WEBVTT - Live Your Truth (w/ Jada Michael) 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:03.960 Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are listening to 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:07.600 the Vitamin D podcast. I'm your host, Dawn Day and 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:12.080 for any new guests, welcome. Vitamin D is a podcast 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:14.920 that focuses on helping you live your best life. Today 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:17.160 We've got a special guest, but before I get to her, 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:19.840 not how with your questions? For you? Who are you? 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:23.280 What is your truth? And what do you do when 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:26.920 you don't see anyone else representing who you are? Mm hmmm. 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.720 Those are some big questions, but they're important here on 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:33.760 Vitamin D. We give big questions just as much time 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:36.120 in the light as the small ones, and who I 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:39.320 am is basically the biggest question any of us can answer. 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:41.720 We know who we are and who we can be 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:43.680 based on what we see in the world around us, 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:47.080 and then what the world tells us implicitly and explicitly. 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:49.760 But the kicker, and I'm sure many of you are aware, 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:52.280 is that we don't all get the same messages about 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:55.480 who we can be or who we are. This conversation 0:00:55.560 --> 0:00:58.600 often comes out in the argument about representation in the media. 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:01.200 When people see some one who looks like them, who 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:04.160 lives like them, who loves like them, they're more likely 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:06.920 to take a leap of faith necessary to follow their dreams, 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:10.320 whether it be a scientist, a doctor, a lawyer, a politician, 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:14.280 a singer, or just simply a media entertainer. As a 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.959 black woman, a plus size black woman at that, I 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:20.000 know the struggle of wondering if I might be what 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:22.000 people are looking for when they think of a heroine 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:25.160 or the love interest. Now, through my own personal work, 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:27.679 I've been able to come into my authentic self, but 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:30.040 don't get its WestEd and I want a constant journey 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.039 of self discovery. And today I'm happy to talk to 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:36.680 a very talented young woman who's found her authentic self. 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:41.440 Today I'm talking with upcoming musical artist Jada Michael. I'm really, 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:44.839 really blessed to say that my experience with being queer 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:50.360 was actually relatively simple and positive within my own family. 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:53.320 Data is based out of Miami and a plus size, 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:57.360 queer Black woman who was unapologetic about who she is. 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:00.920 We talk about her popular single Breathe as well as 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:05.160 her new single Freak, The importance of loving ourselves and 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:08.480 the resilience that it requires, along with the struggle of 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:12.440 being authentic and creating your own moment so without further, Ado, 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:17.200 it's time for your dose of vitamin D D right 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:25.280 with me and get excited about Jada Michael. How you 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:29.280 doing today? I'm doing really well. How about you? You know, 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:33.200 I'm amazing, I'm real good. And um, I just I 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:36.200 was just thinking about preparing it for this conversation we're 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.120 gonna have because I think it's it's it's going to 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:42.840 be beautiful. And you know, just having the moment to 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.240 comb through your work is just such a reflection of 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:49.639 what vitamin D is all about. Yes, so vitamin D 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:51.880 just if you did not know, it's all of it's 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:54.160 a pun off my name, and so it's all about 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:56.520 shed and light. So you can't live without vitamin D. 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:59.440 And it's just showing our beauty in different ways and 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:04.480 just being unapologetically who you are and doing what you do. Absolutely, 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:06.080 I'm so that's so sweet of you to say that, 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:08.880 because I really appreciate you bringing this kind of platform 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:11.000 for this energy to the table because a lot of 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:14.079 people are interested in this kind of situation right now 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:17.000 as far as the norm being such negative energy and 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:21.079 the media constantly. So you're doing important stuff. Girl. Look, 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:24.799 we all got to be a vesta for something one 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:27.480 way or another. If we don't choose something, it'll choose us. 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:31.280 Held on, Wait a minute, what's what what are you 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:34.960 about to do today? Okay, I'm just here with you. 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:40.520 It's just us, so I want to welcome you. And 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:43.600 um you're listening. Folks are listening right now. Who is 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:47.440 data Michael? I saw that question and I love it. 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:50.360 You would think it would be an easy question to answer, 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:53.720 but it's so it's so much deeper than that. I 0:03:53.800 --> 0:04:01.880 can say, Okay, I'm a queer black female and I'm 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:04.720 moving in the path towards my happiness and to accomplishing 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:07.440 my desires. I guess that's all I can really say. 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:11.400 That's the long story short. I love that, and I 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:14.000 think the thing that's when I thought about like who 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:17.600 is Jada Michael? I saw truth? That's what I saw. 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:20.039 You know all of that's the definition of that, but 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:22.400 it was the truth. It was a boldness like I'm 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:25.680 reading your bio, so I come across your your your 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:30.080 your single freak. I was everything that you said in 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:32.400 the bio, how you want to captivate And when she 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:36.040 opens her mouth, all of this confidence exudes, this fearlessness. 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:40.200 I was zoned in from the tone, and I just 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:43.000 thought and I was like, Wow, had I been a 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:46.320 few years younger and I saw somebody like you, probably 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:48.839 what more I could have done or just how the 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:51.800 projection of life because you don't see that first and 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:59.479 foremost a curby girl owning her sexiness, owning herself. No, 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:01.880 I'm so really it's been I feel the same way. 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:03.719 That's a part of the reason that I've gotten to 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:06.919 this place is, um, it's odd as as a black 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:10.159 woman there's more representation, but the big girls just don't 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:15.360 be getting love. Yeah, it's it's really rough and um, 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:17.719 I was talking to someone the other day, but also 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.840 when big girls and body sexy, there's very particular ways 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:24.719 in which is appropriate and overall it's just it's just 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:27.680 the list of rules that's played out. And I'm really 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:30.240 really grateful to hear you say that I offered you 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.599 some sort of inspiration the same way you do to me. 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.040 And I'm sure for hundreds of girls as well, because 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:39.880 it's it's a muth for a Representation is crucial, crucial 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:44.360 and underminded constantly. But you know, I think it's also 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:48.359 what you gotta taken consideration to. UM, the representation isn't 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:50.760 another reason why it isn't there because a lot of 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:54.280 people don't know that they can own it. I think 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:57.239 it's all about you, know, how you're stepping into yourself. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.000 And that's what I saw when I saw this video. 