WEBVTT - Unpacking White Privilege and Prejudice 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.480 Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:05.840 Red Table Pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:10.000 Facebook watch show in audio produced by Westbrook Audio and 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:13.120 I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:22.599 on Apple Podcasts. We all know we have a problem 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:26.240 with women of color in one corner and white women 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:29.240 in another corner. So how do we close the gap? 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:32.880 How do we dissolve the divide? You may wonder why 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:36.000 why we should care. The fact is that no woman 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:39.040 is free until all women are free. Race is never 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:42.280 an easy subject, but that's what the Red Table is 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.879 here for to push ourselves to have conversations that scare us. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:49.960 So in honor Black History Month, we brought three women 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:55.200 with different backgrounds to help us understand their experiences. Rachel 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:58.080 Cargo is a former nanny whose life changed after this 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:01.240 photo from the Women's March went viral. She's a writer 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:04.640 for Harvest Bazaar Online, with articles such as how to 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:07.920 talk to your family about racism on Thanksgiving and when 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:10.480 I asked the RTT family who should come to the 0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:14.920 table to talk about race, she was your top choice. Writer. 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:18.679 Amy Newman, a mom of a team daughter just like me, 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:22.600 stirred up controversy with a groundbreaking and brave article admitting 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:27.760 her own white privilege. Award winning actress Justina Machado, the 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:31.319 beloved and outspoken star of the Netflix hit One Day 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:36.040 at a Time, was recently named Latina of Influence and 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:42.559 says the conversations about race can't just be black and white. 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:47.680 I just, first of all, I want to say thank 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:50.680 you to you guys for being here, for being here 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:55.280 and this conversation about how we can flow power to 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:59.440 one another. And I definitely believe there's this huge break 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:03.000 between women of color and white women. I just want 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:08.800 to kind of figure out how we can have conversations, 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:17.760 you know, just smooth conversation because emotional, because I get 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:20.600 really emotional to the point of anger, because my husband 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:23.639 is always like, we can't even have a conversation. Let 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:25.280 me ask you a question, because you know, a lot 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:29.200 of black women feel like it is not our job 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:33.760 to educate white women. Do you feel that way? White 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.959 women treat race issues like rocket science, and they say, 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.440 how am I supposed to talk? I supposed to do things. 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.959 White women treat race as if it's the hardest thing 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:45.800 ever you've done. Lots of hard things. You've raised children 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:48.000 with no guide book, You've gotten married with no guide book, 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:50.280 You've traveled the world, you've gone to college. But for 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:52.320 some reason, they need a step by step when it 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:56.919 comes to anti racism work. And I'm not sure why. Yeah, all, yeah, 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:00.040 you know, I learning. I will say, you know, I 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.359 can't speak for all white women, but white women are 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:05.920 we constantly look to women of color to tell us, like, 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:08.080 you know, tell me what is it like to be 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:10.200 a black woman? What is it like to be Latina? 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:12.959 White women have to take on the labor of doing 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:15.280 this work. It is not up to women of color. 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:17.960 I find that interesting that do white women really ask 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:20.960 what's it like to be black women? Because I've ever 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:23.200 been asked that question because I have locks under this, 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:26.320 but I've been asked many times, how do you wash 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:29.320 your hair? Like? Is it the same as everyone else? 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:32.200 And I'm like, yeah. I always tell white women singer 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:34.680 white children to a summer camp where they're the minority 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:37.560 for a summer. Do that let them let them experience 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:41.880 the world differently. Can you explain to me how Latin 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:46.400 women are being heard or not heard in regards to 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:51.280 what is happening today? I think you're heard if you're famous. God. Uh, 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:53.960 And that's about it because I think right now, so 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:56.839 many of the conversations are black and white, and then 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:59.640 we fall like where do we fall? What happens to us? 