1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 1: M H. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, 2 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all 3 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: the small decisions we can make to become the best 4 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy Hard 5 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more 6 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: information or to find a therapist in your area, visit 7 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While 8 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 1: I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, 9 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: it is not meant to be a substitute for a 10 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks 11 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: so much for joining me for such a one of 12 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: the Ape for Black Girls podcast. We know that the 13 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: world has been quite unpredictable and anxiety provoking for many 14 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 1: of us as adults. Well the kids in our lives 15 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 1: are experiencing this as well. To share some light on 16 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 1: how to talk with kids about the things that have 17 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: been happening and how to best support them is Doctor 18 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: Earl Turner. Dr Earl is a licensed psychologist and university 19 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: professor in Los Angeles. As a media psychologist, he writes 20 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,959 Speaker 1: a blog called The Race to Get Health and often 21 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: contributes as a mental health media expert for outlets such 22 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:36,839 Speaker 1: as Oprah Magazine, The Washington Post, Bustle, and NBC News. 23 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: He's also the host of the Breakdown with Dr Earl podcast. 24 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: Doctor Earl served as the President of the Society for 25 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: Child and Family Policy and Practice a p A Division 26 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: thirty seven and is the first African American male to 27 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,639 Speaker 1: be elected to this position. Doctor Earl and I chatted 28 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: about how to start difficult conversations with kids, the impact 29 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: of such an uprooted root teen, and things to consider 30 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: a post pandemic, how to recognize if the kids in 31 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 1: your life need additional support, and some of his favorite 32 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 1: coping strategies to teach kids. If something resonates with you 33 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: while enjoying our conversation, be sure to share with us 34 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: on social media using the hashtag TBG in session. Here's 35 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: our conversation. Thank you so much for joining us today, 36 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: Dr Earl. Thank you for having me. It is an 37 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: absolute pleasure man. You know, Dr Earl, you know you 38 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: and I are a p A friends, fellow Louisiana friends. 39 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: Because it's always great to have someone on the podcast 40 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: that there's a previous history with. But I would love 41 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,920 Speaker 1: for you to start by talking with us about the 42 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: work that you do with the Race Research Lab. Yeah. 43 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 1: So I started my lab a couple of years ago 44 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: after I transitioned into an academic setting. So prior to that, 45 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: I was working as a licensed psychologist and providing some 46 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: thesis the children and families. And I got into academia 47 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: again because I really wanted to continue being able to 48 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 1: do research, but also trained the next generation of clinicians, 49 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,360 Speaker 1: specifically those that are going to be working with more 50 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: gineralized communities. And so my research in my lab really 51 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,399 Speaker 1: focuses and on a spectrum of things alleged to understanding 52 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: mental health, more recently focused on the black community and 53 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: really understanding what are the connections between understanding racism and discrimination, 54 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: but also how just living in America can be stressful 55 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: and traumatic and traumatize it. And so really integrated all 56 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: of those things into my research to understand what are 57 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: those connections to poor mental health outcomes, but also what 58 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: are some of the resiliency factors that might contribute to 59 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: things within the black community in terms of connections to 60 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: religious spirituality, and even more recently understanding how can activism 61 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 1: be actually a source of social support to prevent some 62 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 1: detrimental outcomes for to mental health, and so those are 63 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: the areas that my research tends to focus on with 64 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: my lab. You know, Dr Earl, I am curious if 65 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: you even know where to go based on this last year, right, Like, 66 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: there are so many things it feels like you could 67 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: study next. Are there things kind of particular to the 68 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 1: pandemic or the racial unrest or everything that we've seen 69 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,599 Speaker 1: in this past like eleven months that you're thinking you 70 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 1: want to study next? Yeah, you know, that's a really 71 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: great question because one of the things that I just 72 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: did recently was actually create a new website Therapy for 73 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: Black Kids, and the focus really is to address some 74 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: of the mental health challenges with kids and offer resources 75 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,840 Speaker 1: to parents. In addition to that, I really wanted to 76 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: explore how has the pandemic impacted the black community, and 77 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 1: specifically thinking about black kids and you know, being at 78 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: home and dealing with the stressful environment. From that, the 79 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 1: challenges of of maintaining relationships are lack of relationships, and 80 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,919 Speaker 1: so some of the is that I'm hoping to explore 81 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: from research is really just sort of understand how the 82 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: black community has been able to cope with the stress 83 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: over the last year, and specifically with the pandemic and 84 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: the racial unrest, which can be an additional stress or 85 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 1: how have we been able to really maintain some sense 86 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: of wellness. So we know that the data that has 87 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 1: been coming out in the last couple of months has 88 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: really shown that individuals have experienced a lot of stress 89 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 1: and even more stress, anxiety, depression over the last year 90 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:36,039 Speaker 1: than the previous year. And so we know that the 91 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 1: impact of the pandemic as well as racial unrest has 92 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: impacted individuals. And on top of that, we know for 93 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: the black community, one of the challenges are concerned and 94 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: you know this as well, is that we oftentimes don't 95 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 1: want to seek therapy for a number of reasons. And 96 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: one thing that adds to that is in the pandemic, 97 00:05:56,320 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: people may now want more preferences to work with someone 98 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 1: on that looks like them or that's from their community, 99 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: and so that adds another challenge to that. And so 100 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: those are some areas that I'm hoping to look at 101 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 1: in terms of how does sort of racial increases of 102 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,679 Speaker 1: injustice and communities then shift preferences for working with different 103 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,280 Speaker 1: types of providers. Oh, that is going to be such 104 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: needed work and I would love for you to talk 105 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: just a little bit about how you think our kids 106 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: are doing right. So, you know, we know that we, 107 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: even as adults, are struggling with isolation and loneliness and 108 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: being disconnected from our support system in a lot of ways, 109 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: and I think that that's magnified for our kids. So 110 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,039 Speaker 1: can you talk a little bit about how are the 111 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: things that you're seeing relationship kids as it relates to 112 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: isolation and some signs that we might look out for 113 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: for the kids in our life, about whether they might 114 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: be struggling with like something like depression or anxiety. Yeah, 115 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 1: those are really great questions. And you know, I'm not 116 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,479 Speaker 1: seeing clients right now, but from what I hear from 117 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: a lot of my colleagues that are they have been 118 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 1: inundated with requests for services, and I'm sure you've probably 119 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: experienced the same thing. But just looking at some of 120 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: the data CDC or Sentenced for Disease Control as well 121 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: as Mental Health America and the American Psychological Association, you 122 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: know a lot of organizations are trying to examine this 123 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: right now, and what they found, specifically related to kids 124 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: is that kids are reported a lot of concerns over 125 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: the last year, So the stress of school. So think 126 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: about schooling at home where you're stuck in the house. 