WEBVTT - Co-Parenting Forever feat. Jess Hilarious 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.520 Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife, 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:06.360 and she couldn't. She cleaned and cared for her children 0:00:06.400 --> 0:00:08.320 and the man of the house, and of course she 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:12.240 didn't talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature. 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.600 She was a good woman who always made good choices. 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:18.759 That we're good mom's bad choices. 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:21.520 Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:22.480 their bad choices and. 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:24.000 Found out they were so bad after all. 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:26.600 We're experts, overshares and your new besties. 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.320 Sit back and enjoy the ride. I can do it. 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:35.479 Welcome back to good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:39.400 I'm Meila, and it's hop day, bitches. Welcome back. 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:42.640 It's Wednesday if you're listening to this, the day that 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:43.400 episode comes out. 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:45.120 If you're not listening to the day it comes out, 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:46.599 what the fuck are you doing on Wednesday? 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:52.560 And they miss us? How are you? I'm pretty good. 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:53.400 I'm pretty good. 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:57.240 I'm just, you know, living my best hoocy housewife life 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:01.240 at home. Yesterday I took Orlando to my classy gym 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:02.960 because you've been asking him to go for me for 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:04.679 a year, to show me the machines. He hasn't gone 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:09.800 and we went to a cycle class and it was like, 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:11.360 you know, it's my gym's and we hoo. It's like 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.399 super gay and it was a guy like just like, 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:17.080 I mean in Orlando where and they're like, oh yeah, 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:17.959 I almost died. 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:19.319 But it was really fun. 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:21.319 So and I was like, this is the most marriage 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:23.680 shit I've ever done, going to a fucking cycle class 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:25.880 and weo with my man. But it was fun. So 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.120 just just been chilling. And honestly, I've been going on 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.039 a lot. He's been working late and then I'd be like, 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:33.640 are you sleeping, I'm gonna go out, and I'm like, 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:35.600 is he gonna leave me? Because I'm like, I'm really 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:39.000 outside because he's going to work, But he seems fun. 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:42.160 I love that. Love that for you guys. It's been good. 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:45.640 I'm good. I know you didn't ask, but I'm good. 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:50.680 Oh yeah, I was thinking I'm great. I'm great. I'm excited. 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:52.400 We are about to leave to Jamaica, so I'm looking forward 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:52.680 to that. 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.240 And I real's been on spring break, so that's been horrible, 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:56.760 but you know, we're surviving. 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:01.760 Not horrible, it is, but I am excited because we 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:04.720 have a special guest today. We have a very special guest, 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:06.760 and I'm excited because. 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:08.880 We've like almost met her one time, but then we 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:12.360 didn't get to meet her, and she has been someone 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:14.200 that y'all have asked to have on the show for 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:14.720 a minute. 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:17.160 And so guess what the bitch is here, y'all. 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:21.480 I'm so happy to welcome to the show a stand 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:30.600 up comedian, author, bad motherfucker, good mom, just hilarious hey, 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:32.440 and co host of the Breakfast Club of course. 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.360 Yes, but yes, I'm all the other things too, you know, 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:37.160 the mom, the bad bitch, all that souff. 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:40.640 Thank y'all, Hey girl, how a y'all doing. I'm happy 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:42.919 I finally made it here. I know, welcome to la. 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:44.840 How do you like it here? 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:48.320 No? Not really, but you know, I used to live here. 0:02:48.800 --> 0:02:53.920 And if it's anything that I didn't take advantage of 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:56.520 when I was living here before, it's healthy eating because 0:02:56.600 --> 0:02:58.880 when I lived here, like I don't know if it 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:02.080 was what made six years ago, I was trying to 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:05.040 find a turkey wing, the first yams, colar greens, all 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:07.880 of that, like mac and cheese, but I kept running 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:13.079 into like shit called hummus and not shit called hommy. Yes, 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:16.480 fresh fresh squeeze juices and shit, you know, but I 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.519 die for it now like I needed. I didn't realize 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:22.080 that I would appreciate it now in my thirties because 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:24.480 maybe everything start hitting you crazy. 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:28.800 Yeah, your your digestive system changes. 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:30.880 In your thirties. Like yeah, I'm like, oh, so I 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:33.560 can't just see whatever I want exactly, and you can't 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:35.960 smoke out of whatever you want either, because I was 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:38.440 smoking backwoods for a long time and then at thirty 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:40.920 one started messing with my skin. So then I saw 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:43.160 my dermatologists and she was like, I'm not gonna tell you. 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:45.360 Don't smoke weed, just smoke cleaner. I was like, okay, 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:47.520 so wait, what was that. It's been white paper, So so. 