, you crazy? You have

1016
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:24,919
Speaker 2: a nigga some kouchie to what she said.

1017
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 3: So okay, this makes less of it because last week

1018
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,280
Speaker 3: when we had Sarah on and we were waiting till marriage,

1019
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 3: it's not really waiting, no, but so do you wait

1020
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 3: till the eighteen it happens you move in that night.

1021
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 1: No, but I never really went back home. So so

1022
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 1: I had a condo. I literally just got rid of

1023
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: my condo and started moving all my stuff into the house.

1024
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: And yeah, did any of your friends be like you

1025
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 1: are crazy? No, all of them were like it there

1026
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 1: because everybody, when I tell you, everybody, I.

1027
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 3: Don't think that the proposed that let's do this is crazy.

1028
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:12,800
Speaker 3: I think what would sound crazy to me is like

1029
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,240
Speaker 3: the timeline because of the other person.

1030
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was I, yeah, I get it. It is crazy.

1031
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:25,399
Speaker 1: It is absolutely bananas. And also we figured it out,

1032
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:27,919
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's willingness, and your age

1033
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 1: plays a part in it being absolutely how did he

1034
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 1: the same age? We're both the seven And that's the

1035
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 1: thing too. It's so funny because someone actually commented the

1036
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 1: other day on one of my videos and they were

1037
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 1: like as if because they tried to say how Cam

1038
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 1: came on the podcast and said on the podcast that

1039
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 1: I bullied him into marrying me.

1040
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 3: He did say that, Yeah, I don't. I did not

1041
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,400
Speaker 3: bully any I said this is my story with the bully,

1042
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 3: because you don't want to let the other guy go.

1043
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 2: No. No, Basically, saying like, we're not going to be

1044
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 2: together at all unless you marry.

1045
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 1: Me, right, But it wasn't that at all. It was

1046
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 1: this is my standard. I desire to be a wife.

1047
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 1: If you don't want to be a husband, just be

1048
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 1: my friend and I don't have to lose you.

1049
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 3: Maybe I lost something. Then it sounded like marriage was

1050
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 3: what you wanted, but it didn't sound like be my

1051
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 3: husband or nothing. Was that it?

1052
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 2: No, it wasn't.

1053
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 4: I didn't know that.

1054
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 2: Well Cam did because he did my podcast.

1055
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:26,760
Speaker 3: Also, maybe he rock you know, actually speaking of marriage

1056
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 3: and Cam, I watched, by the way, Lexandrea stars on

1057
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 3: that show, fucking hilarious.

1058
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 2: Funny, silly, cheeky, great job.

1059
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 4: And also breaking him down a little bit and letting

1060
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 4: him get comfortable.

1061
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 3: I was so embarrassed watching him talk about marriage and

1062
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 3: Jazzmine and I like her.

1063
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 2: I like her too.

1064
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 3: I like watching her clips. I think she's not the

1065
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 3: brightest person all the time for the things that she

1066
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 3: said about Cam.

1067
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:55,880
Speaker 2: No, but I like her.

1068
00:47:56,080 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and watching him comment on this relationship and just

1069
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 3: kind of how it's whatever and wants to be sure,

1070
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 3: how dare you? She literally went on Shan Boody's podcast

1071
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 3: and not only had the world laughing at her about

1072
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,840
Speaker 3: how she takes care of him, which, by the way.

1073
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 2: She said something that I do. I'm gonna pack my

1074
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 2: man's bag. I'm gonna do all that little stuff. I love.

1075
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 3: I love the catering. I don't think it makes you

1076
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,439
Speaker 3: a simple bitch at all. If you like that shit,

1077
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:25,439
Speaker 3: you're just that type of person.

1078
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 2: Pick me, pick me.

1079
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:28,240
Speaker 4: Whatever God chosen.

1080
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: Also, by the way, huh, go ahead, keep you said

1081
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: God chosen. Yeah, you're chosen.

1082
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 2: She chosen. I do the same thing. But I was

1083
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 2: mad when when Kim came on to your show. I

1084
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 2: was mad at you with everything he said about marriage

1085
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 2: is what I believe in?

1086
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 1: Now?

1087
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 2: Do I believe it that? Do I believe that he

1088
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 2: should have made three women baby mamas?

1089
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 3: No?

1090
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 2: But again, there are women that might not want marriage.

1091
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 2: Maybe Jazz isn't pressing him to be married. But that's

1092
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. Not every woman wants marriage, So y'all

1093
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 2: are society right now?

1094
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 1: No?

1095
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, no, she may not want marriage.

1096
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,399
Speaker 3: The woman that made the comment about folding every little

1097
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 3: piece of I will.

1098
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,320
Speaker 2: I will fold my man's clothes and spread his cheeks

1099
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 2: wide and lick it to the heavens. Just because I

1100
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 2: go above and beyond to show how much I love

1101
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,399
Speaker 2: my man doesn't mean I want to be a Why

1102
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 2: I believe that there are women that do not want

1103
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 2: to be a wife. And if she and he sat

1104
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 2: there and said she doesn't want for nothing, she's a mom,

1105
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 2: do I think that maybe there's ways that he doesn't

1106
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 2: show up for her emotionally? Yes, because she also sat

1107
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 2: on a panel and talked about feeling exhausted that she

1108
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 2: just had a baby and wasn't getting out. Mandy, she's

1109
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 2: had how many children with him too? And you think

1110
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 2: that she doesn't want a worn and has a baby

1111
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 2: with a kid doesn't necessarily mean they want to be

1112
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 2: the wife to them. Mandy, she's got two, so and

1113
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 2: there's three. There's two other women who have three by him.

1114
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 4: And can you imagine how that feels?

1115
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 2: I can I can't imagine. Yes, But here's the thing,

1116
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 2: and that that's where not getting married is believable, not

1117
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 2: from her, well and why but you don't know her.

1118
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 2: I'm literally telling you, I don't think this girl is

1119
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 2: a dumb dumb I do believe just said she's not

1120
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,879
Speaker 2: the brightest thing she's not the brightest thing all the time.

1121
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 3: But I think she's made comments that are let me

1122
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 3: just cut this, I don't think she's a dumb. Dumb

1123
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 3: if you have two children by a man and wouldn't

1124
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 3: take marriage to secure your children, your future, your place

1125
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:28,879
Speaker 3: in their life, and not literally only frankly, their livelihood,

1126
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:29,839
Speaker 3: you are a dumb.

