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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Keon, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming

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Speaker 1: right up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep the show alive. My fiance's

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Speaker 2: sister blackmailed her way into our wedding. The whole family

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Speaker 2: turned on her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, blackmail are back.

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Speaker 2: I twenty eight female am recently engaged my partner of

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Speaker 2: five years, twenty seven male. We have been planning for

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Speaker 2: this day for a while and we just announced the

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Speaker 2: engagement last week. By the way, this comes from Not

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Speaker 2: Your Friend twenty three ninety nine. If you want to

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Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime subrend it. I'm Dakota and I'm Savannah, and we're

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Speaker 2: here to give good of os gorooffully. But we don't

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Speaker 2: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

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Speaker 2: so let us know your thoughts in the comments. And

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Speaker 2: op says. We were originally just planning for the wedding

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Speaker 2: to be in December twenty twenty one, but my fiance's

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Speaker 2: brother is deployed and won't be able to take leave,

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Speaker 2: so we're now planning for May twenty twenty two. My

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Speaker 2: fiance sister thirty eight female, let's call her Megan, has

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Speaker 2: been engaged for about a year, but has never actually

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Speaker 2: announced it or even spoken about it with anyone, including family.

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Speaker 2: We only know because she wears a ring and occasionally

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Speaker 2: slips and calls her so fiance. When she learned we

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Speaker 2: were engaged, she acted happy, but then started talking horrible

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Speaker 2: things about us to her mom, Susie. Before we selected

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Speaker 2: this date, I asked Megan and her Susie if they

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Speaker 2: had any wedding dates picked or planned so that we

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Speaker 2: don't interfere since they were engaged first, and below are

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Speaker 2: the responses I got. Megan said, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: Why would I have plans? Do you think I'm getting married?

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Speaker 2: Who said that? You said that? Actually because you have

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Speaker 2: a ring on your finger? Hello, Hi, Susie. Megan has

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Speaker 2: not told me about the engagement firsthand, so I don't

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Speaker 2: believe there are any plans and I know of nothing,

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Speaker 2: so you should be clear. Based off of these responses,

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Speaker 2: we picked a date and a venue and set a

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Speaker 2: deposit and mailed the save the day. Much to Megan's dislike,

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Speaker 2: she called my fiance screaming at him for picking the

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Speaker 2: weekend of her wedding, that she had planned for that

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Speaker 2: all along and was still trying to get her things

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Speaker 2: in order to place a deposit and announce it. She

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Speaker 2: called me all kinds of names and told him and

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Speaker 2: I'm an a hole and a witch for ruining her

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Speaker 2: big day. The next day, I screenshot her text and

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Speaker 2: sent it to Megan and asked her how she could

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Speaker 2: be mad when I asked her point blank about the dates,

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Speaker 2: and she said, I quote, I figured you'd pick any

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Speaker 2: other day of the three hundred and sixty five days,

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Speaker 2: but not that one. Well, gee whiz, Megan, maybe you

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Speaker 2: should have used your words and said that, because now

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Speaker 2: it sounds like you're just full of it.

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Speaker 3: I mean, she literally did not give them a date

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Speaker 3: and was like, oh not like what wedding. I don't

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Speaker 3: know what you mean what, I'm not getting married what?

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Speaker 3: And then she's like, okay do the days. She's like,

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Speaker 3: I'm getting married that day. Yeah, I was daring you.

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Speaker 2: She was just waiting for you to pick your date.

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Speaker 2: So she go, that's mine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel like any date you would have picked

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Speaker 3: she would have been like yeah, not like just say

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Speaker 3: like oh, tentatively we're thinking this date she's got.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's got some kind of weird complex going on.

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Speaker 2: Something's going on there. I said I was sorry, and

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Speaker 2: that I could try to reschedule and see if our

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Speaker 2: venue will change our date with the deposit. Honestly, that's

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Speaker 2: too even more nice than she deserves. Yeah, anyways, I tried,

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Speaker 2: but the venue won't budge. We would lose the deposit

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Speaker 2: and the next open date that we liked is an

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Speaker 2: until November of twenty twenty two, and that's just too long.

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Speaker 2: So we both agreed that we would keep our date

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Speaker 2: since she hasn't spent a single dime on her wedding,

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Speaker 2: and she could pick a new day since she didn't

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Speaker 2: disclose it to us when asked. Megan obviously hates this

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Speaker 2: and is threatening actions on us, all different kinds of threats.

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Speaker 2: So far, am I the A hole for picking my

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Speaker 2: date before Megan and not changing it now that she's upset?

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Speaker 2: My fiance's family is split and some think we are

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Speaker 2: the A hole and others that Megan is. So we

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Speaker 2: turned to Reddit Who's the A hole? And there is

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Speaker 2: an update, But it's it's clear that you you did

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Speaker 2: everything right.

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Speaker 3: She didn't give you a date, so you booked it

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Speaker 3: not knowing because she didn't tell you. And then she's like,

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Speaker 3: how dare you pick my date that I didn't tell

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Speaker 3: you anything about? Megan makes sense.

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Speaker 2: This is the same energy as like it's cold out

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Speaker 2: and you're hanging out with someone and you're gonna leave,

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Speaker 2: and you're like, you should bring a jacket, it's cold.

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Speaker 2: They go, I don't need a jacket. I'm fine, you're

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Speaker 2: sure it's cold. I'm telling you it's cold outside and

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Speaker 2: you should bring a jacket. I don't need one. And

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Speaker 2: then fast forward and they're like, I'm so cold, give

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Speaker 2: me your jacket. You're like, no, this is my jacket. Now,

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Speaker 2: I brought my jacket. Get your own jacket.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Then they're like, oh, how dare you? How dare you

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Speaker 3: do that to me? It's like, girl, what I asked you?

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Speaker 3: Point blank months in advance, months like.

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Speaker 2: Girl, please, We've got an update. Over the next fifteen days,

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Speaker 2: Megan called screaming at us on Friday, the thirtieth of July.

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Speaker 2: We spoke to the venue on the thirtieth and thirty

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Speaker 2: first we spoke to Meghan and the rest of the

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Speaker 2: fan on the thirty. First, the threats Megan made towards

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Speaker 2: us were not physical threats of harm, more so threats

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Speaker 2: to cause us to be outcasts from the family and

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Speaker 2: to ruin our wedding day or curse our future children,

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Speaker 2: wishing something unwell to them. Okay, that's insane. Who's on

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Speaker 2: her side? Who was on the side of the girl

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Speaker 2: cursing the children? Yeah, she also threatened to get us

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Speaker 2: fired from our jobs, but we aren't sure how she

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Speaker 2: would accomplish that. Yesterday morning, Susie called Megan to try

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Speaker 2: and get her to settle down and to see she

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Speaker 2: had at least three opportunities since we announced the engagement

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Speaker 2: to inform us if there was a date. About thirty

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Speaker 2: minutes after that call, my fiance got a text from Megan.

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Speaker 2: If anyone knows how I can attach the screenshop, please

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Speaker 2: let me know. The text read, after speaking with mother,

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Speaker 2: I will agree to move my date on the condition

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Speaker 2: that I am a bridesmaid in your wedding. This is

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Speaker 2: the only way I'd consider giving up my wedding date

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Speaker 2: for you. Clearly that is not happening, and I called

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Speaker 2: Susie and Meghan and explained why that is not an option. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because clearly she would use that to ruin your wedding.

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Speaker 3: That is just point blank exactly what she's going.

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Speaker 2: To do, Meghan, He's no hiding it. Yeah. Meghan again

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Speaker 2: lost it and said, then she is taking our date

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Speaker 2: and it's hers. Now. My fiance jumped in with the

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Speaker 2: support of his family, now completely behind us because she

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Speaker 2: was actually trying to blackmail us, and said the following, Megan,

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Speaker 2: you're not going to get our date. You're not going

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Speaker 2: to be a bridesmaid. You're at this point not even

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Speaker 2: invited to our wedding. It saddens us to say that,

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Speaker 2: but you can't be a rational adult, and we don't

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Speaker 2: have time to babysit on our wedding day. If you

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Speaker 2: choose to have your wedding on the same day, clearly

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Speaker 2: we will not be attending. This is driving a wedge

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Speaker 2: in our family, and you need to act like a

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Speaker 2: thirty eight year old woman who is a mother of two,

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Speaker 2: and not like you're a two year old. I feel

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Speaker 2: like I'm seeing thirty eight year old mother of two.

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Speaker 2: She's got some kind of complex about getting married after

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Speaker 2: she needs to be married. She needs it so bad.

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Speaker 3: She's like a Karen it's making like nope, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: no no. This is going to make her go completely insane.

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Speaker 2: She's frying her brain. Susie then added that if there

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Speaker 2: are two weddings on one day, the family would inevitably

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Speaker 2: have to pick sides, and since everyone except her brother

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Speaker 2: who's deployed overseas, was on the call, they voted and

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Speaker 2: not a single family member outside Susie and her so

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Speaker 2: would be attending her wedding. I like where we're at.

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Speaker 2: She's not going. You're not going. The family's on your side.

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Speaker 2: You hate to see it, but she's gone crazy.

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Speaker 3: I love to see it.

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Speaker 2: The call ended around five pm, and around five hours

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Speaker 2: passed before we got an email from her saying she

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Speaker 2: is leaving the family and will not be contacting us again.

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Speaker 2: Let me play the world's smallest violin for that tragedy.

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Speaker 2: She had a lot of other reasons than the ones listed,

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Speaker 2: and it clearly took her most of the five hours

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Speaker 2: to type it up. The family is not shocked, and

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Speaker 2: most expect she will be back in touch in the

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Speaker 2: next sixth months. Anyway, since this is a common trend,

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Speaker 2: so our wedding day is now our wedding day. And yes,

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Speaker 2: passwords are already in place, so she can't do anything

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Speaker 2: about it. Passwords are in place, all right, nice, that's

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Speaker 2: the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: I mean, good, screwer. She's a nightmare. And I feel

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Speaker 3: like if she were to come, like even if you

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Speaker 3: were going to be nice and invite her, she would

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Speaker 3: make it horrible. It would be a horrible time and

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Speaker 3: he'd be like, dude, you can't even like just suck

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Speaker 3: it up like crazy? How this could have been just

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Speaker 3: avoided by you telling us that you were going to

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Speaker 3: get married on this date. Don't keep it a secret? Yeah, dummy.

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Speaker 2: Well again, I think that was her plan. She wasn't

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Speaker 2: going to say a date in whatever date you would pick,

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Speaker 2: then it would become the date she wanted. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I don't know. She wanted to make this some sort

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Speaker 2: of war, a wedding war.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and she lost.

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Speaker 2: She lost spectacularly.

