Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come
Speaker 1: to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own
Speaker 1: presences presence enough. I already had too much stuff, So
Speaker 1: how did you dare to surbey me?
Speaker 2: Welcome to? I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. We're
Speaker 2: in the backyard. It's at least ninety four degrees perfect
Speaker 2: podcasting temperature. It's you know, in the next hour and
Speaker 2: a half, we're going to be feeling very breezy, very relaxed.
Speaker 2: Over the weekend, I stopped feeling like I existed, and
Speaker 2: so I decided I would take back my life by
Speaker 2: making a decision, and that was to make slaw. I
Speaker 2: made him probably enough slaw for an entire Mormon congregation.
Speaker 2: It's just sitting in my fridge rotting. Oh, let's get
Speaker 2: into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's Jordan Morris.
Speaker 2: Jordan's thank you, thank you. Oh my gosh, welcome to.
Speaker 2: I said, no gifts.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I can't. I'm so happy to be
Speaker 3: here as a listener. Fun to see the musings done. Irl,
Speaker 3: it's very impressive. You you actually gaze off so as
Speaker 3: to you.
Speaker 2: Know, get in the right headspace, just admiring whatever's happening,
Speaker 2: just trying to lose myself in nature.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's so important being present. I've been told
Speaker 3: getting getting off of our little devices, to be off
Speaker 3: a device.
Speaker 2: I want to hear more about the slaw. I love slatla.
Speaker 2: I love slaw. Well, describe your ideal slot to me
Speaker 2: and then I'll reveal my slots. There's so many beautiful
Speaker 2: slaws of all kinds.
Speaker 3: I think a goopy man naisy scooped out of the
Speaker 3: deli counter at the supermarket slaw is delicious. I think
Speaker 3: an artisanal vinegary slaw can be really great to clean crisp.
Speaker 2: I'll take all slaws. You had to pick one slaw, gosh.
Speaker 3: I you know, and I'm and I'm gonna feel like
Speaker 3: a you know, SHEESHI Ivory tower type here, but I
Speaker 3: do think, gun to my head, I am picking the
Speaker 3: vinegar y, higher end, crisp clean slaw.
Speaker 2: This is so good to hear. Yeah, good way to
Speaker 2: start the podcast off. If you had gone Mayo, I
Speaker 2: don't know what would have happened. We don't see eye
Speaker 2: to I'm moving away I love a vinegar sauce. You
Speaker 2: would move to another sit hear me pounding the for
Speaker 2: sale sign out front, calling my realtor. Uh no, I
Speaker 2: only will eat a vinegar slaw. Okay, I don't. I
Speaker 2: have to imagine I've had a mayonnaise slaw in the past, Yeah,
Speaker 2: which must have had a bad impact on me because
Speaker 2: I avoid it at all costs.
Speaker 3: It can be heavy, and it can it can go
Speaker 3: from delicious to foul pretty easily if not stored at
Speaker 3: the temperature.
Speaker 2: So I understand, even if stored at the correct temperature,
Speaker 2: it's just too much. It's too much. I mean. I
Speaker 2: saw a friend Saturday night and I mentioned to her
Speaker 2: that I had made a slawn. She said, did you
Speaker 2: kind of with this look of horror with mayonnaise? And
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe she even for a moment thought I
Speaker 2: would make a mayonnaise slaw. I think the tides have turned.
Speaker 2: I think most people prefer you know, where you you
Speaker 2: can see the cabbage, right where it's not you want
Speaker 2: to appreciate the ca just a mayonnaise delivery device, right.
Speaker 2: I don't need mayonnaise to be delivered in any scenario.
Speaker 2: Oh so you know not on a sandwich, not on
Speaker 2: a burger. On a sandwich, I'll like if it's easy
Speaker 2: and I didn't have any other choice, of course, I'll
Speaker 2: eat it, okay. Otherwise, you know, there are other condiments
Speaker 2: that I would prefer. You're right about that. There's a
Speaker 2: lot of great condiments. We've got all kinds of runny,
Speaker 2: wet things we can put on sandwiches.
Speaker 3: Yes, there's a lot of ways to get a sandwich wet.
Speaker 3: It's not just mayonnaise.
Speaker 2: But to answer your question, the it's a cabbage, vinegar, limes, cilantro, jalapeno,
Speaker 2: and almond. Sounds fucking fantastic refreshing.
Speaker 3: Do Is that just a sided on itself or is
Speaker 3: it like on top of something in a side?
Speaker 2: I mean, just sitting in my fridge, just ready to
Speaker 2: be eaten, the only kind of food in my fridge currently.
Speaker 2: It's a real psycho situation. And now I'm going out
Speaker 2: oftown tomorrow and I have truly enough for huge picnic.
Speaker 2: So I'm not sure what to do with the slaw
Speaker 2: at this point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I guess you could just like drift
Speaker 3: around Griffith Park and look for a family having a
Speaker 3: barbecue or a family reunion and just like either like, hey,
Speaker 3: you guys, look like you're having fun, or just set
Speaker 3: it on the table and and.
Speaker 2: Walk off into the sunset, just drifting from a picnic
Speaker 2: blanket to picnic blanket. Can I that's not a bad idea.
Speaker 2: The slaw phantom was here. I guess it'll kind of
Speaker 2: pickle and then become like a kimchi or a what's
Speaker 2: the German oh, sour kraw? Yeah sure, I guess that's
Speaker 2: just kind of an old slaw ferment. Yeah, which I'm
Speaker 2: willing to experiment with.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, I mean, maybe you come back to
Speaker 3: this fermented slaw. You have some you get a little
Speaker 3: buzz from it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah. It's a good die of alcohol poisoning.
Speaker 2: What a way to go, killed by his own slaw.
Speaker 2: Have you ever made a slaw? Oh? Have I made
Speaker 2: a slaw? No?
Speaker 3: I have never, Like from scratch, I've like done a bag,
Speaker 3: you know, kind of a pre mixed But I should
Speaker 3: experiment with home slain.
Speaker 2: What am I doing? You've got to get home with
Speaker 2: your cabbage. The one thing I'll tell you is you
Speaker 2: always have more cabbage than you could possibly imagine. Right,
Speaker 2: one head of cabbage is I mean, it's buckets and
Speaker 2: buckets full of slaugh. Sure, and it overshadows all the
Speaker 2: other ingredients. It's hard to get ratios correct. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't do a lot of like you know, entertaining,
Speaker 3: and you know, usually i'm like, you know, cooking for
Speaker 3: myself for one or two other people. So I think
Speaker 3: I like big batches of stuff. I don't make a
Speaker 3: lot just because you're right, it's gonna sit in the fridge, right,
Speaker 3: I'm a good lesson here.
Speaker 2: Sure. Yeah, there was no party planned. There was nothing.
Speaker 2: This was post fourth of July, like it's July fifth.
Speaker 2: Time to make something salad and hot dogs. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: it's a nice little thing to snack on. What are
Speaker 2: you snacking on around the house? Oh, snacking on around
Speaker 2: the house? Love berries?
Speaker 3: So you know, and you know there they're they're a
Speaker 3: little pricey, but I'm worth it.
Speaker 2: So I like to have nice like a plump blueberry. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I like that popcorn. What is it called?
Speaker 3: It has a Buddha on the front, and it might
Speaker 3: be problematic corn.
Speaker 2: It is delicious lesser evil, lesser evil.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's a nice I guess it's a you know,
Speaker 3: advertised as a healthier option for just mindlessly putting something
Speaker 3: in your mouth. I've never heard of this really tasty,
Speaker 3: really delicious. I am a What I'm trying to do
Speaker 3: here is to just to not buy chips.
Speaker 2: Right. I love chips danger, I love ruffles.
Speaker 3: You're give me all the chips, and I think, left
Speaker 3: to my own devices, I would just sit in the
Speaker 3: dark and eat chips and not do anything or to anyone.
Speaker 3: So I'm trying to find kind of a crunchy salty substitute,
Speaker 3: and and those kinds of like popcorn, popcorny air popped right.
Speaker 2: Canola oil? What are the good oils? It's no one,
Speaker 2: no one on earth can give you the correct information
Speaker 2: on what oil is good. What is the avocado cocon nut?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Olive seed help me? Their oils galore.
Speaker 2: I think olive oil is probably the one you can
Speaker 2: count on. Yeah, it seems to be. I could be wrong,
Speaker 2: but I feel like there's new oil danger all the time. Right,
Speaker 2: We've got a nice oils. We got all these milks.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I feel like I'm about to do like a
Speaker 3: tim Alan routine.
Speaker 2: These kids. I mean, when I grew up, it was
Speaker 2: we always only motor oil. That has to be a
Speaker 2: joke in one of his television shows. That's that's been made.
Speaker 3: Yes, there's season six of Last Man Standing has a
Speaker 3: Now Dad, we have to use coconut oil?
Speaker 2: That would use them anyway? O to melon dies in
Speaker 2: the show you ate motor oil. He finally took being
Speaker 2: the Last Man Standing too far?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Yes? And yeah oils? How if we? Oh? Yeah, the popcorn.
Speaker 2: I do love a chip, but I really I can't
Speaker 2: have chips around the house. Yeah, it's hard for me
Speaker 2: to because you know, you just eat, eat, eat, eat eat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I remember my lore correctly. You're also also
Speaker 3: kind of.
