Speaker 1: Welcome back to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists.
Speaker 1: This week on the show, we have a bunch of
Speaker 1: people who wrote memoirs.
Speaker 2: Memoirs the story and book of a life of a person.
Speaker 2: But what happens if all of those people wrote a
Speaker 2: memoir kind of surrounding the same thing. Today we sit
Speaker 2: down with five different people promoting their own memoirs, each
Speaker 2: that have crossed over in each other's lives.
Speaker 1: Now, take out your individual POV and your kindle and
Speaker 1: let's listen in.
Speaker 3: Hi, Hi, Sorry, I didn't know we were one. You'll
Speaker 3: always do that and start earlier than when I'm ready.
Speaker 3: But yeah, forever, since I read.
Speaker 4: Too, there wasn't any sort of clue that you were ready,
Speaker 4: you know, if we were waiting for you to be ready.
Speaker 5: I think we did never forget anything.
Speaker 3: That is so true middle school.
Speaker 1: I'm going to take a deep breath.
Speaker 6: Sorry, okay, hi.
Speaker 5: Hi, she was talking, She was talking.
Speaker 7: Well, I was going to just simply apologize for turning
Speaker 7: the heat up. I know that some of you prefer
Speaker 7: it cold as an iceberg, but I would like for
Speaker 7: you know, I want this to be an okay experience
Speaker 7: for everyone. I want everyone to be comfortable. Is everyone comfortable?
Speaker 2: I'm comfortable. I'm really I felt like a threat.
Speaker 1: It felt like you asked me to be comfortable instead
Speaker 1: of asking me if I am comfortable.
Speaker 7: Well, simply, I wanted to know if you're If you're comfortable,
Speaker 7: that's it.
Speaker 5: I'm great, I'm right, it's rain.
Speaker 8: Okay, then comfortable.
Speaker 5: It's all in here.
Speaker 2: My comfort level is all in here.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is mine?
Speaker 2: Well, then oh that's yours.
Speaker 3: This is mine as well, my different book and memoir. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's interesting, that's mine.
Speaker 8: Really interesting.
Speaker 2: I guess we're all here to promote our memoirs. We're
Speaker 2: all uh grew up together in one way or another,
Speaker 2: kind of one big family. I guess you could say
Speaker 2: each with a different perspective on or you do say
Speaker 2: I think I do say.
Speaker 5: In this sense.
Speaker 1: I'm just curious what I am to you if we're
Speaker 1: going to do this. We all have a bunch of
Speaker 1: books to promote, okay, And it feels like if we
Speaker 1: start doing this, it feels like we'll never get to
Speaker 1: the books.
Speaker 6: And I'm here not for this, I'm here forday.
Speaker 2: Okay, right, Why don't we just say our name and
Speaker 2: our memoir and the relationship to this group.
Speaker 3: You can go first, Mommy, you first, mom.
Speaker 6: Well, okay, I.
Speaker 7: Am going to start, because I am always willing to
Speaker 7: fall on the sword for this family.
Speaker 8: I will go first. My name is a niece murder.
Speaker 5: Mmmm Ibu family. That's what we are.
Speaker 3: She changed our name, of course when we were in
Speaker 3: the she changed your name at it.
Speaker 7: I changed my name to what I feel like all
Speaker 7: the time. I changed my name to what I feel
Speaker 7: like all the time. And now you all carry this name,
Speaker 7: and so you're welcome, Denise Martyr. I wrote a story
Speaker 7: called The Sacrificial lamb Uh. It's a story about a
Speaker 7: woman who gives everything she has to a family who
Speaker 7: doesn't seem to, you know, uh, give back.
Speaker 8: In the same way.
Speaker 7: And it's about, of course, our dealings as a as
Speaker 7: a family band traveling across the country. And we we
Speaker 7: traveled across we were well what would you call it, dear?
Speaker 7: I would call it a family band because I thought
Speaker 7: we were making music. No, I'm getting to intense. I'm
Speaker 7: going to reel it back. I love everyone in this.
Speaker 8: Room, I really do. And I wouldn't have spent so.
Speaker 7: Many years raising you, conducting you in the family band
Speaker 7: if I did not feel the same way. And I
Speaker 7: think this book the Sacrificial Lamb, available in Barnes and
Speaker 7: Noble exclusively. I don't want anyone else having it. I
Speaker 7: believe that this book will we'll shed some light on
Speaker 7: some things that the public may be curious about.
Speaker 8: So that's me. And it's nice to be in a
Speaker 8: room with all.
Speaker 3: Of you again, you too, mommy, And I'm glad we
Speaker 3: could finally make this happen. My memoir, of course, is
Speaker 3: called to me, to me, and.
Speaker 5: I'm laughing at and that's so you.
Speaker 4: I think I'm literally laughing at a movie I watched
Speaker 4: last night.
Speaker 3: Well, if you could be present with us right now
Speaker 3: instead of back in your entertainment then in the man caves,
Speaker 3: that'd be really I didn't.
Speaker 5: Think about hilario films.
Speaker 3: I watched, Thank You, Thank you, Sara. Apology wasn't a
Speaker 3: real apology?
Speaker 4: Go ahead to me, to me, I can't to me,
Speaker 4: to me, No, you wanted me to be upset, Go ahead,
Speaker 4: I didn't.
Speaker 3: But we can talk about this in another twenty years
Speaker 3: when I sit in the same fucking room with you again.
Speaker 3: Another chapter anyway, Mommy, So like you see like.
Speaker 7: This, you just have to tune him out, him out,
Speaker 7: tune him out.
Speaker 9: I gave you tune him out to the tune.
Speaker 5: Guys, guys, guys, we have to get through this.
Speaker 2: We have to please continue your introduce.
Speaker 5: Apologize like that.
Speaker 3: Just the good thing that I think we've found as
Speaker 3: a family is that art is sort of or trauma
Speaker 3: or abuse or you know, whatever it may be. It's
Speaker 3: sort of an intro to our art. And Mommy has
Speaker 3: always been a real benefactor of art and trauma with art.
Speaker 3: And sorry, okay, And I think what's been interesting about
Speaker 3: my You're still in another place you're not thinking about
Speaker 3: right here, right now.
Speaker 8: Let him let him, don't let him do this.
Speaker 2: You don't let him trigger you don't.
Speaker 8: He's laying a landmine for you to walk through.
Speaker 5: You can't.
Speaker 8: You can't allow him to do that.
Speaker 3: Literally, not A big part of the climax of my
Speaker 3: memoir is just a memory of your I know you
Speaker 3: haven't read it yet, smile laughing at me when I
Speaker 3: broke a bone. And that's sort of something that I
Speaker 3: explore here. And it seems mundane, but it obviously isn't.
Speaker 3: It's good to be in the same room with all
Speaker 3: of you again. And you know, I hope we can
Speaker 3: finally get our kids together. Definitely going to read your book.
Speaker 1: Wo, Melendus is high.
Speaker 3: I didn't know you had a Melinda.
Speaker 1: But hire just forgetting my kid's names.
Speaker 2: Okay, you want to introduce yourself.
Speaker 6: Okay, sorry, I.