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Speaker 3: Fortunately no one took your side.

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Speaker 2: That is the end of that story. My sister accused

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Speaker 2: me of upstaging her wedding just by being married.

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Speaker 3: You're not going to do anything that I do.

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Speaker 2: My twenty five male wife, twenty five female and I

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Speaker 2: recently eloped. Neither of us wanted the attention or the

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Speaker 2: expense of a big wedding, so we did our own

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Speaker 2: little vacation where we got married. We didn't tell our

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Speaker 2: families beforehand because we knew they'd freak out. They weren't

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Speaker 2: thrilled to've missed it, but they accepted it and haven't

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Speaker 2: given us a hard time since the initial shock. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user much Comfortable to four

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Speaker 2: to two. If you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime subburt it. I'm

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Speaker 2: Dakota and I'm Savannah, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully.

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we know, so let us know what you know

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Speaker 2: down in the comments and op set. My sister, Kate

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Speaker 2: twenty seven female, on the other hand, has been planning

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Speaker 2: a wedding for over a year. She and her fiance

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Speaker 2: dated eight years before getting engaged, so to say she's

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Speaker 2: been waiting for this day a long time is a

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Speaker 2: bit of an understatement. Her wedding is in two weeks

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Speaker 2: and she's been slightly bridezilla esque in the late stages

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Speaker 2: of planning. On Sunday, I was at my parents' house

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Speaker 2: with her and my wife was not present. Katie expressed

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Speaker 2: that she was mad at me for getting married so

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Speaker 2: close to her wedding when I knew that this was

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Speaker 2: a big deal to her. She said I was unfairly

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Speaker 2: taking attention away from her. I told her that no,

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Speaker 2: this was always our plan and that the timing had

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Speaker 2: to do with when we could go on a certain

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Speaker 2: trip that we took time off work for. It had

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Speaker 2: nothing to do with her wedding. She then said that

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Speaker 2: since it's so close and not everyone in our family

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Speaker 2: knows about my marriage yet, we should not tell anyone

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Speaker 2: and not have my wife wear her ring. I told her,

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Speaker 2: she's absolutely ridiculous to think that my wife, a newly wed,

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Speaker 2: is not going to be wearing her wedding ring because

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Speaker 2: a bride is jealous. I didn't even relay this request

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Speaker 2: to my wife because it seems so ridiculous. Kate freaked out,

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Speaker 2: and then I found out she texted my wife yesterday

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Speaker 2: very passively, aggressively, saying it would be selfish for her

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Speaker 2: to wear it at the wedding in two weeks. My

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Speaker 2: wife hasn't responded and agrees with me that it's ridiculous,

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Speaker 2: but also doesn't want to ruffle feathers either. She's pretty

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Speaker 2: non confrontational. But now my parents are involved, saying they

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Speaker 2: agree Kate's request is dumb, but they kind of want

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Speaker 2: to keep the peace. Skipping the wedding isn't being discussed

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Speaker 2: before anyone suggests that, and Kate hasn't uninvited us either.

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Speaker 2: I'm a groomsman and our parents are paying, so she

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Speaker 2: can't really anyway. But it's causing some annoying tension. Am

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Speaker 2: I being unreasonable here? Neither my wife or I have

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Speaker 2: social media. I'm not planning to make any announcement. I'm

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Speaker 2: just saying my wife will be wearing her ring and

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Speaker 2: we aren't going to pretend we're not married. My extended

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Speaker 2: family isn't close, they're basically strangers to me, and my

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Speaker 2: sister's friends are more just friendly acquaintances, some that I

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Speaker 2: used to play sports with. None of them are people

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Speaker 2: I would consider friends or would invite to my own

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Speaker 2: wedding if I were to have one. People asking why

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Speaker 2: we didn't wait a while to get married. It's tough

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Speaker 2: to align our time off, and we want to purchase

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Speaker 2: a house together, but not before marriage. Interest rates in

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Speaker 2: the US are rising and are expecting to rise more

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Speaker 2: throughout the year. Establishing our lives together was our priority.

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Speaker 2: We were not thinking about someone else's wedding because we

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Speaker 2: don't think the guests will actually care. It's obviously Kate

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Speaker 2: and her fiance's day, and we don't think any of

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Speaker 2: the attention will actually be on us.

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Speaker 3: I don't like this woman. I think that it is

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Speaker 3: ridiculous for her to think that she can just like

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Speaker 3: be like, yeah, you're gonna take the spotlight from me

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Speaker 3: because you guys are you know, also married, Okay, and

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Speaker 3: so is like probably half the people in that room

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Speaker 3: are also married, Like, no one's going to take attention

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Speaker 3: away from you, like you guys are getting married actively

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Speaker 3: that day.

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Speaker 2: I do I think contextually everyone here is being a

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Speaker 2: little unreasonable. It's like it is kind of an unreasonable

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Speaker 2: ask from the sister, but in terms of like the

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Speaker 2: whole elopement has been a secret this whole time, and

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Speaker 2: there's also people in the family who don't know. It's

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Speaker 2: like if they do notice a ring and they're like,

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Speaker 2: what's going on with that? Then yeah, it does the

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Speaker 2: side show of the wedding then becomes oh well, also so, oh,

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Speaker 2: they're married, So it becomes like a thing where on

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Speaker 2: their wedding day people are also realizing and recognizing that

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Speaker 2: op is also married or got married. But it's like,

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Speaker 2: if you did the elopement because you don't care to

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Speaker 2: have the wedding and you don't care if your family

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Speaker 2: knows or not, then it also shouldn't matter for you

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Speaker 2: to just have one day where you just don't wear

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Speaker 2: your rings and don't bring up the fact that you're married.

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Speaker 3: That's true. You don't have to like act like you're

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Speaker 3: not married, like I don't even know.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to act like you don't like each other.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't mean that. It's just you know,

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Speaker 3: she doesn't want the attention taken away from her, which

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Speaker 3: I completely understand, But I also am like, who cares

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Speaker 3: what people like? Where? You know, like, I don't know,

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Speaker 3: I don't think anyone really gonna notice.

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Speaker 2: It's just the one thing that could possibly make your

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Speaker 2: sister's wedding less about her wedding and more about your

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Speaker 2: wedding that happened, because then people are gonna be like, well,

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Speaker 2: you've got married and didn't tell anybody, blah blah blah,

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Speaker 2: and then it's like, now, the whole conversation all day

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Speaker 2: is like, well, did you hear there was a secret

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Speaker 2: wedding instead of the wedding we're at right now, there

295
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Speaker 2: was a secret one that when no one was invited to.

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Speaker 2: It's just like and the one way to avoid all

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Speaker 2: that is just don't wear your rings that day. It's

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Speaker 2: a pretty simple solution.

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Speaker 3: I mean, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Update. Future brother in law called me last night saying

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Speaker 2: that Kate was embarrassed for how she was acting. He

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Speaker 2: agrees with me that our recent marriage won't be a

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00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,880
Speaker 2: major topic of discussion, and said, of course, my wife

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Speaker 2: can wear her ring and we don't have to act

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Speaker 2: like we aren't married. My dad made a point to

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Speaker 2: say he won't shine the spotlight on us during his

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Speaker 2: father of the bride speech, and we're not expecting others

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Speaker 2: to make note of it in their toasts either. We're

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Speaker 2: all good here, and that's the end of this story.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna go on to the next one.

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Speaker 3: I laughed at my sister's wedding invite and almost destroyed

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Speaker 3: our relationship.

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Speaker 2: This is clearly no laughing matter.

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Speaker 3: My sister, let's call her Hannah twenty nine female isn't

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Speaker 3: speaking to me twenty six female right now because I

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Speaker 3: RSVP'd no to her wedding in January. My mom wants

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Speaker 3: me to change my RSVP, but honestly, the wedding isn't

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Speaker 3: going to be possible for me to attend, and based

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Speaker 3: on how my sister is acting, I don't want to

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Speaker 3: go anymore. By the way, this comes from am I

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Speaker 3: the a whole throwaway nine nine zero and if you

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Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 3: slash Okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, and

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Speaker 3: we are here to give some good advice. Goofully. We

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Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only tell you what

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Speaker 3: we would do in this situation. But let us know

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Speaker 3: what your silly little mons would do down in them comments.

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Speaker 3: As Op says, ever since I hit puberty, I've had

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Speaker 3: really really, really, really really bad insomnia. I usually go

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Speaker 3: to bed around six am, seven am and wake up

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Speaker 3: around one pm two pm. I've tried to change my

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Speaker 3: sleep style and I just can't. It's like dealing with

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00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,520
Speaker 3: international jet lag. Hannah knows this, but always forgets and

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00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 3: tries to wake me up for family things whenever she

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00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,000
Speaker 3: visits home and I have to lock my bedroom door

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00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,960
Speaker 3: and really work to keep her out. When I got

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00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,320
Speaker 3: the invitation for Hannah's wedding, I was super excited for

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Speaker 3: her because she has always wanted a big wedding and

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00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,120
Speaker 3: it looks like she's going to get it. And that

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00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,560
Speaker 3: might not be what I want, Slash would want, but

341
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,200
Speaker 3: she does and that is exciting and I can acknowledge that.

342
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 3: But then I saw the timeline, and there's a wedding

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Speaker 3: brunch at ten am, the ceremony is at noon, and

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00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,440
Speaker 3: then there's an afternoon party. I asked Hannah if I

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00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,200
Speaker 3: could just come to the afternoon party since I would

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00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,560
Speaker 3: be sleeping at ten am, and she got furious and

347
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,360
Speaker 3: started yelling over the phone about how since I'm her sister,

348
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 3: I need to be there for the ceremony. I laughed

349
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 3: and told her there was no way I could be

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Speaker 3: there on time, because it would basically be like trying

351
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,720
Speaker 3: to get someone on a nine to five work schedule

352
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,560
Speaker 3: to attend an event at two am.

353
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 2: I probably shouldn't have Okay, so you're working nights, then.

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00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 3: No, she just has insomnia. This has nothing to do

355
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 3: with a job, nothing to do with anything that op

356
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,960
Speaker 3: just has really bad insomnia to where she sleeps. She

357
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,880
Speaker 3: goes to sleep at like six am or seven am

358
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Speaker 3: and then wakes up at like one pm and two pm.

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00:16:55,240 --> 00:17:01,320
Speaker 2: Well, okay, yeah, I don't know if that's necessarily insomnia

360
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,919
Speaker 2: because you are sleeping. Sounds like your sleep schedule is

361
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,159
Speaker 2: just horrific.

362
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, she said, she's like on international.

363
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 2: I don't like, I don't think Okay, well, well.

364
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,720
Speaker 3: No, like she hasn't tried, she said, she's comparing it

365
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:13,919
Speaker 3: to that.

