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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. This is Nila

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Speaker 1: and I'm Erica and.

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Speaker 2: This is part two of last week's episode with Passport Caddy.

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Speaker 1: The M and man is for money.

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Speaker 3: Hope you enjoy and if you're just tuning in, make

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Speaker 3: sure you go back listen to part one because there

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Speaker 3: are some serious gems that were dropped that all of

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Speaker 3: us could benefit from. I'm already putting some in place

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Speaker 3: as we speak.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy. Bye so and then the last one is half

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Speaker 1: sexas and then number one question is what is.

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Speaker 4: To take me?

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Speaker 1: What is I have?

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Speaker 3: I have some friends that are so good and not

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Speaker 3: having sex so good. It's one of my girlfriends, Like

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Speaker 3: she's like, I'm dating this guy for like eight months.

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Speaker 3: She said, well, we don't like other things. But I'm like,

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Speaker 3: how the do you stuck? Because why were the other things?

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Speaker 3: Like like like I think I don't know if I

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Speaker 3: don't even think she sucked his dick, like I think

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Speaker 3: she's like rubbed maybe like he ate like e's eating

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Speaker 3: her out, like you know, but she's gotten away with it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Under the category of having sex too fast,

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Speaker 1: I always do. I'm a scorpio sex. I like you okay,

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Speaker 1: let's see, let's check it out.

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Speaker 3: So the answer to having sex too fast when they ask, like,

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Speaker 3: what's too fast, it's before you get anything. It doesn't matter,

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Speaker 3: there's no specific time, because what does it like is

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Speaker 3: getting something dinner? It's whatever you want, I swear to God.

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Speaker 3: So like, let's say you like. But then that's confusing though,

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Speaker 3: because get a lot of dinners and having sex to

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Speaker 3: you know, you know how many people aren't getting dinners though,

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Speaker 3: like and I mean dinner is at nice places, and

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Speaker 3: there's I know, I have guy friends, like I know

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Speaker 3: it really thinks that I'm about to take her out

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Speaker 3: to eat. I'm not, you know, like there's guy like.

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Speaker 3: So if you're already at that dinner level, then you

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Speaker 3: have to move on now to the next level.

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Speaker 1: You know what it is.

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Speaker 3: The dinner thing is like we could say it's not

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Speaker 3: that much until you turn around and you don't even

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Speaker 3: get that.

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Speaker 1: Then you're like, damn, he didn't even feed me.

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Speaker 3: He didn't even take me out, you know, So to

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Speaker 3: set the tone at least if he is dropping two

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Speaker 3: fifty three hundred dollars at Mastros or you know, you

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Speaker 3: guys go wherever to eat and he spends a couple

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Speaker 3: of hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: At least that was right, Like at least that was like.

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Speaker 3: First base, you know, and then when you got when

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Speaker 3: you guys start dealing with each other more, I mean,

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Speaker 3: you won't get things out of a guy immediately.

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Speaker 1: Week one, week two, week three.

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Speaker 3: I say, you don't fuck for like a month. Okay,

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Speaker 3: that's tip one. No, but you said something like you

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Speaker 3: have the most control when you haven't given your sex day.

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Speaker 3: And it's so it's true because more times than not

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Speaker 3: have has having sex made me feel in less control?

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Speaker 3: Never like, Yes, it happens where I feel empowered and

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Speaker 3: I feel in control.

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Speaker 1: And those are usually the men I don't.

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Speaker 3: Want or I don't want anything from right, you know,

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Speaker 3: it's just for sex, but it's something more like I

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Speaker 3: see like a potential future, I see a potential investor

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Speaker 3: in you.

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Speaker 1: It's something more like.

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Speaker 3: Sooner you feel like your value suddenly becomes your pussy.

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Speaker 3: Once he has this pussy and me, he will never

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Speaker 3: look back. But and that's not usually true. I don't

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Speaker 3: give a fuck, like and it doesn't matter if you're like,

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Speaker 3: I'm don't know, even like the Nina, this guy that

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Speaker 3: I'm messing around with short Bay, like I feel like

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Speaker 3: giving him the punsy too fast has shifted the dynamic

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Speaker 3: of our relationship, Whereas before, like I felt like he

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Speaker 3: was courting me, and now I'm like, and now that's

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Speaker 3: why I'm like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I fucked up.

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Speaker 2: I getting way too fast, you know, and well you

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Speaker 2: all types I pulled out all this time.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, bitch, you're just driving right in. Huh.

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Speaker 3: But there's you know, but there's different categories of guys.

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Speaker 3: Like if you kind of know that there's an opportunity

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Speaker 3: for you guys to have some sort of relationship or

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Speaker 3: deal with each other, you know, consistently, then I mean,

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Speaker 3: I don't see any problem with.

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Speaker 1: Having sex, going out whatever.

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Speaker 3: And then as time goes on, you start to you know,

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Speaker 3: set the tone for other things, like and it may

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Speaker 3: not be money, it may be Okay, we go on

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Speaker 3: these lavish dyce dates together, so now I want.

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Speaker 1: To go on a trip together, you know, or babe,

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Speaker 1: can you.

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Speaker 3: You know, when I was in Atlantica, one of the

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Speaker 3: girls stood up and was like, I can't even ask

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Speaker 3: the guy to watch my car. And I'm like, what

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Speaker 3: She's like, I just feel like he's gonna be like, damn, bitch,

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Speaker 3: you can't even wash your own car, you know, like

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Speaker 3: or whatever. And it's like I'm the type I act

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Speaker 3: like the most helpless woman in the world.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. There's as I need to hear.

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Speaker 1: I need to hear. I want to hear what this

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Speaker 1: sounds like.

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Speaker 3: You. I was like, you would never imagine that, right,

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Speaker 3: because I just seem so independent and powerful and like

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Speaker 3: you are strong and oh yeah I am. But I'm like, babe, like,

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Speaker 3: can you please take my car to get washed, because

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Speaker 3: like there's so many guys.

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Speaker 1: Over there, and I hate going over there, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, wait and stuff protect me. Yeah, like you don't,

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Speaker 3: like there's always like so many times, and I just

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Speaker 3: it makes me feel so uncomfortable being there, you know,

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Speaker 3: like and he.

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Speaker 1: He don't want to send you onto the wall give

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Speaker 1: me yeah exactly Netflix or you know.

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Speaker 3: And I literally say this, I'm like, maybe every single

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Speaker 3: thing that I can do myself, I act like I can't.

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Speaker 3: I'm like he throwing the garbage, and then he's like

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Speaker 3: and he's like he may even say, like, so what

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Speaker 3: you waited for me to get here, you know, to

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Speaker 3: throw it away?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, that's what your job is that I

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Speaker 1: don't do those things, but you know, or I'll say something.

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Speaker 3: Taking the trash out now, I wish your nigga would

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Speaker 3: tell me you wait now.

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Speaker 2: Right, I did, right, But I truly feel that way

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Speaker 2: you take out the trash.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like that everything that I want a guy to.

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Speaker 3: Do, Like, I'll say, that's you.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't want to do that. That's for you.

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Speaker 1: That's your job. Like that's for the guy. That's not

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Speaker 1: for me, you know.

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Speaker 3: Like, and I'll and and they will complain and complate

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Speaker 3: and complain it like, okare like, and that's that's one

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Speaker 3: thing I'll tell you.

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Speaker 1: Women. As soon as the guy complains one time, she's like,

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Speaker 1: oh fuck it, I'm not asking him again.

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Speaker 3: He was so mad. I mean, I'm you know, I'm

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Speaker 3: so mad. I don't like how he responded to me.

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Speaker 3: And and then all you did was just relieve him

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Speaker 3: of the duty.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, you're gonna learn he won. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: not at all.

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Speaker 3: So I'm the girl who's gonna and then like dudes

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Speaker 3: will be like, they will complain and they'll talk ship

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Speaker 3: and they'll be like yo. I'll be like yo, now

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Speaker 3: for one second, I'm so sorry about that. We had

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Speaker 3: to take a little break from the rain because the

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Speaker 3: tsunami's coming.

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Speaker 1: Coronavirus has taken over l A. It is washing away

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Speaker 1: our sins. So we're saying sorry. Okay, So we were

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Speaker 1: talking about.

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Speaker 3: The having sex too fast thing, right, and you were

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Speaker 3: saying that it's very rare that you've had sex and

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Speaker 3: been able to Oh you felt like you lost your

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Speaker 3: pow you had sex.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's what I was saying. Yeah, yeah, more

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Speaker 1: times than not.

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Speaker 3: You know what, there are times where I've had like

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Speaker 3: you know, for example, the father of my child, Like

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Speaker 3: we had sex the first night, but we knew each

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Speaker 3: other for a few years before.

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Speaker 1: That's not.

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Speaker 3: That's not a good example because he always loved me

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Speaker 3: and shiit wait, he was waiting. I had the power

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Speaker 3: and then I gave it away.

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Speaker 1: I even had a baby, you know what else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna say, like, yeah, more times than not.

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Speaker 3: I do feel that way. I'm always like why did

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Speaker 3: I do that? Like even there was a situation like

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Speaker 3: recently where I like this guy and like I don't

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Speaker 3: know what happened, Like I got high, I got paranoid

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Speaker 3: that we were making out and then I gave him

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Speaker 3: head and then I left. I left, I was like,

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Speaker 3: oh no, we can't sex. And then I was like

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Speaker 3: why do I give him head? And then I shamed

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Speaker 3: myself for that. I felt I gave away my power

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Speaker 3: and it was just like, yeah, I feel like more

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Speaker 3: times than I but did you guys reconnect again? We

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Speaker 3: did and it was yeah, it was more so me

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Speaker 3: in my head. That was that one was me in

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Speaker 3: my head. But a lot of times, yeah, I feel

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Speaker 3: like the dynamic does.