Speaker 2: Here comes the tears again.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 8: Here it is.
Speaker 10: Being with my siblings makes me act out in the
Speaker 10: way that I don't like.
Speaker 5: Hi.
Speaker 3: My name is Tilt.
Speaker 1: And my memoir is called Cry Baby Cry in the
Speaker 1: River of Love.
Speaker 6: I'm the youngest. I grew up in a family band.
Speaker 6: And what's so funny is I finally found my voice.
Speaker 3: Even though I've been singing since I.
Speaker 4: Was a kid.
Speaker 8: Well, Tilly, Billy, it's nice to have you here.
Speaker 1: It's good to see everyone. Even though it's hard for
Speaker 1: me to say that it is good to see everyone.
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to be in this environment. Mom
Speaker 1: mm hmmm, sis mm hmm. But I'm glad i'm here.
Speaker 5: Your hair pink.
Speaker 3: I like it, and it's good for the book, for
Speaker 3: us all to be here together. For the books plural
Speaker 3: mainly to me to me by Shandy Redhorn, which is
Speaker 3: my name, Shandy danger name to me to me, Well,
Speaker 3: Shandy Martyr was a little uh, you're.
Speaker 5: Right, a bad name.
Speaker 8: Well, I liked Shandy Martyr. I thought it was a
Speaker 8: nice name.
Speaker 5: Planning for when we named you.
Speaker 3: So why did you name me Shandy Marder?
Speaker 7: Mommy, Well, Shandy is well, it's the name of an
Speaker 7: alcohol that your father and I used to drink.
Speaker 2: Oh, mixed of brandy the name.
Speaker 7: Of a drink, so it's a special It was a
Speaker 7: proprietary mixture that we would mix together.
Speaker 8: It is, of course, sherry and Brandon.
Speaker 5: We gotta stop doing this.
Speaker 2: We gotta get through this.
Speaker 8: Why didn't you introduce yoursel ahead?
Speaker 5: You go ahead, you go ahead.
Speaker 3: I'm shutting down.
Speaker 4: Sorry, do you want us to wait for you?
Speaker 8: Okay?
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 4: My name is Don Murder. I am the father of
Speaker 4: these three beautiful kids and the ex husband of the
Speaker 4: wonderful woman.
Speaker 8: Over there Jesus Christ.
Speaker 7: Say what if I said, when you say wonderful woman,
Speaker 7: I know what you mean.
Speaker 4: I mean you're a wonderful woman and I miss you
Speaker 4: every day. When you left in the middle of the night,
Speaker 4: I said, don't leave, don't come back. And somehow the
Speaker 4: narrative has shifted that I said for you to go.
Speaker 5: My book is called Hey you Make a Better Door
Speaker 5: than a window.
Speaker 4: A wacky Dad's life to raise in three musical children
Speaker 4: and don't for.
Speaker 1: The listener at home. Musical has quotes on it. You
Speaker 1: saw the title of the book, right, it's just for
Speaker 1: my musical children.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know what I don't appreciate, And maybe I
Speaker 7: should save this for the discussion, for I don't appreciate
Speaker 7: our lives turned into pums and jokes.
Speaker 4: I wanted to write a lighthearted bathroom read about how
Speaker 4: much fun I had with your family, with my family,
Speaker 4: That's what I wrote. I just wrote about the silly
Speaker 4: times when you wore underwear on your head and you
Speaker 4: were running around. You were saying, I'm the underwear monster. Dad.
Speaker 1: They're selling your book at Urban Outfitters because it's a
Speaker 1: bathroom one liner.
Speaker 6: You can't call that a memoir.
Speaker 4: Well, it's about you, guys, and how much joy you
Speaker 4: brought me, and how funny it was to be a dad, and.
Speaker 5: How silly it was a arguments we got into having.
Speaker 4: You were out of town for the weekend because you
Speaker 4: were taking the two of them for that duet that
Speaker 4: they were doing at the Disney Opera House in LA
Speaker 4: and I had to be with util and I had
Speaker 4: to teach you how to use a feminine pad.
Speaker 5: Remember that crazy story.
Speaker 3: It's in my book book.
Speaker 1: You guys, when you guys were dad had to teach
Speaker 1: me how to use a pad. You wrote it in
Speaker 1: your book, my book, you guys.
Speaker 2: Weren't there, thought, well, a different perspective.
Speaker 11: My dad taught me how to use a pad.
Speaker 6: And you were out of town singing at the Disney
Speaker 6: Opera House.
Speaker 2: Well, in my book, I was there, Remember I I was.
Speaker 4: I was late for your musical when you were Lord Oklahoma,
Speaker 4: and I came in on your solo and I and
Speaker 4: I stood and yeah, and everyone gave you a standing
Speaker 4: ovation because they thought that I was standing for you
Speaker 4: and I had just arrived and I.
Speaker 5: Gave you a standing ovation. You know that was just
Speaker 5: a funny moment.
Speaker 3: What's funny. It's in my book as my daddy gave
Speaker 3: me a standing ovation. I didn't know. You just walked in.
Speaker 3: But there'll be a second print and.
Speaker 8: You're going to revise it.
Speaker 5: I just don't understand.
Speaker 3: Why are we here if it's not for revisions.
Speaker 11: I mean, honestly, retweet.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 4: I've never seen someone cry. We'll say retweet that was crazy.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, everybody. I am happy to be here. I
Speaker 4: only realized when I walked in and saw all of
Speaker 4: your covers that I'm maybe not a positive influence in
Speaker 4: these books. So I'm kind of dealing with that. But
Speaker 4: I don't want to take over the conversation here. I'd
Speaker 4: love for my wonderful, wonderful third child to introduce themselves.
Speaker 2: Hi. My name is Otto Martyr. I wrote the book
Speaker 2: Skateboarding Through Life, series of short stories and ideas about
Speaker 2: how guys can just chill. Yeah. You might remember me
Speaker 2: as a little Otto.
Speaker 12: The monkey boy of the family, always doing his monkey
Speaker 12: little tricks.
Speaker 5: M it's not.
Speaker 2: Funny to me. Yeah, it's trauma.
Speaker 3: Can ask you a question, brother, Trauma. I know, I know,
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 5: Go ahead.
Speaker 1: We're in your book about skateboarding is when dad taught
Speaker 1: me how to use a pad like I'd like for
Speaker 1: you to read it because I think that's not your
Speaker 1: story to tell, so I'd like to hear your stories.
Speaker 5: It's also it's it's advice.
Speaker 2: It's it's I've gleamed advice through my life.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: This is a chapter called Red, White and Pad.
Speaker 5: So that's where it is.
Speaker 2: It's a full chapter chapter in my skateboarding and life advice.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you complete a trick, and sometimes a trick completes you.
Speaker 2: Sometimes a trick takes years and years and years of
Speaker 2: hard work and dedication to figure out. And that trick
Speaker 2: is the greatest trick of all the women's biology, the
Speaker 2: trick that God played on every woman. Men, if you're listening,
Speaker 2: be kind to your woman during this month. She doesn't
Speaker 2: know what she's up against, and you don't either.