366
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 2: Okay, so you don't have insomnia because you're sleeping every day.

367
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,159
Speaker 2: That's insomnia is you can't sleep.

368
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I guess, like maybe she.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, man, this is really riding the line

370
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Speaker 2: for me.

371
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

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00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 2: I feel like as an adult, you should be able

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Speaker 2: to just get somewhere at ten am. That's not a

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Speaker 2: big ask.

375
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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that's like it's very easy ask.

376
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 2: Actually, And I'm not a doctor, but I don't think

377
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Speaker 2: you have insomnia. I think you just have a really

378
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:39,640
Speaker 2: bad sleep schedule.

379
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 5: Yeah.

380
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd have to agree with that. I probably shouldn't

381
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,159
Speaker 3: have laughed, but it just felt so ridiculous if she

382
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 3: wanted me to be there for the whole thing, she

383
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 3: needed to plan for a time when I could actually attend.

384
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 3: I work a full time job as a freelancer, just

385
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,200
Speaker 3: not normal hours because of my insomnia. So it really

386
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 3: bugs me when people act like my time is worth

387
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 3: less than theirs. But now wedding preparations are happening at

388
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 3: the house, the brunch is going to be here, and

389
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,480
Speaker 3: my mom is really upset with me for not coming

390
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 3: to the wedding. She wants me to apologize to Hannah

391
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,600
Speaker 3: and be one of her bridesmaids. Hannah isn't speaking to

392
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 3: me at all, but she is speaking to our mom,

393
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 3: so maybe that is what she also wants. But I

394
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 3: just feel like she owes me the apology, not the

395
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,280
Speaker 3: other way around. But I might be wrong because this

396
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 3: is the first big, fancy wedding in our family, and

397
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,240
Speaker 3: maybe I need to suck it up because it's a

398
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 3: tradition to have a morning breakfast or something. Am I

399
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 3: the a hole? There is an edit? Okay, that was universal.

400
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:29,960
Speaker 3: I am the a hole.

401
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:31,880
Speaker 2: Yep.

402
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,160
Speaker 3: I will apologize to Hannah and ask if I can

403
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,440
Speaker 3: still attend the wedding. I think it is probably best

404
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 3: if I'm not a bridesmaid, but I can still put

405
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,720
Speaker 3: on address and show up even if I am tired.

406
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 3: Thank you to everyone that sent in medical tips. I'm

407
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,399
Speaker 3: realizing that I need to get a second opinion that

408
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,679
Speaker 3: isn't our family doctor, because she is actually kind of

409
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,639
Speaker 3: dismissive about my sleep issues. And I used to like

410
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,800
Speaker 3: that because she made my mom calm down and she

411
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 3: supported me with a doctor's note for online high school.

412
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,000
Speaker 3: But some of you mentioned high blood pressure and delayed

413
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 3: sleep phase disordh there is an update true.

414
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,639
Speaker 2: If you you really can't sleep right, yeah, go to

415
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,360
Speaker 2: a doc door yeah.

416
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:11,639
Speaker 3: And if this but if you is not working, yeah,

417
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 3: get a second opinion. There's enough take. I sat down

418
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,159
Speaker 3: and talked with my mom about the situation with Hannah,

419
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,119
Speaker 3: and it was rough, but I think she understands a

420
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,199
Speaker 3: little better now where I was coming from and is

421
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 3: going to help me find a sleep specialist to go to.

422
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 3: I asked her if she thought I should call Hannah

423
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,000
Speaker 3: directly or if she should talk to her first, and

424
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 3: she said I should do it. So I tried calling,

425
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,919
Speaker 3: but she didn't pick up, so I sent her an

426
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,679
Speaker 3: apology text. No response yet, but I said sorry for

427
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 3: laughing and for acting self centered, and that if she

428
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,199
Speaker 3: would still have me at the wedding. I would be

429
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 3: happy to attend, but that I probably shouldn't be a bridesmaid,

430
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,119
Speaker 3: but I could do other things at the wedding, like

431
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 3: pass out stuff and that I just want to make

432
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,239
Speaker 3: sure she has a good time. I don't know if

433
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,360
Speaker 3: she will forgive me, but I do feel better now

434
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 3: that I am trying. I have also been watching a

435
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,120
Speaker 3: lot of videos on sleep rhythm disorders, and a lot

436
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,640
Speaker 3: of symptoms in my life make more sense now. So seriously,

437
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 3: a big thank you to everyone who gave me tips

438
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 3: and ideas for what to search and what to ask

439
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 3: my new sleep doctor once I find one. With my mom,

440
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,199
Speaker 3: there's a second update.

441
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, yeah, it's so good.

442
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 3: We're on the right track.

443
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:10,679
Speaker 2: I like all this.

444
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,120
Speaker 3: Yay, so we're getting the sleep thing figured out. I

445
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 3: think that's that's good, Like you should because it doesn't

446
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 3: seem like insomnia to me, because you're still sleeping. Insomnia's

447
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,679
Speaker 3: like when you can't sleep. So I don't know what

448
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 3: kind of sleep disorder you have that's making you like

449
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 3: sleep way later in the night basically the morning, but

450
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 3: you're still getting like the you know, regular sleeps and

451
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 3: cycle just.

452
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 2: Later, regardless of whatever sleep thing you have, Like that

453
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that everyone in your life has to then

454
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 2: work around that.

455
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 3: Yes, means that you need to.

456
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 2: Work around it within your own existence to show up,

457
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 2: you know, for a ten am brunch for your sister's wedding.

458
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,920
Speaker 3: Yeah. Update number two. First off, it was a big

459
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 3: eye opening to see that so many people thought I

460
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 3: was the a hole, and after reading your comments, I

461
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 3: agree with you. Yes, I have been living a kind

462
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 3: of sheltered life and I wasn't thinking about the wedding

463
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 3: the way I should have. I was kind of viewing

464
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 3: it as a big party, more like a birthday party

465
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 3: than a once in a lifetime event, and that was

466
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,479
Speaker 3: a mistake. Hannah asked me if I could get coffee

467
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:14,879
Speaker 3: with her outside of the house, and I was a

468
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 3: little surprised that she wanted to meet that way, but

469
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 3: I obviously said yes. I was getting really worried that

470
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 3: she wasn't going to respond at all, But I think

471
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,439
Speaker 3: that was the best decision ever, because Hannah and I

472
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 3: had a great conversation. It was kind of intense, but

473
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 3: I think really necessary about some stuff that happened when

474
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,399
Speaker 3: we were kids. In our relationship with her mom. I

475
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 3: won't go into all of it here, but Hannah apologized

476
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 3: for trying to wake me up whenever she visited. I

477
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 3: apologize for laughing about her wedding, and we both agreed

478
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 3: that I need to a talk to more doctors and

479
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 3: b move out of our mother's house. We grew up

480
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 3: pretty sheltered, and I hadn't realized how much it was

481
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 3: impacting my mood and energy until Hannah started talking about

482
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,680
Speaker 3: what she experienced when she moved out and went to college.

483
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 3: She left home pretty early at sixteen, so we really

484
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 3: didn't know each other as adults much at all. Hannah

485
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 3: told me that when she first moved out, everything got

486
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 3: eat easier with our mother, and she started going to

487
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 3: therapy and got really into fitness and nutrition, and she

488
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,360
Speaker 3: realized that she felt a lot better with less contact

489
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 3: with our family. But she also got really worried about

490
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 3: me being left home and wanted to check up on me.

491
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 3: Slash encouraged me to move out too, but didn't know

492
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 3: how to communicate that, particularly since I was always sleeping

493
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 3: when she was over.

494
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 2: Communicate that via the dream world. Yeah you're doing it, Yeah,

495
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 2: we're doing it.

496
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 3: You're getting less a holy by the minute. I have

497
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 3: some money saved from freelancing and saving on rent, so

498
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,359
Speaker 3: I am going to think about different places to move to.

499
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 3: My job can be done from anywhere, so now that

500
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,439
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about moving out, it feels weird that I

501
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 3: was so stuck in my high school routine that I

502
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 3: didn't even consider any other options. My sleeping schedule is

503
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 3: still super effed up. But Hannah has a friend who

504
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 3: is a nutritionist that is willing to do a consult

505
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,919
Speaker 3: with me over zoom, so that's something I'm going to

506
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 3: do next week. I called my family doctor and asked

507
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 3: for referrals, but the only available appointment slot is like

508
00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:00,119
Speaker 3: two months out, and I'm not sure if I I

509
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 3: will even be in the state at that point, so

510
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 3: I didn't pook it yet, but I'm definitely going to

511
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 3: try and get a medical team once I know what

512
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 3: my plans are.

513
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

514
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 1: on to the next one.

515
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 2: My sister burned through her entire college fund in four months,

516
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 2: and now they want mine.

517
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 4: Where did it go?

518
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 2: I twenty four female, have four siblings, Max thirty one male,

519
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 2: Elisa twenty female, Chris twenty male, and Emily eighteen female.

520
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 2: Emily is disabled, and because of that, my parents dedicated

521
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 2: themselves one hundred percent to her, leaving the rest of

522
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 2: us to fend for ourselves. By the way, this comes

523
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,439
Speaker 2: from user deleted, and if you want to submit your

524
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime. Subur

525
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 2: to it.

526
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly.

527
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 2: We're here to give good advice. We won't talk about

528
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 2: this story, but we don't have all the answers to everything.

529
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 2: We are only the people we are, and we only

530
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 2: know what we know. So tell us the things you

531
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 2: know in the comments right now before you even listen.

532
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: Tell me everything you know, and Op says when Max

533
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 2: left for college, which I became the main caregiver for

534
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,159
Speaker 2: my siblings and all household chores were my responsibility. I

535
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 2: want to make it clear that Emily's disability does not

536
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,199
Speaker 2: stop her from functioning like any other person, and she

537
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 2: doesn't require any assistance or supervision or twenty four to

538
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 2: seven care. However, my parents have always spoiled her rotten,

539
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 2: and she is very rude, mean, and entitled. My parents

540
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 2: raised her with the mentality that her disability means she's

541
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 2: allowed to do whatever, and everyone needs to bend over

542
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 2: backwards for her. My grandparents passed away three years ago

543
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:36,719
Speaker 2: and I inherited everything, approximately six million dollars. Theave you everything.

