1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: That's the part where we go wrong. We try to 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:06,519 Speaker 1: divide our time equally. We try to divide our money equally, 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: We try to divide our attention equally. Right, It's impossible 4 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: to equally divide your time between work and family. If 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: you're working at eight to nine hour job and then 6 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: you're spending three hours with family in the evening, it 7 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,280 Speaker 1: can feel like it's not equal. It can feel like 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: you're always working. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, 9 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to 10 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: each and every single one of you that come back 11 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,519 Speaker 1: every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, whether you're cooking, 12 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 1: whether you're walking your dog, whether you're at the gym, 13 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: whether you're catching a sunrise or a sunset, or you're 14 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,279 Speaker 1: driving in your car, I'm so grateful to be with you, 15 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: and I appreciate you so much for letting me into 16 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: your world, for letting me into your life. I love 17 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 1: the reaction when I bumped into one of you on 18 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 1: the streets or at an event or wherever we are, 19 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: and you give me a big hug and let me 20 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,479 Speaker 1: know that you listen to the podcast. And this happened 21 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: last week where someone said to me they said, Jay, 22 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: I feel like I know you, but you don't know me. 23 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: And I said, you do know me. You do know me. 24 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: I share so openly and vulnerably and honestly on the podcast. 25 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,759 Speaker 1: You do know me. And I can't wait to meet 26 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: you too. So thank you so much to everyone who's 27 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 1: leaving reviews on the show, who's posting on Instagram and 28 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: TikTok and Twitter. I'm seeing more and more posts about 29 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,040 Speaker 1: the show all the time. And today we're talking about 30 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 1: something really important, something that I feel a lot of 31 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: people are striving for, a lot of people are chasing, 32 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 1: and a lot of people are pursuing. And the statistics 33 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: show this as well. People are stressed. Sixty five percent 34 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: of employees who now work from home say they are 35 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: working longer hours. And so the thing that we're all 36 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: chasing is work life balance. What I find really fascinating 37 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 1: about this is that it's often our pursuit of an 38 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: incomplete belief that creates more challenges in our life. Let 39 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: me break that down. When we don't define or understand ideas, 40 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: words and concepts clearly, but then we still pursue them, 41 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 1: we often end up somewhere we don't want to be. 42 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: It's almost like going somewhere without being really clear on 43 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: the coordinates, or you go somewhere but you don't get 44 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: the zip code spot on. This happened to me probably 45 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,639 Speaker 1: about six months back. Now. I was going to meet 46 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 1: one of my friends at his new office building, and 47 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: my team had popped his address in my schedule, and 48 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: so I went to that street. What I didn't realize 49 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,080 Speaker 1: is that they hadn't placed the exact number of the building. 50 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: They had the building name and the street name, and 51 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 1: it took me to the street, not that particular building. 52 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,639 Speaker 1: I ended up being still thirty minutes away, because supposedly 53 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: that street runs from La all the way to Calabas's, 54 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: right from West Hollywood to Calabas's. And so what I 55 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 1: find in life is often that we pursue words like success, 56 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: We pursue words like wealth, we pursue words like security, 57 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: we pursue words like stability, we pursue words like excitement, 58 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: but we never took the time to define or understand 59 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: what those words actually mean. And I believe that work 60 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: life balance is one of those terms. It's a term 61 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: that we've been saying for a long time. It's a 62 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: term that we've heard for a long time. It's a 63 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: term that seems to make sense, but I think the 64 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: way we think about it doesn't always stack up. So 65 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: I want to read for a second some of the 66 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:19,360 Speaker 1: definitions of the word balance and how I think we 67 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: interpret this word incorrectly, which leads us not finding balance. 