1127
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 2: Marriage does not secure that. That's saying that you're huj

1128
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:35,240
Speaker 2: Buster's wife. For example, there are a lot of women

1129
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 2: who married, who had children by a man that at

1130
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,560
Speaker 2: the end of that marriage are not being taken care of,

1131
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 2: are not in a secure place because they're no longer married.

1132
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,759
Speaker 2: Marriage is not the solution to being secure forever, whether

1133
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 2: you are a baby mom or not a man that

1134
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 2: literally sit here married.

1135
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 4: There's mostly than what she got now.

1136
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 2: But this idea of closeness, this idea of a hiarchy

1137
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 2: of a relationship, like.

1138
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 1: Not just say one thing though, because the only that

1139
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: I don't understand and we got to it a little bit.

1140
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,360
Speaker 2: Don't get on enough podcast. We got to hear Jasmine.

1141
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,479
Speaker 1: I would love to hear Jasmine talk. Hell, you gotta

1142
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: do a group circle of trying to understand that.

1143
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 2: We have to be able to believe her. I try

1144
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 2: to understand the way you believe that. I don't want

1145
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 2: to be married because I have reasons, but I no.

1146
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 1: No, no, But I do think Mandy, I think you're

1147
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: scared of marriage. I think you would be.

1148
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 2: Married nobody taking my ship, like even that's not marriage.

1149
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 1: No, it's not your marriage when you combined shit like

1150
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 1: thats how you've created. But that is not marriage. Marriage

1151
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,399
Speaker 1: is a covenant under whatever God you believe in, where

1152
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: you are committed to this person for me, for you

1153
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,879
Speaker 1: to have those those experiences to witness.

1154
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:42,439
Speaker 2: Without signing a piece of paper.

1155
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 1: I mean, whether whether or not you sign a piece

1156
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:45,560
Speaker 1: of paper or not, that's not that's not my point.

1157
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 2: My point. Wearing a ring doesn't make it calling a

1158
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 2: nigg of my hubby and I'm his Wifey like this idea,

1159
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 2: and that's the thing, like so as a marriage has

1160
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 2: more security for family. But that's why I said that.

1161
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 2: But can sound like society. This idea is.

1162
00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:59,879
Speaker 1: This is my point. The only thing that I would

1163
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 1: I don't y'all know me. I'm not judging. I don't

1164
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 1: care what anybody does with they life. Y'all do you

1165
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do me. Look I got married in six days,

1166
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, who am I to

1167
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,439
Speaker 1: tell who or how to do what? What I will

1168
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 1: say is the thing that hurts my heart with this

1169
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 1: relationship because I know you could tell Cam loves her,

1170
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 1: and I don't know her at all, I would assume

1171
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:24,360
Speaker 1: that obviously she loves him, And the way that society is,

1172
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:28,400
Speaker 1: I don't understand why when we're all saying did she

1173
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 1: want to be married?

1174
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 2: Does she want to be married?

1175
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 1: Because Cam said on my podcast, yes, she probably does

1176
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 1: want to be married. Most women want to be married.

1177
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 1: So if he's saying that on the show, and we

1178
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 1: could probably equate that to she does also want to

1179
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 1: be married, then why why allow society to talk about

1180
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 1: her that?

1181
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 2: Well, well, I'm not gonna lie just because this is

1182
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 2: a no kink shaming podcast. They she may have a

1183
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 2: humiliation kick that's oh, I've what, I'll stick it up art.

1184
00:52:55,960 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 2: She may have a humiliation Yes, it is. He was

1185
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:03,320
Speaker 2: on the goddamn internet every week and embarrasses her. She

1186
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 2: might get off by that and suck his dick when

1187
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 2: he come. Oh my god, they're talking so much about

1188
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:10,879
Speaker 2: me fucking out like she might. No, No, there could

1189
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:13,479
Speaker 2: be a humiliation kick. This could be a thing where

1190
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 2: they joke about the internet not getting them. This might

1191
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,319
Speaker 2: be why she is no longer that voice that went

1192
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 2: on stage that created skits. She may be someone that

1193
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 2: likes to be like y'all could say whatever y'all want.

1194
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 2: This man loved me down, and to be fair, whether

1195
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 2: we think it's embarrassing or not, that man loves her

1196
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:33,400
Speaker 2: down and has and tells it all like he's chosen her.

1197
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 2: She's good, She don't want all the things.

1198
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 3: We know that there's one place that he won't go

1199
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 3: with her, and it's marriage and his answer to it

1200
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 3: even but I just the fact that lex Andrea can

1201
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 3: sit there and get you stumbled about.

1202
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 4: A woman you live with and have two children with.

1203
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 2: What was the stumbling?

1204
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:54,320
Speaker 3: Well, I you know what I mean, Maybe it was

1205
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,880
Speaker 3: just like it wasn't even just a clear clutt and

1206
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:01,319
Speaker 3: also to that point of being embarrassing talking about being sure,

1207
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 3: how dare you put two children.

1208
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 2: In me, make life with me and then act as

1209
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 2: though you weren't sure? If I could even have a

1210
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:13,360
Speaker 2: paper from you, what does the paper me? That's what

1211
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 2: we're talking about. I'm just making marriage basic in terms

1212
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 2: of paper you love me.

1213
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 3: I'm this, I'm good enough to be here, I'm good

1214
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 3: enough to make your meals, fuck, raise your children.

1215
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 2: Fucking do everything for you.

1216
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, that be your partner, but you're not sure about that. Yeah,

1217
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 4: that to me is a slap in the face.

1218
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 1: That's tough and for me. For me, I'm not gonna

1219
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 1: say what's a slap in the face or what's humiliating.

1220
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 1: All I'm saying is the internet goes in on her.

1221
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 1: And one way that that could drastically change is if

1222
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 1: he married the girl. Because if she really is, like

1223
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 1: he said on my podcast, the tip of the spear,

1224
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 1: no one's above her, she is the number one? Then

1225
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 1: why continue to allow people to talk about.

1226
00:54:55,480 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 2: This conversation reminds me of how paitch archy has us

1227
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 2: fucking brainwashed, because the fact that then you're saying everyone

1228
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 2: will stop talking about her if he puts a ring

1229
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 2: on her finger reminds me that because I've chosen not

1230
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 2: to be married, society is always gonna look at me.

1231
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:15,919
Speaker 2: Is bit you boo bootaful? But you less than bitch

1232
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 2: because a man didn't put this on your finger? And

1233
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 2: y'all are y'all are infiltrating something that removes the autonomy

1234
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 2: of women now not having to just be wives and

1235
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 2: most paid the fact if there's a power dynamic in

1236
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 2: that specific relationship that we could see like we see it,

1237
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,760
Speaker 2: so to me, it's not patriarchal. There's a power dynamic.

