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Speaker 1: Motherfucking many years, so many episodes, motherfucking many episode. Yep, yep, yep.

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Speaker 1: There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

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Speaker 1: to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Dome Me, a

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Speaker 1: motherfucking many episode. That's right, bitches, Um back, I'm back

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Speaker 1: up in this thing. This is the podcast where we

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Speaker 1: dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories

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Speaker 1: and we finally worked to prove that theories that you

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Speaker 1: the listeners have at home. You got damn right. It's

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Speaker 1: a many episode. You goddamn right. I'm making my triumphant return.

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Speaker 1: You goddamn right. My voice sounds weird because it's going

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Speaker 1: out and I'm not exactly sure why, but that doesn't

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Speaker 1: fucking matter, you idiots. We're back, babe, and I couldn't

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Speaker 1: be more excited to be back here with you to

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Speaker 1: talk some ship about some conspiracy theories, the ones that

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Speaker 1: you send me. This is very exciting stuff. Leaves. Do

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Speaker 1: not let my voice sounding like that nigger from Run

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Speaker 1: DMC throw you off in the least bit, because I

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Speaker 1: am fucking excited. And I gotta tell you, folks, I

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Speaker 1: don't know when I started calling you folks. But I

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Speaker 1: gotta tell you, folks, I got a fantastic conspiracy sent

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Speaker 1: to me today, or it wasn't today, it was days ago,

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Speaker 1: but a conspiracy theory that I want to talk to

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Speaker 1: you about. Nonetheless, it's very exciting. This conspiracy theory actually

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Speaker 1: comes to me from a person named javan Javon sent

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Speaker 1: me an email, and Javon sent me from an email

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Speaker 1: from a Yahoo account, So you know, this motherfucker believes

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Speaker 1: in some bullshit. Anybody that's trying to communicate to you

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Speaker 1: through Yahoo is on something wild. But Javon said, Hi,

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Speaker 1: my name is Javon. I have a theory that we

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Speaker 1: have been tricked into believing that we're eating beef and chicken,

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Speaker 1: but in fact it's people. There's seven billion people accounted

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Speaker 1: for in the world. I'll come back to this. Many

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Speaker 1: animals on the planet that we don't even eat. He

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Speaker 1: capitalized that part are going extinct. There's only one thousand tigers,

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Speaker 1: hardly any ritos, etcetera, etcetera. My question you is where

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Speaker 1: are we getting all these cows and chickens to feed

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Speaker 1: billions of people daily. There's two k pap Eye's restaurants

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Speaker 1: in America alone. Think of all the other restaurants, grocery stores,

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Speaker 1: cafeterias and more that serve and sell beef and chicken

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Speaker 1: food options daily. Now, going back to that seven billion,

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Speaker 1: that's people accounted for globally. So I feel like all

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Speaker 1: of those human trafficking rings and whatnot people believe to

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Speaker 1: exist to buy and sell people into sex colts and whatnot,

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Speaker 1: no no ones that warny javan says, those unaccounted for

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Speaker 1: people are being ground up and molded to feed the world,

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Speaker 1: Like on the Matrix when the robots had the people

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Speaker 1: in the pods. When someone would die, it would just

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Speaker 1: be ground up and fed to another living quote unquote

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Speaker 1: pod person metaverse question mark. So that's my theory. We

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Speaker 1: haven't been eating animals for some time. L O L.

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Speaker 1: Javon did not sign off. He he just walked away,

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Speaker 1: real manic, as as one who has a yah who does.

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Speaker 1: But thank you Javon for sending me this this very

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Speaker 1: insane conspiracy theory. What a fantastic way for me to

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Speaker 1: return to this super toxic podcast. What better way than

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Speaker 1: to do it by talking about fucking cannibalism. You know,

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Speaker 1: I can't think of a better way. There's no better way.