68 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: So balance is defined as an even distribution of weight, 69 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady, and 70 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:41,920 Speaker 1: even distribution, that's where the challenge comes in. We try 71 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 1: to evenly distribute our time. We try to evenly distribute 72 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 1: our money. We try to evenly distribute our energy, and 73 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 1: the truth is that you can't evenly distribute it because 74 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 1: there are enough hours in the day. Now. Another definition 75 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: of balance is a condition in which different elements are equal, 76 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: and that's the part where we go wrong. We try 77 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: to divide our time equally. We try to divide our 78 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: money equally. We try to divide our attention equally, and 79 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:25,280 Speaker 1: you can't do that right. It's impossible to equally divide 80 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: your time between work and family. If you're working at 81 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:31,600 Speaker 1: eight to nine hour job and then you're spending three 82 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: hours with family in the evening, it can feel like 83 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:39,480 Speaker 1: it's not equal. It can feel like you're always working, right, 84 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 1: And that's where those terms come about. You're always working, 85 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:47,480 Speaker 1: You're never at home? Are we always working? Are we 86 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: never at home? That's not true, but because it's the majority, 87 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 1: it feels like it. So because it's seventy five percent 88 00:05:56,839 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 1: of the day, it becomes one hundred percent. Because we're 89 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: trying to get to fifty fifty, we're trying to get 90 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:07,799 Speaker 1: to equality. Now, here's where the definition of balance actually improves. 91 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: It says a condition in which different elements are equal 92 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: or in the correct proportions. That's the part I want 93 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 1: to focus on correct proportions. We can create proportionate distribution 94 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 1: in our life. We can't, or we will struggle to 95 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 1: create equal distribution in our life. And sometimes as we 96 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: strive for equal and even distribution, we end up feeling 97 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: really upset and disappointed. Right, We end up feeling really, 98 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: really like we're struggling. Now, I want to talk to 99 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 1: you about five states that we need on any given 100 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: day or any given week. Throughout the day, throughout the week, 101 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,719 Speaker 1: throughout the month, throughout the year, we will need a 102 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: different state at different times. And there's two things to 103 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 1: note here. The first thing is you won't always have 104 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: access to that state at that time, but you want 105 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: to create space for that state. This will make a 106 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: lot more sense as they start walking through it. So 107 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: if you think about any activity you need to do, 108 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: any task, you need to do, anything you would like 109 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: to do in a day, you need one of these 110 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: five states in order to do it. Sometimes you need focus. 111 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: Maybe it's a work task, right, Maybe it's a big project, 112 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: Maybe it's a new product, you're working on, a new 113 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: service you're creating. You need a high level of focus. 114 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: That's one state. But you don't need focus to do 115 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 1: everything in your life. You don't need to be focused 116 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: on everything. Focus can be draining. If someone said to 117 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: you need to be focused throughout the day, that could 118 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: be highly exhausting, and maybe you're experiencing that. The second 119 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: one is sometimes you just need high energy, which means 120 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: you just need that raw enthusiasm and energy to get 121 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: stuff done right. The third state that you need is presence. 122 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: This is a lighter form of focus, often in relationships. Right, 123 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: you don't need to be focused in a conversation. You 124 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: need to be present in a conversation. Focus is a 125 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: slightly different energy. Presence is a softer, more easy energy 126 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 1: of being alert and aware. You then have planning. Sometimes 127 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: you need to be in a planning state. You need 128 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: to be in a state of thinking about the future, 129 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: building for the future, trying to craft something for the future. 