544
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 2: They were very well off. I know the reasons I

545
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 2: received all of it is because when my grandparents were sick,

546
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 2: Max contacted them after almost ten years of silence because

547
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 2: he wanted to know how much he will receive. I'm

548
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 2: no contact with him. By the way. They were very

549
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 2: aware of how my mom treated me and my siblings,

550
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 2: and she was disowned. They were very religious, and Lisa

551
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: came out as by at fourteen and Chris came out

552
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 2: as a lover of men at seventeen. I went no

553
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 2: contact with my parents after I moved for college, and

554
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 2: when Lisa and Chris started college, I offered to cover

555
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,159
Speaker 2: all of their living and educational expenses as long as

556
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 2: they do well in school. They gladly accept it. I

557
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 2: also helped my bff, lowla female twenty one, start her

558
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 2: own business. I haven't spoken to my parents in six years,

559
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 2: and I haven't blocked them. They just never called or texted.

560
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 2: This year, Emily started college and she burned through all

561
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 2: of her college fund in less than four months, because

562
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 2: she is a spoiled brat and bags were more important

563
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 2: than rent. In addition, she is doing horrible in school

564
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 2: because she isn't even attending her classes and she will

565
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 2: most likely be expelled or held back. My mom called

566
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 2: me two weeks ago not to ask, but demand that

567
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 2: I do for her the same I do for Lisa

568
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 2: and Chris. I said no, because growing up I was

569
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 2: literally a servant for her and my parents. I'm helping

570
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 2: Lisa and Chris because they are the only ones that

571
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 2: treated me as family. I ended the call by telling

572
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 2: her that for eighteen years, Emily was their only kid,

573
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,400
Speaker 2: so now they have no right to demand anything from

574
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 2: the kids they practically abandoned. Now I'm getting crap from

575
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 2: everyone except Lisa and Chris because I'm causing unnecessary drama.

576
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,479
Speaker 2: I'm causing a rift between Emily and her siblings. Emily

577
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 2: will be the only one without a degree. It's not

578
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 2: really in my money. It's my grandparents and they would

579
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 2: want me to help her, then why didn't they leave

580
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,920
Speaker 2: anything to her. Family is family and I should help

581
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 2: my little sister, which I also don't buy into that crap.

582
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 2: It's not her fault. That my parents were bad parents

583
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: to me. True, but she doesn't do anything to change

584
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 2: her behavior. Well, your parents were also bad to her

585
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 2: as well. To be clear, parents would sound like they

586
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 2: were bad to all of you. Yeah, enabling her behavior

587
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 2: is included in that you know, spectrum of bad parenting

588
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 2: from your parents. But yeah, I think it's crazy. The

589
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 2: solution to the person who's just blowing all of their

590
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 2: money and not taking school seriously is to just give

591
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,159
Speaker 2: them an unlimited resource of money that's just gonna make

592
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,400
Speaker 2: all their problems worse. Well, she is disabled, and it's

593
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 2: not okay to scriminate. What are you talking about? Literally,

594
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 2: what are you talking about? I feel like I'm doing

595
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 2: the right thing, but everyone is telling me that I'm not.

596
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 2: So am I the ale? No? Now give me a

597
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 2: million dollars. No, you're not.

598
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 4: Will we give you your verdict? If you give us

599
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 4: a million dollars.

600
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 2: I'll tell you whatever you want, and.

601
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 4: I will be chat Gibt and I will just agree

602
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 4: with you.

603
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 2: I'll literally tell you the skies on the ground and

604
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: upside down.

605
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 3: This is people rule the world anyway, use it or.

606
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 2: No, you're doing the right thing. I think you should

607
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 2: probably go to therapy to reconcile the feelings that you

608
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 2: have about this, you know, abandonment and stuff. But yeah,

609
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 2: I don't know.

610
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I certainly don't think you should just give

611
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 4: her money because she's blowing through her own savings. If

612
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 4: something happened, you go to therapy, you decide you want

613
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 4: to certainly like set an amount and don't go over

614
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 4: that amount, because don't don't just give in to her

615
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 4: like she's always been given. I think that won't help

616
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 4: if you.

617
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 2: Do give her anything. I think you should give her,

618
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 2: like you said, just like an exact amount and you

619
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 2: say this is the last money. Yeah, because ever beginning

620
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 2: for me for this, Yeah, you.

621
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 4: Have six million dollars you could afford to if you

622
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 4: wanted to. You do not have to, and you maybe

623
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 4: even shouldn't. But with the thing of like, you will

624
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 4: not see another penny. Use this wisely uses to get

625
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 4: your degree and then I'm out. Maybe we can become

626
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 4: family again in the future, but I'm out for now.

627
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's an editor. I received lots of messages with

628
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 2: questions and a few asked in the comments about my

629
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 2: sister's disabilities. So I'm gonna answer some questions. What disability

630
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,359
Speaker 2: does she have? I don't know. My parents never told me.

631
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 2: You don't know, and when anyone asked, they would get

632
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 2: very defensive. Can't Emily get governmental assistants? No, because she

633
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 2: doesn't have documentation that it tests she is disabled. I

634
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 2: remember my parents fighting about taking my sister to different

635
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 2: doctors because they all refused to sign off that she

636
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 2: was disabled. Why doesn't the rest of the family pay

637
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 2: for her because they are living paycheck to paycheck, because

638
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 2: they would spend thousands on buying Emily whatever she wanted.

639
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 2: Why can't my parents continue paying because Emily's spending problem

640
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 2: got worse since she left home and the rest of

641
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 2: the family is no longer in the position to give

642
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 2: them money. Also, my dad got in a work accident

643
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 2: a few months ago and he was forced to retire,

644
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 2: so now their income has significantly reduced. How can someone

645
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: spend that much? It's simple. She renewed her closet, purchased

646
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 2: a very expensive car, and just partied until she dropped.

647
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, don't give her money.

648
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 2: Don't give her anything.

649
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's your car.

650
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 2: I don't know if she's disabled or if your parents

651
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 2: just like told her that she was gave her anything

652
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 2: she wanted for her entire life, and now she's just

653
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 2: a selfish, spoiled brat.

654
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 4: Are your parents' scientists and were they doing a social experiment? Yes?

655
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 2: For reference, my parents have high paying jobs, and Emily's

656
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 2: college fund was around five hundred and eighty seven thousand

657
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: dollars when I left for college.

658
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 4: You're kidding me, even the most expensive colleges that I know,

659
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 4: that is pretty much enough for four years.

660
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 2: She spent almost six hundred thousand dollars in four months.

661
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I forgot it was four months. Well, yeah,

662
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 4: she bought a fancy car. Yeah.

663
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 2: I don't give her anything. In fact, take her out

664
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 2: of school. She needs a caretaker, She needs someone around her.

665
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 2: She can't be trusted to take care of herself. If

666
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 2: she's able to do that, that's insane. Did me and

667
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 2: my siblings have a college fund? No, We all worked

668
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,479
Speaker 2: our butts off to get scholarships so we could go.

669
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 2: And I do have a will in place. If anything

670
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 2: happens to me, all the assets will be split equally

671
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 2: between Lisa, Chris, Lola, and an organization fighting for wildlife.

672
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 2: FYI writing these, I'm starting to question if my sister

673
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 2: is actually disabled. Or if it was just what my

674
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 2: parents wanted to believe. I mean, if no doctor would

675
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 2: declare her disabled, is she really My family thinks she's

676
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 2: disabled because she didn't learn how to walk until she

677
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 2: was five, and she didn't talk until she was seven.

678
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 2: Maybe she was just a slow developer. I know someone

679
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 2: who didn't talk for a long time.

680
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, but Keon could talk. He just chose not to.

681
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 2: He just said, m.

682
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 4: My mom's a physical therapist. So I feel like I've

683
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 4: I've heard stories about a lot of like developmental delays

684
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 4: and stuff and people just automatically being like, ugh, well

685
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 4: they've got a disability. This is gonna set them back forever,

686
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 4: like they're always going to be behind. And most of

687
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 4: the time, like if they actually just work and get

688
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 4: the therapy and the help that they need, like there

689
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 4: is a very good chance of them living completely normal lives,

690
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 4: like even being on sports teams and doing really good

691
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 4: at it. And it's like the parents just and that

692
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 4: is not all cases. Some cases it is truly a

693
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 4: disability for life. But it's like if she's not getting

694
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 4: the help because they're just coddling her and just telling

695
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 4: her to use it, like she might have totally grown

696
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 4: out of that like disability or.

697
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 6: That like I think she did like just by herself.

698
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 6: It was like she couldn't walk until she didn't talk

699
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 6: until she was seven, right, and then for the rest

700
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 6: of her life.

701
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 2: We were like, you're disabled.

702
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 4: Right, So and sometimes you see parents that are just like, yeah,

703
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 4: they were disabled when they were little, so they just

704
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 4: are now.

705
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:04,719
Speaker 6: Yeah.

706
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 2: The doctors are like, they're not five or seven anymore.

707
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 2: I'm not.

708
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 4: Teach them and they will do it. And in some cases,

709
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 4: guys I know, don't come for me please.

710
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 2: So final little update here, a little funny thing. My

711
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 2: favorite uncle called me a couple hours after I made

712
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 2: this post to tell me to block my family because

713
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 2: they have come up with a plan to get me

714
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 2: to pay. He didn't know what the plan was. He

715
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 2: just heard a portion of the conversation between my mom

716
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 2: and my aunt, and just like he said, my mom

717
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 2: called a few minutes later to tell me Emily is pregnant,

718
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 2: so I need to help her because if I don't,

719
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 2: I'm damaging my niece and nephew. I started crying with

720
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 2: how hard I was laughing, and I just told her

721
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 2: to f off. I blocked them all but seriously fake

722
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 2: a pregnancy.

723
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: Come on, And that's the end of this story. We're

724
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: gonna go on to the next one.

725
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 4: My friend's birthday dinner cost us triple what we expected.

726
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 4: We refuse to pay for it.

727
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 3: Oh but it's a breathday. Come on.

728
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 4: My wife and I were invited to a major city

729
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 4: to celebrate a friend's fortieth. There were two days in

730
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 4: the schedule, but we could only attend one because of

731
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 4: my work schedule. We went to a fancy dinner and

732
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 4: expected it to be over the top and expensive because

733
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 4: it's their fortieth and they have high paying jobs and

734
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 4: like to splurge. By the way, this comes from Johnny Salad,

735
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

736
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

737
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 5: I'm Carly and.

738
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 3: I'm Savannah, and we're here to give good advice.

739
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 4: Goofily, But we don't have all the answers. We only

740
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 4: know we would do. I just know what you would do.

741
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 4: In the comments, and Opie says, we met everyone at

742
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 4: dinner at a fancy restaurant and found out it was

743
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 4: family style, six course meal.

744
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 3: When the check.

745
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 4: Came, our friend's wife put it all on her card.

746
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 4: And we assumed the bill would be split up afterwards.

747
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 4: We knew it would be expensive, but we were okay

748
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 4: with it.

749
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: We went out for.

