WEBVTT - EP 451: Our Poly Family Getaway (feat. Tahir Moore ) 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:02.920 Well, first of all, we're very open with our daughter. 0:00:02.960 --> 0:00:05.880 When we first decided to go open, we sat down 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:07.360 and talked to her about it. And then when we 0:00:07.400 --> 0:00:09.319 decided to go Polly, we sat down and talked to 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:09.880 her about But. 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:12.479 Your wife's boyfriend and your girlfriend, yeah, and they met 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:12.879 each other. 0:00:13.200 --> 0:00:16.040 I have a crazy backstory now, been shot, set on fire, kidnapped, 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:18.040 all this type of shit, and it's all at fourteen. 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:19.840 If a woman fucks with a lot of people, she's 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:21.880 a whole. And if God doing he's just like being 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:22.720 the guys man. 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:24.200 That shit is stupid. 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:27.480 So my wife, I'm a boy. I love watching people, 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:28.440 I love being watched. 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:31.479 I love that shit. Right, it was different with her boyfriend. 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:34.760 Okay, welcome to decisions decisions. I don't think you should 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:38.199 say decisions decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsten. 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:42.880 You used definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast. 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:47.080 You want to say together the decisions decisions. Hey, guys, 0:00:47.240 --> 0:00:49.640 welcome to another episode of This is the Owns. 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:50.400 This is the Owns. 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:51.440 I'm your girl man. 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:54.360 D b aka peg the Sign aka Peggy Bundy aka 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:56.160 Peggan Marco aka that Beach. 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:59.640 What's good y'all, I'm weazy. Welcome back to another episode. 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:01.880 We have a guest in the building today, and I'm 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:05.480 so excited because me and my mama be standing this 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.560 nigg First of all, I just call you the light 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:10.600 skinned nigga with the nose ring my mom be. 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:15.640 Like the freckle nigga. We always be confused. And then 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:18.400 finally one day you were like, follow. 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:19.000 Me on my igs here. 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:22.840 I was like, shout out to comedian. 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:25.720 And podcaster and all of the things that I'm not 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:27.520 reading in this bio yet to hear my. 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:30.720 I appreciate it. 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.120 I'm very excited to be here and where we haven't like, 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:35.160 I haven't got to see you live. 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:37.920 You are highly spoken up. 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:40.560 We have a mutual friend and so I'm just glad 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:44.640 that we're super able to finally make this happened. 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:49.520 Shout out to Io. By the way, if. 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:53.120 Y'all are on Patreon, there is a whole lesson that 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.520 Chef Io did with us where she taught us how 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:57.440 to cook God damn Ruth Chris stuff chicken. 0:01:57.760 --> 0:01:58.640 Didn't they do well? 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:01.240 No, no, no, it was so fucking good. And I 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:03.640 was like, hey, bro, this is my ship. 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:04.960 Now. Mind you when you go. 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:08.440 To a steakhouse, yes, normally it's really black and uncultured 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:10.920 to order chicken. Yes, but Ruth christ is the only 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:12.400 goddamn steakhouse exception. 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:15.400 Hey, brother, goddamn chicken. I haven't had the chicken there. 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:16.880 You haven't I had chicken. 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:19.560 Just know you won't be looked at like it's chicken 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:20.200 at the steakhouse. 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:21.919 It is the chicken, but he's the. 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:23.440 Thing if you order it, like you're like, hey, we 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:24.960 ordered a lot of stuff, Just order for the table. 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:26.000 That's how you can get around it. 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:32.359 Okay that when you can't, that is the known one. 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:34.359 But I'd be like every time I get to a steakhouse, 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:37.160 I'll be like, chicken, you know that sounds good. I'll 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:37.680 take the food. 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:40.840 Listen, I get the I love. 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:44.120 You need to be eating with a lot of people, 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:46.400 because you see when these people online started being like 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:48.760 how do you spant the check? That bro to me, 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:52.400 that's my time to be glutting, like I be oh, 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:54.079 I literally have a dinner tonight. It was me and 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.160 a home girl was like, make it a girl game. 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:57.760 Let's invite more bitches because I. 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:01.959 Didn't three mean you, I won't And it's only two 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:02.320 of them. 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:05.320 Now, what I tell you, I just it's funny because 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:09.760 in terms of uh organizing, everyone wanted me to have 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:13.360 a birthday dinner this year, right, And I was just like, no, 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:15.799 I said, first off, this year has been rough for. 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:16.320 A lot of people. 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:18.920 Yes, so literally even being out here in LA there 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:20.600 was a friend that was supposed to join us, and 0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:22.600 she literally had to tell my friend on the side, like, 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:26.079 I'm probably just gonna have water because it's a little rough. 