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Speaker 1: It does shift?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: It does, sure, and guys will admit that it's not

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Speaker 3: us just making that up definitely.

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Speaker 1: Now shut up Shell. So now.

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Speaker 3: With the have sex too fast thing, I just say,

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Speaker 3: if this is somebody who you have any sort of

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Speaker 3: intention for, whatever it is, whatever that goal is that

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Speaker 3: you have in your mind, you have to make sure

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Speaker 3: that you don't give sorry, that you don't give up

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Speaker 3: what you have before you get that. So, if you

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Speaker 3: have your rent paid in mind, you don't have sex

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Speaker 3: before your rent is paid. Yeah, but the thing is

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Speaker 3: the rent paid thing is for a specific type of

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Speaker 3: guy that doesn't use that's not usually the first thing

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Speaker 3: that happens. It's like steps you know, like climbing up

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Speaker 3: a ladder, it starts off small and that you know,

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Speaker 3: like it may start off with hair, it may start

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Speaker 3: off with nails, it may start up with you know,

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Speaker 3: get gas money. You know, it may there's there's levels

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Speaker 3: in between zero right now.

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Speaker 1: And I'm saying this. I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: I'm saying this because we have to be very mindful

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Speaker 3: that the average listener who's watching this, listening to this

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Speaker 3: is probably not gonna run into that guy who who's

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Speaker 3: gonna pay their rent, Like, we have to be realistic

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Speaker 3: about the guys that are out there. The guy who

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Speaker 3: works with X, the guy who works for the post office,

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Speaker 3: the guy who works who's a truck driver, the guy

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Speaker 3: who you know works at Chase. Nine times out of ten,

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Speaker 3: they're not gonna be running to pay your rent or

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Speaker 3: anybody's rent, right. And that's why I try to be

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Speaker 3: as realistic as I possibly can, because I've had my

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Speaker 3: share of people who had money that they've thrown out

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Speaker 3: big money. But I don't want to be realistic, I

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Speaker 3: mean unrealistic and set people up for failure.

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Speaker 1: That I tell people all the time, they're like.

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Speaker 3: So bent on getting a millionaire that they pass up

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Speaker 3: all the guys in the middle who can give them

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Speaker 3: a couple of hundred dollars every month, you know, like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: the guy who has these regular jobs can pay for

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Speaker 3: your hair, can take you out, Can y'all? Can go

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Speaker 3: on vacation y'all? Can you know he can give you

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Speaker 3: money to pay your parking tickets? So whatever the case is, Like,

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Speaker 3: but you're shooting for the millionaire to get these huge checks.

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Speaker 3: It's that's a minority of women, and even if you

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Speaker 3: can't get it done, that doesn't mean that you can

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Speaker 3: get it done consistently. Like, so for the average person,

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Speaker 3: you gotta there's levels. You gotta start up small, go

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Speaker 3: to the next thing, and go to the next thing.

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Speaker 3: Because women their biggest issue is asking period.

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Speaker 1: So we gotta get over that hump.

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Speaker 3: We gotta get over the Humpuck, how you gonna feel

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Speaker 3: you know what he's gonna think about you?

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Speaker 1: If you.

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Speaker 3: If like, if he's gonna say no, how how are

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Speaker 3: you going to process that?

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Speaker 1: Because women take the no heart, little girl that ship.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: The first time I got rejected, it was literally like

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Speaker 3: soul crushing, felt like the end of the world.

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Speaker 1: I was like, is this what men go through.

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Speaker 3: I was like, and it was a white man on

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Speaker 3: top of that, So, you know, that's why I don't

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Speaker 3: white men scare me.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, some white man could be cheap.

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Speaker 3: But I was like, I was rejected by his white

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Speaker 3: guy that I felt like had been like kind of

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Speaker 3: pursuing me and then I made it passed him and

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Speaker 3: then he was like whoa, whoa, And I was like, whoa, whoa.

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Speaker 3: I know about getting things from God. No, no, like

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Speaker 3: no reject Yeah. The rejection that I experienced was so severe,

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Speaker 3: you know, Okay, I get that.

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Speaker 2: Well, I hate to ask somebody for something that are

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Speaker 2: you not only going to ask you and then you

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Speaker 2: tell me now?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, But the no doesn't matter to me. It's the why.

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Speaker 3: Why is what matters. So when people get super offended

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Speaker 3: and clam up at the no, I'm like, it's not

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Speaker 3: that's not the problem. I need to know why, so

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Speaker 3: is it.

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Speaker 1: I don't have it. I don't believe in that you're

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Speaker 1: not worth it.

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Speaker 3: I don't fuck with you like that, you know, liket

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Speaker 3: like you need to know the why, yeah, and then

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Speaker 3: you need to and then you need to act accordingly. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: because you don't talk with me like that, then we're

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Speaker 3: probably shouldn't fuck to Yeah, yeah, probably shouldn't fuck with

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Speaker 3: so if you're not the sugar daddy for me.

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Speaker 1: But even even.

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Speaker 3: If it's not a sugar daddy situation, even if you're

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Speaker 3: in a relationship and a guy and you're like, baby,

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Speaker 3: can you.

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Speaker 1: Get my hair done? And he's like no, and you're

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Speaker 1: like why and he's like, cause, I'm not.

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Speaker 3: Paying for your hair. I'm not paying for your maintenance,

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Speaker 3: Like you don't pay for my haircuts. You know, like

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Speaker 3: at least you, guys n are starting to realize what

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Speaker 3: he believes in, what he doesn't believe in. And then

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Speaker 3: you're like, so.

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Speaker 1: So.

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Speaker 3: What what do you wanna pay for it? And no,

285
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Speaker 3: that's a legitimate question. I really do ask guys that. Well,

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Speaker 3: first of all, I'm way far advanced than the average

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Speaker 3: person who is nervous about So you're you're and you're

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Speaker 3: dating life. You're like weeding a lot of people, Yeah, what, like,

289
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Speaker 3: how how has dating been for you? Being in this

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Speaker 3: space of like, you know, you have these tips, these

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Speaker 3: rules that I'm maybe or maybe not you apply to

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Speaker 3: your own life. You know, it's all yeah, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 3: so right now, like this is my new thing, and

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Speaker 3: I it's been working marvelously, Not that it actually means

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Speaker 3: that I'm gonna get something, but it lets me know

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Speaker 3: what the situation is.

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Speaker 1: So I'll be talking to a.

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Speaker 3: Guy, getting to know him whatever, and then we'll be

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Speaker 3: on the phone and I'm like, so, what do you

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Speaker 3: pay for?

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00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 1: And he's like, huh, like what you mean? What do

302
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:19,920
Speaker 1: you mean? What I pay for it?

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Speaker 3: I'm trying to see what type of guy you are,

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Speaker 3: Like do you pay for hair?

305
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,480
Speaker 1: Do you pay for nails? Do you pay for trips?

306
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,120
Speaker 1: Do you pay for the restaurants? Do you pay for school?

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00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,840
Speaker 1: Do you pay for rent? Like? What do you pay for?

308
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Speaker 3: And then they'll be like ha, you know, they'll probably

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Speaker 3: laughing off whatever.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, cuz I just wanna, you know, I just

311
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Speaker 1: want to.

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Speaker 3: Get to know what type of person you are now,

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Speaker 3: so that you know, and some guys will tell they're

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Speaker 3: gonna tell you who they are. I don't pay for hair,

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Speaker 3: I don't pay for nails. I don't pay for phone bills.

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Speaker 3: I don't pay for this. You know, Oh, I only

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Speaker 3: do that if you're we're in a relationship. Oh, I

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Speaker 3: only do that if you know they will tell you.

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Speaker 3: So I've been loving this approach because it is the

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Speaker 3: most straightforward, you know, thing in an approach that you

321
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,920
Speaker 3: could ever take that somebody, we're just putting it out

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Speaker 3: on the table right now, And who's really gonna be

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Speaker 3: mad at that?

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Speaker 5: You know?

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Speaker 3: Like if they are mad, it's kind of like it's

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Speaker 3: all about the tone. To me. If you ask me,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, and I say it just like, I'm like, so,

328
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:26,439
Speaker 3: what are you paid for?

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Speaker 1: And then like they are taken that, but don't they

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Speaker 1: Do you think that they expect you to ask that?

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Speaker 3: Though too, No, because everybody doesn't know what I do

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Speaker 3: from the beginning. Do you think that that approach is

333
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 3: different for someone like that you actually really like see

334
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,159
Speaker 3: if you foresee maybe something more with versus something that

335
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 3: you are trying to be like this all the same

336
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,359
Speaker 3: because if I'm gonna be with you, I still need

337
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,239
Speaker 3: to know what you're want to pay for exactly like,

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00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,320
Speaker 3: and I'm not saying it in a way like oh

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Speaker 3: you better be my trick, or you better spend money

340
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Speaker 3: on me, or because I'm sucking you.

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't like that. So I don't even

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Speaker 1: treat guys like that. I just want to be clear

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Speaker 1: like this is, I do.

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Speaker 2: Have expectations if you let me see if which you

345
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,840
Speaker 2: agree to you when I agree to you, it makes sense.