130 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 1: And the fifth state is rest, relaxation, calm. We all 131 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: need in our life a state of rest, a state 132 00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 1: of refuel, a state of rebuild. So instead of trying 133 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:09,719 Speaker 1: to divide our time equally, which often creates many many issues, 134 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: instead of trying to divide our money equally, which also 135 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: doesn't always work, we have to start thinking in how 136 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:27,679 Speaker 1: do I create schedules and plans that are focused on 137 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: the state I need to do that in. So, for example, 138 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: this comes with a level of awareness that we may 139 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: not have if we haven't done this exercise. This is 140 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: an activity that comes from the book When by Daniel Pink. 141 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: He's been on the podcast. You can listen to his 142 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: episode as well. We talked about this book and it's 143 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: a book about the art of timing, and he talks 144 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: about this exercise that we're about to do right now, 145 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: and this exercise helps us find out what tasks we 146 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 1: should do at different times of the day. The first 147 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: thing you need to do in this is you need 148 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: to write down your general bedtime and your general waking 149 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: up time. So my general bedtime is ten pm and 150 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: my waking up time is six am. I try to 151 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: sleep for eight hours, So I want you to write 152 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: down yours. Now, you may work late, you may work early. 153 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: What are yours? What's your bedtime? Write it down? And 154 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: what is your wake up time? So mine's ten pm 155 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 1: and six am? Write there down. Now write down your midpoint. 156 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: What is the middle time in between those two Mine 157 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: is two am? Yours could be two thirty. It could 158 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 1: be five thirty, It could be one thirty, it could 159 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 1: be any of those. What is yours? What is your 160 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: middle time between the two times? So two am is 161 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,199 Speaker 1: four hours from ten pm and four hours from six 162 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: am to two am. Now write that number down and 163 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 1: listen very carefully. If your midpoint of sleep is three 164 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: thirty am or earlier, you're known as what's called a 165 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: lark l a r K A lark. So I'm a 166 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: lark because my midpoint is two am, which is three 167 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 1: thirty am or earlier. So if your time is three 168 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 1: thirty am or earlier, you're a lark like me. Now 169 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 1: if your midpoint of sleep is five thirty am or later, 170 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 1: you're probably an owl. That's the name given to So 171 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,520 Speaker 1: if your midpoint was five thirty am or later, you're 172 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: known as an owl, And if your midpoint is somewhere 173 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: in between, you're known as a third bird. So I 174 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: want you to write down, are you a lark like me? 175 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: Because your midpoint is three thirty am or earlier? Are 176 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 1: you an owl? Which means your midpoint is five thirty 177 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: am or later. And if you're between those two, then 178 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: you're a third bird. And now I'm going to share 179 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 1: some really interesting information about when you're able to do 180 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 1: certain tasks better. And I think this is the balance 181 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: we're looking for. The balance we want is how can 182 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: I be at my best when I'm with my family 183 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: and when I'm at work. That's really the balance we're 184 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: looking for. What we don't want is I spend an 185 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,839 Speaker 1: equal amount of time at work and an equal amount 186 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,839 Speaker 1: of time at home, but I'm not at my best 187 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: neither of those, and I'm stressed out during both of 188 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 1: those times. I'm sure no one wants that. We want 189 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 1: to make sure that we have time to refuel. We 190 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,959 Speaker 1: want to make sure that we have time to give 191 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,480 Speaker 1: our best energy to the people we love. We want 192 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: to make sure that we're doing good at work, right, 193 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: So I think the challenges we think balance means I 194 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 1: spend an equal amount of time at work at home 195 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: and that's what's going to make me feel good. But 196 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,920 Speaker 1: that doesn't make a lot of people feel good, right. 197 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: That doesn't make people feel good. So when it comes 198 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:20,160 Speaker 1: to analytical tasks, for the lark, early morning is the best. 199 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 1: For the third bird, early to mid morning is best, 200 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: and for the owl, late afternoon and evening is the best. Now, 201 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 1: if you ever a partner who's always working in the 202 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: late afternoon or evening, chances eides because they're an owl 203 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:41,080 Speaker 1: and that's the best time of day. According to Daniel Pink, 204 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: to do these things depending on what we've just deciphered 205 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 1: as your chronotype. What we've just discovered is your chronotype. 