Speaker 1: Your heavenly Father. Please, for the love of God, Please,
Speaker 1: for the love of God, give us a good episode today.
Speaker 1: I swear to God, like all the good parts, all
Speaker 1: the nutrients. Please, please, please, please, don't let.
Speaker 2: The demons attack us. Don't let the demons attack us.
Speaker 2: Let us only be full of laughter and joy and
Speaker 2: Drew ship.
Speaker 3: Guys, I'm back and I fucked up. We started recording
Speaker 3: an episode and I didn't press record on the audience we.
Speaker 2: Record, You're and that was proof that prayer is actually
Speaker 2: it's manifesting evil. Like you're asking God not to do
Speaker 2: or you're asking him to do something good for you,
Speaker 2: but really he's gonna give you evil.
Speaker 4: Literally, Why do you only talk.
Speaker 2: To him when you need something from him? I feel
Speaker 2: like God low key, I'm like God as fuck.
Speaker 1: What is that fucking vibrator? That's her wingbot outside?
Speaker 2: Yeah, my writer's mad because I haven't been fucking with her,
Speaker 2: so she's at the door right now.
Speaker 1: Yase, libido is so low. It's actually so fucking annoying.
Speaker 4: I know I haven't been giving why annoying?
Speaker 1: She won't put out right, Like, it's not like you
Speaker 1: can have sex. You have a stomach full of shit, y'all.
Speaker 1: It is so fried for me. So let's like take
Speaker 1: it back a few days. I literally, like like three
Speaker 1: days ago. I was like, damn, I haven't like no,
Speaker 1: not even three days ago, like a.
Speaker 5: Couple of days, Like yeah, by Wednesday.
Speaker 1: You were like, damn, I haven't shit in like a
Speaker 1: few days. But like normally when I ship, I can
Speaker 1: like feel like it like or when I don't shit,
Speaker 1: I can like feel it like in my guts, like
Speaker 1: it's like horrible, and like I was like, huh, like
Speaker 1: I don't feel that crazy. But then I started doing
Speaker 1: the math and I was like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: haven't shit since the day before we left for Big
Speaker 1: sur So I was like, oh my god, it has
Speaker 1: been now eleven days, eleven days to the day that
Speaker 1: I have not shit. And I was like, oh my
Speaker 1: fucking god, like, actually, what is going on with me?
Speaker 1: And it's those goddamn fucking pumpkin seeds. I swear to
Speaker 1: fucking gop it is. It's it's the fucking pumpkin seeds.
Speaker 1: They're fucking evil, they're sinistered, they're dark sided. I fucking
Speaker 1: hate pumpkin seeds. They taste so goddamn good. But like
Speaker 1: they're canceled. I'm canceling pumpkin seeds like I'm canceling that in.
Speaker 5: Too many steps. Oh.
Speaker 2: I was like, right, it's because they're high in fiber.
Speaker 2: So if you have too much fiber, you fuck up
Speaker 2: your belly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like so over and I was just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. And I was like, fuck, dude, I
Speaker 1: haven't shit in like a week.
Speaker 2: You know what's crazy is it kind of did constipate
Speaker 2: me in Big Sir. Like in Big Sir, I couldn't
Speaker 2: like poop as easy as I usually do. Usually I
Speaker 2: wake up and I just take a big, nice, fucking
Speaker 2: heaping shit, and I just wasn't doing that in Big Sir.
Speaker 5: But I just assumed it was because I was eating family.
Speaker 3: I personally can't wait for it to come out of Drew.
Speaker 1: No, it makes and so it's literally Kai's twin inside
Speaker 1: of me, like it Like literally Kai came in and
Speaker 1: like saw that I was like giant, and he thought
Speaker 1: I was fucking pregnant.
Speaker 3: He was a little pregnant belly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did go get a what's it called what
Speaker 2: do women get when uh you what, like they're working
Speaker 2: on a house or something.
Speaker 5: Yeah, sawing through the wood, through the wood of the house.
Speaker 1: So there's a demon inside of me. And I haven't
Speaker 1: shit in ten fucking days. So I brought out the
Speaker 1: big guns. I was like, Oh, we're getting this shit
Speaker 1: out of me tomorrow. So I literally lay it on
Speaker 1: the floor of the fucking bathroom, ready for fucking war, y'all.
Speaker 1: Like I was, really, I was fully prepared to get
Speaker 1: it out of me. It's like that fucking alien from
Speaker 1: like Romulus, like breaking out of my fucking guts, Like
Speaker 1: I pray to God that shit would happen to me.
Speaker 1: And I was like laying on the floor of the
Speaker 1: bathroom for literally six hours from like ten am to
Speaker 1: four pm. And I was like using salineinemas, I was
Speaker 1: using glycerine suppositories, I was using mineral oil inemas. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, like, I'm gonna like actually
Speaker 1: get this shit out of me, and I this is
Speaker 1: final option for me, Like I don't do this often
Speaker 1: because when this shit happens, it is the most painful
Speaker 1: fucking thing in my entire life, like what I am
Speaker 1: at and giving childbirth is like. And so I brought
Speaker 1: out magnesium sit rate y'all, to no fucking avail. It
Speaker 1: is so canceled for me, it's over.
Speaker 5: What's crazy about you? Saying that?
Speaker 2: About magnizium citrate is the only time I've been actually constipated.
Speaker 2: I asked Drew, and he told me to take that,
Speaker 2: and it was the worst night of my fucking life.
Speaker 2: Like I could have done a suppository and I probably
Speaker 2: would have been like, fine, No, it's fucking.
Speaker 1: Horrible a suppository literally, yes, really, I was gonna try
Speaker 1: a second one, but it only said use one a day,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna do another one today. Like nothing, I'm
Speaker 1: I swear to god, nothing is working. And I know
Speaker 1: it's bad because like I'm dizzy, and I know I'm
Speaker 1: dizzy because the ship inside of my colon is fermenting
Speaker 1: and causing alcohol and I'm literally getting drunk off of
Speaker 1: my own fucking shit fumes like it's going straight to
Speaker 1: my fucking brain. Y'all.
Speaker 5: But if I was the jail, I would just hold
Speaker 5: my ship for a long time.
Speaker 1: No that I literally has the time, And like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I was praying. I was praying that I
Speaker 1: woke up covered in shit that like my bowels just
Speaker 1: released themselves while I was asleep last night so I
Speaker 1: could literally like have some fucking relief. Like I would
Speaker 1: have been so happy. I would have been doing like
Speaker 1: snow angels in my fucking turns in bed like new
Speaker 1: bed new bedding, like off.
Speaker 5: I don't think you would replace your mattresses.
Speaker 1: I would, I swear to God I would. I was,
Speaker 1: I swear. I was thinking about it last night. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my God, please, like I will, like
Speaker 1: I will buy a new two thousand dollars purple mattress,
Speaker 1: like please, because it like has those holes in it,
Speaker 1: and I was imagining it like seeking in and then
Speaker 1: there's that like white powder between every hole that it
Speaker 1: would have made like a paste it. I was like imagining, really.
Speaker 2: Wait because when you okay, this is so gross, but
Speaker 2: when you take that many lacks, it is is your
Speaker 2: poop just like liquid.
Speaker 5: It's just like liquid chip.
Speaker 1: I think it's supposed to draw water like it's they're stimulants,
Speaker 1: like stimulant laxatives, which are supposed to like draw water
Speaker 1: into your colon that like liquefies your shit, and they
Speaker 1: also cramp your like intestine so it like squeezes them out.
Speaker 1: But I'm pretty sure I just have a seized colon
Speaker 1: like I'm not kidding. I think I actually do need
Speaker 1: a fucking power which whatever they're called, a colostomy bag. Bitch,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, if I had a colostomy bag, it
Speaker 1: would be so over for y'all, because if you crossed me,
Speaker 1: I would take that shit off and like release the
Speaker 1: gas in the room like a fucking smoke bomb and
Speaker 1: like evacuate the room, like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: Well, I think and I understand that that is a
Speaker 2: medical necessity for some people. So what I'm about to
Speaker 2: say is not judging anybody who has that. But if
Speaker 2: Drew had that, I would be so fucking mad because
Speaker 2: I know you would bring it out everywhere.
Speaker 5: You would like I would show it out everyone.
Speaker 2: You would like literally talk about it all the time,
Speaker 2: and it would be your thing and you'd be like, oh,
Speaker 2: I just don't feel good today, Like I want to
Speaker 2: stay home so I can like empty.
Speaker 1: My bag if I had a colostomy bag. When I
Speaker 1: met Bella, how do you do? That's my girl? Like
Speaker 1: that's like one of my best friends. Like Bella, Hello,
Speaker 1: that's the first thing I would have shown her. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have shown her my colostomy bag. I would have
Speaker 1: like popped it out and been like, yeah, I'm strapped.