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Speaker 2: This is because if not, yeah, like there's no need

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00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 2: to waste either of our time. And I think it

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00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,639
Speaker 2: is like a belief system. What is your belief system

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00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:25,439
Speaker 2: on finances, on chivalry? Because I believe, yes, there are

350
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Speaker 2: things that I provide.

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Speaker 1: For you, you know, and that I'm sure this is an exchange.

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Speaker 2: All my relationships are and someone in exchange, even if

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Speaker 2: it's an exchange of energy, but this one is also financial.

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Speaker 1: So what can you do? Let's see when we can.

355
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Speaker 3: But even that, it's like towards the end of the book,

356
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 3: the chapter is called relationships are not Free.

357
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,479
Speaker 1: It's true, they're not free. Like we're grown.

358
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 3: We gotta eat the toilet paper's gonna go twice as fast,

359
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 3: you know, the food is gonna go twice as fast.

360
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 1: The cable bill, Like I don't watch sports. You want ESPN,

361
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,120
Speaker 1: you know, like remember that, you.

362
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:05,199
Speaker 3: Know, like, oh, there's some bills that come along with

363
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 3: being in a relationship.

364
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,600
Speaker 1: Who's gonna pay for that? I don't want it to

365
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 1: be me.

366
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,160
Speaker 3: That's how I believe that's what I believe in. And

367
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,560
Speaker 3: you know, I'm sure you have your values too as

368
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 3: a man. So how many so, how many people do

369
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 3: you have that support you, support you, your dreams, yourself?

370
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 3: Like do you have if you had more so at

371
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 3: one time in your life than now? Like do you

372
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 3: like well and if you're in a relationship with someone,

373
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,959
Speaker 3: they do they expect you to then relinquish all of

374
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 3: you know, your people that just help you and support you. Well, No,

375
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 3: I don't have that life like that anymore older now,

376
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 3: So and I say that, like, what do you what

377
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 3: happens when you get well, you're fed up? Like this

378
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,160
Speaker 3: is a lot to be running around with a whole

379
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,239
Speaker 3: bunch of guys and getting this and getting that, Like

380
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 3: you have all that energy like in your twenties and

381
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 3: stuff like.

382
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 1: Then you get over thirty and you're like, all right,

383
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Speaker 1: so I motherfucking TI.

384
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 3: So that's when you probably settle down, get into a

385
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 3: relationship with one person, and you have to find a.

386
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 1: Person that you speak the same language with.

387
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 3: So the guy that I've been with, he's been super

388
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 3: supportive of everything that I was doing, you know, book

389
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 3: wise everything. It was so funny because even though the

390
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 3: book is about man. I used to when I was

391
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,360
Speaker 3: writing it. I'd like hand him and be like, read

392
00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 3: the chapter out loud to me, and then he's like, what,

393
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 3: I'm trying to see how it sounds. And then he'll

394
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 3: read it. He'll be like, oh my fucking but it

395
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,440
Speaker 3: is stopping from still doing, you know, Like that's when

396
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,400
Speaker 3: you know you found a good person because he appreciates

397
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 3: you for you know, he knows who you are.

398
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: You don't have to be afraid and hopefully a reputation.

399
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,360
Speaker 3: I tell people, the worst thing that you can do

400
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 3: when you have a situation like us who have podcasts

401
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 3: or you know, like let's say you're a dancer or

402
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 3: you do only fans or your playing star or whatever

403
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 3: the case is, or whatever reputation that you have, the

404
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,359
Speaker 3: worst thing that you could do is is try to

405
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 3: a hide it or like eat smooth it over for people,

406
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 3: because you're gonna have to keep on doing that. You're

407
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,920
Speaker 3: gonna have to keep on pacifying them. You're gonna have

408
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 3: to keep on rubbing their remnant shoulder like it is

409
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 3: what it is. You know, Like people gotta fall They

410
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 3: gotta either fall in or fall out, and you're not

411
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 3: gonna be able to keep on. It's gonna be too

412
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:34,119
Speaker 3: much of a struggle and too much energy for you

413
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 3: to be trying to do what you want to do

414
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 3: and what you need to do for your brand, for

415
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 3: your business, and trying to care about their feelings and

416
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 3: what they think and what they and what their funds

417
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 3: think and what their mom thinks and you know, like

418
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 3: all of that stuff. So at the end of the day,

419
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,199
Speaker 3: I just I don't feed into it anymore like I

420
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 3: used to. My content is so much better when I'm single,

421
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 3: like because you can say whatever the fuck you want,

422
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 3: and then when you're in a relationship, you're like caring

423
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 3: so much about what they think and how they feel

424
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 3: and you know what they're gonna see whatever, and then

425
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 3: you're just like, oh, this is so freaking watered down,

426
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 3: you know. And then I just I stopped doing that,

427
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 3: Like I've gotten in so much trouble from all the

428
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 3: podcasts that I've done, like because you know, he might

429
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 3: listen to it and be like the fun like, oh

430
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 3: you didn't tell me that, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

431
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:34,400
Speaker 1: And don't yeah.

432
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 3: That's definitely especially when you have like an alter ego

433
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 3: name like then they that's how you know, that's how

434
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 3: they get you. They start calling you like like, oh,

435
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 3: I don't know if your alex are cutting you're cutting me?

436
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 3: Oh my god, oh god, not cutting me.

437
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, I still think I think it's bigger than that too, though,

438
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 5: Like obviously it's a business in a brand that, like

439
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 5: you said earlier, it's like, this is our passion, you know,

440
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 5: and a lot, and that's our purpose.

441
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 2: And I was telling Erica because we had this conversation

442
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 2: in New York. She was like, he called me fast,

443
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 2: is our reputation ruining us? And of course we have

444
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 2: these like fiftanies like fuck. But also I'm like, I

445
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 2: told her, I'm like, even at the party I saw

446
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,879
Speaker 2: you at that he was somebody came up to me

447
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 2: and was like.

448
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: Oh I saw y'all. Y'all wild, And I was like damn.

449
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 1: And she was like, that's our reputation, We're wild.

450
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 2: She was like, oh no, And I'm just like it's

451
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,680
Speaker 2: you know, I think when what you're doing is your purpose,

452
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 2: the person that is for you is going to see

453
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 2: that and not try to dim your life. You know,

454
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 2: like a party wants to be like, well, you have

455
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 2: to compromise, and I'm like that part of you will

456
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 2: not have to compromise because essentially this is who the

457
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 2: fuck we are.

458
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, there's plenty of

459
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 3: women who ain't talking about this and they're still single, right.

460
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 1: So apparently it ain't not not being honest either.

461
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,920
Speaker 3: So for whatever reason, they don't like them, like why

462
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 3: stop doing what you're doing? And if the rest of

463
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 3: the people who are not talking about sucking deck still

464
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 3: don't have a man because.

465
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 1: What Yeah, it's like.

466
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 3: I try to not tell myself, like I try to

467
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 3: not restrict myself and tell myself like, yeah, you gotta

468
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 3: do this to get this, and you gotta do that to it,

469
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 3: because there's always proof and evidence that the opposite is

470
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,679
Speaker 3: still not you know.

471
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 1: Like it's like when people be.

472
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 3: Like, oh, you'll want sucking day, well, brol you better,

473
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 3: you know, because I always talk about how much I

474
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:32,679
Speaker 3: hate sucking dack.

475
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: It's just too much energy for me doing.

476
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 3: Sucking, Yes, but I don't want to, I really don't,

477
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 3: so and then everybody's always like, oh my god, like

478
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 3: you know, like it's sucking and neck like, so he

479
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 3: gonna cheat on your you know, But they're always saying

480
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 3: things like that or like, so you don't want a man,

481
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 3: Huh you don't want to no, no, whatever, And I'm.

482
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: Like, how many people suck dick and still got cheated on? Yeah,

483
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: so what are you talking about?

484
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 3: Like my dick's sucking feels didn't save me from they

485
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 3: didn't put on it, you know. And that's what you

486
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 3: talked about too, And I love that you said that,

487
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,440
Speaker 3: like the people have the power of the pussy fucked up,

488
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 3: like they have misinterpreted it and like they did use

489
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 3: and me and Jami talked about this how like we

490
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 3: like like how we've thought things would make men's stay,

491
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 3: you know, like oh god, if I just fuck you

492
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 3: so good this time? Like it sounds crazy to say

493
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 3: all loud, it is crazy, but yeah, man, I think

494
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 3: it's because you know, as women were told first of all,

495
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,239
Speaker 3: men have told us first of all, most of them

496
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 3: will tell you most pussy it feels the same, Yeah,

497
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 3: but then they're gone then But then I'm sure there's differences.

498
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 3: But like I'm just saying, like we believe, like we

499
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 3: have the magic, right, this is no one's pussy feels

500
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 3: like this, not because you know, it's funny, because I

501
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 3: do always ask guys about this particular question, like about

502
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 3: the pussy, and they never actually describe the pussy. They

503
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 3: described the sex, so they'll be like, you know, this

504
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 3: girl she could take it, this girl she can She's

505
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 3: it's more about like the positions and the sex faces

506
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 3: and like it's yeah.

507
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 1: So it was so warm, Yeah entered yeah walls slowly. Yeah,

508
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: there was this gyrating thing that she did. Right now.

