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Speaker 1: Hey everyone, It's Jay Schetty and I'm thrilled to announce

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Speaker 1: my podcast tour for the first time ever. You can

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Speaker 1: see my on Purpose podcast live and in person. Join

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Speaker 1: me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations

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Speaker 1: with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert,

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Speaker 1: or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences

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Speaker 1: designed to inspire growth, spark learning, and build real connections.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on

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Speaker 1: sell now. Head to Jayshetty dot me and get yours today.

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Speaker 2: If you are doing a lot of side hustles, it's very,

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Speaker 2: very difficult to be great at your main hustle. The

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Speaker 2: only way you're going to build real wealth and economic

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Speaker 2: security is to go all in on one thing that

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Speaker 2: is greatness. Focus. None of this matters, None of them

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Speaker 2: means a thing if you can have deep and meaningful relationships.

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Speaker 2: Scott is a professor of marketing at NYU Stern School

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Speaker 2: of Business. He's a best selling author.

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Speaker 3: He has earned ail apps at following through lectures, podcast

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Speaker 3: and YouTube channel.

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Speaker 1: Scott Galloway, how do we rewire our relationship with money?

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Speaker 1: Because most of us have a stressful relationship with money.

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Speaker 2: I think we should have a class called adulting in

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Speaker 2: your senior year of high school that says, my kid

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Speaker 2: can do derivatives, but I just figured out he doesn't

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Speaker 2: understand the interest rate on his credit card. You want

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Speaker 2: to be good at money, put down the facade and

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Speaker 2: start talking to people about their investments, how much money

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Speaker 2: they make, what they do with their money, how they

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Speaker 2: save money. Women are correctly and justifiably, especially young women,

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Speaker 2: blowing by young men. They have more discipline, they have

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Speaker 2: higher EQ. Quite frankly, they're just more mature. If you

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Speaker 2: want to score above your weight class economically, romantically, get

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Speaker 2: out a big spoon and get ready to eat shit.

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Speaker 2: Life isn't about what happens to you. It's about how

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Speaker 2: you respond to what happens to you. What I tell

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Speaker 2: young people is you can have it all, you just

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Speaker 2: can't have it all at once.

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Speaker 1: You're actually getting into a committed relationship. How do we

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Speaker 1: start having healthy and effective conversations about money.

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Speaker 2: I think what really screws up relationships is not financial mishaps.

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Speaker 2: It's the number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Seti

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Speaker 2: J Shey.

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Speaker 1: Hey everyone, welcome back. To On Purpose, the place you

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Speaker 1: come to become the happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's

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Speaker 1: guest is someone I've been really wanting to speak to,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so excited because in the studio we have

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Speaker 1: Scott Galloway, New York Times best selling author, entrepreneur, and

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Speaker 1: professor at NYU. Known for his sharp insights on personal finance,

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Speaker 1: success and discovering one's unique talents. He hosts the Professor

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Speaker 1: G podcast The prof G Podcast, where he shares his

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Speaker 1: honest and practical advice. In his book The Algebra of Wealth,

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Speaker 1: A Simple Formula to Financial Security, Scott breaks down the

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Speaker 1: path to financial success into four key principles focus, stoicism, time,

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Speaker 1: and versification. His podcasting book work together to offer valuable

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Speaker 1: guidance for those looking to improve their financial wellbeing and

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Speaker 1: personal growth. Please welcome to On Purpose, Scott Galloway. Scott,

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Speaker 1: so great to have you here.

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Speaker 2: It's great to be here. Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: J Yeah, thank you so much. I just found out

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Speaker 1: that you're living in my hometown and I'm living in yours.

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Speaker 2: That's right. We swapped.

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Speaker 1: We swapped.

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Speaker 2: I think you got the better end of it. My god,

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Speaker 2: it's so beautiful here.

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Speaker 1: I feel very lucky to be here, genuinely grateful to

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Speaker 1: be here. Scott, There's so many things I want to

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Speaker 1: talk to you. I'm a huge fan. Thanks, my team

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Speaker 1: are huge fans. I'm going to have to ask you

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Speaker 1: to sign too many books before you leave. But one

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Speaker 1: of the first things I wanted to ask you and

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Speaker 1: to start with, is that you talk about this. Why

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Speaker 1: are thirty year olds today earning less than their parents

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Speaker 1: at thirty and what are the challenges that that will

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Speaker 1: create in the future.

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Speaker 2: Sure, so, first off, that's the first time that's happened

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Speaker 2: in our nation's history, and I think that is a

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Speaker 2: fundamental breakdown in the social compact. If you were to

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Speaker 2: reverse engineer to what is the incendiary port on e

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Speaker 2: every social issue we face, which turns a small cut

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Speaker 2: into an opportunistic infection, takes righteous movements but turns them

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Speaker 2: more angry, more polarized. I think it's that the compact

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Speaker 2: is broken down. If your kids, if you play by

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Speaker 2: the rules, you work hard, get some luck. The basic

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Speaker 2: goal is that our notion is that your kids will

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Speaker 2: do better than you, And when your kids aren't doing

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Speaker 2: better than you, it creates shame and rage all around

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Speaker 2: the household. So I think this is really what if

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Speaker 2: you will, it's kind of ground zero for what we

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Speaker 2: need to fix in the United States. Now, why has

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Speaker 2: it happen? The incumbents will say it's things like globalization

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Speaker 2: or network effects, or income inequality with technology sort of.

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Speaker 2: But I would argue it's been a concerted effort by

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Speaker 2: the incumbents who ultimately understandably weaponize government and put in place,

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Speaker 2: advocate for their own interests, and end up passing social

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Speaker 2: and physical policies that essentially have transfer wealth from young

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Speaker 2: people to old people. Let me give you some examples.

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Speaker 2: The two biggest tax deductions are mortgage interest rate and

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Speaker 2: capital gains. Who owns homes and stocks? People my age,

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Speaker 2: who makes all of their money through earned income and rents?

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Speaker 2: People your age or people your staff's age. COVID seven

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Speaker 2: trillion dollars into the economy. Eighty five percent of it

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Speaker 2: wasn't spent, and it was all debt fueled. So what

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Speaker 2: did that do? Most of it ended up in the market,

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Speaker 2: which sent housing prices and stock prices skyrocketing. It's great

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Speaker 2: if you own a house, it's great. If you're an incumbent,

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Speaker 2: it's great if you already have stocks, but if you're

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Speaker 2: trying to get into the market, it just took up

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Speaker 2: the price of everything. We need churn. When you bail

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Speaker 2: out the baby boomer owner of a restaurant, all you're

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Speaker 2: doing is robbing opportunity from the twenty six year old

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Speaker 2: graduate of a culinary academy that wants her shot. The

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Speaker 2: reason I'm I get to live the life I lead

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Speaker 2: and I have economic security is that in two thousand

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Speaker 2: and eight, we bailed out the banks, but we didn't

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Speaker 2: bail out the economy. And Apple, Amazon and Netflix, we're

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Speaker 2: trading it somewhere between eight and twelve bucks a share each,

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Speaker 2: and I was coming into my prime income earning years

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Speaker 2: I bought those stocks, and now there's somewhere between one

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Speaker 2: hundred and eighty and seven hundred dollars a share. Where

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Speaker 2: does a young person find disruption and churn? Because the

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Speaker 2: general viewpoint now is that a virus killing a million

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Speaker 2: people would be bad, but baby boomers getting less wealthy

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Speaker 2: would be tragic. So we borrow the young person's credit card,

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Speaker 2: We run it up, and we flush the market with

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Speaker 2: capital liquidity and bail out the boomers. Also, we have

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Speaker 2: a system that is the demo, and democratic is a

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Speaker 2: little bit. Is part of the problem that old people

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Speaker 2: keep voting themselves more money. Forty percent of all government

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Speaker 2: spending goes to people over the age of sixty five.