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:01.520 So I saw this carving girl. Girl. There, Wait a minute, 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:05.279 I'm in the trance already of just seeing you. And 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:09.359 then go and behold there's another female in the video 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:14.000 that is your love interest. I don't fight, they're not 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:19.600 just It was what I feel like right now, especially 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.160 when you talk about truth, because I think right now, 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:24.840 this whole that's all it is. The vision is just 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:27.839 tuning in. Yeah, you see of things you gotta you 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:29.800 gotta work up on. People could talk about, you know, 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:32.000 this coronavirus is going off, but guess what if your 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:35.760 health was good how long? Yeah, that's very true. There's 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:38.880 some weird side effects to the pandemic as far as 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:42.320 emotionally and spiritually, the way that it's making people gather 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:47.039 themselves and look at themselves. It's overall like an overwhelming 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:51.000 time but really building people up, even myself included the 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:54.000 people around me. There's some people who are struggling, but 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:57.719 a lot of people people's endurance and ability to have 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.880 faith in themselves and what they can accomplish has been 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:04.159 really affected by this pandemic in people having to push 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:09.080 through these uncomfortable a situations for real though, right and 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:12.520 you know, we talk about these uncomfortable situations. You coming 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:15.280 out was freak. Was everything, like you said, was against 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:18.080 the norm. Now we can go on to the usual 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:21.080 field and say, oh my gosh, that is so amazing 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:23.800 that you were just bold enough to own your sexuality, 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:25.960 to own your cars. But can we go a little 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:30.800 deeper real quick? I mean, that's fine, I'm interested in 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:35.680 knowing what was that process like to create that video. Well, 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:39.400 there's like the short term answer, and then within the 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:41.960 content of the conversation we're having now, I guess technically 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.400 it was a way longer process because when I'm thinking 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:47.480 short term, it's like I wrote a sexy song, make 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:50.920 a sexy video, express myself, have fun. But to be 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:53.560 able to get to that place of having that come 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:56.720 with so much ease, yeah, that was a long time coming. Exist, 0:07:56.840 --> 0:08:00.520 that was a long time coming. The con vidence and 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:06.400 the ability to embrace my sexuality in a casual way 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:09.320 took a really long time because I grew up in 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:11.520 an environment. I grew up in Reno, Nevada. It's a 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:15.960 really small, predominantly white town. And so that whole representation 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:20.040 representation conversation we were having before, I wasn't really getting 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:22.360 a lot of that UM. And even though I've always 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:26.600 been a pretty naturally confident person, it was it's very 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:29.480 odd to look around you in society and even as 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:31.440 a child, you're not aware, and then you keep keep 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:34.800 getting these little signs that something about you was unacceptable 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.440 or less than. It took me a long time at 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.760 first even really noticed that. I think it played a 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.000 role in my life, but it took me a while 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:44.880 to be like, Okay, well, like society is not really 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:48.439 vibing with the stuff I'm bringing to the table. Okay, 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:50.720 you know that's something to deal with. I moved to 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:53.960 Miami when I was twelve. Um, it was a whole 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:58.160 different atmosphere to be embraced and just be around people 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:01.880 who felt really similar to me. And I kind of 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:04.559 got locked up in this process where I felt like 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:08.520 I wasn't getting any attention or praise um when I 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:10.800 was growing up in Reno, and I felt like I 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:13.280 might have been chasing that in a way once I 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:18.280 did move to Miami and come into people showing me appreciation, 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:20.640 and even then I was like, damn, okay, So like 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:23.480 now I'm getting appreciated, people are showing me love, telling 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:25.880 me I'm beautiful, this is cool, my friends look like me. 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:30.840 But I'm still kind of chasing an image of having 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.880 people gratify who I am. So even though yes, I'm 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:37.640 getting more gratification, is it from the people I wanted from? 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:40.120 Is it from myself? And I just had had a 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:43.520 long look in the mirror as far as like understanding 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:47.480 why I'm beautiful to myself, understanding that a lot of 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:50.760 the definitions of beauty that we've been provided by society 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.520 are bullshit and I don't even know if I agree 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:55.880 with any of this. So that was like a shocking, 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:59.720 scary moment to realize, Okay, like I wasn't confident at 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:02.400 first because someone told me to. Maybe in my confident 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:05.480 now because someone's also telling me to. It was just like, nah, 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:07.360 this ain't end. I just kind of had to really 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:10.400 strip myself there and I kind of pushed myself to 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.120 like start wearing the clothes that I was like, you know, 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:15.600 like a lot of people say, my body type, this 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:17.640 isn't for me, but I kind of want to do this, 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:22.599 and I would keep pushing to to normalize expressing myself. 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:25.840 And I guess that is what basically led to Freak 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:27.800 because now I'm at a place in my life where 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:32.319 it's mundane almost to express myself. So it's really beautiful 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:35.480 to hear feedback from people with that girl. That was impactful. 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:39.040 And that's just what blackness and queerness and femininity is. 0:10:39.240 --> 0:10:42.280 I out here trying to step into anything. I'm just 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:45.880 able to let it down, do what's happening, and people 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:49.920 are there, that's what they're resonating with. So I guess 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.080 it was my whole life building up to free Now 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:54.200 that you ask you to mis context, I never really 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.440 thought about it like that, but yeah, it took a 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:59.640 long time for being sexy to be you know, you've 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:03.080 listened to the song. It's it's not it's not about showmanship. 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:06.040 It's about me, my girl. We're about to do the 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:09.080 most natural thing that you know, humans do. And so 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.199 I think it's really beautiful that people have been able 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:14.240 to bring such empowerment when for me it was just 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:19.240 a very casual, you know, experience, as far as expressing myself, 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:21.880 but people need it so bad. I think that's why 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:25.400 the reaction has been so positive, because it's not it's 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.199 something unusual to see, to see someone who looks a 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.920 certain way coming into themselves. But I'm blessed that. I'm 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:34.400 happy that people are are gravitating towards it and like 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:37.640 finding inspiration within it for sure. And did you find 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:40.560 that you are hesitant having your love interest to be 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:42.880 a female? Like, was that your sexuality ever a thing 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:44.880 for you growing up? I'm just saying, you know, it's 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:47.000 one thing, like I was saying, like being confident your body, 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:48.839 but it was you had a couple of layers on 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.800 that was still your true, very true. I got all 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:56.160 the layers that we got to have to be honest. Um, 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:59.559 I'm really really blessed to say that my experience with 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:05.160 being queer was actually relatively simple and positive within my 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:08.600 own family. UM. I have another sibling who's queer. She 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.560 came out before me, so my parents were like, you know, 0:12:11.720 --> 0:12:14.679 kind of got associated towards what that looked like and 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:18.880 felt like. Um, But by the time that I came 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:21.800 into touch with myself, I was already burying in tune 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.840 with my confidence, and the people around me kind of 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.640 were just like when Jada knows what she wants to do, 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:30.800 just just let Jayda go. So I'm really blessed to 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:34.440 say that, as far as I've never had anything but 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:38.320 really positive experiences with my family about women and and 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.640 so freak, I didn't really think twice about having a 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:43.920 woman in the video. Um, So that that's such a 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:45.719 blessing for me because I know there's a hundreds and 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.320 hundreds of queer artists out there who have people down 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:50.320 their neck telling them like, I don't know if you 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.520 should do that, And actually worked with people in my 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:55.360 past who have told me like like like say she 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.959 and your songs later, but right now it's not gonna work. 