509
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 3: The only thing that they ever say is like if

510
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 3: a girl is like dry or stink, like that really

511
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 3: concerned the vagina like warm? Right, Like even a lot

512
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 3: of guys haven't really talked about a girl being loose

513
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 3: or open, you know what I mean, Like maybe that

514
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 3: was a thing when we were younger, like.

515
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 1: You, right, they don't.

516
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 3: They're not talking about that. So that's how I that's

517
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 3: why I just be feeling like I'm never.

518
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: I don't whatever, I don't want to do, I'm just.

519
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 2: Not doing well.

520
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 3: There's a lot of scare tactics when it comes to

521
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 3: sex and our bodies and shit you know that have

522
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 3: been put in place and stuff on both sides for

523
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 3: men and their bodies because they have so many rules

524
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 3: about their bodies, and then for women and how we

525
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 3: deliver ours.

526
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we're the deliverers. Yeah, but I thought that

527
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 1: was interesting.

528
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 3: But you know I have I have like another thing

529
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 3: and I wanted to ask you about because so we

530
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,200
Speaker 3: have daughters, right, we have two daughters.

531
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 1: And.

532
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 3: We're always thinking about like how we want them to

533
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 3: what can we do like I for me, like I've

534
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 3: I struggled about like my self worth for a long time,

535
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 3: what I was good at, what my purpose was, like

536
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,880
Speaker 3: using sex as means to like don't leave me. How

537
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 3: do I not pass those things on to my daughter?

538
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: How do I teach her and empower her to ask

539
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,199
Speaker 3: for what she wants? And I'm not saying like I'm

540
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 3: talking about, you know, maybe go be you know, first

541
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 3: type of sugar daddy like, but I think this is

542
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 3: a deeper conversation really, and it's really about women being

543
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 3: able to just be okay and say what they need

544
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 3: and what they want and not feel bad about it.

545
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 3: So with that, it's always been so dear to me

546
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,959
Speaker 3: to like talk to and I don't do this, but

547
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 3: I want to, but I just I feel a little

548
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 3: uncomfortable with like speaking to like like you said, teenagers

549
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 3: and stuff about that.

550
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 1: But that's really where it starts.

551
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 3: It's like you don't want to talk to them about

552
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 3: these type of things too soon. But then you know

553
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 3: from your own experience, this is when we were going

554
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 3: through it, and this is kind of where it started,

555
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 3: that we were going downhill because there was nobody to like, really,

556
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 3: not not nobody, but for everybody, but for me personally,

557
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 3: there wasn't anybody who was talking to me about those

558
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 3: type of things. So it made me have to navigate

559
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 3: on my own. And now I did it wrong, And

560
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 3: then you know, like I wasted all my time and

561
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 3: bodies with these guys because I, you know, just was

562
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 3: fucking up.

563
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: I didn't know what I was doing.

564
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 3: So I my number one thing that I always wished

565
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 3: I could tell every single girl in the world is

566
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 3: never have sex with a guy to get him to

567
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 3: like you, because I can honestly say I used to

568
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 3: do that when I was a teenage women.

569
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 1: Women, I've done it, You're gonna like me more, let's

570
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: do it. But no, yeah exactly.

571
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 3: And then not only do you do that the first time,

572
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 3: but then you continue to use it to get him

573
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 3: to talk to you, pay your attention, spend time with you,

574
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 3: answer the phone, whatever, And then it's like Let's say

575
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 3: he's not paying you any attention, and then it's like, okay,

576
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 3: well I miss you, I miss your dick, I want

577
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 3: to I want to fuck you, I want to you know, like,

578
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 3: and then you use.

579
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: That to like entice and bring him in.

580
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 3: And I think that that's the number one thing that

581
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 3: we should really teach girls, like don't ever use your

582
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 3: body or like, don't ever try to entice a guy

583
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 3: to like you based on something sexual or physical. Another

584
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 3: thing that I remember from when I was I think

585
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 3: always instilling affirmations into not only girls, but just kids

586
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 3: period is another way because I always said that when

587
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 3: I was growing up, I didn't get all of the

588
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 3: you're so pretty, you're so cute, you're so this, you're

589
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 3: so that. So now when a guy is saying it

590
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 3: to me, it's like it's music to my ears.

591
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: But another thing to piggyback off of that is.

592
00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 3: Tell them what like be not be transparent about your

593
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 3: experiences and what guys are gonna say, what they're gonna do,

594
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 3: how you may feel, how they're gonna make you feel.

595
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 3: Because I always said this, if I was told by

596
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 3: my mom or my dad or my whoever, like all

597
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 3: the things that we know they're gonna say.

598
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: By the time they actually say it to the girl.

599
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 3: It's like, you know, she told me you was gonna

600
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 3: say that. She says, you know, my mom warned me.

601
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this sounds so familiar. But if nobody

602
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: ever said anything to her about this and she's hearing

603
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 3: it for the first time, it's like she's not prepared.

604
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 3: She's take She's like, oh wow, I really that made

605
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 3: me feel special, That made me feel good, That made

606
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 3: me feel like he liked me, you know, like whatever.

607
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 3: But if you're at home, like, listen, baby girl, they're

608
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 3: gonna tell you they love you. They're gonna tell you you're

609
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 3: the greatest thing in the world. They're gonna tell you whatever.

610
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 3: They can tell you to get in your pants, they're

611
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 3: gonna tell you. They might even guilt you. Oh if

612
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 3: you don't have sex with me and breaking up with you,

613
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 3: because that happened to me. A guy told me, if

614
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 3: you don't have sex with me, I'm breaking up with you.

615
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 3: And he was the cutest guy and I didn't want

616
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 3: him to break a money. So we plan to have

617
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 3: sex on Thursday. Okay, And we had sex on Thursday,

618
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 3: and the first time we had sex the condom pot

619
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 3: and I was so nervous because I was like, oh

620
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 3: my god, I cannot believe it, you know, like I

621
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 3: said this or whatever, and I'm young and I don't

622
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 3: have anybody to talk to about this whatever. And then

623
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 3: it's like you're talking to your friends who know absolutely right. Literally,

624
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 3: I was told that you cannot have that you cannot

625
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 3: get pregnant after your period. This is what I was

626
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 3: told at sixteen. I don't know who told me.

627
00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 1: I don't know who told me, but that's what information.

628
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 3: But nobody ever explained anything about reproduction sex ovulation, like

629
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 3: I had like one little sextope when I got my

630
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 3: period at twelve with my mom. She basically said something

631
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 3: like you know, she was talking about hygiene and this,

632
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 3: and then she's like, and don't think that you can't

633
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 3: get pregnant on the first time, because you can. And

634
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 3: I think that's the only thing that really stood out

635
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 3: to me in that conversation because I thought to myself.

636
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 1: Really, that was my plan.

637
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 3: I was just gonna do it once and then just

638
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 3: I was gonna do it once just to say I felt,

639
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 3: and then never do it again.

640
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 1: And but now you're telling me I could getregnant on

641
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 1: first Oh my god, damn so crazy.

642
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 3: When I lost my when I got when I got

643
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 3: my parents, I remember distinctly my mom telling me now

644
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 3: you can have babies and me being like whoa that was?

645
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: I was eleven. I'm like, right, that's a whole lot.

646
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 1: I'm a lot. Well, I started my period so early too,

647
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: like it's a whole lot. I never forgot that.

648
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 3: And then I think about my conversations with sex with her.

649
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 3: We didn't really have any of my dad. I do

650
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 3: remember specifically now thinking about it, like how it always

651
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 3: did stick with me because it was from.

652
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:09,959
Speaker 1: Him, and he's a man.

653
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, he said, you know, yeah, if you sleep, if

654
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 3: you sleep with too many guys, they're gonna they're all

655
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 3: gonna talk about you.

656
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And I think you're fast, dad fast.

657
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:27,359
Speaker 1: I know that triggered me. I was like what.

658
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:33,280
Speaker 3: But and also he also told me like, the sooner

659
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 3: you have sex, the less respect they'll have for you.

660
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,919
Speaker 1: Mm hm oh. And that's basically what she's saying too.

661
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 3: And how do you feel like he's kind of right

662
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 3: more times than not, that is the truth.

663
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: I've had sex with that. How did you use that.

664
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 3: You know, and I thought about that because I didn't

665
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,800
Speaker 3: really listen to him. But he wasn't there to affirm

666
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 3: it either. He said that one time, and right, that's

667
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. It wasn't there to affirm it, so

668
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 3: like affirming maybe it would have changed it for me.

669
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 3: There's a lot of dynamics in there. My dad just

670
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 3: really wasn't around, but like affirming that, it's so important.

671
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 3: I remembered it. But I also was like, well.

672
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: Right, what do you know?

673
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 2: Dad?

674
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? You know like so and I was. I was

675
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 1: always defined.

676
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 3: So be consistent for sure with these affirmations. If somebody says,

677
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 3: you know, I love you one time in your life

678
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 3: and never says it again, or you're gonna think they

679
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 3: love you no, Like if your mom tells you I

680
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 3: love you once and never says it again, you're gonna

681
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 3: grow up and be like she told me one time,

682
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 3: she never said it again.

683
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 1: At one time.

684
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 3: You remember that shit, yeah, but it's like it's not no, yeah,

685
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 3: to keep it.

686
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: Going to like make you feel like that energy is

687
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 1: alive and like that's.