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.760 Where are we in these conversations? We're not all liberal, 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:05.280 there are some that are conservative. Do you know there's 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:07.360 another people don't know about us. How do we bring 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.320 that all together even amongst us. I'm gonna tell you 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:13.440 something that's an interesting dynamic. It is, right, I would 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:18.000 imagine it makes it very complex to unify. Yeah, because 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:20.600 we're all colonized, so we already feel we're better than 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:26.200 the other one about all that going out and you're like, 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:28.799 are you kidding? And it's even like the light skinned 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:32.239 dark people think Latins can't be racist? Come on, yeah, 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:39.200 come on, this is we have. This we have because 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:43.719 we were having the conversation about what racism is. So 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:47.240 let me just say racism is a structure, not an event. 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:52.240 When a group's collective prejudice is backed by the institutional control, 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:57.320 it is a system of advantage based on race. Those 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:01.480 advantages are known as white privilege, and then it is 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.680 taken for granted by whites and not enjoyed in the 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:10.280 same context as people of color. I think that no 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:15.800 matter what your skin color, if you're exhibiting behavior that's hateful, 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:20.600 you are racist. Here's the thing. Racism is structural. It's 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:23.400 all through our institutions, it's in our education, how we're 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:26.320 in doctrine. People of color cannot be racist against each 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:28.720 other because we don't have a system against each other. 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.880 But we can be You can have internalized racism. When 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:33.960 you say, I don't you know a darker person of 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.479 color in a week, I guess it would be called 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:43.359 racism is the system, and white people are at that space. 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:45.599 People of color are here in a system where white 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:47.560 people are the knowers and everyone else is to be known. 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.479 But why is white the default? So we internalize that 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:53.760 and we show that I just um and then then 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:56.680 it all into one word, and it's not for me. 0:05:56.960 --> 0:05:59.440 I'm not negatively impacted. If I walk out of a 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:03.080 scenario where your prejudice against me, I walk back into 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:09.440 the white world. Yeah, somebody can be prejudiced against me, 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:13.200 but the structures in the system that we live in, 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:16.680 that's it. Or whatever whatever prejudice I have against you 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:24.359 is temporary. Yeah, one right, exactly exactly, a light skin, 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:28.359 educated black woman who people listen to. So I challenge 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:30.840 my followers, are you listening to your black neighbor, Are 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:33.800 you listening to your black you know, coworker, are you 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:35.919 listening to the little black girl who plays with your child? 0:06:36.279 --> 0:06:40.280 Or they're lasting a woman who takes care of your child? Okay, 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:50.200 listening to that A moment for that a moment, all right, 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:54.520 That's that's really tall. The truth is until and this 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:56.560 is a quote from Audrey Lord, until all women are free, 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:59.280 No one's free. That's true, that's not and that's the 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:03.200 white women don't understand. No one's free to all free. 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.560 That's my belief. We all need each other, and I 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:10.440 believe that white women are very clear about that, which 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:15.040 is why they tend to rally for our support, your support, 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:22.200 our support, Rachel. It's just not Yeah, they rallied for 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:25.160 the support, but it's not it's not reciprocated. I mean, 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:27.280 how many of the women at the Women's March showed 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:29.840 up at Black Lives Matter purchase and we were all 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.480 saying that we were there. I'd call it a parade, 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:34.920 and the Women's March was a parade of white women 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:36.840 who wanted to feel like they were included in something 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:39.640 not much changed, and how they were showing up for 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:42.680 people of color. That's funny that you thought it was 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.280 a parade. I felt like I felt so happy to 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:48.240 be there, and so I was empowered and I felt, wow, 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:51.880 this is incredible, But the receipt didn't show up. One 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:54.560 of my rules is in our business, I look at 