206 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 1: So for analytical tasks, lark do it best early morning, 207 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: third bird do it early to mid morning, and the 208 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: owl does it late afternoon and evening. Notice how that 209 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: slight shift could change how you feel about your partner, 210 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 1: how you feel about yourself, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, burnout. What 211 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,679 Speaker 1: do all of these have in common a lack of 212 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: perceived control over your time, thoughts, and tasks. But what 213 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: if I told you fixing all of these problems is 214 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: as simple as fixing your mindset towards them. I know, 215 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 1: not simple at all. Everyone's busy, everyone's stress, but we 216 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,600 Speaker 1: could all use more calm in our lives, and learning 217 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: to stay grounded and grateful is truly a daily practice. 218 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: That's why I've partnered with Calm dot com to bring 219 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: you the Daily j. If you've ever wanted to meditate 220 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 1: with me and take back control over your busy mind, 221 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: join me on the car map for the Daily J, 222 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: a daily guided meditation where I'll help you find calm 223 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: in the chaos, plant beautiful tensions for a happy, abundant life, 224 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: and simple steps for positive actions to get you closer 225 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: to the life of your dreams. Meditate with me by 226 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 1: going to Calm dot com forward slash jay to get 227 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 1: forty percent off a Calm Premium membership that's only forty 228 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 1: two dollars for the whole year for daily guided meditations. 229 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:26,479 Speaker 1: Experience the Daily jy only on Calm Now. Insight tasks 230 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: tasks that require you to provide insight and this could 231 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 1: be being present with your partner, listening to them. It's 232 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: more presence analytics focused. Insight is presence. For the lark, 233 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 1: it's late afternoon early evening. Right late afternoon or early 234 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 1: evening is the best time for a lark to do 235 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 1: insightful presence based things. For the third bird, insight tasks same. 236 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: It's late afternoon and early evening. But now for the 237 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 1: owl it's the morning, and al does insight tasks best 238 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 1: in the morning. I'm hoping you're listening to this and going, oh, 239 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: and now I realize why I don't have energy for 240 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 1: that at that time. Now I realize why I'm not 241 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: in the right state for that at that time. Maybe 242 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: you're trying to do things at times when it's harder 243 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 1: to do them the way I describe that, and that's 244 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 1: what we struggle with. Balance is what I love about 245 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: nature is that things are not always balanced, but the 246 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 1: seasons always flow, so things come and go in seasons. Now, 247 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 1: maybe you're like, I want to grow apples earlier around. 248 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: I want to grow ex fruit earlier around. That puts 249 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 1: things out of balance, and sometimes we do that, we 250 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: go I want to do this for the rest of 251 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: the year. I want to do this every single day, 252 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: and that puts us out of balance because we're trying 253 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 1: to grow something that you can't grow at that time. Right, 254 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 1: there's certain things you can't grow in the winter. That 255 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: doesn't mean you don't have another version of it. It 256 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: doesn't mean you don't plant new seeds, or doesn't mean 257 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: you don't take care of the land. You can do 258 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 1: lots of things. You just don't expect something to grow. 259 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 1: And I think that's the challenge. We are expecting perfect 260 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: balance all year round when we're going through a season 261 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: that doesn't allow for balance. What's needed more as a 262 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:20,480 Speaker 1: priorities approach. A farmer or someone working in agriculture has 263 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 1: a different priority in different seasons. They're still working on 264 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 1: the same patch of land. You're still working on yourself, 265 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,920 Speaker 1: You're still giving love to your family. You just can't 266 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: have a view that it's going to look the same 267 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 1: every day. We have to start thinking of our life 268 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 1: in seasons. We have to approach our life in seasons. Okay, Now, 269 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:48,919 Speaker 1: when you need energy, making an impression your state of energy. 270 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 1: Larks are best in the morning and making an impression. 