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:27.839 And when I call out, bitch, I like, have y'all. 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:29.200 I like the stakes. 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:32.400 I like the things that are priced to impe and so. 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:37.040 When I'm like this period supermarket. 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:44.800 So the idea of a big group dinner where also 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:49.000 everyone has different ways of spend their money. Sometimes food 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.880 ain't it for somebody. And at the age I. 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:53.800 Think where we can have a birthday dinner where people 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:55.880 got to pay off, it ain't even like we should 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:56.600 be hosting it. 0:03:56.680 --> 0:03:59.680 And like, and that's another reason you think on my birthday, 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:04.200 I want to you neat a whole bunch of brokies. Yeah, everybody. Everyone. 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.560 For my birthday, we had Piece of Hood absolutely go crazy. 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:09.360 But I got a two hundred fifty dollars for but 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:10.080 the idea of. 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:13.440 Also like wanting to celebrate myself, but I'm paying for 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:13.880 the dinner. 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.200 I'm paying for y'all to eat with me for my birthday. 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:18.600 I feel both sides of it. I feel both sides 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:19.239 of it because. 0:04:19.080 --> 0:04:22.520 It's like, Okay, give us if we're again, if we're 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:24.360 going to a place that's affordable, and it ain't no 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:26.000 big thing like bowling or something like that, and I'm 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:27.360 gonna order the absence all of y'all. 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:29.000 Just take care of y'all. Yeah, but I'll take care 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:30.400 of the bowling and I'll take care of the apps. 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:32.400 If y'all whatever, drink y'all want, y'all get yourself, Okay, 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:34.159 But if we're going to like my favorite steakhouse is 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.160 place called Bourbon Steak in Glendale, California, stay up in there. 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:39.279 No, that's steak Boulevard. 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:42.120 I like, though me and my wife are gone there 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:44.080 a number of times and the two of. 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:45.320 Us have racked up seven hundred dollars. 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:47.200 That's what I'm saying for two people, bro, I ain't 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:50.360 doing what I This is why we need to be. 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:54.400 Picking the birthday places. Like my thirty fifth birthday is coming, huh. 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:56.240 I'm gonna do it in La because my dad is here. 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:57.640 He's not as mobile, and I'm like, you know what, 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:00.680 all I want is my close friend and I. 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:01.839 Want to take everybody out. 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:03.280 Where are we gonna go? Bitch? 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.720 I shut down with a cheesecake factory. I already have 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:06.400 it on the hold. 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:09.480 Hey, I said, y'all niggas got an ox court. I 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:13.400 like playing this out, but I was like, you know what, cheescarea. 0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:15.600 In my brain, I'm like, what would I be willing 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:17.440 to spend to have this moment with my friends and 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:21.039 my family because it's a party essentially, It's probably gonna 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:22.920 be about fifteen dollars. Right there's eight of us at 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:25.640 a cheesecake factory. I doubt it he'll get there. However, 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:28.080 my nigga bettery be taking me to get some fucking 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:29.160 MP that next. 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:32.640 And listen, I listen. I don't know your level of friends. 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.240 Like even when keV like takes us all out, I 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:36.600 still pull them to side, like, yo, let. 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:37.120 Me put something on it. 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:39.160 Put someone like no, nigga, I got it, like I 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:41.000 gotta spend it or else sinst like he does it 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:44.320 as a tax right now. But I always offer because 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:46.480 I know it can get expense. Let me take care 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:48.080 of the tip, just eight of us. Let me take 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:49.280 care of the tip or something like that, just so 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:51.640 I can put some on it. But I understand both sides. 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:54.159 Yeah, any taken. 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:55.599 He's let me take care of the tip a couple 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:56.640 of times. That's nice. 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:58.600 Yeah, And I know he don't need it, and I 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:02.839 do need I do need it, right, but I be. 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:06.599 Holding the niggas ain't no every time there whoa ship. 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:08.400 I thought that he took a little while. I thought 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:09.599 was gonna say yes so that one. 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:12.520 But but I just don't want him to ever feel 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:15.440 like I'm taking it for granted or it's expected, like 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:17.159 I will always. 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:18.960 Pay my own way. But if you treat nigga, you know, 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:19.640 I want to block. 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.200 Have you heard a Chipriani? You have or you heard 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:23.200 a Chipriani in New York? 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:24.440 What was that Chipriani? 