Speaker 8: During this month.
Speaker 5: Men, if you're listening.
Speaker 2: Men, because I have an audiobook recorded, I wrote it
Speaker 2: for the audiobook.
Speaker 3: Maybe in the second print you can just make that
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 2: I'm not changing my word. I'm not changing it.
Speaker 3: Well okay, yeah, everyone's memory is different.
Speaker 2: Women, listen up. Be kind to your guide during your
Speaker 2: time too. You don't know what's happening. It's all hormonal.
Speaker 8: You don't know what's happening.
Speaker 5: Are all hormonal? Taught him that, I'm giving did you?
Speaker 3: Where did they come from? I did teach you when
Speaker 3: they got the bloody reds again, they're being.
Speaker 2: Cuckoo, cuckoo.
Speaker 7: I did teach them that because it's important to know
Speaker 7: for men to know why we're crazy.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's important for men to know.
Speaker 8: Why why these things happen.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 7: I'd like to read my section of this book because
Speaker 7: I think I think you'll find it interesting.
Speaker 3: Who's the best selling one of everyone? That's the really
Speaker 3: question me, I think, okay, I think so, just wondering.
Speaker 5: Yes, I mean, I'm not proud of it.
Speaker 7: Chapter fourteen, betrayal, betrayal, betrayal. My daughter couldn't wait until
Speaker 7: I was back in town to have her period. A
Speaker 7: period is supposed to be something for a mother and
Speaker 7: a daughter to share. I was so excited. I've planned
Speaker 7: a party for the day I thought it would be.
Speaker 7: But she didn't have a period on that day. Oh
Speaker 7: my god, she had it early when I was out
Speaker 7: of town. This is just one of many problems I have.
Speaker 11: How dare you?
Speaker 2: The full chapter?
Speaker 11: So that wasn't call it how dare you?
Speaker 4: I will say, I will say, honey, I do love
Speaker 4: how you in all your chapters.
Speaker 5: And by the way, that's not the end of it.
Speaker 4: And then you say with another chapter you always go,
Speaker 4: this is one of many problems.
Speaker 5: Oh, and there's so much more. I love the way
Speaker 5: you do.
Speaker 1: You worry people are gonna think that's the end of
Speaker 1: the book because the chapter's ending. I think it's important
Speaker 1: to to communicate with people.
Speaker 11: I'm just sorry.
Speaker 1: You know, my period isn't quite over yet. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: my period couldn't be on a perfect timer for you, mom.
Speaker 1: And I'm sorry my older sister was a little bit
Speaker 1: more perfect for you.
Speaker 7: I'm just saying that her period landed perfectly on her
Speaker 7: period party.
Speaker 8: And didn't you remember your period party?
Speaker 1: Wasn't it so fun?
Speaker 7: We got a ferris wheel and and face paint and
Speaker 7: a clown.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, we had a fairis wheel and that clown.
Speaker 11: And you loved it, didn't you.
Speaker 3: I felt really crazy. I felt really embarrassed.
Speaker 2: Woady read the exact because you wrote about the period
Speaker 2: party in your memoir.
Speaker 3: You read mind courses. Thanks brother. Absolutely see. I've memorized
Speaker 3: the page because that's the one that really keeps me
Speaker 3: up at night. Chapter twenty six, interesting chapter Mommy, what nothing?
Speaker 3: Mommy looked at me today again, and she's always thinking
Speaker 3: about my sister. What's your name? My name is tilt,
Speaker 3: you bitch? Tilt Tilt? Okay, tilt my name? Sorry, I forgot.
Speaker 3: Mommy was always looking at.
Speaker 5: Just changed it.
Speaker 3: I looked at mommy, and the fairest we was spinning
Speaker 3: wild behind her head. She didn't know how badly this
Speaker 3: party had made me feel. Daddy was gone with the
Speaker 3: band again, Brother and Tilt were nowhere to be found.
Speaker 3: As always, there was popcorn, candy and all of my friends.
Speaker 3: They love me so much. They look at me like
Speaker 3: an idol. I got my period today and my mom said, congratulations,
Speaker 3: you're a woman. I said, you're the real woman, Mommy.
Speaker 3: I love you, and I'm sorry my family's so weird.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry they're not here. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: I looked up and I knew in that moment that
Speaker 3: despite all of the things, the ferris wheel and all
Speaker 3: of the celebration and being the star child wouldn't make
Speaker 3: up for how little my other family, who wasn't here,
Speaker 3: thought of me. That was the most sad day of
Speaker 3: my entire life.
Speaker 7: Yes, beautiful, and I just want to commend you for,
Speaker 7: you know, for putting it all out there and be
Speaker 7: so honest about about where the pain comes from. It's
Speaker 7: it's you know, it's it's tough to open your eyes
Speaker 7: sometimes to see yourself in print. But this is I'm
Speaker 7: really proud of you for taking this step.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Sometimes the parties, it's not clear where the
Speaker 3: pain is, and the pain can be in the biggest
Speaker 3: party that's been thrown for you for all time, and
Speaker 3: it can still be the worst day of your life.
Speaker 5: Can I be honest with you something?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 4: You guys don't know. Your mother wouldn't let me see
Speaker 4: you when you were on your periods. Well, I said,
Speaker 4: she said, she's I know, she said, the rad monster
Speaker 4: they will get you. She's she describes you as monsters.
Speaker 1: Wait, Daddy, so you were there all the time.
Speaker 3: You were going to war for a quick week.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was fake. I was staying at the Ramada
Speaker 5: Inn downtown.
Speaker 2: You were lying about war.
Speaker 5: Well, like I wasn't lying to you. I could see you.
Speaker 4: We would go to the skatepark and Brad taught you
Speaker 4: how to do a wheelie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember how you taught me how to do
Speaker 2: a whel on a skateboard. It doesn't even make sense.
Speaker 5: No one's ever done it before. It's my own thing
Speaker 5: I figured out.
Speaker 7: I'm sorry I wouldn't let you see our daughters when
Speaker 7: they were on their periods.
Speaker 3: I have something I want to share from my book.
Speaker 5: I do want to hear a little bit of a
Speaker 5: justification real quick.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 7: And the reason, of course, is because because of our heritage.
Speaker 7: Have you heard the legend in our village, Your great
Speaker 7: great great great great great grandmother lived in a village
Speaker 7: that believed a period monster would come into the night
Speaker 7: and steal the families finances. I wanted to protect us.
Speaker 7: And if you were logging in and out of the
Speaker 7: bank account during the time of the month that our
Speaker 7: daughters were on their periods, well notes we could have lost, as.
Speaker 1: We could have.
Speaker 5: Stretch.
Speaker 4: Also, I do resent that it's my ancestors. You said,
Speaker 4: it's my great.
Speaker 11: Great great great grand great great Greg.
Speaker 5: It's my fault.
Speaker 4: I can't see my own daughter, my own daughters on
Speaker 4: their own periods, can't.
Speaker 8: You almost lost?
Speaker 1: You're doing the fake cry the garland there's a tornado thing,
Speaker 1: and I'm.