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Speaker 1: But to your question, Javon, of whether or not we

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Speaker 1: are eating people, it's hard to know, right because despite

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Speaker 1: what are dignified white Stree books might have have, you believe,

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Speaker 1: there's actually a fair amount of evidence that people have

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Speaker 1: eaten other people since the dawn of time, since the

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Speaker 1: dawn of mayn You know, Baleontologists have uncovered mashed and

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Speaker 1: ground up bones from old Neanderthal days that suggests that

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Speaker 1: cave men were eating each other back then. Yeah, the old,

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Speaker 1: big old cave man motherfuckers used to smash each other

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Speaker 1: over the head and take a bite out of each

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Speaker 1: other's very very hairy expenditures. They did whatever they wanted

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Speaker 1: to each other, I guess, rape, pillage and of course nibble.

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Speaker 1: Fossil evidence from glous This shirt tells us that the British,

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Speaker 1: actually we're eating each other two thousand years ago, you know,

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Speaker 1: they were chowing down on their own friends quote unquote

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Speaker 1: blood pudding. You know, even today there have been cases

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Speaker 1: of folks taking baths salts and eating strangers faces. And also,

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Speaker 1: am I the only person while we're on the subject,

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Speaker 1: and the only person who didn't realize that bath salts

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Speaker 1: did not refer to actual bath salts, do you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? Like this whole time, I thought motherfucker's

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Speaker 1: were just getting high on lavender scented rocks and then

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Speaker 1: acting a fool. But apparently it's street code for a

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Speaker 1: type of meth, not the ship that you get at

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Speaker 1: bath bath and body works. So that's my that's on me,

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Speaker 1: that's my bad. I thought motherfucker's were smoking actual bass salts,

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Speaker 1: but they're just being him in their reference to uh

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Speaker 1: street math because I like to call it, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I don't have a different name for it. I was

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Speaker 1: really reaching. Frankly, I set myself up for a joke

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Speaker 1: that I couldn't finish, and and I'm embarrassed. I'll be

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Speaker 1: honest with you, I'm terribly embarrassed. I might go smoke

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Speaker 1: some bass salts to make the shame go away. More

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Speaker 1: to the point, some of the most famous cases of

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Speaker 1: cannibalism come from moments where humans were pushed to their

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Speaker 1: limits and forced to eat each other for survival. In

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Speaker 1: the most famous case comes actually from the Pilgrims in Jamestown.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure how many of you are familiar, but

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Speaker 1: the Pilgrims in Jamestown, they found themselves in a bit

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Speaker 1: of a famine, you know that. I believe the starvation

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Speaker 1: period or something like that is what it was called,

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Speaker 1: from like sixteen o nine to sixteen ten, where they

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Speaker 1: had an entire year where famine hit their population and

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Speaker 1: shrink the population by eighty percent. Eighty percent of these

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Speaker 1: motherfucker's died so much so that they took to digging

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Speaker 1: up other corpses. That's right, they were digging up dead

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Speaker 1: bodies to eat these motherfucker's. So, as I was saying,

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Speaker 1: there's actually documentation, there's documentation of one of the survivors

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Speaker 1: from Jamestown, this dude, George Percy, very old timing named

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Speaker 1: George Percy. This motherfucker definitely was born in sixteen hundred

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Speaker 1: and something. But George Percy actually wrote all the way

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Speaker 1: back then. He said A world of miseries. And you

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Speaker 1: have to understand this is written in and and older

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Speaker 1: English than I read or write, So if there's any fumbles,

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Speaker 1: it is not my poor reading, which, as you know,

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Speaker 1: if you're a constant listener to this show, I am

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Speaker 1: a bad reader. But this one's actually not as much

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Speaker 1: on me. Now, what if I read this better than

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Speaker 1: I usually read? Was that? Does that tell you something?

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe I'm an old English motherfucker and this whole

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Speaker 1: time I've just been in the wrong century. Huh did

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Speaker 1: you ever think about that? You're stupid bitch. I bet

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Speaker 1: you didn't anyway. George Percy, my boy George said, A

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Speaker 1: world of miseries ensued as a sequel will express unto yeall,

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Speaker 1: and so much that some of these satisfy their hunger

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Speaker 1: have robbed the store for which I caused them to

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Speaker 1: be executed. Then, having fed upon our horses and other

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Speaker 1: beasts as long as they lasted, we were glad to

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Speaker 1: make shift with vermin as, dogs, cats, rats, and mice.