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:58.280 the resume when people call me up and they're like, hey, 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:00.920 can you come to this event it I'm not gonna 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:02.760 be taking no pictures with you on the red carpet 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:06.240 until you've shown improve that you actually have been doing 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:09.120 some working. In my opinion, we've got to stop flowing 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:13.840 power for the photo exactly. You know as well as 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:17.440 I do. There's a lot of performance going on. So 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:21.680 when I'm talking about holding people accountable in regards to 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:25.800 even what we're doing on a personal level of like, okay, 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:29.440 so you're saying you've got this thing going on, okay, 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.800 and you want to be inclusive, but how are you 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:38.120 practicing that so called inclusivity. Show me the receipts. We 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:42.280 have to take it into action. We have to do 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:45.520 the work. We've got to read, we've got to support 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:50.800 black women and Latino women and support organizations that are 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.000 run by women of color. We need to support, you know, 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:57.000 like artists who are people from candidates for a people 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:00.559 of color. It is past time a same like in 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:04.120 day to day life as women of color, we really 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:09.120 have to recognize when white women come in to help 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:12.600 that we make room for it. Because there's been a 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:16.000 couple of times like if a trust is it is 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:21.400 trust is Sue. I understand that. But at right so 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:25.680 I get it. But at some point where are we 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:31.559 as black women going to be able to recognize an ally? 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:33.960 This is all power place. So in order to shift 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:36.599 that power needs to shift. So white women need to 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:38.280 step back and say, why don't you guys have a 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:40.840 black woman take my place on this cover? Mean to 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.160 give up the power, whether it's in your home, in 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:47.640 your career, when to give and that's always going to 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:49.960 mean for white women that we may not get that 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:53.520 job that we really want. That that's what we're going 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:56.520 to ask, give up the power. But but and that 0:09:56.640 --> 0:10:00.760 it also applies to yes to raise. It's not a 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:03.800 matter of black women saying, hey, we're open to you 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:06.439 being an ally to us. That's not the case it's 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:09.559 white women showing up and saying, you have a righteous anger. 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:12.360 You're allowed to be livid at the things that we 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:15.280 have imposed on you over history. And instead of acting 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:20.000 like they don't know, yes, yes, and white women like 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:23.560 they have no responsibility, yes, yes, yes, They say, why 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:26.040 do I have to deal with what my ancestors did? 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.880 And I say, until I don't have to deal with 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:32.199 the consequences of what happened to my ancestors, I will 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:35.000 be holding you accountable for what your ancestors did because 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.480 you're still benefiting from what they built on the backs 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:41.360 of people. But it's not wasn't me, Like, why are 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:43.959 you getting on me? This anger? Is it for me? This? 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:46.560 This is all you. Either they're the hero or they're 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:51.160 the victim they ran. They rarely take responsibility when women 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:54.520 say like, I have a lot of anger, of course 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:57.679 it's righteous, Like it is righteous when I'm in that 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:00.560 space of anger. Almost every single time I get a 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:04.120 vibe of it's really not that serious that it happens 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.480 on a set all the time. I was. If a 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:10.120 white woman acts like, gets really upset about something, it 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.720 starts going crazy, then it's understandable I do it. Then 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.320 they're scared of me. That's the real thing that happens 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:18.320 to a lot of people. But control yourself. I'm like, 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:21.360 what about how many people of color experiencing these things? 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.560 Like is it just me? Am? I like no one else? 