Speaker 3: Hell we are you gonna name it? When it finally
Speaker 3: comes by.
Speaker 1: Its name is Kai. It's because it looks like Hi.
Speaker 3: It doesn't look like me, a little coy Kai.
Speaker 1: The first thing he said to me was like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: like you're looking huge, Drew. He said you look pregnant.
Speaker 1: He said you look pregnant. He said you look pregnant,
Speaker 1: and I said.
Speaker 3: Well, I said he did look pregnant though, y'all.
Speaker 1: It's so bad. Like I am a I have a
Speaker 1: very keen eye on my belt, and I am four
Speaker 1: loops down when i'm not no, no, yeah, I'm four
Speaker 1: loops down when i'm normally three belt holds down. So
Speaker 1: I am so fucking massive and bloated with ship. I'm
Speaker 1: literally full of shit, Like I actually am full.
Speaker 2: Like I mean, we know, are you allowed to like
Speaker 2: go out tonight or like do anything.
Speaker 1: I'm praying that dancing at the brat concert like relieves
Speaker 1: some of the stress in my colin.
Speaker 5: Maybe all the like maybe all of the poppers in.
Speaker 2: The air will like, yeah, your hole and you'll just
Speaker 2: start shitting and like exploding ship.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that would actually be so iconic if.
Speaker 5: A girl at the K pop concert who herself?
Speaker 1: They put me on the big screen at the brat
Speaker 1: concert and I just spread whole and drop a joint.
Speaker 3: The spotlight going on Drew for the Apple Dance that's
Speaker 3: when it releases.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would love that.
Speaker 3: You know that film you're not seen in South Park
Speaker 3: where Randy like ships and it like lifts his body
Speaker 3: off the ground. Yeah, I want That's what I'm imagining.
Speaker 1: That's what I wanted. I'm really I am really terrified
Speaker 1: to pass this because like, really, what's gonna have to
Speaker 1: happen here is I'm gonna have to go to the
Speaker 1: hospital and the doctor's gonna have to finger the ship
Speaker 1: out of my fucking ass because I was gonna do it,
Speaker 1: but my nails are too long, and I was just like,
Speaker 1: I can't have ship under my nails. That's a thing.
Speaker 1: People have to do this like people. It's like a part.
Speaker 1: It's like a reality for a lot of people. And
Speaker 1: it's fucked up that you would sit here and make
Speaker 1: fun of me for my issues. I wish my body
Speaker 1: would work normally, I really do.
Speaker 3: I haven't moved fun of Drew once about the huge
Speaker 3: ship that's stuck inside of him.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like literally did the seconing you came in the house, but.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be like the substance or it comes out
Speaker 3: of your back, my back.
Speaker 2: No experiencing is your other you is taking all your
Speaker 2: spinal fluid, So it's fucking with your colon's If that's happening.
Speaker 1: To you, is the pretty sure.
Speaker 3: It's no.
Speaker 1: It's literally stealing my energy, y'all. Like I'm I'm nauseous
Speaker 1: all the time. My stomach is crazy in your stomach No,
Speaker 1: literally monster alistas sue bitch my like brain, I'm like
Speaker 1: actually shaking constantly for reasons that I won't explain because
Speaker 1: it's tm I, but I told any yesterday, like it's
Speaker 1: really fucked up. Okay, I'll explain because it's crazy, But bitch,
Speaker 1: it feels like I for the first time and like
Speaker 1: my legs are shaking like it's crazy. It's pressing up
Speaker 1: against my fucking You.
Speaker 2: Were like that's TMI, but I was like, oh, like
Speaker 2: I felt bad.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh that sucks. It is literally constantly
Speaker 1: being like age.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, well here's the thing. Now that I'm back
Speaker 3: from New York, I might make you laugh so hard
Speaker 3: you ship laughing and squirt laughing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that actually is you go to New York and
Speaker 2: get like a magical substance that like made you funny.
Speaker 3: No, I've always just I've always been this way. I've
Speaker 3: always been my jovial self.
Speaker 1: Kaya is funny? Kay.
Speaker 5: I don't know that I would describe jo you know.
Speaker 1: One time, No, it's silly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, One time I was at a table with
Speaker 2: somebody I like really respect and like I like, it's
Speaker 2: a peer of mind where I'm like, you are like amazing.
Speaker 2: And then I don't know what came over me, but
Speaker 2: we were all talking about the way we're perceived, and
Speaker 2: I was like, would you say I'm.
Speaker 5: A happy person? Like do you see me?
Speaker 2: Like? Cause we it's a person I don't see that often,
Speaker 2: but when I do, I make them laugh and like whatever.
Speaker 5: So I was like, do you see me as a
Speaker 5: happy person? And they were just like no, no, I
Speaker 5: don't think. They were like happy as a wrong word,
Speaker 5: not happy.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, but I'm not sad and
Speaker 2: they were like you're not sad, but you're something else.
Speaker 2: And then it was at a dinner table and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh okay, and then they were like, and
Speaker 2: you're not mean, but there's something like you're something I
Speaker 2: just don't know the word for you. And I was
Speaker 2: just like, Okay, this isn't fun anymore, Like I want
Speaker 2: to move on.
Speaker 1: I'm getting read to filth. Also, I realize that I
Speaker 1: have seven orders of wings Stop inside of my body
Speaker 1: right now, like, because that's the.
Speaker 5: Main thing is.
Speaker 2: All week he's been like, I can't shit, I can't shit,
Speaker 2: I can't shit. He's eating fucking wing Stop and Jack
Speaker 2: in the Box because I don't eat the Jack Drew
Speaker 2: loved Room wet tacos.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: Those are good, That's what I'm saying. He loves it
Speaker 2: so much. He loves the little fried.
Speaker 1: Now we go through and stuff like my order history,
Speaker 1: because we'll see we can see exactly what I eat.
Speaker 2: Jack in the box, wing Stop, wings Stop, Jack in
Speaker 2: the box, wing Stop, Jack in the Box, Jack in
Speaker 2: the Box, wing Stop, Jack in the Box, wing Stop,
Speaker 2: Jack in the Box, Jack in the Box, Jack in
Speaker 2: the Box.
Speaker 1: Simply salad, emphasis salad.
Speaker 5: He has to add a salad and almost a.
Speaker 1: Month simply salad.
Speaker 2: Hello. I can't even get on you though, because I
Speaker 2: was really and we need to move on, because we
Speaker 2: can't talk about food for another forty minutes, Like we
Speaker 2: need to fucking stop. But I don't eat fucking vegetables.
Speaker 2: I realized, like vegetables.
Speaker 3: Aren't I don't know what that was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, make a.
Speaker 3: Lot of the bomb that I brought to the podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, is about the fucking pipe bomb and blow us up.
Speaker 5: I wouldn't even give a fuck no if we died.
Speaker 3: I like why people say you're not happy.
Speaker 2: If I hurt if I heard a bomb start taking like,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm not running for my life, Like what
Speaker 2: like if you are right now, I'd be like fuck.
Speaker 2: I think my main concern would be a zool. I
Speaker 2: wouldn't want a zul to die.
Speaker 4: But I wouldn't be like no, I feel that.
Speaker 2: Because the idea of running away, like you know in
Speaker 2: movies when they're running away from a bomb and like
Speaker 2: they don't get far enough so they fly forward, Like
Speaker 2: imagining me do that, it's too embarrassing.
Speaker 5: I'd much rather just take it as late.
Speaker 3: I have like a similar thing, but I know that
Speaker 3: I would instinctually go to deactivate the bomb.
Speaker 1: Yeah thing, I would dive on the bomb exactly.
Speaker 5: I literally neither y'all's personality trade.
Speaker 1: No, I would dive on the bomb.
Speaker 2: You guys aren't serving like like, you guys aren't serving that.
Speaker 4: No, you're not the you drew a jump on it?
Speaker 3: Who curl around it? And then I would get in
Speaker 3: there and.
Speaker 5: Just start would block all of the explosion.
Speaker 1: He would walk away because it's as hard as a
Speaker 1: fucking like teflon.
Speaker 3: Like it's getting really hard in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's fermenting you. I'm dizzy constantly, Teflon devon
Speaker 1: tell fire purse Hello. Well no, no, no, I need to
Speaker 1: talk about bombs because we were talking about bombs. No.
Speaker 1: I used to go fishing with m eighties. I would
Speaker 1: throw When I was like nine and obsessed with fireworks,
Speaker 1: I would throw firecrackers into the river and explode in water.
Speaker 5: There needs to be.
Speaker 2: A designated CPS worker at every house of a Texan. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like there just needs to be a worker who checks
Speaker 2: in once a week to see if kids are doing.