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Speaker 2: It's going to be over fifty percent right now. Currently,

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Speaker 2: the average seven year old is seventy two percent wealthier

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Speaker 2: than the average seven year old forty years ago. The

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Speaker 2: average person under the age of forty is twenty four

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Speaker 2: percent less wealthy. So there's this trope that young people

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Speaker 2: are entitled. I believe they're entitled to be enraged, and

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Speaker 2: that is pretty much every major fiscal policy is a

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Speaker 2: transfer of wealth from young income earners to either older

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Speaker 2: people or owners, so earners to owners, young to old,

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Speaker 2: and as a result, it's working. It's champagne and cocaine

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Speaker 2: for people in my generation. Not to say they don't

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Speaker 2: have problems, but young people are really struggling. Education is

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Speaker 2: more expensive, and i'll wrap up here, housing's more expensive.

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Speaker 2: So the primary means of starting to form a household,

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Speaker 2: the primary lubricant of upward mobility, education have exploded in cost.

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Speaker 2: So I think they're right to be really upset, and

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Speaker 2: I think it creates dissent and polarization and anger across

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Speaker 2: our society.

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Speaker 1: Looking at life as things we can control and things

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Speaker 1: we can't control, and hearing that there's valid reasons to

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Speaker 1: be upset, to be angry, sure to feel pain. What

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Speaker 1: can an individual do today in order to transform that

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Speaker 1: for themselves?

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Speaker 2: Well, there's things on a macro level. I mean, the

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Speaker 2: first isn't sound stupid, but vote right. Vote for people

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Speaker 2: who are going to have some sort of physical responsibility.

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Speaker 2: Vote for politicians who are going to do things like

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Speaker 2: a child tax credit. Vote for people who are going

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Speaker 2: to try and create more housing permits so there's more housing.

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Speaker 2: If you're a graduate of an elite college that's grown

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Speaker 2: its en downment fortyfold, Harvard, but it's only increased its

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Speaker 2: freshman class four percent, realize that firm or that organization

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Speaker 2: is no longer acting like a public servant. They're acting

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Speaker 2: like a luxury brand. My industry is really guilty of this.

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Speaker 2: When I applied to UCLA just down the street or

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Speaker 2: down the hill, the admissions rate was seventy six percent.

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Speaker 2: Now the admissions rate is nine percent. And people my

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Speaker 2: age like that because it's taking the value of their

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Speaker 2: degree up. But how many times say have you heard

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Speaker 2: people say I wouldn't get into the college I applied

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Speaker 2: to if I applied to now, well, that means your

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Speaker 2: daughter's not getting in. So we need to do everything

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Speaker 2: we can to try and counter this rejectionist LVMH exclusionary

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Speaker 2: strategy that is benefited the incumbents. On an individual level,

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Speaker 2: you still have as much or more agency in America

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Speaker 2: as a young person than any young person anywhere in

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Speaker 2: the world. You might argue, well, maybe someone with a

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Speaker 2: good education in India with the kind of updraft of

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Speaker 2: the growing economy there, But on average, you really wouldn't

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Speaker 2: want to trade places with any other young person. And

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Speaker 2: while things are maybe more difficult for young people than

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Speaker 2: they were for my generation, especially my demographic, A wide

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Speaker 2: heterosexual male born in California in the sixties kind of

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Speaker 2: hit the lottery right. Free education came a vge sure

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Speaker 2: on the Internet. But I do think young people in

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Speaker 2: America have it better, or have more agency than almost

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Speaker 2: any young person in the world. And you know what

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Speaker 2: it is. It's about getting certification, It's about being kind,

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Speaker 2: it's about making alliances with people, it's about workshopping your twenties,

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Speaker 2: it's about trying to find something you're good at, could

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Speaker 2: that you could be great at. It's a lot of

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Speaker 2: hard work. It's putting aside certain myths around in my opinion,

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Speaker 2: balance I can just tell there were ten or twenty

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Speaker 2: years in your life. I'm guessing you did pretty much

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Speaker 2: nothing but work. It's not easy in a competitive economy

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Speaker 2: to be outstanding and then surround yourself with people who

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Speaker 2: make you feel good about yourself, make sure that you

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Speaker 2: always mentally fit, and then make small investments when you're young,

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Speaker 2: both in terms of taking three five percent of your

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Speaker 2: income when you're a young person, putting it out of

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Speaker 2: your hands into low cost index funds such that when

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Speaker 2: you're my age, even if you don't go double platinum

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Speaker 2: or have a hit podcast, you're still economically secure. And

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Speaker 2: also make those types of little investments in relationships. Because

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Speaker 2: there's a trope or a myth that very successful, very

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Speaker 2: wealthy people crawled over other people. This populous Bernie Sanders

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Speaker 2: Elizabeth Warren argument. It's not the majority of very exceptionally

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Speaker 2: successful and wealthy people are generally generally jay high character people.

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Speaker 2: Because the best way to get ahead is to put

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Speaker 2: yourself in a room of opportunities, even when you're not

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Speaker 2: in that room physically. You want to be the guyrigal

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Speaker 2: that people talk shit about positively behind your back, right.

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Speaker 2: You want to be the person that thinks, oh, my

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Speaker 2: firm is hiring, and I know Jay's looking for a job,

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Speaker 2: and I liked you. I'm emotionally invested in his success.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to put him in a room full of opportunities.

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Speaker 2: So just as we talk a lot about the power

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Speaker 2: of compound interest and how one thousand dollars at twenty

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Speaker 2: two can grow to be eighty thousand when you're my age,

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Speaker 2: small acts of kindness, looking out for people, trying to

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Speaker 2: do them a solid, staying in touch, recognizing that they

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Speaker 2: you know, are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine, No, really,

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Speaker 2: are you all right? Those types of investments. I just

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Speaker 2: went to a sixtieth birthday of two good friends with

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Speaker 2: my roommates we met when we were seventeen and eighteen

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Speaker 2: freshman ye UCLA. And just like the affection, the bonding,

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Speaker 2: the joy we've registered over the last forty odd years,

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Speaker 2: you know, it's just so incredibly rewarding. And I instinctively,

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Speaker 2: not strategically, but instinctively made those types of investments when

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Speaker 2: I was a young person.

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Speaker 1: And also just now Scott for everyone who's listing or watching,

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Speaker 1: Scott turned up of my house and saw Amazon deliveries

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Speaker 1: outside and carried them into the home, talking about high

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Speaker 1: character and being thoughtful and three. I was very touched

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Speaker 1: by that. You know, you definitely didn't have to do

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Speaker 1: that and went out of your way to pick them up,

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Speaker 1: And so you definitely practice what you're preaching right now. No,

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Speaker 1: of course, of course I genuinely recognized it. But I

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Speaker 1: want to talk about both. I want to talk about

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Speaker 1: the softer internal mindsets and habits that you're speaking about.

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Speaker 1: I also want to talk about the more strategic, systematic

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Speaker 1: focuses people can do. Let's start with the more tangible.

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Speaker 1: I was talking to my team about this before you came,

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Speaker 1: because I love getting into everyone's heads about what's everyone

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Speaker 1: worried about, what's everyone struggling with, what are we thinking about?

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Speaker 1: And one of the big things that came up was

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to save. Like a lot of

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Speaker 1: young people say this to me today, like I don't

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Speaker 1: even know what saving means anymore. They've not been trained

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Speaker 1: in it. The education system let them down. Maybe their

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Speaker 1: parents keep saying save safe, safe, safe, save, But the

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Speaker 1: consumption is high. If someone's thinking about saving today, how

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Speaker 1: do they create a framework for healthy and realistic saving.

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Speaker 2: Well, the first thing you have to have something to say.

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Speaker 2: There's just no getting around it. You've got to be

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Speaker 2: able to make money. And the best way to make

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Speaker 2: a lot of money is by starting and making a

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Speaker 2: little bit of money. I coach a lot of young men,

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Speaker 2: and typically what I do on the first meeting is

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Speaker 2: I tell them to unlock their phone and I say,

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to judge you. You know, I'm on TikTok,

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Speaker 2: I watch porn. I'm not easily offended here. And we're

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Speaker 2: going to find eight to ten hours a week out

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Speaker 2: of your phone. And it's ridiculously easy with young men

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Speaker 2: to find eight or ten hours in their phone between Robinhood, Twitter,

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Speaker 2: what have you, and we reinvest it. And the first

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Speaker 2: thing is we got to figure out, Okay, for me,

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Speaker 2: it's physical fitness right away, We're going to spend two

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Speaker 2: to four hours a week getting strong. Especially I coach

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Speaker 2: mostly young men, but I think one of the keys

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Speaker 2: to mental health is feeling as if you're a young

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Speaker 2: man that you could walk into any room and have

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Speaker 2: shit out real kill and eat everybody or out run them.