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:28.279 Chiprioni? So it's just like Italian Italian high end restaurant. 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:30.680 And recently I went with a friend in quest Love 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:32.719 and he's bet in my life and family for a 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:33.960 few years now and always. 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:34.200 Takes us out. 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.159 So I said, let me take you to dinner. I 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:37.720 never take you to dinner and I'm not saying I 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:39.520 didn't mean it. I just didn't think he'd be like 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:40.280 that's so sweet. 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:43.800 Yeah yeah, And I was like, and now you got to. 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:45.039 Go to a good place because you don't want to 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:45.719 insult him. 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:47.320 Now, No, we were already there. 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.279 Oh shit, so now take the wrong place. 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:53.880 My Homegirl's like, oh my god, I think I'm gonna 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:54.760 have another rest ersion. 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:57.840 We would have me to grace to God. 0:06:57.920 --> 0:06:59.240 All told this nigga to his face. I said, this 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:00.000 best day of my life. 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:02.960 We get the check and the guy comes over and said, 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:04.839 it's actually already been taken care of. 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:07.919 Someone over there is a huge fan of you. Wow, 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:11.240 you changed my life. You changed my like I. 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:14.360 Said, thank you, thank you, And that's amazing. 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:15.480 Dog. You know what I have? 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:22.760 Yes, fa Fair, Hello, fain Fair. Now I'm gonna intentionally. 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.360 Do it and like I found this really cool indeed 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:25.080 Jamaican spot. 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:26.720 You want to know, I'm gonna do some shit like that. 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:29.280 It's so funny because I listen, I'll be I'll be patty, 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:31.000 I'll be like, I got it a happy hour. 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:32.160 You just get the next spot. 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:37.800 Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll be like, let's let's do this. 0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:40.040 Let's do this, So we got some questions for you, Okay, 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:43.760 age sex location, would love to know that before we 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:45.600 get into your relationship. I like to do a little 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:47.720 starter just like the a OL screen game, because that's 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:47.960 all right. 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:54.480 Yeah, okay, I'm forty one, I am straight mail, and 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:56.200 I live in all La La right now. 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.000 And so your dad, do you have one kid? 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.240 To just one? Actually birthday is yesterday. She just turned 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:03.160 twenty Ollie. 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:05.200 You excited about the twenty one age is there? 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:06.760 Yeah? I don't know. I'm excited for her to get out. 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:09.320 Oh she's still living out there? Yeah? Yeah, she living 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:11.520 at home. She ain't going to school. What's the count? Gamer? 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:13.000 I don't know. 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:15.040 You know, I'm trying to be like I moved out 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.920 at fourteen, So I'm it's like the way I was 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:20.000 brought up on her. But at the same time, I'm like, Nigga, 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:22.200 you gotta do something grown adults. 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:24.520 Is she able to bring boys to the house. 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:29.560 Is that she has friends over? No, nigga been over 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:29.960 the carib. 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.400 Yeahdoll no, you gonna do like what they do and 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:33.120 the bad boys? 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:35.120 No, no, no, I ain't gonna. I ain't gonna do 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:35.560 all of that. 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:37.679 And I mean you'll know I'm crazy though, Like if 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:39.160 he came over, it'd be guz out. 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:42.520 But I ain't gonna like put no on. I just 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:44.360 playing the dume, Like what's someone you're good? 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:45.839 No, she don't have good guys. 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:46.320 She's a gamer. 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:47.839 Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, but I mean the 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.080 gamers be weird too, not even talking to each other. 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:55.880 No, no, they're serial killers on that training training might 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.440 be better. Yeah, oh what I mean? Listen, listen, listen. 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:00.000 She ain't. 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:04.000 Thankfully, My daughter is still very much like a kid. 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:06.840 Like she likes hanging with us, She likes watching movies 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:09.000 with us. She don't like she hangs rough fee every 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:10.800 now and then. But she's like the mother hen which 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.040 she hangs withever. Wow, he's wanting to make sure everybody 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:15.040 drink water and stuff, like she doesn't drink, she don't 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:16.880 smoke every now and there. She'll do it edible with 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:19.800 us with her Yeah yeah, because I know she would 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:22.720 need money now and she gets all the money for 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:23.120 me now. 