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Speaker 1: All was fish that came to net. To satisfy cruel

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Speaker 1: hunger has to eat boots, shoes, or even other leathers.

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Speaker 1: Some could come by, and those being spent and devoured.

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Speaker 1: Some were enforced to search the woods and feed upon

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Speaker 1: serpents and snakes, and to dig the earth for wild

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Speaker 1: and unknown roots where many are Men were cut off

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Speaker 1: and slain by the salvages. And now famine beginning to

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Speaker 1: look ghastly impale in every face, that nothing was spared

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Speaker 1: to maintain life and to do those things which seem incredible,

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Speaker 1: as to dig up dead corpses out of grays and

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Speaker 1: to eat them. And some have licked upon the blood

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Speaker 1: which have fallen from their weak fellows. Basically, your boy

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Speaker 1: George Percy is saying ship got so bad that they

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Speaker 1: started eating dogs and cats and rats, and then snakes,

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Speaker 1: and then ship that they dug up from the ground.

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Speaker 1: And once they started digging, honey, they kept on digging

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Speaker 1: and they found some of their their friends bodies and

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Speaker 1: they ate those two. And then when those people, I

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Speaker 1: think the complication is when those people started to get

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Speaker 1: sick from eating dead corpses, because you can't just dig

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Speaker 1: up dead bodies and just eat them. You gotta watch

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Speaker 1: the motherfucker's at least. But when they didn't wash them

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Speaker 1: and didn't take care of them, they started to drink

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Speaker 1: the blood and eat of each other, those of those

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Speaker 1: of them that we're dying on this truly horrific ship

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Speaker 1: coming out of Jamestown. But of course the Native Americans

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Speaker 1: were the savages. That's neither here nor there. The uh.

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Speaker 1: This is also not the first time that claims like

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Speaker 1: this have been popularized. Right, this claim of people eating

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Speaker 1: people in in a more contemporary society. A few years ago,

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Speaker 1: in fact, an article went vibral which claimed that nearly

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Speaker 1: nine percent of the meat tested at McDonald's contains human

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Speaker 1: flesh and nearly sixty of that meat contained horse flesh.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why it's we would be mixing up

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Speaker 1: both human and horse, but that's what the article said,

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Speaker 1: that's what they were trying to display. Now, the reports

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Speaker 1: were unverified, and eventually, you know, a lot of people

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Speaker 1: said it was completely false. However, the news became so popular.

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Speaker 1: This this article became so infamous that McDonald's even to

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Speaker 1: this day, still has a response refuting this claim on

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Speaker 1: their public website. If you go on the McDonald's website

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Speaker 1: and there's the question and answer section, there's a a

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Speaker 1: brave person who says, why y'll be feeding us human flesh?

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Speaker 1: And McDonald says, shut up, we don't do that. Shut up.

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Speaker 1: We're good people. We only have good halal beef at McDonald's.

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Speaker 1: And I'll be honest, I don't think they're selling us

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Speaker 1: human flesh. But if you want me to be convinced

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Speaker 1: that this is good beef McDonald's, you are mistaken. I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm no fool and I love McDonald's I'm a big fan,

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Speaker 1: but get the funk out of here if you think

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Speaker 1: that that been preyed over in any kind of way. Now,

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Speaker 1: as far as the question of why cows and chickens

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Speaker 1: have not yet suffered the same threat of extinction as

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Speaker 1: these other animals, it seems to be largely based around

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Speaker 1: which animals we care most about not going extinct. You know,

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Speaker 1: cows do not go extinct because they are an exclusively

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Speaker 1: domesticated species. At this point, other iterations of wild cows

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Speaker 1: have actually completely gone extinct. They've completely disappeared off of

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Speaker 1: the planet, and now the only cows that are left

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Speaker 1: are the ones that farmers are constantly breeding and protecting

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Speaker 1: for their milk and their meat. Basically, we fucked the cows.

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Speaker 1: We fun with the cows and the chickens. I don't

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Speaker 1: think we fucked them, but maybe we're doing that too.