688
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 3: What's all That one time almost is worse because it

689
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 3: makes you feel less than like she didn't. Yeah, you

690
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 3: only said it once. When this man comes into your life,

691
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,720
Speaker 3: a woman comes into your life and gives your attention

692
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 3: and tells you they love you. Yeah, suddenly you're gonna

693
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 3: do everything and anything to keep that energy because you're

694
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 3: you're you know, you're attached to it. Yeah, And they'll

695
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 3: tell you that in therapy, you know, Like there's when

696
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 3: I'm I'm obsessed with therapy. I love therapy so much.

697
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 3: And you know, over the couple of years that I

698
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 3: was in therapy, I've come to these regulations on my

699
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 3: epiphanies on my own, and I thought to myself one

700
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 3: of the things was, you know, I've always been in

701
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,919
Speaker 3: some like sort of crazy toxic situation with a guy who, uh,

702
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 3: we're like on and off, he's coming back, he's you know,

703
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 3: we're just it's just toxic as hell, and everybody's like,

704
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 3: why the hell are you staying with this person? You know,

705
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 3: like whatever, And I thought to myself, you know what,

706
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,399
Speaker 3: one day, I was like thinking so deeply because I'm

707
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 3: just like obsessed with that and know who, Like, I

708
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 3: think it's because he keeps coming back. And I thought

709
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 3: to myself, my own father didn't even come back, so

710
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,919
Speaker 3: if he didn't come back. But this guy, no matter

711
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 3: what happens, he comes scratching out the door.

712
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 1: Please. Sorry.

713
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 3: Maybe that makes me feel like at least he came back,

714
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 3: you know, because my grandmother lived in the same as

715
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 3: that place where my homes did life, and my father

716
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 3: never came back.

717
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: And knocked the door and was like, hey, was my kid?

718
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: What's up?

719
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 3: You know?

720
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: Like whatever. So if you're my boyfriend and you.

721
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 3: Know, I block you, I changed my phone number, I

722
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,359
Speaker 3: fake disappear in your ass whatever, And the next thing

723
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 3: I know, you're at my door knocking.

724
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:35,479
Speaker 1: I'm like, he really loves me, you know what I mean.

725
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 2: It's so crazy we're having this conversation because literally the

726
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 2: other night, I was like I just had this crazy

727
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 2: ass epiphany and it sounds a little crazy, but there

728
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 2: was like I felt like there was two parts of

729
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 2: myself confronting each other m hm. And I felt like

730
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 2: I went somewhere specific in like my childhood and felt

731
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 2: like like something I don't know, and I was like

732
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 2: trying to look around and see.

733
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: Where I was at.

734
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 2: And then there's like all these epiphanies about trauma, how

735
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 2: it plants itself, and I'm like, maybe, like I have

736
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 2: a lot of like I'm having sex subconsciously like to

737
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 2: empower because that gives me power in some sort of way.

738
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 2: And I was just like addressing all these things but

739
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 2: realizing like how bonds, trauma bonds work, and how you

740
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 2: will attached to something that feels familiar, and how that

741
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 2: like can perpetuate in adulthood and play out in like

742
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 2: romantic relationships and even just sech like sexual encounters or whatever.

743
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, it was really trippy and strange

744
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 2: and ne We're having this conversation which is firming this

745
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 2: really strange thing that happens to me, And I'm like,

746
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:43,279
Speaker 2: it's just, you know, sometimes our sexual behaviors having sex

747
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 2: too quickly, like like we can brush it off nonchalantly,

748
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 2: but there's a lot of times, so much there's so

749
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 2: much more deeper meaning to the reasons why we you know,

750
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 2: we do things right.

751
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 3: Just like I don't believe and when I say this,

752
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 3: I don't mean this or one hundred literally, but generally

753
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 3: I don't believe when girls be like, no, I just

754
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 3: won't have sex, and I'm like, you know, you just

755
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 3: don't think that they're that any other option is available

756
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 3: besides that so that's why you just settle for that,

757
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:18,240
Speaker 3: or you're like kind of it's like playing reverse psychology

758
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 3: in yourself where you're like you're trying to make yourself

759
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 3: believe that you just want sex because you know that

760
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 3: they just want sex, like they don't really want anything more.

761
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 3: So you're trying to convince yourself that that's all you're

762
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 3: in it for. But I promise you if you turned

763
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 3: around and said like, oh, I want to make you

764
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 3: my girl, like you know, like but you don't, or

765
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 3: even if for the women who are I'm saying like

766
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 3: now I still want to want to be with him,

767
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 3: and I'm like, that's fear. Now, I'm not saying that

768
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,760
Speaker 3: you would have want to be that particular person or whatever,

769
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 3: but some people.

770
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: Are always like I don't want to be in a relationship.

771
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that.

772
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 3: I don't want to I'm like, that is fear of everything,

773
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 3: you know, Like that's fear of it going sour.

774
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 1: That's feel like fear of you wasting your time.

775
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,319
Speaker 3: I'm again that spirit of getting hurt again, that's what

776
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 3: that is.

777
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: Believe that women are really like I just want to

778
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 1: have that.

779
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 2: I mean, like I have some a part of me

780
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,439
Speaker 2: is like, no, sometimes I want to fuck, like I bet,

781
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 2: but then a part of me is like I also

782
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 2: realize I want to have sex, like oh, he's cute,

783
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 2: let's do it. But I also realize, like I casually

784
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 2: have sex, and I have casual a lot like romantic

785
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 2: relationships because I approach it casually and I've always had

786
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 2: like people I've been probably fucking for fifteen years, but

787
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 2: we have casual friendships, and I'm like, well, to me,

788
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 2: in some ways it's healthy because I know there's love

789
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,360
Speaker 2: and respect, but also like, I also have to be

790
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 2: aware that there is a reason that I keep these

791
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 2: type of relationships but don't have like deeper relationships, and

792
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 2: like the ones that I do have are super toxic,

793
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,919
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what what even in that manner? Why

794
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 2: is sex so super casual for me?

795
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,240
Speaker 1: Because that seems or sounds like.

796
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 3: You you just lowered your expectation all the way down

797
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 3: so that you're not.

798
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:08,720
Speaker 1: Disappointed at all, you know, like and it's like, Okay, well,

799
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: I don't care, right, Like, I just want to have sex.

800
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,760
Speaker 3: There's no problem with liking sex, you know, like everybody,

801
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 3: I hope I think everybody likes sex.

802
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: I think, but it's always for a reason.

803
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I mean I think, like I think

804
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:30,720
Speaker 3: you're not just oh god, you're like you're reaffirming my celibacy.

805
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 3: You know, I'm right here thinking like, but I just

806
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 3: feel like you're right, Like you don't just want to

807
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 3: have sex. It's always like, Okay, yeah, maybe you do

808
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 3: because subconsciously, yeah, there's a power flip for you because

809
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 3: you think, oh, if I have sex, he's gonna call

810
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 3: me next week.

811
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 1: Or yeah, there's obviously we're humans and we get horny.

812
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: I think it's also escapism.

813
00:41:56,239 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 3: Escapism, you know, it's just yeah, but yeah, I'm definitely

814
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 3: gonna tell my daughter.

815
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: Like you gotta, I would say.

816
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 3: And this is I fear like I have a lot

817
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 3: of friends who have teenage daughters, and.

818
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: I don't. I think I'm so attached.

819
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 3: I think I'm still in my teenage years in my

820
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:25,839
Speaker 3: soul somewhere, like I just kind of feel so regretful

821
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 3: and remorseful that I did it wrong, but then also.

822
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: Not embarrassed or shamed, but more.

823
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 3: Just kind of upset that I was left to navigate

824
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 3: through that on my own and so now I'm just

825
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 3: like stuck in it. So much because I'm like, oh

826
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 3: my god, all the things that I did when I

827
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 3: was that age. I was like, I probably would have

828
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 3: not had all those experiences if I didn't feel so

829
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 3: like empty or you know, ugly or skinny or but

830
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 3: unfortunately some of those things are those are beyond your control. Yeah, Like,

831
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:10,479
Speaker 3: as a teenager, we don't get. We don't ask. Even

832
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:12,279
Speaker 3: as as a baby, we don't we.

833
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: Ya know what I mean. I guess we're given what

834
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 1: we're given.

835
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 3: But like we so we have to we left our

836
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 3: own device. You need to write a book for teenagers.

837
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, you.

838
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 3: Do, because like because of your experiences, because like I think.

839
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 1: That was such a crucial age for me too. Yeah,

840
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 1: I'm super like tune with what was going on. It

841
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 1: was such a.

842
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 3: Crucial age for me, Like and it definitely navigated my

843
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 3: way through sex all my life.

844
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 1: Now right now I'm on learning things and.

845
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 3: Like, you know, realizing you know, some of the reasons

846
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 3: I have sex, some of the.

847
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 1: People that the people like you choose to have sex with,

848
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 1: versus who I.

849
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 2: Don't choose to have sex with, Like even why like

850
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 2: how I feel right after or like you know, like

851
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 2: like wait, yeah, is that fucking necessary.

852
00:43:58,160 --> 00:43:59,759
Speaker 1: And then it's like, well, then why did you do that?

853
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 1: You know, like w like what are the motivating reasons?

854
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 3: Like you know, like but not just even sex to

855
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 3: take it a step further, just even what we uh

856
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 3: deal with like in relationships with guys or this or that.

857
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 3: So I remember being with guys who would be like.

858
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 1: Damn, it just went out of my head.

