WEBVTT - Greek yogurt is discharge 0:00:18.489 --> 0:00:25.410 Okay, I don't know all that far. All I know 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:28.020 is that it's like when that hit the scene for 0:00:28.100 --> 0:00:30.540 licensing and movie trailers and commercials. 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:31.280 Skateboarding games. 0:00:31.300 --> 0:00:33.040 Things changed. Let's talk about. 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:33.640 The skateboarding games. 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:36.880 Everything was happy. Maybe we need more people screaming into 0:00:36.909 --> 0:00:37.790 the mic. We're all, like, so. 0:00:37.790 --> 0:00:38.830 We need Chop Suey. 0:00:38.950 --> 0:00:42.389 Yeah, we're doing a lot of, like, auto-tuning and then, like, 0:00:42.450 --> 0:00:45.310 vocal challenge. Like, is the mic on challenge? No, I 0:00:45.330 --> 0:00:46.440 want to see who can scream. 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:46.860 Yeah. 0:00:47.020 --> 0:00:48.000 I want to see you scream. 0:00:48.100 --> 0:00:50.260 I want to see more AI music. 0:00:50.540 --> 0:00:51.720 That's what I was thinking. 0:00:51.740 --> 0:00:56.500 Like more, more AI slot music charting. Like that's really important. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:57.050 That's what I want to see. 0:00:57.060 --> 0:00:59.280 Because I'm sure Taylor Swift is tired. She wants to chill. 0:00:59.300 --> 0:01:00.320 She wants AI to take the spot. 0:01:00.380 --> 0:01:01.160 Yeah, she needs that. 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:04.310 Guys, when this is out, Four New Songs by Taylor 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:05.480 Swift will be out. 0:01:05.530 --> 0:01:06.410 The encore. 0:01:06.430 --> 0:01:07.970 We have a lot of decoding to do, girls. 0:01:07.990 --> 0:01:11.370 And guys, and guys, and guys, and girls, she said 0:01:11.410 --> 0:01:13.230 she wasn't going to do this, but she tricked us. 0:01:13.450 --> 0:01:14.290 She just can't stop. 0:01:14.310 --> 0:01:15.990 She's one of those tricky little devils. 0:01:16.010 --> 0:01:18.970 You know how brats have passion for fashion? Taylor's got that. 0:01:19.650 --> 0:01:20.709 Fashion for music. 0:01:20.810 --> 0:01:27.910 Yeah. Wait, passion for fashion. Um, Music for music. 0:01:27.930 --> 0:01:28.850 Passion for jet fuel. 0:01:29.530 --> 0:01:29.750 Yeah. 0:01:30.030 --> 0:01:33.130 Dude, I can't lie. I love call out posts of 0:01:33.170 --> 0:01:37.420 like celebrities taking the shortest flights ever. Like, first of all. 0:01:37.459 --> 0:01:40.660 Kylie Jenner having the world record shortest flight and it 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:43.160 was 15 minutes and it caused 10,000 tons of airway. 0:01:43.180 --> 0:01:44.810 And I thought we used to be happy when women 0:01:44.830 --> 0:01:47.369 were like on the planes and stuff. We cheered for 0:01:47.410 --> 0:01:49.850 Amelia Earhart and we're still looking for her. 0:01:49.870 --> 0:01:51.030 Well, she got eaten by crabs. 0:01:51.190 --> 0:01:51.510 I know. 0:01:51.530 --> 0:01:52.230 Coconut crabs. 0:01:53.170 --> 0:01:55.910 And then it's fucked up because Prodigy put that on 0:01:55.950 --> 0:01:59.330 their cover album. They used those crabs on an album 0:01:59.370 --> 0:02:01.690 cover and they were actually mocking Amelia Earhart. 0:02:01.750 --> 0:02:02.560 I did not know that. 0:02:02.610 --> 0:02:02.830 Yeah. 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:06.200 That makes me look at him differently. Oh, my God. 0:02:06.220 --> 0:02:08.040 My stomach's making the craziest sounds ever. 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:09.639 Just plain big. 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:13.359 Last night before I went to bed, I could not 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:16.340 go to sleep for some reason without chomping on something. 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:22.419 So I ordered... Doritos, Cool Ranch, the new spicy ones. 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:23.980 Oh wait, spicy Doritos. 0:02:24.060 --> 0:02:26.419 Yeah, they were spicy ones, which I'm like, really, what 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:29.930 are we doing? Because this tastes, there's not, Cool Ranch 0:02:29.970 --> 0:02:33.370 was never in this Ancestry 23andMe like situation of whatever 0:02:33.410 --> 0:02:35.870 that chip is. Like they're not actually related. That doesn't 0:02:35.889 --> 0:02:37.900 taste like a Cool Ranch chip at all. It just 0:02:37.940 --> 0:02:39.620 tastes like a hot chip. And then I got hot 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:41.300 fries because every now and then I'm like, oh, my God, 0:02:41.340 --> 0:02:42.180 hot fries. 0:02:42.060 --> 0:02:43.640 Sound so good. Digging in a bag of hot fries 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:44.579 at 1 a.m. is life-changing. 0:02:44.780 --> 0:02:47.230 And then I got dill pickle popcorn. 0:02:47.290 --> 0:02:49.750 See, you've been doing that recently, and, like, I was 0:02:49.790 --> 0:02:51.830 hating on it at first. But when I see it 0:02:51.870 --> 0:02:54.350 in the cupboard, they will get ate. And they will 0:02:54.370 --> 0:02:57.650 get secretly ate. And then I'll accidentally tear that fragile-ass 0:02:57.710 --> 0:02:58.190 bag all. 0:02:58.130 --> 0:02:58.430 The way down. 0:02:58.470 --> 0:02:58.610 I know. 0:02:58.630 --> 0:03:00.970 And then when I get to it, it's literally popcorn 0:03:01.169 --> 0:03:02.269 all is in the cabinet. 0:03:02.290 --> 0:03:04.430 Yeah, and that's my bad. And that's my truth. 0:03:04.470 --> 0:03:08.050 That's my story. We should just buy, like, egregious amounts 0:03:08.090 --> 0:03:09.389 of plastic containers. 0:03:09.410 --> 0:03:10.310 I love that. 0:03:10.770 --> 0:03:12.390 And then put everything in the plastic containers. 0:03:12.410 --> 0:03:15.630 We should put the turtle babies inside the plastic container 0:03:16.510 --> 0:03:18.470 and watch them try to swim out in the ocean. 0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:22.680 I saw that, like, a sea turtle laid eggs on 0:03:22.690 --> 0:03:25.580 the West Coast for the first time in recorded history. 0:03:26.100 --> 0:03:30.160 And that is apparently really scary for some reason. Just 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:30.880 fun fact. 0:03:31.460 --> 0:03:32.840 Well, okay. 0:03:34.169 --> 0:03:37.150 I think it's scary because of climate change, which I 0:03:37.190 --> 0:03:40.390 sounded big. Climate change. 0:03:43.980 --> 0:03:46.160 I mean, yeah, that's how there's no, there hasn't been 0:03:46.180 --> 0:03:50.700 a single recorded hurricane or storm of that magnitude in 0:03:51.100 --> 0:03:54.820 the Atlantic Pacific. 0:03:57.100 --> 0:03:57.860 Yes. 0:03:58.940 --> 0:04:00.600 Yes, across the Pacific. 0:04:00.650 --> 0:04:03.130 Atlanta, Pacific, Indian. 0:04:03.470 --> 0:04:05.210 That just reminded me, I saw an edit of this 0:04:05.270 --> 0:04:08.779 football player who was introducing Trump and he didn't know 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:11.940 what number president he was and he was like, I'm 0:04:12.060 --> 0:04:14.100 pleasured to announce. 0:04:14.420 --> 0:04:15.440 Adele Dazeem. 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:23.200 Yeah, like, the 47th, the 47th night. True. And then 0:04:23.260 --> 0:04:27.140 he broke his knee on those lines on a game 0:04:27.500 --> 0:04:28.460 that he had following that. 0:04:28.490 --> 0:04:29.260 Well, that's instant karma, babe. 0:04:29.290 --> 0:04:31.950 I know. It was literally him rolling around on the ground, 0:04:32.010 --> 0:04:33.870 and on it, it said on the 4th and 7th. 0:04:34.070 --> 0:04:34.450 Good. 0:04:34.670 --> 0:04:35.010 4th and 7th. 0:04:35.029 --> 0:04:35.750 4th and 7th. 0:04:35.770 --> 0:04:37.070 4th and 7th. 0:04:37.110 --> 0:04:37.230 What? 0:04:37.250 --> 0:04:37.630 Actually. 0:04:40.230 --> 0:04:43.550 That's how we know we're in a bad place socially 0:04:43.610 --> 0:04:44.530 is because we're in a meme drought. 0:04:44.550 --> 0:04:45.409 We're in a meme drought. 0:04:45.430 --> 0:04:48.030 There's nothing that we can all collectively say yay or 0:04:48.050 --> 0:04:48.350 nay to. 0:04:48.410 --> 0:04:54.089 The closest thing I've seen recently is, what's it called? 0:04:54.450 --> 0:04:59.250 Kim Petras stealing Charli XCX's bag. It's a very camp controversy. 0:04:59.290 --> 0:05:03.300 I'm eating it up. You're not gay like I'm gay. 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:04.180 Well, maybe. 0:05:06.210 --> 0:05:10.070 Yes. Yes. Well, yes. And Autobahn is a masterpiece. Duh. 0:05:10.110 --> 0:05:10.789 We knew this. 0:05:10.930 --> 0:05:13.430 I actually do like that song. I listened to it yesterday. 0:05:13.450 --> 0:05:15.229 Or like, I don't know if the whole thing was out, 0:05:15.330 --> 0:05:17.490 but I was watching through all the TikToks because I 0:05:17.529 --> 0:05:20.370 saw that they were referencing that one like video of 0:05:20.410 --> 0:05:23.109 the girls with the bags walking forward and then backward. 0:05:23.170 --> 0:05:25.540 Well, see, that's where the bag switching. That's where the 0:05:25.570 --> 0:05:33.219 bagging happened. She she bag mogged Charlie Kirk. I've still 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.460 never seen Charlie Kirk and XCX in the same room. 0:05:35.620 --> 0:05:37.740 Well, I just saw a picture of Erica Kirk wearing 0:05:37.820 --> 0:05:40.300 Air Force Ones that had Charlie Kirk painted on them. 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:43.480 Oh, that's Fierce. No, Fierce is Fierce, Annie. 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:45.060 Fierce recognizes Fierce. 0:05:45.100 --> 0:05:48.200 Fierce is Fierce. 0:05:49.060 --> 0:05:51.620 Oh, my God. I want her to have fucking big 0:05:51.690 --> 0:05:55.169 bunions after this tour. That's why she's in those fuck-ass sneakers, 0:05:55.210 --> 0:05:56.690 because her bunions are going crazy. 0:05:56.750 --> 0:05:58.650 Corn on the bottom of the feed. 0:05:58.690 --> 0:05:59.510 Corn on her cob. 0:06:00.029 --> 0:06:01.770 I want her cobs corned as fuck. 0:06:01.790 --> 0:06:05.640 Her corn is left on the cob. Ew, Erica Kirk, like, 0:06:06.310 --> 0:06:09.110 literally has private parts. Like, does that make sense? Like, 0:06:09.130 --> 0:06:11.029 there's some people who I'm like, ew, you actually are 0:06:11.050 --> 0:06:11.529 a human. 0:06:11.610 --> 0:06:11.890 Yeah. 0:06:11.950 --> 0:06:13.890 Like, does that make sense? I don't think of people 0:06:13.910 --> 0:06:16.430 naked in a sexualized way. I think of them like, 0:06:16.810 --> 0:06:18.730 if I ever picture them naked or think of it, 0:06:18.730 --> 0:06:20.250 I'm like, oh my God, because you are a human. 0:06:20.290 --> 0:06:24.270 Under all of this, like, weird parading of, like, ugly, like, 0:06:24.350 --> 0:06:27.690 foul-fitting white suits, you are a human under there. 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:30.220 Well, what I think about a lot is I look 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:34.520 at everyone and I'm like, wait, your dick, or your 0:06:34.580 --> 0:06:38.610 hand has been on a dick. Even the lesbians, bro. 0:06:38.670 --> 0:06:41.690 Like even the lesbians. Because I count plastic as dick. 0:06:43.250 --> 0:06:45.610 Like your hand has been on a dick or a poo. 0:06:49.210 --> 0:06:51.300 And then I think about it even further and I'm like, whoa, 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:56.520 your parents fucked gross. And then I see like, yeah, 0:06:56.540 --> 0:06:58.279 I just be like looking at people and thinking about 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:02.990 all the sex they have. But then I also think 0:07:03.029 --> 0:07:05.290 about it and I'm like, wait, like when is everybody 0:07:05.330 --> 0:07:08.989 jerking off? Because everyone does jerk off, but not enough 0:07:09.830 --> 0:07:14.520 people are getting caught. Like y'all be jerking off in 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.180 this house and I've never seen it. And I don't, 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:20.040 there's like a witching hour where we probably all three 0:07:20.060 --> 0:07:24.920 do it at the same time. The witching hour. 0:07:25.050 --> 0:07:29.070 It's like the super moon, the eclipse. Once a year, 0:07:29.650 --> 0:07:31.450 all three masturbate. 0:07:31.470 --> 0:07:33.610 Yeah, well, like I always like, you know, those videos 0:07:33.650 --> 0:07:36.870 where it's like, this is how like I caught my 0:07:36.910 --> 0:07:40.990 boyfriend cheating and it's that audio and it's like. And 0:07:41.030 --> 0:07:43.670 it's like the whispering, like that's what happens when we 0:07:43.710 --> 0:07:46.570 all three get horny at the same time. And then 0:07:46.610 --> 0:07:48.330 we like huddle. Also, Josh. 0:07:48.430 --> 0:07:48.810 Sorry. 