1238
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 2: We watched her talk about submissiveness, so.

1239
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 3: We already are creating the patriarchy in the way she

1240
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 3: described their relationship.

1241
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 2: We talk about sub and dom even again from again,

1242
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 2: if I even go into the human humiliation king, you've

1243
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,919
Speaker 2: also said here as someone who's more sub the sub

1244
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 2: has more power than the dom. You've sat here and said,

1245
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 2: in my submissiveness, I hold the power. I get to

1246
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 2: run the shots. So if we've talked, if we've seen

1247
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:03,480
Speaker 2: her talk about it, and if we've sat here and

1248
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:06,879
Speaker 2: talked and seen we've talked about submissiveness, is someone coming

1249
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 2: in to be the cleaner, and like, there's so many

1250
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,359
Speaker 2: ways to be submissive, And when she said I packed

1251
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:14,320
Speaker 2: that man's luggage, if he wants me to turn on

1252
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:15,800
Speaker 2: the light when he walks in the room, there's a

1253
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 2: submission thing. But we've talked about submissives actually being the

1254
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 2: more powerful one in the relationship. And so for me,

1255
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,160
Speaker 2: we can't say that and then feel like there's this

1256
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,439
Speaker 2: power dynamic that's not there because she doesn't have a ring.

1257
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 1: I think she should just come out and say she

1258
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:31,800
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be married. And I think if she

1259
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: just came out and said to.

1260
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:34,919
Speaker 2: Get y'all from stop talking shit.

1261
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 1: No, if she doesn't want to be married, then all

1262
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 1: of this makes sense and you're one thousand percent right.

1263
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,279
Speaker 1: But if she does desire to be married, then she

1264
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 1: is already moving like a wife. She's given him children,

1265
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 1: she cleans the house, she does this, she does everything.

1266
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:51,919
Speaker 1: And this goes back to why I don't think people

1267
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: should live together before they're married. Get a roommate, get

1268
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. I'm not talking about sexual girlfriend, a female

1269
00:56:58,480 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 1: friend that lives in the house with you.

1270
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 2: Get a gay friend that lives in the house with you.

1271
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 1: Do not move in with the person that you're dating,

1272
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,439
Speaker 1: because why would you buy the cow if you get

1273
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 1: the milk for free. Now, there are exceptions to the rule.

1274
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 1: Most of us are not exceptions. Okay, most of us.

1275
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 2: Does it happen every day? Sure is that the majority?

1276
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 3: No?

1277
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 1: Most people date for two or three years and then

1278
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: they break up, and it is what it is. And

1279
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 1: then you rinse, wash and repeat. You did the same

1280
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: cycle just continues to go and go and go. Why

1281
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 1: because you don't have any boundaries.

1282
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 2: That's one thing.

1283
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 1: Let let the man will get in where he wants

1284
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 1: to fit in. If I said to Bruck, because do

1285
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 1: you know how many to his two last girlfriends, I'm

1286
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:43,959
Speaker 1: pretty sure too. Anyway, I'm not gonna say Warner because

1287
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 1: I want them to figure it out. But there were

1288
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 1: two women that were like, I'm ready to be married,

1289
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 1: so if we're not going to be married, then we're

1290
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 1: going to break up. And he was like, okay, broke

1291
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 1: up both of them. Another one went overseas, I'm ready.

1292
00:57:59,080 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 2: To be married.

1293
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 1: I don't have to take this job. I would love

1294
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:06,040
Speaker 1: to be married. And he's not say flight, you know

1295
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:08,640
Speaker 1: what I mean? So a man will get in where

1296
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 1: he will fit in, one when he's ready, and two

1297
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 1: if you fit the whatever it is that he needs

1298
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 1: in his mind to look like wife. What we know

1299
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 1: about that in those two they're moving like husband and wife.

1300
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: Everything they're doing is husband and wife. It's screams husband

1301
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 1: and wife. Because I think the majority of people also

1302
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 1: are just married and will never experience what it is

1303
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:30,840
Speaker 1: to be husband and wife. Husband and wife has staying power,

1304
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: has effective communication, you're willing to have the hard conversations.

1305
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 1: And also for women because we're the less regulated person,

1306
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,919
Speaker 1: right usually oftentimes in most cases, let me not say

1307
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 1: all are generalized, but I'm great at generalizing.

1308
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 2: We are.

1309
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 1: Like in my marriage, I have learned what to give

1310
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 1: to God because I can't change a man overnight. But

1311
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:56,440
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean I'm not going to be triggered or

1312
00:58:56,560 --> 00:59:00,360
Speaker 1: bothered or upset or annoyed or any of our or

1313
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:02,800
Speaker 1: whatever it could possibly be. But do any of those

1314
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: emotions Are those conduce of it all to getting the

1315
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 1: change that I want?

1316
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 2: No, So what do I do?

1317
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 1: I go in the closet, I pray, I cry, I

1318
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 1: give it to God.

1319
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 2: I let it go.

1320
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 1: If you're moving like a wife. And this is why

1321
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm saying when we were having the conversation last week

1322
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 1: and we were talking about certain things you will be

1323
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 1: required to sacrifice in a marriage. And if it makes

1324
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 1: you have resentment or if it makes you that's that's

1325
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 1: the stuff you gotta pray away. But see, I do

1326
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 1: think that requirement is subjective to each person. To me, Coconut,

1327
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 1: your your cuckoo to think right.

1328
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 3: But you and Brockwood sit there watch this back with

1329
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 3: me and be like, they're fucking crazy to me, I

1330
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 3: do this, Jesus, I do believe.

1331
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 4: It's only as happy.

1332
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:04,920
Speaker 3: You're only as happy as the rules you set for

1333
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 3: each other. Yeah, we're in twenty twenty six. Relationships look

1334
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:13,120
Speaker 3: so different, Dynamics are so different everybody. I remember someone

1335
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 3: once told me when I was young, my mom is

1336
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 3: very loud and extroverted, and my dad is very passive.

1337
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 4: She's a Middle Eastern guy, just kind of quiet.

1338
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 3: And she was like, my parents say, your mom is

1339
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 3: running circles around him, and she's doing this, and she's

1340
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 3: doing that. When I was young, and all I could

1341
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 3: think to myself is and he liked it, and he like,

1342
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 3: my dad will talk about my mom like, oh my wife.