Speaker 4: Over here teaching rew. I'm teaching Tilts how to use
Speaker 4: a feminine pat and I go. I gotta go right now.
Speaker 4: This is why it might come up soon. I have
Speaker 4: to leave because I couldn't even be there when you
Speaker 4: wanted to read something.
Speaker 5: I mean, it's what no, please, I want to hear it.
Speaker 3: No, you don't need to hear my p.
Speaker 2: I the way you you kind of put your words
Speaker 2: together in your book, I thought it was interesting. It's
Speaker 2: more poetic.
Speaker 1: Well, if my brother wants to hear it, I'll read
Speaker 1: it from my brother.
Speaker 5: I want to hear it too.
Speaker 3: I'm open, I'm I'm here, are and I.
Speaker 4: I would say, you asked us to sit on nether
Speaker 4: side of you? What you asked? You said advitations?
Speaker 3: Well, I also asked to reschedule because I had my
Speaker 3: period last week and and it's over now, and so
Speaker 3: we can all sit together.
Speaker 5: Just chose to sit with the parents. Thing is interesting.
Speaker 10: The scariest moment happens once a month when I lose
Speaker 10: control of my body and somehow I lose my daddy
Speaker 10: every time. Why does dad go to war every time
Speaker 10: I don't feel well? And why does he come back
Speaker 10: and I feel better? Am I the reason he's gone?
Speaker 5: Do I? Cause?
Speaker 6: War is the war inside?
Speaker 5: Where is it outside?
Speaker 1: I was confused, mother, if you told me he was leaving,
Speaker 1: I thought I was the reason.
Speaker 5: He was going.
Speaker 2: And can I say I loved how you wrote that
Speaker 2: chapter in the voice of your younger self.
Speaker 5: Really nice?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I mean that is One of the things
Speaker 1: about my piece is that it follows each year, and
Speaker 1: each chapter number correlates to the age I was. So
Speaker 1: Chapter one is a couple of Google gagas Dad Mama,
Speaker 1: and then chapter two.
Speaker 2: When the future, when you're in chapter one kind of
Speaker 2: forty fifty.
Speaker 1: Yes, I just had Ai take care of I Love
Speaker 1: the Future chapter.
Speaker 5: I didn't like what Ai said about me.
Speaker 2: We'll get over it.
Speaker 7: I'd like to talk about something, and it's it's something
Speaker 7: that came up in all of our books. I believe
Speaker 7: because I, you know, I did my homework. I want
Speaker 7: to know I read them all.
Speaker 3: I didn't know you read myn Mommy.
Speaker 8: Of course I did.
Speaker 3: Think.
Speaker 8: Of course I did, Darling. It was very good.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 2: I Mommy's favorite.
Speaker 7: I want to talk about our appearance on the Jay
Speaker 7: Leno Show when we had a family band performance that well,
Speaker 7: some people say was out of tune, and I believe
Speaker 7: it because it was because we were out of tune
Speaker 7: with each other leading up to the performance, and when
Speaker 7: they cut back to Jay after the performance was done,
Speaker 7: he said, uh, all right, which was something he's never said,
Speaker 7: you know, and it invoked sort of a feeling in
Speaker 7: all of our stomachs.
Speaker 8: That wasn't right.
Speaker 2: I think it'd probably be best to watch the clip
Speaker 2: of that performance. Let's uh, let's roll the clip of
Speaker 2: that performance.
Speaker 8: We were singing what were we singing? Banana pancakes?
Speaker 5: Pancakes?
Speaker 11: Can't you see that?
Speaker 5: No need to go outside?
Speaker 3: Outside, to go outside?
Speaker 11: Wolf?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 1: And whoever uploaded that to Vine? I didn't even know
Speaker 1: you could do that? Can I say something that's what
Speaker 1: ruined us? I'll say it is when it went by
Speaker 1: Ron Vine, sorry saying brother, to.
Speaker 2: Be fair, it wasn't as bad as I remember it being.
Speaker 5: It was fine.
Speaker 2: It was fine the cover of it.
Speaker 4: Can I read I'd like to read my excerpt from
Speaker 4: from from that experience. One of my favorite experiences was
Speaker 4: going to Burbank, California and seeing the one and only
Speaker 4: Jay Little. I had a wonderful time with my gorgeous
Speaker 4: family saying one of my favorite songs of all time,
Speaker 4: Jack Johnson.
Speaker 5: Backstage, I met Kevin Eubanks.
Speaker 4: I even said to Jay, hey, why don't you ask
Speaker 4: me one of those jaywalking questions? He said, no, you
Speaker 4: looks like you'd answer all of them, right. You look
Speaker 4: like a smart guy. Hoo, Jay Little called me a
Speaker 4: smart guy. After then we went to claim Jumper Tilt
Speaker 4: got on the scale and weighed the exact weight of
Speaker 4: her meal, and so we actually didn't have to pay
Speaker 4: for it.
Speaker 5: Then we stopped by the Warner Brothers a lot.
Speaker 4: We all sat on the friend's couch and had such
Speaker 4: a fun time.
Speaker 5: Exactly how I remember it.
Speaker 3: At the same moment, someone could same moment of the
Speaker 3: same moment, I'll go.
Speaker 2: Okay, sometimes when you're on a long board, it's all
Speaker 2: smooth sally, and sometimes you hit a crack and hit
Speaker 2: the curb. Man, if this happens to you, to get
Speaker 2: up and shake it off. And ladies, if you're looking
Speaker 2: for a good guy, look no further than Jay Leno himself.
Speaker 2: This was a moment that defined the rest of my
Speaker 2: life in a negative way. From this moment, I would
Speaker 2: always be hurt, always be shaken, always be broken, always
Speaker 2: be looking for something that answers the central question, am
Speaker 2: I good enough for this world? Or will my legacy die?
Speaker 2: Just like every skateboard I've ever owned broken on an allie, Ladies,
Speaker 2: if you're looking for advice on how to get guys,
Speaker 2: looks no further. Did you know that ninety of women
Speaker 2: are single. You got to put yourself out there.
Speaker 4: This feels like a couple books in one.
Speaker 8: This is a few different books in one.
Speaker 2: If you see a guy that's in pain, be the
Speaker 2: first one to go talk to him. It's actually more
Speaker 2: important than you think. To be continued.
Speaker 5: Why do you surprise? What are you surprised? I pitched.
Speaker 5: I didn't know that. They added that.
Speaker 2: I said, big letter to be continued dot dot dot,
Speaker 2: and you turn the page and there it is.
Speaker 3: So you have a ghost writer.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I'm not a ghostwriter.
Speaker 6: It sounds like a ghostroute.
Speaker 3: What do you mean.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, not a ghost.
Speaker 3: I wrote ourselves and just toiled years and.
Speaker 5: Years, and I always to work it.
Speaker 2: I'm writing everything. I'm just audio writing it.
Speaker 6: You said that about your algebra homework, and it didn't
Speaker 6: make sense.
Speaker 2: I'm writing my audio. I'm audio recording my algebra homework.
Speaker 2: Like I said, two plus two equals four A plus
Speaker 2: b equal c. So if you take the C and
Speaker 2: divide it each by two, you're gonna get A over
Speaker 2: two plus B over two equal C.