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:27.160 And we have to see each other. Here's the thing 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.640 for me that I'm hoping you can help me understand 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:34.400 as well. White women have dealt with patriarchy. There's so 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:36.680 much privilege in whiteness. And the phrase that I use 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:38.800 is that white women often choose their whiteness over their 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:42.440 womanhood because there's deep safety in that they know that 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.240 at least in their whiteness, they have the white men 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:47.640 protecting them. White women must sit in the room and 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:49.520 be like, we'll deal with a little bit of patriarchy 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:51.960 as long as we keep our white privilege. When it 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:53.880 shows up that way, but that is what it is. 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:58.000 We benefit directly from that white privilege, from white supremacy. 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:02.360 We have to like undo that. But I will say 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:06.600 it has been an evolution for me because I wasn't 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.559 always there. I entered this work through sort of reproductive 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.480 health and rights, and the more I sort of learned 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:15.680 about women's bodies and the inequity that you know, and 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:20.160 the treatment that certain women gets and historical you know, 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:26.719 treatment of black women's bodies, of Puerto Rican women and 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:30.640 made women a lot of women sterile. And so I 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:32.960 thought that there's these are points of intersection. You know, 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.560 no matter what color, we have been taught to be 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:38.960 silent and not believe in ourselves. That's a good point. 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.120 That's a really good point. Why women do feel the 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:45.520 pain of the patriarchy. We feel the pages. This isn't 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:49.640 the oppression Olympics. It doesn't mean that then women of color, 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.920 or Puerto Rican women, or trans women or or lesbians 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:56.800 or you know, don't have another layer of oppression. And 0:12:56.880 --> 0:13:00.400 it's something that I cannot understand. I don't I can't 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:04.840 understand it, but I also benefit. This is why we 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.840 need to use our platforms as a white women and 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:11.839 white women. White women's platforms are their dinner tables, it's 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:15.760 their children, it's their classrooms. It's when you walk into 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:17.559 a conference at work asked, why are there any black 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.960 women on this panel? Why is my child's school completely 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:24.000 staffed by white women? Why? You know, to get to that, 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.920 it's white people using their platforms to say this is 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:29.960 important to this household, this is important to this work culture, 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:33.480 and then it will all domino into us being like, okay, 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:35.640 let's work together on this. But it's so funny when 0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:37.160 I post pictures of like me and one of my 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:43.280 best friends who's white, they're like what because it's this 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:48.160 has my My passion comes out of a deep belief that, like, 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:53.760 we are approaching this moment that equality could possibly happen. 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:57.240 I think part of what I am trying to do 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:00.199 when I talk to other white women is to let uh, 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.680 all of us know, like we are not the center. 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:05.920 White women and white men. We like to center ourselves 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:08.920 in every conversation. So it's like, yeah, but how does 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:12.040 this affect me and I? You know, and they come 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.120 and they come in and they say, you don't know 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:17.200 how to well, somebody once said to me, I am white, um, 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.480 and I don't get white privilege? Why do you? I 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:21.760 don't get that. I didn't. I didn't know how to 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:25.320 answer that's how Yeah, And instead of all I could 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.840 say was well, could you walk into a store and 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:29.960 do they ask you if you need help? Because I've 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:32.200 certainly walked into stores before and they never asked me 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:34.440 if I needed help. And also have you been followed 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:36.760 in the store. They do that a lot of Chicago, 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:41.600 you know what I mean, when a police officer is around, 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:44.000 not even just around, that's right, because as soon as 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:48.120 a police officer is around, within myself from like okay, 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:52.520 like and it's I'm looking, I'm feeling sust exactly. Like 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:55.520 I got pulled over by a police officer and I 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.280 literally was so freaked out that I was like, I 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:00.320 was taking pictures of where I was. I was my mom. 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:01.520 I was like, if he does anything to me, you're 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:04.680 gonna know exactly, and I was I was like, this 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:08.240 is crazy. I was like, I'm literally terrified, exactly. I'm 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:12.040 from a police officer who were supposed to believe protected us. 