0:07:48.930 --> 0:07:49.710 He's back here. 0:07:49.870 --> 0:07:50.990 Josh is monitoring. 0:07:51.010 --> 0:07:52.070 He's watching today. 0:07:52.090 --> 0:07:56.070 That was beautiful. So you're a pervert and you look 0:07:56.090 --> 0:07:57.790 at random people and you think about them boning. 0:07:58.230 --> 0:07:59.970 Well, like not in a sexual way and like a 0:08:00.010 --> 0:08:00.950 more disgusted way. 0:08:00.970 --> 0:08:03.490 Yeah, more like, oh, no, I'm just observing. It's for 0:08:03.530 --> 0:08:04.530 scientific purposes. 0:08:04.590 --> 0:08:08.210 It's always for science, babe. Everything leads back to sex. 0:08:08.770 --> 0:08:11.760 Well, here's the new science. The gelatin food is back. 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:13.080 Remember we were saying that. 0:08:12.980 --> 0:08:14.420 Like we're going to go full loop? Depression era. 0:08:15.290 --> 0:08:20.570 They are convincing people to put fresh fruit into gelatin 0:08:20.690 --> 0:08:22.850 and bone broth and shit. First of all. 0:08:22.870 --> 0:08:23.680 It tastes like shit. 0:08:24.620 --> 0:08:24.980 Like. 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:25.860 By the way. Y'all. 0:08:28.500 --> 0:08:31.660 Crumble cookie was the first sign of self-harm via food. 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:36.000 But this is like. the scariest part of that kind 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.359 of self-harm because at least crumble cookie is something you 0:08:38.380 --> 0:08:40.290 want to take a picture of and you want to 0:08:40.300 --> 0:08:43.260 show to people. If you're putting your smoked salmon and 0:08:43.350 --> 0:08:45.809 avocado into gelatin, I know that's not going on the gram. 0:08:46.070 --> 0:08:47.850 Well, you have to eat your skincare. You have to 0:08:47.910 --> 0:08:48.610 eat your skincare. 0:08:48.750 --> 0:08:50.290 Because going on your skin is not enough. 0:08:50.470 --> 0:08:51.189 You have to eat it. 0:08:51.230 --> 0:08:53.209 It has to go through the blood. It has to 0:08:53.230 --> 0:08:55.309 be digested and through your stomach. 0:08:55.429 --> 0:08:57.770 This is coming from a very ignorant place, but I 0:08:57.809 --> 0:09:02.330 don't believe in collagen anymore. Just FYI. Like eating collagen. 0:09:02.730 --> 0:09:06.720 I'm just like, listen, Get over yourself. 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:09.800 All of it is snake oil. Literally all of it. 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:13.850 Y'all are being fed lies and scams. But I will say, 0:09:14.020 --> 0:09:15.709 add a little whimsy to your life. 0:09:15.730 --> 0:09:17.590 You are the one being fed the scam, though. 0:09:17.610 --> 0:09:18.270 Well, that's what I'm saying. 0:09:18.290 --> 0:09:19.290 Because you partake in it. 0:09:19.350 --> 0:09:20.230 That's what I'm saying. 0:09:20.980 --> 0:09:25.900 Umpteenth degree. Like you like go crazy. 0:09:25.940 --> 0:09:28.480 You go so crazy, you go so free. But it's 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:30.580 like adding a little whimsy and it makes me feel 0:09:30.620 --> 0:09:32.880 good about myself. Like I know what I'm actually doing 0:09:32.940 --> 0:09:35.950 is doing nothing, but like there's this like placebo effect 0:09:35.970 --> 0:09:36.550 that happens in my brain. 0:09:36.570 --> 0:09:37.829 Well, it's the same thing of like when you're a 0:09:37.890 --> 0:09:40.809 kid and you see like a still pool of water 0:09:40.929 --> 0:09:44.230 after it rained and your knee-jerk reaction is to grab 0:09:44.290 --> 0:09:46.250 dirt and grass and shit and put it in there 0:09:46.290 --> 0:09:48.510 and feel like you're making something. I feel like It 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:51.000 caters to that same part of your brain. In your head, 0:09:51.059 --> 0:09:55.100 you feel as though you're conducting an experiment. 0:09:54.500 --> 0:09:56.120 Yeah, low key, low key. 0:09:56.420 --> 0:09:58.340 It's just everybody's experimenting on themselves. 0:09:58.380 --> 0:10:01.160 I ate a burrito first thing in the morning yesterday 0:10:01.300 --> 0:10:04.430 and it literally ruined my day. I'm not even kidding. 0:10:04.530 --> 0:10:05.309 It ruined my fucking. 0:10:05.330 --> 0:10:07.010 Was it a breakfast burrito? What was it? 0:10:07.050 --> 0:10:07.870 Where was it from? 0:10:07.929 --> 0:10:08.729 Like, I need details. 0:10:08.750 --> 0:10:11.770 So there's this place in Granbury called Monty's. 0:10:11.790 --> 0:10:13.540 Okay, that's immediately where you fucked up. 0:10:13.550 --> 0:10:17.250 Well, no, no, no, no. Because I was... Monty's is legacy, baby. 0:10:17.350 --> 0:10:21.850 That place has survived everything. They make good-ass fucking burritos, 0:10:21.910 --> 0:10:24.030 breakfast burritos. But next door. 0:10:24.050 --> 0:10:26.750 Your local H-E-B would be out of business if Monty's 0:10:26.770 --> 0:10:27.589 wasn't going again. 0:10:27.710 --> 0:10:33.750 Exactly. The cheddar. But Monty's... It has been there for 0:10:33.790 --> 0:10:37.949 so long. A competitor literally opened up right next door, like, 0:10:38.030 --> 0:10:41.569 and they stole the fucking recipe Plinkton style. Like it 0:10:41.610 --> 0:10:45.110 tastes the exact same and they undercut the prices. So 0:10:45.170 --> 0:10:49.089 now everyone's like, oh, these burritos are literally just Monty burritos. 0:10:49.309 --> 0:10:51.480 And they're the prices that they were when I was 0:10:51.510 --> 0:10:52.860 in high school. Like I used to be able to 0:10:52.900 --> 0:10:56.980 get sausage, bacon, egg, cheese. It's called a pirate burrito 0:10:57.500 --> 0:10:59.880 for $ 4. And I would do it every single morning 0:10:59.920 --> 0:11:04.030 before school. bitch, tell me why it's $ 11 now. Like 0:11:04.090 --> 0:11:08.590 what is going on? Inflation is crazy. Still expensive at 0:11:09.210 --> 0:11:12.340 the new place, Los Naros, I think. But I ate 0:11:12.380 --> 0:11:14.400 that anyways. And I went home and I was like, 0:11:14.420 --> 0:11:15.939 I'm going to be brave and eat this and just 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:19.439 like test my body and see what happens. Literally fell 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:22.850 asleep the entire car ride to the airport. It was horrible. 0:11:22.929 --> 0:11:25.670 And then I was like zombified. And normally on the 0:11:25.730 --> 0:11:27.689 way to the airport is when I check into my flight. 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.309 didn't check into my flight, got to the gate, tried 0:11:30.330 --> 0:11:32.030 to check in my flight. They said, oh, it's too 0:11:32.070 --> 0:11:34.850 late to check into your flight, had a mini panic attack. 0:11:34.950 --> 0:11:36.570 And then I laughed at myself and I was like, 0:11:36.590 --> 0:11:38.849 you know, like God's plan. If I got on that airplane, 0:11:38.870 --> 0:11:40.850 it would have crashed and I would have died. Went 0:11:40.870 --> 0:11:42.960 to the front desk, tried to resolve it and was like, hey, 0:11:42.980 --> 0:11:44.440 it won't let me check in. She was like, how 0:11:44.460 --> 0:11:49.240 did you get through TSA? I was like, I don't know. 0:11:49.260 --> 0:11:51.620 I snuck in and she was like, no, actually, though, like, 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.920 how did you get through TSA? And I was like, 0:11:53.950 --> 0:11:55.160 I don't know. I just gave them my ID. 0:11:55.170 --> 0:11:58.010 Well, it's because y'all just hire anybody and their mother. 0:11:58.030 --> 0:12:01.130 And they're like, half the people in this airport at 0:12:01.170 --> 0:12:03.370 this very moment can't read, me included. 0:12:03.690 --> 0:12:06.350 By the way, nicest TSA agent I've ever gotten. Like, 0:12:06.390 --> 0:12:08.790 he called me, like, babe and the girl behind me, babe. 0:12:08.809 --> 0:12:14.270 And I was like, fuck. And y'all know me, like, 0:12:14.290 --> 0:12:15.130 ugly motherfuckers. 0:12:15.150 --> 0:12:17.000 He wanted to get Pat searched so bad. 0:12:17.020 --> 0:12:18.540 Yeah, I was like, wait, I have a bomb in 0:12:18.580 --> 0:12:18.920 my day. 0:12:18.940 --> 0:12:19.480 Yeah. 0:12:20.770 --> 0:12:22.329 I have a pipe bomb in my pants. 0:12:22.510 --> 0:12:24.290 I have a pipe bomb up my ass. Can you 0:12:24.330 --> 0:12:24.910 grab it? 0:12:25.730 --> 0:12:28.820 Can you fist it? Okay. Fist it out of me. 0:12:29.030 --> 0:12:30.780 There's enough room for your hand to fit in there. 0:12:30.820 --> 0:12:36.480 I have like 86 little eggs of cocaine in my intestines. 0:12:36.580 --> 0:12:38.880 If you did an x-ray, you could see them. So 0:12:38.900 --> 0:12:40.750 you just have to go up in there, grab them. 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:42.910 What do they do? Do they just like shit it out? 0:12:43.030 --> 0:12:43.850 Yeah, you shit it out. 0:12:43.950 --> 0:12:47.550 I'll be damned. that was in a bitch's butt like 0:12:47.570 --> 0:12:50.079 y'all wanted so. 0:12:49.700 --> 0:12:52.360 Bad you are like not you but like people are 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:53.319 like when you do drugs like. 0:12:53.260 --> 0:12:55.660 Yeah y'all are literally doing drugs you're. 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.990 Doing colon coke colon coke and that's why it's hitting 0:12:59.030 --> 0:13:01.229 harder recently apparently I've been seeing a lot of people 0:13:01.270 --> 0:13:03.130 are dying it's because of the poop juice. 0:13:05.110 --> 0:13:08.750 Colon coke oh my gosh like I guess let me 0:13:08.790 --> 0:13:10.710 not say too much because I don't have an addiction 0:13:10.750 --> 0:13:14.150 like that. I am addicted to weed and thankfully the 0:13:14.190 --> 0:13:16.579 government got in on that bread. So now I just 0:13:16.980 --> 0:13:19.320 overspend on weed. 0:13:19.460 --> 0:13:21.459 What's your weed budget? No, I don't even want to 0:13:21.500 --> 0:13:23.780 talk about that. I literally can't even hear that. 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:24.940 It'll scare you. 0:13:25.020 --> 0:13:26.540 It'll freak me the fuck out. 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:28.400 Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? 0:13:28.460 --> 0:13:32.330 Remember Thrasher Tees and Adidas track pants with Adidas All-Stars? 0:13:32.350 --> 0:13:35.260 Yeah. I never had Adidas All-Stars, I don't think. 0:13:35.780 --> 0:13:38.839 That shit went triple platinum on me. Like, I literally, 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:45.000 and they stuck. My Adidas track pants stuck. Warm every day. 0:13:45.020 --> 0:13:50.150 And you know that fabric, like, is real. Me on 0:13:50.170 --> 0:13:52.790 press plate wearing three-day-old track pants. 0:13:53.050 --> 0:13:56.090 Every walk or, like, leg movement. 0:13:56.830 --> 0:14:01.030 No, literally. It was crusty like a girl. The inside 0:14:01.070 --> 0:14:02.110 was crusty like a girl. 0:14:02.450 --> 0:14:03.550 Crusty like a girl. 0:14:03.610 --> 0:14:06.050 Like when girls like discharge and it gets all crusty 0:14:06.070 --> 0:14:06.790 in their panties. 0:14:07.350 --> 0:14:08.030 Dehydration. 0:14:08.490 --> 0:14:09.850 Yeah, you could break it like a cracker. 0:14:10.790 --> 0:14:11.510 Crumble cookie. 0:14:12.890 --> 0:14:14.380 I want a crumble cookie down. 0:14:14.410 --> 0:14:15.930 Fuck, I was going to say something else about food. 0:14:15.980 --> 0:14:17.739 There was like a lot of food updates I saw 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.140 on my phone this week. Oh, this actually, no, this 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.780 has nothing to do with anything other than the fact 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:25.000 that I've decided Greek yogurt is fucking disgusting. Like the 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:28.740 fact that people eat that stinky fucking nasty yogurt, that 0:14:28.780 --> 0:14:30.580 shit pisses me off. When I go to eat yogurt 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.720 and it's not like vanilla. Like, if it doesn't have, like, 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:37.479 any sort of sweetness to it, ew, bitch, that's discharge. 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:41.900 To me, Greek yogurt, eating Greek yogurt is quite literally discharge. 0:14:42.140 --> 0:14:43.120 It's self-harm, too. 0:14:43.180 --> 0:14:44.230 It tastes like discharge. 0:14:44.250 --> 0:14:45.690 Yeah. How do you know? 0:14:45.710 --> 0:14:46.150 That's discharge. 0:14:46.170 --> 0:14:47.070 Wait, how do you know that? 0:14:47.970 --> 0:14:50.690 I have a few friends who needed a checkup, too. 0:14:50.710 --> 0:14:51.650 But you used your mouth. 0:14:51.670 --> 0:14:54.350 They need their oil changed. And my hands were broken. 