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:00.280 And then what did you abide by that at first started? 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:02.360 You always say no, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:06.000 say no, And that's a percent how it was. You know, 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:08.040 I lied. I lied. There was one time when I 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.800 did because I am pan sexual. So it's not like 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.160 I'm I'm not lying by saying he in a song, 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:16.400 because it's not to say that's impossible. Um, but it 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:22.280 was it was shocking to experience being told that even 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:26.000 like you know it's coming, you know, person, it was different, 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.120 you know, like I shoot my video and they want 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:30.360 to put me in the little ways censure and they 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:33.120 want to so you know it's gonna come. But it 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:36.880 was shocking to hear it. But at this point I 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:41.400 feel very confident and being articulate about like, nah, I 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:43.719 think I'm almost created the energy around me where it's 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:47.120 like coming with like business and like designed by sure. 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:49.520 But if it's about like what's in the pants of 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:52.480 the person in the video, like that's not a conversation, 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:55.560 like we're just gonna leave it. I love that And 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:57.079 I feel like a lot of people need to see 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.040 that more because if it's not why or not you're 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:00.880 gonna look at the somebody's actually ill, really, whether you're 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:03.920 gonna look at their size, whether they're religious beliefs, it's 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:06.560 just your truth. And it's like, as long as you 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:11.719 stay true to who you are, how can you lose? Absolutely? Absolutely? 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:13.520 And I feel like there was such a large long 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:16.840 period of time and music where the audience wanted to 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:20.640 see people in a mold like hot guy, like skinny 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:23.680 dancer girl, like they wanted this image. But people are 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.320 like kind of sick of that they're gonna read you 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:29.320 if you're not being authentic. So I just I just 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:31.160 have a gut feeling that if I were to try 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.400 to fit a mold, especially with me being different, there's 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:36.480 not really a mold for me to fit, you know 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.480 what I mean, Like y'all are trying to to compare 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.760 me to some big pop hip hop star who you know, 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.280 really beside star who and girl Lizzo holding it down 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:50.280 like where they like, there's not a mold to fit. 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.640 So that's why I'm just like, authenticity is definitely really 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:55.920 important to me. And just looking at some coming through 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:57.840 just on your music, on your YouTube, that was one 0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:00.000 thing you said, It's like I want to show myself 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:01.720 and it was like you said, this was the first 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:03.960 time that you came out and you brought that sexy 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.880 and you were bold and daring with it. And the 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:10.720 fact that it's crossing my desk where I'm at, I'm like, wow, 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:12.680 I want to be able to support because it's like 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.720 I see you and I see the truth in you, 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:19.000 and that makes me think, like, Okay, as you were 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:22.560 going through these challenges as far as like of I'm 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:26.280 sure the setback, So just other people having things to say, 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.840 how did you know? And this may sound interesting, this 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.600 may sound because you didn't see representation like you. How 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:37.080 did you discover that you were beautiful? Did you? You 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:40.040 said that in your inspiration with your music, how you 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.720 had to Beyonce, your realna and so forth, and then 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.640 you threw in there you said that Ella Fitzgerald, and 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:49.160 it may be wonder you said your dad had influenced you. 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:51.920 Did you grow up with your dad? Yeah? I did. 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:54.560 I did, And a lot of the women on my 0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:56.880 dad said my mom is white, my dad is black, 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.560 and a lot of the women on my dad's side 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:03.840 of the family were crucial parts and me understanding that 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:05.880 just because you know, in a white city, it's really 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.280 it's weird to not be around anyone who looks like you. 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.600 I don't care what anyone says. It's it's a it 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:14.040 takes some time to like really sit into that. But 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:17.200 I will say as far as where I'm at with 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:20.440 it now, as far as like understanding why my body 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:24.040 and how my body was sexy, um and even myself, 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.440 I realized all the contradictions. I am even sexually attracted 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:29.400 to plus size women. So it's like, how can I 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.520 know the bodies are fine because I'm holler the girls 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:34.800 who look somewhere go away, but I look so it's 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.520 like I always had it. But that extra step of 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:41.760 the self love definitely came through family and also just 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:45.640 a spiritual process. A big part of my confidence, I 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:48.560 says to my sound contradictory, but I think you'll get me. 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:51.040 A big part of my confidence and how I look 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:54.080 is how little I care about how I look. You 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:59.280 gotta camp through. You get that. I love the boogie, 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:01.320 I love it all all. But at the end of 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:03.440 the day, I really we're talking about vessels. I know 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:06.760 that my body is really just a vessel for my 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.080 my soul and my brain. It's just you know, some 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:11.679 flush so that I can walk and function. So I 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:14.320 kind of really try to connect with my body in 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:17.960 a simplistic way and it makes me. It's helped me 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:21.919 reprioritized my brain as far as like, yeah, there's a 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:23.520 ton of things I could look at in the mirror 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:27.680 and compare, but there's so many other you know, dark 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.480 forces and things happening in my life. But just the 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:32.800 way my priorities are set up, the way my body 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:35.560 looks is really not going to make the list, you know, So, 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.840 what are you doing to get everything online? Are you? 