127 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: You may be dealing with siblings, but you can't you know, 128 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: do all the things that you used to do for fun. 129 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: But then these expectations about sort of maintaining yourself in 130 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: that space for an extended period of time. Whereas in 131 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: school they can go out and maybe have recess, they 132 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 1: can get breaks, they can move around the classroom, but 133 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: when you're stuck at a computer for a significant amount 134 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: of time, that's really difficult. We also know that for kids, 135 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: specifically those that identified within the l g B t 136 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: Q plus community, that those youths are also experiencing increased 137 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: difficulties related to isolation, even dealing with coping, just sort 138 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: of not having safety at home for a lot of 139 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 1: those kids, and so increases from concerns about suicidal thoughts 140 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: and depression within that particular unpopulation. And so those are 141 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: a lot of challenges that we are seeing related to 142 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: difficulties that kids are dealing within. Obviously, parents or the 143 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: first resource oftentimes to make sure that a child gets help, 144 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: and they do need to know what are the size 145 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: that their kid is struggling and so I think some 146 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: of the things that are oftentimes talk about with parents 147 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: is really trying to notice these specific changes in mood 148 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: or behavior. And so if you notice that your kid 149 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: is usually even tempered, but now they may be more 150 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: frustrated or sort of on the edge all the time 151 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,439 Speaker 1: or irritated, that may be a concern that something that's 152 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: going on it and now you need to seek out 153 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: a therapist. We also know that difficulties with with sleep 154 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,319 Speaker 1: or a major concern. And so are they having problems 155 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,319 Speaker 1: with you know, sleep on set or falling asleep at 156 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: night because maybe they're working and stressed out and so 157 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,839 Speaker 1: their mind is constantly going are they waking up in 158 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: the middle of the night or not sleeping enough. Those 159 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: are gonna be some additional things that might sort of 160 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: warrant parents to be like, Okay, I need to go 161 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 1: see what's going on with my child and get them 162 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: some support. Yeah. You know, this brings me to another 163 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,839 Speaker 1: question from what you're saying, Dr Earl, is what level 164 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,439 Speaker 1: of awareness can we expect young children to have, maybe 165 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 1: versus older children, Like I have a four year old 166 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 1: and I am sometimes shocked by the things that he 167 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 1: will say, like related to the coronavirus, and we largely 168 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: like try to keep him away from like the news 169 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,679 Speaker 1: and stuff like that. But I'm still shocked by the 170 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,680 Speaker 1: level of awareness that he sometimes has. So can you 171 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: talk a little bit about that, like what kinds of 172 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 1: things he is maybe experiencing or even aware of related 173 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,679 Speaker 1: to everything that's going on. Yeah, that's a great question. 174 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: I think. You know, kids, regardless of if they or 175 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 1: a young child or if they're a teenager, they tend 176 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 1: to be very aware of what's going on. And one 177 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: thing that I oftentimes talk about with parents is that 178 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: they may not communicate that awareness to you, but they 179 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: observe things in their environment. They may not be watching 180 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 1: the news with you and hearing about some of these 181 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: things that are going on, but they realize when they 182 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 1: can't go out as much, and they can't go, you know, 183 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: see Grandma, Grandpa, and they can't spend time with their 184 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 1: friends and go to sleepovers, and so they're like, hey, before, 185 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: what's going on? Right? And so they will begin to 186 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: navigate those spaces in ways that they can't either by 187 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 1: acting out or exhibiting things in terms of anxiety or 188 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: or sadness that I sort of mentioned before. But kids 189 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 1: tend to be very aware, and so one thing that 190 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 1: I think is really important is that you do like 191 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: a check in with your child and before you even 192 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: jump into an explanation about, you know, talking about let's 193 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: say the pandemic and what we're dealing with, is just say, hey, 194 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: how are you feeling what's going on and out of 195 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: your head and give them that chance to really communicate 196 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 1: that to you from their own developmental perspective as opposed 197 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: to us as an adult or parent trying to say, 198 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,680 Speaker 1: how do I help my child make sense of what's 199 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 1: going on and how things have changed since they were 200 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: you know, a year or two years ago. Yeah, that 201 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: definitely feels like it is important. You know, we often 202 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 1: hear right about letting the child lead because a lot 203 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 1: of times, like you mentioned, they do know a whole 204 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: lot more give them credit for us. So really just 205 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: allowing them the space to kind of talk about what 206 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: they know before you even share what you're wanting to 207 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: talk with them about. Yeah. Yeah, so you know, we 208 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: are fresh into February, but January was a doozy, right, 209 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 1: so you probably have seen like the means and stuff 210 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: about the four Wednesdays in February. So we went from 211 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 1: an insurrection to an impeachment to the inauguration and then 212 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: the Wall Street issue, right, And so it feels like, 213 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,839 Speaker 1: even as an adult, it is really hard to kind 214 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 1: of wrap your mind around like the rapidness us with 215 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: which the news changes. And so I'd love to hear 216 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: just about like how much we should be sharing with 217 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,679 Speaker 1: our kids. You know, some older kids, I think even 218 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: though younger kids like you alluded to, can still be aware, 219 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,960 Speaker 1: but you know, some older kids, you know, like have 220 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: their own mobile devices, and so they are kind of 221 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:20,160 Speaker 1: like keeping abreast of like what's happening in the news 222 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: for themselves. So how do you talk with the kids 223 