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Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I and Dramas and this is the Street

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Speaker 1: Stoic Podcast, bringing to your daily dose of Thomas Stoic

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Speaker 1: philosophy remixed for the hip hop generation. We are combining

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Speaker 1: ancient philosophy with lyrics and quote from some of the

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Speaker 1: greatest who ever grace a microphone. Now, with that in mind,

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Speaker 1: let's get things started with your daily shot of inspiration.

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Speaker 1: So today we are going to be focusing around the

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Speaker 1: topic of self love. It's something that is incredibly important

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Speaker 1: because it obviously not only affects ourselves and the way

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Speaker 1: that we view the world, but it also affects our

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Speaker 1: relationships that we have in our lives. Right, So I

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Speaker 1: wanted to tackle this topic because it's obviously incredibly important. Now,

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Speaker 1: a quote that I I pulled that was really fitting

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Speaker 1: for me. It comes from DMX and he says, I'm

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Speaker 1: a blessing to whoever really gets to know me. And

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Speaker 1: I love this because X is recognizing his value in

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Speaker 1: in those words. Right, He's essentially saying, I know that

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Speaker 1: I'm someone who can add value to a person's life,

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Speaker 1: but they have to be willing to put in the work,

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Speaker 1: right like he's putting it on the other person, right.

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Speaker 1: He's not saying I need to prove myself to this person.

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Speaker 1: I need to prove my worth. He's saying, No, I

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Speaker 1: know that I'm worthy, I know that I'm special. I

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Speaker 1: know that I am someone who creates value. You have

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Speaker 1: to now take the time to get to know me,

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Speaker 1: right or not? And the choices is the other person.

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Speaker 1: And this leads perfectly to not technically a Stoke quote.

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Speaker 1: It's coming to us from the Daily Stoke Blog. And

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Speaker 1: and he pulled a lyric from the group The Head

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Speaker 1: and Heart. They had a really profound quote that I

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Speaker 1: thought matched up with all that we're talking about, and

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Speaker 1: they said, until you learn to love yourself, the door

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Speaker 1: is locked to someone else. And man, that that hit

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Speaker 1: me like a ton of bricks when I when I

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Speaker 1: read that that quote in the Daily Stoke Blog, right,

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Speaker 1: because what they're saying is until you truly learn to

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Speaker 1: value yourself, you're never going to be able to completely

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Speaker 1: give yourself to someone. And this goes beyond just romantic relationships,

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Speaker 1: right because I think that obviously that's incredibly true. That's

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Speaker 1: the obvious, But I think it also is in regards

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Speaker 1: to friendships, right, You can't be a great friend to somebody.

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Speaker 1: If you don't have self love, if you don't value yourself, right,

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Speaker 1: how can you be there to celebrate another person if

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Speaker 1: you yourself are are searching for that same sort of validation, right,

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Speaker 1: You're not able to truly be there for somebody if

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Speaker 1: you are kind of always having these creeping thoughts of

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Speaker 1: jealousy as a result of your lack of self love.

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Speaker 1: I think it's really important to to do this work,

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Speaker 1: you know, And I relate to this on so many

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Speaker 1: different levels, you know, I think for me specifically when

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Speaker 1: it comes to romantic relationships, you know, I believe that

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Speaker 1: in the past, oftentimes my chase for outside love has

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Speaker 1: harmed a lot of my relationships, right, Like, I valued

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Speaker 1: the chase for validation more than the relationship or even

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Speaker 1: some of my friendships at the time. Right. And for me,

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Speaker 1: you know, lacking in self love that showed up in

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Speaker 1: sort of workaholic tendencies, right, and trying to make sure

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Speaker 1: that I was getting seen and celebrated by as many

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Speaker 1: people as possible, and that you know, I was working

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Speaker 1: day and night to achieve this, right and even when

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Speaker 1: I was in a relationship, you know, oftentimes after that

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Speaker 1: honeymoon period, you know, the the the sort of newness

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Speaker 1: of it would would obviously begin to wear away. And