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:41.760 Is this a meditated What are we doing? There's a 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:44.560 lot of meditation. I can attribute a lot of it 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:48.600 to learning how to self soothe and just be a 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:54.159 independent person in general. Um as far as okay, I 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.080 was in a relationship for a really long time. I 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:58.679 just got out of relationship, and coming out of it 0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:01.639 makes me realize how much we rely on other things 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:06.000 for to create the life that you have instead of 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:11.119 actually providing them for yourself. Say it again one more time. 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.159 You reach out to other people and other things to 0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:18.040 create your life instead of creating that life for yourself. 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:21.760 Um So, I think just through that process of it's 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:23.480 a lot of reading myself, a lot of looking at 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:27.480 myself with a mirror and going, girl, what you So, 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:30.760 it's a lot of self conversation. It's a lot of 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:35.399 holding my inner self when times are low, supporting myself, 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:39.959 you know, just basically creating almost a romantic relationship within myself. 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:42.280 It has. It has taught me how to just be 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:45.240 very like self sufficient in that way. And I feel 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:49.080 like that as I get closer to myself in this relationship, 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:54.199 my confidence and my comfortable ability within myself just skyrockets, 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:56.960 you know what I mean, beyond accepting to a place 0:18:57.000 --> 0:19:00.439 of like, oh I'm feeling myself. But the closer I 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:02.920 get to myself, the more you know, the more lit 0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:08.960 me and her hypothetical me her you know what you said, 0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:12.440 like we are only here for a finite amount of time. 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:16.119 And it's like you in order to love yourself, if 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.200 you talk about living your best life, if you're talking 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:20.880 about really owning in your gift, like if you got 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:26.400 this dream right, if you are the vessel, the conduit, 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:29.840 the instrument to get to the dream that you know, 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:32.120 that came to you, that keeps you up at night, 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:35.320 that gets you excited about your life, who am I 0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:39.280 not to love on it? It's it's absurd and it's crazy. 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:42.960 We are constantly asked and think of it ourselves, what 0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:45.239 our weaknesses? What can't we do? What can we do? 0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:48.560 What can't we do? And we completely ignore the things 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:52.200 we can't do Slash have already done. It's it's really sad. 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:54.440 You can ask anybody, ask them so what you love 0:19:54.480 --> 0:19:58.000 about yourself? People are gonna be like, uh my, my, 0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:01.560 you know, like people don't know how to articulate feeling 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:06.280 positive feelings about themselves, and through that process so much 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:08.760 other ship comes. Not only the self love and the confidence, 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:11.159 but just as far as being able to be like 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:14.240 a resilient person. You know what I mean, because you 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.720 know those positive truths about yourself absolutely. And it came 0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:19.720 to me. I was watching this show. You know, I 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:22.040 don't get you have to watch too much TV, but 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:24.840 I stumbled on the show called The Morning Show, and 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:26.920 it made me think. She made a comment and she said, 0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:28.920 the secret to vitamin D and a lot of things 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:31.920 have been common, like numbers, Like I'm like metaphysical, I 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:34.240 believe in God, but a lot of spiritual sense. But 0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:36.560 I'm starting to be aware because I've decided to be 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:39.640 present and have a sound mind. That whole piece be still, 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:41.959 which we're gonna talk about in that single breathe in 0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:45.560 a minute, um, but just being in that moment. And 0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:48.200 I said, well, wait a minute. When we talk about 0:20:48.240 --> 0:20:50.359 loving ourselves, is that what you said that your journey 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:52.960 is it's about being in that truth. But the only 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:54.840 way to being that truth is that you gotta step 0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:56.639 in the light. Will hold. I don't wait a minute. 0:20:56.840 --> 0:20:59.080 It Vitamin D is that light that we're shining on, 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:02.440 just like you say you're gonna see the good, the bad, 0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:05.480 and the ugly. And when you're talking about being better 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.880 and doing better, it's saying I'm not hiding, and which 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:11.359 we can see with any relationship when we see it 0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:14.480 another person. But data, why do you think sometimes we 0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:18.560 don't see it with ourselves, right? I mean, I really 0:21:18.560 --> 0:21:21.359 think it's what we're taught, bra, It's not who tells you, 0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:23.359 Who told you that was a priority. You hear a 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:26.160 lot about mommy loves daddy if you're talking about traditional 0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:28.760 heterosexual the things that we're taught a lot as kid. 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:31.960 You love you, I love you, a boyfriend, girlfriend, But 0:21:32.080 --> 0:21:37.320 the whole dialect of talking about yourself as an individual, 0:21:37.800 --> 0:21:41.240 it doesn't even it's not really even commonplace. It's even 0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:44.040 shamed in a way that when you do talk about yourself, 0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:47.200 people will say you're doing it too much, especially as women, 0:21:47.359 --> 0:21:50.520 especially as women. You know, it's like the reasons why 0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:53.480 that is can you know, probably stem from a hundred 0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:57.240 different things. You know, people, lines and lines of you know, 0:21:57.680 --> 0:22:00.119 straight white men trying to piece you know, they're the 0:22:00.160 --> 0:22:01.879 whole other reason that I can get that way. But 0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:04.119 at the end of the day. Now that we have 0:22:04.359 --> 0:22:09.280 the information that we have that acceptance of yourself and 0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:12.040 just acceptance of the way things are, an awareness, it 0:22:12.119 --> 0:22:15.960 is more commonplace these kind of conversations. I feel like, 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:18.080 I'm I just turned twenty two, and I feel like 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:20.080 I've talked to a lot of people and all their 0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:23.159 crowds who were like I wasn't having those conversations, and 0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:27.200 that's a big deal. I'm talking to my slightly younger 0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:30.840 friends about it and the knowledge of like loving yourself 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:33.240 and not just like as like a little you know 0:22:33.359 --> 0:22:36.199 picture that you hang on your door, really like getting 0:22:36.240 --> 0:22:39.280 down and like treating yourself good, talking to yourself, talking 0:22:39.320 --> 0:22:41.560 to your inner child. Like now we're like, all right, 0:22:41.560 --> 0:22:44.600 we gotta get real because people are depressed and suicidal. 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:48.080 People are dying, and people been dying every day, but 0:22:48.200 --> 0:22:51.159 it's a different way that we're seeing it now. And 0:22:51.200 --> 0:22:53.840 you're like, yo, I don't have time to be unhappy. 0:22:53.880 --> 0:22:56.639 I don't have time for you adding negative to negativity 0:22:56.760 --> 0:22:59.360 to my space. I don't have time to not pursue 0:22:59.400 --> 0:23:04.000 my dreams. Absolutely absolutely, And a lot of people I 0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:06.600 was saying that with social media, it's so you have 0:23:06.760 --> 0:23:09.560 I'm like a very empathetic person and people have different 0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:12.360 levels of this. But because of the amount of knowledge 0:23:12.359 --> 0:23:17.000 that we have coming through us constantly, videos, you know, blogs, 0:23:17.240 --> 0:23:20.280 we might have our own personal demons. Okay, then everyone 0:23:20.320 --> 0:23:22.640 has a couple of quote a kind of relationships. You're 0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:26.240 dealing with families, demons, friends, even your man, your woman, 0:23:26.400 --> 0:23:30.479 your partners. And then you're watching thousands of videos of 0:23:30.640 --> 0:23:33.920 police brutality, and you know, it's like there's too many 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:37.320 harsh realities to not be like Nazis. I need to 0:23:37.359 --> 0:23:40.480 be diligent about it because like might as well get real. 0:23:40.520 --> 0:23:43.320 I was in a very very dark situation not too 0:23:43.359 --> 0:23:46.600 long ago this year, and I know myself and a 0:23:46.600 --> 0:23:48.719 lot of people can resonate with this. I have anxiety, 0:23:49.119 --> 0:23:50.840 and I know on my anxiety heightens, I can deal 0:23:50.880 --> 0:23:53.439 with depression. And sometimes when I deal with depression, it 0:23:53.520 --> 0:23:57.000 can move into a suicidal place. And I value myself 0:23:57.080 --> 0:24:01.080 too much to not get serious about my happiness. People 0:24:01.119 --> 0:24:03.359 want to be like, you know, focused on the little 0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:06.359 things like the dream, get a little nine to five, 0:24:06.560 --> 0:24:09.800 like really small minded thinking. And I know if I'm 0:24:09.880 --> 0:24:13.320 like lazy about my happiness and my dreams, I'm gonna 0:24:13.400 --> 0:24:16.040 end up like really not okay, and you'll be in 0:24:16.080 --> 0:24:17.560 a place when you'll be in a dark roman you 0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:20.159 don't even know the lights are off and that's the 0:24:20.320 --> 0:24:23.880 scary part. And I'm not going back there. I've done there, 0:24:23.920 --> 0:24:26.760 and I'm I couldn't have asked for anything to happen 0:24:26.800 --> 0:24:29.880 any other way because the lowlo I got to now 0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:33.080 is the direct reason why the high I'm in now 0:24:33.359 --> 0:24:37.679 feels so grounded and has the more potential to be 0:24:37.840 --> 0:24:41.880 more permanent and lasting because it's something that I've had 0:24:41.920 --> 0:24:44.680 to create and manifest with work. It's not like I'm 0:24:44.680 --> 0:24:47.119 happy because life is going easy because you don't know 0:24:47.160 --> 0:24:49.520 what you've been through. You know what you've been to 0:24:49.520 --> 0:24:52.439 know what you want to go exactly like I did that. 0:24:52.800 --> 0:24:54.560 You know, it's so interesting that you said that because 0:24:54.600 --> 0:24:56.159 I you know, I'll talked to people at times and 0:24:56.160 --> 0:24:58.320 I'm like, you know, I come off like I'm motivating, 0:24:58.359 --> 0:25:00.840 I'm inspiring, but a lot know what I do is 0:25:00.880 --> 0:25:04.080 to feed myself, and like you said, and sometimes we 0:25:04.119 --> 0:25:06.600 feel guilty in a selfish way, but it's not because 0:25:07.040 --> 0:25:09.640 it's almost like you're pouring in my cup, and when 0:25:09.640 --> 0:25:12.240 I pouring my cup, I can give you my overflowing. 