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 1: about like these rapid cycles in the news. Yeah, you 224 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: touched on so many important points. One of those, I 225 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: think kids have access to these devices, and so they 226 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,319 Speaker 1: may be on social media and reading or seeing this 227 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: information and you don't even know it. I wouldn't even 228 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: say now. I feel like even some younger kids have devices, 229 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: and so obviously like monitoring access to things. That's really 230 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: important for parents. Because I have a niece who's eight 231 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: years old, and she has a smart phone, and she 232 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: knows some things about you know, like these games on 233 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: on there that I had no idea, you know, how 234 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: detailed and like sophisticated those and there's a kid game, 235 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 1: but it's right, it's very complicated, like, oh, she's teaching 236 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: me about that. And so I think parents really do 237 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: need to have an awareness about what apps their child 238 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: having the phone and and sort of you know, monitoring 239 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: their use of it from that perspective, but also just 240 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 1: sort of being able to when you have a child 241 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 1: in the home, is being mindful about how much exposure 242 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: to this news that they do get, because if you 243 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: know your parents who let's say, as your child sitting 244 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,559 Speaker 1: with you watching the news every day, are occasionally that 245 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: some of that news may be really difficult for them 246 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: to process. And so are you taking time to like 247 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 1: reflect after those situations with your child to really get 248 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 1: a sense about how they understand and make sense of 249 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: the world and what's going on, or do you just 250 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: you know, turn the television off and it's tough for 251 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,200 Speaker 1: dinner or forbid, and so now they have all of 252 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 1: these stuff, you know, going on inside of their head. 253 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:55,520 Speaker 1: And so I always recommend that parents are really intentional 254 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 1: about the amount of exposure that they give that child, 255 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 1: you know, to the news are these types of events, 256 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: so limiting the amount of television um that they watch 257 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 1: and getting exposure to those things, or even if you're 258 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 1: engaging in a piece of protests or rallies that use 259 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:14,959 Speaker 1: sort of or prepared to talk with your child about 260 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: those experiences and have them have a sense about what 261 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: the importance of engaging in this action is to even 262 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: changing you know, some of the injustice that is occurrent, 263 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 1: so that they're just not going to these events and 264 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 1: potentially getting exposed to like witnessing, you know, more traumatic 265 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: things that might be sort of stressful. So I've recalled 266 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 1: several situations where I see in the news, you know, 267 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 1: a child and apparent altogether at these rallies, and all 268 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: of a sudden there's a sort of incident with the 269 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: police officer and the officers like pointing the gun either 270 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 1: at the parent of the child or or someone else, 271 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: And so that can sort of re traumatize kids after 272 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: just witnessing these things, you know, through the media. Yeah, 273 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 1: and you know, I know that I'm sure that you 274 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: have been paying attention to this, you know, given your 275 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: life experience and because of your research interests, we know 276 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 1: how the pandemic and all of the racial unrisk is 277 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: disproportionately impacting black and brown communities, right, and so it 278 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: feels like again as adults, there are these issues that 279 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: we're having to deal with just in terms of you know, 280 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: grief related to lost loved ones related to the pandemic, 281 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: loss of employment. You know, there's all this research coming 282 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 1: out about how many Black women specifically have like left 283 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: the workforce or been unemployed. And so I would love 284 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: to hear just about how you think that, like black 285 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: and brown children are being disproportionately impacted due to everything 286 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 1: that's going on, and where we might go once. You know, 287 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: some schools are already opening up, but maybe more of 288 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 1: them will be opening up, you know, in the fall. 289 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: So I love to kind of hear about how you 290 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 1: think they're being impacted now and what might we expect, 291 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: you know, when schools maybe open again in the fall. 292 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: Ye more from Dr Earle after the break. I think 293 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 1: one of the things that is really important is for 294 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 1: parents to sort of sit with themselves and recognize how 295 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 1: they're doing and how they are coping with everything that's 296 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,680 Speaker 1: going on. And the reason I think that's important is 297 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: because kids are watching and so they're going to see 298 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,320 Speaker 1: how you respond to these incidents. And so I think 299 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:35,520 Speaker 1: this is a really important teaching opportunity to model for 300 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 1: kids how do you navigate these types of experiences. Obviously, 301 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: you know, a pandemic happens, you know, every couple of 302 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 1: years or decades or so, but they're going to be 303 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 1: life experiences that are going to be difficult and they 304 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 1: have to sort of understand how to to cope with 305 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: those things. And so I think sometimes parents want to 306 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 1: shield kids from these experiences and not talk about it 307 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 1: or not allow the child to see how they handle 308 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: things emotionally. And I would say, you know, do it 309 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,920 Speaker 1: in a healthy way that you're demonstrated for the child 310 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,200 Speaker 1: how you respond to those incidents. And so I think 311 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: one of the things that has come up a lot is, 312 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,120 Speaker 1: you know, kids are dealing with similar situations as their 313 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,439 Speaker 1: parents or the fallout of those situations. So as you 314 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: sort of mentioned, if a parent has lost the job 315 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 1: and maybe sort of dealing with that. Obviously, it can 316 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,480 Speaker 1: go many ways in terms of it provides opportunities for 317 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 1: you to be you know, more president and be at 318 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 1: home with their child, but it also may be additional 319 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 1: sources of stress for you in terms of like how 320 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:37,679 Speaker 1: do you financially support the family, and so kids may 321 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: sort of witness some of those changes as well. I 322 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: think the other thing that I sort of touched on 323 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,400 Speaker 1: earlier is about how kids are navigating this home school 324 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,919 Speaker 1: and stuff. For those that are at home, you know, 325 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,919 Speaker 1: over this time or even sort of I know some 326 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 1: schools are split in the time where they like it's 327 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: a tend school and like these cycles or whatever, and 328 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,959 Speaker 1: so I think for those situations, like it can be 329 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 1: really disruptive. Two routines quote unquote, and so what we 330 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: know for about kids is that routines in structure is 331 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 1: really important for them in terms of their overall development. 