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:14.280 In my workshops, I have the white woman write down 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:15.840 the words of how you would feel if you woke 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:21.360 up tomorrow as a black person, and everyone's words are scared, overwhelmed, unheard, unseen, 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.360 and that should show you if you're not waking up 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:25.360 feeling that way every single day, then you hold a 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:29.880 privilege that black people are lacking. Exactly. It always says 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.040 two to tangle. That's always how I think about it. 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:36.000 And I'm really clear on what white people need to 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:39.160 do and just making sure that I'm accountable for what 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:41.880 I need to be doing with my Latin sisters, just 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.240 like I know, damn well, if I'm sitting in a 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:46.840 row with my Latin sisters, I'm stretting up because I 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:51.360 need to listen about what is needed because I know 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.680 I don't know. Just to answer your own question, how 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:56.520 would you feel welcomed as you're saying we need to 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.560 welcome white women, Um, here is your sister, so just 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.760 you show up. No, But the fact that I'm here 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:04.720 means I just need for you to know that and 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:09.280 have the openness and willingness to show me how okay. 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:13.200 I don't know all the time the nuance. So we 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.720 show up, I listen, and I so shaw, can I 0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:20.360 support your movements? What do I need to say I 0:16:20.440 --> 0:16:24.480 need to do because I need you exactly just show me. 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.360 I'm gonna be here with you. I'm gonna learn. That 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.400 was one of the reasons why I learned Spanish. My 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:32.760 Latin sisters are suffering too. I need to be able 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.040 to communicate this. I don't feel like there's a bunch 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:38.240 of spaces where white women were coming in and like 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:41.160 women are just like leave. They might be kind of 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:44.520 because wich that either I just know that we can 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:49.080 have a certain kind of like why are you here? 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:52.040 That that is the mean that I've had to kind 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.800 of get over a little bit, because you trust, you 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:59.280 have to earn that relationship. You can earn your trust. 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:01.400 But even if you know, if it's a dude new 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:03.160 in your life, you'll be like, all right, so what 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:07.040 the hell are you here for? You know you're going on. 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:10.159 You don't really mind, so you're thinking me a for 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:12.639 bood and you asked me to go out for what? No, 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:15.160 it's like, okay, you're here. That's nice. So let's see 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:17.440 where this goes. I think a relationship because that person 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:20.440 doesn't hurt you yet. White women in generation generation so 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:23.800 we have we have about that lack of trust and 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:28.320 white women because saying that we're just saying we're asking 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:30.719 white women to take a leap. I believe that we 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:34.120 have to take leaps as well. We do. And that's 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:37.040 just me, right, And you know what, that's just me 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:39.960 I believe. And if you disappoint me, all right, that's 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:42.639 so you do you think the majority of black women 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:44.800 react to white women like that? Is that why you 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:46.960 you feel the need to address it because it's so many. 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:51.040 It's a lot of us that you know, because of that, rightfully, 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:55.240 so weird angry, rightfully. So I'm not saying that we 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:57.040 don't have a right to be angry, and I'm not 0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:58.639 saying that we don't have the right to have that 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:02.119 lack of trust, because we do. All. I'm saying though 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:06.920 we need them, they need us, we need we all 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:12.400 need each other. We have to be able to sit 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:17.480 in a bit of vulnerability to allow for a certain 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.160 kind of healing to occur. We got to be open 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:23.080 to and I might not have the right words for it, 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:27.080 It's not gonna happen on our own. I identify as 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:31.080 a feminist because I truly believe in the equality for 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:33.440 all women. I'm out here just fighting for black women 0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:37.000 and for me to show up as a feminist, I too, 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:40.840 am showing up for women. And so I think there 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:42.600 isn't And I think that's the thing we have to 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:44.800 remember as Black women that we have we're showing up 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:47.960 for all women because we know white women included, because 0:18:47.960 --> 0:19:05.200 we know like that, are we gonna do the fishball? 