1343
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 2: She's crazy.

1344
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:36,480
Speaker 4: She's always talking. She makes everybody laugh, da da da.

1345
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 4: He watches her like he's watching TV.

1346
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 2: He loves it.

1347
01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, And someone else would think, how dare the wife

1348
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:44,280
Speaker 3: speak first? Introduce herself first?

1349
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:44,720
Speaker 1: Do this?

1350
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,000
Speaker 3: Come on, give us your give me the checkbook, honey,

1351
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 3: that's my mom. Yeah, my look is disrespectful.

1352
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 2: That's their thing, right, it's there the way that they click.

1353
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 3: So I just think getting this of it, this connection

1354
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 3: and conversation we're having all together, shows me how to

1355
01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:03,480
Speaker 3: front we all think marriages. Yeah, yours may be more

1356
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 3: traditional textbook or biblical definition, where mine is totally different

1357
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 3: and yours is My marriage would look like us being

1358
01:01:10,440 --> 01:01:12,320
Speaker 3: together forever with a nice ring on my finger and no.

1359
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,200
Speaker 2: Paper, right, and and.

1360
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 1: That's that's why you gotta that's why you got to

1361
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:22,680
Speaker 1: choose a person that's similar aligned core values, right like

1362
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 1: at our wedding. In my vows, have you guys seen

1363
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 1: the movie Wicked?

1364
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 2: Of course, both of them.

1365
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:29,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god, its so happy. You know the song

1366
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:32,280
Speaker 1: defined gravity? Yes, okay, I literally listened to this song

1367
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:35,880
Speaker 1: all the time. We karaoke this song. Wait, I tell

1368
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 1: you I referenced freaking I sang gravity in my vows?

1369
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:42,200
Speaker 2: Do you know how to sing?

1370
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 4: You sing in the vowels like there's like this one.

1371
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: Part where it's like unlimited, Oh.

1372
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 2: You can sing. I wouldn't sound like that.

1373
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 4: You're both theater kids.

1374
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:54,840
Speaker 1: He's not a theater kid. He just loves the city.

1375
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 1: He loves like nineties R and B. He loves all

1376
01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:59,240
Speaker 1: like he's an R and B smooth, you know what

1377
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, I love the songs that he chooses

1378
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 1: to sing. They are fire. So we're like a karaoke

1379
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 1: like that's one of our hobbies. We love the karaoke.

1380
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 1: I love to sing, I love to perform, I love

1381
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 1: to dance.

1382
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm good.

1383
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 1: But the fact that I got to do that in

1384
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:14,440
Speaker 1: our wedding vows and I didn't have a man being like,

1385
01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 1: why are you so childish? Why would you do that?

1386
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 1: Why would you? He's not like, you gotta find a

1387
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:20,120
Speaker 1: person that lets you be you.

1388
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 2: I'm curious because you put and before we wrap up,

1389
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:25,440
Speaker 2: because this is what we left on last time. Oh

1390
01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:27,720
Speaker 2: and I wanted to make sure that we hit this again. Okay,

1391
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 2: Oh no, oh yes, you clearly put your husband at

1392
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 2: number one. Oh what are the three things that you

1393
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:36,960
Speaker 2: value more than anything?

1394
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 4: As a like?

1395
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,960
Speaker 2: As like, clearly being a wife was one. But how

1396
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:44,800
Speaker 2: do you how do you list the three most important

1397
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 2: things in your life? What are they?

1398
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 4: God?

1399
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 1: Oh?

1400
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:48,400
Speaker 2: God? First?

1401
01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:52,240
Speaker 1: Okay, spouse, children, everybody.

1402
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 2: Else, even before you have children. Children are there?

1403
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:56,720
Speaker 1: Yes right now? I don't have children, right, so then

1404
01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 1: what's in that third spot? Everybody else?

1405
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 2: Interesting?

1406
01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:02,320
Speaker 1: Not job?

1407
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 2: Not no, friends.

1408
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 1: Nope, well clearly not everybody.

1409
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:08,680
Speaker 2: I would agree with these, but mixed. What are your

1410
01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:09,160
Speaker 2: top three?

1411
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 3: I'm first, okay, he's second, okay, then children, which are

1412
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 3: in my family rap. But when it comes to like

1413
01:03:20,920 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 3: saving them on the boat, I feel like I've lived

1414
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 3: enough life already, you too, Right, listen, let these babies live.

1415
01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:31,200
Speaker 2: But I will tell you my man's African and he's traditional, and.

1416
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 3: We've saw I think we saw that clip or you

1417
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:34,840
Speaker 3: know that clip is a it's a take that people

1418
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,040
Speaker 3: ask quite a bit. And he's like, but we could

1419
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 3: make another one? What would I do in this world

1420
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 3: without you? And I'm like, raise the baby I made?

1421
01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 2: What yours? Is?

1422
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:44,400
Speaker 1: You?

1423
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 2: Your partner?

1424
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 3: Children, Religion and spirituality to me, come forth? And it's

1425
01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 3: really because there's no real tangible meaning of God for me.

1426
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 3: It's our spirituality we share together, it's each other, it's

1427
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:02,680
Speaker 3: the earth for me, it's everything. Right, So I think

1428
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:05,280
Speaker 3: if God was more traditional and I was in a

1429
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 3: more organized religion, it would be higher.

1430
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:10,120
Speaker 2: But I was not always the woman to save me

1431
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 2: first because I'm pick me girl. I'm male centered.

1432
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,960
Speaker 3: That's why I have a podcast like this, right, But

1433
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 3: like be I got such a great guy because I

1434
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,600
Speaker 3: just became so all about me. Like I see it

1435
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:26,920
Speaker 3: with my friends that are suffering. I see it with

1436
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:31,240
Speaker 3: my friends in bad relationships. They don't choose themselves. It's

1437
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 3: fucking me, me, me.

1438
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:35,560
Speaker 2: I choose him on occasion before myself.

1439
01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 1: What does that look like? Because I feel like that

1440
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:40,040
Speaker 1: could be misconstrued and understanding.

1441
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:42,680
Speaker 2: I think that losing you before anyone else.

1442
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:45,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, what's an example. It's a great because people

1443
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 1: will say choosing me means I fix my plate before

1444
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,080
Speaker 1: I fix his, or I fix my plate before I

1445
01:04:50,200 --> 01:04:52,080
Speaker 1: go to that. I'm not that girl, right, So that's

1446
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. It's so easy to misconstruet that. Or

1447
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,320
Speaker 1: let's say I threw a.