271 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:56,399 Speaker 1: Third birds mourning is the best time to make an impression, 272 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 1: and we then have owls mourning as well. That's when 273 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 1: the owls will make their best impression, when you need 274 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 1: that energetic expression of yourself, and finally, when you need 275 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,200 Speaker 1: to make a decision, which is more about planning as 276 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: a state. Larks early morning, third bird early to mid morning, 277 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 1: and owl late afternoon and evening. So what I'm trying 278 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,960 Speaker 1: to share here is that there are different times of 279 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,520 Speaker 1: the day when we're better at doing different things, and 280 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 1: we have to realize that we can't just force ourselves 281 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,120 Speaker 1: to do everything all of the time, and balance can 282 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: often feel like that, where we just feel exhausted because 283 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 1: we're trying to do everything all at the same time. Now, 284 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,200 Speaker 1: there are habits that create more balance in our life 285 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 1: and habits that create more imbalance in our life. For example, 286 00:18:54,000 --> 00:19:00,119 Speaker 1: a habit that truly has unhealthy impact on us and 287 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 1: our balance is a lack of sleep or sleep deprivation. 288 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:09,360 Speaker 1: It's really interesting because a lot of people will sacrifice 289 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:13,880 Speaker 1: sleep to watch a show or to feel like they're 290 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,360 Speaker 1: decompressing in order to feel balance. Right, It's like I've 291 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 1: worked all day, I now need to balance myself by 292 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: doing something mindless like watching my favorite show, And here's 293 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,439 Speaker 1: what happens when we don't get enough sleep. There's a 294 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:33,760 Speaker 1: lack of alertness. Even missing as little as one point 295 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 1: five hours can have an impact on how you feel 296 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 1: impaired memory. Lack of sleep can affect your ability to think, 297 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: remember and process information, relationship stress. It can make you 298 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: feel moody, and you can become more likely to have 299 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 1: conflicts with others. So one of the reasons why I 300 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 1: raise the idea of rest is rest is one of 301 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:05,520 Speaker 1: the great way of causing balance, creating balance. And we 302 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,919 Speaker 1: do want to rest, but then we push further on 303 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,920 Speaker 1: days when a little bit more rest. So we say, 304 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 1: oh yeah, I'll ly in on Saturday. But the one 305 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 1: hour you missed every night from Monday to Friday was 306 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,960 Speaker 1: more impactful on your health than the extra one hour 307 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: or two hours you got in bed on a Saturday morning. Right, 308 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,399 Speaker 1: Notice how that happens to so many people where we 309 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:33,040 Speaker 1: miss out or we struggle because we don't grab that sleep. 310 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,919 Speaker 1: So I want to share with you how do we 311 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:42,640 Speaker 1: get these states right? How do we improve these states 312 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:49,439 Speaker 1: in our lives? So what gives us focus? Meditation helps 313 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,919 Speaker 1: us develop focus. And when we're talking about meditation, I 314 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,120 Speaker 1: want to give you really simple practice. I want you 315 00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,679 Speaker 1: to light a little candle in your room, or you 316 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: could have a diffuser pouring a beautiful essential oil. And 317 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 1: what I want you to do, whether you have the 318 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 1: diffuser or the candle, I want you to first breathe 319 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,399 Speaker 1: in the scent. To sit in the presence of the 320 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,159 Speaker 1: candle or the diffuser without anything else around you, and 321 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 1: I want you to breathe in the scent and notice 322 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 1: how it changes how you feel. The next thing I 323 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 1: want you to do is look at the flame and 324 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:36,639 Speaker 1: in the diffuser, look at what's coming out. Take a 325 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:43,720 Speaker 1: moment to observe this deeply, every flicker, every movement, every 326 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 1: time the diffuser lets off steam. Just taking a moment 327 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: to observe the colors, the frequency, the shapes. And the 328 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,640 Speaker 1: third thing I want you to do to improve your 329 00:21:55,640 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: focus is go outdoors and just observe nature. But a 330 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 1: sixty second timer on your phone. What's the leaves, Watch 331 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: a squirrel, watch the sun, Just to be really focused 332 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:28,280 Speaker 1: on what is happening. Those simple habits will improve your 333 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 1: focus drastically because you are narrowing in on one activity 334 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 1: every day. If you were to do one of those 335 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: things every day. Your focus will start to improve. There's 336 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 1: a beautiful quote by Bruce Lee where he said that 337 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:47,959 Speaker 1: I'm not scared of someone who's practiced ten thousand kicks 338 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 1: one each time. I'm scared of the person that's practiced 339 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:57,359 Speaker 1: one kick ten thousand times. Right. It's not the variety 340 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,439 Speaker 1: of things we do that impacts our life. It's the 341 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,399 Speaker 1: specificity and the quality of things that we do that 342 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:07,159 Speaker 1: improves our life. How deeply have you done something is 343 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 1: more important than how many things have you done right. 