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Speaker 1: then I searched for outside validation, now not necessarily the

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Speaker 1: form of another woman, but in the form of turning

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Speaker 1: my attention towards some sort of space that would give

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Speaker 1: me the love that I was lacking internally, right, that

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Speaker 1: would make me feel good about myself, make me feel

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Speaker 1: like I was worth something again, all of that centering

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Speaker 1: around the fact that I hadn't taken the time to

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Speaker 1: truly love myself, to get over past traumas, to create

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Speaker 1: a knowledge and more so than a knowledge, a value

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Speaker 1: of who I am and what I have to offer

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Speaker 1: to the world, right and recognizing that it all starts internally.

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Speaker 1: You know, what I feel about myself ends up being

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Speaker 1: a mirror to how the outside world is going to

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Speaker 1: see me. And I think that's something that's really important

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Speaker 1: to kind of keep in mind when we talk about

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Speaker 1: this idea of self love. Now we have heard from

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Speaker 1: man DMX rest in Peace. We have heard from an

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Speaker 1: excerpt from the Daily Stoic blog. I've given you some

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Speaker 1: insight into my life and how this whole concept and

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Speaker 1: this journey of trying to find self love has affected me. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about how you can make it your mantra

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Speaker 1: for today. But first let's take a quick break and

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Speaker 1: then we'll be back. All right, So we have heard

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Speaker 1: the words of DMX, we have heard from man Ryan

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Speaker 1: Holiday's Daily Stoic blog. I've given you some insight into

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Speaker 1: my own life and how this concept of self love

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Speaker 1: shows up and why it's so incredibly important. Now let's

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Speaker 1: talk about how you can make it your mantra for today.

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Speaker 1: And I think at the end of the day, when

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Speaker 1: it comes to self love and finding that love for oneself,

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Speaker 1: apreciation for yourself and who you are, you know, the

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Speaker 1: good parts, the parts that are you know, imperfect, all

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Speaker 1: of that right that that is to me first and foremost,

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Speaker 1: that journey of being able to appreciate yourself. It starts

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Speaker 1: with the idea of self awareness, right, And that's what

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Speaker 1: healing is. And I think at the center of what

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Speaker 1: we're talking about today is the idea of healing. Right.

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Speaker 1: Like healing, the first part of it to me has

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Speaker 1: to be self awareness. Right. We can't correct or fix,

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Speaker 1: you know, a problem that we have not acknowledged, or

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Speaker 1: that we can't see ourselves right. And I think that

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Speaker 1: you know, I would, I would kind of just take

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Speaker 1: inventory of your life. And you know, maybe it is

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Speaker 1: some of the self deprecating things that you might actually

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Speaker 1: be saying to yourself, but also it might be showing

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Speaker 1: up in a more subconscious way for you, you know,

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Speaker 1: your lack of self love. Maybe you are chasing outside validation.

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Speaker 1: You're wasting your time and spaces or around people that

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Speaker 1: you know don't really add much value to your life

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Speaker 1: except for the fact that they sort of put you

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Speaker 1: on this pedestal and that feels good, right, And and

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Speaker 1: when you don't have that, you begin to kind of

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Speaker 1: feel bad about yourself, right, Like, I think it's it's

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Speaker 1: recognizing where we're sort of putting ourselves in situations like

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Speaker 1: that one. And also I think, you know, when it

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Speaker 1: comes to relationships, you know, and maybe you're already in one,

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Speaker 1: maybe you are, you know, wanting to get into a

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Speaker 1: serious relationship. I think it's important to reflect on whether

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Speaker 1: or not you've actually done the work for yourself, right,

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Speaker 1: Have you healed a lot of the traumas that you've

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Speaker 1: gone through? You know, are you searching for a relationship

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Speaker 1: just because you want somebody to make you feel good? Right?