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Speaker 2: I think that should be your goal. I think it's instinctual.

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Speaker 2: I think it make you feel strong. I think make

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Speaker 2: it feel kinder. The people who break up fights at

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Speaker 2: bars are usually big, strong men. The second thing, you

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Speaker 2: have to start making some money. I don't care if

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Speaker 2: it's flipping on your smartphone to be a lift driver

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Speaker 2: or a task grab it going to CBS and stocking shelves.

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Speaker 2: Even just a little bit of money gives you a

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Speaker 2: taste for the flesh of money and gets you thinking

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Speaker 2: about different ways to make money. And capital in a

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Speaker 2: capitalist society is intoxicating. So we have to figure out

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Speaker 2: a way to start making some money. Once we start

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Speaker 2: making some money and we have a salary and we

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Speaker 2: work at an organization, ninety eight percent of people will

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Speaker 2: spend everything that comes through their hands, right. It just

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Speaker 2: you live in a society where there are the most

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Speaker 2: impressive people and the most impressive technology ever in the

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Speaker 2: history of our planet. Have one mission, and that's to

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Speaker 2: figure out a way to present you with the ultimate

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Speaker 2: offer at exactly the right time. Oh, heading to Coppo

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Speaker 2: for a girl's weekend wouldn't you like to upgrade from

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Speaker 2: economy to Economy Comfort. Oh, only two of these rooms left.

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Speaker 2: How about upgrade now to the special SPA package. Oh,

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Speaker 2: you just bought a pair of on running shoes. What

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Speaker 2: about these bomba socks. It is nearly impossible for a

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Speaker 2: young person to save money if it comes through their hands,

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Speaker 2: if they get their hands on it. You want to

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Speaker 2: figure out a forced savings So everything from like the

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Speaker 2: Acorns app that rounds up and puts the money automatically

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Speaker 2: into a low cost index fund. Find out what government

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Speaker 2: programs there are in your nation that where if you

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Speaker 2: sign up, the money's taken out of your check, maybe

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Speaker 2: it's matched by the government, maybe it's matched by your employer.

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Speaker 2: Four oh one k Ira Roth. First thing you do,

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Speaker 2: find someone smarter your company. Talk to your tax advisor,

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Speaker 2: go on AI and say what force savings mechanisms our

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Speaker 2: most tax advantage that I can participate in at an

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Speaker 2: early age, because you really just need to take somewhere

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Speaker 2: between call it three and five percent of your income

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Speaker 2: if you start when you're in your twenties. And in

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Speaker 2: the UK they round up from four thousand pounds a

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Speaker 2: year to five thousand. There are tax deferred programs here

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Speaker 2: such that you don't get clipped twenty thirty forty percent

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Speaker 2: each year. So the first thing is I got to

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Speaker 2: start making some money. The next thing is, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to lean into my advantage, your advantage. When you're young.

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Speaker 2: Everyone has capital. When you're young, you have more human capital.

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Speaker 2: You have more time than financial capital. So I'm going

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Speaker 2: to lean into that advantage. And if I can just

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Speaker 2: figure out the discipline of getting one thousand, two thousand,

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Speaker 2: five thousand bucks a year into one of these programs,

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to touch it. I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: think about it. I'm not going to trade. I'm going

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Speaker 2: to focus on what I'm good at. By the time

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Speaker 2: you're my age, you're going to be fine. But the

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Speaker 2: easiest way to do that is a forced savings plan.

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Speaker 2: You have agency make some money and immediately, I don't

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Speaker 2: care if it's you start off making a couple grand

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Speaker 2: a month as a task, gravit or whatever it might be.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to take two or three percent of it

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Speaker 2: and find a pros that's it. It never gets into

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Speaker 2: my hands and goes into a low cost diversified index font.

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Speaker 1: One of the things I love you talk about in

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Speaker 1: the book The Algebra of Wealth is you talk about

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Speaker 1: the challenge we have with our goals. The first is

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Speaker 1: we set unrealistic goals, and then there's super long term

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Speaker 1: so we say things to ourselves like, well, in the

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Speaker 1: next twelve months, I'm going to save twelve thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: and it's like we've never even saved five hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: And you talk about this need to set a goal

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Speaker 1: of like this is how much I'm going to save

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Speaker 1: this month, Like this is where I'm going to start.

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Speaker 1: And it's so interesting you talk about time and your

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Speaker 1: work with young men, because I think time is so

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Speaker 1: interesting because I think today most people would rather finish

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Speaker 1: their work day and we'd love to just switch on

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Speaker 1: a show or doom, scroll on TikTok, and so there

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Speaker 1: is more time that could be engaged in creating other

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Speaker 1: revenue streams, etc. But what is really blocking us from

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Speaker 1: doing that. I think everyone knows they have time, they

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Speaker 1: know they want to make more money, but there's something

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Speaker 1: there that's just blocking us from getting activated. What have

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Speaker 1: you found that is?

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Speaker 2: So I can't speak for the whole population, but generally speaking,

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Speaker 2: the lack of executive function is the part of the

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Speaker 2: brain that controls that is the prefrontal cortex, the kind

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Speaker 2: of gas on gas off, the part of the brain

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Speaker 2: that says, stop playing video games and start studying, that

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Speaker 2: is maturing later and later. In boys, it's somewhere between

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Speaker 2: twelve and eighteen months behind young women. So in many ways,

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Speaker 2: a senior in high school, a woman who's applying to college,

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Speaker 2: and a young man who's applying to college senior in

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Speaker 2: high school, the woman is competing against a sixteen and

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Speaker 2: a half year old, and as a result, few and

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Speaker 2: fewer men are going to college. And we're in an

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Speaker 2: economy where forty years ago, one of three jobs needed

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Speaker 2: a college degree, now it's two and three. Women are

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Speaker 2: correctly and justifiably, especially young women, blowing by young men.

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Speaker 2: They have more discipline, they have higher eq. Quite frankly,

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Speaker 2: they're just more more mature. I say this in my

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Speaker 2: own company. I have a lot of young people, disproportionate

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Speaker 2: amount of young people in my organization. There's some very

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Speaker 2: talented young men, but I would describe them kind of

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Speaker 2: as dopey, almost a little boyish. I have some young

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Speaker 2: women in my firm who could be the junior senator

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Speaker 2: from Pennsylvania, women are just maturing earlier, So there's certain

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Speaker 2: biological things that get in the way of men having

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Speaker 2: executive function. I also think that there's so much temptation.

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Speaker 2: I think there's a little bit of belief of kind

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Speaker 2: of yolo, you know, this is it live for today.

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Speaker 2: I also think it's harder for them to save, just

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Speaker 2: because everything's so goddamn expensive, So it's discouraging for them.

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Speaker 2: It's like, Okay, I'm working my ass off and I

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Speaker 2: can barely pay for my barely pay for my rent.

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Speaker 2: So this is a this is anecdotal evidence, but it

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Speaker 2: largely represents the economy. When I got out of business school,

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Speaker 2: the average salary was one hundred grand. You know, I

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Speaker 2: went to quoteunquote lead business school. I went to the

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Speaker 2: high school. The average house in San Francisco costs two

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Speaker 2: hundred and eighty thousand dollars, so two point eight times

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Speaker 2: the NBA salary. Now the kids at has still in

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Speaker 2: a lead business goal incredible compensation average two hundred grand

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Speaker 2: right out of business school, but the average home in

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Speaker 2: San Francisco is two point one million. Why because as

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Speaker 2: soon as you have a house, you become very concerned

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Speaker 2: with traffic, and you start showing up to local review

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Speaker 2: meetings and making sure no new housing is built, which

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Speaker 2: is great if you already own a home, going back

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Speaker 2: to the rejection of strategy, but it's almost impossible now.