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:08.439 Who wants to who wants to go first? Let me 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:12.040 see Okay, Jenny from Texas. As a white woman, I 0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:15.800 feel women of color stereotype me also the same way 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:19.400 they criticize white people for doing the same. Isn't that hypocritical? 0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:24.760 Okay versus Jenny, I highly suggest you reframe your question 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:27.680 in terms of the patriarchy. If a man came in 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:31.400 with all of the emotions that you bring to say, well, 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:33.320 not all men are like this, you'd be like, I know, 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.800 but enough are to keep me on safe from what 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:38.600 I understand. I think it's a story that Muhammad Ali said, 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:42.879 where he was describing his fear of white people, that 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:46.399 if there's a thousand poisonous stakes coming towards you, and 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:48.960 someone says, but five of them aren't poisonous, I'm still 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.480 shutting the door because there's a huge chance that I'm 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:55.000 gonna get hurt. So it's not about stereotyping, it's not 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:59.760 about being hypocritical. It's about black bodies and danger, and 0:19:59.800 --> 0:20:01.680 so there has to be a space of us protecting 0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:06.680 ourselves while still doing that work. I love That's that's 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:10.119 the question that's asked a lot. Okay, this is Karen 0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:14.000 from San Jose. Are most of your friends the same ethnicity. 0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:18.399 There's a differentiation from me between friends and associates. So 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:21.919 I have a lot of associates that are white, but 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:26.520 friends is a more intimate definition of a relationship for me, 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:30.800 and now I don't have a lot of friends. We 0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:33.480 just did this exercise yesterday actually at a at a 0:20:33.560 --> 0:20:36.200 diversity training I was at, and she had us list 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:39.800 like who are your neighbors like race and gender? Who 0:20:39.840 --> 0:20:42.400 are your friends? Who were your teachers? And I looked 0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:44.959 at my list and I was almost all white for me, 0:20:45.160 --> 0:20:47.640 and that that is so But I think that it's 0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:55.199 so true. We we we have to preach out all right, Okay, 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:58.760 Rita from Florida, I'm a white woman and I'm sick 0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:02.320 of hearing about my privilege. I've been raped, I've been abused, 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.840 I've lost out jobs to men both black and white. 0:21:06.080 --> 0:21:08.879 Why is my past any less traumatic than a woman 0:21:08.880 --> 0:21:13.959 of color? Wow? There it is. I get it. I 0:21:14.040 --> 0:21:17.159 totally get it, Rita. And we all have these traumas, 0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:20.720 and we all have these places in our lives where 0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:24.439 we've been impacted in ways that are awful. But with 0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:29.280 your white skin, that is it wasn't it wasn't big? Well, yes, 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:32.680 and you still walk through the world as a white 0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:35.160 person that is privileged. And it doesn't mean your whole 0:21:35.160 --> 0:21:37.080 life is privileged, and it doesn't mean that we don't 0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:40.240 all have pain. And here here's the thing, she's experienced 0:21:40.359 --> 0:21:46.080 hainous acts upon her body personally. Now, we as women 0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:50.000 are not safe because of our gender, and it's this compact. 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:53.679 A lot of times white women say, I'm not privileged, 0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:56.480 I have mental health issues, I have this, and I go, 0:21:56.760 --> 0:21:59.000 there's so many black women who also have been to 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:01.400 health issues, who also have gone through all those things, 0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:03.199 and they walk in the world with no one believing 0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:06.560 them because they're black, because they're period. End of discussion. 0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:12.160 We're not gonna keep talking about. This is about. See 0:22:12.200 --> 0:22:16.360 that right there, just so that's you, that's what I'm 0:22:16.359 --> 0:22:21.399 talking about. Gotta work on that party, Lauren from Los Angeles. 0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:26.280 Jane Elliott said, there's only one race, the human race, 0:22:26.520 --> 0:22:29.399 human race, and that's and while I think it's rooted 0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:32.200 in the right sentiment, does this do a disservice to 0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:35.199 marginalized members of society who have to deal with inequality 0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:38.480 every day? Yes, Lauren, if we were living in a 0:22:38.520 --> 0:22:42.520 completely different society with completely different rules and completely different power. 0:22:42.760 --> 0:22:44.760 We could forever and all days skip around and talk 0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:48.040 about how we're the same race, but in America, we're 0:22:48.080 --> 0:22:51.200 not the same race. In America, when my black sun 0:22:51.240 --> 0:22:54.040 walks out and your white sun walks out, there will 0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:58.800 live been two completely different experiences based on their race alone. Right, 0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:00.679