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Speaker 1: Like I think, at the end of the day, a

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Speaker 1: healthy person you know, feels great in their own company,

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Speaker 1: you know, and a relationship, be it a friendship or

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Speaker 1: a romantic one, is an incredible bonus, but it's not

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Speaker 1: a necessity, right. They can't be the source of your happiness,

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Speaker 1: you know, of your contentment that only lasts four butts

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Speaker 1: so long. Right, Eventually you know that person either gets

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Speaker 1: fed up of being the one that you know has

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Speaker 1: to sort of be your pick me up, or the

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Speaker 1: newness of it wears off and you then start searching

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Speaker 1: for other ways of feeling validated. Right, so again that

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Speaker 1: that journey of self love, it all starts within and then,

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Speaker 1: you know, kind of recapping what we're talking about, you know,

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Speaker 1: where you have DMX declaring himself to be a blessing

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Speaker 1: to whoever really wants to get to know him. It's

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Speaker 1: remembering that you are worthy, you are more than good enough,

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Speaker 1: you are valuable, and it's up to other people to

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Speaker 1: recognize that, right and if they do, amazing. If they don't,

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Speaker 1: life goes on. Like DMX says, you know, those who

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Speaker 1: really get to know him are the ones that are

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Speaker 1: going to receive the blessing of his presence, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I love that that quote from from the song

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Speaker 1: by the Head and Heart. Until you learn to love yourself,

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Speaker 1: the door is locked to someone else, right Like, until

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Speaker 1: you are able to value yourself and truly have, you know,

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Speaker 1: an appreciation for who you are and all that you do,

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Speaker 1: You're never really going to be able to love someone else,

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Speaker 1: right because that lack of love that you have is

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Speaker 1: always going to get in the way of truly being

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Speaker 1: able to love someone, right Like, how can you celebrate

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Speaker 1: somebody else's wins when you are insecure of where you

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Speaker 1: are at in your life? Right Like, It's inevitable. We're

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Speaker 1: all human. I've been there. That jealousy is going to

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Speaker 1: creep up, and it's going to diminish your ability to

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Speaker 1: truly celebrate a loved one's you know, win in a

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Speaker 1: particular moment. You know, that's where those those feelings come from.

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Speaker 1: It's a lack of self love, a lack of self

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Speaker 1: appreciation creates that jealousy and your inability to truly celebrate

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Speaker 1: another human being. And if you want to be a

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Speaker 1: good partner in a relationship or a friendship, you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of that is being selfless and you can't

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Speaker 1: be selfless if you don't have that internal self love

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Speaker 1: to fall back on, you know, and even for me,

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Speaker 1: you know, not doing the work prior, I would get

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Speaker 1: into these relationships and I would sort of ignore them

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Speaker 1: with my work because my work gave me validation, right,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't realize that I wasn't putting all of

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Speaker 1: that energy into my relationship, that I was instead, you know,

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Speaker 1: putting all my energy towards trying to get a pat

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Speaker 1: on the back. And that's not fair to my partner.

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Speaker 1: That's not fair to my friends, you know, the fact

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Speaker 1: that they would sort of would come second to this

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Speaker 1: other outside validation. Again, that's something I've had to work on,

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Speaker 1: I continue to work on because it's just not a

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Speaker 1: healthy way to exist, in a healthy way to be

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Speaker 1: in a relationship, be it friendship or romantically. Right. But again,

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Speaker 1: it's a part of healing, and the first step in

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Speaker 1: healing is self awareness. So put yourself out on that

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Speaker 1: journey so that you can be man the best version

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Speaker 1: of yourself. And again remember that the world just holds

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Speaker 1: up a mirror to whatever you're putting out there. Right,

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Speaker 1: So if you want to attract greatness, you first have

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Speaker 1: to do the work internally to be you know, walking

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Speaker 1: as your very best self. Now, with that said, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for checking out the Street Stoke Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Do your best to apply these concepts that we've discussed

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Speaker 1: today into you everyday of life, and I'll catch you

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Speaker 1: next time. The Street Stoke Podcast is a production of

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Speaker 1: Ihearts Michael Tura Podcast Network