0:14:54.710 --> 0:14:59.120 Wait, what's that football show, like, um... like some back 0:14:59.350 --> 0:15:03.430 no not back the blue it was like a football 0:15:03.450 --> 0:15:06.390 yeah I mean basically it was like a like Blue 0:15:06.410 --> 0:15:09.290 Mountain State Blue Mountain State they did oil changes to 0:15:09.330 --> 0:15:11.970 pass drug tests you know anything about that you know 0:15:11.990 --> 0:15:14.610 that yeah it's like it's straight boy shit like only 0:15:14.650 --> 0:15:23.100 the straight guys will get it but yeah and also 0:15:23.220 --> 0:15:27.460 greek yogurt's number one brand being called faggy that is 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:32.310 not a thing no it's f-a-g-e i think it's called 0:15:32.390 --> 0:15:34.650 phase yogurt but literally every time i see it i'm 0:15:34.690 --> 0:15:38.290 like bitch fag yogurt what the hell hold on let 0:15:38.330 --> 0:15:41.190 me make sure that's greek yogurt i want a theranos 0:15:41.230 --> 0:15:44.450 t-shirt so bad i was looking him up but i 0:15:44.490 --> 0:15:47.180 want like I want, like, a Theranos shirt from that 0:15:47.340 --> 0:15:51.140 era Theranos, not, like, a T-Republic, like, reprint. 0:15:51.220 --> 0:15:55.290 My ex's, like, uncle or brother-in-law or something has a 0:15:55.300 --> 0:15:57.650 Theranos machine. Like, has one. 0:15:59.030 --> 0:15:59.310 How? 0:16:00.150 --> 0:16:02.790 He bought it when it was, like, happening. Or, like, 0:16:03.010 --> 0:16:06.090 I think he has his certificate that he bought it 0:16:06.150 --> 0:16:10.500 from the GoFundMe, and then somebody made a recreation of 0:16:10.550 --> 0:16:12.360 what the machine was supposed to be for people who 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.180 were some of the first... Like bitters or some shit. 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:16.910 So he has a faux one. And then like, I 0:16:17.070 --> 0:16:18.790 shouldn't say he has a Theranos machine because like it 0:16:18.810 --> 0:16:21.070 doesn't actually exist. But I guess, no, they did have it. 0:16:21.090 --> 0:16:23.030 They had it at like Walgreens and stuff because it 0:16:23.070 --> 0:16:27.790 was like being used some places. Like whatever the fuck 0:16:27.810 --> 0:16:29.590 that means. I love her boots. I love her boots. 0:16:29.650 --> 0:16:31.330 I'm sorry, problematic babe. 0:16:31.530 --> 0:16:35.490 I love a crazy fucking liar because it's like you 0:16:35.550 --> 0:16:37.800 believe it. You believe it. You believe it. 0:16:37.930 --> 0:16:42.210 And I believe her. Like what happened to believing in women? 0:16:43.190 --> 0:16:45.190 That's where we all went wrong. 0:16:45.510 --> 0:16:47.870 Dude, in the new trailer, her husband, finding out that 0:16:47.910 --> 0:16:50.550 her husband is, like, breaded up, she's just too lit. 0:16:50.650 --> 0:16:53.980 She's fierce and having that goddamn baby to, like, ease, like, 0:16:54.100 --> 0:16:57.740 publicity and attention. Like, I love a problematic fave. I'm sorry, like. 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:00.420 I don't know what she actually did other than scam 0:17:00.460 --> 0:17:04.190 a bunch of like Patagonia vest wearing like Silicon Valley 0:17:04.250 --> 0:17:07.610 tech bros. Like I don't give a fuck actually. Like, yeah, 0:17:07.650 --> 0:17:10.540 you better fucking work, bitch. You better win. But she 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:13.200 probably did some problematic shit. This will bite me in 0:17:13.220 --> 0:17:13.369 the ass. 0:17:13.380 --> 0:17:16.180 I mean, she did problematic shit in the sense that 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.540 she was. letting it go out to public and people 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:22.930 were getting tested. And then they were like, oh, cool, 0:17:23.070 --> 0:17:25.370 I'm fully healthy. That machine told me I'm healthy. 0:17:25.450 --> 0:17:26.850 I went to Walgreens. 0:17:26.910 --> 0:17:30.030 Yeah, the whole time they literally were like melting from 0:17:30.070 --> 0:17:31.350 the inside out. 0:17:32.390 --> 0:17:36.340 No, I love that girl. But my favorite genre of 0:17:36.450 --> 0:17:42.659 controversy is Silicon Valley failed scam projects. Like, have y'all 0:17:42.700 --> 0:17:44.220 dug into Juicero ever? 0:17:44.990 --> 0:17:47.610 Yeah. Oh, my God. Like, not fully, but I know, like. 0:17:47.830 --> 0:17:49.130 I've met the guy on FaceTime. 0:17:49.390 --> 0:17:50.090 Explain it. 0:17:50.310 --> 0:17:55.090 So, basically, there was a Silicon Valley, like, juice guy. 0:17:55.109 --> 0:17:59.230 He was, like... He got in at the perfect time where, like, 0:17:59.850 --> 0:18:03.450 everyone was, like, obsessed with, like, juicing their own vegetables and, like, 0:18:03.570 --> 0:18:06.120 super health conscious. And there was this dude who, like, 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:09.540 only ate sprouts or some shit. He was very fierce. Like, 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:15.850 only ate sprouts, like... loved health, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, 0:18:15.869 --> 0:18:16.460 he tricked, like. 0:18:16.470 --> 0:18:19.560 Those being the two, like, healthy things you can think of. Like, 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:21.340 the person who only ingests red. 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:24.240 Baby, all I know is Wingstop. All I know is Wingstop. 0:18:24.260 --> 0:18:26.800 Red 40 and, yeah, like, blue 20. You're like, he 0:18:26.859 --> 0:18:30.680 loves sprouts and health in general. 0:18:33.130 --> 0:18:40.139 I only like Wingstop. But he developed this machine... So 0:18:40.180 --> 0:18:42.320 you didn't have to wake up every single day and 0:18:42.700 --> 0:18:46.000 juice your vegetables like with a juicer. It was this 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:49.140 packet that you would put in this machine and you'd 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:53.060 click a button and it would dispense it. Well, the 0:18:53.180 --> 0:18:55.870 second the product went out to like tech review companies, 0:18:55.950 --> 0:18:58.550 they like opened it up and it was literally just like. 0:18:59.530 --> 0:19:02.570 the juice was inside this packet and you were basically, 0:19:02.670 --> 0:19:06.630 you were sold this giant technology machine, like this giant, 0:19:06.750 --> 0:19:09.670 like over engineered machine. Cause he wanted to be like 0:19:09.859 --> 0:19:13.500 Apple that just like squeezed a juice pouch into your cup. 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:15.780 And everyone was like, bitch, fuck you. I think he 0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:18.639 like raised like a hundred million dollars and like to 0:19:18.700 --> 0:19:21.080 make this machine. And it was just like an absolute 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.119 bloody shit show. But, still again. 0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:26.740 I'm like that stuff just passed. But I guess also 0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:30.530 that whole world to me and I'll sound ignorant for 0:19:30.590 --> 0:19:32.830 a second and go even as far as saying like 0:19:33.869 --> 0:19:36.050 this is how I feel about like public training and 0:19:36.150 --> 0:19:38.450 stocks for the most part. I'm like, this is all 0:19:38.530 --> 0:19:41.970 just like it's a trick show. Like it's so. 0:19:41.810 --> 0:19:44.290 Much of it is it's all market manipulation. 0:19:44.310 --> 0:19:47.369 Yeah, it's somebody who just has the upper hand and 0:19:47.410 --> 0:19:49.850 the upper hand being you're in a room full of relatives. 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:54.100 more introverted people and you're the person brave enough and 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:57.120 loud enough to be... It's like the Elizabeth Holmes shit. 0:19:57.600 --> 0:20:03.920 You look at her and you cannot believe how... viciously, like, 0:20:04.020 --> 0:20:06.880 she stands with herself. Like, she, like, it's not even, like, 0:20:06.940 --> 0:20:09.630 and it's not, like, vicious in, like, anger, but it's, like, no, 0:20:09.650 --> 0:20:14.990 there's no removing this person from their reality, which is, like, yeah, 0:20:15.010 --> 0:20:17.170 you know what? I tried to change the world, and 0:20:17.210 --> 0:20:19.790 you guys just wouldn't let me. If you guys want 0:20:19.810 --> 0:20:20.690 to live in a hellscape, whatever. 0:20:21.690 --> 0:20:22.100 I tried. 0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:24.300 I tried. I did my best. I did my damn best. 0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:28.140 I tried. Yeah, she's fierce, but there's so many, like, 0:20:28.840 --> 0:20:33.430 failed Silicon Valley, like, Projects like that that just make 0:20:33.530 --> 0:20:38.230 me lull. I'm like, yeah, you know what? Waste your money. 0:20:38.609 --> 0:20:40.030 But then it makes me think about like you were 0:20:40.050 --> 0:20:41.810 saying the stock market. It's like the world is a 0:20:41.830 --> 0:20:45.470 stage vibes like every single news media story that Trump 0:20:45.550 --> 0:20:48.770 like pushes the agenda. It's literally to tank the stock 0:20:48.810 --> 0:20:50.949 market so he can buy low. And then once the 0:20:50.970 --> 0:20:53.459 stock market crimes that climbs back up. him and his 0:20:53.500 --> 0:20:55.600 people sell and then they take it again it's all 0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:59.570 market manipulation everything is market manipulation anything you see coming 0:20:59.680 --> 0:21:02.490 out of that fucking fat fucking lard's mouth is market 0:21:02.530 --> 0:21:05.410 manipulation he's evil he's evil well did. 0:21:05.310 --> 0:21:09.070 You see after he did the the media ban which 0:21:09.090 --> 0:21:14.310 i love he had that everybody the like reporting that no. 0:21:14.190 --> 0:21:21.530 Mics that's the first time donald trump hasn't lied on camera. 0:21:23.670 --> 0:21:28.300 Like i guess to to even hypothesize a world where 0:21:28.340 --> 0:21:34.020 he thought about that like after is really like me. 0:21:33.900 --> 0:21:36.479 But it was honestly kind of cool that um all 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:39.430 of like the right-leaning publications were like actually yeah this 0:21:39.550 --> 0:21:40.609 is really. 0:21:40.369 --> 0:21:43.850 Gnarly well it's just because it's like oh fuck it's 0:21:43.869 --> 0:21:47.260 happening it's It's like what they'll do to them, they'll 0:21:47.300 --> 0:21:49.480 do to you. And I feel like it's not even 0:21:49.580 --> 0:21:52.340 so much as them being like, this is wrong, because 0:21:52.359 --> 0:21:55.680 they would love probably nothing more than to be the 0:21:55.869 --> 0:22:00.350 only ones who have any insight into the White House 0:22:00.410 --> 0:22:03.710 because they're so leaning towards him. But it is a 0:22:03.730 --> 0:22:07.030 thing of like, oh, wait. This means that, like, this 0:22:07.109 --> 0:22:09.790 is an erratic person who does not care about the 0:22:09.850 --> 0:22:14.300 law or anything. And he's also shown time and time 0:22:14.340 --> 0:22:17.300 again that whether with or without him or, like, with 0:22:17.560 --> 0:22:20.940 or against him, he is willing to just fight. fuck 0:22:20.980 --> 0:22:22.180 you like he does not give a fuck. 0:22:22.119 --> 0:22:23.980 I just want him to twerk on my fingers I 0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:26.140 want him to like sit on my fingers and spin 0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:27.100 them like a basketball. 0:22:26.820 --> 0:22:29.060 Well I wonder if they're gonna put that chair he 0:22:29.100 --> 0:22:32.550 shitted on in England uh up for auction do you 0:22:32.570 --> 0:22:34.490 know what I'm talking about no he shitted on. 0:22:34.450 --> 0:22:36.370 That chair I know he shit on a chair but 0:22:36.530 --> 0:22:37.030 and then they. 0:22:36.910 --> 0:22:39.109 Put a black towel down when he got back to 0:22:39.150 --> 0:22:41.910 America on Good Morning America he's sitting on a black 0:22:41.930 --> 0:22:43.949 towel because it's a white couch and they didn't want 0:22:43.990 --> 0:22:44.669 him to shit on. 0:22:44.670 --> 0:22:46.840 There he had poopy butt he's like a little like 0:22:47.710 --> 0:22:50.659 incontinent dog like it's just leaking poop out of his 0:22:50.720 --> 0:22:53.280 butt all the time he is withered he is withering 0:22:53.320 --> 0:22:55.159 away also I was just looking at this plant I 0:22:55.200 --> 0:22:57.600 need someone to make a fan can of her because 0:22:57.619 --> 0:22:59.399 I feel like there isn't like there's a lot of 0:22:59.460 --> 0:23:02.179 attention on my chair but like there's not enough on 0:23:02.220 --> 0:23:03.620 this plant because like. 0:23:03.619 --> 0:23:06.179 It is a miracle that it's even still. 