1448
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 4: Bounce when I've served the place.

1449
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 3: But choosing me means I will never allow myself to

1450
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 3: be so delusional that I let someone ruin me, taking

1451
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,280
Speaker 3: control of me, take me of my innocence, hurt me.

1452
01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 3: I have put myself second to men and relationships and

1453
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 3: work and ruin myself and been unhappy. I've seen men

1454
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:20,960
Speaker 3: kind of mold me as to the way they want

1455
01:05:21,040 --> 01:05:24,120
Speaker 3: because I didn't put myself first. Because I am first,

1456
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 3: and I choose to put him first on occasion, like

1457
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 3: I said, it will always be and by that I

1458
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:31,880
Speaker 3: mean serving him first. I will never serve myself first.

1459
01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 3: Why the fuck would I do that? That to me

1460
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:35,840
Speaker 3: is ridiculous. Right, just like he opens that fucking door,

1461
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:39,200
Speaker 3: he would if there's a seat, he never sitting down before,

1462
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 3: is me right? My man chooses to put me first too,

1463
01:05:41,920 --> 01:05:44,320
Speaker 3: But in this scenario that it comes to my own

1464
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 3: mind and the values I have for myself. When people

1465
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:53,480
Speaker 3: hurt you, we allow them to do it twice. And

1466
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:55,080
Speaker 3: that's why I say, I'd have to put me at

1467
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:57,200
Speaker 3: the top. So how you see you as how I

1468
01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:57,720
Speaker 3: see God.

1469
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 1: Because if we are all wonderfully and perfectly made, if

1470
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 1: I really believe that my body is a temple, if

1471
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:08,800
Speaker 1: I really stand biblically on the on the beliefs and

1472
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:11,440
Speaker 1: the core values and the trust that I have in

1473
01:06:11,520 --> 01:06:14,120
Speaker 1: God's source right universe, whatever you want to call it,

1474
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,520
Speaker 1: but God, there are certain things you won't even allow,

1475
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 1: Like you would never allow someone to run up in

1476
01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:23,680
Speaker 1: your house and paint the walls and a color that

1477
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:25,600
Speaker 1: you don't. You wouldn't allow, Like it's not all, it's

1478
01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:28,800
Speaker 1: not even, it's not even like I said, on the table.

1479
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:34,640
Speaker 3: And the opinions we have run the same. Yeah, because

1480
01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:36,040
Speaker 3: it's because my list.

1481
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:37,400
Speaker 4: What's your list?

1482
01:06:37,560 --> 01:06:42,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, my friends are first before you, and god, my

1483
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,640
Speaker 2: friends are so much first. I'm in therapy thinking about it.

1484
01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:48,920
Speaker 2: I will borrow money if my friend needs money and

1485
01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:50,880
Speaker 2: I don't have it, just to give it to them.

1486
01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:54,840
Speaker 2: So my therapist is working through this interest. Excuse me.

1487
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 1: If you borrow money, do you have to pay interest?

1488
01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:00,160
Speaker 2: Depends on the friend? Do they like? You know?

1489
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:01,920
Speaker 1: I'm saying if you had to borrow, like let's say

1490
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 1: someone's like, I need one hundred grand and.

1491
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:06,000
Speaker 2: I get one hundred grand, form me. Okay, so I

1492
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,440
Speaker 2: give you a couple of twenty I got Okay.

1493
01:07:08,560 --> 01:07:10,080
Speaker 1: So if we have let's say, you have to get

1494
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:11,920
Speaker 1: twenty five hundred dollars, are you going to borrow it

1495
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,480
Speaker 1: from a place where you pay interest and they only

1496
01:07:14,560 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 1: pay you back twenty five hundred? No, they don't like Okay, Okay, Okay,

1497
01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:21,800
Speaker 1: get it from that, Okay, Okay, yeah, okay, so I

1498
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:24,920
Speaker 1: have that first. Okay, But friends are first, Okay.

1499
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:30,880
Speaker 2: Then me okay. Then my legacy and what I'm leaving,

1500
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:36,440
Speaker 2: so the book, my job, my career, that's third. I

1501
01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 2: don't think. I don't think men and wrote and love

1502
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:45,560
Speaker 2: make top five and like like men are here, but

1503
01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:49,000
Speaker 2: this idea that like there's so many things that come

1504
01:07:49,040 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 2: before them. And I have had a partner feel that way,

1505
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,640
Speaker 2: and I hated that he felt that way. But there

1506
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:56,000
Speaker 2: were things that I knew would outlast that I don't

1507
01:07:56,120 --> 01:07:59,480
Speaker 2: live for to be married or to like for those titles.

1508
01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:01,360
Speaker 2: And maybe that's why. Also things are different from me,

1509
01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:05,160
Speaker 2: the hierarchy of and the way I view my life happening.

1510
01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:07,040
Speaker 2: There's so many things that matter more to me than

1511
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:07,920
Speaker 2: a man.

1512
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,720
Speaker 3: I wonder if your life's pleasures, Like if you asked

1513
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:13,360
Speaker 3: me the top three feelings in life, Oh, even traveling

1514
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:14,360
Speaker 3: is number one.

1515
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,799
Speaker 4: Food a second, and travels third.

1516
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:20,600
Speaker 2: I would say sushi probably comes before men for me.

1517
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:22,720
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love sushi. Do you know how?

1518
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:25,320
Speaker 3: I don't believe that because you love to have sex,

1519
01:08:25,479 --> 01:08:26,680
Speaker 3: you love the company of a man.

1520
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, and then I also love for them

1521
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 2: to go home. Like my world is not centered around

1522
01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:36,759
Speaker 2: like I crave it sometimes cool like I crave sushi.

1523
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:41,760
Speaker 2: And then it's like I could be fine not being

1524
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:44,120
Speaker 2: in the mix. But my friends, like my friends are

1525
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:46,679
Speaker 2: our everything to be. That's the family shows. Family probably

1526
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:49,960
Speaker 2: don't even make top ten because of they ghetto. I

1527
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 2: got a ghetto as family.

1528
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:54,840
Speaker 1: I have so many questions. My whole brain is like

1529
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,240
Speaker 1: on fire right now.

1530
01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:59,040
Speaker 2: And then yeah, the universe like, do you know my p.

1531
01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:02,559
Speaker 4: This is not me calling you a liar.

1532
01:09:03,479 --> 01:09:08,080
Speaker 2: I think you experienced a love so strong and heartbreaking.