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Speaker 2: It's almost like saving for a home is out of

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Speaker 2: my reach. The travel industry has boomed, and my thesis

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Speaker 2: is that you have millions of young people who are

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Speaker 2: going into their mating ears and decided, let's say four house.

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Speaker 2: Let's say for a house then pre pandemic, a house

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Speaker 2: is two hundred and ninety k. Post pandemic, it's four

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Speaker 2: to twenty. Interest rates from from three percent to seven percent.

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Speaker 2: Average mortgage went from eleven hundred to twenty two hundred.

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Speaker 2: All of a sudden, the American dream has become a

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Speaker 2: hallucination of fantasy. Fuck it, I'm getting a backpack and

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Speaker 2: I'm going to do an Airbnb in Bangkok. And travel stocks,

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Speaker 2: hotel stocks, airline stocks have all boomed because I think

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Speaker 2: young people have given up on the American dream of

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Speaker 2: owning a home. But circling back to your question, it's

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Speaker 2: I think recognizing you have agency, realizing that this is hard,

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Speaker 2: it's hard work. You're working in an economy, build a

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Speaker 2: kitchen cabinet of people who can advise you. It's very

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Speaker 2: hard to read the label from inside of the bottle.

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Speaker 2: You gotta work hard. There's just no getting around it.

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Speaker 2: I don't care how talented you are, Beyonce, works are

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Speaker 2: ass off. I mean it just people who want to

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Speaker 2: be successful and influential after work really hard. And then

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Speaker 2: what I would also say is that forgive yourself. My

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00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 2: first job out of college was investment banking. I hit

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Speaker 2: the lottery. Everyone was super impressed. I hated it and

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Speaker 2: I wasn't going to good at good at it, And

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Speaker 2: within two and a half years I was back living

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Speaker 2: at home with my mother, unemployed. That almost kind of

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Speaker 2: devastated me. But my kind of success comes from my

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Speaker 2: ability to endure rejection and move through it to morn

432
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 2: and move on. So if you're in your twenties and

433
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 2: you're thinking I'm not making a lot of money, I'm

434
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 2: having trust like having a nice life. I'm not entirely

435
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,400
Speaker 2: sure what I want to do, then you are exactly

436
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 2: where you should be. Your twenties are for workshopping. Forgive yourself,

437
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 2: but keep trying. Reach out to people for help, show up,

438
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 2: get the easy shit right, show up early, be courteous,

439
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 2: be kind, you know, think about how do I get

440
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,199
Speaker 2: more certification? And then the moment you lock in on

441
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 2: something that you're good at and could become great at,

442
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,440
Speaker 2: go all in on it. And I come from the

443
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 2: attitude I'm assuming people want real economic security. Some people say, Scott,

444
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 2: I'm not like you. I don't want to live to work.

445
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 2: I want to work to live. Fine, but have an

446
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 2: honest conversation with yourself around what you need to make

447
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 2: to have a reasonable life. If you want to live

448
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 2: in la and you want to have a nice lifestyle,

449
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 2: you just have to make a shit ton of money.

450
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 2: That's just the reality. But if you say I'm not

451
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 2: all about work, then fine, do you want to move

452
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 2: to Santa Clarita or do you want to move to

453
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 2: the Inland Empire? Or do you want to move to

454
00:22:56,359 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 2: somewhere in Oregon. Fine, but have a sober conversation with yourself.

455
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 2: What are your expectations and realistically, what kind of commitment

456
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 2: and trade off are you going to need to get there.

457
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 2: What I tell young people is you can have it all,

458
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 2: you just can't have it all at once. I have

459
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 2: amazing balance right now, and looking around, I think you do.

460
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 2: But that's because I had almost none in my twenties

461
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 2: and thirties, and I don't you know this whole life.

462
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 2: I don't know much about you, but the life I

463
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 2: lead now when I'm in LA I didn't even know

464
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:32,360
Speaker 2: what existed in my twenties because I'm like, I need

465
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,199
Speaker 2: to make money and I'm not exceptionally talented. So the

466
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 2: thing I can control is how hard I work, and

467
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 2: there's no getting around it. It'll cost you some relationships.

468
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 2: It cost me my hair, it cost me my first marriage.

469
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,679
Speaker 2: And this sounds crass, but it was worth it because

470
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 2: now that I have kids, now that I'm older, I

471
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 2: have a lot of balance. So it's a sober conversation.

472
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: It's a kitchen cabinet. It's forgiving yourself. It's trying to

473
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 2: find something you're good at. It's a lot of things,

474
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 2: more than anything, More than anything, forgive yourself. If things

475
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 2: aren't working out in your twenties, that's where you should be.

476
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 2: Very rarely do people come right out of college and

477
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 2: go like this, Yeah.

478
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 1: So well said so much to unpack the scott and

479
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,919
Speaker 1: thank you for kind of giving us so many points

480
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: to check with The first thing I want to ask

481
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 1: you is should younger people today even aspire to own

482
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 1: a home? Or is the American dream that version of

483
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 1: it dead?

484
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 2: It's situational. First off, keep in mind the term the

485
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: American Dream was invented by the National Realtors Association and

486
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 2: the real Estate Association that wants to keep pumping up

487
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,239
Speaker 2: the price and the commissions on homes. If you live

488
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 2: in a place like Los Angeles, where I believe the

489
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 2: quote unquote the yield, that is the ratio the cost

490
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 2: to rent something relative to the price to buy it,

491
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 2: it actually makes more financial sense for most people to

492
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 2: rent here. It makes sense for most people in New

493
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 2: York to rent. You're in Saint Louis, you're in Lansing, Michigan,

494
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 2: it probably makes sense to try and save some money

495
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 2: and buy and take advantage a first home buyer's credits.

496
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:01,639
Speaker 2: What have you?

497
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 3: So?

498
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,399
Speaker 2: You want to find someone who cried frankly, if you're

499
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,200
Speaker 2: not good at math, is better at math than you,

500
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 2: and say, does it make sense for me to buy

501
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 2: a home because you might be better off. The co

502
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 2: host of my podcast Raging Moderates is a very successful woman,

503
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,880
Speaker 2: Her Nam's Jessica Tarloff. She's the Democrat on the most

504
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 2: popular cable news channel show called The Five Right. It's

505
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 2: for Republicans and Jess and she makes really good money.

506
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,199
Speaker 2: Her husband makes really good money, and they've decided not

507
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 2: to buy in New York because they think putting the

508
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 2: money in the market will give them more financial security.

509
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 2: So greatness and great decisions are in the agency of others.

510
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 2: I would talk to people, but don't feel as if

511
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 2: you're a failure if you don't own real estate, because

512
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 2: real estate right now, as a percentage of GDP as

513
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 2: a multiple on rents is at historic highs, meaning that

514
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 2: you really don't want to be house poor. You really

515
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 2: don't want to go all in because the National Realtors

516
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 2: Association is telling you you're a failure if you don't

517
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 2: own a home, because the last thing you want to

518
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,719
Speaker 2: do is just have no money for nothing else the

519
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 2: market corrects and your house doesn't worth the debt on it.

520
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 2: That is devastating emotionally and financially and from a credit standpoint,

521
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 2: So it's situational. At the same time, there's no getting

522
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,640
Speaker 2: around the psychic There is some psychic income. I remember,

523
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:18,880
Speaker 2: you know, before I got married, I was thinking about

524
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 2: I wanted to commit to somebody. You buy a house,

525
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 2: you get a dog. It's sort of these emotional commitments.

526
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 2: And also it's there is a certain pride of ownership.

527
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: I think it's situational where you are in life, how

528
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 2: much money you have, the city you're in. But buying

529
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 2: a home is meant to be an enhancement to your life.

530
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 2: It's not a suicide pact. And it may not be

531
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 2: right for everybody.