750
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 4: Drinks after slept at our hotel well and drove back

751
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 4: the next day. Today, our friend's wife messages us that

752
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 4: the total minus tax and gratuity split between the thirteen

753
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 4: of us was five hundred and forty per person. We

754
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,839
Speaker 4: figured on the high end we'd spend maybe half of

755
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 4: that for both of us. We really thought more like

756
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 4: three hundred total for both of us, based on the

757
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 4: quality of the food. I'm pretty offended that it wasn't

758
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 4: communicated ahead of time that this meal was going to

759
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 4: be an effing mortgage payment.

760
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,359
Speaker 3: What do I do here?

761
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 4: Edit one says, we expect to spend a lot of

762
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 4: money going out with these friends. We have gone out

763
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 4: several times where an evening cost us between two hundred

764
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 4: and fifty and three hundred per couple, but never anything

765
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:47,320
Speaker 4: like eleven hundred just for dinner. Edit too, thanks everyone

766
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 4: for the comments. This got a much bigger response than

767
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 4: I thought it would. I want to respond to some

768
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 4: common comments here. We truly did not expect the host

769
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 4: to pay for dinner based on previous events and dinners

770
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 4: with this grow, we expected to pay for our own

771
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 4: meal and drinks. When the bill came, the host birthday

772
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 4: boy's wife grabbed the bill and paid it with her card.

773
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 4: We were surprised that it looked like she was paying,

774
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 4: But now a couple of days later, she's sending out

775
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 4: bills to the couples for their portion of.

776
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 5: An even split of the dinner.

777
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 4: It was not discussed that there would be only one

778
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 4: check for the group.

779
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 3: Wait, so they just dispersed it evenly.

780
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 4: I'm wondering if they all ordered about the same or

781
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 4: what does it seem like it. I'm also, yeah, I

782
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 4: think most of that is probably drinks.

783
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,719
Speaker 3: I would think maybe.

784
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 5: You'd have to think.

785
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 4: Some of our other friends who came with us and

786
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 4: we're in on all the same communications leading up to

787
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 4: this dinner were also completely surprised by the total amount

788
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 4: of the meal. If it matters, they are very well

789
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 4: off and still got sticker shock. This is validating for

790
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 4: me because they've been with us in this group for

791
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 4: many dinners with this couple and also did not expect

792
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 4: this outcome. They got a bill for both nights that

793
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:04,720
Speaker 4: totaled just shy of two thousand for food and drinks

794
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 4: on tabs that were paid at the time by the

795
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 4: host couple. For those saying we should have asked ahead

796
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 4: of time, I guess this is where I get hung up.

797
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 4: We were anticipating a range based on many meals with

798
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 4: this group, including birthday dinners. Why would we reach out

799
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 4: to the host and ask this isn't going to cost

800
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,720
Speaker 4: us more than one thousand dollars, is it? When every

801
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:29,320
Speaker 4: past experience was substantially lower sixty to seventy percent less.

802
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 4: We haven't asked for an itemized receipt yet, but looked

803
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 4: up the cost of the family style dinner per person

804
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 4: based on what we ate slush drink. Our total would

805
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 4: come to write around seven hundred. To be honest, I

806
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 4: would have been surprised by that amount, but we're being

807
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 4: asked to pay four hundred more than that, and I think,

808
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 4: as many have pointed out, we are getting charged for others'

809
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 4: wine choices. We will either just send that amount or

810
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 4: asked for an itemized receipt as many have recommended. I

811
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 4: believe our next course is, as many have recommended, to

812
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 4: pay for what we had and distance ourselves from these people,

813
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 4: or just never accept another invitation. I think it's totally

814
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 4: valid to be like, hey, this shocked me a little bit.

815
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 4: Is this itemized like if we only had a bottle

816
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 4: of wine and our meals, Like it's like we're just

817
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 4: not making that much, Like we're not in a spot

818
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 4: to do this right now.

819
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like that's reasonable.

820
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 4: I should understand if people are like not as well

821
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 4: off as them, Yes.

822
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 3: Like, you know, I don't know. I sometimes I like

823
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 3: to splurge, but I understand like some of my friends

824
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 3: are like I cannot splurge right now, and I'm like, no,

825
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 3: I get it, Like I couldn't splurge last month, but

826
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: now I can't, you know. So it's kind of like

827
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 3: depending on the situation where they are in their life,

828
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 3: but also splitting the bill thirteen ways evenly when like

829
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 3: it's like I didn't have four drinks. I had one

830
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 3: drink and a meal, So why am I paying for

831
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 3: three more drinks that I didn't have? You know, there's

832
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 3: something so crazy. I think it's totally valid to ask.

833
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 3: I wonder too, how much of that is them splitting

834
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 3: up like birthday boys drinks, which might be a little

835
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 3: bit harder to get around if it was like sometimes

836
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 3: friend groups just automatically pay for like the birthday person. Yeah,

837
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 3: I do that.

838
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 4: I'd still want to know what was happening.

839
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be like can I see their receipt? I

840
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 3: definitely would ask for the receipt.

841
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 4: I'd be like, whoa, that was it so high?

842
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 3: What do we Yeah, I'd be like I'd like make

843
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 3: a joke out of be like, oh my god, well

844
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 3: here could I give you like half of my house?

845
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 3: Does that work?

846
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 5: You know?

847
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:35,360
Speaker 4: Like?

848
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 5: Oh?

849
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 4: Edit three, My wife contacted at the restaurant and it

850
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:43,720
Speaker 4: turns out that there is a minimum per person charge

851
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:47,760
Speaker 4: that works out to five hundred and thirty after tax

852
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 4: and gratuity for reservations the size of our group.

853
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 5: This is two.

854
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 4: Hundred per person more than we consumed, and the host

855
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 4: never told us about it, even when contacting us for payment.

856
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 4: The host would have been aware prior to inviting us

857
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 4: because she would have had to agree to it for

858
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 4: the size of the group. The restaurant doesn't do reservations

859
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 4: for that size party and has to make special arrangements.

860
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 4: And we have an update that's.

861
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 3: Crazy, Wow, I mean what is this restaurant? Like it

862
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,919
Speaker 3: must have been like divine meals from like I don't

863
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 3: know beyond.

864
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 4: Meals from beyond, Like like who's making this?

865
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 3: Like you know, Jesus Christ himself, Like I don't understand.

866
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 4: Yes, that is who we My wife and I wish

867
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 4: we had done more research. Of course we didn't, because

868
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 4: we've gone to plenty of expensive to us meals with

869
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 4: this couple for anywhere from one hundred to three hundred,

870
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 4: with three hundred being the absolute most we've ever spent,

871
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 4: and have an expectation that our friends would communicate if

872
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 4: something was going to be substantially different than what we're

873
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 4: used to our mistake. The majority of comments mirrored our

874
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 4: feelings that this minimum, or even the average ticket price

875
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 4: of the restaurant, should have been communicate by the host

876
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 4: ahead of time, and that this lack of communication is

877
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 4: bizarre and pretty tacky. There were lots of comments saying

878
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 4: we should have looked up the menu, et cetera, and obviously,

879
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 4: in hindsight we wish we had, but the reality is

880
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 4: that even if we had looked at the menu, this was,

881
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,839
Speaker 4: unbeknownst to us, a special event, and our host had

882
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 4: selected a preset menu with a table minimum that they

883
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 4: did not communicate to us or anyone else. Other guests

884
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 4: in our group were just as surprised by the final amount.

885
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 4: Many other comments said not to pay them at all,

886
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 4: which I could not seriously consider. Even though I'm upset

887
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 4: by the situation, I totally intended to pay our own way,

888
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,760
Speaker 4: just not to be stuck paying for other people's expensive tastes,

889
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 4: which is why we ended up texting the host that

890
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 4: we were very surprised by the total price and asked

891
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 4: to see a copy of the receipt. To her credit,

892
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,760
Speaker 4: she sent it right away. It confirmed the minimum price

893
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 4: for the table, and that others in the group had

894
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 4: ordered very expensive wine and drinks that brought the overall

895
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 4: bill up to and above the minimum.

896
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 3: I mean, that's crazy. I don't think this like, I

897
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 3: don't know. I feel like this couldn't have been avoided

898
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 3: either way, because if you like, like, who's gonna look

899
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 3: up you know, like, if you look up the menu,

900
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 3: it's not gonna say like, oh, by the way, if

901
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 3: you have more parties or more more than whatever in

902
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 3: your party, it's gonna be a charge of this whatever.

903
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 4: Not something i'd think to look up exactly.

904
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,720
Speaker 3: So I feel like this wasn't something that you could

905
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 3: like really lock up unless you called the restaurant, but

906
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 3: like who does that, like, you know, especially if it's

907
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:32,240
Speaker 3: like yeah, you know they wait, they've done this before

908
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 3: and this is just never happened. It's like a one

909
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 3: time thing and it's like, oh what, so it just

910
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 3: should have told you. The host should have said something.

911
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 3: And also like I don't know, I don't think it

912
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 3: really needed to be like this whole big thing. But

913
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 3: maybe that's you know, that's just how they are. But

914
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 3: this was like extremely big.

915
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 4: We added up our total, which hilariously comes to six

916
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 4: hundred and sixty six dollars, So that's what we're sending them,

917
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 4: approximately four hundred and thirty less than what they initially requested.

918
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 4: Not sure where this leaves the friendship, but we won't

919
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 4: be accepting dinner invitations anytime soon. My wife and I

920
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 4: had a blast reading your responses and appreciate all of

921
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 4: your perspectives. We'll be cooking dinner at home for a while.

922
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 4: And that's the end of that story.

923
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Keon, your favorite Filipino here.

924
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's

925
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

926
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,800
Speaker 3: My best friend kept meeting my ex behind my back,

927
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 3: so I cut her off completely.

928
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, cut him off too, if he's not I.

929
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,800
Speaker 3: Thirty seven female left my husband thirty eight male, earlier

930
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 3: this year after after discovering he was cheating on me

931
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 3: with someone from his workplace. We were together for twelve years,

932
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 3: married for eight, and I truly thought we were solid.

933
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 3: Finding out he was sneaking around lying to me for

934
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 3: months was the most gut wrenching thing I've ever experienced.

935
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 3: I found out over Christmas last year. By the way,

936
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 3: this comes from divers Spirited seventy six thirty three and

937
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:00,800
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your her own stories, go

938
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 3: to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah,

939
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 3: I'm Carly, and we are here to give you some

940
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 3: advice in a funny manner, and we want you to

941
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,280
Speaker 3: comment and tell us if you like this funny manner,

942
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 3: and then also tell us that what you would do,

943
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 3: and also tell us what you would do in a

944
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,879
Speaker 3: funny manner down in the comments. As Opie says, when

945
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 3: I decided to leave, I asked my friends for one

946
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 3: simple favor, Please don't maintain a relationship with him. I

947
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 3: didn't think it was unreasonable. He betrayed me, and I

948
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 3: needed my friends to have my back as I tried

949
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 3: to pick up the pieces of my life. Most of

950
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:39,280
Speaker 3: them understood, but one of my closest friends, Sarah thirty eight, female,

951
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 3: completely ignored my request. Here's the thing. Sarah and I

952
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 3: have been friends for over fifteen years, but she's always

953
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,760
Speaker 3: had a weird dynamic when it came to my relationships.