Speaker 2: Because some of the ship you say you did as
Speaker 2: a kid, I'm like, who was around?
Speaker 1: It was fun? It was it was fun about it.
Speaker 1: We would laugh about it even like you really would.
Speaker 2: Well, I decided that I hate a big ass, ugly
Speaker 2: fucking mural. And I hate a bitch that records themselves
Speaker 2: doing an ugly ass mural and gets on I'm to
Speaker 2: boast about it. Actually, you're destroying the infrastructure of my
Speaker 2: fucking city.
Speaker 5: Get that funky ass, ugly fucking mural off of that wall.
Speaker 1: I what about a good mural.
Speaker 5: Oh well, good.
Speaker 2: Mural will like set me off. Like when I see
Speaker 2: a good mural, I'm like, oh, that's well. The Pink
Speaker 2: Wall is infinite, Like there's like that to me, is
Speaker 2: that's my infinite You.
Speaker 4: Know how crazy it's like the Pink Wall.
Speaker 1: I like, there's so much culture behind that Pink Wall,
Speaker 1: Like people don't like.
Speaker 5: They don't respect it the way they used to.
Speaker 2: Like there's no lines, there's no thousands of people gathering
Speaker 2: to it every day.
Speaker 5: I don't know what the replacement it's been.
Speaker 2: The replacement's been that one place where all the artists
Speaker 2: do their fucking pop ups for pick photo ops on Fairfax.
Speaker 5: Do you know what I'm talking about. There's like where
Speaker 5: the old Supreme was.
Speaker 2: I think it is, like they do pop ups now
Speaker 2: for like Olivia Rodrigo album or Sabrina Carpenter album. That's
Speaker 2: the new Pink wall, like I think guys are taking
Speaker 2: from the pink wall.
Speaker 3: I think my pink wall is like my call in.
Speaker 3: This is what I think we should do with the
Speaker 3: pink wall. We should see we should paint over it,
Speaker 3: have a huge QR code and then a bunch of
Speaker 3: different of like the top NFTs. I personally feel like
Speaker 3: that would be really cool.
Speaker 4: Still exists, Yeah, I think so?
Speaker 1: Wait seriously, yeah, I think people still trade them.
Speaker 5: That's like eating jacket.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know, though, Like that is ape is not
Speaker 1: like a crazy thing anymore.
Speaker 2: I can't believe that. I still think they're just money laundering.
Speaker 3: Is that the same one? Or did you get a
Speaker 3: new ape?
Speaker 5: No, it is the same one. It's been in the
Speaker 5: fridge for three years now.
Speaker 3: Gonna like his delusion is kicking anything. He's gonna sell
Speaker 3: that for one.
Speaker 2: Hundred Yeah, the Beanie baby, Like it's like the Beanie
Speaker 2: baby delusion.
Speaker 1: That will that in my No, that.
Speaker 2: Will be worth something because in the next ten years,
Speaker 2: climate change will evaporate all the on the planet. So
Speaker 2: that's why that will happen, not because of what's like
Speaker 2: on it. It's literally just the water itself.
Speaker 3: Don't make herd I have to Oh, I forgot, I
Speaker 3: have to set up kai cam stomach.
Speaker 1: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Speaker 5: What the are you doing?
Speaker 1: It's blocking me?
Speaker 3: No, No, it's just it'll be subtle.
Speaker 1: It's literally blocking me.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's a piece of so your ship tripod is
Speaker 2: a piece of broken.
Speaker 3: I guess it's broken.
Speaker 2: But honestly, it's so much better than it didn't work.
Speaker 1: Back down, sit down, sit with that.
Speaker 3: Three dollars.
Speaker 4: So I thought I would just say three dollars. No,
Speaker 4: it was I wanted.
Speaker 3: To have it where it's like blowing out. Yeah it's gone. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I figured. No, I think it's because I'm powering it
Speaker 3: from this. It's like fucked. But I'll just do a
Speaker 3: different episode.
Speaker 1: No, we're doing that. We're keeping all this.
Speaker 5: I know we're keeping it. Not working.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, the geomagnetic storm just happened, and for like
Speaker 1: the past like four days, I was like violently depressed.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't tell if it was because I have
Speaker 1: thirty pounds of shit, seven orders of wingstop inside of
Speaker 1: my body. Still, y'all really really think about that. I
Speaker 1: have whatever. I won't keep talking about it.
Speaker 4: I know I was.
Speaker 2: I was like how much longer can we talk about
Speaker 2: the literal shit in your butt?
Speaker 1: Like I could talk about it forever because it's literally
Speaker 1: the only interesting thing happening in my life right now.
Speaker 1: But I was like violently depressed, and I couldn't tell
Speaker 1: if it was because of the alcohol that's being made
Speaker 1: in my colon and I've just constantly been drunk, or
Speaker 1: if it's because I'm just like mentally and severely depressed.
Speaker 1: So then I looked up do geomagnetic storms cause depressions?
Speaker 1: Or I looked up like, uh, like symptoms of geomagnetic
Speaker 1: storms or some shit like that, and thirty seven point
Speaker 1: five percent of men that were servied in this like
Speaker 1: study said that like during a geomagnetic storm, know that
Speaker 1: they were like more depressed. And I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: so like I'm like, that's just like yo, I'm really
Speaker 1: grasping at straw. I really do think the geomagnetic storm
Speaker 1: depressed I think it really did press Saturday. No.
Speaker 2: I think what made us depressed was being in Big
Speaker 2: Sart and having the time of our life for three
Speaker 2: days and then coming back to LA and being like
Speaker 2: we're back here, like back to this apartment.
Speaker 3: Did you guys feel like you were in Big Little Lives.
Speaker 5: I've never seen that watching that.
Speaker 1: Bunk Ash show.
Speaker 4: Wait, why I do know I.
Speaker 5: Need to watch it. But I'm watching Nurse Jackie right
Speaker 5: now and I've hit a lull so.
Speaker 4: Bad, gosh, it's really good.
Speaker 3: Breaking bad I heard is like good. I heard that.
Speaker 4: That's like a good Have you seen it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've seen it.
Speaker 2: I was rewatching it with Josh and I was like, damn,
Speaker 2: this show is so good, like this is crazy. It's
Speaker 2: like I think it's the easiest show to binge watch
Speaker 2: on the planet because rewatching it with him yesterday, we
Speaker 2: watched like three episodes when I wanted to go to
Speaker 2: bed early, but I couldn't walk away from the TV
Speaker 2: even though I knew everything that was happening, but I
Speaker 2: was having one of those moments where I would like
Speaker 2: put the pieces together and remember what was happening next,
Speaker 2: and literally just sitting there in peer anxiety like oh
Speaker 2: my god, like literally.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel watching Nurse Jackie.
Speaker 2: That's how I feel watching you live your life. I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, like this idiot, stupid person.
Speaker 1: You really do think I'm stupid? Just wait, though, just wait, wait,
Speaker 1: I'll fucking kill everybody in here.
Speaker 5: I don't think that'll make you smart.
Speaker 1: I'll kill everybody in this fucking room.
Speaker 2: Well, last night I was thinking about it, and I
Speaker 2: just don't think I have the kind of life where
Speaker 2: like I was watching a Fortnite clip and this kid
Speaker 2: was like, let me lock in, and he went crazy
Speaker 2: during this match and like saved everybody, and I was
Speaker 2: thinking about it and I was like, damn, I just
Speaker 2: don't live the kind of life where I would ever
Speaker 2: be able to say I'm gonna lock in and successfully
Speaker 2: lock in. Like, for me, locking in is being too
Speaker 2: drunk at a party and a photographer comes by and
Speaker 2: I have to try to act like I'm not fucking waste.
Speaker 1: That's like that's locking in to me.
Speaker 2: But that's the only time I'm not locking in where
Speaker 2: I'm like sitting down to write and I'm like, hold on,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna lock in and like go crazy.
Speaker 5: It's literally my locking in is.
Speaker 1: That when I'm drinking and driving and a cop pulls
Speaker 1: me over. Oh bitch, I am locking the fuck And
Speaker 1: I still haven't been arrested to this day. I've been
Speaker 1: pulled over five times drunk. They haven't got my ass.
Speaker 2: And if I found out you were one a serial,
Speaker 2: like the serial saking behind my back, that alone would
Speaker 2: send me somewhere dark and deep in my brain.
Speaker 5: Second of all, if imagining you drunk driving around like
Speaker 5: you can't even drive like sober, you're like a bad driver.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, sometimes I did turned down a one way when
Speaker 1: I first moved to La I turned down a one
Speaker 1: way and I didn't drive for like seven months.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he almost killed all of us in the car.
Speaker 2: And then instead of like getting us out of the situation,
Speaker 2: he pulled over on the one way and made me
Speaker 2: get in the car and fix it.