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:26.079 One of the reasons why are you sure wanted you 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:27.760 on the show so much? And what I love is 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:30.560 because we never able are really to have this conversation 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:32.960 fully with men you've got couples on and things like that, 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:33.679 but you're in the. 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.280 Lifestyle, lifestyle, and so I would love to know if. 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:39.520 You could share even your introduction to lifestyle and how 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:41.439 you're able to navigate it in. 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:44.800 A marriage an older daughter too. Yeah. Yeah, Well, first 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:46.560 of all, we're very open with our daughter. 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:49.520 When we first decided to go open, we sat down 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:51.040 and talked to her about it. And then when we 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.040 decided to go Polly, we sat down and talked to 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:54.200 her about waiting open. 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:55.520 And Polly, we're two different conversations. 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:58.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah, explain that, okay, because when we went open, 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.160 it was like just it. It was just a physical thing, 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:03.160 like we weren't looking for anything with the people that 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:05.720 we might play with. We weren't keeping anything going like that. 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:07.840 So you know, like, hey, I might become my own lady. 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:10.520 Me and mommy have decided to you know, try this out. 0:10:10.640 --> 0:10:13.559 Blah blah blah, this overdoor policy. You can come talk 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:15.880 to us at any time about it. You have any questions, 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:17.719 like we went into detail with her. But you know 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:24.480 a second yeah, uh, this was twenty five, so she 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:26.640 might have been like eleven, and that's just because. 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:27.880 An eleven year old. 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.040 Hold on, wait, wait, wait, this is really interesting to 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.000 me because a lot of people act like this should 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.320 be reserved for like an older kid. Yeah, so you 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.760 told an eleven year old and expecting her to understand, 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:38.240 and like how did you say it? 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.600 Well, we didn't go into like the details of like yeah, 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:44.599 I'm fucking bitches out here right, but like you know, 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.479 because my thing is like with me being in entertainment 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:50.600 and then embracing the lifestyle. If somebody snaps a picture 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:52.280 of like yo, us have to hear out with another 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.560 person and my daughter at that time, she wasn't on 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:56.280 social media as much, but it was still around, like 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:58.120 if it's floating around, I don't want her to see 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:00.400 some shit and then she's like the last found out 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:03.000 about it. So it's more so like like hey, listen, 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:05.600 this is what me and Mammy are doing. We're doing 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:07.920 this because of this. This is a decision that we 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:10.640 both made. So if you hear anything, see anything, then 0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:11.680 feel free to come to us. 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:13.240 Ask Sumer questions like that. 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:13.559 I love that. 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:16.280 And then at what point did you go from open 0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:18.720 to polly and how was the conversation different? 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.600 So when we went Polly, it was probably like twenty twenty, 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.240 twenty twenty one, and it was a it was a 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:27.000 more mature conversation. 0:11:27.120 --> 0:11:28.800 Hey, me and mommy are deciding to do this. 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.080 We're looking for Initially we were looking for a third 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:34.320 and then we ended up just having our own partners. 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.760 And so we told her because she had met both 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:38.079 the partners already at that time. 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:38.880 So it was the. 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:42.000 Daughter met your wife's boyfriend and your girlfriend. Yeah, and 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:46.480 they met each other. Yeah, we vacation together. We spend 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:48.679 them there that the New year's all over here. That 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:52.000 be our whole drive. You get to travel as husband 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.559 and wife with both of your partners. 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:58.240 Are y'all swapping or are swapping, you're just vacationing. 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:01.000 So what's the polly? What is that considered? 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:03.560 Because right now I'm solo poly, But what is that 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:05.800 poly considered? 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:09.319 Well, I mean it depends on like your arrangement to 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.439 you know, that's hierarchy and that's non hierarchical. 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:14.640 So you know, non hierarchical is everybody's on the same 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:15.800 everyone's on the same plane. Yeah. 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:18.480 So anytime you make a life decision or you're planning 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:21.440 on making a major life decision like getting the car moving, 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:23.800 investing in something like, you know, you bring it to 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:25.839 the table so everyone can weigh in because it could 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:29.440 affect everyone. So it's it's just a lot of communication, 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:31.240 a lot of communication. And it's not to say like 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:33.319 niggas don't get jealous, Like niggas still get jealous. 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:35.040 And it's just about. 