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:50.080 You're telling me the backwards that I've been smoking every episode. 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:52.720 It don't mess with your it, don't mess with your skin. 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:56.560 Obvious closer. Oh damn, it's not bad. To hell, it's 0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:58.640 not bad. Yeah, but that's what it is. It was 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:01.760 the dairy for me because I didn't realize how thick 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:05.640 and just how disgusting dairy will have you feeling like, girl, 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:08.800 you got the extra thick spit, and then you know 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:11.360 it comes through your skin. The white heads, the black 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:13.560 kids all at No, I can't. 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:15.800 So basically you're telling me I need to just lay 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:16.839 back on the backwards and. 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:20.600 The raw papers. Have you got any whiskers in your thirties? 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:23.880 Do you struggle with this? No, I've had a mustache. 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.720 You just got in your thirties. I'm thirty four. 0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:30.960 You're not even two feet in yet, so I'm full 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:34.360 feet in. I feel like thirty five is all all 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:39.200 two feet in? Yeah, yeah, I'm thirty seven. I barely 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:40.960 want to have you thirty seven. 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:43.680 That's not all. But you look younger than me. 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:45.120 I'll be thirty eight in June. 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:47.800 Yeah, that's amazing. Oh you're an aquarius, right, I am 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:51.160 February thirteen. What's your husband's son? He is a cancer? 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:55.000 Oh okay, my husband's my husband's aquarius and I'm a cancer. 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:59.479 Oh my god, I met a female cancer. Literally No, 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:03.640 I just know all the guys and my husband were 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:08.520 better than absolutely, I hope. So fifty said like, you 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:11.160 ain't nothing like a hurt cancer man. Oh god, it's 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:14.120 not good. It's not good. Ship on their shoulder and 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:14.839 never come back. 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:18.760 They get they never come back. They're so sensitive. It 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:21.159 hurts so bad that they turned into fifty cent. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.440 I'm pretty sure it's another documentary being made right now 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:26.640 by somebody that once hurt him. And there it is, 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:28.880 which it's the what's the one is it? T? I 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:34.520 T and tiny surviving and tiny and the part is 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:38.240 the other one was good? I know it was. It was. 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:40.920 It was top not you. I'm not gonna hold you. 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.919 It was well done. Oh my god, the perspective, the narration, 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.480 just everything. I cried a little bit and I got 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:51.520 I did, and he just like that was terrible. 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:53.799 And then when he even when he got the jury, 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.400 the jury people to come on, you can tell they 0:05:56.400 --> 0:05:57.720 were kind of like starstruck. 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:00.479 But the one, yeah, good angle because the onel pissed 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.640 me off though she Yeah, I know everybody gonna know 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:06.680 the juror I'm talking about this black web talk. 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:08.400 About he did that thing that he did up making 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:08.719 the band. 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:11.080 I said, bitch, like, bye, you don't even need to 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:13.640 be in there. What's wrong with you? But I ain't 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:15.960 gonna lie though the guy that was left behind and 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.320 all that your ass ain't saying up and all this 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.200 goddamn time, Like I know, I ain't cry for his 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:24.360 ass and I ain't cry for he's saying something gonna do. 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:26.320 He didn't have a platform, he was in a homeless shelter. 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:29.120 Jess did he probably threaten him? You know, he don't play. 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:32.839 He kills people. Yeah, you're careful villain. That's what they said. 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:35.240 You're right now, that's what they said. I know. That's 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:37.680 but it was. It was just insane how we had 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.080 all that close up footage. I said, oh, how how 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:43.400 did this happen? He had the audacity to be filming himself. 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:45.480 But this is what narciss just do. They fucked themselves 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:48.600 because they're stupid, Like why would you film all of 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:52.000 this leading up to your trial? So cocky talking to 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:55.200 your lawyer like nah, we everything. It's like yo, oh 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.400 my god. And then the park where he had to 0:06:57.440 --> 0:06:59.279 go out and you know, make good with the people 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:04.599 and then got in the wash. Yeah I mean people peasantry, sweetheart. 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:06.680 But you know what it save, It gave such This 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:08.920 is not this episode is about, but very important. 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:10.360 It was. 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:13.360 It was so interesting to just see like the dynamic 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:16.720 of a weak ass nigga who doesn't feel adequate, Like 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:19.360 it's pour it pours out of his pores, you know 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:21.080 what I mean. It's like you you want to dance 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:22.560 a lot and ship. You want to be cool like 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:24.320 the cool niggas, but you ain't cool. And then it 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:26.080 was really killing me. When they had him in the studio, 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:29.080 they're like him like the writers are like, yeah, we 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:29.440 kept up. 