Speaker 2: A cookie guy. I love a cookie. Yeah, me too,
Speaker 2: me too? Are you making cookies or buying?
Speaker 3: I usually buy my cookies, but I'll make a cookie
Speaker 3: every now and then, and it's a lot of fun.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a nice healthy mix. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm really susceptible to the like if you're
Speaker 3: getting something delivered on one of the delivery apps, they'll
Speaker 3: ask you if you want to throw in a cookie?
Speaker 2: I usually throw in the why not bring the cookie with? Right?
Speaker 2: There was on the delivery apps. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you ever saw this, but Mariah Carey had cookies on
Speaker 2: the delivery app. Yes I did. I never got one
Speaker 2: of them, did you? You have very fortunate My friend
Speaker 2: ordered a batch with our dinner and possibly the worst,
Speaker 2: I mean, probably top five worst foods I've ever eaten, Really,
Speaker 2: the Mariah Carey cookie. Mariah, you know, maybe she doesn't
Speaker 2: have the baking touch. I'm sure she was heavily involved. Sure,
Speaker 2: I'm sure she's at the ovens doing all of it.
Speaker 2: And they were sub I don't even know if it
Speaker 2: was just barely edible. I don't think I made my
Speaker 2: way through an entire cookie.
Speaker 3: I'd be interested to hear about like one of the
Speaker 3: most successful celebrity foods. There's not many.
Speaker 2: I think maybe the Paul Newman salad dressing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think makes a good Caesar makes a
Speaker 3: great blue cheese Paul Newman rip to a blue cheese king.
Speaker 3: I find that I usually like celebrity boozes. Celebrity boozes
Speaker 3: are usually seeing good.
Speaker 2: I wonder why that is, you know, I here's I think.
Speaker 3: I think I'm stealing this theory from the great Nick
Speaker 3: Wiger of The dough Boys. Of course, we did a
Speaker 3: celebrity booze taste test not too long ago, and I
Speaker 3: think it's it's simply because they're mid shelf. Oh interesting,
Speaker 3: And maybe if you are a well spirit drinker, you're
Speaker 3: just not used to the mid shelf and you're like
Speaker 3: this is pretty good.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, it's it's better than the well.
Speaker 3: So I think that maybe if you were a more
Speaker 3: discerning booze guy, which I am not, you would you know,
Speaker 3: taste the flaws in.
Speaker 2: The Rocks tequila. But does the Rock have one? The
Speaker 2: Rock has a tequila? Yes, yeah, yeah, the Rock. George Clooney,
Speaker 2: who else wins? What?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm Mulholland's spirits. Wow, Yeah, they're pretty good.
Speaker 2: That one. You're almost buying. I mean, like the normal
Speaker 2: consumer is just buying because it's like, well, Goggin's God blessed,
Speaker 2: but I don't think he has the name power to
Speaker 2: be moving right, beloved, beloved that guy from that thing? Wow? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Who else?
Speaker 3: It's like m Emmett Walsh having, you know, having a
Speaker 3: line of face creams. Oh yeah, that guy creating all
Speaker 3: those Coen Brothers movies.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then of course uh uh Coppola Coppola wines. Yes,
Speaker 2: I had a little coopol of wine not too long?
Speaker 2: How was that? It was really tasty? Yeah? And does
Speaker 2: he have any controlling stake in the business now that
Speaker 2: he's made that movie with all the money?
Speaker 3: Oh right, Megaopolis Mega maybe the Yeah, maybe the wine
Speaker 3: is out of his hands. He needed it to fund
Speaker 3: his weird it's steampunk movie that I can't fucking wait
Speaker 3: to see.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so excited. Sounds insane. Mega sounds like a
Speaker 2: level and sonic doesn't it doesn't it?
Speaker 3: That sounds like probably like level three of a song.
Speaker 3: You have to find a giant robot crab at the end.
Speaker 3: There might be a robot crab in this movie.
Speaker 2: From what I understand, Adam Driver plays the crab and
Speaker 2: then the movie, from what I understand, good and everything.
Speaker 2: They're going to have a live actor in every audience.
Speaker 2: Have you heard this? I maybe have heard this, hinted
Speaker 2: at Is that true? I've you know, I heard it,
Speaker 2: and so I looked it up over and over trying
Speaker 2: to confirm. And it seems like they're going through with
Speaker 2: the plan. I can't wait. Yes, do it? Where are
Speaker 2: they going to find these people? They mustn't. There's probably
Speaker 2: a plan for like five screenings total.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm sure this will be a limited release. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean, I would love it if you ordered it
Speaker 3: on demand. They sent somebody to your house. It's like
Speaker 3: a improv guy shows up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what it is. I guess he
Speaker 2: interacts with the screen or something. Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 2: guess you know, New York and LA.
Speaker 3: Probably pretty easy to find, you know, to hire these
Speaker 3: people to come in, right, maybe even get a name for.
Speaker 2: A couple of screens to show up. Oh m yeah,
Speaker 2: drunk on his own whiskey. Yeah, just you have a
Speaker 2: belly full of Mulhoan spirits.
Speaker 3: But yeah, you're, you know, screenings where there's not a
Speaker 3: thriving entertainment industry.
Speaker 2: I guess you're going to the community theaters, right, you're
Speaker 2: asking the kid behind the counter, Oh, can you just
Speaker 2: take a minute to yell at the screen for us?
Speaker 3: Does the popcorn kid have to put on a top
Speaker 3: hat and goggles and.
Speaker 2: Be an airship captain or something? Yeah? I know that
Speaker 2: about the movie. I know the Aubrey Plaza play someone
Speaker 2: named like Platinum Seed or something. I don't know. It's bizarre.
Speaker 2: I can't wait. And then I think Adam Driver controls time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he does have a weirdo name too. It's
Speaker 3: like Ultimate Futureman or something like that.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, I'm really looking forward to I'm My fear though,
Speaker 2: is that it's going to be boring. Yeah, I know, ultimately,
Speaker 2: like where you think, oh, this is gonna be a
Speaker 2: real fun time at an insane movie and then it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is four hours long and INCOMPREHENSI I'm sure. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I'll go and see if somebody interrupts the I
Speaker 2: mean they're kind of opening the door to anyone in
Speaker 2: the audience getting up and yelling.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, I guess so if you are, Yeah, if
Speaker 3: you are just like a psycho or someone who wants
Speaker 3: to like go viral or something, right, you stand up
Speaker 3: and just do your Megapolis.
Speaker 2: Right, make your little announcements. Yeah. Interesting, Now I'm getting
Speaker 2: some ideas. Some things are cooking in my head. This
Speaker 2: could be my big moment at the just I have
Speaker 2: a podcast. Yeah that's uh so that wine business, I
Speaker 2: believe he sold almost all of his shares and oh
Speaker 2: yeah the wine was tasty. I mean again, I'm not
Speaker 2: a wine guy.
Speaker 3: I am kind of just used to, you know, having
Speaker 3: having the house red right whatever, Chicken palm.
Speaker 2: But I I liked my I feel like there's a difference. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think so. I do think so.
Speaker 3: I do think that that for whatever reason, I have
Speaker 3: not had that Mariah Carey cookie experience with a celebrity.
Speaker 2: Boost, Like what the fuck is this? Like I'm like, hey,
Speaker 2: this is good. More celebrities need to get into the
Speaker 2: their hands at cookies. I'd like to see other celebrities
Speaker 2: try a cookie. Who would be the ultimate cookie celebrity.
Speaker 2: He's Witherspoon. It probably Oh my god, job, that's such
Speaker 2: a good idea. Yeah, I feel like she has like
Speaker 2: just the level of taste and populist feel right, she'd
Speaker 2: be able to make a cookie that's a crowd pleaser
Speaker 2: and as well made. Sure, because like if you'd ask
Speaker 2: a Gwyneth.
Speaker 3: Paltrow or it's gonna be garbage. Yeah, sure, it's gonna
Speaker 3: be made with sand or something tastes like a pussy.
Speaker 3: I don't know what is Gwyneth Paltrow cooking up over
Speaker 3: there these days? Maybe both, Yes, sure, day at the beach. Yes,
Speaker 3: she should.
Speaker 2: Not be trusted with a dessert. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: but Reese, I think we should do a nice job. Wow,
Speaker 2: I mean Reese probably has something in the works already.
Speaker 2: I feel like she has a team of people that
Speaker 2: she's like, what am I doing? Now? We got the
Speaker 2: book The Book Club? Yeah, because initially it was like
Speaker 2: Reese Witherspoon is recommending books, This is ridiculous. And now
Speaker 2: she's she like owns the publishing industry. Yeah, yeah, I know, fascinating.
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess I would. I'm very quick to
Speaker 3: buy her cookies that don't exist. So maybe I should
Speaker 3: just start with the books that she already had.
Speaker 2: I guess is she reading all of the books? That's
Speaker 2: the big question. Wonder. I can't be reading all of them.
Speaker 3: Maybe she has them summarized to her by a nice
Speaker 3: you know, assistant or something like a team.