0:23:05.940 --> 0:23:08.920 Sprouting and alive zero light I do feed her like 0:23:09.020 --> 0:23:11.520 once every few months but like look at all her 0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:16.360 dead hair she needs a haircut she's got split ends But, like, 0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:17.880 she's been with us from the beginning. 0:23:18.280 --> 0:23:20.560 I know. She's been our only, she was our only 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:23.590 prop for a really long time. When we started, that 0:23:23.609 --> 0:23:27.010 middle table, oh, yeah, that had the Lucas statue on it. 0:23:27.450 --> 0:23:30.550 And then the middle table that was, like, that wood one, 0:23:31.070 --> 0:23:34.910 that used to be Roy's table in his first spot 0:23:34.950 --> 0:23:38.210 he lived in. So that thing really, like, and who 0:23:38.250 --> 0:23:41.990 says we're not sustainable? We'll run until the wheels fall off. 0:23:42.010 --> 0:23:53.820 Look at Drew's outfits. His one-stripe polo. There was a 0:23:53.960 --> 0:23:56.960 really long time where Drew just had one-stripe polo. 0:23:57.080 --> 0:24:00.439 See, the thing is, when I was buying this and 0:24:00.500 --> 0:24:02.820 I saw it on my body, I was like, oh, 0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:05.830 I'm going to wear this every fucking day of my life. 0:24:05.880 --> 0:24:08.330 And I was planning out my next three days. So 0:24:08.369 --> 0:24:10.969 I fly to Vegas tomorrow morning. I'm going to wear 0:24:11.050 --> 0:24:14.310 this exact outfit on the airplane. Going to go to Vegas. 0:24:14.470 --> 0:24:16.290 I've asked you this a million times, but why are 0:24:16.310 --> 0:24:17.149 you doing that to yourself? 0:24:17.550 --> 0:24:18.149 Going to Vegas? 0:24:18.210 --> 0:24:18.390 Yeah. 0:24:18.730 --> 0:24:22.290 Because my dad really wants me to go. But also, 0:24:22.430 --> 0:24:24.429 I told my mom, I was like, I'm going to 0:24:24.470 --> 0:24:28.170 bail because I went to Texas to surprise my family. 0:24:28.190 --> 0:24:29.590 And I was like, I don't need to also go 0:24:29.609 --> 0:24:34.630 to Vegas. Like, come on, guys. Went to Texas, hung out, 0:24:34.690 --> 0:24:36.889 was going to bail on Vegas. And then I got 0:24:36.930 --> 0:24:39.950 a text the morning I was supposed to leave Texas 0:24:40.270 --> 0:24:42.909 from my mom saying she left all her medicine there. 0:24:43.540 --> 0:24:46.179 um in her toiletry bag and that i need to 0:24:46.260 --> 0:24:48.220 fly it out to her but i could have overnight 0:24:48.240 --> 0:24:49.920 shipped it but i was like you know what like 0:24:50.619 --> 0:24:53.100 i'll go to vegas and. 0:24:52.980 --> 0:24:54.760 You know you should teach your mom a lesson and 0:24:54.780 --> 0:24:56.820 be like let's see how you do without that medication 0:24:56.840 --> 0:24:58.300 since it's not so important. 0:24:57.940 --> 0:25:02.380 To you going to full-blown withdrawals. 0:25:02.460 --> 0:25:05.320 Um but you think you're bigger than that. 0:25:05.020 --> 0:25:07.419 Since you think you're better exactly. 0:25:06.760 --> 0:25:08.639 That is gonna be fun though because you're gonna get 0:25:08.660 --> 0:25:09.760 to go to the dome. 0:25:09.869 --> 0:25:12.990 Well, I'm seeing Wizard of Oz in the sphere and 0:25:13.010 --> 0:25:15.030 I'm finally going to get the squishy apple that they 0:25:15.369 --> 0:25:16.189 drop from the sky. 0:25:16.210 --> 0:25:18.379 You think you're going to catch one of the apples? 0:25:18.540 --> 0:25:21.560 I actually have manifested this every single night. And if 0:25:22.080 --> 0:25:24.340 it doesn't happen, I know God is not real. I 0:25:24.880 --> 0:25:26.600 have literally talked about this goddamn apple. 0:25:26.619 --> 0:25:28.840 So God is only not real because he won't give 0:25:28.859 --> 0:25:30.260 you what you want. Yes. 0:25:30.700 --> 0:25:33.960 Yes. Actually, yeah. Yeah, that's how simple it is. 0:25:33.980 --> 0:25:35.590 I mean, honestly, most Christians be like. 0:25:35.650 --> 0:25:36.929 Yeah, that's how simple it is to me. 0:25:36.930 --> 0:25:39.750 I'm seeing gay people in my neighborhood. God must be fleeting, 0:25:39.790 --> 0:25:41.649 so we need to get rid of them so I 0:25:41.670 --> 0:25:44.030 can remember he's here. 0:25:46.190 --> 0:25:50.989 The pineapple collars lady saying I've already been. What does 0:25:51.010 --> 0:25:53.379 that mean? The pineapple collars... Why the fuck. 0:25:53.220 --> 0:25:56.260 Are you asking me? You're reading from your schizophrenic notes, 0:25:56.300 --> 0:25:56.880 not mine. 0:25:56.900 --> 0:26:00.440 The pineapple collars lady saying I've already been. 0:26:01.020 --> 0:26:05.760 Maybe you're talking about swingers? Oh, you're talking about the 0:26:05.800 --> 0:26:08.150 woman who gets interviewed all the time by that guy. 0:26:08.170 --> 0:26:08.750 Pina Colada. 0:26:09.109 --> 0:26:13.230 Pina Colada. Wait, what did she say? Pina Malala? 0:26:13.250 --> 0:26:13.609 Yeah. 0:26:14.270 --> 0:26:17.820 Oh, my God. I'm so, like, that's how I know 0:26:17.859 --> 0:26:20.220 we're connected on, like, a spiritual plane because the fact 0:26:20.260 --> 0:26:22.200 that you pulled that out of your ass for me 0:26:22.260 --> 0:26:24.100 means that we're connected in a different reality. 0:26:24.119 --> 0:26:27.280 Well, also, it's because we literally spoke about it for 0:26:27.320 --> 0:26:30.760 way too long. It's that interview with that, like, Woman, 0:26:30.900 --> 0:26:33.660 and this guy asks, what does he ask her? He's like, 0:26:33.740 --> 0:26:34.560 what do you want to be? 0:26:34.840 --> 0:26:36.380 Yeah, like something like that. 0:26:37.200 --> 0:26:38.180 Like, what do you want to be? 0:26:38.200 --> 0:26:39.149 I'm going to look it up right now. 0:26:39.160 --> 0:26:41.240 In your lifetime, and she just goes, I've already been. 0:26:41.260 --> 0:26:42.720 And that is so profound. 0:26:42.800 --> 0:26:48.110 That is so fucking real. Like, why would I wish 0:26:48.170 --> 0:26:51.230 to be when I've been? Like, I have been. I've been. 0:26:51.250 --> 0:26:54.230 I'm still here. I don't know. What do you want 0:26:54.250 --> 0:26:54.690 to be in life? 0:26:54.710 --> 0:26:56.790 I don't know. 0:26:57.790 --> 0:26:59.590 I've already been. It ain't over, though. 0:27:00.480 --> 0:27:04.220 How you know oh like that is one of the 0:27:04.260 --> 0:27:06.320 most i don't. 0:27:06.510 --> 0:27:10.790 Know you're just watching the same clip to different songs 0:27:10.930 --> 0:27:13.429 like this is really what our iphones are if you 0:27:13.470 --> 0:27:16.070 think about it we're just re-watching the same thing with 0:27:16.130 --> 0:27:17.430 different background. 0:27:17.010 --> 0:27:19.750 Music like this is different text on screen like it's 0:27:19.830 --> 0:27:22.010 low-key like about to make me tear up like because 0:27:22.070 --> 0:27:25.740 this is like Like, we live in... I'm going to 0:27:25.770 --> 0:27:27.350 psychoanalyze the fuck out of this. 0:27:27.830 --> 0:27:28.610 More, more, more. 0:27:28.670 --> 0:27:37.570 We want more, more, more, more, more, more, more. Better, better, better. Next, next, next, next. Everyone. More, more, more, more. Capitalism, capitalism, capitalism, capitalism. Baby, 0:27:37.890 --> 0:27:39.730 you have everything you need right in front of you. 0:27:42.410 --> 0:27:44.710 And that's exactly what Drew says to his one-stripe shirt. 0:27:46.910 --> 0:27:49.560 It's Zachary's disease. 0:27:50.880 --> 0:27:53.419 No, it is true. Like, guys, we don't need more. 0:27:53.480 --> 0:27:58.060 We don't need another concealer. We don't need another pair of. 0:28:00.210 --> 0:28:04.480 What do boys do? Like another pair of cards or something? 0:28:04.500 --> 0:28:06.740 I don't know. Wait, what? 0:28:06.760 --> 0:28:08.500 Playing cards? 0:28:08.560 --> 0:28:11.740 Because men have gambling addictions and stuff, so I can't 0:28:11.760 --> 0:28:16.050 really think of their compulsion to spend money is different 0:28:16.070 --> 0:28:16.590 than women's. 0:28:16.670 --> 0:28:19.770 Women don't need tampons. More tampons. Just reuse the ones 0:28:19.790 --> 0:28:20.190 you have. 0:28:20.850 --> 0:28:22.170 Just wash them and hang dry them. 0:28:22.270 --> 0:28:22.790 Exactly. 0:28:24.200 --> 0:28:25.540 Exactly. Exactly. 0:28:25.880 --> 0:28:27.659 See, the companies used to make products to last. 0:28:27.680 --> 0:28:28.920 But, yeah, women are addicted to buying, like. 0:28:29.119 --> 0:28:29.530 Tampons. 0:28:29.550 --> 0:28:32.810 Like, capitalism has fallen on women in the way that it's, like, 0:28:33.290 --> 0:28:38.070 we're really induced to, like, buy, like, clothing, accessories, just, like, common, like, 0:28:38.110 --> 0:28:42.820 the pink tax shit. But men's form of capitalism went from, like, 0:28:42.900 --> 0:28:43.820 I guess, like, what, like. 0:28:44.140 --> 0:28:45.040 Cars, maybe? 0:28:45.060 --> 0:28:47.140 I don't know, though, because, like. 0:28:47.180 --> 0:28:48.080 Like, muscle car? 0:28:48.100 --> 0:28:52.770 Most men I've dated, I have the car. Men's... like 0:28:53.210 --> 0:28:57.209 spending is all like fantasy football and like gambling and 0:28:57.330 --> 0:29:00.290 stocks it's all a lot of imaginary stuff that you 0:29:00.330 --> 0:29:03.750 get no financial like return it's kind of almost like 0:29:03.850 --> 0:29:05.810 the same thing with like porn addiction and stuff it's 0:29:05.850 --> 0:29:07.820 like yeah you're paying for like. 0:29:07.760 --> 0:29:09.760 What are you gonna gain like yeah. 0:29:09.480 --> 0:29:11.620 What are you going to gain like at least on 0:29:11.680 --> 0:29:14.960 this side of things it's like oh I like I 0:29:15.000 --> 0:29:16.830 can't stop opening my phone and there's like a new 0:29:16.870 --> 0:29:18.770 perfume or like a new thing for my hair or 0:29:18.810 --> 0:29:21.430 like a new like this. But then men is like, oh, 0:29:21.450 --> 0:29:23.690 I can't stop opening my phone. And there's new pictures 0:29:23.790 --> 0:29:26.750 of Sidney Sweeney's tits. And there's new like. 0:29:27.610 --> 0:29:29.890 I don't know, like. 0:29:29.490 --> 0:29:32.090 3D porn I can get. Like, I don't fucking know. 0:29:32.110 --> 0:29:36.090 It's literally all so it's nothing is real. Like nothing 0:29:36.150 --> 0:29:38.370 is tangible. And then you go in these guys' houses 0:29:38.430 --> 0:29:39.970 and they don't have stuff at all. 0:29:40.100 --> 0:29:42.940 All like I mean yeah literally but that's the best 0:29:42.980 --> 0:29:45.900 dick of your life I'll tell you right now They 0:29:45.920 --> 0:29:46.780 don't have furniture in their room. 0:29:46.800 --> 0:29:49.000 Empty fridge dick is going to, like, it's going to. 0:29:49.000 --> 0:29:50.780 Fill you up. That's why the fridge can. 0:29:50.680 --> 0:29:55.360 Be empty because you'll be filled in different ways. Like, 0:29:55.380 --> 0:29:59.550 you will be filled in other ways. But, no, there's, like, 0:29:59.610 --> 0:30:02.630 nothing in there. But, no, I'm talking about the apartments, like, 0:30:02.650 --> 0:30:04.850 of guys. It's not just, like, an empty fridge because, like, 0:30:04.890 --> 0:30:09.500 we can suffer from empty fridge syndrome, too. I mean more, like, 0:30:10.920 --> 0:30:13.680 this person has never owned a carpet, let alone a mat. 0:30:14.360 --> 0:30:15.420 Like a like a bath. 0:30:15.480 --> 0:30:17.520 They're sitting on outdoor furniture. 0:30:17.580 --> 0:30:20.420 Like this motherfucker gets out of the shower and just 0:30:20.460 --> 0:30:25.070 like playing in puddles. That's why his feet stink because 0:30:25.090 --> 0:30:28.410 he has mildew feet because he's like his feet never 0:30:28.470 --> 0:30:32.520 get dry before he puts socks on. And then girls 0:30:32.600 --> 0:30:35.960 are like. overly forced to have like 18 different towel 0:30:36.000 --> 0:30:38.000 components to dry different areas. 0:30:37.800 --> 0:30:40.340 Oh you know what i decided bacteria i decided i'm 0:30:40.660 --> 0:30:44.490 gonna like invest in like a million towels like i 0:30:44.650 --> 0:30:48.970 was at my parents and i'm being dead serious too 0:30:49.450 --> 0:30:50.670 i went to my parents. 0:30:50.450 --> 0:30:52.970 House owner of a hotel. 0:30:52.670 --> 0:30:56.270 You know what i was doing I went to my parents' house, 0:30:56.630 --> 0:30:59.790 and they had about 10,000 towels, like, in their cupboard, 0:30:59.830 --> 0:31:01.709 and I was like, wait, this is badass. 0:31:01.730 --> 0:31:05.840 You said 10,000 towels would take to a million, baby. 0:31:05.880 --> 0:31:07.960 Y'all think you're bigger than me because you have so 0:31:07.980 --> 0:31:08.840 many fucking towels. 0:31:08.960 --> 0:31:11.700 I'm investing in towels, guys. Like, nice towels, too, because 0:31:11.760 --> 0:31:15.560 I have, like, my, like, decorative towels that I never 0:31:15.640 --> 0:31:18.200 touch or use, which is, like, pointless. Really weird. Because 0:31:18.290 --> 0:31:19.450 it's hard to, like, fold them. 0:31:19.470 --> 0:31:20.090 It's really weird. 