0:25:12.280 --> 0:25:14.919 When I give you my overflow, I'm not missing it. 0:25:14.960 --> 0:25:17.240 In fact, I'm so full. I just want to share. 0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:21.439 Oh girl, I need I'm writing this down in my 0:25:21.480 --> 0:25:24.680 head because that's the realty that overflows what we're looking 0:25:24.680 --> 0:25:28.840 for out here. Bro. That's beautiful though for real to 0:25:28.960 --> 0:25:32.919 be able to feed yourself through your work is a must, 0:25:32.960 --> 0:25:36.159 and we're lucky to have like a creative passion that 0:25:36.240 --> 0:25:40.399 we can feed ourselves spiritually through our work and the 0:25:40.440 --> 0:25:43.040 way that we're like creating a living. So it's like 0:25:43.280 --> 0:25:46.200 I'm a value thatt it. I'm a really do all 0:25:46.240 --> 0:25:48.119 I can to put my eggs in my basket to 0:25:48.160 --> 0:25:50.680 see where I can take music. You know you're you're 0:25:50.680 --> 0:25:52.640 dealing in the same situation to see where you can 0:25:52.680 --> 0:25:56.800 take this dream. Because if I can have my passion 0:25:56.960 --> 0:26:01.280 supporting me style what what I do not do? Where 0:26:01.280 --> 0:26:05.040 can you not go? Imagine that your fewer joy that 0:26:05.160 --> 0:26:07.960 you give. Like I just did a an episode where 0:26:08.000 --> 0:26:10.200 I just wanted to my email back and have people 0:26:10.240 --> 0:26:13.159 ask questions and people are saying, well, things didn't go 0:26:13.359 --> 0:26:16.520 right or sometimes you know, get into a wrong situation. 0:26:16.560 --> 0:26:18.919 But it's like you sometimes have to be in a 0:26:19.000 --> 0:26:21.640 situation you're in, to know where it is you want 0:26:21.680 --> 0:26:24.800 to go, because if you're not happy where you're in, 0:26:24.960 --> 0:26:28.040 it's almost like having a wall behind you. There's only 0:26:28.080 --> 0:26:32.840 one direction to go, and that's forward. Absolutely yeah, And 0:26:32.840 --> 0:26:35.400 it's obviously it's always easier said than done. And there's 0:26:35.440 --> 0:26:37.480 that period of time when you're coming off a hard 0:26:37.520 --> 0:26:40.600 situation where it's kind of like hard to see it 0:26:40.640 --> 0:26:43.560 that way. But the situations that have brought me down 0:26:43.600 --> 0:26:46.040 the hardest I can talk about them now without a 0:26:46.080 --> 0:26:48.600 tear high. It's just it's just it really just goes 0:26:48.640 --> 0:26:52.600 to show you know what time and you know, a 0:26:52.600 --> 0:26:55.720 little bit of care for yourself can can create. Because 0:26:55.760 --> 0:26:58.360 the things I can handle now I couldn't. I couldn't 0:26:58.400 --> 0:27:00.800 handle once. And moving it back to Freak, it's the 0:27:00.840 --> 0:27:05.720 same thing. If I even consider doing wearing half the 0:27:05.760 --> 0:27:07.400 things that I was doing in that video when I 0:27:07.440 --> 0:27:12.960 was like fourteen, I'd be like, but one, age first, 0:27:13.080 --> 0:27:17.199 age appropriate first. But I was watching my Beyonce. You know, 0:27:17.240 --> 0:27:19.520 I just wanted it for myself, but I just felt 0:27:19.560 --> 0:27:22.240 like it wasn't for me. Yes, but you gotta understand that, 0:27:22.440 --> 0:27:24.440 like you and maybe maybe because you know I am, 0:27:24.520 --> 0:27:26.960 and I was born in a different decade than you, 0:27:27.320 --> 0:27:29.840 so maybe I see it differently, But I say it 0:27:29.960 --> 0:27:32.760 probably is a combination of two things. I think time 0:27:32.800 --> 0:27:35.520 has changed where people can, you know, there's more of 0:27:35.520 --> 0:27:37.840 a platform to be you in a sense, whether it's 0:27:37.880 --> 0:27:40.639 you working just working as a workforce, or you know, 0:27:40.720 --> 0:27:43.440 coming out expressing yourself. But I think too, there's a 0:27:43.480 --> 0:27:46.399 lot of consideration that you are definitely wise beyond your years. 0:27:46.480 --> 0:27:50.679 Like it's you know, like I feel like maybe I 0:27:50.760 --> 0:27:53.840 was probably in my late twenties of having this mindset 0:27:54.080 --> 0:27:55.920 that you have and it's just like, my god, where 0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:58.639 you can go with that, and you're talking about the 0:27:58.680 --> 0:28:01.520 different situations that you've been in. It made me think 0:28:01.560 --> 0:28:04.800 about and I mean, girl, I was listening to to 0:28:05.400 --> 0:28:08.080 how you turn your your Lights down Low, the remix 0:28:08.080 --> 0:28:11.560 that you did Girl, I gotta I was crying, and 0:28:11.600 --> 0:28:14.480 then I started going to the actual rep every three minutes, 0:28:14.520 --> 0:28:18.359 the thirty seconds to every day and every covers is written. Okay, 0:28:18.400 --> 0:28:22.320 but I wanna you know, as far as what you 0:28:22.480 --> 0:28:25.840 wrote and you talked about like owning your beauty and 0:28:25.880 --> 0:28:28.200 how your beauty is like this poem and how you 0:28:28.920 --> 0:28:30.960 tell me I don't know if you want to share 0:28:31.119 --> 0:28:34.199 maybe one of your favorite lines from that, but I 0:28:34.280 --> 0:28:37.919 made the rest to know how you vote that I 0:28:38.000 --> 0:28:41.160 was actually the premise of that is um I was doing. 0:28:41.280 --> 0:28:44.080 UM I was gonna do a little performance for an 0:28:44.080 --> 0:28:47.480 eating disorders organization. They were having a conference and they 0:28:47.480 --> 0:28:49.560 were said to sing some songs, and I'm looking through 0:28:49.600 --> 0:28:52.720 like inspirational songs and as far as just like body 0:28:52.800 --> 0:28:56.680 confidence specifically, You're not gonna really find too many songs 0:28:56.960 --> 0:28:59.400 that lose back to the conversation about self love not 0:28:59.440 --> 0:29:04.000 being normal. Eyes back here, so you know, self love 0:29:04.040 --> 0:29:07.120 songs are impossible to find. So um I just wanted 0:29:07.160 --> 0:29:10.760 to really say something that could potentially hit home for 0:29:10.840 --> 0:29:13.280 someone who had an eating disorder, any kind of issue 0:29:13.320 --> 0:29:15.720 with their body. It's funny you said that, because no 0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:17.760 one has You're the first person who has ever really 0:29:17.840 --> 0:29:20.080 like listened to that and brought that up in an interview. 0:29:20.440 --> 0:29:21.960 I don't think about it too much, but I really 0:29:21.960 --> 0:29:26.120 appreciate that you that you felt that because it was 0:29:26.160 --> 0:29:29.440 a vibe and it was a whole vid D that 0:29:29.520 --> 0:29:33.440 I'm about to recite. Let me excuse me, listen to this. 0:29:33.560 --> 0:29:35.400 When she ros, she says, when I look at you. 0:29:35.560 --> 0:29:38.239 The beauty is like a poem. Someday soon you'll let 0:29:38.280 --> 0:29:40.200 your head down and your show them the strength that 0:29:40.280 --> 0:29:43.520 you possess. You shall wear with the s upon your chest. 0:29:44.320 --> 0:29:50.640 Mm hmm. Man, the strength I answer, if you want 0:29:50.640 --> 0:29:53.239 to say favorite lines, the strength that you possess is 0:29:54.080 --> 0:29:57.920 that's a really important message of that because strength, you know, 0:29:58.000 --> 0:30:02.040 we stigmatize it in a way that you know is unrealistic. 0:30:02.080 --> 0:30:04.760 But the strength that women have in them and even 0:30:04.800 --> 0:30:09.120 people who have to deal with problems of self hate 0:30:09.120 --> 0:30:11.840 and eating disorders, it's like even the fact that you 0:30:12.320 --> 0:30:16.520 are moving each day when you're experiencing that, people view 0:30:17.000 --> 0:30:20.720 their struggles during the day as their weaknesses and who 0:30:20.760 --> 0:30:22.840 they are. When it's like, but here you are the 0:30:22.880 --> 0:30:26.000 next day and you are still feeling those feelings. And 0:30:26.040 --> 0:30:28.040 here we are the next day and you're moving and 0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:29.760 you're smiling, and you are packed me and I want 0:30:29.800 --> 0:30:32.000 to be your friend and we're talking and I'm getting 0:30:32.080 --> 0:30:34.440 light and energy from you. So you know, it's just 0:30:34.520 --> 0:30:38.120 like people don't realize that even within being able to 0:30:38.360 --> 0:30:42.920 endure those weaknesses, their strength within every and every cell 0:30:42.960 --> 0:30:45.480 of that. And then that's an important part about eating disorders. 0:30:45.640 --> 0:30:47.320 Do you do what you disorders? Have you have a 0:30:47.600 --> 0:30:51.400 history of it? I haven't personally, but I know a 0:30:51.520 --> 0:30:55.280 disturbing amount of people who have had to deal with that. 0:30:55.440 --> 0:30:58.440 My mom actually runs an eating disorders rehab center, so 0:30:58.560 --> 0:31:01.640 I'm really I've never had to experience anything like that, 0:31:01.680 --> 0:31:05.440 but it's like almost the norm amongst people. So it's 0:31:05.560 --> 0:31:08.160 very This is sad to say, but it's kind of 0:31:08.240 --> 0:31:10.760 a normal thing for me, Like I can, I can 0:31:10.840 --> 0:31:13.640 maybe say that about fifty of my friends have had 0:31:13.760 --> 0:31:16.680 or do deal with eating disorders. So it still feels 0:31:16.760 --> 0:31:18.680 very close to home because even though it wasn't an 0:31:18.680 --> 0:31:20.840 eating disorder, I did definitely have a lot of self 0:31:20.880 --> 0:31:23.640 hate with my body. So did you overeat? Was food 0:31:23.680 --> 0:31:25.640 of a thing for you? Or we just started like 0:31:25.800 --> 0:31:28.160 this is just naturally my body? Or do you say, 0:31:28.240 --> 0:31:32.520 like I am, I probably have over eaten sometimes. Oh yeah, 0:31:32.560 --> 0:31:35.680 I mean, I'm gonna be honest that that that happens. 