Speaker 2: Of great readers. Right, I would like to think that
Speaker 2: she's going through all these books, but she's got other
Speaker 2: things going on. She's sure. I can't name any of them.
Speaker 2: But no, I guess I have not seen Reese Rutherspoon
Speaker 2: on screen, and I guess she's in The Morning Show.
Speaker 2: Oh right, the Morning Show.
Speaker 3: Yes, I watched a bit of that and then stopped
Speaker 3: watching it, then didn't watch any more of it.
Speaker 2: I have seen the scene where Steve Carell drives off
Speaker 2: a cliff.
Speaker 3: Right, Yes, he was like written off in a very
Speaker 3: insane way, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a very old fashioned like, well, you don't
Speaker 2: want to be part of this, We're gonna drive you
Speaker 2: off a cliff.
Speaker 3: Here's maybe when I stopped watching, if I could pinpoint,
Speaker 3: it is sometime in the first season, and you know
Speaker 3: the Reese Witherspoon is like a firebrand character.
Speaker 2: Right, named like Devon or Sure Chris some something like that.
Speaker 2: Brian is it Brian.
Speaker 3: Bradley, brad Bradley, good old Bradley, Bryan Bradley, And she
Speaker 3: like makes a impassioned speech at like a union rally,
Speaker 3: and it goes viral. And I'm like, when does something
Speaker 3: like that go viral? It's people fighting in a waffle
Speaker 3: house parking lot. That's what goes viral. The worst of
Speaker 3: speech at a union meeting. When was the last fucking
Speaker 3: time that happens?
Speaker 2: There would have to be three videos total available for
Speaker 2: that to go viral. Yes, right, anytime in a TV
Speaker 2: show something goes viral, I'm out. I'm like, this is stupid,
Speaker 2: don't want to use it to make it current?
Speaker 3: And I guess you got to move the plot somehow,
Speaker 3: and it's easy. But I'm just like, well, that's the
Speaker 3: exact problem. I mean, it's just an easy sure, And
Speaker 3: then they go viral.
Speaker 2: They go viral, and it's never something that would go viral.
Speaker 2: If they go viral, issould just ruin the character's life.
Speaker 2: That should be the only thing that should happen in
Speaker 2: a TV show, right, It shouldn't lead to ear things.
Speaker 2: This should just completely yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: And then they have to like, you know, appear on
Speaker 3: stage at Comic Con as a joke and then like
Speaker 3: just to get a little bit of ironic applause, and
Speaker 3: like that's their life now.
Speaker 2: It's a very have you ever read Nightmare Alley?
Speaker 3: Oh, the basis of the the No, I've seen the movie,
Speaker 3: but I well, you know how the movie ends.
Speaker 2: That's a very Nightmare Alley type where you're like eating chicken,
Speaker 2: live chickens to make people happy. Wow, how did we
Speaker 2: get there? It's always withspoon, always leads to eating live birds. Uh, well,
Speaker 2: I think there's something else we should talk about that
Speaker 2: I would I don't know that I'd love to talk
Speaker 2: about it, but I would like to just approach it.
Speaker 2: I was excited to have you here on the podcast today.
Speaker 2: I was excited to be asked. Naturally, I thought, Jordan's
Speaker 2: so wonderful, sweet, funny, what could possibly go wrong? So
Speaker 2: it was a little surprised. Why you know, there was
Speaker 2: a knock at the door, and I kind of skimpered over, skimpered, scampered.
Speaker 2: Skimpring's an interesting thing to do as well. I scampered
Speaker 2: over a.
Speaker 3: Slightly slower scamper. I did scamper. I skimpered.
Speaker 2: Opened the door, and almost immediately you said I think
Speaker 2: the first words you said were my gift is a disaster. Yeah, no, hello, nothing.
Speaker 2: So you were owning the fact that you brought a
Speaker 2: gift to I said, no gift, which I wasn't supposed
Speaker 2: to do. We're not supposed to do. I was explicitly
Speaker 2: told not to do. We all begged you not to begged.
Speaker 2: Absolutely you did. The producing team did. Analie was on
Speaker 2: the phone multiple times. Karen Kilgarriff called personally and said, Jordan,
Speaker 2: please do this. Our network depends on it. Uh, and
Speaker 2: so you know, you know, but fortunately it seems like
Speaker 2: it blew up in your face almost immediately. It did. Yes,
Speaker 2: So I mean I've I disobeyed you explicitly okay, and
Speaker 2: was yeah and rightfully hoisted by my own petard. So uh,
Speaker 2: what I.
Speaker 3: What I wanted to do in my head was to
Speaker 3: bring you a gift because you're such a gracious host
Speaker 3: and my mother raised me right and no matter how
Speaker 3: many now, I gonna thank you mother. Yes, it's all
Speaker 3: the moms out there, you know. And I and despite
Speaker 3: the fact I was told not to, I wanted to
Speaker 3: thank you for having me. This is so wonderful to
Speaker 3: be here, and you know we're recording this in the summertime.
Speaker 3: I kind of thought I would I would put together
Speaker 3: a fun chillen pool side package. I don't know how
Speaker 3: much chillen pool side you're going to do this summer,
Speaker 3: but I assumed.
Speaker 2: Lots and hopefully more now with whatever you've brought.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so like, yeah, if you weren't already planning
Speaker 3: on it, you know, I wanted to like coaxhoot a
Speaker 3: chill pool side because it's such a wonderful.
Speaker 2: Trying to draw me close to a body of water.
Speaker 3: Right, notrefarious, but just for your enjoyment, because you work.
Speaker 2: Hard and I want you to relax. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: The part of it that I think went right as
Speaker 3: I've included a couple of books great for reading by
Speaker 3: the pool. One is a collection of short stories from
Speaker 3: a great bookshop I love.
Speaker 2: Called want to open it yet it's the actually the case.
Speaker 2: So we're starting with the things on track. This went fine? Okay,
Speaker 2: so okay.
Speaker 3: Oh, so you've got a collection of short stories by
Speaker 3: Octavia Butler one of my shoes.
Speaker 2: Incredible. I've only read one book, sow.
Speaker 3: The I almost got that. I didn't because you've read it.
Speaker 2: Although it's good to reread a book, it's sometimes it's
Speaker 2: very important to you're at a different point in your life.
Speaker 3: Maybe you get something different from I had not a
Speaker 3: great indie book story in my neighborhood called Octavia's Bookshelf,
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, which I really love. If you ever in Pasadena,
Speaker 3: check them out and you can shop online there. They
Speaker 3: have a wonderful curated section of books.
Speaker 2: Where's that in Pasadena? It is? I think over there
Speaker 2: on hill By. If you ever get coffee at Lavender
Speaker 2: and Honey, oh that sounds nice. It is nice.
Speaker 3: So that's a nice day, right there, grab your coffee, right,
Speaker 3: I need to go over to Octavia's.
Speaker 2: Does Octavia's bookshelf have any connection to Octavia Butler. It does.
Speaker 3: I think the owner is like a giant fan, and
Speaker 3: I think Octavia Butler is or is or was, I
Speaker 3: don't know if she's alive, still is or was a
Speaker 3: Pasadena residence. Oh so there's a connection there.
Speaker 2: Okay, wonderful. I have never heard of this. I need
Speaker 2: to go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's great. And if if you're at It's
Speaker 3: you're now in Pasadena, you can shop there online. They're
Speaker 3: a great store to support.
Speaker 2: But speak more to this book. So I actually haven't
Speaker 2: read it.
Speaker 3: I was about to grab parable they were out, so
Speaker 3: I'm like, well this I love a short story collection.
Speaker 2: So nice. Maybe I'll see if Bridger enjoys this, and
Speaker 2: if he does, maybe I'll call you and ask you
Speaker 2: to buy it from Yeah, Jordan, I simply can't buy
Speaker 2: myself a book. Sure, So that's that.
Speaker 3: And then also in there you have a you have
Speaker 3: a copy of my new graphic novel youth group of course,
Speaker 3: artist Bowen mcgirty. It's a ya horror comedy youth group.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if you're a comic sky
Speaker 2: or a graphic no casual, very casual. Yes, But when
Speaker 2: I enjoy them. I really enjoyed them. Yeah, I have
Speaker 2: one sitting on my night stand. That's about It has
Speaker 2: something to do with PTSD. Okay, what is it? Oh gosh, man,
Speaker 2: it's oh god, I wish I could remember. It's so great.
Speaker 2: I might have to go get it to recommend it
Speaker 2: to people. But it's a yeah. When you read them there,
Speaker 2: it's just such a lovely experience. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a big comics guy, and I think our
Speaker 3: book will appeal to comics folks, but also to the
Speaker 3: occasional comics reader. You don't need any previous knowledge. It's
Speaker 3: a self contained story.
Speaker 2: And does this have anything to do with like a
Speaker 2: church youth group? It does.
Speaker 3: It is about a bunch of teenagers who are in
Speaker 3: a goofy Bible study group. I was in one as
Speaker 3: a child. You sing the parody songs. The youth pastor
Speaker 3: sits backwards on the chair. He's got some tattoo sleeves.
Speaker 2: What church was this affiliated with?
Speaker 3: This was a like evangelical okay, wow, and so yeah
Speaker 3: are And it was in southern California, so like sure
Speaker 3: had a surfboard in.