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:31.920 Had to redo the track because he wanted to keep 0:07:31.920 --> 0:07:32.320 doing it. 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.960 Again because it wasn't good, and he was in there like. 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:39.400 But the guy is a kit high a goddamn. It 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:42.160 was like if he don't see his mother fucking somewhere. 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:45.840 It was I know, that's not what this episode. That 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:49.920 was really good because I never to talk about it, 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:53.840 so thank you. That wasn't that was good? Yeah, that 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:56.440 was good. You didn't get your heart together though, right, 0:07:57.360 --> 0:08:00.280 Oh baby, I don't know. He seems happy be as 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:07.080 hell over there in jail. I don't think, oh yeah, 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:12.360 fifty fifty finds so much comfort and pleasure and embarrassing 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:14.600 his abusers basically. 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.960 But do you think they're the car is gonna get him? 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.080 Because remember he ended jaw Roll when jaw Roll was 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:19.560 at his peak. 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:22.440 Remember that. I know, but I loved jaw so much. 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:23.720 I was just killed him. 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:26.040 He killed the whole murder inc in like one album. 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:28.920 Is someone going to kill him, just like Kendrick killed Drake. 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:30.000 Are we gonna it's just like a thing? 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:33.840 I don't know. Can fifty be killed? You already got 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.360 shot eleven times? I mean everyone could be killed. Baby, 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:40.240 you got shot eleven times, Like the number go up? 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:42.959 Everything is I thought, I don't know, you know you 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:44.360 got the bullets tatted on him. 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:48.520 Proof anyway. 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:51.760 Anyway, Yes, it's no better time for you to come 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.800 on good mom's bad choices than with the debut of 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.559 your new hip book Till Death Dewie Parents. 0:08:57.600 --> 0:08:58.040 Ma'am. 0:08:58.160 --> 0:08:59.400 You know at first what I saw, that's a I 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:01.319 was gonna be like bashing your baby daddy. 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:03.839 But it seems you guys are friends. We are best 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:08.320 friends of you. Yeah, yeah, we understand this co parenting. 0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:11.280 We were always friends though, But yeah, you never had 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:11.920 a bad season. 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:16.719 Mm. Yes, we had many bad seasons, and you can 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:20.440 see in chapter one three or it wasn't until like 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:23.960 five and six when we started like really really getting 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:26.760 well chapter five and six, which was also like the 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:29.160 fifth and sixth year of Ashton's life as well, Like 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:33.080 we started having real conversations and I started to see 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:39.400 Rome for like who he was and how his trauma 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:43.320 had a lot to do with how he was co 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.280 parent and how he looked at women and how he 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:48.360 even did everything. You know, he applied applied all of 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:51.040 that to his life, you know, an adult. In his 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:52.920 adult life, he went through. He went through a lot 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:57.440 as a child. So and once I started understanding him, 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.480 I started giving him grace, like, damn, you had a 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:03.800 traumatic childhood, Like it was crazy, it was great, then 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:08.280 it was horrible, and then it was gradually getting decent, 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:11.560 you know. And then he met me. So it was 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:14.800 a lot. It was a lot, and and that's how 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.120 he became my best friend. Just like I went from 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.560 being the bitter baby mama to like his confidante, Like 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:22.920 he would call me, invent to me, and then you know, 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:27.320 and we found such a synergy between us, like you know, 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:29.559 and it's like, okay, all right, I got you, you 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:32.199 my roll dog, Like that's really that's really like one 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:33.280 of my best friends. 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:35.800 How would you say, because I you know, generally most 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.400 women were not going to describe themselves at any period 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:40.400 as a bitter baby mama. But at some point, you know, 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:43.319 like we've all had some bitterness, what would you say 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.280 had brought you out of your bitter baby mama mode 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:50.600 into the more mature, evolved version that you were talking 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:51.120 to today. 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.440 Girl. I tried to see. I thought I could do both. 