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:38.679 Being able to have the capacity to have the conversation 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:42.280 and converse about what the insecurities are rising. Jealousy and anger, 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:46.160 those are all both secondary emotions, so it's starting for 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.080 something else. So like, what is what is steering up 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:51.240 this insecurity? What's the steering enough this jealousy? What's stinger 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:53.680 steering up this this anger? But you have to be 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:58.120 in a place to be able to have that conversation. Listen, 0:12:59.880 --> 0:13:01.480 got married, am nigga was not like I was a 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:06.200 shut down type. We have a conversation. I associated conversation 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:10.760 immediately with conflict because of the way I was raised 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:13.400 and I grew up in a very violent household. 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:15.480 My mom was beat by my sister's dad. 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:19.120 Anytime she questioned or the conversation got too heated, he 0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:20.960 would just you know, he would he beat me too. 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.800 So I just seen that and then my uncles all 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:26.800 of them fighting and fighting with their old ladies. Anytime 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:29.480 like a conversation got heated or she would raise her voice, 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:31.880 I would shut down. I would either leave or just 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:33.560 walk off the room. And then it's tense in the 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:35.640 house for a week. And I was like, I don't 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:36.320 I don't like this. 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:39.640 I go, did you guys take this? Did you do 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:41.440 therapy by yourself first, or did you both? 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:44.800 I had to get the therapy, and I tried, like 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:47.120 I had. I had tried two different therapists. None of 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:49.280 them was working. Like I have a crazy backstory, you know, 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.600 been shot, set on fire, kidnapped, all this type of shit, 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:53.640 and it's all at fourteen and so I'm telling the 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:56.200 first therapists about this and we're doing it virtually, and 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:59.640 I see her go right at right, and I was 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:01.760 just like, it's not gonna work. So I already know, 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:03.120 like this ship is shocking you like. 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:04.240 This, this is just the intro. 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.679 This this is right after the ford after somebody do 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:09.440 the forward, Like this is on the first page and 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:14.319 you're doing damn right now, Nah, to culturally different therapists. 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:16.600 You have to get before you felt like you could 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:21.160 go from sharing your backstory to getting to your conflict resolution. 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.160 My third one is really good. 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:25.840 And uh this is after the first two, like I 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.200 canceled them like within like a month and a half. 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.440 Did you have an idea of like man woman black? 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:35.560 I wanted a woman just because I think I feel 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:37.600 more comforable women. I was raised by women, and also, 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:42.200 like you know, I'm a Pisces, I was raising the hood. 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:44.320 But I also have like a lot of sensitive quality, 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.840 So I wanted someone that would understand that but also 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.840 acknowledge it too, Like you know, it takes. It takes 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.040 a lot of strength of like y'all, I'm scared, I'm insecure, 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:56.080 or I don't know how to talk about this or whatever. 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:58.000 And sometimes I feel like women are. 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:01.280 More encouraging and comforting and nourishing to build you up 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.080 and strengthen that muscle so you feel more confident in 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:04.360 doing it. 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:06.040 I feel like it's so hard to even like go 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:08.720 back to sex, you know, when someone start saying somebody 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:09.120 like I've. 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:11.720 Been shot onself, Like, okay, so about the sucking day. 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.600 I also have a question that's on my line Pisces 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.080 and Pisces now because jealousy arises, but sometimes jealousy is 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:23.360 sexy yeah, you as a straight man. What were your 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:25.800 homeboy saying when you said your wife had a boyfriend? 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:27.800 And I think I want to ask this really in 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:29.480 depth and you tell us a lot about it because 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.200 so many women are watching. Yeah maybe in dynamics where 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:34.400 their boyfriend won't let them. 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:34.960 Have a boyfriend. 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.120 Yeah, absolutely, I could get some plassy sometimes but you 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:41.000 can't or whatever, like, and we see that so much, 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:42.480 and we see that it's so hard for them to 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:43.320 have those conversations. 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.920 I would love to hear, like, who was judging you? 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:46.640 And what was that like? 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:49.880 I'm sure a lot of niggas failed the way. Uh 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:53.120 you know, they hit you with that that old black saying. 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:54.560 I mean, hey, nigga, if you like it, I look 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:58.120 and honestly, a lot of times you have to just 0:15:58.200 --> 0:15:59.920