954
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 3: She used to make comments about how she was jealous

955
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 3: that I always ended up with the good looking guys,

956
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 3: and would sometimes joke that she had a connection with

957
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:03,399
Speaker 3: my ex before he and I got together. I used

958
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,760
Speaker 3: to laugh it off, even though it made me feel belittled,

959
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 3: thinking she didn't mean anything by it, But now I'm

960
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 3: not so sure. After the split, I started noticing Sarah

961
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 3: acting strangely. She'd casually drop things into conversations that only

962
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,800
Speaker 3: my ex would know, like details about his new job

963
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,359
Speaker 3: or what he's been up to lately. When I asked

964
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 3: her about it, she brushed it off and said she

965
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,839
Speaker 3: read it on his social media. Eventually, a mutual friend

966
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,959
Speaker 3: told me Sarah had been texting him regularly and even

967
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 3: meeting for coffee. When I confronted her, She admitted it

968
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 3: but tried to downplay it, saying we were friends long

969
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 3: before you and him got together. She said, I'm not

970
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 3: going to throw away my connection with him just because

971
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 3: you two didn't work out. What hurt even more was

972
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 3: when she added, I don't get why you're so upset.

973
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 3: He's still a great guy and you need to stop

974
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 3: being so controlling. She said I was being too emotional

975
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 3: about the divorce and accused me of forcing her to

976
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 3: pick sides. Well, yeah, if you're a true friend, gonna

977
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 3: pick my side no matter what, unless like I cheated

978
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 3: and did something, but no, he did. Why are you

979
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 3: defending this guy who betrayed me in more ways than one? Like,

980
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 3: what make it make sense?

981
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 4: I'm fully just like, stay neutral if you want to

982
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 4: keep being friends with both of them, don't be bringing

983
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:18,839
Speaker 4: up my ex and then don't be flirting with him

984
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 4: and being like, well we were like always really close. No,

985
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 4: you're not neutral at that point. Yeah, Like, stay neutral,

986
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 4: be on my side, but like, don't come here being

987
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 4: like I'm gonna defend your cheating X.

988
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 5: Yeah.

989
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 3: No, trying to defend him is crazy after he cheated

990
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 3: on me. What, yeah, you're saying, I'm too emotional after

991
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:42,240
Speaker 3: being betrayed after twelve years have been together. Grow up, literally,

992
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 3: grow up. Then she told me to stop always being

993
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 3: the victim. Here's what really hurts none of those did.

994
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 3: I don't know what she's been telling him about me.

995
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 3: I confide it in Sarah about everything, how hard it's

996
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 3: been to start over, how anxious I feel about my finances,

997
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 3: and how much I've struggled with therapy. The thought that

998
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,320
Speaker 3: she might have shared these deeply those deeply personal things

999
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 3: with the man who destroyed me makes me sick. I

1000
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 3: told her I couldn't trust her anymore, and I stopped

1001
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,800
Speaker 3: speaking to her. Now she's texting me saying she misses

1002
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,479
Speaker 3: our friendship and thinks I'm being unreasonable for cutting her off.

1003
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 3: So am I the a hole for walking away from Sarah?

1004
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 3: Was I too harsh? Or did she cross a major line? Here?

1005
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 5: She crossed a line. You can block her, You're fine.

1006
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 3: She jumped off that line.

1007
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 5: She she was dancing on that line.

1008
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:32,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, she literally erased that line and said what line? No,

1009
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:35,359
Speaker 3: she went like cover her guys, well line literally like

1010
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 3: she doesn't even know what a line is. Yeah, Like

1011
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 3: she completely crossed the line and completely invaded your life

1012
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 3: like that, you know, has nothing to do with her,

1013
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 3: and her being friends with your ex that literally betrayed

1014
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 3: you is crazy and it's crazy for her to think

1015
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 3: that that's like, this is an okay friendship. Well I

1016
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 3: was friends before. No, you weren't, and if even if

1017
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 3: you were, why would you, like, I want to be

1018
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 3: friends now that you know that he did all this

1019
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 3: stuff to me? Huh, so you're friends with like, you know,

1020
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 3: an evil man? Congratulations? Like what?

1021
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 5: Yeh?

1022
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 4: Check out your morals?

1023
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's an update. Sarah sent me a long text

1024
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 3: message this week December twenty twenty four, apologizing and wanting

1025
00:47:16,719 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 3: to regain my trust. She said that she missed me

1026
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 3: and wanted to know what she could do. After considering

1027
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:24,800
Speaker 3: her words, which on the surface sounded sincere, and remembering

1028
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:27,839
Speaker 3: everything that was said on this comment thread, I wrote

1029
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 3: back a reply that, in essence, said, I don't trust you.

1030
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 3: I don't see a path forward. You have hurt me

1031
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:34,839
Speaker 3: deeply and betrayed my trust, and I do not want

1032
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 3: to try and reconcile.

1033
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 4: You know that you don't need her in your life anymore.

1034
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's not worth it. She sounds rude.

1035
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, she sounds exhausting, and I wouldn't trust her as

1036
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 3: far as I can throw her.

1037
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 5: No, not at all. Never heard that saying before, but.

1038
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 3: Really, oh my gosh that I like it.

1039
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 4: Naturally agreed because I knew what it meant. But then

1040
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,760
Speaker 4: I was like, as far as I could throw her, Yeah.

1041
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 5: That's what.

1042
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I grew up. I will never I

1043
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 3: don't trust her as far as I can throw her,

1044
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 3: which is not funny.

1045
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got you, but I'm glad you understood it

1046
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:07,319
Speaker 4: like I got it.

1047
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 3: I would just like, was like, I don't know if

1048
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 3: that's a Midwest saying or something, but yeah, I don't know.

1049
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 3: Let's see her reply back. And the final nail in

1050
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 3: the coffin of what I thought was a sincere friendship

1051
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 3: was to attack me, bring up old sins from the

1052
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 3: past that were gone and buried, saying she only did

1053
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 3: what she did because she was angry for something she

1054
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 3: said I did years ago and tried to minimize what

1055
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:35,920
Speaker 3: she had done or deflect blame.

1056
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 4: So, instead of being an adult and bringing up adult

1057
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 4: feelings that we had in the past, we instead decided

1058
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 4: to consistently flirt with our husband turned ex. Sounds really

1059
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 4: adult and really healthy.

1060
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a choice that she made and she has

1061
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 3: to do with it.

1062
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 5: And got that is sorry, cousin. Please understand that.

1063
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 3: That's sword, cousin. It was mean and petty, and after

1064
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 3: I read it, I closed the mesage and just simply

1065
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 3: carried on with my life. Part of leaving my cheating

1066
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 3: husband was coming to terms with who I am and

1067
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 3: what kind of treatment I am willing to tolerate. I

1068
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 3: don't need friends like her, and I'm at a place

1069
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 3: of peace about how this turned out. I didn't lose

1070
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 3: a friend. I gained some self respect. Wow, how you did? Okay,

1071
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 3: how you do? Opee? I am rooting for you because

1072
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 3: that was an amazing way to end that. And I

1073
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 3: got chills just from reading that, because that was like

1074
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 3: ooh boom, that is the last, like last line. Uh,

1075
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 3: how good?

1076
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 5: Good on Euop, you know what's up.

1077
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1078
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:36,720
Speaker 1: on to the next one.

1079
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:40,399
Speaker 4: My friend promised to stay a few months. Now he's

1080
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 4: planning for kids in my house.

1081
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,800
Speaker 3: Duh, I don't want your kids, buddy.

1082
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 4: My buddy forty eight Mail and I thirty Mail have

1083
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 4: been friends for twelve years. And live together for five

1084
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,879
Speaker 4: with my now wife. My friend has had his share

1085
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 4: of financial issues and often couch surfed until I let

1086
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 4: him stay with me. By the way, this comes from

1087
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 4: Happenstance made eighty seven and if you want to submit

1088
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 4: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1089
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 3: I'm Carly, I'm Savannah.

1090
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 4: And we're here to give good advice. Goofully, but we

1091
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

1092
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,320
Speaker 4: would do. Let us know what you'd do in the comments,

1093
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 4: and op says. He promised he would only stay until

1094
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 4: he got a stable job, and five years later still

1095
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 4: hasn't found one. Despite this, he's managed to scrounge up

1096
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:25,279
Speaker 4: livabul savings and spend his free time buying sake and

1097
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 4: not doing his share of chores throughout the years. Though

1098
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 4: I talked with him about hooking him up with the job,

1099
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 4: but was always rejected with his expectation that he'll find

1100
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 4: some work in places of his own soon. With his

1101
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 4: announcement of their engagement, my buddy and his partner said

1102
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 4: that they would combine their income to buy their own

1103
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 4: house and move out. Before the wedding, neither had much

1104
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 4: money and had to take out a loan for their wedding.

1105
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,840
Speaker 4: But when my wife and I brought this up once again,

1106
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,279
Speaker 4: willing to let them both stay so long as they

1107
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 4: earned their keep paying for their food or cleaning up

1108
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 4: at least, we were dismissed.

1109
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:00,359
Speaker 5: As expect did.

1110
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 4: The hard moving date was tossed around before the wedding.

1111
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 4: We just need a little more time. The cheapest places

1112
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 4: are so far away it would take us off schedule

1113
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 4: to do so.

1114
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:11,320
Speaker 3: And then after the wedding.

1115
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 4: We were paying off our debts right now, and with

1116
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 4: how important good credit is buying a house, we need

1117
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:20,399
Speaker 4: to pay off what we have first honeymoon after taking

1118
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 4: out another loan a month later. This is an important

1119
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 4: trip for us and we should be able to enjoy it.

1120
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 4: We'll just add this to our payoffs soon list. We're

1121
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 4: almost done paying off the first loan. Anyway, they were

1122
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:34,760
Speaker 4: only twenty percent done with it, with every excuse possible.