532
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think what it gave people as a symbol

533
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 1: was something to pursue. Right, we started talking about you

534
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: go to college, you get a degree, you get a job,

535
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 1: get married, you get a house, you have kids. Like

536
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: it became one of those temppole things. And so now

537
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 1: when you take it out, it's almost like what should

538
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: people be pursuing? Right, If you got married, you got

539
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 1: a good job, working, you're with your partner, It's almost

540
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 1: like people think they have to pursue It's almost like

541
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 1: the assumption that you have to have kids. It's the

542
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: same assumption of oh, where we have to buy a house. Yeah,

543
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 1: so what should people pursue instead? Financially, when it comes

544
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: to financial security, the.

545
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 2: Goal is what I'll call wealth. The goal is going

546
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 2: to be rich. Rich is the things you see. Wealth

547
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 2: is what you don't see. And your pursuit should be

548
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 2: wealth or economic security. And this is what wealth is.

549
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 2: Wealth is having passive income that's greater than your burn.

550
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: Two examples. I have a buddy who runs M and

551
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 2: A for a Bulgbrackt investment bank, makes between three and

552
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 2: ten million dollars a year, dependent upon the market because

553
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,199
Speaker 2: it's all current incomany, pays fifty percent taxes between his

554
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 2: ex wife, his home in the Hamptons, and his master

555
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 2: the universe lifestyle that he feels he deserves. He hasn't

556
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 2: saved a lot of money and he spends most of it.

557
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 2: And I know that firsthand. He has a lot of

558
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 2: sleepless nights wondering what happens if the music stops. He

559
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 2: is not wealthy. My father, who is ninety four, between

560
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 2: his pension from the Royal Navy social security and he

561
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 2: owns six washer dryer machines and trailer parks where he

562
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 2: goes and collects the money with his walker. He makes

563
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 2: fifty two thousand dollars a year he spends forty eight,

564
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 2: so he is saving money despite the fact that he's

565
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 2: not working, so his passive income is greater than his burn.

566
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 2: He is wealthy. So you want to put yourself on

567
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 2: a track to being wealthy. You want to say, realistically,

568
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 2: I can control how much I spent. I just I've

569
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 2: been coaching this couple living in San Jose and they're

570
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 2: in their late fifties. I talk a lot about young people,

571
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 2: and they say, Scott, we're in our late fifties. What

572
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 2: do we do. How much money do you have? What's

573
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 2: your house? With? Da da da? And by the time

574
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 2: they're sixty five, they're not going to have enough passive

575
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 2: income to pay for their lifestyle. I said, well, let's

576
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 2: lean into our strengths here. Why are you in San

577
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 2: Jose And they said, well, we've always lived here. I'm like, well, okay,

578
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 2: your kids are gone and you've just you go to

579
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 2: Costa Rica twice here. Why wouldn't you try and cut

580
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 2: your burn forty percent and move to Costa Rica and

581
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 2: take that economic pressure away and sell your house here.

582
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 2: I think your kids would love to come busit you

583
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: in Costa Rica. So the question is put yourself on

584
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 2: a path using basic math and what you really think

585
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 2: you're going to need in terms of passive income such

586
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 2: at at some point. Ideally it's by the time you're forty.

587
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 2: It's usually not, but it needs to be by the

588
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 2: time you're sixty five or seventy, because that release of

589
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,239
Speaker 2: economic anxiety freeze you up to focus on what is

590
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 2: really important, and that is deep and meaningful relationships. So

591
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 2: the reason why I am so much happier over the

592
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: last ten years than I was kind of the first

593
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 2: forty five years of my life is that economic stress

594
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: was always there for me. I was raised by a

595
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 2: single immigrant mother who lived and die of secretary. I

596
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 2: felt like there was a ghost following us around, telling

597
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 2: us we weren't worthy because we didn't have money. Between

598
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 2: college student loans, the bomb crashed, and the Great Financial Recession,

599
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 2: I just never had enough money to have passive income.

600
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 2: Such that I was done, and a lot of people

601
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 2: never get there. I got lucky, sold my last company

602
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 2: about ten years ago for a lot of money. Now,

603
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 2: unless I really screw up again, which I've done a

604
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 2: couple times, I can focus on my relationships. The resting

605
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 2: blood pressure of a child in a low income home

606
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 2: is higher than the restling to solid blood pressure of

607
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 2: a kid in a middle or upper income home. I

608
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 2: think the majority of divorces are not a function of

609
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 2: infidelity or a lack of shared values. It's those things.

610
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 2: One or more of those things might happen, and then

611
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 2: again the incendiary on it is financial stress. Two thirds

612
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 2: plus of divorce filings are from women. And we don't

613
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 2: like to say this because we like to assume all

614
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: men are predators and all women are virtuous. But when

615
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 2: a man is under financial stress us the reality is

616
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 2: he becomes less attractive as a mate, and that can

617
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 2: lead to real stress in the relationship. So what you

618
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 2: want to pursue if you're not pursuing a home, you

619
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 2: want to put yourself on a path. You want to

620
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,719
Speaker 2: get alignment with a partner. You want to track your

621
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 2: spending and put yourself on a path to some level

622
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 2: of economic security of wealth by say the time you're

623
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,719
Speaker 2: sixty five. And if you're young and you're killing it

624
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 2: instead of buying a bigger flat screen or a bigger TV,

625
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 2: or maybe a bigger house, well what if I started

626
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: saving ten, fifteen, twenty thirty percent of my salary and

627
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 2: I got wealth by the time I'm forty or forty five.

628
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 2: Because to be in America, young and healthy and have

629
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 2: passive income that's greater than your burn. You're just going

630
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 2: to have a wonderful life. So it's not acquiring anything.

631
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 2: It's getting to a point of economic security or wealth.

632
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 2: And that's a function of two things. How much money

633
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 2: you make such as you can save, key to wealth.

634
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 2: It's not how much you make, it's how much you save.

635
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 2: And also the thing you can control is your burn.

636
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 2: You know, I have a friend who ran a hedge fund.

637
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: It closed down. He makes good money, but not great

638
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 2: money living in Tribeca with three kids, needed a million

639
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 2: bucks a year to live that life. Moved to Portugal,

640
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 2: lives an amazing life with a beautiful home, great food, childcare,

641
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 2: great education on four hundred grand a year. I mean,

642
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 2: these are problems of privilege, but that has taken the

643
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 2: world of stress off his shoulders. He now needs to

644
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 2: make a very good living, not an outrageous living. So

645
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 2: but surround yourself with smart people who can help you

646
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,360
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647
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648
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655
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656
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664
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,840
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669
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,520
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670
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: use the code on purpose. When you bring up the

671
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,840
Speaker 1: word money, most of us kind of go blank faced.

672
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 1: We want to reach for a stress ball. We kind

673
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 1: of you can just sense that it's uncomfortable to talk

674
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 1: about it because we're almost reminded of all the bills

675
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,959
Speaker 1: stacking up and all of our expenses and we spend

676
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: too much on TikTok shop this week, and you know,

677
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: the reality hits and we kind of don't want to

678
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 1: talk about it. Don't bring it up. How do we

679
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 1: get out of that stressful wir ring? And you talked

680
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 1: about it even there with your background, Like I grew

681
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: up in a family where we didn't have the healthiest

682
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 1: relationship with money because we never had enough or we

683
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 1: always had just enough and that was good enough, and

684
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 1: that was always like you know, you're just looking at

685
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 1: your back balance sitting at zero all the time, Like,

686
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 1: how do we rewire our relationship with money because most

687
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: of us have a stressful relationship with money.

688
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 2: Well, when you think about how they help people who

689
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 2: are depressed, it's a combination of talk therapy and if needed,

690
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 2: some sort of you know, pharmaceugal intervention. I think mental

691
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 2: illness or mental unwellness around money. I think we absolutely

692
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 2: need to one have more financial literacy. I think we

693
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 2: should have a class called adulting in your senior year

694
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 2: of high school that says, my kid can do derivatives,

695
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 2: but I just figured out he doesn't understand the interest

696
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 2: rate on his credit card. So young people needs a

697
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 2: certain level of financial literacy. Also, I encourage him to

698
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 2: talk about money with their friends. It's especially hard for men.