Speaker 5: And I did.
Speaker 1: I panicked.
Speaker 5: I'm a champion.
Speaker 1: I panicked. Wingstop is canceled. Take a shot every Take
Speaker 1: a shot of Drew's fermented alcohol. Shit every time I
Speaker 1: say wingstop In this episode, Wingstop is over?
Speaker 3: Is this a real thing that you're sighting? Like? No,
Speaker 3: get drunk, okay.
Speaker 1: Taking it up? It could be real, though, I do
Speaker 1: know what ferman.
Speaker 3: It's not.
Speaker 1: No, I know it does ferment. It makes people gassy,
Speaker 1: and that's why I bloat.
Speaker 3: Have you been farting crazy?
Speaker 1: No, that's a scary thing is today. I haven't been
Speaker 1: farting runs.
Speaker 5: To the bathroom.
Speaker 2: And what's fucked up is we only have one bathroom
Speaker 2: in the apartment, so like we have one good bathroom
Speaker 2: and then the bathroom that we referred to the boiler room, and.
Speaker 1: Literally on Elm Street, boiler room under the fucking school.
Speaker 2: It's literally just a pile of all my dirty clothes
Speaker 2: and a basket full of half clean clothes that we
Speaker 2: all have to like climb over to get to this
Speaker 2: toilet in the corner, and the toilet's all fucked up
Speaker 2: and nasty, and we hate that bathroom.
Speaker 5: But Drew's been taking the main.
Speaker 1: Bath Fucking dude that broke into the house shaved his
Speaker 1: pubes in there and left dark sided energies. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: we did dry shaved his pubes into my fucking shower.
Speaker 1: We have not used it since.
Speaker 5: Yeah, No, we literally uses a storage you.
Speaker 1: Fucking scabies and hepatitis b on the floor.
Speaker 2: Drew has been taking the good bathroom and it's like
Speaker 2: so annoying because every time he goes in there, I'm
Speaker 2: just like, fuck he, Like, if he does shit, that
Speaker 2: bathroom is gonna be like a no contact that would
Speaker 2: be in the.
Speaker 4: Next three hours.
Speaker 2: It like when you said you had done everything you
Speaker 2: did in the bathroom. But I went in there after
Speaker 2: I literally like I felt something in the atmosphere like
Speaker 2: it felt like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like I felt like a ghostly, like.
Speaker 2: New radioactive shit environment in there, and I was really
Speaker 2: scared to.
Speaker 5: Be in there.
Speaker 1: Nothing came out, So it's okay, it's still sick.
Speaker 2: I feel like me and Drew Josh are both gonna
Speaker 2: get pink eye after you.
Speaker 1: Finally, I pray. I pray so y'all can feel a
Speaker 1: little bit of the pain that I'm suffering. But wing
Speaker 1: Stop is over. Wing Stop is over, y'all. I ordered
Speaker 1: Wingstop three four nights ago, three nights ago, four nights ago,
Speaker 1: three nights ago, and I really was just so excited
Speaker 1: for the ranch. I was so fucking excited for you
Speaker 1: night too. It was a great night and we were
Speaker 1: watching The Bride of Chucky and I was gonna lay
Speaker 1: on in you his floor and eat my wing Stop
Speaker 1: with my ranch. And I ordered three ranches this time
Speaker 1: because I was like, Oh, I'm gonna go crazy with
Speaker 1: the ranch behind you.
Speaker 5: He hasn't shipped for a week at this point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, bitch, they haven't. They They gave me blue cheese
Speaker 1: if you are a blue cheese enjoyer. I genuinely I'm
Speaker 1: not joking, and I'm sorry if this is problematic. I
Speaker 1: hope you fucking die, Like I really, I really do
Speaker 1: hope you have, like like, never mind, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: go that far, but die, bitch, bitch. They gave me
Speaker 1: three cans of blue cheese, and I was I almost
Speaker 1: fucking vomited at the flate.
Speaker 2: It's like, actually, since you didn't point out it was
Speaker 2: blue cheese, my high ass would not have.
Speaker 5: I was fucking that ship.
Speaker 2: I was like, I didn't get me stop that night,
Speaker 2: but he did and he got enough so I could
Speaker 2: have some, and I was like sitting there eating it.
Speaker 5: And then he goes and eats and he's like, that's
Speaker 5: blue cheese.
Speaker 2: And then I got really insecure because I was fucking
Speaker 2: that shit up and I go, oh my god.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah it is blue cheese. Oh, like I hate that.
Speaker 5: And then I just put it back.
Speaker 2: But later on in the night when you weren't using it,
Speaker 2: I like went over and I started like eating all there.
Speaker 1: The monster. I hope it fucking died, bitch. Oh my god, blue.
Speaker 5: Cheese is good really, just like super funk.
Speaker 3: That shit smells disgusting to me.
Speaker 1: It literally smells like fucking toe funk.
Speaker 5: But the best cheese smells funky.
Speaker 1: Okay, but so I The cheese my.
Speaker 2: Grandma brings from Honduras smells crazy, but it's but that's different.
Speaker 1: That's like good cheese. But that's like a foreskin cheese.
Speaker 1: Let me get a little bit of that on my wingstop. Okai,
Speaker 1: do you hear what? John Tom dead way to hay
Speaker 1: me buzzy. But I ordered that fucking ranch, didn't get it.
Speaker 1: So I really didn't eat any of my Wingstop because like,
Speaker 1: how the fuck are you supposed to eat wingstop without ranch?
Speaker 1: So the next night I had like ten pounds of
Speaker 1: wingstop and I was like, you know what, like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be freaky and I'm gonna order a tub of
Speaker 1: ranch and that's it from Wingstop because there's no way
Speaker 1: they can fuck that up. There's literally no way they
Speaker 1: can fuck up because they don't sell a tub of
Speaker 1: fucking blue cheese because you're a fucking monster freak. If
Speaker 1: you order that, they only sell a tub of ranch.
Speaker 1: So I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get that a
Speaker 1: cup of ranch. Well, I did a double stop because
Speaker 1: I also wanted a soda, and I was.
Speaker 5: Like, I don't know why you didn't just get a soda.
Speaker 4: From wing Step.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't either, but I didn't want them to
Speaker 1: fuck my order up, and I wanted a vanilla coke
Speaker 1: and I was being really lazy, and I can recognize
Speaker 1: that I should have just gone and got this ship.
Speaker 1: I know, don't fucking talk shit about me. But I
Speaker 1: ordered a tub of ranch and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: like I'm about to feast tonight. I'm really about to feast, bitch.
Speaker 1: They only dropped off my fucking vanilla coke. They didn't
Speaker 1: even go to wing stuff. They charged me the money
Speaker 1: for the wing stop and the tip, and they didn't
Speaker 1: go to fucking wing stop and they didn't give me
Speaker 1: my fucking ranch. Oh my god, I near how to
Speaker 1: conniption fit, Like I really almost had, Like I almost Did.
Speaker 5: You eat it with QP Mayo?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: No, you ain't wing stop with QP Mayo?
Speaker 2: No, I fucking I need to insert this picture the
Speaker 2: amount of QP Mayo Drew eats and he's like, why
Speaker 2: am I constipated?
Speaker 5: Bitch? Nobody should have this much fucking make.
Speaker 1: The pumpkin seeds. It's the pumpkin seeds. Where it's the
Speaker 1: pumpkin seeds.
Speaker 5: No, look at this, fucking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually am declining very rapidly.
Speaker 3: Oh no, that's disgusting.
Speaker 1: No, y'all don't understand. Keep Mayo.
Speaker 5: Frugal because we were all watching because.
Speaker 2: I was so embarrassed, watched Drew squirt like literally half
Speaker 2: a cup of mayo onto a burger before he ate it.
Speaker 2: And then the next day when we brought it up,
Speaker 2: he was like, that was me being frugal because you
Speaker 2: guys were all up in.
Speaker 1: My business because I knew they were gonna talk shit
Speaker 1: about me, and I was right. Had they seen brugal,
Speaker 1: had they seen the real side of my CuPy mao addiction,
Speaker 1: I think y'all would have put me in rehab because
Speaker 1: it's really dark sided. I bought like the bottles the
Speaker 1: other day.
Speaker 3: Is that the one that comes in like the bowling pin?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that shit's good.
Speaker 5: Honestly, it is really good, but like.
Speaker 3: You can't put too much. You can't be too decadent
Speaker 3: with it.
Speaker 1: Oh I can't.
Speaker 2: The bitches who get like crazy with the caviar. Caviar
Speaker 2: is still the biggest I'm ever.
Speaker 1: Like, it's fucking nasty.
Speaker 5: You are literally paying that much for.
Speaker 1: You're eating fucking sperm.