Speaker 3: Over two equals ninety percent of women are single.
Speaker 2: So and that's wow, it's true. I looked it up
Speaker 2: based on based on science.
Speaker 3: Okay, I didn't know. No, I'm not a scientist. I'm
Speaker 3: a writer, because I wrote everywhere always has.
Speaker 2: To be funny, it can't be smart.
Speaker 5: We got that big ceramic banana, and you used to
Speaker 5: walk around here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, monkey Boy, when you would walk in and go,
Speaker 1: who clog the toilet again and going to monkey mo,
Speaker 1: monkey Boy, and you'd be.
Speaker 3: On the skateboard for you.
Speaker 5: I'm missing so much. I could do that. I could
Speaker 5: give me monkey Boy.
Speaker 2: No, don't ask Ai to give you monkey Boy bad things.
Speaker 3: If you upload a picture then and do that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and the A, I will do it. And it worked
Speaker 3: very well.
Speaker 5: It worked well.
Speaker 2: I have a memoir of the jay Leno experience that
Speaker 2: we went through.
Speaker 8: I thought you'd never ask.
Speaker 1: Chapter sixteen, This is gonna hurt.
Speaker 5: Wow. Just wow.
Speaker 7: By the way, the book isn't over yet. I worked
Speaker 7: my butt off sending headshots to Burbank, California so that
Speaker 7: my family could have a wonderful time. And this is
Speaker 7: the thanks I get. This is the thanks I get.
Speaker 7: Just a breakfast in bed. This is the thanks I get.
Speaker 8: It's my birthday and that's it.
Speaker 7: That's all I get. What shouldn't it be more? Shouldn't
Speaker 7: it be more?
Speaker 5: Why?
Speaker 8: Why on earth did I do this? I am a
Speaker 8: sacrificial lamb.
Speaker 5: Oh the title of the book.
Speaker 8: And that's just one of the many problems I had
Speaker 8: about that.
Speaker 2: Such short chapters.
Speaker 1: And was that the final chapter of the book, because
Speaker 1: you didn't say.
Speaker 7: So, that was the problem, one of the problems I
Speaker 7: had about that. Yeah, and that's how I end every chapter.
Speaker 8: And then we'll sue that.
Speaker 7: So if you had read to chapter seventeen, you would
Speaker 7: know that it starts going.
Speaker 8: By the way, it isn't over yet.
Speaker 7: Look, I felt tired and disrespected on that trip I did.
Speaker 7: I felt disrespected because I wanted to, you know, do
Speaker 7: some extra stuff on Jay Leno and and nobody wanted
Speaker 7: to do the extra stuff.
Speaker 2: You wanted to do. Stand up mom, and it just
Speaker 2: wasn't there yet. We kept on telling you your type
Speaker 2: five was very loose.
Speaker 1: It was well, you begged Jay and it was so
Speaker 1: uncomfortable for us.
Speaker 6: We were just kids and we had to see you.
Speaker 7: Like all you had to do may sit there and
Speaker 7: you don't make out with him was so disgusting.
Speaker 2: You said, I'll make out with you if you let
Speaker 2: me do my tight five.
Speaker 6: It's in front of Dad, like you kept it loose.
Speaker 4: It was so loose, and it was also very It
Speaker 4: was almost Bob Newhart esk. It was like a conversation
Speaker 4: between a milkman and a post or something.
Speaker 2: I think we have a clip. Put let's just watch
Speaker 2: a little.
Speaker 5: Clip of this standard session. I filmed it on my BlackBerry.
Speaker 7: Jay, Jay, I want you to listen to this, Jay,
Speaker 7: I want you to listen.
Speaker 5: Here's the deal here.
Speaker 7: The milkman turns to the paper boy and he says,
Speaker 7: I have three cans of milk. And the paper boy says,
Speaker 7: extra extra read all about what? And the milkman says, well,
Speaker 7: I have three cans of milk. Won't you listen to me?
Speaker 7: Then a Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into
Speaker 7: a bar and they ask the bartender say, no way,
Speaker 7: I can get some milk around here.
Speaker 8: They all go to a golf course. They're having a laugh.
Speaker 7: There are five drinks in right, there are five drinks
Speaker 7: in ah. Worm man walks by, a woman walks fine,
Speaker 7: is so beautiful? All the Jew, the Catholic, the muscle
Speaker 7: and they all look at each other and they go wow, Wow, Wow, Wow,
Speaker 7: the milkman, the paper boy.
Speaker 8: They're off to the side. Now they're having their own
Speaker 8: internal dialogue and they're going.
Speaker 7: Did you see the Yankees one today? I saw the
Speaker 7: Yankees one today. Now the Catholic overhears this and he said,
Speaker 7: you said the Yankees one today?
Speaker 5: Anything, get out of my car, okay, watching.
Speaker 1: Your mom cheat on your dad in order to do that.
Speaker 5: Just to do setups, never hit a joke, just all.
Speaker 3: Set up and stand upset.
Speaker 5: Hold on, how is that racist?
Speaker 3: Do you say you're a Democrat?
Speaker 2: Dad?
Speaker 11: No, daddy, how it was sucking asshole?
Speaker 8: Honey, thank you, honey.
Speaker 5: That's when we.
Speaker 11: Created fucking house.
Speaker 5: That's when we all started.
Speaker 1: Remember, this is when we all decided to sleep on
Speaker 1: the bottom bunk together every night.
Speaker 5: Of our three bunk bed that I bought you.
Speaker 3: The twin the twins too much. It was so squashed.
Speaker 1: That's when we got really close. It was when there
Speaker 1: was a lot of That's when you guys started fighting.
Speaker 1: And it was and it was hard, it was so hard,
Speaker 1: had to foot, had to foot.
Speaker 5: It was like by choice, you had enough beds, you
Speaker 5: were all even in the same room.
Speaker 3: And you made me go in the middle, which it's
Speaker 3: like the squashiest part that's the most uncomfortable.
Speaker 7: I did read about your chapter about being squished in
Speaker 7: the middle on the bed.
Speaker 3: You read that one I did? Was that before or
Speaker 3: after you were fucking jay Leno?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Chandy, you know study thinks that's what
Speaker 1: you think.
Speaker 5: The word.
Speaker 2: I will break out physically.
Speaker 1: It hurts the deeper than you, the harder it hurts.
Speaker 3: Is that okay? To go ahead and read the part
Speaker 3: you are okay with us?
Speaker 5: Go ahead.
Speaker 3: I'd love to hear it because the word isn't it?
Speaker 3: A few times? Sorry? I could replace that with no.
Speaker 8: She has to learn.
Speaker 5: Good for her everywhere where she's going to have it is.
Speaker 3: It's in many places, especially if you're with mommy. Daddy said,
Speaker 3: see this is the thing that it makes you.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, that is what I didn't say.
Speaker 2: What are you talking?
Speaker 5: I think you're inventing things now again, Mummy.
Speaker 8: It seems, Mummy seems I can do. Don't be who shady?
Speaker 11: After all?