1533
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:13,920
Speaker 3: Many and I have a very tumultuous relationship right to

1534
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:17,559
Speaker 3: where at one point I didn't really if Mandy had

1535
01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:18,800
Speaker 3: a bad day, I'd be like, I'm give a fuck.

1536
01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:23,719
Speaker 3: When you were going through your breakup, I was affected.

1537
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:26,599
Speaker 3: That was how painful it was to know you had

1538
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,080
Speaker 3: been through that. And that's how I knew when we

1539
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:29,439
Speaker 3: went on that podcast and one day and they were like,

1540
01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:30,400
Speaker 3: do you love each other? And I was like, no,

1541
01:09:30,439 --> 01:09:33,479
Speaker 3: I love Mandy, and your breakup showed me how much

1542
01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:36,639
Speaker 3: I love you because I was really going through pain.

1543
01:09:36,720 --> 01:09:39,680
Speaker 3: Watching it it makes me want to cry, and I

1544
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:44,479
Speaker 3: think it's because you are someone that doesn't allow it

1545
01:09:44,560 --> 01:09:48,439
Speaker 3: to happen. So knowing that he really fucking did that

1546
01:09:48,560 --> 01:09:50,040
Speaker 3: to you is painful.

1547
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:50,880
Speaker 2: No matter what.

1548
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:53,439
Speaker 3: Opinion I could have of you, it was just completely

1549
01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:55,240
Speaker 3: undeserving for that to happen to you, But.

1550
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:57,160
Speaker 2: It was that, but that that happened to me. It

1551
01:09:57,240 --> 01:09:59,680
Speaker 2: was nothing but a heartbreak. But to me, that's what

1552
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:03,599
Speaker 2: shapes these new these If you listen to the pod

1553
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:06,439
Speaker 2: from day one, bro, men were not I've never been

1554
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:10,080
Speaker 2: but I've never been male centered like they come in.

1555
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:12,759
Speaker 2: You got to build a paid the dick is good. Okay,

1556
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:14,920
Speaker 2: we have fun, we go on a trip, But I've

1557
01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:17,240
Speaker 2: never been like, oh my god, I need this like

1558
01:10:17,320 --> 01:10:21,519
Speaker 2: I've never desired. But that hasn't changed yourself, But it

1559
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:25,200
Speaker 2: hasn't changed. We're almost ten years in. I've I've never

1560
01:10:25,240 --> 01:10:27,160
Speaker 2: set up. Parents said I wanted marriage. I never set up.

1561
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:28,360
Speaker 2: Hearents love.

1562
01:10:28,439 --> 01:10:29,839
Speaker 4: You were a totally different person.

1563
01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:31,680
Speaker 2: When I was in love. We have and guess what

1564
01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:35,160
Speaker 2: he didn't feel like I needed him. He also came

1565
01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:38,240
Speaker 2: second to when I had trips with my friends. My

1566
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:40,240
Speaker 2: friends came first. If I was out because I had plays,

1567
01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:44,000
Speaker 2: you could, you could show up, but my friends are here. Hey,

1568
01:10:44,120 --> 01:10:46,120
Speaker 2: my friend has cancer. I gotta go down and fucking

1569
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,760
Speaker 2: be with her. My friends came before my man. And

1570
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:50,720
Speaker 2: then guess what else came before him? That he let

1571
01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:54,000
Speaker 2: me know my job opening up the studio. This podcast.

1572
01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:56,960
Speaker 2: Everything that I just said came before like it always did.

1573
01:10:57,160 --> 01:10:59,400
Speaker 2: Is this the guy that cheated? Yes, this was my

1574
01:10:59,720 --> 01:11:04,439
Speaker 2: first love, absolutely, But all of those things he felt

1575
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:07,439
Speaker 2: always came before him, and he never changed. Even as

1576
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:09,080
Speaker 2: much as I loved, I think as much as I

1577
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:09,439
Speaker 2: showed I.

1578
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:12,200
Speaker 4: Love changes the perspective of what's important.

1579
01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:15,880
Speaker 2: But we, during our healthy love did he wasn't first what.

1580
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:19,400
Speaker 4: You feel with friendships, that real genuinity.

1581
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:24,680
Speaker 2: When a man is or a woman a romantic love,

1582
01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:27,560
Speaker 2: is that good and pure and healthy, I think it

1583
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:31,920
Speaker 2: would shift it. I think romantic love is delusional. I

1584
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:35,519
Speaker 2: think the expectations of your partner are delusional. I don't

1585
01:11:35,560 --> 01:11:38,760
Speaker 2: think it's natural for the things that we put or

1586
01:11:38,840 --> 01:11:41,680
Speaker 2: step forth for our partners to show up as I

1587
01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:44,439
Speaker 2: think that it's none of it's healthy, and I think

1588
01:11:44,439 --> 01:11:46,320
Speaker 2: it's healthy for a little bit. But I think the

1589
01:11:46,439 --> 01:11:48,840
Speaker 2: expectations that we have on a human being when we

1590
01:11:48,920 --> 01:11:55,120
Speaker 2: have a romantic love is delusional and not impossible, but

1591
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:58,320
Speaker 2: it's unnatural for the ways in which we expect partners

1592
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:00,000
Speaker 2: to show up in romantic partners.

1593
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:01,880
Speaker 1: Question, so do you okay?

1594
01:12:02,120 --> 01:12:04,800
Speaker 2: So, by the way, y'all just fuck all of our things.

1595
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 2: We got to go to huh. Okay, let's saying let's

1596
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:10,679
Speaker 2: say no, no, no, let's wrap it up with your question,

1597
01:12:11,720 --> 01:12:12,519
Speaker 2: so do you so?

1598
01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:16,719
Speaker 1: Okay, So, if you are saying that you don't believe

1599
01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:19,840
Speaker 1: in romantic love, I do believe in it. But it's

1600
01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:21,000
Speaker 1: delusional to habit.

1601
01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:23,680
Speaker 2: I think that's a little wise. I think that the

1602
01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:27,040
Speaker 2: expectations that we put on the humans, right, yes, are

1603
01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:27,879
Speaker 2: are delusional.

1604
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:31,519
Speaker 1: Okay, So is this Is it possible that the rules

1605
01:12:31,680 --> 01:12:34,720
Speaker 1: in your mind that you have created for marriage are

1606
01:12:35,479 --> 01:12:38,400
Speaker 1: completely and stark different from the rules in your mind

1607
01:12:38,439 --> 01:12:41,280
Speaker 1: that you have for friendship, Because in friendship I'm guessing

1608
01:12:41,360 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 1: you get to show up freely as yourself. I'm guessing

1609
01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:46,840
Speaker 1: you're not feeling judged as long as I get to too.