332 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: And so the pandemic makes it very difficult for us 333 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,440 Speaker 1: to have routines in structure. So even to the point 334 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 1: and you know, for others and things that I've seen 335 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 1: on the media, like people don't get dressed up for 336 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 1: certain things, So like for a kids, you get dressed 337 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 1: from like the waist above, and you know for kids 338 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 1: as well, they may just you know, have their prejama 339 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 1: bottom zone and are joining the zoom class with like 340 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: a T shirt or their uniform shirt on something like that. 341 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,920 Speaker 1: That's a huge routine shift. And so I was reflecting 342 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,880 Speaker 1: on this earlier and just sort of thinking about when 343 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:51,679 Speaker 1: we do go back to whatever this new normal is, 344 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,160 Speaker 1: is how do we sort of help kids but also 345 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,880 Speaker 1: ourselves to be able to shift all of these habits 346 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 1: that we've developed over the last year. And so it 347 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,199 Speaker 1: will take some time for parents if you haven't you know, 348 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 1: kept some sense of like routine of what life was 349 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,640 Speaker 1: like before the pandemic, and obviously you know things are 350 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,199 Speaker 1: have to be changed to some degree, but you have 351 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:18,680 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to readjust you know, once this is 352 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,119 Speaker 1: all over, and so being able to get them in 353 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: the schedule in terms of like waking up in the 354 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: morning and things like that, wants we return back to 355 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 1: those sorts of situations. Thinking about relationships for kids, I 356 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 1: think there has been some research that has really talked 357 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 1: about the importance of connection and for kids, you know, 358 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 1: traditionally they spent a lot of time in the classroom 359 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 1: or in school settings where they're around their peers navigating 360 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,200 Speaker 1: all of these sort of relation on things that are 361 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 1: really important to teach social skills that apply to us 362 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,520 Speaker 1: as adults. And so I think those things are also 363 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: gonna be somewhat challenging for kids, specifically for those kids 364 00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 1: who let's say, maybe shy or maybe anxiou is and 365 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,399 Speaker 1: have difficulties with performing up to others and having conversations 366 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 1: and talking to their peers. Now they may potentially struggle 367 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,400 Speaker 1: more with those concerns once we saw the transition back. 368 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 1: They may need some addition to support or even a 369 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,920 Speaker 1: therapist to be able to work through some of those 370 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 1: social skills challenges and anxiety. Yeah, you know, as I'm 371 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,120 Speaker 1: listening to you, Dr Earl, and even with other conversations 372 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 1: with other gifts, I am just so worried about the 373 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: mental health load, even on the other side of the pandemic, 374 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,120 Speaker 1: even though we don't know when that's gonna be. I mean, 375 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: so we know, you know, systems are really stretched thin now, 376 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,919 Speaker 1: like you already talked about, right, Like people are wanting 377 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 1: to connect with the therapists, and a lot of therapist 378 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 1: case thows are already full, right, and there is going 379 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 1: to be I think and even more even more of 380 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: a need for mental health support to kind of help 381 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 1: with this readjustment, right, Like I even myself feel like 382 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: when am I actually gonna feel like it's okay to 383 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 1: really be back outside, you know. And so you know, 384 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 1: as adults, if we're thinking that, I am sure that 385 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 1: kids will be thinking some of that too. And so 386 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 1: I'm really worried about, like what kinds of mental health 387 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: supports we're going to even have available on the other 388 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: side of this to help both the adults and the 389 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 1: kids to kind of cope with this new normal exactly. 390 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 1: And I think the other piece of it, and you 391 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 1: sort of touched on this briefly earlier about sort of 392 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,439 Speaker 1: the impact of the insurrection at the Capitol, and so 393 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: I'm also curious about how does that, in addition to 394 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:35,400 Speaker 1: these somewhat challenging I'll say, relationships across race that can 395 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 1: be difficult to navigate that even now after what's happened 396 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,919 Speaker 1: with you know, Brianna Taylor and George Floyd this past summer. 397 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,720 Speaker 1: That now that also makes it potentially more difficult for 398 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: kids and in parents obviously to feel comfortable working with 399 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 1: the therapist that is not from their community or that 400 00:21:56,280 --> 00:22:00,879 Speaker 1: does not look like them, because there may be um 401 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 1: awkwardness in terms of that relationship piece and being comfortable 402 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 1: talking about things, and does this therapist who is not 403 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 1: a person of color have a anti racist sort of 404 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: a viewpoint, and it can be able to sort of 405 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: work with them and understand their situations that they're going 406 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,879 Speaker 1: through and how that can be can be and I 407 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:28,159 Speaker 1: stressed that an additional challenge for how they navigate the world. 408 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 1: And if the therapist is not able to have some 409 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:35,240 Speaker 1: recognition about that and be comfortable talking about some of 410 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 1: those racial challenges, then I think that also makes it 411 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 1: difficult for those parents and families to now connect with 412 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: that therapist to be able to do the work that 413 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 1: they need to do to heal mm hmmm, yeah. I mean, 414 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 1: if I'm not mistaken, one of the people who actually 415 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 1: was like arrested after being in the Capitol was a 416 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,919 Speaker 1: school therapist. Yeah, and then people in many different you know, 417 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 1: repass that were involved in that's it's like who can 418 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,919 Speaker 1: you trust exactly? And we already know that there was 419 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 1: such a huge issue in the mental health field already, right, 420 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 1: and so now we have even more evidence of why 421 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 1: it may be difficult to trust some providers absolutely, And 422 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: so I'm hoping that you know, as people had all 423 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: these conversations last year around sort of being anti racist 424 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,679 Speaker 1: and things like that, is that people continue to do 425 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 1: their work and advocate for change. So one of those changes, 426 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: as we've been talking about, is lack of providers, but 427 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 1: also lack of supporting schools related to counseling and therapy 428 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,320 Speaker 1: and even just sort of identification for kids. And so 429 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,680 Speaker 1: are people going to be able to advocate for policy 430 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,679 Speaker 1: changes and communities to make sure that they are putting 431 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 1: money into schools so that they have the resources to 432 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: be able to even screen kids for these mental difficulties, 433 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 1: because sometimes parents may not have the money to be 434 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,879 Speaker 1: able to take their child to go get an assessment 435 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,920 Speaker 1: or to check in with the therapist, and so or 436 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,679 Speaker 1: school is going to add minimum have the resources that 437 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: they need to be able to do school based while 438 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 1: screening to see like what are the risks that we're 439 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,159 Speaker 1: dealing with in terms of these kids, and then can 440 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 1: we get them to support that they need in terms 441 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: of what therapists or some referrals. Right, Right, So I 442 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 1: want to go back to something you mentioned earlier, Dr Earl, 443 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,719 Speaker 1: in terms of like debriefing after maybe you've taken your 444 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,720 Speaker 1: kids to a rally or something, or even debriefing after 445 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,199 Speaker 1: the insurrection, right, Like I definitely had no clue what 446 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: to tell my children about, like what was happening, and 447 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,919 Speaker 1: so I would love to hear, you know, if you 448 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 1: have any thoughts or like resources or things that parents 449 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,439 Speaker 1: could use to have conversations with their kids about like 450 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 1: these things that have happened. You know, that's really important. 