Speaker 2: This truck, and he wore flip flops and you know,
Speaker 2: kind of cover up any sort of horrible yeah, biggest opinions, right, yes,
Speaker 2: any horrible beliefs. You're like, ah, this guy he likes
Speaker 2: to kill a gay person.
Speaker 3: Sure, yes, So these are these are some kids who
Speaker 3: are in a goofy Bible study group and they have
Speaker 3: to do exorcisms. So it's a little horror comedy. Oh,
Speaker 3: kind of set in that weirdo little world.
Speaker 2: That's fantastic. So it's a little bit of I mean
Speaker 2: The Exorcist, it's a little bit of uh maybe Scott Pilgrim.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Scott Pilgrim is actually a good a good analogy.
Speaker 3: It's kind of a yeah, it's kind of you know,
Speaker 3: coming of age stuff, but also some genre stuff. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I think if you're a Scott Pilgrim fan, I think
Speaker 3: if you know Seanathan Dead a good.
Speaker 2: Oh it's a good parallel. Is this your uh is
Speaker 2: this your first graphic novel, second graphic novel?
Speaker 3: So yeah, my first ya graphic novel, and I'll shut
Speaker 3: out the artist Bowen mcgurty is a great, beautiful art.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the artist gorgeous. They have a great series.
Speaker 3: Called Specter Inspectors that they do another fun YA horror
Speaker 3: comedy thing, and I was very lucky to work with them.
Speaker 2: Oh that's really terrific. Have you ever written any uh, like,
Speaker 2: what is a graphic novel that's essentially a comic book? Sure?
Speaker 3: Yeah maybe maybe In the biz they call them floppies.
Speaker 2: Floppies comics are the floppies floppies.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I have written some stories for Archie. Oh okay,
Speaker 3: Archie Comics. They do a line called Chilling Adventures where
Speaker 3: it's the Archie Gang in horror scenarios. Oh so, I
Speaker 3: don't know what it is.
Speaker 2: People love seeing those little fuckers get killed, just so. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they like to see them in any type of thing. Yeah, sure,
Speaker 2: like Riverdale is like what Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's like now they fight a cult and now they
Speaker 3: have superpowers.
Speaker 2: Why are people so hooked on those characters?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean they've endured. I guess it's just a univeral.
Speaker 2: I never knew of anyone that had read one of those.
Speaker 2: Well funny, you know, I grew up with them.
Speaker 3: My mom loved Archie, and I think it's something that like,
Speaker 3: as a kid, they used to sell them in the grocery.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my memory of like, oh, there's a thing
Speaker 2: that looks almost appealing, but I don't want it, right,
Speaker 2: and you would just get it.
Speaker 3: I would get them if I was good in the
Speaker 3: grocery store. Here you go, this is here, this is
Speaker 3: this thing. Cost two bucks here, don't throw a fit.
Speaker 3: So I think just like through being easy to get
Speaker 3: and kind of being cheap, they just kind of like
Speaker 3: wormed their way into a lot of people's homes, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I think they've done a lot of fun, cool
Speaker 3: stuff with Archie over the years and kind of updated
Speaker 3: it and made it a little more modern and relevant
Speaker 3: and not just kind of like goofy one liners. So yeah,
Speaker 3: they were lovely to work with, the Archie folks. But
Speaker 3: that's the only like floppy comic Eve had.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, yeah. The thing in the grocery store
Speaker 2: aisle that I always wanted was those little horoscopes that
Speaker 2: were rolled up like cigarettes.
Speaker 3: As a youth group kid, I bought one of those
Speaker 3: once and brought it to youth group and was was
Speaker 3: taken to task.
Speaker 2: I can only supporting the devil witchcraft. Of course, a
Speaker 2: star reader, how dare you look to the stars for advice?
Speaker 2: It's all right here, I'm pointing at a Bible. I
Speaker 2: should mention in this story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember getting raped over the calls for getting
Speaker 3: one of those little.
Speaker 2: Story Yeah, those like that whole category wigia boards. All
Speaker 2: of that was very within Mormonism, very I remember with
Speaker 2: my fifth grade class in a public school, our teacher
Speaker 2: like turned off the license, like we have to talk
Speaker 2: about something. Starts like telling us we can't use wija boards,
Speaker 2: we can't do like horoscopes or anything. It's all the
Speaker 2: devil's work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wild, Yeah, I know. I still like your battles religion.
Speaker 2: Come on, this is fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're starving people. Jesus is pretty clear about that.
Speaker 3: Do something about that that's in there.
Speaker 2: Let's focus our energies. But yeah, did they do away
Speaker 2: with those little horoscope rolls?
Speaker 3: God, I have not clocked one of those in a while,
Speaker 3: but now I will the next time I'm at the
Speaker 3: old Stater Brothers, I'm gonna look.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it looked just did you unroll them? You unrolled them.
Speaker 2: There was a fun scroll style element to it, so yeah, wow,
Speaker 2: yeah they did it because they looked like a cigarette.
Speaker 2: They did seem kind of out of bounds, off limits, right,
Speaker 2: there's a little bit of a naughty miss to them.
Speaker 3: I guess for me explicitly because I was yelled at
Speaker 3: for having one?
Speaker 2: How did that unfold? You walked in and said, who
Speaker 2: wants their horoscope? Or any geminis in the house? Any
Speaker 2: messy geminis at church today? I forget. I think I
Speaker 2: just had.
Speaker 3: I think I just you know, I would think I'm
Speaker 3: a fidgetter. I was a fidgety kid. I'm still a
Speaker 3: fidgety adult. So I think I always just had little
Speaker 3: things in my pockets that I would have with me
Speaker 3: that I can mess with, and I think those were
Speaker 3: like fun to mess with. So I think I just
Speaker 3: had one and some authority figure clocked me messing with
Speaker 3: it and yelled at me in front of everyone.
Speaker 2: And did that fix the situation or did it make
Speaker 2: you want to do more of that?
Speaker 3: I think at the time, at the time that stuff
Speaker 3: worked on me, I felt bad about it, you know,
Speaker 3: And I think I I did feel like a dipshit
Speaker 3: for looking to the.
Speaker 2: Stars for whatever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I know now that that was shitty for
Speaker 3: that person to do. And again, you shouldn't you know,
Speaker 3: you're trying to impart good values to kids.
Speaker 2: Pick your battles right.
Speaker 3: Well, But anyway, sure, that's a whole other thing. But
Speaker 3: I think at the time I did feel pretty bad
Speaker 3: about that stuff.
Speaker 2: Have you ever used a wigea board? No, I don't
Speaker 2: think I have used a Wigi board. I feel like
Speaker 2: maybe like kind of homemade one I've used. Yeah, never,
Speaker 2: I would love to use an official Milton Bradley me too,
Speaker 2: bought off the toys shelf in the target or whatever.
Speaker 2: That would be fun. I need to call upon some spirits.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, I don't know how I've managed to avoid
Speaker 2: those so long. They do kind of still scare me
Speaker 2: me too.
Speaker 3: Oh, totally. There's a little Wigi board horror series.
Speaker 2: Oh the movies. Yes, yes, I think I've seen helicopter. Helicopter.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a loud baby, very gorgeous tone right over
Speaker 2: the house, so rich? Where are they headed? Okay? Well, uh, yeah,
Speaker 2: there's the Luigi board movies. I believe I've seen one
Speaker 2: or two.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I've seen the first one, and I
Speaker 3: remember it being pretty scary. And yeah, as a kid,
Speaker 3: I think I would have been really scared to use
Speaker 3: one of those, right, the religious gunk of course, but
Speaker 3: then just a there's a general creepiness about them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I generally don't believe in any of that,
Speaker 2: but I'm always like, there's a small chance I call
Speaker 2: upon a demon. If I do that fuck everything up.
Speaker 2: It'd also be very exciting. Again, another reason you might
Speaker 2: have to move someone else has moved in the devil.
Speaker 2: There's fucking demons. So white bread Satan's standing at the
Speaker 2: fridge just eating handfuls of maos. Well, should we get
Speaker 2: into this next bag here? Yeah, so here's the part
Speaker 2: that went raw. Okay, so this is what I want
Speaker 2: to know about.
Speaker 3: You'll notice a half inflated is generous quarter inflated pineapple floaty.
Speaker 3: I thought it'd be fun to bring you a pool toy,
Speaker 3: you know, for chilling by the pool, chilling in the pool,
Speaker 3: I guess, and you know, listen, I'm I'm a creative.
Speaker 3: I know you got to be on social media, that's
Speaker 3: the game. I thought it'd be fun.
Speaker 2: For the photo. Of course, we hold up.
Speaker 3: A giant inflatable pineapple. So a lot of things went
Speaker 3: wrong with this one. Somebody let me know that it
Speaker 3: is a symbol for swingers. Oh that's right, So I've
Speaker 3: inadvertently perhaps made you a target for people in with
Speaker 3: gray ponytails and wolf shirts to show.
Speaker 2: Up assistant managers at PetSmart. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And yet if that's if you're we love it. If
Speaker 3: you're looking for that, great make me your target. You're not,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry and open to the idea. Sure you're hope
Speaker 3: you're not updight right?