Speaker 3: Mummy done for this.
Speaker 2: To be edgyrying.
Speaker 3: I don't want to crush I don't want to crush out.
Speaker 13: She's my memory of things, and everybody's memory is different.
Speaker 8: It's actually beautiful, fine, go ahead.
Speaker 3: I mean that was our biggest hit. Thank you.
Speaker 5: It's my memory of things that everybody's different. Course, they
Speaker 5: just said it was being played on k rock every day.
Speaker 3: Our originals.
Speaker 2: Kevin could not enough of our slow ballad O k
Speaker 2: R o Q K rock everybody's memories.
Speaker 8: They loved it.
Speaker 14: Dude, would be really love it, brother, brother, No, I
Speaker 14: don't want to do it if no one else wants
Speaker 14: to the day.
Speaker 8: Four cups of coffee.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 3: I mean that is my favorite ballad that we ever did,
Speaker 3: and it would be really neat if we could all
Speaker 3: do it together again one day, only if we totally
Speaker 3: agreed and everything.
Speaker 5: Read it.
Speaker 2: Read it before I go off on KROK.
Speaker 5: I have four chapters about that radio station.
Speaker 3: Fuck man, fuck, here we are again on the bottom
Speaker 3: monk of Sorry, I need my glasses.
Speaker 8: It's okay, you can say please start. Please say it
Speaker 8: from the top so we.
Speaker 3: All know, don't I couldn't. I read it wrong. I
Speaker 3: said fuck fuck, but it's actually should I change the
Speaker 3: word sorry, But I just need to stay.
Speaker 5: We can't take that.
Speaker 3: Fuck man. Fuck, I'm here you sure, daddy, I'm here
Speaker 3: again in the in the bunk with them. They think
Speaker 3: it's fun. They think it's fun, and it used to be.
Speaker 3: When his feet were in my face, all I saw
Speaker 3: were the toenails. When the toenails are in front of
Speaker 3: my eyes, I.
Speaker 2: Just can't get to read again.
Speaker 7: Is it?
Speaker 2: Is it sad or is it happy?
Speaker 3: It's you'll see when I book is a memory, so
Speaker 3: it doesn't have to be funny or sad to be
Speaker 3: written about. It's my memory. The tonailed again. I'm here
Speaker 3: again in this I feel like I should stop. Okay,
Speaker 3: you guys, Okay, I'm gonna do it. Fuck man, I'm
Speaker 3: here again in this bunk. Fuck fuck fuck me. Wow,
Speaker 3: I'm hearing this.
Speaker 5: His toenails? Ask what about his toenails?
Speaker 2: I have to know if this is positive or negative?
Speaker 8: Is we have to hear?
Speaker 3: His toenails are in front of my two eyes. When
Speaker 3: I look at them closely, they remind me of knives.
Speaker 3: He doesn't clip them enough. And sometimes I think that's funny,
Speaker 3: like when they scratch me on the cheek and they
Speaker 3: tickle me while I sleep.
Speaker 5: Again Negative positive.
Speaker 3: And sometimes I think maybe he's threatening my eyes so
Speaker 3: to speak. Over, I hope we get a TV in
Speaker 3: here soon.
Speaker 5: It over it's over.
Speaker 3: And I can watch a screen instead of his weird feet.
Speaker 2: Wown't believe memoir.
Speaker 8: Honey, your trauma is so valid and this it's very
Speaker 8: powerful stuff. And I wonder if your brothers ever apologized.
Speaker 2: To I couldn't tell if that was trauma or a
Speaker 2: happy memory. Well, I was so in the middle.
Speaker 3: It's more about mommy and daddy because they didn't teach
Speaker 3: you to clip your toenails, and they didn't teach you unkept.
Speaker 3: He was uncupt and who was in the squashy metal
Speaker 3: of the unkeptness on my left and right?
Speaker 11: Boy's monkey boy, moy boy everything.
Speaker 12: I think.
Speaker 11: I think Sany has a good point.
Speaker 1: I think you guys have a weird way, the point
Speaker 1: that we're not being and women are viruses.
Speaker 4: Well, here's something I did want to bring up that
Speaker 4: I'm kind of embarrassed about. I don't be know that
Speaker 4: it's in all of your memoirs. There was a time
Speaker 4: we took a trip to a root but we all
Speaker 4: shared a hotel room. I didn't know you guys were
Speaker 4: in the room. I came out of the shower, I
Speaker 4: was naked, and somehow my description the description of seeing
Speaker 4: me naked is in all of your books.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not very nice. I think it's I didn't
Speaker 4: know that that was such a core memory for you guys.
Speaker 4: I was literally just putting on my bathing suit.
Speaker 1: Bouch that Bulture article that put all of our interpretations
Speaker 1: of his body from all of our memoirs up together.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and then they put it in that word cloud.
Speaker 5: Were the biggest.
Speaker 8: Scary, crooked trauma, crooked one ball used.
Speaker 4: You all used one ball? That was the one connector
Speaker 4: why did you guys have to put that in? You know,
Speaker 4: I wish you would have told me that you were
Speaker 4: talking about my reader in your books. You know, I
Speaker 4: think that I didn't know that was a huge deal.
Speaker 3: I don't know people didn't only have one ball because
Speaker 3: of that moment, and so that's a big sexuality alignment.
Speaker 5: It was a sexual awakening seat that one ball.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, I never want to see that again.
Speaker 3: Then when I saw the next person that had two,
Speaker 3: I went, WHOA Daddy.
Speaker 5: Sounds like a bit of a sexual darkening for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it was not.
Speaker 3: An awakening to me. I just want to clarify.
Speaker 1: That's what happens with humans, right, Something happens and it
Speaker 1: all ripples in a different way.
Speaker 6: All right, did you write about it in your book?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Oh, I didn't bring that up.
Speaker 4: I brought I brought up that one time we all
Speaker 4: went to the Bob's Big Boy Classic car show and
Speaker 4: sat around.
Speaker 2: And we remember we took a picture of the hot rod. Yeah,
Speaker 2: how could I forget?
Speaker 5: That was awesome?
Speaker 2: How did you write in your book?
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, boy, oh boy, what a wonderful day.
Speaker 4: Went over down to Bob's Big Boy saw all the
Speaker 4: classic cars, didn't even know what was happening, got a
Speaker 4: classic chocolate malt. Reminded me of getting chocolate malts with
Speaker 4: my dad, and I'm glad I got to share it
Speaker 4: with my kids. Oh what's this? A big old classic
Speaker 4: car that he even brought the car from Batman. It
Speaker 4: really got Tilts excited.
Speaker 2: We had a wonderfu book, the most sold book. I
Speaker 2: don't old Man's blog.
Speaker 1: Customer is not this voice.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, I want to shout out the people that
Speaker 4: you know put all the cool picture collages together.
Speaker 5: I think it's mostly collages.
Speaker 4: There's a teenager that's really popular on Tumblr that did it,
Speaker 4: and it's been really fun.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think we all know why it went so popular.
Speaker 2: It's because we're only in the second half of your book.