Speaker 2: Bitch, it's literally like fish coomb de law, Like it's
Speaker 2: fucking nasty. Like you're fucking gross and you're weird at fuck. Also, like, bitch,
Speaker 2: I don't want some shit that I have to eat
Speaker 2: off of, like a non metal spoon.
Speaker 1: I don't want some ship that comes out of a
Speaker 1: fish pussy. Actually I do.
Speaker 5: Have you had caviar?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't seem like somebody who's had caviar.
Speaker 1: I like the cream and the potato chip, but like
Speaker 1: the caviar that comes with it. I'm like, girl, like,
Speaker 1: what's this.
Speaker 5: Dude, I can't say a caviar.
Speaker 2: I also can't stand oysters anymore. But you order oysters
Speaker 2: to my fucking table.
Speaker 3: I'm throwing up everywhere oysters because they're an afrodisiac.
Speaker 2: Well, I used to love oysters, but I've been reclaimed
Speaker 2: by God.
Speaker 3: I like oysters because they're the perfect thing to serve
Speaker 3: at a sex party.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say I don't like them.
Speaker 5: You would not get invited to a party like that.
Speaker 3: Actually, I get invited to sex parties all the time.
Speaker 3: I turn I turned them down, though he does.
Speaker 1: I don't like oysters because I might die if I
Speaker 1: eat them. Oh true, Like I'm so sorry. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't get the experience diet. Yeah, I don't get the
Speaker 1: experience like the earthly pleasures you'all do, because it's so sad.
Speaker 1: I will go into anaphlectic shock, well up and die.
Speaker 5: Just try it.
Speaker 1: I thought about it, but I really do need an
Speaker 1: EpiPen for me to like feel comfortable.
Speaker 5: You need to go get tested.
Speaker 1: I know, I really do, because that was scary. And
Speaker 1: it's crazy that I just like roam around not knowing.
Speaker 1: But I think it could have just been a one
Speaker 1: off event. But I'm not trying it out.
Speaker 2: I used to love oysters, but Drew has a candle
Speaker 2: that smells like oysters, and I was sitting in his
Speaker 2: room one time watching a girl on TikTok eat oysters.
Speaker 2: I was like, damn, oyster sounds so good. But then
Speaker 2: I smelled Drew's candle, and I'm not kidding. It changed
Speaker 2: my perception of oysters forever. Like now, for the past
Speaker 2: year and a half, oysters make me fucking sick.
Speaker 5: They're nasty.
Speaker 1: I love Enya's oyster my clam.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my clam chowder.
Speaker 1: Her clam with tuna tartar, her steam giant clam.
Speaker 2: Y'all telling that, y'all call my kucci like a tuna box.
Speaker 2: And I was telling somebody that recently, I think it
Speaker 2: might have been raining terror.
Speaker 5: I was like, that's what they call me. They call
Speaker 5: me tuna box.
Speaker 2: And they were like, that is so fucked up, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I was like laughing, and I was like, no,
Speaker 2: it's kind of funny.
Speaker 5: And then they were like, that's crazy. They call you
Speaker 5: tuna box. You let them call you tuna box.
Speaker 4: And I was like, will you are?
Speaker 1: You are a tuna box and you own it now?
Speaker 5: Like I have to you guys won't stop saying it
Speaker 5: to me.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I'll shut the fuck up. Andy and
Speaker 1: I have been fighting all week long, y'all. Like, if
Speaker 1: there's like a sinister energy, it's because me and you
Speaker 1: have been beefing. And it's one because I've been flushing
Speaker 1: the fucking toilet after I use the bathroom. She gets
Speaker 1: really fucking pissed about that because she wants to go
Speaker 1: and eat.
Speaker 5: I need some I can tell them. I'm like, you
Speaker 5: keep peeing and flushing. I need that.
Speaker 1: Also. I locked the door when I was showering, and
Speaker 1: she actually got upset.
Speaker 3: She was like, watch it toxic.
Speaker 5: It's toxic that he's locking the door on.
Speaker 3: You need to Respectrew's boundaries.
Speaker 5: White literally locking me out of his life.
Speaker 1: Kay, you don't know shit about my thought.
Speaker 5: No, you don't know our fucking dynamic.
Speaker 3: I'm literally trying to help you. You know, this is
Speaker 3: why you're fucked dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the idea of you jumping up that fastest, smiling
Speaker 2: fastest I've ever seen somebody get.
Speaker 1: Up like smiling about it too.
Speaker 2: It's crazy how much mobility you have with seven pounds
Speaker 2: of shit in you.
Speaker 1: Oh, what's crazy? I'm not joking. I was at the
Speaker 1: gym and I was waite you faster.
Speaker 5: It's like pushing the like gravity is holding it.
Speaker 1: It's my center of gravity is y'all. I was at
Speaker 1: the gym and I've been really trying hard to put
Speaker 1: on weight, like muscle. And I was at the gym
Speaker 1: like a few days ago, and I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: I'm like fucking five pounds heavier. Like, yes, I'm like
Speaker 1: putting on weight, bitch. It's because I have like already
Speaker 1: pounds of ship inside of me.
Speaker 3: Y'all.
Speaker 1: I swear to God, I'm not eating like I don't
Speaker 1: give a fuck if it makes me anorexic. I literally
Speaker 1: swear to God, I'm not eating where shit comes out.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2: Every time I see you eating, I'm like, where is
Speaker 2: that gonna go?
Speaker 1: I think it's undigested in my stomach right now, I like,
Speaker 1: keep burping.
Speaker 3: True, do you think this is the most stuff you've
Speaker 3: ever been?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Kay?
Speaker 1: You filled me a little more, yo.
Speaker 5: Y'all are disgusting. Y'all are repulsive.
Speaker 2: Also, y'all are gluttonous, disgusting, repulsive, evil.
Speaker 1: Sinister, sinister, y'all, I found out. I found out sinister
Speaker 1: translate to like left handed, apparently, and it's because they
Speaker 1: thought left handed people like, we're closer to the devil
Speaker 1: left handed people. Actually, Yeah, I hate if you're left handed, bitch,
Speaker 1: I hate you.
Speaker 5: And if you're ambidextrous, you're the devil.
Speaker 3: We need to start burning witches again so that I
Speaker 3: can save them, so I can stop it.
Speaker 2: Your would burn faster hair, I'm gonna pull if your
Speaker 2: head blowed because of all the gas ish like shit
Speaker 2: in your belly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it would be new.
Speaker 2: It'd be like if somebody put like a propanees hank
Speaker 2: on like a pile of manure.
Speaker 5: That's what your body was.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna pull that fucking wig off your head.
Speaker 5: Leave it. Okay, it's not a wig.
Speaker 1: It's a wig, y'all. I'm not wearing wearing a wig
Speaker 1: for the last decade.
Speaker 5: Why do you have to bring that up, bro, It's
Speaker 5: like so because.
Speaker 1: You're fucking bald, bitch.
Speaker 5: Okay, Like, okay, seriously, you write that down. We're gonna
Speaker 5: cut that.
Speaker 1: You're bald and scary and it's okay. Sorry, Well, diet coke, y'all,
Speaker 1: we really have to have an actual, a real conversation.
Speaker 2: Diet coke to me, tastes like if I left the
Speaker 2: gas running on the stove and all of the fumes
Speaker 2: got to my brain and then I picked up a
Speaker 2: coke to drink it.
Speaker 1: That's what I think my nose like, literally, yo, fuck
Speaker 1: Helen Keller, bitch. Helen Keller is not real. I swear
Speaker 1: to God, I actually don't think she was real.
Speaker 4: I don't either, like she's.
Speaker 1: She's off number one bitch. If I see Helen Keller,
Speaker 1: it's fucking on site.
Speaker 3: She was real and she probably would have been.
Speaker 5: Like write a book.
Speaker 1: How would she have been a fan of emergency? In
Speaker 1: her comb? She was death and blind, Like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if if you prefer diet coke, actually no, if
Speaker 2: you go to a restaurant with me and you have
Speaker 2: the fucking goal to order a diet coke after I
Speaker 2: order real coke, and then when it comes to the table,
Speaker 2: we have to do that weird thing where there's a possibility.
Speaker 1: That you taste it.
Speaker 2: Yo, that happened last night in it genuinely set me
Speaker 2: down a like tunnel of rage. I was so mad
Speaker 2: and I was looking around at everyone's cup and I
Speaker 2: was like, did you get diet coke?
Speaker 5: Did you? Is that what you ordered? Is that real coke?
Speaker 5: Try it again? And then the person I was talking
Speaker 5: to was like, oh, I don't know if this is
Speaker 5: real coke or not.
Speaker 2: Tyrell he was like, oh, I don't know if this
Speaker 2: is real coke or diet coke.
Speaker 5: And in my head I was like, why the.