451 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 1: And so I've been doing interviews around sort of talking 452 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:49,640 Speaker 1: kids about race, you know, for years, definitely more so 453 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,239 Speaker 1: in the last year, given all of the injustice that 454 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:56,959 Speaker 1: we've experienced it because I think for me, we're always 455 00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: going to be talking about racing some capacity. Unfortunately, because 456 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 1: this country was built on systems of oppression or or 457 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 1: systems that have oppressed, I would say until we are 458 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: able to be in a society where those systems no 459 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 1: longer engage in these oppressive and discriminatory practices, that we're 460 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 1: going to have to have conversations like this. And so 461 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,400 Speaker 1: I think we need to to talk about it. Because 462 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: we haven't talked about it, then that means that we 463 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,200 Speaker 1: keep going through these cycles because people are not wanted 464 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,840 Speaker 1: to have conversations. And so if you can't talk about it, 465 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: how can you move forward and be able to heal 466 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: and develop better policies around preventing some of these continued issues. 467 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 1: So I think that parents should have those conversations with kids. 468 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 1: I think one, as we mentioned before, being able to 469 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 1: start off with the check in, I like parents to 470 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 1: take some of the stress and anxiety off of themselves 471 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,919 Speaker 1: about talking about these things, and so don't feel like 472 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,719 Speaker 1: you have to have the answers to everything. And we know, 473 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 1: like little kids specifically are gonna have a lot the questions, 474 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,320 Speaker 1: and so I think you know, started off with just 475 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 1: checking in, having the child really communicate what they think 476 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 1: about the situation. One that just gives them opportunities to 477 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,679 Speaker 1: work on their own expression of their feelings and emotions. 478 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,399 Speaker 1: But then it also provides an opportunity for you to 479 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 1: really see what understanding does your child have and or 480 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:26,640 Speaker 1: their things or misinformation or myths that you maybe need 481 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: to address with your child around sort of race and 482 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 1: why some of these things you know, are occurrent in society. 483 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 1: On the other piece of it is then that you 484 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: as a parent can be able to sort of shape, 485 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:44,399 Speaker 1: you know, talking about these racial experiences from this racial 486 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 1: socialization sort of perspective that we talk about as you know, 487 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:53,399 Speaker 1: psychologists and researchers about the importance of having conversations with 488 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: kids about race that can be connected to challenges around 489 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: understanding sort experience a sense of racism, but socialization around 490 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: race also focuses in on talking about the positive things, 491 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: and so Black History Month can be one example where 492 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: you are talking about contributions of black people to the society, 493 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 1: and so I think those sort of giving a child 494 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 1: of opportunity to to look at race from this holistic 495 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,880 Speaker 1: perspective where that it's not always about negativity and all 496 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,480 Speaker 1: about you know, being mistreated because of your skin color, 497 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,359 Speaker 1: but you can have healthy conversation to talk about the 498 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:35,440 Speaker 1: positive benefits being black, for example. And so when incidents 499 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,119 Speaker 1: like the insurrection happen that you don't want to just 500 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 1: sit and talk with your child about all these negative things, 501 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,719 Speaker 1: that's in those difficult conversations with them sort of highlighting 502 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 1: ways to decompress. So maybe as a family, you go 503 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: for a walk, or you watching funny movie, or you 504 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 1: talk about what are the positive good things about being black, 505 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: and those can sort of help balance kids and being 506 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,200 Speaker 1: able to sort of cope with that. And then one 507 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,679 Speaker 1: resource that is out there that are authentised refer parents 508 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 1: too is a PA. The American Psychological Association has a 509 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 1: website around resilience and also talking about race, and so 510 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,159 Speaker 1: if you go to a p A dot org slash 511 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,159 Speaker 1: r e s, you'll go to their resiliency website and 512 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: there are lots of resources there for parents about how 513 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,040 Speaker 1: do you have these conversations around race as well as 514 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: looking at it from developmentally if a child is five 515 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 1: versus if a child is you know, seventeen, how can 516 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 1: you talk about those conversations differently? So there are some 517 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 1: twols there as well. I appreciate that, you know. So 518 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 1: something else that I've heard, Dr Earl is that, yes, 519 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 1: there are of course a new set of stressor is 520 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 1: related to like lots of kids home schooling, But my 521 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,680 Speaker 1: understanding is that lots of kids also feel less stressed 522 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: by not being at school right, so, you know, things 523 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,080 Speaker 1: related to like bullying and school shootings. Like I've read 524 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 1: stories of parents sharing how their kids feel safer at 525 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 1: home right and don't have to worry about maybe something 526 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,640 Speaker 1: happening at school. Cool, And so I'd love to if 527 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 1: you could share kind of any thoughts about, like, you know, 528 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 1: just again when schools maybe open up in the fall, 529 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: how maybe even some of that may be difficult because 530 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,959 Speaker 1: now there will be this reintroduction to a space that 531 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 1: isn't always so safe. I think, you know, one of 532 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 1: the things that's really important is again going back to 533 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: this having these conversations with kids. I think one thing 534 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,120 Speaker 1: that we I think traditionally thought about as kids as 535 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 1: like kids can be kids. They can just sort of 536 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 1: play and they don't get stressed out, and that's not true. 537 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 1: They do get stressed off about a lot of different things. 