0:31:20.330 --> 0:31:22.020 And then I have the two towels I use. 0:31:22.050 --> 0:31:25.370 Like, I hate that when I'm in the bathroom, I'm like... Oh, fuck. 0:31:25.430 --> 0:31:27.540 If I touch his towel, I'm going to ruin his life. 0:31:27.560 --> 0:31:29.440 Because he's going to come in here and see some 0:31:29.480 --> 0:31:31.740 of the pile of texture and fabric. 0:31:32.000 --> 0:31:32.560 And I did. 0:31:32.620 --> 0:31:34.820 Like, wet down, like, patted down on the towel. 0:31:34.840 --> 0:31:37.219 When you snuck in my room, I know you, one, 0:31:37.240 --> 0:31:39.090 you grabbed a toilet paper roll from my room. And 0:31:39.120 --> 0:31:42.920 I noticed that. I knew that. We saw that. Because 0:31:43.020 --> 0:31:43.720 I fucked. 0:31:43.660 --> 0:31:46.220 Up and I just used the rest of the toilet 0:31:46.240 --> 0:31:47.880 paper and you weren't gone long enough for me to 0:31:47.920 --> 0:31:49.540 get more toilet paper and replace it. And I was 0:31:49.560 --> 0:31:50.820 sitting in the bathroom and I was like, damn, he 0:31:50.860 --> 0:31:52.800 just has no toilet paper. And I know he knows 0:31:52.820 --> 0:31:55.540 what he left. He had toilet paper. How do you 0:31:55.560 --> 0:31:57.850 go from having a full ass roll to you come 0:31:57.890 --> 0:31:58.870 back and it's empty? 0:31:59.010 --> 0:31:59.750 It's empty. 0:31:59.830 --> 0:32:02.430 I didn't even leave a roll or anything. 0:32:02.450 --> 0:32:03.930 No, you took everything. 0:32:03.990 --> 0:32:05.010 Just the bone was there. 0:32:05.030 --> 0:32:08.690 You took all my candy. You took all my toilet paper, 0:32:08.810 --> 0:32:09.270 and then you. 0:32:09.210 --> 0:32:10.590 Scrumbled up my towels. And I was in there looking 0:32:10.610 --> 0:32:12.430 for a vape or something, too, at one point, because 0:32:12.470 --> 0:32:14.220 I was like, he's got to have extra. 0:32:15.800 --> 0:32:17.160 Yeah, took my shit. 0:32:17.760 --> 0:32:19.980 That reminds me, one time my dad said this, and 0:32:20.040 --> 0:32:22.000 I never told y'all, but, like, this was just, like, 0:32:22.040 --> 0:32:26.000 a random off, like, shoot comment he made out of nowhere. 0:32:26.040 --> 0:32:27.760 He goes, do you have cameras in the house? And 0:32:27.780 --> 0:32:29.280 I was like, what? And he was like, do you 0:32:29.320 --> 0:32:31.380 have cameras in the house? And I was like, why 0:32:31.400 --> 0:32:32.719 would I have cameras in the house? And he was like, 0:32:33.020 --> 0:32:36.050 you never know. Like, what if, like, Drew or Josh, like, 0:32:36.620 --> 0:32:38.270 goes and takes stuff from you and I was like 0:32:38.290 --> 0:32:40.210 dad what and he was like he was like I 0:32:40.250 --> 0:32:41.630 don't know and he was like and I know you're 0:32:41.650 --> 0:32:43.730 close to them I'm not saying I don't think they would. 0:32:43.700 --> 0:32:47.280 Ever but like Classic case of like. 0:32:47.430 --> 0:32:49.540 I was like, dude, I'm not putting a fucking camera 0:32:49.620 --> 0:32:50.300 in my room. 0:32:50.320 --> 0:32:54.380 Classic case of parents like being like, I just think 0:32:54.400 --> 0:32:56.800 they're a bad influence on you. Meanwhile, I'm the bad 0:32:57.000 --> 0:32:59.840 influence the whole time. You're the ones taking shit from 0:32:59.880 --> 0:33:00.220 my room. 0:33:00.240 --> 0:33:02.640 I'm the one sneaking around. I'm the one sneaking around. 0:33:02.660 --> 0:33:03.860 You're going in my room. 0:33:03.900 --> 0:33:05.580 I'm the one crawling around the house when I'm here 0:33:05.640 --> 0:33:07.840 alone and I lock every door as if somebody's going 0:33:07.860 --> 0:33:08.900 to come in and stab. 0:33:08.700 --> 0:33:11.500 Me 18,000 times. Oh, me too. Me fucking too. 0:33:11.580 --> 0:33:13.220 Like one thing, don't put a bolt on a door 0:33:13.240 --> 0:33:15.120 because I will be hitting it. Like I will be 0:33:15.180 --> 0:33:15.660 using that bolt. 0:33:16.540 --> 0:33:19.410 If there's more yeah literally yeah period. 0:33:19.030 --> 0:33:20.870 Because even if they could break through the glass and 0:33:20.950 --> 0:33:23.500 wood that gives you more time to hear the sounds 0:33:23.860 --> 0:33:26.800 and hide bitch I'm hiding I'm not fighting the fuck. 0:33:26.800 --> 0:33:28.970 Yeah I'm getting killed Like if someone breaks in, like 0:33:29.090 --> 0:33:30.070 I've literally had nights. 0:33:30.090 --> 0:33:32.110 I'm hiding in a drawer. I'm literally getting in a 0:33:32.130 --> 0:33:32.790 fucking drawer. 0:33:32.990 --> 0:33:38.020 I've had nights where I have been laying in bed alone. 0:33:38.360 --> 0:33:41.480 I've been laying in bed alone and the house is 0:33:41.580 --> 0:33:44.800 empty and I hear sounds. I have like maybe like 0:33:44.940 --> 0:33:47.910 three minutes of like pure panic where I'm like someone's 0:33:47.950 --> 0:33:50.270 in the house and they're snooping around. And then I'm like, 0:33:50.310 --> 0:33:53.670 you know what? They're going to get me anyway, so 0:33:53.710 --> 0:33:55.680 I'm just going to. go to sleep and wake up 0:33:55.740 --> 0:33:58.959 stabbed to death like yeah I'm like I'm okay I'm 0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:01.640 okay dying I've led a great life I'm not gonna 0:34:01.700 --> 0:34:03.760 fight I'm not gonna be scared I wanna go to 0:34:03.820 --> 0:34:05.700 sleep and if I never wake up that's okay I 0:34:05.740 --> 0:34:07.420 won't know oh. 0:34:06.840 --> 0:34:10.920 It just depends though like if I knew I was 0:34:10.960 --> 0:34:13.239 for real gonna die I'd kill myself first of course 0:34:13.260 --> 0:34:15.700 I'm not letting you get the satisfaction bitch you either 0:34:15.719 --> 0:34:16.930 kill yourself or get killed and then you're still gonna 0:34:16.950 --> 0:34:19.670 go to jail for murder you dummy bitch because they're 0:34:19.690 --> 0:34:21.190 gonna be like this makes no sense why the fuck 0:34:21.230 --> 0:34:22.969 would you break into her house and then she kills 0:34:22.989 --> 0:34:31.330 herself And I'm going to be loud too. So the 0:34:31.370 --> 0:34:34.950 neighbors can be like, well, I did hear screaming. He's 0:34:35.150 --> 0:34:45.860 stabbing me with a knife. Like, yeah, bitch, you're going 0:34:45.880 --> 0:34:47.480 to jail for the rest of your life. 0:34:48.180 --> 0:34:49.520 And you have to out crazy. 0:34:49.540 --> 0:34:50.620 You weren't even going to kill me. 0:34:51.180 --> 0:34:53.640 Well, anytime I've ever broken into someone's house to kill 0:34:53.660 --> 0:34:55.919 them and they killed themselves in front of me, it's 0:34:56.120 --> 0:34:58.940 like they've started stabbing themselves. I walk away. I'm like, 0:34:58.980 --> 0:34:59.680 you're crazy. 0:34:59.739 --> 0:35:00.489 No harm, no foul. 0:35:00.620 --> 0:35:02.710 No harm, no foul. Remember when I actually had like 0:35:02.790 --> 0:35:08.850 pure panic when they started actually finding bodies at Central 0:35:08.910 --> 0:35:10.670 Park and I thought they were going to pin it 0:35:10.750 --> 0:35:15.649 on me. Because for reference, I've like claimed that I've 0:35:15.690 --> 0:35:18.730 buried like 10 bodies at Central Park by the big rock. 0:35:19.670 --> 0:35:21.469 And they started finding bodies and I was like, this 0:35:21.530 --> 0:35:23.509 is going to get back to me. And I don't 0:35:23.550 --> 0:35:24.360 have alibis. 0:35:25.880 --> 0:35:28.120 No, and I never have an alibi. They're like, what 0:35:28.140 --> 0:35:29.600 were you doing? I was like, I was at home. 0:35:29.780 --> 0:35:31.240 No, I was literally home alone. 0:35:31.480 --> 0:35:34.220 Yeah, I was home alone. Oh, did you see anybody? 0:35:34.340 --> 0:35:34.600 No. 0:35:34.880 --> 0:35:37.080 Did you talk to anybody on the phone? No. 0:35:39.680 --> 0:35:44.140 Yeah. They're taking the garbage. I slayed out this morning, 0:35:44.160 --> 0:35:44.620 by the way. 0:35:44.660 --> 0:35:45.420 Yeah, you did eat. 0:35:45.960 --> 0:35:48.650 Like, the trash cans were full. They took the The 0:35:48.690 --> 0:35:51.880 grass can and the trash can, but left the recycling 0:35:51.920 --> 0:35:54.100 and I ran outside and put all of our recycling 0:35:54.280 --> 0:35:56.560 in the garbage can and they're taking it right now. 0:35:56.660 --> 0:36:01.169 So we have literally no garbage in the house. Literally 0:36:01.290 --> 0:36:05.080 no garbage. Which is like the first time in a 0:36:05.120 --> 0:36:05.739 long time. 0:36:07.219 --> 0:36:10.030 Dude, I don't know how we make so much garbage, man. Like, 0:36:10.200 --> 0:36:11.120 we literally. 0:36:11.140 --> 0:36:13.770 Well, it's because we have 10,000 people at our house 0:36:13.870 --> 0:36:14.830 a week, like friends. 0:36:14.890 --> 0:36:17.210 Yeah, true. And they all like to come here and 0:36:17.230 --> 0:36:19.690 then order their food here. And it's just like, oh, no, no, no, 0:36:19.730 --> 0:36:20.190 I'll take it. 0:36:20.270 --> 0:36:20.710 Yeah. 0:36:20.770 --> 0:36:21.310 I'll take that. 0:36:21.530 --> 0:36:23.250 No, I'll take the garbage. 0:36:23.310 --> 0:36:25.870 No, I actually have a huge garbage can. I'm like. 0:36:26.330 --> 0:36:28.750 Everyone on the block knows I like hosts, so they 0:36:28.770 --> 0:36:31.210 gave me a huge garbage can. Can you believe you 0:36:31.230 --> 0:36:33.390 have to buy another garbage can if you want more space? 0:36:33.410 --> 0:36:33.830 It's crazy. 0:36:33.890 --> 0:36:35.770 If you want more space. I guess that makes sense. 0:36:35.850 --> 0:36:38.410 We need our garbage cans cleaned down. 0:36:38.790 --> 0:36:41.290 Do they stink like shit in my ass? 0:36:41.630 --> 0:36:43.890 Well, it's because when we don't pick them up. 0:36:46.690 --> 0:36:49.480 It wasn't the shit in my ass. 0:36:49.969 --> 0:36:52.470 When we don't pick them up immediately, the dog walkers 0:36:52.510 --> 0:36:54.339 throw all their dog shit in the bottom and then 0:36:54.380 --> 0:36:55.430 it melts in the heat. 0:36:56.100 --> 0:36:56.420 Bitch. 0:36:56.860 --> 0:36:58.739 One thing about me is when I'm outside and I 0:36:58.780 --> 0:37:00.660 see a dog walker, I get to talking about the 0:37:00.719 --> 0:37:02.779 shit that gets left on my fucking car. I'm like, 0:37:02.840 --> 0:37:03.540 and they keep. 0:37:03.420 --> 0:37:05.080 Shitting on my yard. I'll pretend I'm on the phone. 0:37:05.120 --> 0:37:07.259 I'll pretend I'm on the phone. Especially when I see 0:37:07.280 --> 0:37:09.950 the parking attendant. Oh, bitch. I'll, like, cuss out the 0:37:09.989 --> 0:37:12.390 parking attendant, like, quietly, like, across the street so he 0:37:12.430 --> 0:37:13.330 doesn't actually hear me. 0:37:13.350 --> 0:37:14.390 Pussy asshole. 0:37:14.430 --> 0:37:15.590 No, I'm bitch made. 0:37:15.950 --> 0:37:17.830 Oh, yeah. I'll curse them out under my breath across 0:37:17.870 --> 0:37:19.650 the street when they hear me. 0:37:20.010 --> 0:37:23.220 But I'm like this motherfucker, lowlife loser bitch. Like, leave 0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:23.480 us alone. 0:37:23.520 --> 0:37:24.010 You're like, huh? 0:37:25.170 --> 0:37:27.879 Hey, I love the work you do. 0:37:29.080 --> 0:37:30.040 I'm a big fan. 0:37:30.060 --> 0:37:31.759 I'm a big fan of your work. 0:37:31.860 --> 0:37:36.000 Actually, I'm pretty sure the ticketing agency, whatever the fuck 0:37:36.040 --> 0:37:38.480 their loser asses are called, LaDot. 0:37:39.239 --> 0:37:39.719 LaDot? 0:37:39.760 --> 0:37:44.989 LaDot. They are getting sued because they passed out. I 0:37:45.030 --> 0:37:47.730 think it was, this might be wrong. But I'm pretty 0:37:47.770 --> 0:37:51.170 sure it was over a million dollars worth of tickets 0:37:51.330 --> 0:37:55.820 for street cleaning because actually they only do street cleaning 0:37:55.980 --> 0:38:00.660 twice a month. So those off weeks where they give 0:38:00.700 --> 0:38:05.880 street cleaning, those are not like valid tickets. So I'm like, oh. 0:38:06.700 --> 0:38:08.000 Oh, hell. 0:38:08.120 --> 0:38:10.360 So my car got towed because of you. 0:38:11.540 --> 0:38:13.779 And not because of you. And not because of you 0:38:13.900 --> 0:38:14.299 at all. 0:38:14.739 --> 0:38:15.980 Wait, wait. 0:38:16.480 --> 0:38:17.640 Like, not your fault at all. 0:38:17.680 --> 0:38:20.080 I'm not updating my registration. I don't give a fuck. 0:38:20.920 --> 0:38:24.540 Take me to jail, bitch. Fuck you. I fucking hate 0:38:24.600 --> 0:38:26.600 the semantics of the car shit. You're going to make 0:38:26.640 --> 0:38:30.120 it a car society, but then it's literally... What is it? 0:38:30.680 --> 0:38:31.359 Semantics. 0:38:32.239 --> 0:38:34.609 Semantics. I hate the autosemantics. 0:38:35.290 --> 0:38:36.950 Obviously, we hate the semantics. 0:38:37.010 --> 0:38:41.430 I don't want to get into semantics. 0:38:41.969 --> 0:38:44.710 And it will come to fruit-tition. Period. 0:38:46.020 --> 0:38:46.400 Obviously. 