Speaker 2: You puts all over my house. So there's that.
Speaker 3: And also I assumed I could blow this up with
Speaker 3: my mouth like you would have died.
Speaker 2: I I got the thing at Target.
Speaker 3: I had a nice lunch at Mendocino Farms, fantastic, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'll blow this up while I'm sitting here
Speaker 3: at Mendo.
Speaker 2: Put a mouthful of sandwich.
Speaker 3: Put a mouthful of sandwich. I could this. There's no
Speaker 3: way you could blow this thing up with a mouth.
Speaker 2: The amount of air that would require you it require
Speaker 2: So I don't know why I thought I could.
Speaker 3: There's a I doesn't say anywhere on the box that
Speaker 3: you can't use your mouth, And so I had a
Speaker 3: little bit money boxes say that more boxes should can't
Speaker 3: use your mouth, don't use your mouth, or go ahead
Speaker 3: and use your mouth.
Speaker 2: That's that would be wonderful to see how a box.
Speaker 3: And so I drove over to the Big Five okay,
Speaker 3: and I got a pump.
Speaker 2: Your life is spinning out of control.
Speaker 3: And this pump worked, but kind of. I was in
Speaker 3: the parking lot of Big Five trying to blow this
Speaker 3: up for a good twenty minutes, and I realized I
Speaker 3: wasn't gonna get it blown up in time for the podcast.
Speaker 2: So any watching this? Just this desperate man in the
Speaker 2: Big five love.
Speaker 3: And I had a real lovely piece of small talk
Speaker 3: with the woman who checked me out at Big Five
Speaker 3: and I'm just buying that and we're waiting for my
Speaker 3: credit card to go through and she just feels like
Speaker 3: she needs to make some small talk.
Speaker 2: So she's like, so you're gonna pump something up? Yeah, No,
Speaker 2: this is for my collection. Don't ask me what it's for.
Speaker 2: I love how these look, right, I'm keeping it in
Speaker 2: the box because I removed it from the box.
Speaker 3: It's not this an investment, yes, thank you, it's like
Speaker 3: a fun code.
Speaker 2: Uh So I got about this full? Okay, pretty full.
Speaker 3: You got the the fronds or the pineapples. Fronds are
Speaker 3: nice and thick, but the rest of the pineapple is droopy.
Speaker 2: And this is someone who's considering swinging. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: When you have the full fronds. It just got to
Speaker 2: mee with their spouse, right, Maybe I will, maybe I'll
Speaker 2: go on. I don't know what I like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're all on a journey. We're all on a journey,
Speaker 3: and we're figuring it out. So I've included the pump.
Speaker 2: Okay, great, So this should we I mean, should we
Speaker 2: pump it up here on the podcast? Don't hear how
Speaker 2: long that would take? Do we have two and a
Speaker 2: half hours? Take that long? I and I'm I don't
Speaker 2: know if he knows how sweaty I am.
Speaker 3: I'm soaked from trying to blow up this thing in
Speaker 3: the Big five parking.
Speaker 2: We should at least get a little bit of the
Speaker 2: noise of it, don't you just do? Yeah, let's get
Speaker 2: a little pumping. Git some pumping noise happening. Okay, Oh,
Speaker 2: this is a This is a gorgeous pump. Thank you,
Speaker 2: thank you. This looks like it. Let's see here.
Speaker 3: It is a let me see the brand. This is
Speaker 3: a high output air pump.
Speaker 2: So this is quick too. But this is not a
Speaker 2: an electric pump. No, this is my god, So this
Speaker 2: is a dangerous I mean wow. Oh, and it's all
Speaker 2: through the top. There's not another one on the trunk,
Speaker 2: not that I can see.
Speaker 3: So there are a couple of different heads you can
Speaker 3: put on the pump, and I think this is.
Speaker 2: The one that fits best in the nozzle. Shortan, I
Speaker 2: feel like there has to be one in the trunk.
Speaker 3: There might be that might be something that I've fucked up.
Speaker 3: Is just relying on this one soul there is.
Speaker 2: This is why you aren't able to do it. Maybe
Speaker 2: this will go quicker. I'm an inflatable expert. Are you
Speaker 2: do you like an inflatable poolside? I guess that was
Speaker 2: so yeah, of course. Okay, here I'm going do you
Speaker 2: mind if I get a video of you doing please?
Speaker 2: This is what people need to see, somebody doing some
Speaker 2: pumping of Oh no, we have a helicopter. This is
Speaker 2: gonna go viral. This is what people love to see online,
Speaker 2: A man's manly pumping a pineapple. Okay, I mean this
Speaker 2: does I do want to try give it a share.
Speaker 2: I want I want to I want to prove how
Speaker 2: maybe you have better body, let's see. Yeah, very simple.
Speaker 3: I was I thought it would be hilarious to bring
Speaker 3: the pineapple. I was so committed to this.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is enough. This is it's too much.
Speaker 2: So this uh, this is such a large object that
Speaker 2: you do you need to lay it, put it a
Speaker 2: sided day to pump it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, maybe a long weekend long get right, because
Speaker 3: it seems like you would want it for a long weekend,
Speaker 3: but it takes a long weekend.
Speaker 2: So it's like you do it on Memorial Day, right,
Speaker 2: and then next Memorial Day nothing to make some progress
Speaker 2: while you guys, let's do I want to see how
Speaker 2: far I can get. Do you want to give it
Speaker 2: a shot? Okay, on a least while we're talking, it's
Speaker 2: going to do physical labor.
Speaker 3: And it could be she has better upper body strength
Speaker 3: than we do and.
Speaker 2: At least kind of do a video of you. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna just see who's best at this. Oh wow, No,
Speaker 2: this is a different holy this is using a different method,
Speaker 2: which is oh so no, it has no this is
Speaker 2: a horrible pump. The pieces come apart pretty easily.
Speaker 3: That was another problem that I had with it, was
Speaker 3: that the pieces kept coming apart.
Speaker 2: This pump is like something that you would have in
Speaker 2: a survival kit, like it's a last option. Just bring
Speaker 2: out the physical pump. We're trying to get off the island.
Speaker 3: And I think there are you know, electric pumps that
Speaker 3: it'll probably you know.
Speaker 2: Right pretty quick to buy an electric pump for just
Speaker 2: who owns just an electric pump? Oh, now the mic
Speaker 2: cord is tangled. This thing is causing all sorts of
Speaker 2: problems for the podcast. And I guess if like.
Speaker 3: You have a lifestyle that requires a lot of inflatables,
Speaker 3: or if you have a lifestyle where you just need
Speaker 3: to display a lot of pineapples to get the right
Speaker 3: people to come to your house, maybe you want to
Speaker 3: invest in that electric Right.
Speaker 2: How do I get to a point when I have
Speaker 2: a lot of inflatable in my life? Great?
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess if you throw Vegas pool parties.
Speaker 3: I own the hard Rock, If you own the hard
Speaker 3: Rock Hotel and you know DJ pauly D is going
Speaker 3: to be there over the weekend, you want to throw
Speaker 3: some inflatables in the pool for his fans to mess around.
Speaker 2: And at least is actually doing kind of a great
Speaker 2: job with this. Yeah, but I mean even though they
Speaker 2: are doing an incredible job, there's it's still taking a
Speaker 2: very long time. Yeah, this is a this is a
Speaker 2: large object on this is estimating five minutes and then
Speaker 2: I'll be lying on it for the rest of the podcast.
Speaker 2: Just kind of how luxurious. Now do you How often
Speaker 2: are you swimming? So I am part of like an
Speaker 2: adult swim team. Oh no, this I like to hear
Speaker 2: about it. So I swim three or four times a week.
Speaker 2: How did you get involved with this? So?
Speaker 3: I swam in high school, okay, and kind of like
Speaker 3: it left my life when I graduated right college, right,
Speaker 3: and then I could feel the ravages of time. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I wanted to lose a little weight. I had back
Speaker 3: problems and and they will tell you the swim. The
Speaker 3: swim folks will tell you that's the best thing you
Speaker 3: can do for your back.
Speaker 2: Incredible exercise, it is, it really is.
Speaker 3: So I joined a master's program okay, the old do
Speaker 3: you go aquatic facility and beautiful Burbank.
Speaker 2: Okay, And we swim a couple times a week together.
Speaker 3: And in one of the I was gonna say, one
Speaker 3: of the slower lanes, the slowest tie.
Speaker 2: Let's I'll call a spade of spade. But yeah, I
Speaker 2: love it. It's great exercise and wonderful camaraderie, is it.
Speaker 2: Do you have to have a certain level of skill
Speaker 2: to join?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think it does assume you know some like swim
Speaker 3: terminology and you can swim kind of a certain very illugiant.
Speaker 2: It is pretty. They've built the wall so I can't
Speaker 2: climb over.
Speaker 3: And you do need to subject a DNA test because
Speaker 3: they want to know your background, your heritage, if from
Speaker 3: if you have a Teutonic origin, you're a welcome now not.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think it kind of assumes that you've
Speaker 2: done some right, you have some level of Yeah, you're
Speaker 2: not me just dog paddling, right, are you? Do you
Speaker 2: like to swim when? But I don't. I also just
Speaker 2: want to mention I love how much sound has happened,
Speaker 2: never birds. There is this inflatable. It's incredible. Is almost
Speaker 2: done with this? Yeah, I'm gonna capture the final moment,
Speaker 2: please do Yeah, the final pumps. Look at this outstanding work.