344 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 1: It's not about the variety, it's not about the number, 345 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 1: it's about the depth. How do we get energy? We 346 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,680 Speaker 1: all know that energy comes through exercise. There's a great 347 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 1: study that the researchers at the University of Georgia found 348 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 1: that sedentary, otherwise healthy adults who engaged in as little 349 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: as twenty minutes of low to moderate aerobic exercise three 350 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: days a week for six consecutive weeks reported an increase 351 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 1: in energy levels and feeling less fatigued. Pete McCaul, the 352 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 1: exercise psychologist at the American Council of Exercise, said if 353 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,719 Speaker 1: a sedentary individual begins an exercise program, it will enhance 354 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,400 Speaker 1: the blood flow carrying oxygen and nutrients to muscle tissue, 355 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 1: improving their ability to produce more energy. When they did 356 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 1: this study on two groups, they found that both exercise 357 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 1: groups experienced a twenty percent increase in energy levels by 358 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 1: the end of the study compared to the non exercising group, 359 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 1: with the lower intensity group reporting a sixty five percent 360 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: drop in feelings of fatigue, while the more intense exercises 361 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,959 Speaker 1: reported a forty nine percent drop in fatigue. The idea 362 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 1: that we can move for simply twenty to thirty minutes 363 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 1: a day can make a huge difference to our energy 364 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,280 Speaker 1: at the end of the day. Now, how do we 365 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 1: get presents with the people we love? Well? When we 366 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: don't sleep, we've fail irritated. When we don't work out, 367 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,119 Speaker 1: we don't have the energy. When we don't have focus, 368 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: we're not able to be present. Sometimes, how do we 369 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 1: really be present with the people we love? We're present 370 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 1: by knowing that we give the amount of time that 371 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: we can be present. Often what ends up happening is 372 00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 1: we want the ego of saying I'm free all of Saturday, 373 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 1: I'm with you. How fun is it going to be? 374 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 1: But we're stressed by that over commitment. Often we overcommit, 375 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:15,200 Speaker 1: we overpromise because we want to feel and seem and 376 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,359 Speaker 1: be viewed as someone who cares. We want to show 377 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,879 Speaker 1: our partners and our families that were present and that 378 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 1: we care. But then what ends up happening is we're 379 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 1: on our phones for the rest of that day. We're 380 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: stressing out, we're anxious, we're nervous, We're not really there, 381 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 1: and people can sense it. It's so much better to 382 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,919 Speaker 1: be honest and maybe even be perceived as not caring 383 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,959 Speaker 1: and saying, hey, I'm going to be half the day 384 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: and Saturday, I'm there, but I've got to work there 385 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 1: other half the day. That honesty is more powerful because 386 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,199 Speaker 1: for those four hours you will be the best person 387 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,960 Speaker 1: you can possibly be, because you know you have that 388 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: to truly be present. Too many of us are overpromising 389 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,439 Speaker 1: and under delivering. Now, what gives you the ability to 390 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:06,360 Speaker 1: plan its ideas, fueling yourself with ideas, books, thought processes, systems, 391 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:12,199 Speaker 1: and what gives you rest Spending time in nature, listening 392 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,240 Speaker 1: to nature sounds if you can't get out to nature, 393 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 1: putting on a beautiful calm meditation, allowing yourself to be 394 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 1: in true stillness and true silence, even if you find 395 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,639 Speaker 1: it uncomfortable in the beginning. I want to thank you 396 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,880 Speaker 1: for supporting and listening to On Purpose. I hope this 397 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,960 Speaker 1: episode really really helped today. I hope it's going to 398 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:39,160 Speaker 1: help you think about balance differently. I really don't want 399 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,200 Speaker 1: you to think of balances like this equal distribution, even 400 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,560 Speaker 1: breakdown and then feel bad and sad that you can't 401 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: live up to it. None of us can. But what 402 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 1: we can do is proportionately divide eye time. Often one 403 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 1: to two hours of personal habits a day can actually 404 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: improve how we are throughout the day. There's one to 405 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,440 Speaker 1: two hours can impact the other twenty two hours. Thanks 406 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,359 Speaker 1: so much for listening to On Purpose. I'll see you 407 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 1: again next week for more exciting episodes with guests and 408 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 1: our Friday workshops. Thank you so much, See you soon.