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Speaker 1: But we fun with cows and chickens so that they

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Speaker 1: do not face the same threats as tigers, which we

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Speaker 1: would happily kill without blinking. And I because apparently tiger

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Speaker 1: meat just ain't that yummy, you know, harder to breathe

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Speaker 1: and breed and not as DELI just is what it

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Speaker 1: all breaks down to. Also, if you've watched Tiger King,

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Speaker 1: you know that the vast majority of the surviving tigers

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Speaker 1: on this planet actually live in captivity now, not in

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Speaker 1: the wild so much in the way of the cows

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Speaker 1: and the chickens. The only safety we can offer them

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Speaker 1: is imprisonment, because if they're out in the wild, people

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Speaker 1: are going to intentionally kill them. So, long story short,

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Speaker 1: I don't know that there's a ton of evidence that

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Speaker 1: we're actually eating human beings. However, what I will say

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Speaker 1: is if I was a major world power and and

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Speaker 1: I was sort of finding myself from the challenging situations

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Speaker 1: that are now facing world powers, of of the appending

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Speaker 1: famine and and the global destruction that's coming in every direction,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be that forward with the fact that I

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Speaker 1: was feeding my population human flesh. So you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: they're just telling us that because they don't want us

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Speaker 1: to know the real truth, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Maybe you're onto something moreover give insane chemicals and frankly

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Speaker 1: poisons we often find in our food. We should be

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Speaker 1: so lucky has to be here to eating human flesh,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? I would much rather be

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Speaker 1: eating human flesh instead of whatever the fund is the

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Speaker 1: Cheeto does. There's no way that ship is good for us.

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Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, we're truly on

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Speaker 1: the brink of of world destruction. And at some point

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Speaker 1: I think some of these these questions of what we

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Speaker 1: eat are going to shift. You know, you read articles

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Speaker 1: about our relationship to bugs and whether or not it's

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Speaker 1: going to become popular that we eat bugs and insects

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Speaker 1: in the coming years, and it's probably going to be

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Speaker 1: the case. Right now, bugs are disgusting to us, and

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Speaker 1: we're very outspoken about you, yucky. I would never put

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Speaker 1: my mouth on a cockroach. But goddamn, a few years

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Speaker 1: from now, after Russia goes crazy and uh and and

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Speaker 1: fox everything up, maybe maybe we'll find ourselves nibbling on

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Speaker 1: a big, old, big old water bug and being like, God, damn,

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Speaker 1: this is a delicious water bug. But thank god, we

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Speaker 1: don't eat people. Huh. Anyway, if you want to send

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Speaker 1: me your conspiracy theories about about other things were biting

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Speaker 1: into I don't know I'm reaching at this point, but

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Speaker 1: if you want to send me your conspiracy theories, I

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Speaker 1: would love to hear from you please send them to

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Speaker 1: my Mama pot at gmail dot com. I promised by

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Speaker 1: the next time I record, my voice will not sound

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Speaker 1: quite as shitty as it does right now. And and

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Speaker 1: I would love to hear from you, and I'd love

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Speaker 1: to see your reviews. I'd love to for you to

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Speaker 1: subscribe to the podcast. I'd make sweet love to if

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Speaker 1: you did that. And if you're around this Thursday, actually today,

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Speaker 1: March ten, it's the release of my brand new show

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Speaker 1: bus Now, which is available on Peacock, and I would

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Speaker 1: love for you to watch it. It's a really funny

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Speaker 1: show starring me, Jack Knight, Sam Jay and Chris Read,

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Speaker 1: three of my dearest friends in comedy, and it's truly

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Speaker 1: a spectacular mess. If you enjoyed the chaos of this show,

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Speaker 1: I promise you bust Count is ten times more chaotic

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Speaker 1: and uh half is funny, right right, nothing's funnier than

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Speaker 1: this podcast. Stupid idiots, don't you dare personal anything is okay?

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Speaker 1: I did enough talking by bitch, motherfucking miny years. So

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Speaker 1: many years, so motherfucking many years, so motherfucking mini years,

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Speaker 1: so many years, motherfucking many years. So