Speaker 2: The first half your book is when you traveled the
Speaker 2: world with those three people before you met Mom, and
Speaker 2: your trials and tribulations on the quest to find yourself.
Speaker 3: That's why we think.
Speaker 5: So yes.
Speaker 4: Selling the first half of my book being you know,
Speaker 4: about being one of the founding men or members of
Speaker 4: the Source family, a very famous cult.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Sure, you know.
Speaker 4: We had moved to Hawaii and then the cult leader
Speaker 4: died because he said God will save me and he
Speaker 4: fell off a hang glider and died.
Speaker 5: That's real, you know. That's that. I was there for that,
Speaker 5: and that was part of what happened for me. But
Speaker 5: but this is my life. This is the life I
Speaker 5: care about. I love you, guys. I love you. I
Speaker 5: miss you, honey. Where do you even live?
Speaker 11: I miss you, honey.
Speaker 1: I'm in Temecula.
Speaker 3: Where are you?
Speaker 5: Oh, I'm in Riverside. Too close either, it's not it's
Speaker 5: not nothing, you know.
Speaker 2: Just a long enough of a driver.
Speaker 11: It's just not going to.
Speaker 8: Work, unfortunately.
Speaker 7: But no, it is nice to see this family together again.
Speaker 7: I want to share a different chapter that I wrote.
Speaker 8: It's called pain.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 7: The year is twenty thirteen. A flash mob is appearing
Speaker 7: outside the Americana brand. I think I want to marry you,
Speaker 7: they say. But all I can say is I wish
Speaker 7: I had remarried my family when it counted. I wish
Speaker 7: I had been there for them. I wish I hadn't
Speaker 7: been there so selfish all the time. I wish I
Speaker 7: hadn't been thinking about me.
Speaker 11: With realization she's.
Speaker 2: American, it makes you here really be mad at her.
Speaker 7: I wish I wish I had a second chance. But no,
Speaker 7: I think I'll just write this memoir get attention that way.
Speaker 7: But no, it won't work, because the true thing I
Speaker 7: want is forgiveness. I was a bad family man, band manager,
Speaker 7: a mamager so to speak.
Speaker 8: Ha ha, Look, I gotta figure this out.
Speaker 1: I gotta clear my head.
Speaker 8: I gotta clear my head.
Speaker 2: Sounds like she's going to do something.
Speaker 5: I have to do.
Speaker 8: I have to do something. Hold on, I'm not done
Speaker 8: with this. I'm not done with this book yet. Wait
Speaker 8: right here.
Speaker 3: Wait, this is crazy, mom. I'm sorry at the end
Speaker 3: to wait right here. I'm not done writing the book.
Speaker 3: Wait right here.
Speaker 5: Whoa whoa, whoa, whoa there partner, WHOA. I know you're
Speaker 5: enjoying the episode, but there's something else you might enjoy.
Speaker 5: You see these hats that make us look like we
Speaker 5: work on set somewhere.
Speaker 7: You might like these hats if you're a fan of
Speaker 7: the pod.
Speaker 1: And if you're a fan of the pod, you can
Speaker 1: wear the pod with.
Speaker 4: Merch, Yes, but cool merch merch. That doesn't tell anyone
Speaker 4: that you like the pod except for someone else who
Speaker 4: likes the pod. We have shirt and we have hats
Speaker 4: that have all different things on them like TV shows,
Speaker 4: internet videos, movies.
Speaker 5: This one's bagged so I could send it right to
Speaker 5: you if you buy it. You can buy that one
Speaker 5: I'll give you on there's hat in a bag.
Speaker 7: You can order it an artist on artists on, artists
Speaker 7: on artists dot com.
Speaker 1: And while you're on our website, side our guestbook.
Speaker 5: Come on and play some games. I think we got
Speaker 5: a watermelon drop on there.
Speaker 4: Come on, come on, enjoy the rest of the episode
Speaker 4: and give your friends a kids.
Speaker 7: And the second book that I'm going to release, it's
Speaker 7: about my journey to forgiveness. This is my journey to
Speaker 7: apology and self actualization. So I'm sorry, I'm sorry I
Speaker 7: didn't let you in the house when they were on
Speaker 7: their periods. I'm sorry all a lot of this was
Speaker 7: period stuff, and I'm sorry about all of it. And
Speaker 7: I'm sorry that I've forced you to play in a
Speaker 7: band that well sucked.
Speaker 6: This is crazy, mom, because I have a chapter in
Speaker 6: my book called pain that i'd like to read for you.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 5: Go ahead, I'm just inspired, of course.
Speaker 1: Holy moly, Holy darn moly, look at the debris on
Speaker 1: the ground of all the lives I've lived.
Speaker 6: Sometimes you read your expert you got a letter, I'm
Speaker 6: so sorry something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so go ahead here I do.
Speaker 1: I too, won't forgiveness. I just it feels like everyone
Speaker 1: else clear throated this whole time.
Speaker 2: I think I've been scratching the whole time.
Speaker 4: Honestly, just imagine you're at the Elks log. You can't
Speaker 4: get us through a single thing without everyone clearing their throats.
Speaker 4: Just don't stop, ELK.
Speaker 2: I was always listening to Jack.
Speaker 1: I miss my family. I wish my family would still
Speaker 1: love me. I guess in writing this book. I guess
Speaker 1: in writing this book, I found myself back to where
Speaker 1: I began, Like a dog chasing its tail. I miss them.
Speaker 1: I miss their disgusting toenails.
Speaker 2: And I didn't know I had a bad toails.
Speaker 3: Doesn't sound like thro It's not her fault.
Speaker 6: I missed him every day, coat coat, yes, please.
Speaker 1: Some days I dream of the moment where we can
Speaker 1: all be together and just air out our grievances and
Speaker 1: for and forgivenesses. Wow, wow, the run the river runs dry.
Speaker 8: Milkman said to the paper boy, what a pair of
Speaker 8: legs on that thing?
Speaker 4: Honestly, no, that is clearing her throat. Sometimes she gets
Speaker 4: joked in her throat, I swear to God. And sometimes
Speaker 4: I was trying.
Speaker 5: To go to sleep.
Speaker 2: Look at the legs all that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I'll be in the middle of the night she
Speaker 4: a good night, and she'll just scream like and the
Speaker 4: doctor was a woman, and sorry.
Speaker 3: Why did you write the legs on that girl?
Speaker 5: Why did you say that?
Speaker 3: At the end, because I couldn't quite follow the beginning,
Speaker 3: because I was I had a little thing, well.
Speaker 1: I was saying something similar to mom that I thought
Speaker 1: that I wanted forgiven it, and I am asked and
Speaker 1: I'm saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was a family
Speaker 1: member that everyone kind of equally disliked. It's okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: It is your family member that everyone wishes they just like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm a family member who can't sell a damn.
Speaker 11: Copy of her book.
Speaker 5: That we do all feel those things. It's not your
Speaker 5: fault that that's exactly who you are.
Speaker 3: It's totally fine.
Speaker 5: It's fine.
Speaker 3: You didn't be like this on purpose. You didn't be
Speaker 3: like this pose.