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:56.679 I thought I could be bitter and show up as 0:10:56.679 --> 0:10:59.400 the best parent. I was like, Nah, I'm gonna show 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.400 you I hate you, right, and I'm gonna still be 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:04.720 the best mommy. It don't work out like that, because 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.360 the kid sees it all, you know, And my son 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:09.600 has always been very very smart, you know, not saying 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:12.400 it just because he's my son, but like he literally 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:15.000 is always caught on to like my little moods and 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.319 things I would say. And even if I've never bashed 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:20.520 his father to him, I never did that. I don't 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:22.960 even really respect when you know, women do that, but 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:26.720 because they gonna get old enough to see you know, yeah, 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:32.040 you know, but I've never done that. But Rome I 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:34.080 had to, Like I said, I had to have those 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:42.240 hard conversations because once I got past receiving and accepting 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.120 the fact that, yo, we're not gonna be together, that's 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:49.199 what made me like dow my bitterness back. You know, 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:51.560 we're not gonna be together. I thought I was gonna 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:53.160 spend the rest of my life with that nigga, you 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:55.400 know what I'm saying at one point, but it was 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.480 just it don't work like that all the time. And 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:03.640 I was seventeen when I started doing Your Day's like 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:06.080 right after her, you know, I'm saying right after high school, right, 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:07.319 And yeah. 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:08.679 I think that a lot of people because we talk 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.800 about this, like just in general. I think a part 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.240 of the reason we started Good Moms is because we 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:15.760 were both getting out of our baby daddy relationships around 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:16.280 the same time. 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:17.640 And I don't think. 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:21.880 People, like sometimes of other racists don't understand, like when 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:25.040 you break up with your baby daddy, the disappointment that 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:29.360 it causes, because there's a deep stereotype against black women 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:30.560 being baby mamas. 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:32.200 Hello, yes, and. 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.840 It's like it's not it's like I'm a stereotype, like 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:37.480 and so there's an acceptance that has to happen that 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:39.679 kind of ruins and shatters our dreams and you're like, 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.000 I was gonna be a fucking baby mom over the 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:46.760 rest of my life. And it's like like a stereotype 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.360 that we didn't even we didn't even like, we didn't. 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:49.760 Even agree to. 0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:53.240 So it's very layered when that breakup happens. I remember 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:55.559 being out with my baby daddy, like at the museum 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:56.600 and I see like white families. 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:59.240 I'm like, I didn't do that, but I was like, 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:01.240 we're pushing the shower mom. 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:03.920 Dad baby right, or because you know, even like in public, 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:05.280 people be like, oh is the dad around? 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.840 Like but first of all, are don't ask me that question? 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:10.559 A little bit? Yeah? Up in the streets? 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:13.360 Yeah, like why, Like I feel like white people like 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:16.199 when they like, please don't white families. 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.439 Attention. This is a PSA announcement. 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:21.640 Please, for the love of fucking God, do not see 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:23.600 a single black woman with a baby and then whisper 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:25.160 or even ask is. 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:27.440 The dad's around? The dad in life? 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.040 Because Kelly I didn't, I'm gonna start asking white witch, 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:31.600 is that where's his dad? 0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:34.040 Yeah? He around? 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:37.120 You see my guy who goes around asking people at 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:41.400 the store like do you work here? 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:43.680 It's a part of our reverse Karen Era. We gotta 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:46.559 do more like like no, no, I have my best 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:48.880 friend's white. Don't worry, but how did you get your hair? 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:49.280 Like that? 0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:52.960 But I think that people don't understand how lair it 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:55.280 is for black women, even black men. Sometimes I don't 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.920 think they understand, like how triggering. It is when those 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:01.360 relationships end, especially probably how much black women stay in 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.200 relationships to try and make it work. Yes, and bitch, 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.320 you need to go a long time ago exactly. And 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:10.119 that was that was my plight, Like, that was my experience. 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:11.680 That's why if you read. 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:14.480 The book in chapters two, three, four, five, like I 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:18.080 was really really trying because I didn't want to be 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.640 just a baby mama. Like nobody signs up to meet someone, 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.520 fall in love with them, have a baby for nothing, 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.280 like then you break up. Nobody signs up for that shit, 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:30.040 you know. I mean, well nowadays, well this polygamy and 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:32.360 shit going on right now people and all that, But 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:36.960 I'm talking about like like everybody wants loved and you know, 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:39.160 you have a you meet somebody, you have a baby 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:43.840 with them, and then everything goes this shit and you're like, damn, 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:47.520 I wish I saw this before that. Nine months I 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:50.400 was carrying your child, not able to smoke, and I'd 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:53.440 be wanting this light up a blood every day dealing 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.320 with your ass, you know what I mean. So, uh yeah, 0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:58.600 that's the main reason why I even wrote the book, 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:03.000 because there has been bad stigma put on black families. 