538 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,640 Speaker 1: And so I think having that talk with kids to 539 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,720 Speaker 1: prepare them to go back again, it's this sort of 540 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: opportunity to engage in this discussion but also give them 541 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 1: some tools that they can use to be able to 542 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 1: make the transition I say, back to school easier for 543 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,680 Speaker 1: those that may you know, have been you know, experiencing 544 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 1: believing or even just have an anxiety about being in 545 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,960 Speaker 1: school or about taking tests and things like that that 546 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 1: you can plan and so having a plan for how 547 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 1: do you deal with these emotions is really helpful. Having 548 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 1: them identified, you know, who is a person at school 549 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,920 Speaker 1: that they can also be comfortable talking with, so they 550 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 1: can be another peer. Maybe that that's a conversation for 551 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 1: them to just have a friend that they can have 552 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 1: a connection with, or it may be a teacher or 553 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: an adult who they can maybe you know, check in 554 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 1: with if they are being bullied or if they are 555 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 1: anxious or worried about things at school, that when those 556 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: feelings start to arise, that they can say, Okay, this 557 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 1: is my chicking person, so I can go talk to 558 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,640 Speaker 1: Mr or Music so and so at school to be 559 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,440 Speaker 1: to help me with the situation. Whether that's now they 560 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 1: can step in to intervene if that situation is occurring, 561 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 1: or sometimes kids just need a safe space to be 562 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 1: able to sit with this person or to talk and 563 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 1: those things make them feel at ease. And so I 564 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 1: think it's about as parents, you know, talking with the 565 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,480 Speaker 1: child about what's going on with them or what things 566 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:06,360 Speaker 1: they may be concerned about related to uncertainty and develop 567 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: a plan that's going to be helpful for them to 568 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 1: make that transition back. And obviously on the other side 569 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: of that can be you know, getting them support through 570 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: a therapist. That might also be helpful to to talk 571 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 1: with them and that's a different relationship that might be 572 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: helpful to give them additional tools as well. If it 573 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 1: is you know at the level um that warrants them 574 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,400 Speaker 1: working with with the professional. We'll be back with more 575 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 1: of this conversation after a quick break. You know something 576 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 1: else dfter, Earl, that I think you alluded to earlier. 577 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,840 Speaker 1: There has also been news just about like suicide rates 578 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 1: again increasing and much younger people, right, And so you know, 579 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 1: I know that that is something that a lot of 580 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 1: parents just have no idea about it. How do I 581 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,120 Speaker 1: you know, if we're are going talking to them about 582 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 1: the news, how would I ever talk to them about suicide? 583 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,360 Speaker 1: So I'd love to hear some thoughts about like how 584 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,040 Speaker 1: to kind of maybe pay attention to that and how 585 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: you might be able to talk with your child about 586 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,560 Speaker 1: like any suicidal thoughts they might have. Yeah, that's a 587 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: really important question. I mean, there's been a lot of 588 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,880 Speaker 1: research that has shown suicide rates increasing, and you that 589 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 1: specifically in black youth, and so I think for a 590 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: long time in the black community, we've sort of had 591 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:35,000 Speaker 1: this viewpoint that suicide doesn't touches us and in terms 592 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,600 Speaker 1: of like we don't engage in those types of behaviors. 593 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: But the other piece of it is that you know, 594 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: people are uncomfortable talking about suicide in general, but also 595 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 1: with kids. Because they feel like, now I am going 596 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:53,040 Speaker 1: to like put things in their head and they what 597 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:57,520 Speaker 1: may what may encourage them, you know, to engage in 598 00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 1: these types of actions. And so I think the first 599 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 1: thing is really for parents just sort of get comfortable 600 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 1: having that conversation. And we know that when you talk 601 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,920 Speaker 1: with kids about these things, it doesn't make them at 602 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,880 Speaker 1: an increase of risk for engaging these behaviors. So just 603 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 1: sort of put that myth aside. And then I think, 604 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 1: you know the other things that are really just sort 605 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:24,040 Speaker 1: of being aware of some of these born in signs 606 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 1: that come up. And so if you witness things with 607 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: your child in terms of changes, let's say, for younger 608 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 1: kids that may engage in drawing or coloring, like if 609 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,080 Speaker 1: you notice that they're drawing things about someone dying, you 610 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 1: know frequently, so things of death commonly come up, and 611 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,800 Speaker 1: kids that may be suicidal, those maybe some things that 612 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: you may be concerned about. If kids verbally express, you know, 613 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 1: that they're going to kill themselves or they want to die, 614 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 1: you know, those maybe additional concerns. And I think if 615 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 1: that does happen, that parents should respond to that with 616 00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 1: don't say that, because then that now makes them feel 617 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 1: even worse about what they may be dealing with. And 618 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 1: so I think it's a matter of if they say that, 619 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:11,440 Speaker 1: then to say, you know, why are they feeling that way? 620 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,239 Speaker 1: So ask that question, and then that gives you more 621 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,279 Speaker 1: information to be able to say, Okay, this is what's 622 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:21,520 Speaker 1: going on in in their life and society that may 623 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,360 Speaker 1: be contributing to these suicide of thoughts. These are also 624 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: red flags to let me know that now I definitely 625 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 1: need to reach out to get some support and seek 626 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,799 Speaker 1: therapy for my child. Other signs that may come up 627 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,760 Speaker 1: for kids, and this can be across the spectrum feeling 628 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,640 Speaker 1: hopeless and so feeling like nothing is never gonna change, 629 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,920 Speaker 1: nothing is ever gonna be better, and they may actually 630 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,200 Speaker 1: say that, And so I think recognizing those types of 631 00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 1: things when they happen to then say okay, we need 632 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,160 Speaker 1: to you know, possibly you know, go seek out my 633 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: therapist if they feel like they are being like a 634 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 1: pain or or you know, making other people feel bad 635 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,319 Speaker 1: or stressed out. So on this this sense of like 636 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,799 Speaker 1: being a burden you know to parents or others, that 637 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,600 Speaker 1: may be a really important sign as well. And honestly, again, 638 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:10,200 Speaker 1: things like you know, sleeping, sleeping too much, feeling tired 639 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 1: or exhausted, or even being irritable and angry all the time. 640 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: Those maybe some addition of important signs related to sort 641 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,160 Speaker 1: of risk around suicide. So something else that we've talked 642 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,279 Speaker 1: about a lot with adults is just the grief you know, 643 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 1: that a lot of us have experienced this year, but 644 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,720 Speaker 1: I think we often missed that kids, of course also 645 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,600 Speaker 1: experienced grief. Can you talk about how that might look 646 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 1: different for kids, and maybe even something around you know, 647 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: like how do we talk to kids about things like 648 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 1: death in the grief that we've had in this past year. Yeah, 649 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,360 Speaker 1: some of those similar things that I sort of mentioned 650 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,120 Speaker 1: with suicidrist can obviously you know, as a psychologist and 651 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,200 