Speaker 1: Fuck are you ordering diet You can't different hanceld y'all
Speaker 1: like you're over Also, like I really do truly think
Speaker 1: diet coke set women back at least thirty years, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding, like it what it's done to like girls,
Speaker 1: like it's really over.
Speaker 2: They fucking like twenty three grams of sugar. Calm the
Speaker 2: fuck down. Like that shit literally tastes like fucking asbestos.
Speaker 2: That diet coke. To me tastes like if nobody knew
Speaker 2: I was home and the house had to be fumigated
Speaker 2: for fucking termites and I was locked in the.
Speaker 1: Closet, Like no, it really does, Okay, it literally tastes
Speaker 1: like fucking blood cloths.
Speaker 3: You know what I like is just like cold water
Speaker 3: with lemon in it.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I like? When you shut the
Speaker 1: fuck up.
Speaker 4: Sorry, Actually, if.
Speaker 2: You like water like cold water with the fruit sitting
Speaker 2: in it, bitch, go fucking die am Like, I oh,
Speaker 2: I can't stand that.
Speaker 5: Like people are like.
Speaker 1: Oh my, got lemon on the side, fancy when.
Speaker 5: You go in the water is like full of shit.
Speaker 1: It's literally lemon pole Like it's.
Speaker 5: Literally like it is contaminated.
Speaker 3: The worst is cucumber. Yeah, I feel like it tastes
Speaker 3: like Vomit.
Speaker 4: Literally tastes like stomach bole.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I was about to say when they put lemons limes
Speaker 1: and like oranges in the water when you like go
Speaker 1: to a hotel, Bitch. It literally tastes like I just
Speaker 1: threw up and I didn't brush my teeth, and I
Speaker 1: just slept with it. And I woke up the next
Speaker 1: day and tasted my breath like that's literally what water
Speaker 1: with oranges and it tastes like, bitch, have you seen
Speaker 1: that picture of banana water? I actually want to try
Speaker 1: a banana water. I feel like it might be nice.
Speaker 1: I feel like banana water.
Speaker 5: I don't know if banana banana water is kind of nice, is.
Speaker 2: Like juicy enough to like it?
Speaker 3: It's good. I had it at a poke shop.
Speaker 5: At a poke shop, we're Sweetinah. They do banana water.
Speaker 3: They did, Honestly.
Speaker 5: It was when they're and.
Speaker 2: Like literally shoot the fucking glass so it explodes like
Speaker 2: an a quaer.
Speaker 3: Banana water is good. It was like a nice little surprise.
Speaker 5: I fucking hate contaminated water, bitch.
Speaker 2: And if you're the kind of bitch who has to
Speaker 2: fucking drink water with those little squirrels, you need to
Speaker 2: fucking die.
Speaker 5: Natural selection is fucking coming for you. What is gonna
Speaker 5: happen when TIMU isn't making that shit for you anymore.
Speaker 1: Still water like drinking water. It's like still water.
Speaker 5: Is that?
Speaker 3: Like you know what I love? I love cold water,
Speaker 3: And just like a handful of almonds and then I'm
Speaker 3: just like good for the rest of the day.
Speaker 5: Almonds is wood.
Speaker 1: Fuck.
Speaker 2: Ryan told me I'm gonna tell her story actually because
Speaker 2: it's so funny. O'Ryan's really sick right now, and I'm
Speaker 2: an angel. So I went and saw her and brought
Speaker 2: her soup and stuff because I'm an angel. And when
Speaker 2: I saw her, she before I left, she was like,
Speaker 2: I have to tell you about this fucking nightmare I
Speaker 2: had last night. So she's going in and she was like,
Speaker 2: to preface this, you don't have Twitter, so I have
Speaker 2: to explain this to you.
Speaker 5: She saw a tweet that.
Speaker 2: It was literally just almond is wood, and she thought
Speaker 2: it was really funny because it was like a picture
Speaker 2: of an almond, and all the replies were like, damn,
Speaker 2: almonds are just like if you look at them in
Speaker 2: the texture of them, like it just tastes like you're
Speaker 2: eating fucking wood. Somehow, that tweet like infected her brain.
Speaker 2: In her dream, she was at her friend's house who
Speaker 2: had a nut allergy and when she opened the fridge,
Speaker 2: her friend's mom was like, did you bring nuts in
Speaker 2: this house? And Orion said, she just turned to the
Speaker 2: mom and went, almond is wood. And in the dream
Speaker 2: that like solved everything and like nobody was scared of
Speaker 2: the nuts any more. But yeah, almonds would I didn't
Speaker 2: thinking about that last night at the jazz night. I
Speaker 2: had almonds on my charcuterie board. Bitch, if you give
Speaker 2: me a charcuterie board, and the salami slices are big ass,
Speaker 2: fucking deadly slices for a sandwich. I'm going in the
Speaker 2: kitchen and I'm stabbing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, chefs, that's not very.
Speaker 2: WHOA thirty is hitting you like a train. Thirty is
Speaker 2: running a train on your brain? Right.
Speaker 1: Speaking of trains, I want to go on the Amtrak
Speaker 1: across America. I feel like it would be very grounding
Speaker 1: for me to see that would be people, Yeah, just
Speaker 1: like look around and just see everybody. Like I feel
Speaker 1: like it would be like a very sweet moment.
Speaker 3: Have you seen that train in Japan where the seats
Speaker 3: like face the window and you can just look at
Speaker 3: the beautiful.
Speaker 5: There's some Amtrak carts that have that too.
Speaker 1: It's like they look like a greenhouses or like, yeah, it's.
Speaker 5: Like a folly.
Speaker 3: I love being on a train and just like reading
Speaker 3: a book.
Speaker 1: It's like like looking out of the window.
Speaker 5: The thing is, I get really carsick, So I could
Speaker 5: never do that. I would like actually throw up because.
Speaker 2: Anytime in the car and I look at my phone
Speaker 2: for two seconds, it literally feels like somebody flashbanged me,
Speaker 2: and I'm like i'd close my phone and I'm like
Speaker 2: like moving like it feels like a shadow of me
Speaker 2: is like moving back and forth, like I'm literally like
Speaker 2: blurring through the window and I have to look outside
Speaker 2: and back to reality.
Speaker 3: He keeps clutching the baby.
Speaker 1: Natural selection, is it kicking? Yes?
Speaker 5: Wait, carsickness, Loki is natural selection?
Speaker 2: Like I just wasn't supposed to make it, Like I
Speaker 2: wasn't supposed to be born in a time with car.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't adapt, you're failing.
Speaker 2: Also, what, bitch, do you know how long it took
Speaker 2: to travel across the country via horse?
Speaker 5: I think I said this.
Speaker 1: It's like months?
Speaker 5: Six months? Yeah, really I don't want to go any Wait,
Speaker 5: are you.
Speaker 4: Kids that bad?
Speaker 3: I should have been two months?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Six no, because like once they hit like the mountainous area, like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it took it.
Speaker 5: It's actually really smart too. I looked it up.
Speaker 2: I looked it up because I was just like, it's
Speaker 2: crazy that I wouldn't buy my own regard drive across
Speaker 2: the country, like it's something that's on my bucket list
Speaker 2: I want to do at one point in my life.
Speaker 2: But every time I've gotten here that I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 2: that takes too fucking long, Like I don't want to
Speaker 2: do that. It sounds like a nightmare. People were dying
Speaker 2: traveling by horse across the fucking country, and it is
Speaker 2: because they were like, I want.
Speaker 5: To see the new city. There's a new city across
Speaker 5: the world. First of all, y'all didn't even have pictures,
Speaker 5: So what the fuck were you going to.
Speaker 1: A lot of people were like a lot of people
Speaker 1: European like immigrants that were like, oh, I want to
Speaker 1: go to like the gold.
Speaker 5: Mines, so fucking home, that's where you should.
Speaker 1: Have no literally literally go back to where you came,
Speaker 1: Like literally, bitch.
Speaker 5: That is how I feel about like European people. I'm like,
Speaker 5: go back to where you were supposed to go.
Speaker 2: Like what I was gonna say about traveling by horse
Speaker 2: is humans are actually so smart because if you were
Speaker 2: traveling from like like Seattle to New York or like
Speaker 2: Seattle to Florida, what they would do is they would
Speaker 2: start heading that way at the beginning of fall, so
Speaker 2: that it was like cooler temperatures, and like since they're
Speaker 2: going south, they're getting like it's getting cooler in the south,
Speaker 2: so they don't have to like be through any like
Speaker 2: extreme heats or anything, so they could keep it within
Speaker 2: the range of like it being seventy degrees.
Speaker 1: No way, we all fucking.
Speaker 2: Wait, does everybody know that? I was like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: like actually stupid, no, because when I saw that, I
Speaker 2: literally was.