0:38:46.800 --> 0:38:49.590 Like, I hate that they make you fucking jump through 0:38:49.630 --> 0:38:50.850 hoops to have a car. 0:38:50.969 --> 0:38:52.280 Like, seriously, guys. 0:38:52.520 --> 0:38:53.180 Seriously. 0:38:53.200 --> 0:38:55.310 The bureaucracy of it all. 0:38:55.739 --> 0:38:57.879 Just for me to get hit by somebody who's, like, 0:38:57.980 --> 0:39:02.040 sucking down, like, NOS gas and doing 80 miles an. 0:39:02.020 --> 0:39:04.900 Hour on Twitch stream. Cutting up. 0:39:04.980 --> 0:39:07.779 Cutting through traffic and fucking killing me. 0:39:07.800 --> 0:39:09.500 Wait, that is the way. 0:39:09.520 --> 0:39:13.800 She should have even been driving her car. The registration was, like, fuck, 0:39:13.880 --> 0:39:14.560 I guess. 0:39:14.600 --> 0:39:17.549 You got me. You got me. That is how you're 0:39:17.570 --> 0:39:17.989 going to, no. 0:39:19.670 --> 0:39:20.430 Fuck. 0:39:20.510 --> 0:39:20.810 No. 0:39:21.670 --> 0:39:23.489 Now it's going to be oncoming, so you're going to. 0:39:23.469 --> 0:39:29.020 See me, like, You wouldn't scream. You wouldn't scream. 0:39:29.080 --> 0:39:31.580 No, I wouldn't. I would be like... You'd be like, bro, 0:39:31.620 --> 0:39:31.959 for real. 0:39:32.000 --> 0:39:36.149 Like, for real. Like, I would be driving and be like. 0:39:37.710 --> 0:39:39.090 It's like. 0:39:40.250 --> 0:39:40.850 Bitch, what? 0:39:40.870 --> 0:39:41.029 Like. 0:39:43.700 --> 0:39:46.529 Well, when people hurt my feelings, I pray that I 0:39:46.570 --> 0:39:48.910 disappear or die after so they will feel bad forever. 0:39:48.989 --> 0:39:50.870 Well, hurt people hurt people. 0:39:51.230 --> 0:39:53.610 When I was younger and, like, my parents hurt my feelings, 0:39:53.630 --> 0:39:56.700 I would be like, oh, I hope I get killed tonight. Like, 0:39:56.780 --> 0:39:57.940 I pray I die tonight. 0:39:57.980 --> 0:40:00.080 Wait, we kind of need to talk about how badly 0:40:00.100 --> 0:40:03.160 this time last year, a little earlier, you wanted to 0:40:03.219 --> 0:40:06.549 do a fake funeral and actually killed yourself. 0:40:09.820 --> 0:40:11.339 And I was, like, planning it. 0:40:11.500 --> 0:40:12.960 And, like, I know we all had to be like, Drew, 0:40:13.000 --> 0:40:16.060 you can't do that. He was like, I'm so bothered, though. Like, 0:40:16.160 --> 0:40:19.400 I literally am just gonna, like... Like, I'm not even bothered. 0:40:19.440 --> 0:40:22.000 He just thought it would be so funny to be like, okay, well, fine. 0:40:22.060 --> 0:40:22.960 What if I kill myself? 0:40:23.180 --> 0:40:25.540 And what if I did kill myself? And then I 0:40:25.580 --> 0:40:28.340 wanted it to be a secret with just our friends. 0:40:28.550 --> 0:40:30.830 And if y'all betrayed me, I would never talk to 0:40:30.850 --> 0:40:31.089 you again. 0:40:31.130 --> 0:40:33.489 Yeah, he was, like, trying to ask me if he could... Like, 0:40:33.530 --> 0:40:35.890 he was like, oh, do you think, like, Devin would 0:40:35.930 --> 0:40:39.150 come to my fake funeral? And I'm like... definitely carlson 0:40:39.210 --> 0:40:40.690 is not going to your fake. 0:40:40.489 --> 0:40:42.310 Funeral no she wouldn't she would think it was real 0:40:42.530 --> 0:40:44.450 they would all everyone else but like. 0:40:44.380 --> 0:40:49.360 My immediate family traumatize everyone we know yes yes yeah that's. 0:40:49.200 --> 0:40:51.780 The point yeah yeah i wanted a fake. 0:40:51.460 --> 0:40:53.200 Grieving grieving makes the heart grow. 0:40:53.040 --> 0:40:55.200 Fonder exactly and like it would make because then. 0:40:55.140 --> 0:40:57.050 Everybody's like damn i wish i wasn't so mean to 0:40:57.070 --> 0:40:58.230 him while he's right here. 0:40:58.570 --> 0:41:01.509 And also let's think about and then i appear the 0:41:01.570 --> 0:41:03.549 next week like it was genius it was it was 0:41:03.730 --> 0:41:07.089 literally genius I fake my death. One, I've always wanted 0:41:07.110 --> 0:41:08.590 to know who would show up to my funeral. I 0:41:08.640 --> 0:41:10.520 would actually get to know who showed up to my funeral. 0:41:10.540 --> 0:41:13.239 I guess you have had a fascination with like your 0:41:13.340 --> 0:41:13.800 own funeral. 0:41:13.840 --> 0:41:16.299 Yeah. And then two, I would appear the next week. 0:41:16.420 --> 0:41:21.089 It would be international news. Not national. It'd be international. 0:41:21.390 --> 0:41:23.550 Drew Phillips rises from the dead. 0:41:23.630 --> 0:41:26.710 In an attempt to spiral national attention. 0:41:26.850 --> 0:41:28.850 Exactly. And it would. It would. 0:41:28.870 --> 0:41:30.830 Oh, my God. Do you think it would trend? 0:41:32.270 --> 0:41:33.049 Not anymore, babe. 0:41:33.070 --> 0:41:33.180 Yeah. 0:41:34.620 --> 0:41:38.410 Then, yes. Now, no. No one cares. 0:41:41.210 --> 0:41:43.609 Now it's like the midterms. It's like they all know 0:41:43.670 --> 0:41:46.630 about it, but they don't really care. 0:41:46.670 --> 0:41:50.110 But yeah, I would just pray I would die when 0:41:50.750 --> 0:41:51.990 people hurt my feelings. 0:41:52.010 --> 0:41:54.770 I would just pray I would die. 0:41:54.790 --> 0:41:58.040 I just think like it's just like, oh, and you 0:41:58.060 --> 0:41:59.500 have to live with that forever. 0:42:00.140 --> 0:42:03.299 I've never thought like that. I've never had that message. 0:42:04.700 --> 0:42:05.830 Someone relates. 0:42:06.530 --> 0:42:11.469 Who can't relate? I don't want to be in love. 0:42:11.570 --> 0:42:14.410 And they didn't, like, get to apologize or anything. And 0:42:14.430 --> 0:42:17.210 they'll be, like, crying over my casket because I will be. 0:42:17.410 --> 0:42:18.650 You're going to be in the casket? 0:42:18.710 --> 0:42:22.450 No, I'm going to be outside. I spit everywhere. I'm 0:42:22.469 --> 0:42:24.350 going to be out. Look at the stain on your shorts. 0:42:24.430 --> 0:42:24.960 I spit on you. 0:42:25.130 --> 0:42:27.640 Oh, my God. You literally did. 0:42:28.960 --> 0:42:32.600 I would be outside of the casket standing or floating 0:42:32.640 --> 0:42:33.040 like pink. 0:42:36.250 --> 0:42:40.650 I can't believe Lady Gaga jumped into the stadium. 0:42:40.830 --> 0:42:43.330 Oh, my God. I saw a Gaga music video the 0:42:43.390 --> 0:42:47.440 other day. It was like when she was like the 0:42:47.580 --> 0:42:51.000 Apple Barbie when they were like shot all on iPhone 0:42:51.000 --> 0:42:53.859 13 or iPhone 12. Bitch, y'all should not have done that. 0:42:54.330 --> 0:42:56.430 Y'all should not have done that. The video is one 0:42:56.450 --> 0:42:58.890 of the worst things I've ever seen. I don't think 0:42:59.150 --> 0:43:01.370 I've seen this. You've seen it. When it came out, 0:43:01.430 --> 0:43:04.630 I was like, wait, this is so lit. Like, what 0:43:04.670 --> 0:43:08.350 the fuck? It has not aged well at all. It's 0:43:08.370 --> 0:43:10.239 like her dancing in outer space. 0:43:10.860 --> 0:43:12.680 That's kind of like a lot of things. That's like, 0:43:12.760 --> 0:43:15.219 what's the one Ariana Grande video where she's also like 0:43:15.260 --> 0:43:17.520 in space and stuff? I think Lady. 0:43:17.080 --> 0:43:19.239 Gaga is in that. Everybody's in space. After Head Rush, 0:43:19.460 --> 0:43:22.680 everybody want to be in space. Like, what the hell? 0:43:23.900 --> 0:43:24.920 You're so.... 0:43:26.290 --> 0:43:26.670 Wait. 0:43:27.219 --> 0:43:28.839 Because we're now in space. 0:43:29.640 --> 0:43:34.140 Wait, Apple. I guess it was iPhone 14. Stupid love. 0:43:34.460 --> 0:43:35.280 Let me see the video. 0:43:35.820 --> 0:43:36.100 Yes. 0:43:36.440 --> 0:43:38.940 Look how bad this looks. Like, it's not even, like, 0:43:39.000 --> 0:43:43.300 camp bad. It's just, like, the little squares that pop 0:43:43.390 --> 0:43:44.180 up crack me up. 0:43:47.090 --> 0:43:49.430 Wait, this is chromocopia? Yeah. 0:43:50.850 --> 0:43:56.010 Is it not crazy? Like, it's insane. Like, the costumes 0:43:56.130 --> 0:43:57.330 look like they're made out of foam. 0:43:57.350 --> 0:43:59.330 You know what kind of reminds me of? Is for 0:43:59.430 --> 0:44:02.569 one of your videos where you're shooting Josie at the 0:44:02.610 --> 0:44:04.170 green screen from upstairs. 0:44:04.210 --> 0:44:04.310 Yes. 0:44:04.390 --> 0:44:07.410 For his little music video where he's flying around. 0:44:07.450 --> 0:44:11.300 Literally, yes. Like, what the hell? 0:44:12.380 --> 0:44:16.900 Oh, my God. Josie's coming over tonight. Hey. Way to 0:44:16.920 --> 0:44:19.219 play Roblox. We got to find a new game. New 0:44:19.260 --> 0:44:23.460 Roblox game. Mm-hmm. Animal hospitals kind of ran through. I'm 0:44:23.600 --> 0:44:25.460 over it. I don't want to save the animals. They're 0:44:25.480 --> 0:44:28.090 pissing me off. I don't care about the anomalies or 0:44:28.120 --> 0:44:30.130 pet hospital or whatever the fuck it's called. I just 0:44:30.150 --> 0:44:31.670 don't call it pet hospital because I don't see them 0:44:31.710 --> 0:44:32.890 as pets. Those are animals. 0:44:32.910 --> 0:44:33.489 Yeah, those are animals. 0:44:33.530 --> 0:44:34.910 They're animals before they're pets. 0:44:35.030 --> 0:44:37.049 You fucking animals. 0:44:37.250 --> 0:44:38.910 What is that? 0:44:38.930 --> 0:44:42.460 The liberal or the red girl like screaming at liberal people. 0:44:42.900 --> 0:44:44.360 You fucking animals. 0:44:45.400 --> 0:44:48.190 I need to see that. You know what also needs 0:44:48.210 --> 0:44:49.350 to be shouted out right now? 0:44:49.370 --> 0:44:50.670 Fucking animals. 0:44:50.750 --> 0:44:52.770 You fucking animals. 0:44:53.090 --> 0:44:53.610 Liberal. 0:44:54.230 --> 0:44:57.850 How about this? To stand up for justice! To stand 0:44:57.969 --> 0:45:01.130 up for justice! To stand up for America! To stand 0:45:01.250 --> 0:45:05.930 up for America! Trump is not a legitimate president! Trump 0:45:06.030 --> 0:45:10.920 is not a legitimate president! Trump is not America! Trump 0:45:11.020 --> 0:45:14.600 is not America! We love America! 0:45:14.660 --> 0:45:17.939 We love America! Is that Fiona Apple? 0:45:18.880 --> 0:45:25.070 That's Olivia Wilde. Oh. Honestly, similar, like, archetypes. 0:45:25.489 --> 0:45:25.850 Right? 0:45:26.310 --> 0:45:30.140 Did you see The Invite? Mm-mm. I actually really liked it. 0:45:30.890 --> 0:45:33.030 I think she was so good in it, she terrified 0:45:33.070 --> 0:45:35.400 the fuck out of me, and I don't know if 0:45:35.460 --> 0:45:39.260 that comes from a place where she was once that woman, 0:45:39.280 --> 0:45:44.520 or she's witnessed that woman she was playing, but... If 0:45:44.680 --> 0:45:47.239 that woman broke into my house, that is the one 0:45:47.260 --> 0:45:50.180 time I will shoot. Like, the character she was playing, 0:45:50.219 --> 0:45:53.620 not her. Trump is not America. 0:45:53.700 --> 0:45:54.880 Trump is not America. 0:45:54.900 --> 0:45:58.020 We love America. Like, jeez. 0:45:58.060 --> 0:45:59.090 Heart is in the right place. 0:45:59.989 --> 0:46:02.210 No, she kind of ate. Because we do love America, 0:46:02.390 --> 0:46:06.790 but Trump is not America. And America has had its flaws. But, like, guys, 0:46:07.710 --> 0:46:09.790 what other country would we all be sitting here together? 0:46:09.830 --> 0:46:14.950 What other country would their podcast? Where we would have 0:46:14.989 --> 0:46:23.739 a podcast. Wait, look up you fucking animals on TikTok. 0:46:23.860 --> 0:46:25.320 You fucking animals. 0:46:26.540 --> 0:46:28.580 You're doing it in like a Bjork accent. 0:46:28.739 --> 0:46:29.739 She sounds like it. 0:46:31.180 --> 0:46:39.660 Fucking animals. You liberal, aggressive, deranged fucking animals. 0:46:39.800 --> 0:46:41.100 Save this and send it to her. 0:46:41.620 --> 0:46:42.500 Wait, I literally. 0:46:43.550 --> 0:46:46.040 Inya's back from clearing her throat. 0:46:47.060 --> 0:46:49.759 I need to stop smoking so much. It's getting nasty, bro. 0:46:51.360 --> 0:46:57.120 Well, so we all know Inya's getting an IUD. 0:46:59.920 --> 0:47:01.470 Oh my gosh, I missed my appointment. 0:47:01.890 --> 0:47:04.350 Yeah, I'm going to take your IUD out and sell 0:47:04.390 --> 0:47:04.950 it for copper. 0:47:06.130 --> 0:47:07.130 I'm not getting a copper one. 0:47:07.550 --> 0:47:08.170 What are you getting? 0:47:08.590 --> 0:47:10.310 I'm pretty sure the copper one is the scary one 0:47:10.410 --> 0:47:10.930 or am I tripping? 0:47:11.210 --> 0:47:14.279 I have no idea. I just wanted to say that 0:47:14.920 --> 0:47:15.660 we can cut all that. 0:47:16.110 --> 0:47:19.290 You're so stupid. No, I refuse to go and get 0:47:19.330 --> 0:47:23.250 that IUD unless I have like a painkiller on me because. 