1610
01:12:47,640 --> 01:12:50,400
Speaker 1: So okay, So the part of this that doesn't make

1611
01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:55,080
Speaker 1: any sense, You'll say, with my partners, it's the same,

1612
01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:57,920
Speaker 1: But it couldn't possibly be because you almost have a

1613
01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:01,920
Speaker 1: doom umbrella over love, but with your friends you don't

1614
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:02,280
Speaker 1: have that.

1615
01:13:02,560 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 2: It's not a doom umbrella. But again, when when you

1616
01:13:05,240 --> 01:13:09,040
Speaker 2: have certain boundaries come along in romantic partnerships, yes, that

1617
01:13:09,160 --> 01:13:12,160
Speaker 2: could feel suffocating, that could feel like that could feel

1618
01:13:12,160 --> 01:13:14,599
Speaker 2: like you're someone's proper. The fact that when we're married,

1619
01:13:15,439 --> 01:13:18,760
Speaker 2: it's kind of inappropriate to have male friendship, like this

1620
01:13:18,960 --> 01:13:22,880
Speaker 2: idea that once we come together, but there's someone like weezy.

1621
01:13:23,040 --> 01:13:26,640
Speaker 2: But there's a lot of people. I haven't efflicated it all,

1622
01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:28,439
Speaker 2: but there's a lot of there's a lot of things

1623
01:13:28,479 --> 01:13:32,040
Speaker 2: to me about romantic partnership and boundaries and expectations that

1624
01:13:32,280 --> 01:13:35,560
Speaker 2: are possessive, that are suffocating, that are unrealistic.

1625
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:37,160
Speaker 1: That's an unhealthy love.

1626
01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:41,400
Speaker 2: And I feel like majority of people even listening, end

1627
01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:44,840
Speaker 2: up there or just have unhealthy love because again, like

1628
01:13:44,960 --> 01:13:47,840
Speaker 2: with children, like with love, guess what, we don't know

1629
01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:49,920
Speaker 2: how to show up in it. It's something that is

1630
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:53,360
Speaker 2: different for everybody. It's like again, also we change as

1631
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:55,639
Speaker 2: human beings. So the person that I fall in love

1632
01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:58,599
Speaker 2: with today might not be the same person ten years

1633
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:02,800
Speaker 2: from now, because we're human. And that happens. Like we're

1634
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:06,519
Speaker 2: allowed to end a friendship because we outgrow it. You

1635
01:14:06,680 --> 01:14:09,880
Speaker 2: saying I'll never get divorced. That's suffocating, the fact that

1636
01:14:10,080 --> 01:14:12,760
Speaker 2: even if you outgrow somebody, you stuck with me for

1637
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:16,360
Speaker 2: life or you dying. But I mean, I'm either I'm

1638
01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:20,000
Speaker 2: either a widow or I'm married, But whatfocating? But what if?

1639
01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:20,960
Speaker 2: What if?

1640
01:14:22,200 --> 01:14:25,519
Speaker 1: What if it's not suffocating? What if you find a

1641
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:28,439
Speaker 1: person and this is why alignment and partner choice is

1642
01:14:28,439 --> 01:14:30,679
Speaker 1: the most important decision you'll ever make in your life.

1643
01:14:31,439 --> 01:14:34,400
Speaker 1: What if you find a person that is also terrified

1644
01:14:34,439 --> 01:14:37,920
Speaker 1: of saying the word marriage forever? Maybe what they just

1645
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,560
Speaker 1: they don't want to say that divorce isn't on the

1646
01:14:39,560 --> 01:14:41,320
Speaker 1: table for them, whatever that is, and so because that

1647
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:43,920
Speaker 1: also feels suffocating to them, but they still want to

1648
01:14:43,960 --> 01:14:46,679
Speaker 1: partner that they can witness life with forever.

1649
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:50,280
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we maybe just describe Jasmine and cam

1650
01:14:50,640 --> 01:14:53,760
Speaker 2: but fuck prociety, no, because she doesn't have the ring.

1651
01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:56,559
Speaker 2: But that's the thing. No, No, that's not the only

1652
01:14:56,640 --> 01:14:58,759
Speaker 2: reason why we don't know, because we haven't heard Jasmine.

1653
01:14:58,760 --> 01:15:01,040
Speaker 2: So what I'm saying, So, so what I'm saying, yes,

1654
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:05,000
Speaker 2: fuck if I find that person, society and everyone is

1655
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:08,680
Speaker 2: going to assume whatever they want to assume because of

1656
01:15:09,160 --> 01:15:12,040
Speaker 2: this pressure that we've put on this word called marriage.

1657
01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:14,639
Speaker 2: And so how I choose to live and the things

1658
01:15:14,680 --> 01:15:18,000
Speaker 2: that I'm saying, I'm vocalizing, and it's because this idea

1659
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:20,960
Speaker 2: of this forever land, this idea of marriage comes with

1660
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:24,400
Speaker 2: a level of delusion that doesn't truly make sense.

1661
01:15:24,439 --> 01:15:27,280
Speaker 3: But to me, the delusion too that love can be

1662
01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:30,760
Speaker 3: good exists. No, No, you have a delusion that no

1663
01:15:31,160 --> 01:15:32,720
Speaker 3: relationships are all bad.

1664
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:35,280
Speaker 2: I say, I didn't say relationships are all bad, But

1665
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:39,679
Speaker 2: I believe in creating healthy memories with someone, loving someone,

1666
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:43,280
Speaker 2: hold on loving someone, Okay, and then we're reaching a

1667
01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:46,000
Speaker 2: point because we're humans that we change and it doesn't

1668
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,599
Speaker 2: align anymore. So to me, I believe in experienced love.

1669
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,040
Speaker 2: I want to experience love. I want to be in

1670
01:15:50,080 --> 01:15:52,680
Speaker 2: a relationship with someone who gets me, and then when

1671
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:55,040
Speaker 2: we don't get each other, we get to let each

1672
01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:56,479
Speaker 2: other go and continue living life.