Speaker 1: for mental professionals, we know there's a lot of overlap 652 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,680 Speaker 1: in terms of these symptoms for a lot of different 653 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,759 Speaker 1: conditions that may occur. And so if the child is 654 00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,919 Speaker 1: you know, always you know, tired of sleeping too much 655 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:03,120 Speaker 1: in relation to the loss of a loved one, but 656 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,680 Speaker 1: also thinking about and I just had a podcast on 657 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:09,759 Speaker 1: this recently, what or the other losses that they may 658 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,920 Speaker 1: have experience that they can also be grieving. And so 659 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 1: I think that's another dynamic that we don't oftentimes think 660 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,960 Speaker 1: about with kids in in relation to grief, And so 661 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 1: are they grieving the loss of you know, not being 662 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,360 Speaker 1: able to go to parties at school, you know, for holiday, 663 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,719 Speaker 1: So for a lot of young kids. You know, I 664 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 1: remember growing up and we would every holiday we had 665 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 1: a little party in the classroom. Everybody brought some candy 666 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,759 Speaker 1: and things like that. So be even the loss of 667 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,440 Speaker 1: those experiences that they may not be able to have 668 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 1: anymore because of of COVID and the restricts around like 669 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,120 Speaker 1: washing your hands and wearing mask and those types of things. 670 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:46,879 Speaker 1: Be even losses around important milestones for kids that may 671 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,440 Speaker 1: be transition in the middle high school and being able 672 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,480 Speaker 1: to like join clubs or activities like the marching band 673 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:56,239 Speaker 1: or the the dance team. Those maybe changes that may 674 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,200 Speaker 1: be loss even thinking about graduation and transition and you 675 00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,320 Speaker 1: know to college and being on campus. A lot of 676 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,120 Speaker 1: universities are not in person right now, so those may 677 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,680 Speaker 1: be some additional losses that kids may grief as well. 678 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:10,080 Speaker 1: So in terms of just sort of recognizing some of 679 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:14,360 Speaker 1: the differences. Obviously, as I mentioned before, younger kids demonstrate 680 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,920 Speaker 1: a lot of their emotions through their behaviors and so 681 00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,759 Speaker 1: if they are you know, not being feeling like isolating 682 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,000 Speaker 1: themselves from a lot of people, that may be something 683 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,800 Speaker 1: to sort of checking on if they're getting on drawing, 684 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 1: you know, themes about debt related to individuals that may 685 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,360 Speaker 1: be another sign are related to grief. You want to 686 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,000 Speaker 1: be able to to talk about their experience is related 687 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:41,840 Speaker 1: to like funerals. So if someone close to them did pass, 688 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 1: did they have an opportunity to talk about what that 689 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,560 Speaker 1: was like for them? And and one of the things 690 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,440 Speaker 1: that so that we've seen differently now is that not 691 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,719 Speaker 1: as many in person funerals are occurring for a lot 692 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,399 Speaker 1: of individuals, so kids may not have opportunities to get 693 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,399 Speaker 1: some of that closure. And so how do you talk 694 00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,080 Speaker 1: with them about that and really honor the person that 695 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 1: they may loss and start doing activities with them around that, 696 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,399 Speaker 1: you know, maybe keeping a memory box where they write 697 00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:08,000 Speaker 1: down memories of that person and can be able to 698 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,480 Speaker 1: sort of you know, hold onto those things. So I 699 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,360 Speaker 1: think having those types of rituals can be really helpful. 700 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:17,880 Speaker 1: And obviously it's important to consider, you know, again, when 701 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,680 Speaker 1: a therapist might be necessary to do these things. So 702 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,359 Speaker 1: I don't want parents to have that assumption that they 703 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:24,960 Speaker 1: have to do all of these things to have that 704 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,160 Speaker 1: child coke, because now you also may have to take 705 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,280 Speaker 1: on some of those emotional things and obviously be concerned about, 706 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,239 Speaker 1: you know, the well being of your child, and that 707 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,840 Speaker 1: can be difficult for you to even process in addition 708 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:40,160 Speaker 1: to processing everything else. And so you know, being comfortable 709 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:43,600 Speaker 1: to talk with the child or to talk with someone 710 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,600 Speaker 1: so that you don't have all of that responsibility. Going 711 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:48,719 Speaker 1: back to this I did about sort of routines with 712 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 1: kids when there is grief, So how does that change 713 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 1: their routines? They may not want to engage in school 714 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,280 Speaker 1: work anymore. And so if you notice that the child 715 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,759 Speaker 1: grades or declining, that maybe a function of you know, 716 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,680 Speaker 1: they're dealing with grief and so they don't have the 717 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,920 Speaker 1: energy of motivation to do these particular tasks, and so 718 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:08,760 Speaker 1: you want to look at, you know, sort of schooling 719 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:12,080 Speaker 1: changes that may occur in relation to grief as well. 720 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 1: And then some of the things that I've discussed before 721 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,560 Speaker 1: about you know, kids can be really irritable as a 722 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,600 Speaker 1: response to grief, and so feeling mad all the time 723 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,560 Speaker 1: and angry and upset may not always be like there's 724 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,120 Speaker 1: an anger problem with the child, maybe they're dealing with 725 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,520 Speaker 1: grief or even sometimes anxiety comes up as being anger, 726 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,839 Speaker 1: and so I think for parents to recognize that when 727 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:37,440 Speaker 1: the child may be exhibiting some of those types of emotions, 728 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: is that you want to sort of check in to 729 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,200 Speaker 1: see what's underlying that. Yeah, that's really important. Dr Earl, 730 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,080 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for that. You know, so you 731 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,440 Speaker 1: talked about this a little earlier, but we often hear that, 732 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,920 Speaker 1: you know, kids are resilient, right, like they can kind 733 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,520 Speaker 1: of bounce back. But I think we can't just say 734 00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,000 Speaker 1: that without like also giving them some skills and tools 735 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,719 Speaker 1: to be able to bounce back. So you've already talked 736 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,879 Speaker 1: about like going on once with your family or maybe 737 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:05,040 Speaker 1: watching funny movies. Are there other coping things that you 738 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,680 Speaker 1: would offer for kids to be able to help them 739 00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,080 Speaker 1: to deal with like some of the difficult experiences that 740 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,920 Speaker 1: they may be experiencing. Absolutely well, I think you know. 741 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,960 Speaker 1: I'll mentioned another website for parents, the National Child Traumatic 742 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,759 Speaker 1: Stress Network. So if you go to n c t 743 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:24,720 Speaker 1: S in dot org, they have some resources there for parents, 744 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,920 Speaker 1: and like these brief little handouts and tool sheets that 745 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,719 Speaker 1: might be helpful for a number of different things in 746 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,799 Speaker 1: terms of grief for example. So I think some of 747 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,400 Speaker 1: the ways to really sort of cope with these types 748 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,319 Speaker 1: of experiences is we can go into this sort of 749 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,279 Speaker 1: therapy sort of perspective. Again, how about how that might 750 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:45,760 Speaker 1: be helpful, but just sort of helping kids with changing 751 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,640 Speaker 1: the thoughts that they utilize. So what is the child 752 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,640 Speaker 1: telling themselves about this sort of moment and moving forward? 