699
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 2: Women are disproportionately evaluated based on their aesthetics. Men are

700
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 2: disproportionally evaluated based on their economic vitality. So for a

701
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 2: guy to say, hey, do you you know I lost

702
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 2: a shit ton of money in the market. Should I

703
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,759
Speaker 2: sell it? Do I get a tax shot off? That

704
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 2: connotes weakness. They're worried that they're less attractive. There's actually

705
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 2: something very British that you might relate to, and that

706
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 2: is British people. The best great I understand in Britain

707
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 2: that everyone wants is you get really high marks but

708
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 2: really low effort scores. You're supposed to be accidentally rich.

709
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 2: I'm so I'm such a baller and I'm so great

710
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 2: at what I do that I just accidentally slipped and

711
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 2: fell on a ton of money. No, it's work. You

712
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 2: got to think about it. You got to talk about it.

713
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 2: So I encourage people to talk to their friends and

714
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 2: if you're comfortable, this is how much money I'm making, this,

715
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 2: how much I'm saving? This is you know, taxation is

716
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 2: really important? Well what if I moved to Florida? How

717
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 2: much money would I save? You know, what if I

718
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: buy a house? Now I heard there's something called ten

719
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 2: thirty one exchange where I can roll into my next

720
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:39,839
Speaker 2: property tax free. Talk about money, get get really good

721
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 2: at it. Roger Federer Do you think he never talks

722
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 2: about Toennis talks about it all the goddamn time. You

723
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 2: do you want to be great at money? Most people say, yeah,

724
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,320
Speaker 2: I want to be great at money? Is anybody great

725
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:54,879
Speaker 2: at anything? If I wanted to be an amazing evolutionary anthropologist?

726
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 2: Would I never talk about it? Would I never bring

727
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 2: it up in conversation? Would I never want to talk

728
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 2: to other people about evolutionary anthropology? If you want to

729
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,479
Speaker 2: be good at money, put down the facade and start

730
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 2: talking to people about their investments, how much money they make,

731
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 2: what they do with their money, how they save money,

732
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 2: what they do to try and limit their spending. I

733
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 2: talk about stoicism. See if you can find a practice

734
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 2: where you get reward or a dopa hit from exercise

735
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 2: or relationships. Gamify saving money. My junior year at UCLA,

736
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 2: I was in a fraternity with mostly wealthy Jewish kids

737
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 2: from the valley, and there were five or six of

738
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 2: us out of one hundred and twenty guys, and everybody

739
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 2: in who we were. We didn't have any money. We're

740
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: always laying on our house bills. Everyone knew, oh, those

741
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 2: are the poor kids, right. And one summer we all

742
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:46,240
Speaker 2: lived in the same apartment building and we gamified saving money,

743
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: and we had a whiteboard and we literally made a

744
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,720
Speaker 2: game out of it. In the summer of nineteen eighty five,

745
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 2: I survived for twelve weeks on seventy eight bucks a

746
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 2: week including rent, because if I didn't save three thousand

747
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 2: bucks by the fall, I wasn't going back for my

748
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 2: senior year and college because I didn't have wealthy parents.

749
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 2: And if you can gamify saving money with a partner,

750
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 2: especially a romantic partner, that you can be totally transparent

751
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:13,799
Speaker 2: with God. That's powerful. We're building something. We're gonna save

752
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 2: a ton of money. Can we save five or seven

753
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,359
Speaker 2: thousand bucks this year together? And it's gonna be eight

754
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 2: thousand next year, and then it's gonna be nine and

755
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 2: with compounding and five or six years, which will go

756
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 2: really fast. We have sixty eighty one hundred grand and

757
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 2: having kids is I think the most rewarding thing it

758
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 2: has been for me was I didn't plan to have kids,

759
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 2: but it was having kids with someone else and raising

760
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 2: what feel like pretty good citizens. But a close second

761
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 2: was building economic security with someone else. We had total alignment. Right,

762
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 2: We're gonna save We were transparent around our expenses. We

763
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 2: were generous with each other. Oh no, you should do that.

764
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 2: There's a very unhealthy dynamic sometimes in relationships, and this

765
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 2: is sexist, but I found it to be true where

766
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 2: the dude uses money to control his spouse and the

767
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,240
Speaker 2: spouse turns it into a game of how much money

768
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:11,720
Speaker 2: she can spend without him knowing. And fortunately that's getting

769
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 2: flipped a little bit, or it's equalizing because women are

770
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 2: doing so well. Women under the age of thirty are

771
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,280
Speaker 2: making more money, and urban centers. More single women own homes,

772
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 2: but they're still in my generation. This very weird dynamic

773
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 2: between the sexes and money. But going back to your

774
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 2: original question, talk about it, understand it. If you want

775
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 2: to be good at it, you got to get literate

776
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 2: at it, and you want to bring it up with

777
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: your friends and you can start learning. I spend four

778
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 2: hours a week probably talking to other people about my

779
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 2: economic well being, what tag loop holes there are where

780
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,399
Speaker 2: I should be investing. I have a lot of real

781
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 2: estate when interest rates come down, At what point do

782
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 2: interest rates get low enough where I should be pulling

783
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 2: a second out and putting it in the market, knowing

784
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 2: if I have a ten year mortgage, over ten years,

785
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 2: the market's usually up about seven nine percent a year.

786
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 2: Does that make sense right? Think about it all the time.

787
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 2: You're the average of your five friends. You've seen that study,

788
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 2: body mass, politics, sports teams. But what's more interesting is

789
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,720
Speaker 2: one of those five people will be more economically secure,

790
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 2: much more economically secure than the other four, despite not

791
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 2: making a lot more money. You want to know those

792
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 2: behaviors and those characteristics, and you want to model that person.

793
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,399
Speaker 2: But this is something we all need to be more

794
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,359
Speaker 2: open about it doesn't make you less of a man.

795
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 2: You're not supposed to have a lot of money when

796
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 2: you're young. Everybody screws up. I've been broke twice in

797
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 2: my forties. I was broke and that was really I

798
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 2: was too ashamed to admit that to anybody else. It

799
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 2: was like, well, you're supposed to be smart and great

800
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 2: at what you do, right, So I think being a

801
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 2: little bit more vulnerable, being open about it and getting

802
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 2: tips and you know, kind of kind of rules of

803
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 2: the road from other people talk about it.

804
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 1: Yeah. One of the studies I looked at and you

805
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 1: just broke brought up here was that in twenty twenty four,

806
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 1: eighty eight percent of couples reported financial problems as the

807
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 1: cause for divorce. And it's what you talked about there,

808
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: of being able to talk to your partner about money.

809
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: What's a healthy way to bring up the subject, to

810
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: connect with someone about it, because, as you said, sometimes

811
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: in the early dating phases, it's really uncomfortable to talk

812
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 1: about it because people feel you're a gold digger. People

813
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,360
Speaker 1: feel that you're just after their money. People are concerned

814
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,279
Speaker 1: that they don't have enough of it to talk about it.

815
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: But if you're actually getting into a committed relationship. How

816
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 1: do we start having healthy and effective conversations about money.

817
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 2: I would say transparency and a budget. You know, we

818
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 2: kind of all have that one that sort of got away.

819
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 2: I was deeply in love with this woman who was

820
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 2: in her residency to be a surgeon, and I was

821
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 2: very serious about her, and so I said, look, this

822
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 2: is what I have, and I kind of went through

823
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 2: my assets, how I plan to make money, what money

824
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 2: I had, where I lost money, where I'd made money,

825
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 2: And then she was very transparent and said, well, you know,

826
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 2: my parents are wealthy, so when they passed, I'll get

827
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 2: some money, but right now I'll have is a ton

828
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 2: of debt. And I think it made us feel really

829
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 2: much closer to each other, that kind of transparency. So

830
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 2: one I would say it's transparency, and I would say

831
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 2: it's regular check ins and a budget. I think what

832
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 2: really screws up relationships is not financial mishaps. It surprises. Oh,

833
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 2: you've been day trading and you've been going into some

834
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 2: stock that your buddy at work said was good, and

835
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 2: you lost. You lost twenty percent of our savings. But

836
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,439
Speaker 2: it happened a year ago, and you're telling me now.