Speaker 5: Like, wow, people, I would have a lot about that ship.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, bro, it's a nice day out today,
Speaker 2: Like I'm my fucking trek.
Speaker 5: And I'd fucking die.
Speaker 2: Me and my horse would be like on the ground
Speaker 2: like a family guy character like.
Speaker 4: In the Eat.
Speaker 5: But you can't do that anymore now because of climate change.
Speaker 2: You would literally like perish because every state would have
Speaker 2: like a different temperature throughout the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how hot did it used to be back then?
Speaker 1: Because they were being like fucking badgies and pussies because
Speaker 1: like every time I'm literally like like ninety degrees to
Speaker 1: me is like a good day. I'm like, that's like
Speaker 1: a like a really really good day. And then I
Speaker 1: hear like local Californians be like that is so hot,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you're a.
Speaker 5: Fucking you're from like nasty Texas.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's not. Nasty Texas is iconic, like like
Speaker 1: it gave up.
Speaker 5: Someone from Florida being like nasty Texas.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, when we went to Texas, you're like, Hi,
Speaker 3: this is it and it's just like a hell of
Speaker 3: freeways and McDonald's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really like great, it's really cool.
Speaker 3: I was expecting to be like Friday night lights or
Speaker 3: would be like football players going through some sort of
Speaker 3: emotional art.
Speaker 1: It's not very green.
Speaker 5: It's like dead.
Speaker 1: It's always there.
Speaker 2: I always imagine it being way greener, like where you
Speaker 2: came from. Bitch, that ship is breaking bad town, Like, no.
Speaker 1: It's dead. It's scary. Yeah, shut up, what the fuck
Speaker 1: is your fucking issue?
Speaker 3: Tell him to shut up?
Speaker 5: Thank you, don't tell me not to tell him to
Speaker 5: shut up.
Speaker 1: I don't tell her to shut up, yep. But that's
Speaker 1: like you can't yell at him.
Speaker 5: That's like he's ah, he's a freak.
Speaker 1: I don't know that.
Speaker 5: Got a different girl every day of the week.
Speaker 1: You know, I've never heard that.
Speaker 5: I gotta let you know that I got a crush
Speaker 5: on you. Do Do Don't Doom? How do you not
Speaker 5: know that song?
Speaker 1: I know that's the beat. You just I thought I
Speaker 1: just renew the lyrics. You literally just did that doing it.
Speaker 5: It's fucking little cambra.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, I've never heard this.
Speaker 5: You've never heard that.
Speaker 3: I've heard it on you.
Speaker 5: Your whiteness is blinding and you shut the fuck off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, and you're stupid fucking wig. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna rip that ship off your fucking head.
Speaker 2: You need to like actually stop mentioning it because nobody
Speaker 2: has like peeped that yet, Like nobody knows yet.
Speaker 1: I mean, everybody knows now. Your wig, your stupid wig.
Speaker 5: Got that. I don't have a fucking wig on.
Speaker 1: Halloween episode soon.
Speaker 5: Y'all are not ready for my cost.
Speaker 1: Dude, mine sucks so bad this year, y'all, I'll face
Speaker 1: the music.
Speaker 3: Guys, what should I be? I want to be crazy
Speaker 3: and dress up this year and have fun, and you
Speaker 3: should be this fart that should be a fart yeah.
Speaker 5: You should go get this up.
Speaker 4: You should be a better version of yourself. Okay, you
Speaker 4: should be, but that would.
Speaker 5: Be hardest costume for you to ever put.
Speaker 1: Very heard inside my butt he is that he's.
Speaker 5: Already got your costume on and everything already. I get
Speaker 5: the smell.
Speaker 1: I have a few good ideas that I'll send you.
Speaker 3: Okay, please, because I do want to, like finally for
Speaker 3: the first time, dress up and have fun and have
Speaker 3: and be the life of the party, you know, because
Speaker 3: usually I'm just like a side character.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I don't want to go to a party.
Speaker 1: Ever, Yeah, I don't think I want to either, Like
Speaker 1: I don't want to go. Hopefully I'm not here for Halloween.
Speaker 1: That would be iconic if I'm not on this earth anymore.
Speaker 1: Who the fuck soli lobster and thought like I want
Speaker 1: to eat that?
Speaker 5: Like actually, it had to have been like an accident.
Speaker 2: Somebody had to have squeezhed a lobster and like be like,
Speaker 2: oh fuck, there's meat in there, Like oh my god,
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna eat that, yeah.
Speaker 1: Because it was like peasant food. At one point. It
Speaker 1: was yeah, like all shellfish were like peasants, and then
Speaker 1: they like rebrain Also, diems are not worth what they
Speaker 1: say they're worth. They're all fucking lab grown now, like
Speaker 1: they're just really good at it.
Speaker 2: I just never understood diamonds like chill, Like literally just chill.
Speaker 2: It's a fucking rock, Like I just don't. I don't
Speaker 2: understand the value of it. Like I know it's because
Speaker 2: of like mining and like, but like I'm like, no, you're.
Speaker 1: Enlightened, like they're they're really worth like absolutely nothing at
Speaker 1: this point.
Speaker 5: Even gold sometimes, like I I like love gold.
Speaker 1: I love gold.
Speaker 2: I like gold for the family aspect of it, like
Speaker 2: a lot of the jewelry I have, like I've gotten
Speaker 2: gifted from my family, it's been passed down.
Speaker 5: I like it for that aspect. Ho, I'm not buying
Speaker 5: a new piece of gold fucking jewelry, are you on meth?
Speaker 5: Like I want my shit.
Speaker 2: Used and abused from a pawn shop, Like I don't
Speaker 2: want some new shit. Also because all of y'all are
Speaker 2: plating fucking brass knuckles, like I don't want that shit,
Speaker 2: Fuck you, I want brass knuckles. I'm gonna beat the
Speaker 2: fuck out of Kai with it. Actually, I'm gonna get
Speaker 2: brass knuckles with my name, like instead of it being spiky,
Speaker 2: It's gonna be my name like Rais so I can
Speaker 2: fucking hit people and like my name's imprinted and my.
Speaker 3: Teeth fucking fly out and I'm like scrambling to pick
Speaker 3: them up and I'm trying to put them back in
Speaker 3: my mouth and I'm like pissing all over myself and
Speaker 3: it sounds fucking RANTI talking about I'm adding to your
Speaker 3: bit about like beating me up and stuff, and I'm
Speaker 3: eating this.
Speaker 5: An't get it twisted.
Speaker 1: Neon Green B twelve you're in.
Speaker 5: Is that like brat Like?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, my pisses brad coated. After I take the
Speaker 1: confidence all.
Speaker 5: Of you hoes going to that culture. I know your
Speaker 5: pisses Brat Green.
Speaker 1: I know, I know your Kudar bronze and is Brat
Speaker 1: Green like with the fucking dishcharge bitch.
Speaker 5: Like I almost said something so disgusting. I guess you
Speaker 5: said discharge Green.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, you lift the clatoral hood and
Speaker 2: it's like a green emeralds because it's just like calcified
Speaker 2: and untouched in very visceral.
Speaker 1: It's like clitoral cheese.
Speaker 5: I know a lot of y'all are fucking cleaning under
Speaker 5: that hood.
Speaker 1: If you drink diet coke, I'm going to kill you.
Speaker 1: Oh this one is so the way kuchi is spelled.
Speaker 1: We'll put it in the episode. I'll read it. Are you.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm reading this. Don't touch, don't ever reach
Speaker 2: for my phone again. I'm gonna go through your phone.
Speaker 5: Can we start going through each other's phones? Actually no,
Speaker 5: that would be really toxic.
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck. I don't have shit on here.
Speaker 5: I'm going to go through your phone and send myself
Speaker 5: all the.
Speaker 1: Picture everything I used to be embarrassed of. Like, I'm
Speaker 1: not embarrassing.
Speaker 2: I feel like we showed each other literally everything. My
Speaker 2: tesla robot when he find out hes gonna be helping me,
Speaker 2: wax this cootie.
Speaker 1: Cat, cooty cat, coty cat, Drew Syf.
Speaker 5: He has now been promoted. You are now in a
Speaker 5: lead employee.
Speaker 1: If you're a man and you work from home, you're
Speaker 1: gay caveman, be like seven will be my year.
Speaker 3: That's good.
Speaker 1: Let's hope fingering is the next pandemic. Howktau Twins makes
Speaker 1: Hoktua Twins make such good music like talk to h
Speaker 1: cocktau cock two cockta twins. Umm dudes, be like I
Speaker 1: do construction whole time. They're the guy that's holding the
Speaker 1: stop sign. Right, bet y'all didn't know Winnie the Pooh's
Speaker 1: grandma was named Poonnanni.