753 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:55,360 Speaker 1: So if they are always negative about this pandemic is 754 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,560 Speaker 1: never gonna end. Or I don't want to go to 755 00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,800 Speaker 1: school virtually because I you know, I'm not going to 756 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:02,759 Speaker 1: be with to learn as much i'm here, or just 757 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,000 Speaker 1: having other thoughts about you know, I hate myself because 758 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,120 Speaker 1: of X y Z that you want to try to 759 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:13,000 Speaker 1: help kids to reframe that. In one way, I think 760 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,320 Speaker 1: to do that is really encouraging them to use positive 761 00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 1: self talking, so you know, having them express things differently 762 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,160 Speaker 1: about the situation. So what is it that you can 763 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,239 Speaker 1: pull from the fact that you you have to you know, 764 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,880 Speaker 1: do do schooling, you know, at home or at the 765 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,400 Speaker 1: computer and saying, you know, I can do my best, 766 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,720 Speaker 1: and so those little things matter. It may not seem 767 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,200 Speaker 1: like it does, but we do know that your thoughts 768 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,840 Speaker 1: have a huge impact in terms of your mood and emotions, 769 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:41,200 Speaker 1: and so those little things can be really helpful for kids, 770 00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:44,640 Speaker 1: I think trying to make sure that they also get 771 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:49,800 Speaker 1: breaks and exercise and so obviously that can look differently 772 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,439 Speaker 1: for kids and families, but I think we know that 773 00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,840 Speaker 1: you know, making sure that if a child is doing 774 00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,960 Speaker 1: schooling and say at home, is that you try to 775 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,560 Speaker 1: give them some breaks. You know, I would say, went 776 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,080 Speaker 1: into thirty minutes of sitting and working, then they might 777 00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:04,920 Speaker 1: want to get up for you know, ten fifteen minutes 778 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,759 Speaker 1: to do something, to move around, and obviously in different situations, 779 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,040 Speaker 1: so I want to you know, acknowledge that that if 780 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,560 Speaker 1: a child is you know, required to sit you know, 781 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,880 Speaker 1: for an extending period of time, then there may be 782 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,239 Speaker 1: limited wish to how to get around that. But if 783 00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 1: they're doing like you know, a synchronous work where they're 784 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,160 Speaker 1: working independently at a computer, you do want to create 785 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,520 Speaker 1: some sort of structure for them to be able to navigate, 786 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,480 Speaker 1: to navigate that so that they can you know, not 787 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,359 Speaker 1: get so overwhelmed and not so to stay seated well 788 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,920 Speaker 1: a really a long time, and then you know, engage 789 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,160 Speaker 1: in some sort of physical activity. I think is another 790 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,920 Speaker 1: strategy that self for stuff. Maybe it's a family thing 791 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,560 Speaker 1: that you do going for walks, or you do some exercising, 792 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,080 Speaker 1: but if not, then try to get the child to 793 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,840 Speaker 1: do something. You know, are their spaces that are safe, 794 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:53,360 Speaker 1: given you know some of the limitations around COVID, that 795 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,759 Speaker 1: they can get some activity, because we also know that 796 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,640 Speaker 1: physical activity also helps with mood regulation and if if 797 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,319 Speaker 1: a person is able to get some physical activity, it 798 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,800 Speaker 1: regulates some of the brain chemistry. Without getting into a 799 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,840 Speaker 1: long conversation about that, but physical activity is really helpful 800 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,440 Speaker 1: with mood regulations, so that that can help to elevate 801 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,680 Speaker 1: mood and prevent kids and maybe get into this on 802 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:19,680 Speaker 1: a deep sadness and possible depression that they may experience 803 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,040 Speaker 1: as it. Well, So those are just a couple of 804 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,920 Speaker 1: things that might be helpful. Thank you so much for that, 805 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,120 Speaker 1: and we will of course include all of that information 806 00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,439 Speaker 1: in the show notes. Well, Dr Earl, can you tell 807 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,000 Speaker 1: us where people can find you? I know you have 808 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,400 Speaker 1: an incredible podcast that you've already mentioned, so can you 809 00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,240 Speaker 1: tell us your website as well as any social media 810 00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:39,680 Speaker 1: handles you'd like to share? Absolutely, So, I again want 811 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,160 Speaker 1: to thank you for having me on to talk about 812 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,920 Speaker 1: this really important topic. But um, you can't connect with 813 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,240 Speaker 1: me on social media at Dr Earl Turner. Can also 814 00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,520 Speaker 1: check out my new platform that I mentioned earlier, Therapy 815 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,719 Speaker 1: for Black Kids. I'm excited about this, you know. I 816 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:59,080 Speaker 1: started Therapy for Black Kids because during the pandemic, and 817 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,319 Speaker 1: some referred to as a double pandemic, we're dealing with 818 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:06,560 Speaker 1: COVID as well as racial injustice, I felt that kids 819 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,720 Speaker 1: were being left out of the conversation, and specifically Black kids, 820 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,759 Speaker 1: and as we know, they may have some challenges in 821 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,360 Speaker 1: terms of getting access to care, and so I wanted 822 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,880 Speaker 1: to create Therapy for Black Kids as an opportunity to 823 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,319 Speaker 1: provide resources to parents so that they can one know 824 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,279 Speaker 1: about some of the things that we'll talk about in 825 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:29,400 Speaker 1: terms of wanting signs related to two stressors and mental health, 826 00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:33,080 Speaker 1: but also to provide you know, resources for families around 827 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:37,400 Speaker 1: healthy development and and focusing in on socialization because we 828 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,959 Speaker 1: know that those are really important to resilience and well being. 829 00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:41,880 Speaker 1: There would be a lot of resources that would be 830 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:45,760 Speaker 1: helpful there in terms of how to help kids navigate 831 00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,359 Speaker 1: these experiences. And you can also check me out on 832 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 1: on Facebook as well at Therapy for black kids perfect well. 833 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:53,960 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for all of this today, Dr Earl. 834 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:59,359 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Thank you again. I'm so glad 835 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,080 Speaker 1: Dr Earl was able to join us for today's conversation. 836 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,680 Speaker 1: To learn more about him and all the incredible resources 837 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,239 Speaker 1: he shared. Be sure to visit the show notes at 838 00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:12,760 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash session and please 839 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,399 Speaker 1: text two sisters right now and tell them to check 840 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,399 Speaker 1: out the episode as well. Don't forget that if you're 841 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,120 Speaker 1: looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to 842 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:24,240 Speaker 1: check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls 843 00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:27,440 Speaker 1: dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue 844 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,400 Speaker 1: digging into this topic, are just be in community with 845 00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,160 Speaker 1: other sisters. Come on over and join us in the 846 00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,720 Speaker 1: Yellow Couch Collective. It's our cozy corner of the Internet 847 00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:40,319 Speaker 1: designed just for black women. You can join us at 848 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,040 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C. 849 00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:45,880 Speaker 1: Thank you all so much for joining me again this week. 850 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 1: I look forward to continue in this conversation with you 851 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,080 Speaker 1: all real soon. Take get care