837
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 2: So I think it's a good idea on a regular

838
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 2: basis not only sit down and talk about budget, but

839
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 2: just say this is what's going on with us financially

840
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 2: and go through kind of spending and just being very

841
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:48,240
Speaker 2: transparent with each other and also, you know, not hiding

842
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 2: the ball, right. I think that sometimes people don't want

843
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 2: to talk about a financial hit they've taken. Like I said,

844
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 2: I think the thing that screws up marriages is not

845
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 2: is not only financial stress, but it surprises about financial stress. Jesus,

846
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 2: you've been spending this much money on this and you

847
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 2: were trying to hide it from me. We lost thirty

848
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 2: percent of our savings in this one stock and you

849
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 2: didn't like. I check in with my partner and I say,

850
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 2: this is this is where we are, this is what

851
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 2: I'm thinking. I don't make a big investment without running

852
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 2: it by her first. She always says yes, but I

853
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 2: want her to know because that way when it if

854
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 2: it doesn't go well, it was our it's our problem,

855
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:31,439
Speaker 2: it's our fault. So transparency talking about it and a

856
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 2: budget that you review together. Yeah.

857
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's that's great advice. And I think that

858
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 1: transparency point is so huge because you're so right. Surprises

859
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 1: in any way in relationships the biggest trust breaker, and

860
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 1: you're so right that it's it's not even that that

861
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 1: person had an issue with what you were doing, it's

862
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 1: why you didn't tell them. That's what really breaks it down.

863
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 1: You talk a lot about investing and focusing on your talents,

864
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,879
Speaker 1: not your passions. Yeah, I think for a long time

865
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:04,760
Speaker 1: we've kept hearing this language around find your passion, follow

866
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: your passion, chase your passion, and yours is well no talent,

867
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: talent talent A lot of First of all, let's talk

868
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: about why talents over passions? And second of all, a

869
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,359
Speaker 1: lot of what I hear is, Jay, I don't even

870
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 1: know what my passion's are and I don't know what

871
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: my talents are.

872
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, where do I go? So?

873
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: First thing, why talents over passions? And second what do

874
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,879
Speaker 1: I do if I don't know what my talents are? Yeah?

875
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 2: We get two types of speakers at NYU, really accomplished

876
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:32,440
Speaker 2: impressive people and billionaires. We've just decided, once you have

877
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 2: three comments around your net worth, you have insight into life.

878
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: And they always end their speech, or most of the

879
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 2: time end their speech with the following advice, which I

880
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 2: think is just terrible advice for young people. Follow your passion.

881
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: First off, recognize the majority of people telling you to

882
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 2: follow your passion are already rich and they made their

883
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 2: billions in iron ore smelting. This is your job. Your

884
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 2: job is to find your talent such that you could

885
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 2: be in the top ten percent within ten years and

886
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 2: then maybe in the top one percent in fifteen or

887
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 2: twenty years. And this is the hard part, or the

888
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: important part in an industry that has a ninety plus

889
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 2: percent employment rate, which by the way, is ninety plus

890
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 2: percent of industries. Young people's passions are often conflated with

891
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 2: their hobbies. I would have liked to have been quarterback

892
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 2: for the Jets. I have a pretty decent arm, a

893
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 2: good plane, good Field Division sixty three one ninety. I

894
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 2: thought it was out of central casting to be the

895
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 2: quarterback for the Jets. Once I got to UCLA, I

896
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 2: was fortunate to know this is what real athletes look like,

897
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 2: and you're not one of them. So the majority of

898
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 2: people don't end up and what the quote unquote their

899
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,240
Speaker 2: passion is, because what they realize is that's a hobby.

900
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 2: Art DJ modeling, athletics, nightlife, you know, designing a jewelry line.

901
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 2: The passion industries attract so much human capital that it

902
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 2: drives down the return on your human capital. There are

903
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:58,359
Speaker 2: one hundred and eighty thousand actors and actresses in Sagaftra.

904
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 2: These are the most talent creatives in the world, and

905
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,879
Speaker 2: it's not easy to get a union card. Last year,

906
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 2: eighty three percent of them didn't qualify for health insurance

907
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:11,240
Speaker 2: because they didn't make twenty three thousand dollars. So recognize

908
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 2: that if you're able to find something you're really good

909
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 2: at and it's in an industry with the ninety plus

910
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 2: employment rate, this is what's going to happen. Passion comes

911
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 2: from mastery and the economic accouterments of mastery of an industry.

912
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 2: Now no one grows up thinking I'd like to be

913
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 2: I'm passionate about tax law. But if you have the

914
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 2: skills and the discipline to get a lot degree and

915
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 2: you understand the intersection between the law and economics, and

916
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 2: you know how to handle clients, the best tax lawyers

917
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 2: fly private and have a larger selection set of mates

918
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 2: than they deserve. In the top ten or twenty percent

919
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 2: to have those sorts of accouterments. In a vanity industry,

920
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 2: you have to be in the point one percent. So

921
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 2: I don't want to crush anyone's dreams if you want

922
00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 2: to be a DJ or you want to be an athlete,

923
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,280
Speaker 2: but ring fence it and say, unless I get flashing

924
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:06,760
Speaker 2: green lights that I'm definitely in the top one percent.

925
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 2: And you'll know if you're the next messy people are

926
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 2: going to tell you. You'll know if all of a sudden

927
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:12,879
Speaker 2: you start getting invited to Vegas to DJ and people

928
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,879
Speaker 2: are willing to pay you to DJ, you'll know. You'll

929
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,479
Speaker 2: know pretty fast. But if you don't get those green

930
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 2: lines saying you're going to be in the one percent

931
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 2: really fast, maybe workshops something else that's not in the

932
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 2: romance industry and try and become good, slash great at it.

933
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 2: The guy who's installing my soapstone counter is the kind

934
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 2: of the marble guy or the granite guy in Marlebone.

935
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 2: This is a racky immigrant. We got to know each other.

936
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 2: He told me about what he does. Knows everything about marble,

937
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 2: knows everything about it, goes to the quarries, can talk

938
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,759
Speaker 2: about the veining and everything. Immigrated from Iraq about eighteen

939
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,399
Speaker 2: years ago. Started working for a guy got super into it.

940
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: He makes two point three million pounds a year top line.

941
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 2: He himself makes eight hundred thousand pounds a year as

942
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:02,320
Speaker 2: the soapstone marble guy. And he's become passionate about it.

943
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 2: The relevance, the accouterments, the economic security. And this is

944
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 2: what you become passionate about. Jay. You become passionate about

945
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 2: ten carre of kids, You become passionate about helping your

946
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 2: parents out, You become passionate about taking really nice vacations

947
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 2: with your partner. Anything that provides you with that stuff,

948
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,839
Speaker 2: you're going to become passionate about. So what I would

949
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: suggest is passion comes from mastery, artisanship, ninja like command

950
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:29,799
Speaker 2: of something, and also something that provides you with the

951
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 2: economic security. Then a capitalist society affords you an amazing life.

952
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:37,839
Speaker 2: So find your talent. That's your job. If you're good

953
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 2: at something, you can become great at it in an

954
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 2: industry with a high employment rate. Trust me, Trust me,

955
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 2: you're going to find passion.

956
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 1: And for those people who are sitting there going well,

957
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm talented at, Like I don't

958
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 1: even know what my talent is. I don't really have

959
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 1: anything that anyone's have a validated notice, recognized them pretty

960
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:56,960
Speaker 1: average everything. Where did they stop?

961
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 2: I think you want to build a kitchen cabinet of

962
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 2: people who you can see down at any job. First off,

963
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,320
Speaker 2: don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Just start.

964
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: When I was eighteen, I thought I was going to

965
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 2: be a pediatrician. Chemistry disallowed me that thought. It was

966
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 2: going to be an athlete. When I was fifteen, UCLA

967
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 2: disallowed me of that thought. I was going to be

968
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 2: investment banker. At twenty two disabused me of that thought.