Speaker 11: You were born this way unlikable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is great for my book and all our books,
Speaker 3: and if we could cut that, that part would be great.
Speaker 3: But off camera, I do want to say that everything
Speaker 3: about you that isn't great is helpful to sell books.
Speaker 3: Did anyone else ask for forgiveness in the end.
Speaker 11: Of their book?
Speaker 3: I actually have a chapter to awesome like mother, like
Speaker 3: you did everyone read my book?
Speaker 5: Copy me?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 8: Sure, I think it's parallel thought.
Speaker 3: Assholes.
Speaker 2: Sometimes life hits you in the face, like a skateboard
Speaker 2: that's just flown off of a half pipe. Sometimes you
Speaker 2: have to listen to that skateboard. It was when I
Speaker 2: was listening to k r o Q, one of six
Speaker 2: point seven, the only channel in Los Angeles the plays
Speaker 2: classic modern and New age rock. Talking anywhere from one
Speaker 2: four sponsor does not play the type of music that
Speaker 2: one of six point seven. This is all my book.
Speaker 3: He any coughs, guys speaking, come on, come.
Speaker 2: On, And when that skateboard. It was that day that
Speaker 2: I was listening that beautiful song from pod came on
Speaker 2: The Youth of the Nation, and the lines go we are,
Speaker 2: we are the youth of the Nation made me realize
Speaker 2: that the nation does exist in the youth, and the
Speaker 2: youth does describe the nation. And I had things that
Speaker 2: I need to apologize for. Men, if you're listening, I
Speaker 2: hope you become a guy kind of like my father,
Speaker 2: an amazing man, he did amazing things in his life,
Speaker 2: and a shadow I'm constantly trying to chase and women.
Speaker 2: If you're listening, I hope you become a little bit
Speaker 2: like the women in my life, because if you're looking
Speaker 2: to score with a guy and put out the right way, dang,
Speaker 2: these tricks in my life really know how to do that?
Speaker 3: Certainly does.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be weird. I don't want to
Speaker 2: be weird. But let's just say my sisters could get
Speaker 2: anything they wanted, and boy did they and my mom, who.
Speaker 3: Knows that I can who are we?
Speaker 2: I guess in the end, life is a little bit
Speaker 2: like this. I'm not a perfect person. There's things I
Speaker 2: wouldn't change. This is, I guess the reason I found
Speaker 2: a reason for me, the reason I choose to be
Speaker 2: the reason, and the reason is my family. Tuba steak
Speaker 2: kind of. I took liberty and changed of I took
Speaker 2: liberty and change the last word the end, keep writing.
Speaker 8: Here's my number, okay if your phone number up.
Speaker 2: Because I love this family. I love my mommy, I
Speaker 2: love my biggie Sissy, I love my daddy, and I
Speaker 2: love my tilt. And I think we shall all write
Speaker 2: a memoir together, yeah, called bringing It back Home. And
Speaker 2: maybe instead of the memoir, we sing it.
Speaker 3: I was gonna sing what if instead of a memoir,
Speaker 3: it's a song.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like every memoir should just be a song.
Speaker 5: Let's just make it a song.
Speaker 3: Ready, let's make it a song.
Speaker 6: Can't you see that it's just rain?
Speaker 5: Hold up, sons out a you no need to go outside? Yes,
Speaker 5: there is, because it's sunny.
Speaker 8: Can't you see that it's just rain?
Speaker 5: But what if it's sonny need to go outside? Unless
Speaker 5: can't you say that?
Speaker 11: Mama?
Speaker 5: Mama?
Speaker 2: Made a baby.
Speaker 13: Babies have friends.
Speaker 3: Baby's got to save me. Sister put out good, you
Speaker 3: saw it all good?
Speaker 2: Yeah this. I hate this family. I am giving everything.
Speaker 5: I trying hard. You were trying, even included.
Speaker 11: Your sister.
Speaker 5: Guys, it likes me, it's so clear.
Speaker 2: Unlikable, oh my liable because you do it to yourself.
Speaker 3: And you're jealous that everybody loves me and throws me
Speaker 3: a Ferris Wheel party while I have my fucking period. Bitch,
Speaker 3: you fucking hates your kids, and I hate your fucking
Speaker 3: Melinda whatever her name is, don't remember.
Speaker 2: She's bored.
Speaker 5: I think we should move back in together, far away.
Speaker 5: I love you.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 8: Barnes right now, Come on over and here.
Speaker 5: Guys, they've started selling my book at Zoomies.
Speaker 4: To get on over there, buy yourself a hoodie, the
Speaker 4: zips all the way around, and buy my book.
Speaker 3: Due to Me to Me, published by Me.
Speaker 1: I forgot the name of my book because it's fake,
Speaker 1: because I didn't write a book a piece.
Speaker 2: Of ship and ladies, if you're looking for dating advice,
Speaker 2: look no further than skateboard Dreams. I'm going to really
Speaker 2: help you out and reach out.
Speaker 5: Guys. I have a reservation for five at mails drive
Speaker 5: in on Hollywood and Highland Artists on Artists as the question, Now,
Speaker 5: that's why they call it show biz. Give it up
Speaker 5: for a wonderful guess.
Speaker 3: Tell well, now it's so awkward, just say they will
Speaker 3: come so great. It was a crazy thing to do
Speaker 3: because it's so serious. Also, I mean, it's funny.
Speaker 2: We're thanking God.
Speaker 6: We're linking all the info about her book in the description.
Speaker 3: So good.
Speaker 5: It's just ship.
Speaker 2: It's so funny for her to do a full memoir
Speaker 2: panel and they go, actually, I have one.
Speaker 3: It's actually, this is making me realize it would have
Speaker 3: been so much more brilliant to do a satire memoir
Speaker 3: that seems totally real.
Speaker 2: So that's what it is.
Speaker 11: Check it out.
Speaker 5: It's goods the same one.
Speaker 6: It's so good, you have to go check it out
Speaker 6: thanks to the beautiful Nay.
Speaker 2: Bye bye.
Speaker 4: Artists on Artists On Artists on Artists is an improvised
Speaker 4: Hollywood round table podcast created and hosted by Kylie Braakman,
Speaker 4: Jeremy Colahane, Angela Guritana, and Patrick McDonald. It is a
Speaker 4: production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartMedia Podcasts.
Speaker 4: Executive produced by Matt Appadaka and produced by Alexandra Dennis
Speaker 4: and Laser Vision Productions. Music by Gabriel Ponton and edited
Speaker 4: by Connor McKay thunbnail art by Josh Florey and logo
Speaker 4: designed by Lucy tom Koitz. Special thanks to Samuel Curtis
Speaker 4: and the Beautiful Dynasty Typewriter Theater. The opinions expressed on
Speaker 4: this podcast do not reflect the opinions of anyone who
Speaker 4: works on it, not even the performers, because this is
Speaker 4: an improvised podcast and we don't know what the heck
Speaker 4: we're talking about. Full video versions of AOA O A
Speaker 4: O A are available on YouTube, so please like and
Speaker 4: subscribe and leave us five star reviews wherever you get
Speaker 4: your podcasts. That's all for now, good Night, Hollywood,