859
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 3: Like they'll say things to make you jealous of other girls,

860
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 3: or you know, like or they're make you feel like

861
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 3: you're less than somebody else, or you know, they're trying

862
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 3: to like manipulate you into doing what they want, and oh,

863
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 3: if you don't do it, somebody else will type shit

864
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,880
Speaker 3: and then you're like and then you rush to do

865
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 3: it because you don't want to you know, like miss

866
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,959
Speaker 3: your opportunity and kind of like get overlooked or whatever,

867
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 3: or just settling period, like settling for certain things that

868
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:58,839
Speaker 3: is like oh, well I got a girlfriend, but you know,

869
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 3: and and then where it should be alright, well you're taken,

870
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 3: leave me the fuck along, right then somehow some way

871
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 3: becomes you special. Yeah, like now, uh, well, you know,

872
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,919
Speaker 3: people move forward even though they know that there's they're

873
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 3: just telling you they're just putting it out on the

874
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 3: table so that you could see, like what you're willing

875
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,320
Speaker 3: to settle for, what you're willing to mend your morals

876
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 3: and ethics and self respect and self esteem, you know.

877
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: And it's just it's really hard.

878
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 3: Being a woman because a lot of us don't even

879
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 3: wanna admit the things that we feel and why we

880
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 3: do what we do. No girl wants to admit that

881
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 3: they're jealous. Nobody wants to say, oh, it's jealous, I

882
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 3: was jealous of her. No girl wants to say like, oh,

883
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 3: I had a baby cause I thought that was gonna

884
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 3: keep him. Nobody's not like I literally have said that online,

885
00:45:55,040 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 3: like I was having a baby because I wanna his baby,

886
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 3: Like I wanted his baby, or I wanted or she

887
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 3: just had a baby, or you know, like or.

888
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 1: I wanted to be when forever you're like whatever.

889
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 3: Nobody wants to admit that the reason that they had

890
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 3: in their mind for why they got pregnant, had a baby,

891
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:23,359
Speaker 3: had an abortion, whatever the case is. They just they're embarrassed,

892
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 3: like because they kind of know they look back and

893
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 3: they see how naive it might have been or how

894
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 3: like just uh yeah, yeah, yeah, the desperate.

895
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, desperate is the right word. Yeah, And I'm like,

896
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: you know, so, I think a lot of.

897
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 3: People don't want to admit the truth I think about

898
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 3: because our platform mean to me, obviously, we talk about

899
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 3: sex a lot. We always empower women to like do

900
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 3: what they want, do what they feel, and like, you

901
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 3: know that you just because you're a mother. It's not

902
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,840
Speaker 3: like you stop fucking. It's not like you don't have

903
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,319
Speaker 3: casual sex. It's not like you make all the best

904
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 3: choices in the world. Yeah, But I also think like

905
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 3: there is a line yeah that like like you really

906
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 3: have some genuine power. Like I just feel like I've

907
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:14,839
Speaker 3: empowering people to have sex with however they want. But

908
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,439
Speaker 3: also like what do you feel like after that? Yeah,

909
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 3: that we don't talk about you know what I mean.

910
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 3: It's like, are you going to really feel good or

911
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:27,760
Speaker 3: are you going to feel even the least bit uh,

912
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 3: disappointed in yourself?

913
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:32,719
Speaker 1: Uncomfortable with the situation? Are you why do you feel

914
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: that way? Why don't feel shame? Like is it? Are

915
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: you going to care if he feel or not? Right?

916
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 3: Right? You know?

917
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 1: Definitely.

918
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,439
Speaker 2: I mean I think that the truth of the matter

919
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 2: is is like we're very transparent and we talk about

920
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:48,839
Speaker 2: our experiences. But like I've probably had this epiphany more

921
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 2: than one time, you know, like I realize, you know,

922
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 2: like this is I'm a human so and we've I've

923
00:47:56,040 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 2: been fucking since I'm like fourteen, you know, that's a

924
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 2: long time. And I've been in like I've been having

925
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 2: relationships cowsual relationships in a in a manner this m

926
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 2: for sixteen seventeen years. The truth of the matter is,

927
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 2: there's work that has to be done. I realize I'm

928
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,839
Speaker 2: a work in progress. I realize all behaviors take time

929
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 2: to undo. But I'm I'm I'm just willing to win it.

930
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 2: Like when the spirit needs to deliver a message like oh, bitch,

931
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 2: mmmm remember this?

932
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like what you said because it reminded me

933
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 3: of what I want to say before about it's gonna

934
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 3: be hard for some women to ignore that text from

935
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 3: that guy who only calolls them for sex, or who

936
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 3: only comes in the night, or who only you know,

937
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 3: like whatever. It took a while before I was able

938
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 3: to look at the phone and not reply ignore be

939
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 3: like no, I know he only wants to have sex.

940
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 3: I know he only wants to he only comes over

941
00:48:57,960 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 3: here in the night. Oh, he doesn't take me out.

942
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:01,399
Speaker 3: He just me to cook for him. He just wants

943
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 3: me to cook for him, him sucking vick. And then

944
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 3: he leaves tomorrow like he doesn't want it. He doesn't

945
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 3: acknowledge me. He you know all of these things, but

946
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 3: it takes a lot for you to that first step.

947
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,399
Speaker 1: To be like no, I'm not doing this no more.

948
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 3: But you have to do it, and it becomes easy.

949
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 3: You know. The way I block people, I just I

950
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 3: just mute them, or I delete their phone number. And

951
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 3: I always tell people like because like I'll even tell Jamila,

952
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 3: like or I'll tell my friend my homeboy.

953
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 1: He's always like debated, like should I respond?

954
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 3: Just delete the number out of your phone so you

955
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 3: can't respond, and like, I know it sounds crazy, but

956
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 3: it's like sometimes you have to take drastics to make

957
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 3: and so you block it and then delete it so

958
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 3: that you don't even know you block it.

959
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 1: And yes, yeah, oh my god, because sometimes it has

960
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 1: to be that or like I can't do it. I

961
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 1: won't do it. I know myself, you know, And like

962
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: the end is I can't do it.

963
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 3: If I won't block and delete, that lets me know

964
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 3: how fucking toxic it is, yeah.

965
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 1: You know, because why miss I'm not missing it here.

966
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 3: Because like crap, you just like like we were at

967
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 3: we were at Dumbo and Dumbo house.

968
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 1: He was showing and he was looking. He was like

969
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 1: should I should I respond?

970
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 3: She's like, I know he ain't ship And I went

971
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 3: to go delete the phone number, like I just took

972
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 3: his phone because you And I was like, what is it?

973
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 3: Do you do you like this person? Do you want

974
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 3: this person? Is this person going to potentially fun up

975
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 3: when you have going that's good? Like, don't get me wrong,

976
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 3: I'm not up all the time like those are.

977
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 1: This is a tip, right, I'm the like.

978
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 3: Okay, lie j, I'm like you have to I don't

979
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 3: even remember your phone number.

980
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,280
Speaker 1: I asked myself the hard questions.

981
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 3: I'd be like, what are you losing if you don't

982
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 3: deal with this person anymore?

983
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 1: What get subtracted from your life? Like if this.

984
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 3: Person is so great, then you can less all the

985
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,799
Speaker 3: things that you're gonna lose. And if this person is

986
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 3: not so great, you're gonna be stock. You're gonna be

987
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 3: like uh, because there's nothing that they're really you know,

988
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 3: there's nothing that they're really contributing to the situation. So

989
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 3: I asked myself those questions, especially because a lot of

990
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 3: the psalms is.

991
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 1: Ego, you don't want to let go.

992
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 3: For you don't want him to go with someone else,

993
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 3: you don't want him to give ship the same you know. Yeah,

994
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 3: a lot of it is it has to do with

995
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 3: you're not loving on yourself enough. Yeah, I want Like

996
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about like the list I would make if

997
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 3: I were to write, what am I missing out on

998
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,280
Speaker 3: my occasional attention because I'm not even getting.

999
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 1: Your attention all the time.

1000
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 3: It's occasional, occasional good dick, So like, really, I need

1001
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 3: to take more care and love for myself so that

1002
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 3: these occasional situations don't matter.

1003
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 2: Because they don't really because they don't really matter. They

1004
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 2: don't And like you said, like you can fuck for

1005
00:51:53,880 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 2: only some for only you know, for only so many years.

1006
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:04,879
Speaker 2: Cultural sex can be overrated because I'm just gonna say,

1007
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:06,439
Speaker 2: there's not that much of a d out there.

1008
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and not for nothing. We all know that sex

1009
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:14,839
Speaker 3: definitely feels better when there's some feelings involved, right, So

1010
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, we do it, but then does it

1011
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 3: really scratch that itch? Because it's not the best that

1012
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 3: it could be because you're not really comfortable with this person.

1013
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 3: You don't really know this person. Like it's not the

1014
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 3: it's not even it's like a level it's always gonna

1015
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 3: be like a level five for real, because it can't

1016
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 3: be a tend without any feeling, you know, like I mean,

1017
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 3: could it be great? And you're like, whoa, you know,

1018
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 3: but then that feeling afterwards is like, we don't want

1019
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 3: that for myself. You know, yeah, where he's gonna, where

1020
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 3: he's about to go. You have casual sex and it's bomb.

1021
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,839
Speaker 3: Of course you want him to call him. You don't

1022
00:52:58,880 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 3: just be like all right, well that was fun?

1023
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 1: Are you there? And then you're like, damn, I should

1024
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 1: have waited. Yep, howd I got to know you better?

1025
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 1: How you got to know me better?

1026
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 3: We could have engaged and that dabbled in that, four

1027
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 3: played in that, and then I could.