Speaker 2: The two of us couldn't do this in a decade
Speaker 2: and with minutes. Look at that. Now we can all
Speaker 2: begin swinging. Yes, finally, I'll put this on the roof
Speaker 2: right after.
Speaker 3: It really is a nice you know, not to compliment
Speaker 3: my own gift, but it's a nice looking.
Speaker 2: It's a really good looking inflatable. I feel like there
Speaker 2: are a few, like there's the unicorn. We're doncing that
Speaker 2: on social light. Pizza again, all right, we get it.
Speaker 2: You like pizza. You like to tell people you like pizza. Yes,
Speaker 2: you've made it a personality. But no. I took swim lessons. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but really like I can kind of swim. I can do.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know any of the words arms
Speaker 2: going forward on my back like you talked the top,
Speaker 2: all right, I mean arms, sure, but I do love
Speaker 2: doing it. In my old apartment, they had kind of
Speaker 2: the swimming pool that was essentially in the parking garage,
Speaker 2: kind of a dungeon. Oh interesting, which that held some
Speaker 2: appeal I guess where it kind of felt like you
Speaker 2: were in the sewer and I was I think the
Speaker 2: only person in the entire building who used it. And
Speaker 2: it was so nice to wake up and go swim
Speaker 2: in the parking lotch in the parking garage. Exercise down
Speaker 2: there too. Oh yeah, okay, that's the only thing keeping
Speaker 2: it from the cars was like a you know, like bars.
Speaker 2: It was a very appealing swimming pool. I think there
Speaker 2: are a lot of those in LA where they're like,
Speaker 2: it's got a pool. It just happens to be in
Speaker 2: a parking garage.
Speaker 3: Right, and so they can put it on the apartment
Speaker 3: listing and it's nothing you would.
Speaker 2: Ever used with any regular exactly.
Speaker 3: I was in one of those apartment buildings once that
Speaker 3: had the pool kind of like in the center, huh,
Speaker 3: and like the idea of swimming in it was so
Speaker 3: unappealing just because people could look out their windows.
Speaker 2: Opticon. Yeah, the swimming pop to her anally's fucking great.
Speaker 2: It looks gorgeous as it really does. Wow, it's really
Speaker 2: an outstanding No. But yeah, the one in the middle.
Speaker 2: I don't want anyone from above looking at you know,
Speaker 2: if you're in the pool of Okay, fair game. We're
Speaker 2: all using this facility, this thing, but to be looking
Speaker 2: down on me, you know, spying, maybe taking pictures criticizing
Speaker 2: the way I swim, right, critiquing your stroke. No, I
Speaker 2: don't need any of that. Sure, no, thank you.
Speaker 3: You have to stay long in the water bridge, or
Speaker 3: you have to it's all about form.
Speaker 2: Stay long, cut your hands, cup your hands. You don't
Speaker 2: want to hear that. Being young, you assume they are
Speaker 2: adult swimming lessons. There are, yeah, I think there are.
Speaker 3: I think you go to any you know, public pool
Speaker 3: and there will be someone there I should teaching you.
Speaker 2: Okay, honestly, wow, Anally's pose with your work. Take your
Speaker 2: picture here. This is amazing. No, this is the perfect,
Speaker 2: incredible Okay, great, No, I.
Speaker 3: Don't have uptight ideas about what constitutes a marriage.
Speaker 2: My greatest memory from swimming was I was in boy
Speaker 2: Scouts and we had to get a swimming merit badge.
Speaker 2: I think it was a swimming wear badge or something,
Speaker 2: and they made us swim fully clothed. Really yes, So
Speaker 2: I was being like weird flannel jeans, everything, and it
Speaker 2: sinks you so quickly. Yeah, it's like if you fell
Speaker 2: in you would know again. I will say it felt
Speaker 2: very cinematic, okay, I mean nothing feels more dramatic than
Speaker 2: being in a pool swimming from end to end in
Speaker 2: your flannel. That would make a good movie. Now that
Speaker 2: you say I can, sounds like this is my pitch.
Speaker 2: It's someone in flannel swimming. That's that's at least four movie.
Speaker 3: So that could be a fun prid for mister Tim Allen. Oh,
Speaker 3: I'm you not getting me in a speedo, him in
Speaker 3: my dungaree like a real man, fully color man swims
Speaker 3: in his jeans in flannel.
Speaker 2: Why is that my Tim Allen impression? It's a cave
Speaker 2: man that feels right? Yeah, not enough grunting obviously. Whatever
Speaker 2: happened to the sidekick from Home Improvement? Oh al Borlan
Speaker 2: al Borland hosted Family Richard Richard kind love Richards, but yeah,
Speaker 2: we might love this Richard too. I don't know Richard
Speaker 2: Karan with Richard Karn. Interesting. We don't know what Richard
Speaker 2: Karn's politics are. I have to assume he's better than
Speaker 2: Tim Allen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not tough to be better than Tim Allen, but yes,
Speaker 3: I would I would like to believe that good old
Speaker 3: al Borland has his headst right.
Speaker 2: We should get Richard on the podcast Richard reach Out
Speaker 2: Richard Karn. I believe he was also selling garage doors
Speaker 2: at one point. Okay, that sounds just kind of the
Speaker 2: face of a garage door. It's a nice Yeah, there's
Speaker 2: a nice one to one. Yeah, that made sense. I'm
Speaker 2: a smart branding. I am such a.
Speaker 3: Big Steve Harvey Family Feud fan, and it is my
Speaker 3: favorite TV.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Nothing makes me laugh more than Steve Harvey mugging. And
Speaker 3: maybe it's like a you know, when you become a
Speaker 3: comedy professional. Sometimes it's a little bit hard to like
Speaker 3: watch comedy. You pick it, you wonder why you didn't get.
Speaker 2: That job, just blasting with envy, right, yes.
Speaker 3: Exactly, But there's something just so primal about Steve Harvey
Speaker 3: mugging it. I have a huge belly laughs every time
Speaker 3: I watch Family Feud.
Speaker 2: I've never seen a full episode of Family Feud. Oh
Speaker 2: you must.
Speaker 3: Celebrity Family Feud is coming back, so it'll be him
Speaker 3: and celebrity teams, which is really fun.
Speaker 2: Okay, I need to give how do you even access that?
Speaker 2: Let's see.
Speaker 3: So it is one of the few things that I
Speaker 3: still just watch on broadcast ass TV channel nine, Channel nine,
Speaker 3: So that'll come on several times in the evening, okay,
Speaker 3: but the celebrity ones are on Hulu. Hulu, Okay, I
Speaker 3: need to give it a one. Just culturally, I think
Speaker 3: that I need to experience to I've seen Family Feud.
Speaker 2: I think you should. I think you like it. I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm out of the conversation. Everyone's talking about
Speaker 2: the bear and the Family Feud. These are the things.
Speaker 2: Have you seen House of the Dragon and Family Feud? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So Richard carn hosted that than Steve Harvey, then Steve
Speaker 2: I think was the line of succession next. I don't know.
Speaker 3: No one take it over because I like it too much.
Speaker 2: Like it is. I wonder how Richard carn was as
Speaker 2: a host.
Speaker 3: I bet probably not, is I bet more just kind
Speaker 3: of a pleasant host and the less less less of
Speaker 3: a comedy.
Speaker 2: Perspective, right, more of like a dad presence, more of
Speaker 2: a dad friendly neighborhood dad. And that's a good presence.
Speaker 2: I like that. But you know, I I need I
Speaker 2: need the I need the high energy Steve Harvey in
Speaker 2: those suits and those purple.
Speaker 3: Suits, looking at the camera like, can you believe what
Speaker 3: she just said? Am I Where do I work?
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen a live tape it? No, I
Speaker 2: would love to. Oh my god, I think it's in Atlanta.
Speaker 2: Oh it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if I ever travel to Atlanta, that would
Speaker 3: be me. That's your number one. I might do it
Speaker 3: just for that.
Speaker 2: Wow. I thought I just assumed it was somewhere in
Speaker 2: the valley. Yeah. No, you know, And it's interesting because
Speaker 2: it is in the South. You know.
Speaker 3: The answers on that show are all surveyed, and the
Speaker 3: answers are kind of Southern. They are like there there's
Speaker 3: a lot of church in them. There's a lot of like,
Speaker 3: who's the worst person to see you with your pants down?
Speaker 3: And it's always preachers number one.
Speaker 2: So yeah, they're Wow, that's really probably shaping the national
Speaker 2: conversation on a lot of things. The South is secretly
Speaker 2: controlling the country through family feud, right, I know this
Speaker 2: is the thing. Let's make some YouTube videos radicalized in people.
Speaker 3: Our YouTube channel will be blowing up inflatables and explaining
Speaker 3: how family feud controls politics.
Speaker 2: Is there any like strategy to family feud or is
Speaker 2: it just you're good at guessing?