0:47:24.210 --> 0:47:24.890 You're not doing that. 0:47:25.310 --> 0:47:28.379 Now everybody posts about that shit. Like it's literally he's 0:47:28.410 --> 0:47:31.939 digging in me. He's digging in me. And like pap 0:47:31.960 --> 0:47:34.380 smears and shit don't feel fucking good, bro. 0:47:34.400 --> 0:47:37.240 Is the same skin inside of a vagina the same 0:47:37.300 --> 0:47:39.560 skin inside of a colon? Do we know this? 0:47:45.790 --> 0:47:46.150 I don't. 0:47:46.710 --> 0:47:49.279 Okay, I'm just, I'm curious. Do we know this? Is 0:47:49.300 --> 0:47:54.500 this a thing? Let me ask Google. Is the skin 0:47:54.520 --> 0:48:00.779 inside of a vagina the same skin inside of a colon? No, 0:48:00.820 --> 0:48:05.450 the tissue lining. The inside of vagina is not the 0:48:05.489 --> 0:48:08.009 same tissue lining the colon. Okay, never mind. 0:48:08.030 --> 0:48:09.090 Yeah, I bet you thought. 0:48:09.110 --> 0:48:11.070 Well, I was just going to say because. 0:48:11.610 --> 0:48:12.969 That butt don't compare. 0:48:13.170 --> 0:48:13.970 The butt don't compare. 0:48:13.989 --> 0:48:15.140 That butt does not compare. 0:48:16.400 --> 0:48:17.240 Well, I'm a top. 0:48:22.540 --> 0:48:28.739 Me when I'm the Tupperware. And you're the top. Oh, Drew. 0:48:29.870 --> 0:48:30.009 Hmm. 0:48:30.850 --> 0:48:32.350 Can I see the bottom of your socks? 0:48:32.370 --> 0:48:34.870 No, that's why they're over here. That's why they're over here. 0:48:34.950 --> 0:48:36.890 And that's not my fault that our floors are dirty. 0:48:37.469 --> 0:48:38.350 It's not my fault. 0:48:42.730 --> 0:48:44.149 The what? Is it our fault? The fuck? 0:48:44.570 --> 0:48:45.050 Yes. 0:48:45.469 --> 0:48:50.730 Yes. It's not my fault my ass is dirty. It's 0:48:50.770 --> 0:48:54.640 not my fault my ass is dirty. Poop just keeps 0:48:54.660 --> 0:48:57.239 coming out of it. What are you reading so intently? 0:48:57.400 --> 0:48:59.600 I'm trying to figure out what I was saying, but 0:48:59.640 --> 0:49:02.970 I just put it together. I wrote whoever invented infinite 0:49:03.030 --> 0:49:06.990 squirrel on Instagram. Don't know what that is, but infinite squirrel. 0:49:07.810 --> 0:49:11.259 But whoever invented infinite scroll, I think, is actually the 0:49:11.280 --> 0:49:13.140 worst person in the world. And they had it's like 0:49:13.219 --> 0:49:16.319 building the Oppenheimer building the nuke like he had no 0:49:16.390 --> 0:49:18.430 idea what the fuck he was doing. But the fact 0:49:18.469 --> 0:49:22.240 that we can scroll infinitely fast. on our phones is 0:49:22.260 --> 0:49:27.489 so bad like when Instagram would end That was lit. 0:49:27.739 --> 0:49:29.580 I know. I was talking to Ryan about that the 0:49:29.600 --> 0:49:31.520 other day. Like, damn, I can't believe it would just 0:49:31.540 --> 0:49:34.719 be like, okay, Twitter is done for today. Nobody's posted anything. Or, like, 0:49:35.100 --> 0:49:37.700 even Vine or, like, all these applications. I feel like 0:49:37.800 --> 0:49:40.719 even at one point, like, when TikTok was Musical.ly, even 0:49:40.780 --> 0:49:43.080 that would kind of come to an end to some point. 0:49:43.480 --> 0:49:45.680 It wasn't until the algorithm, like, picked up on the 0:49:45.739 --> 0:49:48.900 infinity of it all. Also, like, at this point, I 0:49:48.980 --> 0:49:51.440 can't stand. Like, I think I could turn it off. Like, 0:49:51.480 --> 0:49:53.540 the things that it's like, take a break or whatever 0:49:53.560 --> 0:49:57.310 when I'm scrolling. Stop acting like you give a fuck, bitch. 0:49:57.330 --> 0:49:59.380 Stop interrupting my doom. 0:49:59.239 --> 0:50:01.120 Scrolling to tell me to, oh, go do this. 0:50:01.160 --> 0:50:03.739 Go get water. I get it's a legality thing for you. 0:50:03.800 --> 0:50:08.770 Hey, you've been scrolling. Like, get that hot breath out 0:50:08.810 --> 0:50:12.609 of my fucking ears. Hey, you've been scrolling. 0:50:13.690 --> 0:50:16.790 Do you want water? Also, okay. Whoa. Whoa. Because how 0:50:16.830 --> 0:50:18.890 bad is it for some people that they're forgetting to 0:50:19.489 --> 0:50:23.069 take in water and food while they're on their phone? Well, baby, 0:50:23.090 --> 0:50:24.070 you just don't drink water. 0:50:24.650 --> 0:50:25.030 Don't. 0:50:25.070 --> 0:50:26.890 You're not a water drinker and you love Jack in 0:50:26.910 --> 0:50:32.049 the Box. Stop. No, I don't. Dude, Drew cannot get 0:50:32.110 --> 0:50:33.790 enough of some Jack in the Box. Give me some 0:50:33.810 --> 0:50:37.910 Jack in the Box. No. You know when you said 0:50:37.930 --> 0:50:40.259 there's a witching hour? It's me and Josh are the 0:50:40.300 --> 0:50:42.299 only ones partaking in the witching hour. Your witching hour 0:50:42.420 --> 0:50:43.440 is Jack in the Box. 0:50:44.020 --> 0:50:47.900 That's my jacking off is Jack in the Box. But 0:50:48.900 --> 0:50:51.339 something I have been thinking about a lot recently, and 0:50:52.300 --> 0:50:54.560 that's how I know I'm in a really dark place, 0:50:54.620 --> 0:51:00.020 is I want to eat Long John Silver's. I feel 0:51:00.040 --> 0:51:00.719 like Long John Silver's good. 0:51:00.739 --> 0:51:03.160 I keep getting tagged in Long John Silver's by, I think, 0:51:03.360 --> 0:51:06.980 one person. And they keep tagging me, and it's not 0:51:07.020 --> 0:51:09.760 like one person's videos. I was like, did this person 0:51:09.800 --> 0:51:12.600 just get high and look up Long John Silver's and 0:51:12.620 --> 0:51:15.980 go through and tag me in everything they saw? But 0:51:16.020 --> 0:51:18.239 it does look good. I'm not against some fried fish. 0:51:18.300 --> 0:51:19.410 Fried fish is good as fuck. 0:51:19.550 --> 0:51:23.489 Exactly. And, like, the crunch. They released chicken tenders with 0:51:23.550 --> 0:51:26.230 the same breading, which is my favorite part. And, like, 0:51:26.250 --> 0:51:28.529 eating chicken tenders with that crunch and then the little 0:51:28.570 --> 0:51:30.730 crunchy bits on the side with some tartar sauce, like, 0:51:30.770 --> 0:51:34.810 that sounds actually divine. But I feel like I would 0:51:34.830 --> 0:51:37.430 go into anaphylactic shock because everything is probably cooked in 0:51:37.469 --> 0:51:38.609 the same vat of oil. 0:51:39.410 --> 0:51:44.240 Oh, because of your, like, shrimp allergy. Mm-hmm. Just start 0:51:44.340 --> 0:51:46.719 microdosing shrimp. Like, you know how people start giving, like, 0:51:46.739 --> 0:51:48.700 peanut butter and stuff to their kids to make them 0:51:48.739 --> 0:51:49.520 not allergic. 0:51:49.260 --> 0:51:52.200 To peanut butter? Do you think anybody's ever killed themselves, like, 0:51:52.239 --> 0:51:54.430 with a peanut allergy by eating peanuts? They were like, 0:51:54.469 --> 0:51:57.120 I've had enough. And they've just tossed back a couple peanuts. 0:52:00.930 --> 0:52:07.310 Instead of, like, Perks or Xanax or some shit. Well, 0:52:07.330 --> 0:52:08.590 you can't overdose on Xanax. 0:52:09.950 --> 0:52:13.129 I've had enough. Getting on a flight for the free 0:52:13.170 --> 0:52:15.270 peanuts to kill yourself on the flight. 0:52:15.910 --> 0:52:18.140 I mean, that's low-key probably, like, one of the best 0:52:18.180 --> 0:52:20.020 places to do it. Like, wait till you get to 0:52:20.020 --> 0:52:20.259 40,000 feet. 0:52:22.140 --> 0:52:26.140 Why? So you can like ruin everyone's day? You can 0:52:26.160 --> 0:52:29.440 like literally destroy the lives of like 200 people? 0:52:29.560 --> 0:52:31.180 No, I mean like if you really want to get 0:52:31.200 --> 0:52:31.440 the job done. 0:52:31.460 --> 0:52:33.100 A guy killed himself on the plane today and he 0:52:33.120 --> 0:52:34.940 knew he had a peanut allergy and he didn't say anything. 0:52:34.980 --> 0:52:36.110 Why didn't you say a bunch of peanuts? 0:52:36.660 --> 0:52:38.710 No, if you really wanted to get the job done, 0:52:38.730 --> 0:52:40.489 you're like really high up in the air. They're not 0:52:40.530 --> 0:52:42.710 like going to be able to land the plane very quickly. 0:52:44.590 --> 0:52:45.430 Someone could walk in. 0:52:45.690 --> 0:52:47.270 Or if you want to kill yourself, do that in 0:52:47.310 --> 0:52:48.790 your own fucking business. 0:52:48.830 --> 0:52:49.230 Do that. 0:52:50.430 --> 0:52:53.660 A woman in my from suicidal person to another suicidal 0:52:53.680 --> 0:52:55.060 person we gotta fire. 0:52:54.860 --> 0:52:58.420 Exactly like don't be crashing your car into people's houses 0:52:58.500 --> 0:53:00.240 or in their other cars like you fucking free. 0:53:00.120 --> 0:53:02.460 Are you fucking on meth bitch i'll beat the fuck 0:53:02.480 --> 0:53:04.000 out of you if that's what you want so bad 0:53:04.160 --> 0:53:06.359 i'll beat you to death no you won't pay me 0:53:07.620 --> 0:53:08.200 pay me. 0:53:08.060 --> 0:53:12.960 You know i i sobbed at whoa that just derailed 0:53:12.980 --> 0:53:15.680 the conversation in a crazy way but i watched eza 0:53:15.840 --> 0:53:18.009 on the airplane you saying pay me reminded me of 0:53:18.030 --> 0:53:21.900 eza But then before Easy A, I watched Charlotte's Web, 0:53:22.489 --> 0:53:25.969 which I cried. I was so sensitive. 0:53:25.989 --> 0:53:27.190 Wait, the 2D one or the? 0:53:27.690 --> 0:53:32.590 No, the 3D one, like the real life IRL one. 0:53:32.610 --> 0:53:35.730 I sobbed at that movie. Like, I'm actually about to 0:53:35.750 --> 0:53:39.220 start crying thinking about Charlotte. She's so special. Humble pig. 0:53:39.520 --> 0:53:40.160 Some pig. 0:53:40.200 --> 0:53:40.799 There was a. 0:53:40.820 --> 0:53:44.739 Humble pig. Radiant pig. Like, hello, that's them describing me 0:53:44.820 --> 0:53:45.880 after I eat when you stop. 0:53:46.910 --> 0:53:48.780 After you have a bunch of Jack in the Box. 0:53:48.860 --> 0:53:52.580 Shut up. 0:53:53.340 --> 0:53:55.680 That's why you got all those fleets. It's because you 0:53:55.700 --> 0:54:00.540 got to evacuate the system. Fleets? Fleet. Oh, my. 0:54:01.580 --> 0:54:04.930 I thought you said fleas. And then it came out wrong. 0:54:05.130 --> 0:54:06.270 But you did say fleets. 0:54:06.530 --> 0:54:06.850 Yeah. 0:54:06.890 --> 0:54:07.650 No, I think I'm like. 0:54:07.670 --> 0:54:09.350 Because you have to clear your system after that Jack 0:54:09.390 --> 0:54:11.090 in the Box. After your salty taco. 0:54:11.230 --> 0:54:13.969 I think I am enema dependent. It's like a real thing. 0:54:13.989 --> 0:54:14.830 Like douche dependent. 0:54:15.070 --> 0:54:15.570 Yeah. 0:54:18.440 --> 0:54:19.540 I'm douche dependent. 0:54:22.080 --> 0:54:25.120 That's not good. That's not something to laugh about. 0:54:25.160 --> 0:54:26.700 They're going to cut out four inches of my colon 0:54:26.719 --> 0:54:29.350 and I'm going to have a poop bag. I did 0:54:29.390 --> 0:54:31.370 see a poop bag somewhere recently where I was like, 0:54:31.390 --> 0:54:35.870 why is there a poop bag on the screen right now? Like, 0:54:35.890 --> 0:54:39.830 it was like diversity hire vibes. Like, I don't remember. 0:54:39.850 --> 0:54:46.200 Diversity hire. Yeah. 0:54:49.880 --> 0:54:50.600 Like, we exist. 0:54:50.620 --> 0:54:52.000 But she keeps that shit on her hip. 0:54:52.260 --> 0:54:52.540 Yeah. 0:54:52.840 --> 0:54:53.990 She keeps that shit on her hip. 0:54:54.000 --> 0:54:59.219 She keeps that shit on her. I keep that thang 0:54:59.280 --> 0:54:59.540 on me. 0:55:03.010 --> 0:55:05.390 Bro, like, I feel like we have to cut that, 0:55:05.430 --> 0:55:06.710 but all I can think about is, like, if I 0:55:06.730 --> 0:55:07.950 have one of those bags and you made me mad 0:55:07.989 --> 0:55:09.910 as fuck, I'd undo that shit so fast. 0:55:15.310 --> 0:55:27.670 You're crashing out. Guys, if you're just listening, you're missing out. 0:55:28.730 --> 0:55:32.069 We just fake flung colostomy bags around the room. 0:55:36.600 --> 0:55:39.520 Wow. And this is 27. 0:55:39.520 --> 0:55:40.240 This is 28. 0:55:40.239 --> 0:55:43.620 Yeah. Are you excited to turn 29 soon? Because I 0:55:43.640 --> 0:55:44.260 turn 28 soon. Yeah. 0:55:44.280 --> 0:55:46.279 How are you feeling? 0:55:46.300 --> 0:55:47.540 What do you want to do for your birthday? That's 0:55:47.560 --> 0:55:50.540 so far away. Like bitches when they have nothing left 0:55:50.560 --> 0:55:51.480 to talk about. 0:55:51.520 --> 0:55:56.380 Charlie XCX be like. She says, what do you want 0:55:56.400 --> 0:56:02.020 to do for your birthday? So far away. I don't 0:56:02.040 --> 0:56:07.160 know what I want to do for my birthday. 0:56:07.239 --> 0:56:08.959 Dude, riveting questions. 0:56:09.440 --> 0:56:11.980 Riveting conversations. 0:56:12.040 --> 0:56:14.020 Billion dollar conversations. 0:56:14.060 --> 0:56:18.020 Billions of dollars. 20 million dollar conversation right here. 0:56:18.440 --> 0:56:21.830 Dude, oh, my God. Every now and then I get, like, 0:56:21.890 --> 0:56:25.410 a flashbang of, like, what the average man is seeing 0:56:25.469 --> 0:56:30.710 on their timeline. And it's, like, the, like, goth girl with, like, 0:56:30.790 --> 0:56:35.259 a fake chest plate at, like, a fighting game. Like, 0:56:35.600 --> 0:56:38.480 who was in the Drake video. Oh, yeah. 0:56:38.940 --> 0:56:40.680 Well, it's on Maddox's feed, too. 0:56:40.700 --> 0:56:41.440 Oh, my God. 0:56:41.480 --> 0:56:44.180 Yeah, he was like, do you know Left Handy or 0:56:44.200 --> 0:56:47.570 whatever her name is? Lefty Hand. The goth girl. And 0:56:47.610 --> 0:56:49.120 I was like, who is that? And I was like, 0:56:49.200 --> 0:56:51.279 is that the goth girl in Drake's video? And he 0:56:51.300 --> 0:56:58.170 was like, yeah. Well, flock cameras ruin public masturbation for. 0:57:03.469 --> 0:57:03.709 Me. 0:57:04.070 --> 0:57:08.940 Yeah, flock cameras are kind of putting a damper on 0:57:08.960 --> 0:57:10.180 like chasing women at night. 