1028
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 2: Have found that and actually my part too, you know,

1029
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,800
Speaker 2: the flirt, the chase, the possibility.

1030
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 3: We got to get these guys back to courting us. Okay,

1031
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 3: this is how you do it, you know, I know

1032
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 3: you do a cutty challenge and so like I think

1033
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 3: I want can you give our listeners, and that's a challenge.

1034
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,440
Speaker 1: Like I think I should have asked this before, but

1035
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 1: I was. I was.

1036
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 3: I was like, because you did a Cuddy challenge, like

1037
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 3: trying to get someone to give you at least one.

1038
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 1: Hundred dollars or something. Yeah, that was an old one.

1039
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 3: It was ask the guy that you're having sex with

1040
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:51,760
Speaker 3: four one hundred dollars and see what he says, whether

1041
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:54,920
Speaker 3: it's for the phone bill or you know whatever, and.

1042
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 1: See what his response is. And you were supposed to

1043
00:53:57,040 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 1: post it. This was so long ago. I'm sure you've

1044
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 1: got a lot of interesting responses. Yeah, oh my god,

1045
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 1: it's over. Yeah too, Yeah, yeah, yeah, some yeah.

1046
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 3: Like I said, some people were like, oh my god,

1047
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 3: I could never do that. And some people were like, hey,

1048
00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 3: I'm a hundred dollars picture. Some people were like I'm

1049
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:16,320
Speaker 3: five hundred dollars. But sure. You know, like if some

1050
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,240
Speaker 3: people are like I couldn't ask for only one hundred dollars,

1051
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 3: that's so little, and I'm like, okay, well ask.

1052
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 1: For something bigger, something that's worth five hundred dollars. I

1053
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,879
Speaker 1: got twenty five. And so I think there's one thing

1054
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 1: that I do want to say.

1055
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,840
Speaker 3: As a tip for people when it comes to starting

1056
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 3: to ask for stuff, instead of caring a lot about

1057
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:41,320
Speaker 3: a dollar amount, just attach it to something like, say

1058
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 3: what it is that you need, Like, let's say you're

1059
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 3: about to start a podcast.

1060
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 1: You need a microphone?

1061
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 3: Like, baby, I'm about to start this podcast. I need

1062
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 3: a microphone. Could you help me get it? Can you

1063
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 3: get it for me? And then he's gonna say like, oh,

1064
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 3: how much is that also one hundred.

1065
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 1: And twenty nine dollars?

1066
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 3: You know, like yeah, and he's like, okay, cool, you know,

1067
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:58,160
Speaker 3: attach it to something.

1068
00:54:58,160 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 1: Oh, babe, I just got.

1069
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 3: A third notice for this parking ticket. You know it

1070
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:05,399
Speaker 3: keeps on going up enough. I don't have the money.

1071
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:06,840
Speaker 3: Can you pay this ticket for me?

1072
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 1: Can you?

1073
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,239
Speaker 3: Oh my tire blew out? My tires are bold? Can

1074
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 3: you get me a new pair of tires?

1075
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 1: Can be specific? Yeah, Now for some people.

1076
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 3: No, I'm saying that as a tip for people who

1077
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 3: have difficulty asking and they want to know, like how

1078
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 3: do I o?

1079
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,080
Speaker 1: And this is what? Yeah?

1080
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 3: Okay, So because the dollar amount could be intimidating because

1081
00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 3: people are like, for what what is it for?

1082
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:33,280
Speaker 1: What do I need? Three hundred?

1083
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 3: What do you need? Three hundred dollars for? What do

1084
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 3: you need one hundred dollars for? What do you mean

1085
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 3: a thousand dollars for? So if you just state what

1086
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 3: it is, because there's some people who have a specific

1087
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 3: number associated with.

1088
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 1: Exactly, you know.

1089
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 3: Because even if he doesn't give you the cash for

1090
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 3: if he says which one does it?

1091
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,839
Speaker 1: Send me to Amazon link or you know, he's still

1092
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 1: it is a good start.

1093
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,880
Speaker 3: I always say, either give me money or save me money,

1094
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 3: you know. So that's what let me think of a

1095
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:02,800
Speaker 3: Cundy challenge. We need, we need a mic should this

1096
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,720
Speaker 3: is our challenge?

1097
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 1: I was actually another Yeah, And that's the thing.

1098
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:14,480
Speaker 3: See, and I tell people that it does it have

1099
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 3: to be something crazy big, like the rent or whatever,

1100
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 3: because you gotta be careful with that rent thing rent

1101
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 3: the niggas that they live. Yes, that ownership and that

1102
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 3: control that comes along with him thinking like oh I

1103
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 3: paid this ship, I'm about to be over here all

1104
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,840
Speaker 3: the time, or you gotta be careful with that.

1105
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:36,839
Speaker 1: Yeah. So well one of you guys got to get

1106
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 1: another mic. Okay, that's y'all who's gonna get it?

1107
00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1108
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:48,560
Speaker 1: So yeah, that.

1109
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 3: That's a good start because it's not that expensive, you know,

1110
00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:55,759
Speaker 3: And for every for everybody else out there, instead of

1111
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 3: one hundred dollars, try to attach it to something like

1112
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:03,839
Speaker 3: try something and you everybody knows their die, they know

1113
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:05,839
Speaker 3: what they can afford, they know what they do for work,

1114
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 3: they know, you know, like they know what they spend

1115
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:11,400
Speaker 3: money on. So that's I'm gonna leave that up to

1116
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 3: you guys, because somebody could turn around and be like

1117
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 3: I asked him for one girl, she did a cutting

1118
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 3: call the other day. She said that she asked for

1119
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 3: God to guarantee done, and I was like, and he said, okay,

1120
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 3: you know so yeah. So it was like, you could

1121
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 3: ask to get your teeth done, you cauld ask to

1122
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:28,920
Speaker 3: get breakfast, you could ask to get in visiline, you

1123
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 3: could ask it or like the other day, I said

1124
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 3: to my dude, I want to get laser hair removal.

1125
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 3: And then he was like, uh, he was kind of stumped.

1126
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 3: He was like what Like I was like, yeah, so

1127
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 3: that he's just like asking a billion questions and then

1128
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:57,440
Speaker 3: I'm just like, akay, when are we gonna get to

1129
00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 3: how much does it cost?

1130
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:00,240
Speaker 4: You know?

1131
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 1: And he kind of threw me off.

1132
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 3: So I wound up never actually being able to finish

1133
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 3: the conversation.

1134
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,920
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna go back to it. It's pretty confortable now.

1135
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, like they have a like move I need, I need,

1136
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:19,919
Speaker 3: you know, that's yeah, like you can even you can

1137
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,560
Speaker 3: even things like that.

1138
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:26,440
Speaker 1: It's like, baby, I'm tired of shaving and getting ingrooms for.

1139
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 3: Your ass, Like you need to be paying. You need

1140
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 3: to pay with my legs. And I think that's what you.

1141
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 1: Need to do, you know or whoever.

1142
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 3: Like, but like I said, when you already have sex

1143
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 3: with somebody, it's so much easier.

1144
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,120
Speaker 1: You can say whatever.

1145
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 3: I know, it seems like you can't, but you already

1146
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:44,720
Speaker 3: have something. Yeah, okay, well I mean that's the case

1147
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 3: right here, right Like I feel like once you already

1148
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 3: had get you just feel like what you already have

1149
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 3: sex with somebody. If they turn around and say no,

1150
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 3: then that's an indication of what they what's going on exactly.

1151
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:00,480
Speaker 3: And like I said, just because they say no to

1152
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean that you but it's like all about

1153
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 3: their delivery something else.

1154
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 1: And then and they'll tell you that and you know,

1155
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 1: let's be honest, I feel much.

1156
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 2: Better in any type of exchange that if I'm like

1157
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:20,919
Speaker 2: something is getting done for me, I'll feel better having sex.

1158
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 2: I will even if you had somebody who was like,

1159
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,880
Speaker 2: you're so nice, you think I'm so thankful for you.

1160
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 1: This is actually, this is waking out just because even.

1161
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 2: If you're coming over the law and everything, you're making

1162
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 2: my life easier.

1163
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 1: It makes sex more enjoyable. It's true because you don't

1164
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 1: feel so used. Yeah, I feel like you're investing in this. Yeah,

1165
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 1: like you feel like they're giving. They're giving to right,

1166
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:51,680
Speaker 1: sort of, hopefully I'm not having sex with people that

1167
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:55,680
Speaker 1: I feel like you are using me. Right. I think

1168
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 1: it's like you kind.

1169
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 2: Of well because when it just becomes just that and

1170
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 2: then you're like, do you even know?

1171
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1172
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 3: I always says that there's that. I always say like,

1173
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 3: it's not. Sometimes it's not until like the ninety ninth

1174
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 3: orgasm that you're like, hey, uh, you haven't going out

1175
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 3: to eat? Let pretty you hang out or and do

1176
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 3: you realize that there's so many times that you deal

1177
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 3: with somebody you're like, yo, this month doesn't know anything

1178
01:00:23,960 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 3: about me. He doesn't know any favorite color is. He

1179
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,040
Speaker 3: doesn't know that I don't eat stramp. He doesn't know that.

1180
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 1: And it also like I don't really like you in

1181
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 1: the real world.

1182
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 3: Actually actually stopped talking. She actually, well, I'm so grateful

1183
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 3: that you came.

1184
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having much.