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, I think it's like and with family fue,
Speaker 3: you know, you have eight answers or six answers or whatever,
Speaker 3: and the top ones are always you could are pretty
Speaker 3: easy to get. Who's the worst person to see with
Speaker 3: your parents die? A preacher, your boss, your parents? And
Speaker 3: then the last two are always just like there was
Speaker 3: one psycho who said something weird, there was one psycho
Speaker 3: who said like a horse, you know, and that's on
Speaker 3: there because one person said it, right. I think it's
Speaker 3: all just like can you find those or can you
Speaker 3: play the game right to where that doesn't matter?
Speaker 2: So I'm really excited to start this journey. I just
Speaker 2: finished Tabitha's Salon Takeover, which was an incredible show three
Speaker 2: seasons of an Australian woman taking over salons around the
Speaker 2: country to try to turn them around. I love a
Speaker 2: turnaround show. I was a bar rescue guy for a while,
Speaker 2: then you would love Tabitha. Okay, she's going into these salons.
Speaker 2: They're a mess. She's taking the keys, she's taking over,
Speaker 2: and she's getting She's essentially just trolling the people in
Speaker 2: the place, yelling at them, insulting them, trying to cause
Speaker 2: fights through salons across America, and then remodeling and leaving
Speaker 2: it to go out of business. Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Usually those shows where you see the business makeover.
Speaker 3: If you google the business while you're watching, it has
Speaker 3: already closed.
Speaker 2: Yes, are you have you ever been to Capri Club
Speaker 2: in Eagle Rock.
Speaker 3: Yes, this is the kind of rum focus. They do
Speaker 3: a lot of tropical hip fancy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It was on restaurant Yeah Rescue, so there's bar
Speaker 2: rescue and then there's some other wine one. Yeah, one
Speaker 2: of these. It was on that in like twenty eleven.
Speaker 2: My gosh was owned by these kind of horrifying twins
Speaker 2: who had no idea how to make Italian food. It
Speaker 2: was looks so revolting, and it got completely made over
Speaker 2: in the most twenty eleven thing where you can imagine,
Speaker 2: and then obviously went out of business and is now
Speaker 2: still the same emails. Yes, and it's very popular. Huh,
Speaker 2: But to know what it is now and go watch
Speaker 2: that episode of the show, Alisa, could you tell us
Speaker 2: what that show was called? I mean, it could be
Speaker 2: Kitchen Nightmares. It's Kitchen Nightmares. The Twins. Yes, the twins
Speaker 2: are very scary and they make some very twins are
Speaker 2: sorry if that's not Popp named Jeff and Jim. By
Speaker 2: the way, Jeff and Jim twins are not scary. Take
Speaker 2: that back. Are you a twin? No? But I just
Speaker 2: I love them. I feel like there's this this conversation
Speaker 2: started up about five years ago where people started saying
Speaker 2: twins were scary only that like is that like I
Speaker 2: hate the word moist kind of thing. Okay, I'm sorry
Speaker 2: I wandered into that trap. Gosh, I feel like I
Speaker 2: have original, but I appreciate you owning. Yes, I think,
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously in the shining.
Speaker 3: Right, maybe that's the twins were intentionally scary for some reason.
Speaker 2: But I don't think they're smooth. Yeah, when was the
Speaker 2: last time I interacted with him in person? That's right?
Speaker 2: Maybe I am.
Speaker 3: And at the same time, you know it's you know,
Speaker 3: you have a friend there and they're coming after me.
Speaker 3: Sure they're popping up in your bedroom and you didn't
Speaker 3: know they were in the house.
Speaker 2: I take it back, they're terrified. We need to eliminate
Speaker 2: all twins. It's interesting that twins are either they've media
Speaker 2: has either called them sexy or scary. You can't just
Speaker 2: be a normal twin.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, because there was that time in media when
Speaker 3: you know, the ultimate bait was a twin, and then yes,
Speaker 3: and of course the viral and twins.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. Yeah, it's like twins in a corvette.
Speaker 3: I'm the horniest guy in nineteen eighty nine.
Speaker 2: Twin representation has been very bad, Yeah, very very bad.
Speaker 3: Either over sexualized or you turned into a ghost monster.
Speaker 2: These poor people. And then the unattainable billionaires of the
Speaker 2: Ulsen Twins. Yes, of course they're really doing the twin thing, right,
Speaker 2: smoking their way out of twindom. Yeah, well, I think
Speaker 2: we should play a game. I would love to play
Speaker 2: a game. Oh my gosh, we're gonna we haven't played
Speaker 2: this in a minute. Were gonna play Gaster? I need
Speaker 2: a number between one and ten from you? Uh seven, Okay,
Speaker 2: I have to do some like calculating in order to
Speaker 2: get our game pieces. You can recommend, promote, do whatever
Speaker 2: you want. I'll be right back.
Speaker 3: Oh sure, I'll give a one more plug form my
Speaker 3: graphic novel Youth Group should be in stores now, the
Speaker 3: Ya horror comedy about teenage exorcists for fans of Buffy
Speaker 3: the Vampire Slayer Sean of the Dead, art by the
Speaker 3: Great Bowen mcgerty. You can get that Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 3: Better yet, your local indie bookstore. If they don't have
Speaker 3: it on the shelf, ask them for Youth Group. They'll
Speaker 3: order it up for you. I'm really proud of it.
Speaker 3: I love how it turned out. It's a personal tale
Speaker 3: in many ways, but it's fun and spooky. If you're
Speaker 3: a youth group kit, I think you'll find some familiar
Speaker 3: cringe if you weren't. It's a fun tale with a beginning, middle,
Speaker 3: and an end that will delight comics readers and casuals alike.
Speaker 2: Beautiful. Thank you, everybody go get at the proper length.
Speaker 2: That felt right. Yeah, it was just enough information. I
Speaker 2: was giving you time to do your calculations well, and
Speaker 2: then I gave you a little more time. I like
Speaker 2: there's a mutual respect within the promotional circle, of course.
Speaker 2: Can I recommend anything, Oh, the Basement Jack's album Kish Cash.
Speaker 2: If you haven't listened to that in a long time, ooh,
Speaker 2: that's an underrated album. What a fun do. Are you
Speaker 2: familiar with Basement Jacks? M Yeah, they were.
Speaker 3: They were in my rotation in high school early college,
Speaker 3: and I have not revisited them sometime.
Speaker 2: I think this one's from two or three. I bet
Speaker 2: that's a good year for them. Solid gold, pure gold
Speaker 2: that are not in the car on the way home.
Speaker 2: It's probably the best n SYNC side product. JC what's
Speaker 2: his last name? Chase is on it. Really incredible. And
Speaker 2: then you've got all kinds of people. I'm Susie, Sue.
Speaker 2: Oh it's so good, really, Susie, Yeah, it's great. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is how we play gift masks. Okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: name three celebrities. I'm gonna name three things you can
Speaker 2: give away gifts that you could give these celebrities. You're
Speaker 2: gonna tell me which gift you would give which celebrity
Speaker 2: and why? Fine love it? Okay. The three celebrities today
Speaker 2: are number one, Tom Brady, get him out of those
Speaker 2: stupid commercials, get him off my TV. Number two Billie Eilish,
Speaker 2: number three Andy McDowell. Okay. The gifts you'll be giving
Speaker 2: are an FBI raid, controlling share in the Ford Motor Company,
Speaker 2: and sense of professionalism. Okay. Birds are screaming for Andy McDowell. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they love her, so, I mean, but who does it?
Speaker 2: Who does? I truly think she's kind of universally loved humans?
Speaker 2: Birds please, those are her three main audiences. Sure, yeah,
Speaker 2: that kind of makes sense actually.
Speaker 3: So okay, FBI raid. I am aware that Tom Brady,
Speaker 3: by a certain metric, is the most famous man in
Speaker 3: the world.
Speaker 2: I really know what his deal is. Maybe kind of
Speaker 2: a secret.
Speaker 3: Conservatives, let's say FBI raided Tom Brady just in.
Speaker 2: Case, just find out what's going on.
Speaker 3: Let's just be sure. Let's just all and if there's something,
Speaker 3: it's good that we did it. And if there's not,
Speaker 3: we have some peace of mind.
Speaker 2: Can't be too careful.
Speaker 3: Controlling stake in the Ford motor company. Gotta be Andy McDowell.
Speaker 3: She has a sense of professionalism. I think we need
Speaker 3: American industry now more than ever. I don't want to
Speaker 3: put it in the hands of someone who's gonna treat
Speaker 3: it flippantly or casually. I think Andy McDowell will take
Speaker 3: it seriously and bring industry back to our nation.
Speaker 2: I can see her behind the wheel of a Ford Taurus.
Speaker 2: She brings the Taurus back. I'm sure I don't think
Speaker 2: it's currently on the market. Yeah, feels, let's bring the Torus.
Speaker 3: See a respectable everyone loves her star like Andy McDowell
Speaker 3: behind the wheel.
Speaker 2: Maybe I just consider a Turus from an X Car
Speaker 2: trus Beaver and now, listen, I generally like Billie Eilish. Sure,
Speaker 2: I you know, I know the hits and I know
Speaker 2: you know, I like it when she shows up in
Speaker 2: a fun outfit with her brother Phineas to an event, right,
Speaker 2: And I yeah, generally have positive about Billie Eilish. Maybe i'll,
Speaker 2: you know, just by process of elimination, I'll have to
Speaker 2: give her the sense of professionalism. Not that I don't
Speaker 2: think she is. She's accomplished so much at such a
Speaker 2: young age, But I.