0:31:35.680 --> 0:31:37.760 I have my nights. We have our nights. You know 0:31:38.160 --> 0:31:41.320 a couple of shots. We have a pizza oncelice terms 0:31:41.360 --> 0:31:46.000 of three cent. I've had my nights. We are just 0:31:46.120 --> 0:31:50.280 here for just so. But as far as um, just 0:31:50.480 --> 0:31:53.280 my body type. That's something I've also always really loved 0:31:53.280 --> 0:31:55.760 about myself. Like everyone, all the women in my family, 0:31:55.800 --> 0:31:58.080 we like, I'm I'm tall as hell. I'm six feet 0:31:58.160 --> 0:32:01.480 tall and the number game is irrelevant, but I'm alost 0:32:01.480 --> 0:32:04.680 three hundred pounds anny. I have never even been anywhere 0:32:04.760 --> 0:32:08.400 close to those boxes, you know what I'm saying, when 0:32:08.400 --> 0:32:11.040 I'm supposed to look. So I've always known and I 0:32:11.080 --> 0:32:13.520 was an athlete. I played basketball, I had two a 0:32:13.600 --> 0:32:17.520 day practices, was very strict about my diet, and I'm big. 0:32:18.040 --> 0:32:20.320 There are big people out here, and I know I 0:32:20.400 --> 0:32:23.400 got some skin and little friends who could do some 0:32:23.600 --> 0:32:26.200 damage on a pizza and a burger, and they're gonna 0:32:26.200 --> 0:32:29.120 stay that way. It's just that's that's what it is. 0:32:29.200 --> 0:32:31.800 We are not cloned. It has never been that way. 0:32:31.840 --> 0:32:33.840 It will never be that way, even if we all 0:32:33.880 --> 0:32:36.760 had the same diet and exercise. This practice is honey, 0:32:36.840 --> 0:32:39.080 and that's the that's the beauty of it. And I've 0:32:39.480 --> 0:32:41.360 and I love it. I'm not gonna lie. I really 0:32:41.480 --> 0:32:44.720 I really do love my size, height, height included. I 0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:46.920 love that you got to just be all bundle of 0:32:47.000 --> 0:32:50.840 love just loving on you. But you know, just back 0:32:50.840 --> 0:32:52.680 to that l chick where you're just talking about when 0:32:52.680 --> 0:32:54.920 we're talking about turn your lights down low that poem 0:32:55.240 --> 0:32:57.680 and you're talking about strength. It's so interesting because I 0:32:57.680 --> 0:33:01.680 think sometimes people think um with strengths and any weakness 0:33:02.160 --> 0:33:04.400 and always say, you know, strength is when you decide 0:33:04.440 --> 0:33:06.800 to show your weakness and the light, because I said, 0:33:06.800 --> 0:33:09.280 what allows a diamond to shine are the multitudes of 0:33:09.280 --> 0:33:11.760 cuts that have been placed in it. It's the pressure, 0:33:12.080 --> 0:33:14.600 and it's that cut of maybe you have some loans, 0:33:14.720 --> 0:33:17.760 maybe it's that cut that some people may say you're overweight, 0:33:17.840 --> 0:33:20.080 or that you battle depression, or that you've battled some 0:33:20.120 --> 0:33:22.920 part of your life that wasn't quote unquote perfect, but 0:33:23.000 --> 0:33:26.760 those slices and dices, and and because you sustain when 0:33:26.800 --> 0:33:28.840 you decide to be who you are and own that, 0:33:29.000 --> 0:33:31.640 the beauty of that and the value of that that 0:33:31.720 --> 0:33:36.960 I feel sometimes that people miss. Absolutely people want one 0:33:37.000 --> 0:33:40.640 thing or the other in happiness and within like within 0:33:40.800 --> 0:33:43.880 so many things and it's like nothing's black or white, 0:33:43.920 --> 0:33:47.560 bra like literally nothing one or the other. But yeah, 0:33:47.600 --> 0:33:53.080 accepting those weaknesses is and not to mention because I 0:33:53.120 --> 0:33:56.280 do think it's people mix this up. We're still, of 0:33:56.320 --> 0:34:00.840 course working towards strengthening our weaknesses and over coming them. 0:34:00.880 --> 0:34:03.720 But the people don't realize that the acceptance is a 0:34:03.760 --> 0:34:05.840 part of that process. That would be like no, I'm 0:34:05.880 --> 0:34:08.800 no more crying, you know, like like i gotta go. 0:34:08.960 --> 0:34:12.440 I'm a person, all right, Like it's gonna come up, babe, 0:34:12.560 --> 0:34:16.360 It's gonna come up. That's how deep. That's how emotionally 0:34:16.400 --> 0:34:20.000 impactful situations do it. It's gonna hit you and you 0:34:20.080 --> 0:34:23.000 just kind of when you face it, you can enlarge 0:34:23.080 --> 0:34:25.960 something a problem even though it is a problem so 0:34:26.080 --> 0:34:29.240 much more when you spiral and you keep going, don't 0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:32.280 talk about it, don't think about it. It's the time 0:34:32.400 --> 0:34:36.319 spent is gonna just double of whether you're not if 0:34:36.360 --> 0:34:39.720 you don't follow the alternative of just sitting and being 0:34:39.760 --> 0:34:43.640 like alright, demon like let's stock okay, So how about 0:34:43.680 --> 0:34:45.880 this is perfect? So what we gotta go next? Of 0:34:46.719 --> 0:34:51.160 just right? But you thought if we weren't gonna do 0:34:51.200 --> 0:34:55.840 this today, Jada, don't play with me, Ranny, I'm in 0:34:55.880 --> 0:35:01.080 the right mindset now, I'm ready for it. Oh you know, 0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:03.160 I think that's just right on time what you said. 0:35:03.600 --> 0:35:07.879 You know, you're in this situation everything is coming at 0:35:07.920 --> 0:35:11.239 you where it's like wait, I gotta sit still and 0:35:11.320 --> 0:35:15.799 just breathe. And from my understanding, your track Breathe was 0:35:16.040 --> 0:35:18.960 one of the ones that kind of up leverage your career. 0:35:19.480 --> 0:35:21.560 You had a moment to work with the late great 0:35:21.640 --> 0:35:25.800 Lashawn Daniels, come on, tell me about it, girl. That 0:35:26.120 --> 0:35:30.080 was like so surreal. I'll think back on it and 0:35:30.160 --> 0:35:33.680 think that I'm like delusional, like it didn't happen. But 0:35:33.840 --> 0:35:38.240 to be in that setting with him creating a track 0:35:38.360 --> 0:35:42.799 like that was honestly, like you four a guest, it 0:35:42.840 --> 0:35:45.239 will hold on not somebody's listening has no idea what 0:35:45.360 --> 0:35:50.120 is Breathe about? Okay, breathe? Um. I think my writing 0:35:50.120 --> 0:35:53.160 process it always changes. But a lot of the times 0:35:53.160 --> 0:35:56.200 I'll hear the track, the track from the producer, try 0:35:56.239 --> 0:35:59.960 to kind of see what feelings or experiences within myself 0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:03.400 it reminds me of and go there and I was like, okay, 0:36:03.440 --> 0:36:05.839 this is I was like, this is a real cool 0:36:05.880 --> 0:36:07.560 be but like I'm kind of just blank in the 0:36:07.560 --> 0:36:10.160 head right now. So I'm like, the tracks not giving 0:36:10.320 --> 0:36:13.120 me anything. Let me kind of switch my mind focus 0:36:13.200 --> 0:36:16.759 to what's happening in my life. And I just I 0:36:16.840 --> 0:36:19.600 forget when I wrote that. But me and society and 0:36:19.640 --> 0:36:22.440 the people around me. I just felt a lot of panic, 0:36:22.960 --> 0:36:27.240 a lot of like dread, as far as like thinking 0:36:27.400 --> 0:36:30.680 tirelessly about the past, stressing like a mother, or about 0:36:30.680 --> 0:36:34.000 the future. And I just wasn't feeling present within myself 0:36:34.040 --> 0:36:37.960 and I wasn't seeing people feel present. And I was like, Okay, 0:36:38.000 --> 0:36:40.279 you know what I talked. I told Lashawan, like, these 0:36:40.280 --> 0:36:43.799 are just some thoughts that I'm having. The poem that's 0:36:43.840 --> 0:36:47.040 at the end of Breathe was something I wrote a 0:36:47.080 --> 0:36:49.440 long time ago on the A train on the way 0:36:49.440 --> 0:36:51.760 to school because I was really pissed because I missed 0:36:51.920 --> 0:36:54.440 my class and I was like, oh, the worst thing, 0:36:54.960 --> 0:36:57.000 it never happened to me. I end up getting on 0:36:57.040 --> 0:36:59.759 the train and at the next stop, someone else missed 0:36:59.760 --> 0:37:02.640 their stop, and I was watching it all happen as 0:37:02.719 --> 0:37:05.000 if it had just happened to me, and I was 0:37:05.040 --> 0:37:08.000 just like, damn, like we all going through it, like 0:37:08.320 --> 0:37:12.000 we really all are, like have those days where it's 0:37:12.040 --> 0:37:16.360 like I'm pissed, I'm I'm depressed, like nothing's going right, 0:37:16.640 --> 0:37:21.719 And I just watched people really not be comfortable with 0:37:21.800 --> 0:37:24.560 just being It's like there's so many things that we 0:37:24.600 --> 0:37:27.680 want to achieve, and that is it. Go get your bread, 0:37:27.760 --> 0:37:31.080 go get your dreams, but like, look at your body, 0:37:31.120 --> 0:37:34.279 look at your face, look at the breath that look 0:37:34.320 --> 0:37:36.799 at the love and the things that you're able to 0:37:36.840 --> 0:37:40.080 do right now just being on this planet right now. 0:37:40.800 --> 0:37:43.759 Um for reasons that we all still trying to figure out, 0:37:43.920 --> 0:37:45.919 and I just wanted to have a song that could 0:37:45.960 --> 0:37:50.560 really help people connect with the fact that, despite anything 0:37:50.880 --> 0:37:55.439 that's going down, like you are, you are being. It's 0:37:55.440 --> 0:37:57.560 like when you get so into the project, it's like, 0:37:57.560 --> 0:38:00.000 oh my god, this is crazy, but hold up, I'm 0:38:00.040 --> 0:38:04.520 even tasting talking loving at the same time that all 0:38:04.560 --> 0:38:08.280 of this traumatic stuff is happening. So at every moment 0:38:08.320 --> 0:38:11.520 that there's something happening that's bringing you down in life, 0:38:12.000 --> 0:38:15.080 the fact that you're bringing life is a positive within itself, 0:38:15.440 --> 0:38:19.480 Like the breath connects you to that, and that's why 0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:23.279 we ended up going with just breathe um chorus in 0:38:23.280 --> 0:38:26.440 that song. Okay, so how did you get into the 0:38:26.480 --> 0:38:29.160 likes on the room with Lasan? How did you guys? Me? 0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:32.480 That was we met through a mutual friend and I 0:38:32.520 --> 0:38:35.799 can't even remember who it was. Actually, I believe that 0:38:35.880 --> 0:38:39.040 it was a lawyer of somebody that I had worked 0:38:39.080 --> 0:38:41.640 with in the past who had also done something for him, 0:38:41.640 --> 0:38:44.239 happened to had sent him a couple of songs, and 0:38:45.000 --> 0:38:47.160 I was to be honest and not expecting him to 0:38:47.200 --> 0:38:49.279 be down to work. I was kind of just more 0:38:49.360 --> 0:38:52.560 like thinking I'll get some feedback, because I'm always down 0:38:52.560 --> 0:38:56.080 for feedback, especially from someone of his level. I was like, 0:38:56.160 --> 0:38:58.240 you could drag me and I'm gonna feel so blessed 0:38:58.400 --> 0:39:00.759 to heave and hear it from you. Um. But yeah, 0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:02.319 he got a hold of the track and he liked 0:39:02.320 --> 0:39:05.440 it enough to want to collaborate, and I was like 0:39:06.239 --> 0:39:11.880 booking ticket, physically packing myself like I'm there, and yeah, 0:39:11.920 --> 0:39:18.360 somehow that happened. It was so educationally, educational, spiritually, musically. 0:39:18.960 --> 0:39:21.600 It just I did come out of that experience a 0:39:21.640 --> 0:39:24.919 different person than I went into it. And that's slip 0:39:25.360 --> 0:39:28.720 music is looking awesome. I'm so happy with my career choice. 0:39:29.040 --> 0:39:32.600 That's all I could really think during that whole period. Wow, Yeah, 0:39:32.680 --> 0:39:35.160 because I mean, like, you know, just knowing like his 0:39:35.320 --> 0:39:40.120 catalog Beyonce, Lady Gaga, you know, etcetera. And you know, 0:39:40.280 --> 0:39:43.160 even just like I was tuned into the words and 0:39:43.200 --> 0:39:45.080 just like you're talking about even at times like this 0:39:45.120 --> 0:39:48.960 with COVID and everything. Everybody is in this frenzy, this panic, 0:39:49.120 --> 0:39:51.640 and what we should be doing, we couldn't do it. 0:39:51.640 --> 0:39:54.080 And it's like, you know, while the song you were 0:39:54.200 --> 0:39:57.400 referring to your future in your life that encompasses so much, 0:39:57.600 --> 0:39:59.960 not only as far as our career, but our love 0:40:00.040 --> 0:40:03.759 of our destiny, our purpose, our family, what kind of 0:40:03.760 --> 0:40:07.120 house car and you just said hold off? Says to 0:40:08.640 --> 0:40:10.880 you said, what did you say? Hold on? You know 0:40:10.960 --> 0:40:14.200 I wrote it down. You said, there's greatness of your 0:40:14.239 --> 0:40:18.080 destiny baby steps. Yes, that's the recipe. You can make 0:40:18.080 --> 0:40:25.000 your baby if you just have to breathe. What stop? 0:40:25.360 --> 0:40:27.600 And and just like how you said in the conversation, 0:40:27.640 --> 0:40:30.400 you said, wait a minute, it's like a breath of life. 0:40:30.680 --> 0:40:34.360 Like once you start restricting and holding onto things, that's 0:40:34.400 --> 0:40:37.319 the stress. And that's why when you said like that 0:40:37.520 --> 0:40:41.560 fearlessness and who you are embodying that confidence, it's just 0:40:41.640 --> 0:40:46.080 the freedom that exudes absolutely and sending it back to 0:40:46.120 --> 0:40:48.719 what I was saying about the periods of time when 0:40:48.800 --> 0:40:51.440 you suppress things that it takes to be able to 0:40:51.520 --> 0:40:56.400 release things is a must. Um. So yeah, the breath 0:40:56.520 --> 0:40:58.319 and to even just you know, obviously you still have 0:40:58.360 --> 0:41:00.960 to like face what's going going on in your life. 0:41:01.000 --> 0:41:04.080 But those little moments of this will come and this 0:41:04.120 --> 0:41:07.239 will go. And you know, sometimes we love that things go. 0:41:07.480 --> 0:41:10.359 Sometimes we hate it, but either way, that's what it is. 0:41:10.760 --> 0:41:14.080 And to connect with the timing of life and the 0:41:14.200 --> 0:41:18.239 lack of order can sometimes be very peaceful. And knowing 0:41:18.280 --> 0:41:21.919 that at least at least I got this, I got this, 0:41:22.719 --> 0:41:25.839 like that's that's gonna be there regardless, and that does 0:41:26.000 --> 0:41:29.839 mean a lot, right, right, and and and realizing that 0:41:29.960 --> 0:41:32.640 when you work in that epic flow, like most the 0:41:32.680 --> 0:41:35.520 things that we think are so beautiful, at least myself, 0:41:35.920 --> 0:41:39.600 are things that aren't restricted. Like the water makes me happy. 