0:57:11.000 --> 0:57:12.700 I saw it literally. Yeah. 0:57:12.980 --> 0:57:13.340 Literally. 0:57:13.360 --> 0:57:17.280 Because I don't, I mean, that's why the Ozempic allegations stopped, 0:57:17.320 --> 0:57:19.280 because notice how once they put the flock cameras in, 0:57:19.340 --> 0:57:20.100 I stopped running. 0:57:21.620 --> 0:57:22.380 Tee. 0:57:23.100 --> 0:57:23.560 Think about it. 0:57:24.440 --> 0:57:28.320 I've been noticing that. No, I actually. When I think of, sorry, 0:57:28.340 --> 0:57:28.620 go ahead. 0:57:28.640 --> 0:57:30.530 I was going to say, I actually cannot believe that 0:57:30.570 --> 0:57:33.270 we are quite, I will never forget, and I mention 0:57:33.290 --> 0:57:35.230 this all the time, but it's like that argument I 0:57:35.290 --> 0:57:38.270 got into with, it was Roy saying, When we were 0:57:38.310 --> 0:57:40.950 like 20-something and he was already freaking out and he 0:57:40.990 --> 0:57:43.590 was like, the surveillance state is only going to get worse. Like, 0:57:43.610 --> 0:57:45.580 do you not care? And I remember just like I 0:57:45.620 --> 0:57:48.400 was 19 at that time and I was like, who cares? Like, 0:57:48.440 --> 0:57:50.500 they're not going to actually look at me, but they're looking. 0:57:50.760 --> 0:57:51.360 They're looking. 0:57:51.380 --> 0:57:52.680 But it turns out they actually do care. 0:57:52.700 --> 0:57:53.320 We ate our words. 0:57:53.340 --> 0:57:55.660 They actually do want to look. They would like to 0:57:55.700 --> 0:57:57.500 look and they would like if you also got on 0:57:57.560 --> 0:57:59.510 stream and you showed me other things to look at. 0:57:59.890 --> 0:58:02.030 I would like that a lot. Can you all go 0:58:02.090 --> 0:58:03.090 live right now and show me. 0:58:03.030 --> 0:58:05.650 What you're looking at? If everyone goes live on Twitch 0:58:05.910 --> 0:58:10.240 right now. We can see the whole world all at once. 0:58:11.160 --> 0:58:14.340 If we all become the flock cameras, then flock happens. 0:58:14.540 --> 0:58:17.700 So we all get meta Ray-Ban glasses and we all 0:58:17.760 --> 0:58:20.520 start recording each other every waking moment. No one could 0:58:20.560 --> 0:58:21.390 do anything bad. 0:58:21.890 --> 0:58:25.650 Exactly. So put your Ray-Ban meta glasses on, hire your 0:58:25.690 --> 0:58:29.110 cameraman to walk around with the camera in public, filming 0:58:29.170 --> 0:58:32.450 everything and everyone behind you. And I think that's like 0:58:33.000 --> 0:58:36.500 going to be ultimately better for society yeah net positive. 0:58:36.320 --> 0:58:38.330 Yeah because it's going to be like oh people are 0:58:38.390 --> 0:58:41.030 like maybe out places they shouldn't be and it would 0:58:41.070 --> 0:58:43.030 be good if we got them on camera catching them 0:58:43.050 --> 0:58:46.520 cheating yeah catching them cheating or like seeing like a 0:58:46.600 --> 0:58:49.500 friend that they like shouldn't be seeing like maybe like 0:58:50.280 --> 0:58:53.720 Like going out of their way to like surprise someone 0:58:53.740 --> 0:58:56.020 with something. We don't want people to be surprising people 0:58:56.040 --> 0:58:58.300 because you never know what people are surprising people with. 0:58:58.380 --> 0:58:59.140 It could be a gun. 0:58:59.240 --> 0:58:59.640 Yes. 0:58:59.740 --> 0:59:00.360 It could be a gun. 0:59:00.800 --> 0:59:03.170 When I think of public masturbation, there was this post 0:59:03.230 --> 0:59:05.470 on 4chan like so long ago. 0:59:05.490 --> 0:59:07.950 When I think of public masturbation. 0:59:09.000 --> 0:59:14.480 There is this post of this dude leaned up against 0:59:14.540 --> 0:59:16.780 a tree and then like he panned his camera up. 0:59:16.860 --> 0:59:19.419 It was just a single photo and it was Tom 0:59:19.480 --> 0:59:22.290 Cruise standing there. And the whole text post was like, 0:59:22.350 --> 0:59:25.669 sometimes like I jerk off at this tree. And Tom 0:59:25.710 --> 0:59:28.090 Cruise watches me. It was basically like the gist of 0:59:28.130 --> 0:59:32.260 the post. And it literally has stuck with me so deeply. 0:59:34.060 --> 0:59:36.160 We've already said this, but there are some things where 0:59:36.180 --> 0:59:38.300 I'm like, that's visual art. 0:59:38.940 --> 0:59:39.140 Yeah. 0:59:39.180 --> 0:59:41.660 That's performance art. Yeah. Like going out of your way 0:59:41.700 --> 0:59:43.930 to go and print that picture and then like set 0:59:43.970 --> 0:59:48.170 up this false narrative that you're. doing that in this tree. 0:59:47.990 --> 0:59:50.990 In the right context if it was not put on 0:59:51.290 --> 0:59:55.170 4chan and it was put in gagozian art gallery bitch 0:59:55.870 --> 1:00:01.130 that would be high level art context means everything i don't. 1:00:01.050 --> 1:00:03.130 Want to unfollow the hot girl who we're friends with 1:00:03.170 --> 1:00:05.070 she makes me horny sometimes. 1:00:06.680 --> 1:00:09.800 I know and i have to like it well should 1:00:09.820 --> 1:00:13.820 we get into media yes Okay, my media is Charlotte's 1:00:13.860 --> 1:00:17.600 Web and Easy A. Also, I've been watching this show, like, 1:00:17.620 --> 1:00:25.460 I Survived a Serial Killer, and it's scary as fuck. 1:00:26.160 --> 1:00:27.260 It's really scary. 1:00:27.280 --> 1:00:29.470 Wait, I thought the show about surviving a serial killer 1:00:29.510 --> 1:00:30.990 might be, like, kind of nice. 1:00:31.110 --> 1:00:33.250 Well, no, they, like, go into detail of how they 1:00:33.290 --> 1:00:34.090 were abducted. 1:00:34.470 --> 1:00:34.890 I know. 1:00:36.230 --> 1:00:36.490 Oh, okay. 1:00:37.410 --> 1:00:39.270 Like i don't think it's gonna be and then after 1:00:39.330 --> 1:00:42.570 i wasn't as traumatized as you would think i kind 1:00:42.690 --> 1:00:44.870 of just like took it on the shoulder and. 1:00:44.910 --> 1:00:48.150 Like kept going yeah no it was really fucked up 1:00:48.730 --> 1:00:50.530 um and then. 1:00:49.870 --> 1:00:51.470 When we were in georgia we were there i think 1:00:51.490 --> 1:00:53.230 when we were watching that thing about the guy who 1:00:53.270 --> 1:00:57.370 was like abusing the crematorium and he got that other 1:00:57.410 --> 1:01:00.410 guy to like the like guy who was doing crack 1:01:00.450 --> 1:01:02.090 and shit to just get on camera be like oh 1:01:02.110 --> 1:01:04.350 yeah i was i would take dead bodies and like 1:01:04.390 --> 1:01:07.590 play with the bones and like for like just crazy 1:01:07.630 --> 1:01:10.210 shit it's like how are you just getting on camera 1:01:10.230 --> 1:01:13.570 and telling me this like oh my. 1:01:13.410 --> 1:01:20.090 God then music spell number six part-time um lies in 1:01:20.110 --> 1:01:23.800 the eyes of love part-time in pop star in the 1:01:23.840 --> 1:01:27.300 bits by young e-man i i'm not fully committed that 1:01:27.380 --> 1:01:30.300 to that song yet like it's not Like, I've listened 1:01:30.320 --> 1:01:32.000 to it a couple times, and I'm like, ah, do 1:01:32.060 --> 1:01:34.720 I like this or not? Like, is this good? 1:01:34.740 --> 1:01:36.140 Is this bad? It moved you an inch, but you 1:01:36.160 --> 1:01:37.200 would like to be moved a mile. 1:01:37.240 --> 1:01:37.680 Exactly. 1:01:37.760 --> 1:01:38.170 Exactly. 1:01:38.270 --> 1:01:40.050 So I want other people to kind of listen to 1:01:40.070 --> 1:01:40.870 it and tell me. 1:01:41.090 --> 1:01:42.250 Tell you to like it or not. 1:01:42.270 --> 1:01:44.130 Yeah, exactly. I need someone to post a TikTok audio. 1:01:44.150 --> 1:01:46.570 You would like some public narrative and maybe an editor, too, 1:01:46.610 --> 1:01:48.850 to see where your heart is landing. Exactly. 1:01:49.150 --> 1:01:51.200 I need to see 300 TikToks with this song. 1:01:51.530 --> 1:01:53.320 Yeah, it needs to become an earworm. 1:01:53.400 --> 1:01:56.980 Oh, also Autobahn by Kim Petras. I was driving down 1:01:57.040 --> 1:02:02.900 the Autobahn. Something happened in the room. 1:02:02.980 --> 1:02:06.420 Mine is I've been listening to this older playlist I 1:02:06.460 --> 1:02:10.120 had and Box the 40 and Running Late by Caribou. 1:02:10.220 --> 1:02:12.060 I don't give a fuck who wrote it. It's good. 1:02:12.080 --> 1:02:14.710 And like, actually, let's talk about that. All this like 1:02:14.750 --> 1:02:18.420 ghostwriting beef, whatever. Everyone, for the most part, I obviously 1:02:18.520 --> 1:02:20.740 not my place to say. I know that like hip 1:02:20.760 --> 1:02:23.340 hop and rap has its own like conversations about that. 1:02:23.610 --> 1:02:25.890 But I'm like in this modern day of music, Lil 1:02:25.930 --> 1:02:28.450 Yachty has written for so many big people. 1:02:28.470 --> 1:02:30.010 Why does he care about Caribou? 1:02:30.210 --> 1:02:31.730 Well, it's because he's an egg. 1:02:32.010 --> 1:02:33.790 Yeah. Yeah, well, duh. 1:02:34.110 --> 1:02:36.310 But neither here nor there. 1:02:37.770 --> 1:02:40.420 Little Yachty being an egg. And let's talk about it. 1:02:40.650 --> 1:02:42.510 And let's talk about it. Because why are you so 1:02:42.530 --> 1:02:46.100 obsessed with putting on like, a mask girl like onto 1:02:46.120 --> 1:02:48.410 your like like she has to have a whole swag 1:02:48.450 --> 1:02:51.170 like he's literally holding auditions for the baddest bitch he 1:02:51.210 --> 1:02:54.530 would swap lives with like that's what he wants um 1:02:56.670 --> 1:03:00.530 and that's honestly that's all I've got for you and 1:03:00.550 --> 1:03:03.460 that I've been I've watched I've started watching Twin Peaks 1:03:03.980 --> 1:03:07.000 oh wow some might say I'm very. 1:03:06.640 --> 1:03:11.020 Like astute You consume media that other people don't. 1:03:11.120 --> 1:03:12.160 Yeah, I'm a consumer. 1:03:13.300 --> 1:03:18.070 I really want the VHS box set for Twin Peaks. 1:03:18.150 --> 1:03:19.970 I think it's one of the coolest things ever created. 1:03:19.990 --> 1:03:21.530 Okay, you should tell somebody who gives a fuck who 1:03:21.550 --> 1:03:23.410 would get it for you. Because it's not going to 1:03:23.430 --> 1:03:23.950 be me, sis. 1:03:24.450 --> 1:03:31.030 Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. Also, just my 1:03:31.070 --> 1:03:36.640 two cents on the caribou little yachty beef. Why ghostwrite 1:03:36.820 --> 1:03:40.150 if you... Want the attention. 1:03:41.830 --> 1:03:43.610 That's what I'm telling you is because he's not a girl. 1:03:43.670 --> 1:03:46.730 So he can't, he can't like, like, I feel like Dorothy, 1:03:46.770 --> 1:03:49.590 I want to go home. Like, he can't say that. 1:03:50.190 --> 1:03:52.690 So it's just like, he's like, but I said that. 1:03:52.930 --> 1:03:55.590 But that was me. He wants to be a girl 1:03:55.640 --> 1:03:56.180 so bad. 1:03:56.260 --> 1:03:58.580 He wants to feel whatever JT feels when she goes 1:03:58.620 --> 1:04:00.760 to bed at night and knows that she is JT. 1:04:01.560 --> 1:04:02.620 God, that would feel great. 1:04:02.780 --> 1:04:03.040 Yeah. 1:04:04.140 --> 1:04:04.820 That would be awesome. 1:04:04.840 --> 1:04:05.400 I feel like her. 1:04:05.420 --> 1:04:06.740 Imagine being a city girl. 1:04:06.760 --> 1:04:07.400 Yeah. 1:04:08.530 --> 1:04:14.209 I feel like JT's, like, nighttime routine is probably, like, 1:04:15.830 --> 1:04:18.730 I just feel like she treats herself so right. Does 1:04:18.750 --> 1:04:19.230 that make sense? 1:04:19.250 --> 1:04:21.240 Like, some people you can see. A little glass of wine. 1:04:21.260 --> 1:04:22.980 Yeah, some people you can see and it's like, oh, 1:04:23.020 --> 1:04:26.540 this isn't just for show. Like, you actually love yourself. Like, 1:04:26.920 --> 1:04:28.580 when everything is said and done, it's like you're going 1:04:28.600 --> 1:04:30.530 to actually treat yourself the way you talk about it. 1:04:30.800 --> 1:04:33.620 And then some people it's like, okay, so your shower 1:04:33.680 --> 1:04:37.260 has not seen moisture for, like, And not even, like, 1:04:37.300 --> 1:04:39.980 in the showering sense, but it hasn't, like, your shower 1:04:40.000 --> 1:04:41.030 hasn't fogged up. 1:04:41.240 --> 1:04:41.720 Yeah. 1:04:41.800 --> 1:04:44.710 Like, you've been showering, but there hasn't been, like, a 1:04:44.790 --> 1:04:45.230 fog on. 1:04:45.210 --> 1:04:46.690 The mirrors in your bathroom. Like, you're not taking your time. 1:04:46.710 --> 1:04:48.470 Like, you're not taking your time in there. It's like 1:04:48.510 --> 1:04:52.950 a quick one and done. And that's my media and my, that's, 1:04:53.030 --> 1:04:54.010 those are my decisions. 1:04:54.670 --> 1:04:54.930 Yeah. 1:04:55.990 --> 1:05:20.490 Great. Thank you.