1123
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,280
Speaker 4: Time and time again, I asked them if they wanted

1124
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 4: extra help with finding an apartment or money. We offered

1125
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 4: to help pay off their debt, only to be dismissed

1126
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,200
Speaker 4: with an air of annoyance. After their announcement of a

1127
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 4: honeymoon and trying for kids. I realized that they intended

1128
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 4: to stretch out their stay for as long as I

1129
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 4: let them. I called a bunch of our mutuals and

1130
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 4: got a list of those willing to help them get

1131
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 4: on their feet. I sat them down a day into

1132
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,839
Speaker 4: their honeymoon and told them that we couldn't house four

1133
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 4: people with more on the way on our salary, and

1134
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 4: gave them the list of mutuals. They called us a

1135
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,720
Speaker 4: holes for punting them out of their house and leaving

1136
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 4: them with nothing. They left for their trip and haven't

1137
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 4: spoken to us since. My wife and I think we

1138
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 4: did the right thing and we still want to help

1139
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 4: them in the future. Some of our mutuals agree, but

1140
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 4: think we could have handled it better, and the others

1141
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 4: think we should have been more patient and or have

1142
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,879
Speaker 4: been more firm without punting them out. I get they

1143
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 4: were financially struggling, but I think they should have slowed

1144
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 4: down with big purchases and or just taken the job

1145
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 4: opportunities we gave them. So am I the a hole

1146
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 4: for punting them out? There's an update, uh which they

1147
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:43,280
Speaker 4: hear back from the friend.

1148
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 5: But what are your thoughts?

1149
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,080
Speaker 3: I don't think you're the a hole. I think people

1150
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 3: like that take advantage of those that are kind and

1151
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:56,280
Speaker 3: willing and want to help. They take you for granted

1152
00:52:56,719 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 3: and then guess what, who has to pay for it

1153
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 3: you do. And it's like I was just trying to

1154
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 3: be a good person. I was trying to help a

1155
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 3: friend out, and now these people have taken advantage of

1156
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 3: me and they're trying to like take over where I

1157
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 3: live and then like spend money on things that they

1158
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 3: don't need. And it's like, dude, yeah, you know that

1159
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 3: you need to have, Like you know you need to

1160
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:18,919
Speaker 3: pay these things off.

1161
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 4: Right, Having alone out and then taking another one out

1162
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 4: to go on a honeymoon.

1163
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 5: That was a wild statement to me.

1164
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 4: You're trying to move out of the house, and you're like,

1165
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 4: I'm not a honey you can't afford that honeymoon, like living.

1166
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 3: Leaders, Like I just don't understand how you can. Like

1167
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 3: people get so hung up on you know, like, oh,

1168
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 3: like we don't have enough money, we don't have enough money.

1169
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 3: But then then you're spending money on these like expensive

1170
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 3: stuff that you don't need, like live in your means,

1171
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:50,240
Speaker 3: Like I don't understand. And also they're just taking advantage

1172
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 3: of you. Ope, like at this point, you know, it's

1173
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,760
Speaker 3: been like months after month after month, Like it's like, okay,

1174
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 3: we need to figure out like a transition because this

1175
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,800
Speaker 3: isn't working. And they can call you a holes and whatever,

1176
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 3: you'd be the a hole. You know, either way, whether

1177
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 3: you kicked them out or not, like you'd still end

1178
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 3: up probably being the a hole because these people sound

1179
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 3: like they're leeches.

1180
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 4: So I finally got word from Jason, the forty eight

1181
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 4: year old friend in quotes confirming the end of our friendship.

1182
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 4: He and I have agreed to ship his stuff back

1183
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 4: to one of our old friend's houses, so long as

1184
00:54:24,239 --> 00:54:27,399
Speaker 4: he pays for it. Don't worry. I'd made sure he'd

1185
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 4: either give me the money for shipping or.

1186
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 5: Pick it up himself. Update two.

1187
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,360
Speaker 4: The two of them came back today then sent a

1188
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,919
Speaker 4: lot of repulsive texts and whatnot, but I blocked them.

1189
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 4: Thanks for the advice, everyone, yikes.

1190
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, they showed you who you were, who they were.

1191
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:46,280
Speaker 3: They show their true colors and guess what they suck.

1192
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1193
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 1: on to the next one.

1194
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:53,479
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host. Here,

1195
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,839
Speaker 2: we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

1196
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,760
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1197
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:00,839
Speaker 3: I showed the bride my dress before or buying it,

1198
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 3: but now she's making a fuss.

1199
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 5: Were you trying to wear a white.

1200
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding.

1201
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 3: A while ago. I found a dress I really liked

1202
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 3: and sent it to the bride, saying I thought I'd

1203
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 3: found the one. She replied saying it was amazing and

1204
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 3: she loved it. So based on that, I went ahead

1205
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,399
Speaker 3: and put a deposit down on it. By the way,

1206
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 3: this comes from no technician eight oh six. And if

1207
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1208
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,839
Speaker 3: r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Carly, and

1209
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 3: we're here to give some good advice. Goofleep. We do

1210
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 3: not have all of your answers. You'll only tell you

1211
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 3: what we would do in this situation. But let us

1212
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 3: know what you would do down in the comments. As

1213
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 3: Opie says in important context, the bridesmaids are paying for

1214
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 3: their own dresses. Now after I've already paid the deposit.

1215
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,920
Speaker 3: Another bridesmaid has message our group chats saying the dresses

1216
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 3: are supposed to be satin or silk and that my

1217
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,239
Speaker 3: dress doesn't match the vibe. She said I could just

1218
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 3: get it changed because it will ruin the aesthetic and

1219
00:55:57,239 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 3: the photos. The problem is is that no no one

1220
00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:02,400
Speaker 3: ever clearly told me the dresses had to be satin

1221
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 3: or silk. It might have been briefly mentioned once in

1222
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:08,840
Speaker 3: a conversation, but it definitely wasn't presented as a strict requirement.

1223
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 3: If it had been made clear, I obviously wouldn't have

1224
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,480
Speaker 3: bought the dress I did. I'm also a bit annoyed

1225
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,760
Speaker 3: because I checked with the bride before paying the deposit

1226
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 3: and she said it looked nice. If there had been

1227
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 3: an issue, that would have been the moment to say something.

1228
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 3: She is also now saying that I didn't check with

1229
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 3: her and just said I bought it. Now I'm being

1230
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 3: asked to change the dress, even though I'm the one

1231
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 3: paying for it and I've already put money down. I

1232
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 3: don't really feel like that's fair. At this point, I'm

1233
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 3: considering just stepping down from being a bridesmaid because the

1234
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 3: whole thing has turned into drama and I don't feel comfortable.

1235
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:44,160
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole for refusing to change the dress.

1236
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 3: And there's an update.

1237
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 5: I mean she said deposit.

1238
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 4: So it makes me wonder if the dress is non refundable.

1239
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 4: But if they haven't done alterations or like really started

1240
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 4: on something, I'd be shocked if the dress shop wouldn't

1241
00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 4: like understand the change and let you just like swap dresses,

1242
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 4: especially if you're like, I'll still buy something from you. Yeah,

1243
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 4: it's at least worth a shot, right.

1244
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would call or email or something and just

1245
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 3: be like, hey, so I didn't realize that the bride

1246
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 3: only wanted like it to be soaker satin so and

1247
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 3: this art isn't Is there like a dress in a

1248
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 3: similar style that is either soaker satin you know, I.

1249
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 4: Feel like in exchange or something. Yeah, Like it could

1250
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 4: end up being that you're stuck with that dress who

1251
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 4: knows kind of thing, And then at that point maybe

1252
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 4: I wouldn't be buying another one. Maybe I'd just be

1253
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:32,520
Speaker 4: like I can't afford that. I'm really sorry. But like

1254
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 4: if there was communication about it that you can find

1255
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 4: or if you're able to change it somehow, like if

1256
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 4: it could be done with like one easy conversation and

1257
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,320
Speaker 4: the drama just be spared.

1258
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's worth it, Yeah, I think, Yeah, I don't know,

1259
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 3: it's worth a try. Why not update one three days later.

1260
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 3: A lot of the backstory probably explains why I reacted

1261
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 3: the way I did, so here it is. I've been

1262
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:58,760
Speaker 3: friends with the bride since school, about fifteen years now.

1263
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 3: We don't speak all the time because we live about

1264
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 3: two hours apart, but once or twice a year we'd

1265
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 3: meet up and catch up. When she got engaged two

1266
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 3: years ago, she asked me to be one of her

1267
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:12,280
Speaker 3: two bridesmaids plus a maid of honor. Ooh, things started

1268
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 3: getting a bit weird early on. Back in October, we

1269
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 3: had a bridal shower with bridesmaids and close family, which

1270
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,280
Speaker 3: was fine. After that, the bride said she wanted a

1271
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 3: hen party. The mother of the bride went ahead and

1272
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 3: booked a hotel without asking any of the three bridesmaids first,

1273
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 3: and then expected us to split the cost of two

1274
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,840
Speaker 3: rooms for the bride. The three of us, the mother

1275
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 3: and her friend, we all said no and told her

1276
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,040
Speaker 3: she should try and get a refund because none of

1277
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 3: us had agreed to that. Trying to be helpful, I

1278
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:41,840
Speaker 3: offered to host the hen party at my house instead. Honestly,

1279
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 3: I wish I hadn't. I spent months planning it. I

1280
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 3: bought decorations, organized games, did loads of foods, set up

1281
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 3: everything up at my house the whole thing. The maid

1282
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:53,480
Speaker 3: of honor was basically impossible to contact during the planning

1283
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 3: and ignored my messages most of the time.

1284
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 4: Ugh.

1285
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 3: The other bridesmaid mostly just turned up with a blow

1286
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 3: up doll with the groom's face on it, which somehow

1287
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 3: ended up being the highlight of the night. After everyone left,

1288
00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:07,600
Speaker 3: I didn't even get a thank you message, not from

1289
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 3: the bridesmaids, not from the maid of honor, not even

1290
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 3: from the bride. I actually haven't heard from any of

1291
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 3: them since that night. Because of that silence, I just

1292
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 3: decided to sort my own dress out. I lived two

1293
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 3: hours away from them and don't drive, so organizing group

1294
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 3: shopping trips wasn't really practical Anyway. I found a dress

1295
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 3: I liked and sent it to the bride before putting

1296
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:29,120
Speaker 3: the deposit down. She didn't say there was an issue

1297
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 3: at the time. Then out of nowhere, I got a

1298
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 3: pretty rude message from the other bride. From the other

1299
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 3: bridesmaid and the maid of honor, saying they thought we

1300
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:40,720
Speaker 3: were all supposed to decide on dresses together. Then it escalated.

1301
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:43,200
Speaker 4: Keeps me so torn because I'm like, if you guys

1302
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:46,920
Speaker 4: had plans to decide on dresses together, then it's like

1303
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 4: we should have decided to dress together.

1304
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 5: But then if it's like.