0:41:39.640 --> 0:41:43.239 You can't stop its flow. It just moves when it 0:41:43.280 --> 0:41:46.000 needs to move, just like the wind. The sun doesn't 0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:51.640 ship Carol, who's out me and outshine? Right? Why we're 0:41:51.680 --> 0:41:55.320 embodiments of those things, you know, like the earth, the wind, 0:41:55.400 --> 0:41:58.960 the sun. We are all we are all vibrations that 0:41:59.000 --> 0:42:00.960 are just here and they're beauty. You know. We go 0:42:01.000 --> 0:42:02.600 out to me and you we're like, damn, this is beautiful. 0:42:02.600 --> 0:42:05.080 We see the animals running, well, this is beautiful. Let 0:42:05.080 --> 0:42:07.279 me watch the Discovery channel. But then we look at 0:42:07.440 --> 0:42:14.160 we're also products of this life and we're like happy. 0:42:14.160 --> 0:42:17.280 Can you give yourself some credit, man, give yourself credit 0:42:17.320 --> 0:42:19.600 on who you've been, where are you going, and what 0:42:19.680 --> 0:42:22.880 you're about to do so loud, on the fact of 0:42:23.280 --> 0:42:27.759 understanding that your location is not your destination. If we 0:42:27.920 --> 0:42:30.880 got out of that mindset, and that's the beauty of it. 0:42:31.080 --> 0:42:34.759 And you know, just having this conversation, I think the 0:42:34.760 --> 0:42:37.960 thing that I value so much is the relationship that 0:42:38.000 --> 0:42:41.560 you've established with yourself. The fact that you do see 0:42:41.560 --> 0:42:45.000 your beauty, the good or the bad, and just to 0:42:45.120 --> 0:42:47.240 know that you're gonna walk in it and it's gonna 0:42:47.320 --> 0:42:51.480 be okay, and guess what, you love it that way? 0:42:51.760 --> 0:42:54.719 Are you a bad chick? You know that you're a 0:42:54.760 --> 0:42:58.160 bad chick. I appreciate it, man, I was. I used 0:42:58.160 --> 0:43:00.080 to be off the rails girl. I'm telling you, it 0:43:00.200 --> 0:43:02.080 wouldn't have been this interview if you were to call 0:43:02.120 --> 0:43:04.640 me a couple of years back. But you know, here 0:43:04.680 --> 0:43:07.520 we are and I'm just the same. I really appreciate 0:43:07.560 --> 0:43:09.680 you saying that to me because I'm getting all of 0:43:09.760 --> 0:43:12.080 the same energy and vibrations back from you and the 0:43:12.120 --> 0:43:14.200 fact that you create the platform. I said it before 0:43:14.200 --> 0:43:15.960 I'm gonna say it again, and probably when we're before 0:43:16.040 --> 0:43:20.080 hanging up the platform for these conversations, the right girl 0:43:20.200 --> 0:43:23.600 clicks on this link and here's this conversation between us. 0:43:23.880 --> 0:43:28.320 Could be a monumental, like it can be a game changer. 0:43:28.520 --> 0:43:31.640 I'm just wonder, you know, uh, just some other previous 0:43:31.640 --> 0:43:33.360 products I had read across. I was talking to my 0:43:33.440 --> 0:43:36.320 sister and I was like, Yo, if you had something 0:43:36.320 --> 0:43:38.279 you wanted to ask her, what would you to ask? 0:43:39.080 --> 0:43:43.279 And so, are there any other lgbt Q artists that 0:43:43.360 --> 0:43:46.719 you want to work with? Is that? Is that a thing? Like? 0:43:47.320 --> 0:43:49.799 Is that annoying for people to constantly make it a 0:43:49.880 --> 0:43:51.960 thing that you are l g b t Q or 0:43:52.000 --> 0:43:54.400 is it like, Yo, that's my identity. I'm a black woman, 0:43:54.680 --> 0:43:58.000 I'm a queer woman. What is that? It actually makes 0:43:58.000 --> 0:44:01.480 me laugh because it really just shines the light on 0:44:01.560 --> 0:44:04.120 how rare it is. Like it's funny, like do you 0:44:04.160 --> 0:44:06.560 hear white girls? Like what's it like to be like 0:44:06.600 --> 0:44:10.640 white and skinny? It doesn't make me laugh because but 0:44:10.719 --> 0:44:12.919 it also excites me and I'm happy to like, I'm 0:44:12.920 --> 0:44:15.960 al down whatever people want to share or ask me. 0:44:16.080 --> 0:44:18.080 I'm not going to be defensive about it or anything 0:44:18.120 --> 0:44:22.000 like that. That's just like how I go. But it's 0:44:22.080 --> 0:44:24.480 there's a sad part of it when it's like damn, 0:44:24.560 --> 0:44:27.040 like this is foreign, like this is this is a 0:44:27.080 --> 0:44:32.480 foreign thing. But I'm happy to be a pioneer of fatness, 0:44:33.200 --> 0:44:36.879 a fat pioneer. I'm happy to do it because it's 0:44:36.960 --> 0:44:40.920 really people keep thinking of, Okay, so here's like people 0:44:40.960 --> 0:44:43.400 and then here's the other people and all there, and 0:44:43.440 --> 0:44:45.640 now the other people are kind of just like, but 0:44:45.680 --> 0:44:50.240 how we other when we've always been here then queer people, 0:44:50.280 --> 0:44:53.600 there's always been big people, Like this is just you know, 0:44:53.680 --> 0:44:55.080 the time that y'all now want to know what we 0:44:55.160 --> 0:44:57.520 gotta say. So people are like, wow, we want to 0:44:57.560 --> 0:44:59.880 know so bad. But the only reason they ask is 0:45:00.000 --> 0:45:03.160 because they haven't been listening. But I will say, I'm 0:45:03.320 --> 0:45:07.759 very connected to my communities, so I get excited at 0:45:07.800 --> 0:45:12.400 the idea of working with other black women or queer artists. Um, 0:45:12.440 --> 0:45:15.200 it's not something I want to be held to. I know. 0:45:15.239 --> 0:45:17.640 I watch it because people will be quick to be like, oh, 0:45:17.719 --> 0:45:20.160 like queer cover, like we only want queer music, we 0:45:20.200 --> 0:45:23.040 only want this, And if anyone wants to restrict me, 0:45:23.080 --> 0:45:24.840 it's just they're probably gonna end up not being my 0:45:24.920 --> 0:45:29.080 fan because I probably will. My exploration of myself I'm 0:45:29.080 --> 0:45:31.160 sure has a lot of turns that it's gonna take 0:45:31.200 --> 0:45:35.200 in the future. Um but said, I'm gonna work with 0:45:35.360 --> 0:45:39.279 all from um from the internet. Yes, yes, ces C 0:45:39.440 --> 0:45:42.920 S s All. I could just see especial. I adore her, 0:45:43.120 --> 0:45:47.640 I adore Klanni Um but queer and non queer artists alike. 0:45:47.760 --> 0:45:51.359 Collaboration is like everything to me. Even though I love 0:45:51.440 --> 0:45:53.759 being a solo artist, I love to do it. I 0:45:53.800 --> 0:45:56.600 was inquired, I was in musical theater, like. I love 0:45:56.680 --> 0:45:59.040 to work with people and I feel like they're so 0:45:59.560 --> 0:46:02.600 any one whose music has impacted me in any way, 0:46:03.040 --> 0:46:06.760 I'll be down to work with them pop rock, house music, 0:46:07.200 --> 0:46:10.200 trapped like, I just want to be in creative spaces. 0:46:10.280 --> 0:46:12.760 So girl, crossing my fingers. I've never done a feature. 0:46:12.760 --> 0:46:15.680 I've never had any really kind of feature before. So 0:46:16.160 --> 0:46:19.919 I okay, So wait a minute, huh huh. I got 0:46:19.960 --> 0:46:23.440 life tattooed in my mouth because I speak life. What 0:46:23.600 --> 0:46:25.839 are you speaking into existence right now? I don't say, 0:46:25.840 --> 0:46:28.640 foster your fingers? What do you want, Jada, You're right 0:46:29.080 --> 0:46:32.399 stitt in Kalani. Let's hop on a track. It's all good, 0:46:32.600 --> 0:46:37.160 let's catch vibes. I'll roll up and done insane. So 0:46:37.239 --> 0:46:41.359 now we're just waiting for the manifestation to happen. They man, man, 0:46:41.560 --> 0:46:45.240 I have a really good instinct. I have a really 0:46:45.280 --> 0:46:49.360 good instinct that people are gonna want a piece of 0:46:49.400 --> 0:46:50.920 what I'm bringing to the table. And I had a 0:46:50.960 --> 0:46:54.080 lot of doubt with that, like, is my authentic self 0:46:54.239 --> 0:46:55.520 because you know, at the end of the day, I 0:46:55.520 --> 0:46:57.680 want to make money as well. Is who I am 0:46:57.719 --> 0:47:01.399 authentically someone who people are gonna want to see. And 0:47:01.440 --> 0:47:03.799 the more I come into myself, I just feel like 0:47:04.160 --> 0:47:09.120 my brand annoying word, but it's something that people could 0:47:09.160 --> 0:47:13.919 really resonate with and really enjoy. And I wherever that's 0:47:13.920 --> 0:47:16.440 gonna take me. I I just have a good feeling 0:47:16.480 --> 0:47:18.680 about it. So hopefully we'll watch this interview in a 0:47:18.680 --> 0:47:23.480 couple of years and or have another another interview because 0:47:23.480 --> 0:47:25.440 we're Vitamin D is about to go off telling me 0:47:25.520 --> 0:47:30.000 you already right, I have a lot of I don't 0:47:30.040 --> 0:47:32.240 like to have. I don't know if you're in the zodiac, 0:47:32.400 --> 0:47:34.000 but I have some score being on me. I can 0:47:34.080 --> 0:47:36.839 be private, even though I'm very talkative. So even though 0:47:36.840 --> 0:47:39.799 I don't speak too much on what I want and 0:47:39.840 --> 0:47:42.320 who I want to work with. That ship is running 0:47:42.320 --> 0:47:45.480 in me constantly. So just know, even if I'm not 0:47:45.520 --> 0:47:48.680 speaking the manifestation, my heart is pumping for it all 0:47:48.680 --> 0:47:51.680 the time. Well, I'm glad you said that, because you 0:47:51.719 --> 0:47:53.600 know I had I was thinking, you know, as a 0:47:53.640 --> 0:47:56.160 lot of things have manifested for me, it's because you know, 0:47:56.200 --> 0:47:59.560 I really have taken time to really meditate and to 0:47:59.640 --> 0:48:03.600 do the Asian board, and I was wondering myself. I'm like, Okay, 0:48:03.600 --> 0:48:06.239 what is the importance? Like why is it so monumental 0:48:06.360 --> 0:48:08.080 to say the vision board. They're like, oh, because you 0:48:08.120 --> 0:48:10.919 gotta see it. But I think also what the thing 0:48:11.080 --> 0:48:14.759 is is the same thing that spearheaded this conversation. I 0:48:14.880 --> 0:48:18.000 guess you know what makes why so many other people 0:48:18.000 --> 0:48:20.440 look at you and wall is all is because of 0:48:20.440 --> 0:48:22.640 the connection that you have in yourself. And it's like, 0:48:22.719 --> 0:48:26.080 we have to be honest. We are a physical part 0:48:26.120 --> 0:48:28.719 of us, and there's a spiritual or energy part of us. 0:48:29.280 --> 0:48:36.280 Here's the thing when when needs to connect, there is magic. 