1673
01:15:56,520 --> 01:15:58,880
Speaker 1: But why can't you just grow into the next version

1674
01:15:58,960 --> 01:16:01,600
Speaker 1: of yourselves? Like, why is there this belief that you

1675
01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:04,559
Speaker 1: have to outgrow your person? Why is there the belief

1676
01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:06,479
Speaker 1: that they're gonna change and I'm not gonna like the

1677
01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:08,400
Speaker 1: version of that that they change into it.

1678
01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:13,400
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be. Oh, and there's friendships that

1679
01:16:13,439 --> 01:16:15,280
Speaker 2: I've that don't work for me. There's friendships where I've

1680
01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:17,840
Speaker 2: had to come to someone and be like, who you

1681
01:16:17,920 --> 01:16:21,080
Speaker 2: are isn't really crystal Through sickness and health, You've lived together.

1682
01:16:21,439 --> 01:16:24,320
Speaker 2: Yeah no, no, no me and I tell Crystal all

1683
01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:27,439
Speaker 2: the time because her choice is the dating is questionable.

1684
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:29,880
Speaker 2: I say, bitch, when are we gonna buy our little

1685
01:16:29,920 --> 01:16:32,559
Speaker 2: house and just live together? She is like, I believe

1686
01:16:32,640 --> 01:16:36,000
Speaker 2: her to be my person, non sexually weird. That's why

1687
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:38,840
Speaker 2: anyone like I have niggas that be like Crystal coming

1688
01:16:39,160 --> 01:16:41,720
Speaker 2: my best friends for their birthday? You ready, I have

1689
01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:44,920
Speaker 2: a friend? Shout out to Jazzmine. Jasmine is my best friend.

1690
01:16:45,800 --> 01:16:50,599
Speaker 2: Met Crystal through Jasmine. You ready for Jazzin's birthday because

1691
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:52,439
Speaker 2: she wanted me to be there. She bought Crystal a flight.

1692
01:16:52,600 --> 01:16:54,960
Speaker 2: You and Crystal are coming DeAndre who just had a

1693
01:16:54,960 --> 01:16:57,519
Speaker 2: baby and invited me to her gender reveal and baby shower.

1694
01:16:58,439 --> 01:17:00,840
Speaker 2: Crystal can come with you. Crystal with my person and

1695
01:17:00,920 --> 01:17:03,479
Speaker 2: we've never had sex. She is not gay at all,

1696
01:17:03,840 --> 01:17:06,280
Speaker 2: but that's my person and so yes, I believe in

1697
01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:08,120
Speaker 2: healthy relationships. I believing those.

1698
01:17:08,160 --> 01:17:11,479
Speaker 4: Still it's a testimony that that love and that loyalty.

1699
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:15,080
Speaker 2: It changes when you fuck people, no, you get her up,

1700
01:17:15,479 --> 01:17:17,840
Speaker 2: it changes with you. Thank you so much.

1701
01:17:20,200 --> 01:17:21,840
Speaker 4: You know where can people?

1702
01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:24,760
Speaker 2: We might have to do a part three.

1703
01:17:26,160 --> 01:17:27,600
Speaker 4: The three gotta be on yours.

1704
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:28,400
Speaker 2: With us to go. That's God.

1705
01:17:28,880 --> 01:17:29,080
Speaker 3: Do that.

1706
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:31,519
Speaker 2: The next time she comes to town, it's gay you here?

1707
01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:34,519
Speaker 2: Oh no, she leaves be in it out. She barely

1708
01:17:34,560 --> 01:17:36,479
Speaker 2: gives me time for our own show girl. We got

1709
01:17:36,640 --> 01:17:39,800
Speaker 2: we gotta plan, I'm hearing. Yeah, okay, we we we're

1710
01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:41,120
Speaker 2: gonna be We only shoot once a month.

1711
01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,639
Speaker 1: Okay, well we'll we'll think we shoot next Monday.

1712
01:17:44,560 --> 01:17:46,400
Speaker 2: She won't be here, but we'll align it. She has

1713
01:17:46,439 --> 01:17:51,599
Speaker 2: to get back to a blizzard. Oh cat, I share

1714
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:53,200
Speaker 2: with my non tradition.

1715
01:17:54,560 --> 01:17:55,599
Speaker 4: Don't where do they find?

1716
01:17:55,960 --> 01:17:58,040
Speaker 2: Where? Can they? Hey, guys, miss.

1717
01:17:57,960 --> 01:18:01,760
Speaker 1: Sarah No, well now miss font No shorter period, but

1718
01:18:01,880 --> 01:18:04,439
Speaker 1: my handle is miss Sarah font No M S s

1719
01:18:04,560 --> 01:18:07,160
Speaker 1: A r A H S O N T E N

1720
01:18:07,280 --> 01:18:10,679
Speaker 1: O T. That's on all platforms. And the It's Giving

1721
01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:14,720
Speaker 1: podcast is its period, giving period podcast, period.

1722
01:18:14,439 --> 01:18:18,760
Speaker 2: And part of me, this whole thing, I don't I know.

1723
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:20,240
Speaker 2: We've been talking for a long time.

1724
01:18:20,960 --> 01:18:23,439
Speaker 3: Well, y'all join us on patreon dot com backslash or

1725
01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:26,880
Speaker 3: decisions for Sarah's handles. If you missed the letter going

1726
01:18:26,920 --> 01:18:28,720
Speaker 3: to be your description, you can copy and paste it

1727
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:30,120
Speaker 3: and put it into and y'all.

1728
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:31,680
Speaker 2: Been seeing it behind her head the whole time. If

1729
01:18:31,720 --> 01:18:34,360
Speaker 2: you are here and new We are New York Times bestsellers,

1730
01:18:34,560 --> 01:18:36,360
Speaker 2: so make sure you get our book, No Holds Barred,

1731
01:18:36,479 --> 01:18:39,559
Speaker 2: Dual Manifesto, Sexual Exploration and Power. And you could probably

1732
01:18:39,600 --> 01:18:41,120
Speaker 2: hear a little bit more of my trauma in the

1733
01:18:41,160 --> 01:18:43,760
Speaker 2: book as to why I think the way I think. Uh,

1734
01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:46,000
Speaker 2: same with Weezy. It's both of our stories in there

1735
01:18:46,040 --> 01:18:47,920
Speaker 2: as to how we think the way we think. So

1736
01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:50,160
Speaker 2: go ahead and get that wherever you get books. Thank you,

1737
01:18:50,240 --> 01:18:53,400
Speaker 2: guys for tuning in turn that episode of Decisions Decisions

1738
01:18:53,960 --> 01:19:03,800
Speaker 2: Bye Related, the a U, the Doing, Betwen, the Deep,