Speaker 2: Last night, before going to the jabs, bar, I found
Speaker 2: a compilation of Drew reading sigh up corner is An.
Speaker 2: I was laughing the exact amount when I heard them
Speaker 2: watching the video as I did in real time, and
Speaker 2: it was starting to freak me out, and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: we have to stop watching this because I don't like that.
Speaker 2: Like my brain still find these the same amount of
Speaker 2: funny as if I haven't pretty crazy?
Speaker 1: Finger me if I'm wrong. But it's today Wednesday? Is
Speaker 1: it wednesday?
Speaker 5: It's tuesday? I have to finger you? Why does Ki
Speaker 5: get to do it?
Speaker 1: I mean because you always do it? And Kay is here.
Speaker 3: You give me a shot at fingering you, Drew, Maybe
Speaker 3: it'll be good.
Speaker 5: The thing is like a good fingering is lit a
Speaker 5: bad fingering? Bitch? How are you fingering wrong?
Speaker 4: Like how are you fetching.
Speaker 5: Respects? Respects?
Speaker 1: Like you got to get up in there and like
Speaker 1: the clitter is.
Speaker 3: Wait, how let me see I couldn't see.
Speaker 5: You said, you have to get into the click, just.
Speaker 3: Like I want to see the technique.
Speaker 5: Stop.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Oh that was the other thing in the syeop Quarner thing.
Speaker 2: It was him singing, and it made me mad in
Speaker 2: person the way it did when I was there in person,
Speaker 2: Like hearing it on, I.
Speaker 3: Keep getting Drew singing the Sundays over like that fucking ball.
Speaker 5: Which I haven't seen that yet.
Speaker 3: You've seen it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, I do remember this.
Speaker 2: That having seventeen thousand line let the Dogs Wear a Wig. Well,
Speaker 2: we're gonna get into media of the week. My media
Speaker 2: of the week is.
Speaker 1: We watched Nightmare on Elm Street and we were Halloween.
Speaker 5: Movies in the night.
Speaker 2: We watched Halloween Nightmare on Elm Street and The Thin
Speaker 2: Blue Line.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I didn't finish The Thin Blue Line. I was
Speaker 1: in bed before then. But no one told me that
Speaker 1: Nightmare on Elm Street. I mean, like I knew it
Speaker 1: was great and I had seen it before, but like
Speaker 1: watching it with a developed brain was like really really
Speaker 1: exciting and it was so good. Also, no one told
Speaker 1: me that at the time it was made for one
Speaker 1: point one million dollars, which is three point three million
Speaker 1: dollars into day's money, and like looking at the practical effects,
Speaker 1: I'm like, y'all, really, we really can't do that today?
Speaker 1: Why did Joker to cost two hundred million fucking dollars?
Speaker 1: Like why did it cost two hundred million dollars? Like really,
Speaker 1: make that make sense? Like they are like literally was Gaga's.
Speaker 5: Like, my name is Yoga and I liked you.
Speaker 1: That hurt my ears so bad, like it actually hurt,
Speaker 1: not hurt ears.
Speaker 5: Want me to tell somebody who gives a fuck?
Speaker 3: That sounded like the Gates of Heaven opening thanks to me.
Speaker 2: I agree with you, though it literally is crazy. I
Speaker 2: miss when horror movies were like practical because it all
Speaker 2: the older movies I like. The reason I like them
Speaker 2: is because they did practical effects and it just looks better,
Speaker 2: even though it's like kind of campy and you're not
Speaker 2: looking at it, being like, that looks so real. It's
Speaker 2: just cool to know the old team came together to
Speaker 2: make that happen.
Speaker 3: The old alien movies looks so fucking good.
Speaker 1: Have you seen Space Odyssey recently? No, it looks like
Speaker 1: it was literally made in twenty twenty three, Like it's unbelievable,
Speaker 1: Like can we like go back to making good movies
Speaker 1: because like, also, this is a hot take, but I
Speaker 1: rewatched Halloween. That movies boring.
Speaker 5: That was hard.
Speaker 1: I understand like the significance and it is an amazing movie.
Speaker 1: And da da da da da da da da da.
Speaker 1: That shit is boring.
Speaker 5: The Halloween is how I feel about Elvis Prostley.
Speaker 1: Like literally boring.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I respect y'all who fuck with this, but
Speaker 5: for me.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, I mean there were some scary ass moments,
Speaker 1: like the car scene got me.
Speaker 2: It was just making me laugh too much because the
Speaker 2: way you creep around the house, it just.
Speaker 1: Felt like that I creep around like Michael Myers. But
Speaker 1: all I'm so English teacher. Please, for the love of God,
Speaker 1: go watch that goddamn show. I need them to get
Speaker 1: renewed for four more seasons because it is the funniest
Speaker 1: thing on television right now. And I don't give a
Speaker 1: fuck what you're doing. Leave this episode right now and
Speaker 1: go start watching it, because it is.
Speaker 2: Like that show is so funny. But they didn't have
Speaker 2: to do like the gay stuff. It probably would have
Speaker 2: been funny.
Speaker 1: I agree, like all the gay shit is weird.
Speaker 5: It's like if it was a normal show, it would
Speaker 5: be like Top Time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if they were all.
Speaker 3: Normal, Why are you guys normal? That isn't cool. I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: but I'm drying the fucking you.
Speaker 2: You go and follow the being gay being cool trend,
Speaker 2: We're going to follow the getting into the pearly Gates
Speaker 2: of Heaven.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is cool. I'm saying it. I'm being the
Speaker 3: first one to say that.
Speaker 1: God asked me. God said, uh, wings, what is it? Fuck?
Speaker 1: Like a barbecue or lemon pepper at the pearly gates?
Speaker 2: God, God said what kind of wings do you want?
Speaker 2: And I said lemon pepper?
Speaker 4: And he kicked me out the lemon pe or.
Speaker 5: I think it's like it was like, do you want
Speaker 5: your wings? It's like, yeah, can I get lemon pepper?
Speaker 3: Ship like that?
Speaker 5: I'm gonna have links up tonight. I think.
Speaker 1: Don't do that to me, really, please, don't.
Speaker 5: I'm easy, breezy.
Speaker 3: Can I do a media it's serious?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys are so traumatized. When I said poor and.
Speaker 4: Literally really four times?
Speaker 1: Fourteen times?
Speaker 3: That's pretty funny. Okay. I just wasn't made for these times.
Speaker 3: By Brian Wilson. Wait, I'll play it.
Speaker 5: You sadness back.
Speaker 1: That's pretty really beautiful.
Speaker 3: It's it's nice to put on when you're feeling down
Speaker 3: and you want to kind of like lean into that
Speaker 3: and have like a cathartic exit out of your melancholy state.
Speaker 5: One feels like that. Have you heard this song?
Speaker 3: Yes? I love that song.
Speaker 2: It would have nowhere to go because you're all full.
Speaker 2: We didn't do media of the week or like.
Speaker 5: I don't have music.
Speaker 3: Really, you guys, Drew's belt is hanging on for dear
Speaker 3: fucking life right now.
Speaker 5: The buckle is gonna blow up in Kay's face. All right, Well,
Speaker 5: thank you guys so much for listening.
Speaker 1: Did you do media?
Speaker 5: I know I haven't been listening to music.
Speaker 4: I'm sad.
Speaker 2: I'm not even kidding. I'm like this year has been
Speaker 2: so sad for me. I haven't like music. It doesn't
Speaker 2: sound the same like I made for music.
Speaker 1: Look, I made a playlist like probably six months ago.
Speaker 2: Oh. I know.
Speaker 5: It's like, could music please sound good again?
Speaker 1: Please? Please, please, for the love of God, make music sounding.
Speaker 1: We're just sending to like my favorite.
Speaker 2: Used to be to like sit in the sauna after
Speaker 2: working out and listen to new music. And I haven't
Speaker 2: like had a moment in the sauna where I hear
Speaker 2: a good song and I'm like, oh my god, like.
Speaker 3: I feel so good. That is the areous symptom of
Speaker 3: being depressed, like, oh, this is just noise.
Speaker 2: My one My one joy is listening to music. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 2: I know I'm down bad when I'm not waking up
Speaker 2: and playing a song off my.
Speaker 1: Boo fucking hill.
Speaker 3: It's really fucked up. I can't even laugh at that.
Speaker 3: That's how you fucked up.
Speaker 5: When we get off of here and you're gonna you're
Speaker 5: gonna learn to never do that to me again, hitting me,
Speaker 5: I don't care. Oh I'm not hitting you. I'm gonna
Speaker 5: stab you.
Speaker 1: Stab me, I don't care. Maybe it'll release some of
Speaker 1: the game.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: Like my bloated, goddamn belly.
Speaker 5: All right, thanks for watching dive