0:48:36.880 --> 0:48:42.720 But let's be real, they exist on different realms, Because 0:48:42.719 --> 0:48:44.960 how is this somebody that can be in the middle 0:48:45.000 --> 0:48:48.640 of Reno, Nevada, or wherever area you grew up at 0:48:48.840 --> 0:48:52.080 where there weren't people that looked like you and knew you, 0:48:52.200 --> 0:48:55.560 knew where you were going with right. So I'm saying, 0:48:56.200 --> 0:48:59.200 if your reality isn't in front of you, well let's 0:48:59.200 --> 0:49:02.560 go down with any relationship. And when we talk about success, 0:49:02.600 --> 0:49:05.320 that's the relationship with self. All you gotta do is 0:49:05.440 --> 0:49:07.600 create the picture because I just gotta see it. So 0:49:07.719 --> 0:49:10.200 my spiritual because my spiritual knows what it is that 0:49:10.280 --> 0:49:12.840 I want, but the physical part I haven't seen it. 0:49:12.960 --> 0:49:16.160 So that's why I think personally that is so important 0:49:16.160 --> 0:49:18.760 to have that vision board because now I gotta reason 0:49:18.760 --> 0:49:21.319 to see it. And then because of that, I'm a 0:49:21.360 --> 0:49:24.279 firm believer that your ears are like an embryo. Now 0:49:24.320 --> 0:49:26.759 I'm not saying you gotta go to the mountaintop, but 0:49:26.840 --> 0:49:28.880 it's the same thing that you said and turn your 0:49:28.960 --> 0:49:32.200 light down. Now that remix you said, you gotta profess it. 0:49:32.840 --> 0:49:35.160 You gotta look in your you gotta look in the mirror, 0:49:35.320 --> 0:49:39.000 and you gotta say yes, absolutely no. I think that's 0:49:39.000 --> 0:49:41.600 really beautiful. The whole ears is the embryo. That is 0:49:42.000 --> 0:49:44.440 a must. And it's not to say that things can't 0:49:44.440 --> 0:49:48.200 happen by chance and come out of nowhere. But I agree, 0:49:48.280 --> 0:49:51.640 like even in the things I've seen, I've had such 0:49:51.680 --> 0:49:54.680 a blessed childhood and family experience, Like there are no 0:49:54.880 --> 0:49:57.759 words to talk about the gratitude of God. But I 0:49:57.800 --> 0:50:01.360 have some home girls within the Queer people of Color community, 0:50:01.560 --> 0:50:07.000 people be going through it and booming right now, Like 0:50:07.480 --> 0:50:11.160 parents just like not accepting them, not loving them, not 0:50:11.320 --> 0:50:15.760 there for them. People battling hunger and homelessness, and they're 0:50:15.840 --> 0:50:20.680 just beaming with light and with opportunities right now. And 0:50:20.719 --> 0:50:23.200 it's just like, you know that has to say something 0:50:23.239 --> 0:50:26.440 because her environment, their environment, a lot of that might 0:50:26.480 --> 0:50:28.920 not set you up for certain things. But when you 0:50:29.000 --> 0:50:36.480 create an environment internally can't bread those outcomes that tutor 0:50:36.640 --> 0:50:40.960 and a solid parental whatever could get you. You can 0:50:41.080 --> 0:50:44.520 do that for yourself. And and it's just crazy that 0:50:44.640 --> 0:50:47.360 we're talking about how self love is so like not normal. 0:50:48.280 --> 0:50:51.680 As you unlock that, you know, like you wonder, like 0:50:51.719 --> 0:50:53.520 what's the purpose of this stuff, Like, you know, get 0:50:53.560 --> 0:50:55.120 your job. A lot of people think these kind of 0:50:55.160 --> 0:50:58.000 conversations are like played out. It's like, girl, like get 0:50:58.040 --> 0:51:01.600 your money, grind happiness. You're gonna have bad and happy days. 0:51:01.640 --> 0:51:05.840 But the outcomes that can come from believing in yourself 0:51:06.080 --> 0:51:09.960 are too absurd and too powerful for me to not 0:51:10.080 --> 0:51:13.359 be like, no, I'm gonna invest in myself. It's it's 0:51:13.360 --> 0:51:16.400 crazy what we can accomplish, like like you said, connecting 0:51:16.480 --> 0:51:21.000 those realms the best that we can, like sparks, sparks 0:51:21.040 --> 0:51:25.080 sometimes not you know, life happened sometimes, but what's possible 0:51:25.440 --> 0:51:28.760 is positive, you know, and and what you're willing to create. 0:51:29.320 --> 0:51:31.400 But I'm telling you, you sparked a lot of different 0:51:31.440 --> 0:51:34.399 light bulbs, even with me, of just one saying that 0:51:34.600 --> 0:51:37.360 the way the sexiness was there, and and you know, 0:51:37.480 --> 0:51:39.840 just even with myself, like when it comes down to 0:51:39.920 --> 0:51:42.719 my own sexuality, I've been attracted to women and man. 0:51:42.760 --> 0:51:46.920 But to see that you owned it, like let me 0:51:46.960 --> 0:51:50.560 just grow. You know, I ain't never said nothing like that, really, 0:51:50.719 --> 0:51:56.279 I ain't never said, but I appreciate that because there 0:51:56.360 --> 0:51:58.719 was such a freedom when I saw you on there 0:51:58.760 --> 0:52:02.440 and it's just like right like co on, like right 0:52:04.360 --> 0:52:06.719 up on there and you're smoking yo j and you 0:52:06.880 --> 0:52:09.600 talked about it and it's just because there is a 0:52:09.719 --> 0:52:13.160 construct that that you're supposed to be this way, but 0:52:13.560 --> 0:52:15.600 you can still be a woman of a believer or 0:52:15.600 --> 0:52:18.799 a woman of whatever, because guess what, don't think that 0:52:19.000 --> 0:52:21.799 whatever you think that makes me amazing. Don't try to 0:52:21.880 --> 0:52:24.520 disregard what everything that makes the matter of who I am, 0:52:24.680 --> 0:52:28.680 because you can't get it without the other. Yeah. Absolutely 0:52:28.760 --> 0:52:31.720 for real though, and people like to act like you're pushed, 0:52:31.760 --> 0:52:34.320 like you're really but know, like those type of things, 0:52:34.360 --> 0:52:37.560 like it just lives within us, that beauty in that light, 0:52:37.680 --> 0:52:40.680 it is natural. It is. It's not for us, just 0:52:40.800 --> 0:52:42.839 the way that people be like, oh it's hard out here. 0:52:43.120 --> 0:52:46.839 There can be a little drop of some something impactful 0:52:46.880 --> 0:52:49.800 in there. And that's what we can do, especially during COVID, 0:52:50.040 --> 0:52:52.399 that's what these little podcasts can do for people. Within 0:52:52.400 --> 0:52:55.719 a day of um, you can still make the choice to, 0:52:55.760 --> 0:52:59.200 you know, guide yourself towards something that like can help you. 0:52:59.280 --> 0:53:01.520 It all comes back to you. Not it sounds kind 0:53:01.520 --> 0:53:03.080 of like selfish, but at the end of the day, 0:53:03.080 --> 0:53:09.440 when you love yourself, you love the people around you better. Anyway. Hello, Hello, Dang, dang, 0:53:09.760 --> 0:53:14.359 get your vitamin D right here. Oh you know, I 0:53:14.400 --> 0:53:16.040 was about to ask you. I was gonna say, hey, 0:53:16.160 --> 0:53:17.919 you know, is there anything that you want to leave 0:53:18.000 --> 0:53:20.680 people with? But you just let it out on the table. 0:53:21.640 --> 0:53:25.839 Thank you so much associated your prompt your questions. You're 0:53:25.840 --> 0:53:28.200 setting me up, You're making me think. I appreciate that 0:53:28.719 --> 0:53:31.720 absolutely well. Thank you for allowing me to operating my gift. 0:53:32.080 --> 0:53:35.960 Thank you for me even just highlighting, underlying, exclamating my 0:53:36.120 --> 0:53:41.880 truth and getting me excited about that. You yeah, almost Lord, 0:53:42.120 --> 0:53:44.719 the whole dead get younger. And that's like, I appreciate that. 0:53:44.880 --> 0:53:46.239 And that's why I was like, you know what, I 0:53:46.280 --> 0:53:49.239 have to do everything that I can't possible to put 0:53:49.280 --> 0:53:51.840 you on whatever platform that I can do that, because 0:53:52.120 --> 0:53:54.160 when I see somebody that looks like me and you 0:53:54.200 --> 0:53:57.160 are unapologetically bald queen, I'm gonna I'm gonna set you 0:53:57.239 --> 0:53:59.360 up on there. So best believe they're probably be a 0:53:59.480 --> 0:54:03.040 time again in are you were you located? I'm in Miami, 0:54:03.239 --> 0:54:05.879 so girl, we obviously on zoom now so you hit 0:54:05.920 --> 0:54:08.320 my line. But now I thank you for not only 0:54:08.719 --> 0:54:11.720 believing in seeing the value and me, but being able 0:54:11.760 --> 0:54:14.080 to make the choice. You know, I'm sure you could 0:54:14.080 --> 0:54:15.680 have got a different round with how you did this 0:54:15.760 --> 0:54:18.080 and brought anybody on here who was gonna do whatever, 0:54:18.480 --> 0:54:21.440 but you you making the choice to value people who 0:54:21.480 --> 0:54:24.439 are out here with a message, and you know that's 0:54:24.440 --> 0:54:27.160 a must as far as like as corny as it is, 0:54:27.200 --> 0:54:31.960 but making the world a better place like steps. Uh, 0:54:32.040 --> 0:54:34.240 this is what you said. You said it baby steps 0:54:34.239 --> 0:54:37.879 all the recipe right and and this kind of thing 0:54:38.040 --> 0:54:42.280 is that? So I really appreciated this platform has been awesome, awesome, Okay, 0:54:42.360 --> 0:54:45.560 so let's not make sure that no one forgets you're 0:54:45.640 --> 0:54:47.680 you're single. Lot right now is called Freak, and I 0:54:47.760 --> 0:54:50.680 understand you just released the remix of it. Is there 0:54:50.680 --> 0:54:52.839 anything you want to give a shout out or say 0:54:52.880 --> 0:54:57.360 anything about the single that that for people to check out? Um? 0:54:57.400 --> 0:54:59.440 I love Freak. The remix is a little bit more 0:54:59.480 --> 0:55:01.480 of a Dan five. I feel like people need to 0:55:01.520 --> 0:55:04.120 pick me up right now. I've never released anything like 0:55:04.160 --> 0:55:07.560 how this free mouth sounds. But ride with me and 0:55:07.640 --> 0:55:10.400 I hope that everyone enjoys it and can take something 0:55:10.480 --> 0:55:14.560 from it. Okay, all right, Well, thank you so much 0:55:14.560 --> 0:55:17.160 for sitting with me, and I hope that you continue 0:55:17.280 --> 0:55:20.560 to shine your light. Thank you so much. Hopefully we'll 0:55:20.600 --> 0:55:24.480 speak again soon once all these manifestations we plan coming too. 0:55:24.719 --> 0:55:27.400 I don't know about listen, I'm already walking in it. 0:55:28.200 --> 0:55:31.280 This is a matter of when it's about to show up. Really, 0:55:31.880 --> 0:55:34.680 I appreciate this so much. You're so sweet. Thank you 0:55:34.800 --> 0:55:40.120 for having me. Thank you bye bye. Let me tell 0:55:40.200 --> 0:55:44.360 you this. I wish I had that kind of clarity 0:55:44.400 --> 0:55:46.920 when I was in my early twenties. But you know what, 0:55:47.680 --> 0:55:49.920 life is a journey and not a destination. I mean, 0:55:50.000 --> 0:55:52.799 there's always time to grow, to learn, to evolve, and 0:55:52.840 --> 0:55:56.759 to change, Okay, And after this conversation with Jada, I 0:55:57.120 --> 0:55:58.960 just hope that it serves as a bike it of 0:55:59.040 --> 0:56:02.239 light and inspray and empowerment to a lot of other 0:56:02.320 --> 0:56:04.759 younger women out there in the world today, and that 0:56:04.840 --> 0:56:08.160 they have a better representation, a guide of what it 0:56:08.239 --> 0:56:10.719 means to be authentic selves and to have someone out 0:56:10.760 --> 0:56:13.080 there that looks just like them. In fact, I hope 0:56:13.120 --> 0:56:16.640 men and women alike understand the importance of what it 0:56:16.760 --> 0:56:21.520 means to be who you are, just the way you are, unapologetically. 0:56:22.000 --> 0:56:24.480 And you know, keep coming back to something I said 0:56:24.480 --> 0:56:27.960 in the episode. Strength is when you allow your weakness 0:56:28.040 --> 0:56:31.400 to shine in the light. Nothing in life is black 0:56:31.520 --> 0:56:34.880 or white. We all have weaknesses, we all have space 0:56:34.960 --> 0:56:37.360 as we feel we aren't living up to our best selves. 0:56:37.560 --> 0:56:39.560 But The moments when we aren't our best selves are 0:56:39.560 --> 0:56:43.680 so important because they show us that despite these temporary faults, 0:56:44.200 --> 0:56:48.080 we're still worthsome We're still capable of being our greatest asset. 0:56:48.440 --> 0:56:51.279 When we accept and acknowledge who we are, just the 0:56:51.320 --> 0:56:54.160 way we are, we make room to tap into our 0:56:54.160 --> 0:56:57.480 true potential. If you're interested in keeping up with Jada Michael, 0:56:57.520 --> 0:56:59.360 you can check your out on social media at the 0:56:59.440 --> 0:57:02.880 Jada Michael on Instagram and Jada Michael nineteen on Twitter. 0:57:03.280 --> 0:57:06.040 You can check out her music on all digital platforms, 0:57:06.040 --> 0:57:09.080 so be sure to check out her new single Freak Okay. 0:57:09.400 --> 0:57:11.399 And as always, you can catch us when you get 0:57:11.440 --> 0:57:15.080 your favorite podcasts each and every Monday with more inspiring 0:57:15.120 --> 0:57:18.280 conversations and insights. And if you're looking to get even 0:57:18.280 --> 0:57:20.480 more finem and day in your life, you can follow 0:57:20.520 --> 0:57:23.600 me on all social media at Dawn day Speaks, That's 0:57:23.720 --> 0:57:26.920 Dawn and d a i Speaks on all social media. 0:57:27.400 --> 0:57:31.560 Until next time, always remember you and your greatest asset.