1305
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,280
Speaker 4: You were trying to get them together and they're like

1306
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,439
Speaker 4: not willing to get together, and then it's like, Okay,

1307
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:55,520
Speaker 4: I just need a dress.

1308
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like that. It's like, how long do you

1309
00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:58,240
Speaker 3: want me to wait for?

1310
00:59:58,240 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 4: You?

1311
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 3: Guys, Like dresses take a while. You order them like

1312
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:05,440
Speaker 3: months in advance, especially for alterations. Yeah, especially if you

1313
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 3: need it altered, which most honestly you do.

1314
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:09,800
Speaker 4: This girl might be the only one with a dress

1315
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 4: by the time, right, Like what about the.

1316
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 3: Other people that they had a dress?

1317
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 4: Like?

1318
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 2: Uh?

1319
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 3: The bride's maid messaged me again, saying she had spoken

1320
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 3: to the bride and groom and they weren't happy and

1321
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 3: would rather make uh and would rather make her a

1322
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 3: joint made of honor so I don't stand out too

1323
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:29,600
Speaker 3: much literally.

1324
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:30,440
Speaker 5: A different fabric.

1325
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 3: I was the maid of honor, and I actually had

1326
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 3: like the bride was gonna my best friend. She was

1327
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:39,800
Speaker 3: gonna wear this like really nice like rhinestone belt. It

1328
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,240
Speaker 3: was so gorgeous. And then when she put it on,

1329
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 3: like after she got off fixed up, She's like, honestly,

1330
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 3: I don't really want it, and I was like, can

1331
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 3: I wear it? I was like, I'm the maid of honor.

1332
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 3: I feel like I could like stand out of it,

1333
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 3: and she was like, oh my god, yeah I do it.

1334
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 3: So like I put it on, and like, you know,

1335
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 3: so I had like a different look from everyone because

1336
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 3: no one else had that.

1337
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 4: But like, so, if the other two bridesmaids haven't decided

1338
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 4: or ordered a dress yet, could they not just order

1339
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 4: a dress in whatever fabric you ordered.

1340
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:09,320
Speaker 3: That's also true unless it's like the bride doesn't want

1341
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 3: that fight. But then she just said something.

1342
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 4: Like her picturesed on if like I just don't get it.

1343
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 5: I don't know.

1344
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 3: There are literally only three bridesmaids including me, so it

1345
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 3: felt like a really strange thing to say. She also

1346
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 3: told me she can be a witch if she has

1347
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 3: to be, and then offered to buy me a cheap

1348
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 3: champagne dress instead. On top of that, she also said

1349
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 3: the bride was worried about numbers at the wedding and

1350
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 3: that they were no longer inviting children. She told me

1351
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 3: this in a way that made it sound like my

1352
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,920
Speaker 3: daughter and my mom wouldn't be invited anymore. I hadn't

1353
01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:44,080
Speaker 3: even heard that directly from the bride myself, and at

1354
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:46,200
Speaker 3: that point I didn't even know if my boyfriend was

1355
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 3: still invited either. Being told all of that through another

1356
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:52,160
Speaker 3: bridesmaid instead of the bride felt really strange and honestly,

1357
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:55,600
Speaker 3: quite hurtful. At that point, I didn't reply to her

1358
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 3: at all. I went straight to the bride instead, because

1359
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:00,640
Speaker 3: we've been friends for fifteen years, and I thought if

1360
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:02,640
Speaker 3: anyone was going to be honest with me, it would

1361
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 3: be her. I told her that if she didn't like

1362
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 3: the dress, that that would have been the time to

1363
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:10,200
Speaker 3: say it. When I showed her before paying the deposit.

1364
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,760
Speaker 3: I also said I was really taken aback by the

1365
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:15,400
Speaker 3: messages and comments from the other bridesmaids, and that it

1366
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 3: had made me feel uncomfortable enough that I was considering

1367
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 3: not attending the wedding at all. Now I'm waiting to

1368
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 3: see what she says back. Honestly, at this point, I'm

1369
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 3: starting to feel like I've put in way more effort

1370
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:29,440
Speaker 3: than anyone else and somehow ended up being the problem. Yeah. Oh,

1371
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 3: and there's a second update. The advice in different perspectives

1372
01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 3: really helped me calm down and figure out how to

1373
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 3: handle things. After waiting for her to reply to my

1374
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:40,880
Speaker 3: last message, she finally got back to me. In short,

1375
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:43,240
Speaker 3: she said she actually has no problem with the dress

1376
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:45,640
Speaker 3: at all and thinks it's beautiful. The color is the

1377
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:48,640
Speaker 3: one that she agreed on, Champagne, and she said from

1378
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 3: the start that as long as the dresses were that color,

1379
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:55,640
Speaker 3: we could wear whatever we felt comfortable in. She said

1380
01:02:55,680 --> 01:02:58,080
Speaker 3: the situation seems to have come as a surprise to

1381
01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:00,760
Speaker 3: the other bridesmaids because they didn't realize I had already

1382
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 3: paid a deposit for my dress, But she also said

1383
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:05,640
Speaker 3: she can't speak for what's been said in their group chat.

1384
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 3: She also told me she was really upset that I

1385
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:10,960
Speaker 3: was considering stepping down because she had always planned for

1386
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 3: me to be a bridesmaid since we were younger. As

1387
01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:16,400
Speaker 3: for my daughter, she said she never told anyone that

1388
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:19,040
Speaker 3: she wasn't invited. She said that she's still figuring out

1389
01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:22,040
Speaker 3: numbers and that she and her fiance had already talked

1390
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 3: about not having children at the night at the night reception,

1391
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:27,480
Speaker 3: but the rest of the day is still something they're

1392
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 3: working out, and she said she let me know as

1393
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:34,760
Speaker 3: we had discussed before my reply. I thanked her for

1394
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 3: explaining everything and told her I never wanted to cause

1395
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 3: any stress around her wedding. I honestly believed everything was

1396
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 3: fine when I showed her the dress before I paid

1397
01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 3: the deposit. However, because of everything that's happened, I told

1398
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,920
Speaker 3: her I feel it might be best if I stepped

1399
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,560
Speaker 3: down as a bridesmaid, as I don't want any tension

1400
01:03:50,600 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 3: around her big day. I also told her that I

1401
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,120
Speaker 3: love her and hope she has the most amazing wedding day.

1402
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:00,720
Speaker 3: Where things stand now at the moment, I'm still feeling

1403
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 3: really uncomfortable about the whole situation, and I don't see

1404
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:06,400
Speaker 3: how me continuing as a bridesmaid would lead to a

1405
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:09,800
Speaker 3: good outcome for anyone after all the drama. I'm not

1406
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 3: someone who likes conflict, and I didn't appreciate being spoken

1407
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:16,000
Speaker 3: to in such an aggressive tone by the other bridesmaid.

1408
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 3: It also leaves me in a difficult position because I've

1409
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:22,240
Speaker 3: heard completely different versions of events. Either the bridesmaid has

1410
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 3: massively misrepresented things to me or the bride is now

1411
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 3: saying something different. I honestly don't know which is the truth,

1412
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:32,479
Speaker 3: and that uncertainty is another reason I feel stepping back

1413
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 3: is the best option. Drama, Yeah, the drama in this,

1414
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:39,040
Speaker 3: I mean, why are the bridesmaids like going behind the

1415
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:41,920
Speaker 3: bride and being like like she said that your child

1416
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 3: isn't gonna be invited and this isn't gonna happen and

1417
01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:46,120
Speaker 3: that's not gonna happen, and like you can't wear this

1418
01:04:46,240 --> 01:04:48,400
Speaker 3: and you can't do that, and it's like why why

1419
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:50,160
Speaker 3: are we causing so much trauma for no reason?

1420
01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:53,040
Speaker 4: And who is actually talking to who? I'm yes, just lost.

1421
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:56,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if like maybe the bridesmaids have

1422
01:04:56,680 --> 01:04:58,800
Speaker 3: like a different have a separate group chat from the

1423
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:01,560
Speaker 3: actual like bride, but.

1424
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:03,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I think that's yeah.

1425
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:05,160
Speaker 3: Usually that's like how it is, like, you know, but

1426
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:09,240
Speaker 3: the fact that you're like bullying this girl, why like

1427
01:05:09,240 --> 01:05:11,960
Speaker 3: what did she do? She like did all these extravagant

1428
01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:14,440
Speaker 3: things for you guys, like plan this thing hosted, you know,

1429
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 3: the hen party whatever, and like all this stuff and

1430
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,880
Speaker 3: it's like oh, no, thank you, no nothing, and then

1431
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:24,800
Speaker 3: they just complain like who are they who even know

1432
01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 3: these people. I'd be like, guess what bri I would

1433
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,840
Speaker 3: put in the group chech, guess what bride said? I Uh,

1434
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:31,480
Speaker 3: I got the okay from the bride that I'm allowed

1435
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:31,840
Speaker 3: to wear.

1436
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:33,600
Speaker 4: This, so so sounds good.

1437
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,320
Speaker 3: So that's what I'm gonna wear. And also my child's coming.

1438
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:37,880
Speaker 3: Thanks for threatening me for no reason.

1439
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,280
Speaker 5: Literally just wouldn't even say anything.

1440
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna show up how the bride tells me to,

1441
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:43,160
Speaker 4: and that's what I'm doing exactly.

1442
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:47,320
Speaker 3: Looking back, I can also see how I maybe could

1443
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:50,520
Speaker 3: have handled things differently. I've never been a bride's maid before,

1444
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:52,720
Speaker 3: and I was honestly just really excited about it and

1445
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 3: wanted to get everything sorted early, which is why I

1446
01:05:55,320 --> 01:05:57,280
Speaker 3: went ahead and bought the dress once I thought everything

1447
01:05:57,320 --> 01:06:00,560
Speaker 3: was agreed. For context as well, me and the other

1448
01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:03,920
Speaker 3: bridesmaids have never had any issues in the past. This

1449
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:06,760
Speaker 3: bride'smaid is the bride's current best friend, and she had

1450
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:09,479
Speaker 3: mentioned that the bride wanted her to speak for her

1451
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 3: as she is very stressed over the whole wedding planning.

1452
01:06:13,320 --> 01:06:15,960
Speaker 3: I don't know her particularly well, but we've always been

1453
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,000
Speaker 3: friendly and I've never had a problem with her. Before.

1454
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:22,000
Speaker 3: Her messages just completely caught me off guard. For now,

1455
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:24,760
Speaker 3: stepping down feels like the least dramatic option, so there's

1456
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 3: no stress around the wedding. Ugh no, but you were

1457
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:30,400
Speaker 3: so excited about it. Ohpee, I say, don't step down

1458
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 3: and wear the dress and wear it proud. Who cares?

1459
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,440
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story.