1185
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 3: And you guys, if you guys accept Cutty's challenge, please

1186
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 3: put us all on the group.

1187
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 1: Let us know what happened. And that's a screenshot like

1188
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:53,280
Speaker 1: a little yeah.

1189
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:57,480
Speaker 3: We need a little text change whatever or I'm sorry whatever, yeah,

1190
01:00:57,680 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 3: tag us I want.

1191
01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:00,680
Speaker 1: To see and we'll keep you updated on our microphone.

1192
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 1: You're gonna be like brought to you by Caddy Show, Like, babe,

1193
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 1: I need a new microphone. Can you help me? Committed

1194
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 1: my grandmother.

1195
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:16,520
Speaker 3: I did an old video of my grandmother saying I'm like, so,

1196
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 3: how do you ask the guy for money? She's like,

1197
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 3: just say you need help? And I'm like you she

1198
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 3: was like, I need help. I need help, I need help.

1199
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:25,680
Speaker 1: I need help.

1200
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, I don't have a problem with acting

1201
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 3: like I'm helpless because I know I'm not.

1202
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:31,320
Speaker 1: So I really don't care.

1203
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:35,760
Speaker 3: You know. It's like I'm gonna act like Damsel on distress.

1204
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 3: I'm gonna act helpless, I'm gonna act broke.

1205
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 1: I don't care.

1206
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 3: Oh oh my god. It's so funny because I act

1207
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 3: like the Brokens bitch my dude ever met in life.

1208
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:51,560
Speaker 3: And then even when he doesn't, he'd be like, even

1209
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,160
Speaker 3: if he doesn't give it to me and it still

1210
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 3: gets done or it still gets paid for, he doesn't

1211
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:57,040
Speaker 3: even really question.

1212
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 1: He just kind of knows, like I don't know if

1213
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 1: you had the money for that ship, you know. Like

1214
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 1: I'm sitting up there, I'll say something like.

1215
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,040
Speaker 3: Recently, I think he's been trying to make me pay

1216
01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 3: for more stuff, like as a freaking he's gonna say.

1217
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:14,880
Speaker 3: The other day, I was like, Oh, I want to

1218
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,200
Speaker 3: go to this restaurant, but this restaurant only except cash.

1219
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:19,960
Speaker 3: So like this is running joke, like there's certain restaurants

1220
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 3: in New York, like the Boil places that only except cash.

1221
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 1: You know, you're freaking doing some goddamn money la or whatever.

1222
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 3: But it's this joke that if you go there, you

1223
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 3: have money today, Like because you have to use cash,

1224
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:35,080
Speaker 3: you can't put it on the credit card. So every

1225
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 3: single time you like hit up your front like hey,

1226
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 3: you want to go to the boy, You're like, oh,

1227
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 3: you want money. So I finally introduced him to it

1228
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 3: or whatever, and the other day I'm like, oh, the

1229
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 3: boy was like who got money.

1230
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 1: He's like, you got money? He was like, oh, you

1231
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:49,360
Speaker 1: got money? And I'm like, come on, I want to go,

1232
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:53,720
Speaker 1: and he's like you got money. I'm like, come on,

1233
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,280
Speaker 1: ye have money exactly.

1234
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Like I'm usually acting broke, but he's like

1235
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:04,960
Speaker 3: trying to switch it on me a little bit. But

1236
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 3: I mean he spent so much money that it was

1237
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:10,720
Speaker 3: like whatever, I don't care. But I definitely I don't care.

1238
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 3: I'll act like the broken girl because if you leave

1239
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 3: me or when you leave.

1240
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:19,560
Speaker 1: Me, life's gonna go on. And I'm not so I don't.

1241
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:22,640
Speaker 3: Care what you think and who's really And I also

1242
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 3: say to people like, what guy is really turning around

1243
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 3: running around telling everybody's like, yo, she's so fucking broke,

1244
01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 3: has to pay a phone bill?

1245
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 1: What guy's doing that? Well, guys, guy's gonna be like,

1246
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:33,440
Speaker 1: well did you pay it?

1247
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:33,720
Speaker 2: Well?

1248
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:35,280
Speaker 1: No, I think guys.

1249
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:39,360
Speaker 2: Guys will like there's some black ass guys out there,

1250
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,400
Speaker 2: But I don't who are you telling that? I don't know.

1251
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 1: I don't even care exactly that other friends make them

1252
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 1: look like they're bawling because they helped the bitch out.

1253
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:48,440
Speaker 2: With their phone right right, which just makes you look

1254
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:55,120
Speaker 2: weak so basically we got to think rich, a poor, helpless.

1255
01:03:56,680 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 1: Got it. Oh my god, so much. They thank you

1256
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:02,840
Speaker 1: so much. Tell our listeners where they can find you.

1257
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 3: I'm on Instagram and Twitter at Passport Underscore, Cutty c

1258
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 3: U T T Y. I'm just now starting to do

1259
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 3: like a new series on YouTube that I'm really liking.

1260
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 1: Uh that's Passport Cutting No Underscore.

1261
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:22,040
Speaker 3: And my book is The m Minus for Money on Amazon, Audible, iTunes,

1262
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:25,360
Speaker 3: Barnes and Noble. But I like the Audible the best

1263
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:29,000
Speaker 3: because I narrate it. But then people are like, well,

1264
01:04:29,040 --> 01:04:30,960
Speaker 3: I like the Audible because you narrate it, but then

1265
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 3: I need the book so I can highlight and take

1266
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 3: a lot of people.

1267
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:37,800
Speaker 2: I'm about to do both, and I have to highlight

1268
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 2: and take notes. And you can find it on our

1269
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 2: on our website, on.

1270
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:41,720
Speaker 3: Our uh.

1271
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 1: No, you'll be on our book club.

1272
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:49,440
Speaker 3: You all you know where to find us at Good

1273
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 3: Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices make sure you join our newsletter,

1274
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:55,240
Speaker 3: Good Momsbad Choices dot com. And if you want to

1275
01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:58,919
Speaker 3: watch this episode and plus probably like seven or eight

1276
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:01,880
Speaker 3: other episodes that are not on iTunes or any of

1277
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:05,040
Speaker 3: the other platforms, you're like secret episodes.

1278
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,600
Speaker 1: And you must join our Patreon.

1279
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:10,480
Speaker 4: You have to actually put this in your space bar

1280
01:05:10,560 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 4: because we are considered explicit and you can't search us

1281
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:17,840
Speaker 4: on Patreon, So it's Patreon dot com backslash Good Moms,

1282
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:19,040
Speaker 4: Bad Choices.

1283
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 3: Have a great week, you guys, set those challenges up

1284
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:29,200
Speaker 3: and sun receipts bye bye bye.

1285
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 2: You can't get enough of Good Moms and you want

1286
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:41,760
Speaker 2: even more content? All right, okay, can't get enough of

1287
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:44,440
Speaker 2: Good Moms? Do you want more episodes on the side

1288
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 2: exclusive drops only go to patreon dot com backslash Good

1289
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 2: Moms Bad Choices. That's right, you can't even search us

1290
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:59,800
Speaker 2: because we're highly exclusive, explicit r rated, So Patreon dot

1291
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:04,040
Speaker 2: com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices. Here's a little clip

1292
01:06:04,120 --> 01:06:10,200
Speaker 2: of an exclusive Patreon episode. Erica has discovered she's an

1293
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:14,920
Speaker 2: amazing dom so if you need any dom classes fed Wait, what.

1294
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,120
Speaker 1: Is it when you it's financial?

1295
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:24,480
Speaker 2: Oh finna dom, yeah, fin doom. It's findom like fine

1296
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:29,240
Speaker 2: financial fun. So she's been in our dms getting slaves.

1297
01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:33,640
Speaker 2: So I'm honestly I'm taking notes because I will be

1298
01:06:33,920 --> 01:06:36,080
Speaker 2: a dominatrix, especially online.

1299
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:36,680
Speaker 1: That would be cool.

1300
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 3: I think I need to go look, you know, you

1301
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 3: know chocolate dommas. I saw her, I think I need

1302
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:43,720
Speaker 3: to go take some of her classes. I saw your DMS.

1303
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:45,480
Speaker 1: You don't need to take any classes. You think I'm good.

1304
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:48,320
Speaker 1: We're really good, you know what. I So this is

1305
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:48,800
Speaker 1: what happened.

1306
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:51,240
Speaker 3: So yesterday this guy slid into our d MS and

1307
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 3: was like, I want you. I want to be your slave.

1308
01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:56,200
Speaker 3: I'm looking for a mistress. And I said, I ignored

1309
01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:59,120
Speaker 3: it and I want you were unavailable. I'm really glad

1310
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:00,400
Speaker 3: that I took the reins of I'm.

1311
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:03,400
Speaker 1: Really really I was available. I just didn't have anything

1312
01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:05,000
Speaker 1: to say to that. I saw. I saw it.

1313
01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:08,600
Speaker 3: I'm glad you didn't, because I've really tapped into this

1314
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:11,000
Speaker 3: secret talent I didn't know I had. His name was

1315
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,400
Speaker 3: like Weggie Slave or something like that, and he'd loved

1316
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:15,800
Speaker 3: to share pictures of himself giving himself wedgies. I said

1317
01:07:16,280 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 3: I don't want those, and so then he sent me

1318
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:20,880
Speaker 3: some other images of himself.

1319
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:26,320
Speaker 1: I googled words, oh that's what you did. Was wow.

1320
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to make sure that