Speaker 3: Mean maybe, you know, maybe by gifting her this, we
Speaker 3: prevent her from like some sort of spin out, getting
Speaker 3: out of.
Speaker 2: The elders without enough respect, I think, right exactly, not
Speaker 2: wearing a suit, not wearing yes, yeah, so let's let's
Speaker 2: let's do that. Although I don't want it to seem
Speaker 2: like a slide against Billy Eilish. I like, well, she
Speaker 2: can just turn that into like her professional era. She's
Speaker 2: wearing business attire, she's acting very professional. She's got a
Speaker 2: pen and paper, a calculator. This is part of her
Speaker 2: new esthetic. Has one glass of wine at dinner, but
Speaker 2: not too you know, she's very buttoned up. Of course.
Speaker 2: In bed by ten that's her. That's a good like
Speaker 2: I think twenty years from now, like she's an aging
Speaker 2: pop star. That's a good title for an out. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she's got to put that in her back pocket and
Speaker 2: watch a little dateline in bed No drink some tea
Speaker 2: and then when she names it, you come out of
Speaker 2: the woodwork and sue.
Speaker 3: I will, oh, yes, me and my lawyers, we're gonna
Speaker 3: sue an a or two Billy.
Speaker 2: Old I be I'll be like eighty Okay. This is
Speaker 2: the final segment of the podcast. I said no emails.
Speaker 2: People write into I said, no gifts at gmail dot
Speaker 2: com begging for answers. Just they need help. Would you
Speaker 2: help me answer a listener question, Gosh, I would love to. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is dear Bridger and Guest. I would love some
Speaker 2: help with ideas to celebrate my friend's wedding. My friend
Speaker 2: Kyla got married in France last year and I couldn't
Speaker 2: be there. She is coming to visit the summer with
Speaker 2: her new husband, and I want to do something to
Speaker 2: congratulate them, but not create more luggage for them to
Speaker 2: have to pack home by giving gifts. We live in
Speaker 2: Washington State near Seattle, so the weather is perfect for
Speaker 2: outdoor activity right now. She is very sporty, likes to hike, bike,
Speaker 2: et cetera, and loves the sun and the beach. Oh,
Speaker 2: this is interesting that it's on this episode. Hmm.
Speaker 3: I know, I feel like we're is this this couple's
Speaker 3: dating profile that about.
Speaker 2: She likes gardening and cooking and is learning to make clothes.
Speaker 2: I don't know too much about her husband yet, but
Speaker 2: he has a cat and also likes outdoor things like
Speaker 2: bike rides. She didn't want to do a big second
Speaker 2: wedding party. So if you can help me come up
Speaker 2: with some other way to let her know that I'm
Speaker 2: so happy for her, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks
Speaker 2: for all you do. That's from Emma. So okay, so
Speaker 2: the first thing I'm seeing here is she's assuming that
Speaker 2: at any point this person wanted to do a big
Speaker 2: second wedding party. Okay, I don't think that Kyla ever
Speaker 2: even mentioned that. I think that was Emma's idea. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so Emma's throwing some blame at Kyla almost immediately. She
Speaker 2: didn't want to have a party for her real family
Speaker 2: here in the States. She's obviously bitter about that. Oh,
Speaker 2: there's maybe a little bit of that there. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: we're starting with kind of a bad attitude, and she
Speaker 2: basically doesn't care about the new husband. Didn't look into
Speaker 2: him at all.
Speaker 3: She thinks he likes cash. Yes, I guess he probably
Speaker 3: might like cats.
Speaker 2: She knew it was a fifty to fifty and she's uh,
Speaker 2: and that he likes bike rides. Okay, so that's a
Speaker 2: real easy thing to assume about a Frenchman. So almost
Speaker 2: he was having a bag at in the baskets of
Speaker 2: the disgusting stereotype of French smoking. He's having affairs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we know, he's this mime that my friend has married
Speaker 2: and she wants to give them something that she obviously
Speaker 2: doesn't want to buy anything expensive. When she says she
Speaker 2: doesn't want them to have to lug anything back, that's
Speaker 2: code for I don't want to spend too much money
Speaker 2: because I no longer care and they're a burrow. You've
Speaker 2: read between the lines. Yeah, I really have here, So
Speaker 2: what do you What do we say to Emma who
Speaker 2: doesn't deserve Kayla as a friend? Right? Yes, I think that.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, you could eject yourself from her life
Speaker 2: a gift. I'm just for your own good. I will
Speaker 2: be leaving. I won't be here when you get here.
Speaker 2: I won't be here, Yes exactly.
Speaker 3: I've rented you a nice airbnb and you can do
Speaker 3: in it whatever you want to. I have changed my
Speaker 3: number and I will get plastic surgery to alter my face.
Speaker 2: You can never find me. Give her the address of
Speaker 2: the Marriotte. There you go, that's where.
Speaker 3: Get You're gifting her some bonvoy points for Marriott's Day. Yeah, no,
Speaker 3: I mean you could. I mean again, themes of this episode,
Speaker 3: you could.
Speaker 2: This is a perfect gift, right, an inflatable thing to
Speaker 2: take to France. I mean right, it's already packed for you.
Speaker 2: There you go, you can. Yeah, so inflatable pineapple. If
Speaker 2: you make it a pineapple, they might invite you into
Speaker 2: their marriage, and wouldn't that be great?
Speaker 3: And then maybe you would be less bitter because you're
Speaker 3: a part of the marriage.
Speaker 2: I'm sure part of her French profile is that all
Speaker 2: French people are sexual deviance. Of course. Yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean she's.
Speaker 3: Already preconceived notions of the French. Yeah, so see if
Speaker 3: they are open to a little swinging, see if their
Speaker 3: definition of marriage is traditional or open minded. But I
Speaker 3: mean I think but also you just maybe plan a
Speaker 3: nice hike, use all.
Speaker 2: Trails, beautiful, all trails to get on all trails, download
Speaker 2: the map, download or you go on to download the maps.
Speaker 2: You don't know if there will be reception where Oh
Speaker 2: I was recently victim of this. Oh boy, I'm sorry
Speaker 2: sorry to hear that former guest of the show took
Speaker 2: me on a hike, did not download the map. I
Speaker 2: got so Sunbury. Did you survive barely? Wow? I truly
Speaker 2: felt myself panicking. Okay, you're like, maybe he's the end,
Speaker 2: just like, oh, the dangerous things do happen to people
Speaker 2: that crossed my mind?
Speaker 3: Download the maps, the maps, and then you give it.
Speaker 3: You have a nice some nice memories. You get some photos,
Speaker 3: and then maybe you know, a nice dinner somewhere where
Speaker 3: there's like a photo booth. You get some photos. You
Speaker 3: create these nice memories that they take with them always.
Speaker 2: You have a photo of you, Kyla, this sweat drench frenchman,
Speaker 2: sure so sexy, chuging right from a bottle of wine.
Speaker 2: It's a little berets slipping off the back of this
Speaker 2: mouthful of croissant. I think that's the perfect gift to hike.
Speaker 2: And then you surprise them by sneaking in an inflatable
Speaker 2: pineapple into their luggage without asking, just to test the water.
Speaker 2: Just to test the water. See how everyone feels. Yeah,
Speaker 2: after they get back to France, who text, did you
Speaker 2: find anything interesting in your luggage? Right? And then everything,
Speaker 2: all of Emma's problems are solved. You go, because she
Speaker 2: has so many problems. Emma, do not write back into
Speaker 2: the podcast. Oh, Jordan, we answered her question perfectly. I'm
Speaker 2: ready to swim to swing. I can do it all.
Speaker 2: Now you can in the comfort of my pineapple.
Speaker 3: There's nothing you can't do in the pineapple. It's all
Speaker 3: legal in the pineapple too. It's like international waters.
Speaker 2: I can gamble on this, that's all arowin out of
Speaker 2: the pineapple. I can kill political opponents whatever I want whatever.
Speaker 2: It's all games. It's too bad I don't have a swimming pool.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll just lie on the grass in my backyard.
Speaker 2: That's nice, and then occasionally take it to a friend's
Speaker 2: swimming pool or to my new swimming team that I'm
Speaker 2: inviting myself into. As long as Annalisa is there to
Speaker 2: blow it up for you. Well, thank you for being
Speaker 2: her much nice. What a thrill? Uh listener, Take a dip,
Speaker 2: do whatever you want with the rest of your day.
Speaker 2: I don't care. The podcast is over. I love you, goodbye,
Speaker 2: I said No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's
Speaker 2: produced by our dear friend Analise Nilson, and it's beautifully
Speaker 2: mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without
Speaker 2: our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course,
Speaker 2: could only come from miracle worker Amy Man. You must
Speaker 2: follow the show on Instagram at I said, no gifts.
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you
Speaker 2: get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting.
Speaker 2: And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts.
Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come
Speaker 1: to me empty, And I said, no, guess, your own
Speaker 1: presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So
Speaker 1: how do you dare to surbey me?