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:05.280 You know, and I'm a comedian, so I see it 0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:08.280 all the time. The number one black joke go to 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:11.360 is I bet your dad ain't around or where your dad? 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:14.840 You know? And as funny as it may be in 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:17.400 the moment, this is somebody's trauma, you know what I mean. 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.240 Kids can't help that their dad, you know, are not around. 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:22.840 And then you got some some deadbeat ass moms out 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:25.200 here too, dad ain't around, and you got the dads 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:28.320 that are taking care of their children. So it's definitely 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:30.000 a stigma that I want to break. I want to 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:31.760 help break, you know what I'm saying. So that's the 0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:34.000 whole point of me writing till death do we parent? 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:37.840 And both your parents have been together for a long time, right. 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:40.720 Yeah, My parents actually just got divorced maybe three four 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:43.960 years ago. They were together before I was born, and 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:46.720 they met in high school. 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:49.200 How has that affected you because you always hear about 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:50.800 like in high you know, my kids, when my parents 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.320 got divorced, I've never been the same, but like as 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:54.920 an adult, cause I'm sure probably for a long time 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:56.280 you expected that to be forever. 0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:57.560 They were my example. 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:00.560 Yeah, so how has that affected you seeing that, you know, 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:02.600 experiencing their divorce as an adult. 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:07.240 Well, no, growing up and my grown self having a 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:11.480 conversation with my mother realizing that it was a lot 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:13.640 of my father's infidelity. You know what I'm saying, because 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:17.320 my fuck you had no idea. No, well I had 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:20.160 idea because you know, I had a little sister, and 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:24.080 I was like, oh, Okayn's daughter. Yeah, no, she's not 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.280 my mom's daughter, but she my mom treats her as 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:30.240 if she's her own. But yeah, I have She is 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:35.720 twenty two, she's eleven years younger than me, And I 0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:38.440 thought that was a yeah, like that's my baby, like me, 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:42.680 that's my twin. She looked just like me. But that 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:46.960 was the first and only time I had ever knew 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:49.680 of my dad doing anything outside of the marriage. Right, 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:52.280 And then when I grew up and I had this 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.280 conversation with my mom, there were apparently there were, you know, 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:58.600 a couple more times, and you know, I'm having this 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:00.840 conversation with my dad like ye tell me, you was 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:02.760 all here getting to like that, like what's going on? 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:06.440 You know what I mean? And that hurt me. It 0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:09.800 really freaking hurt me, because I honestly didn't see my 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:14.760 parents separating or divorcing, and I didn't think that it 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:17.040 would affect me like it did. But I think I 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:20.280 kind of went back to that child that saw nothing 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:23.400 but her mom and her dad together. I'm talking about 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:27.920 they displayed love, public display of affection everywhere in the church, 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:30.920 out shopping, they would take me and my brother places 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:34.440 and just you know, and that that was what I saw. 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:38.680 So that's what I wanted, you know, and it ended. 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:42.080 I am happy that she is happy, she remarried. 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.920 I just rarely hear about the wife after a long 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:50.120 term relationship remarrying women be. 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:52.320 Like, fuck all that. I'm good, I know, but that's 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:55.480 my dad. On the flip side, that's my dad, you know. 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.360 But what I will say when you get married so young, 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.240 and they were married right out of high school, Dad 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:02.920 was going into the Marines, and like he never got 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:05.080 to live a bachelor life. She never got to live 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:07.560 a bachelor life. Now, she never wanted to do that. 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:09.800 My mom is of the church and the church. On 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:12.080 top of the church and the church, like my mom 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:14.240 has always been rooted in Christ in her faith, you know, 0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:17.000 and that's how we were raised. However, my dad was 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:19.159 the more lenient parent, Like you know, he has a 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.720 relationship with God. But it wasn't anything like my mom's, 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:27.119 you know, so he never got to live out that 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:29.680 that single bachelor life, you know. And when you get 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:32.560 married at such a young age, sometimes it's not your 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.480 forever to be married to the first person, you know, 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:38.120 so you got and yeah you do. 0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:42.239 I'm like shout out to them for like protecting you 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:43.800 so much that you had no idea that there was 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:45.880 shit going on, because my parents were saying high school, 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:48.400 out of high school, and I knew since I was six, like, bitch, if. 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:51.440 You don't leave this nigga when you were six years. 0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:54.280