969
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 2: I was going to be a healthcare consultant. When I

970
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 2: was in business school, and then I thought I don't

971
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:23,439
Speaker 2: know if I'd be any good at this. I ended

972
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 2: up in strategy and then analytics. I didn't know what

973
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:31,280
Speaker 2: strategy and analytics were. So try stuff. Be honest with yourself.

974
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,400
Speaker 2: If don't give up at the first time, if I

975
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 2: don't like it, well that just might be work. But

976
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 2: you'll start to get feedback on what you're good at

977
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 2: and what you're not good at, and workshop. But keep investing.

978
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,439
Speaker 2: Recognize it's hard to be great at anything, but you'll

979
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,359
Speaker 2: probably get a feel I mean at some point you

980
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 2: recognized you're a good storyteller, you have a nice voice,

981
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 2: you're good at this, right, And I imagine there was

982
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,880
Speaker 2: some things along the way you recognize, I'm not that

983
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 2: good at this. I'm trying hard, and I'm not that good.

984
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 2: I tried really hard to be a good investment banker.

985
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:03,919
Speaker 2: I had no natural skills at it. I just wasn't

986
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 2: good at it. And then when I got into consulting

987
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 2: and I took data and could frame it into a

988
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,400
Speaker 2: story where CEOs and cmos would listen to me and say,

989
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 2: you know, bring in that. I started a strategy form

990
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 2: called profit bringing them see what they think. I'm like, Wow,

991
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 2: we're good at this, maybe even we can them great

992
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 2: at it. So another again, group of kitchen cabinet, people

993
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 2: who can talk to you, people who can advise you.

994
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 2: Get started workshop. Okay, it's not the perfect job. I'm

995
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 2: not sure I'll be passionate about it. No, no, no,

996
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 2: if you can find something better, great. Until then, get

997
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 2: in the game, see what the opportunities are, and you'll

998
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 2: start getting market feedback on what you're good at or

999
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 2: not good at, and you'll start to click in, Wow,

1000
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 2: I really I'm pretty good at this and ask people

1001
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 2: around you ask for reviews. The compensation I think I

1002
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 2: provide my younger employees with. I'd like to think I'm

1003
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 2: good at this. Maybe I could be better as I

1004
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 2: talk about it. It's not only monetary. What young people

1005
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 2: need is feedback. If you are in a position as

1006
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 2: a boss to say, you know what, you're great with

1007
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 2: new employees. You make them feel welcome. Well, should I

1008
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 2: consider a career in recruiting or HR? You're great with clients?

1009
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, can you sell? You like to drink? You're

1010
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,759
Speaker 2: ridiculously obnoxious in a funny way. People want to go

1011
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:21,880
Speaker 2: out with you when they're in town. Boss, you should

1012
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 2: be in sales. You should be selling and you got

1013
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,239
Speaker 2: a decent iq. You should be selling database software for

1014
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 2: Oracle or CRM software for Salesforce, because you're going to

1015
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 2: make a half a million bucks by the time you're thirty.

1016
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 2: Taking people out in establishing relationships, get feedback, workshop stuff,

1017
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 2: but you'll start to absorb stuff. But you're never going

1018
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,359
Speaker 2: to find out you're good at cricket unless you pick

1019
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 2: up them out. You know you're just not going to

1020
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,720
Speaker 2: find out, So try as many things as possible. Surround

1021
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 2: yourself with people and give you an honest feedback, and

1022
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 2: keep workshopping stuff. Don't be afraid, don't you know, again,

1023
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 2: forgive yourself. If you're not a good investment banker, you're

1024
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 2: not cut out to be a doctor, you're not going

1025
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 2: to be an athlete. That's it's okay, it's out there.

1026
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,839
Speaker 2: Just keep showing up, keep showing up, keep trying, and

1027
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 2: you will hopefully find that thing. I don't want to

1028
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 2: say it's a guarantee. I think some people never find

1029
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,720
Speaker 2: anything they're great at. But in this economy, you should

1030
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:15,879
Speaker 2: be able to find something you're at least good at.

1031
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. I appreciate what you were sharing about the diverse

1032
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 1: roles you've had and again your mantra forgive yourself. And

1033
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 1: I look back at life as thinking that it would

1034
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:31,360
Speaker 1: be about finding or discovering the thing, and I realized

1035
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 1: it was so much more about collecting and connecting.

1036
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:34,839
Speaker 2: That's right, right.

1037
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,960
Speaker 1: It was like collecting ideas, collecting skills, and then at

1038
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 1: one point they all seem to connect. Even though you know,

1039
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 1: in the famous words of Steve Jobs, you can't connect

1040
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 1: the dots looking forward, you and you can looking backwards.

1041
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 1: And so now when I look back at my life,

1042
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, I remember doing work experience when

1043
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 1: I was like fifteen years old and I was told

1044
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:56,400
Speaker 1: to cold call three hundred companies and I had no

1045
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 1: idea what a cold call was or what we were selling.

1046
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 1: I was trained to do it, and it gave me

1047
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 1: an amazing experience to deal with rejection. And out of

1048
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,280
Speaker 1: the three hundred companies I called, I think two hundred

1049
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:10,359
Speaker 1: and ninety seven said no, but the three that said

1050
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 1: yes just gave me this exhilarating feeling. And then I

1051
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:19,760
Speaker 1: worked at Morrison's stacking shelves and doing extra database management

1052
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 1: work in the warehouse, and I remember what overtime felt like,

1053
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:24,760
Speaker 1: and I knew I got paid one point five times

1054
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:27,800
Speaker 1: as much when I worked at Extra, and I was like, oh, okay,

1055
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 1: that's what overtime feels like. And then I remember working

1056
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 1: in retail and I knew if I could sell a

1057
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 1: card to the customer to collect points, then I would

1058
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 1: get ten pounds extra on every card. And it was

1059
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 1: just fascinating to me that all of those experiences. And

1060
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 1: then I worked as a consultant at Accenture too, and

1061
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 1: again I don't think I was that great a consultant

1062
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 1: by their definition. Even though I did very well inside

1063
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 1: the organization, I picked up so many skills when it

1064
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: came to negotiation, presentation, deck building, understanding the needs, interesting

1065
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,280
Speaker 1: concerns of our clients and what they were trying to achieve.

1066
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 1: And none of that was my purpose. Yeah, and none

1067
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 1: of that was my field of excellence. I was not

1068
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 1: great to any of those things, but all of those

1069
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,760
Speaker 1: skills have become so valuable today.

1070
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 2: I love the way you say that, because when I

1071
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 2: look back on investment banking, it wasn't a failed experiment

1072
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:22,359
Speaker 2: because it had taught me attention to detail. It taught

1073
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 2: me to get up early and put on a tie.

1074
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,239
Speaker 2: It taught me sort of how to read a room.

1075
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,879
Speaker 2: It taught me how to write a proposal. It taught

1076
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:32,279
Speaker 2: me a little bit about the credit markets because I

1077
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 2: was in fixed income. What you said about being in

1078
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 2: the services industry are working jobs at Morrisons. That is

1079
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 2: really important because it gives you a sense. For one,

1080
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 2: no one owes you a living, showing up work and hard,

1081
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 2: getting along with people, developing a sense of grit. The

1082
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:52,439
Speaker 2: job you were talking about, the sales job. I think

1083
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,320
Speaker 2: everyone should be in a job where they endure it.

1084
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 2: They deal with the public because they realize that a

1085
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 2: lot of people aren't nice and you have to navigate that,

1086
00:54:58,280 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 2: or they're just not having a bad day where there's

1087
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 2: not having a good day. But also, and this is

1088
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 2: the key to my success, is my ability to endure rejection.

1089
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:09,879
Speaker 2: You know, if you want to score above your weight

1090
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 2: class economically, a romantically, get out a big spoon and

1091
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 2: get ready to eat shit. Because I applied to nine

1092
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 2: business schools, I got into two. I have. In high school,

1093
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,279
Speaker 2: I ran for sophomore, junior, and senior class president. I

1094
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,440
Speaker 2: lost all three times, and based on my track record,

1095
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 2: I decided to run for student body president, where I

1096
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 2: went on to wait for it, lose. I have had

1097
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 2: a lot of women tell me they're not interested in

1098
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 2: dating me. I have sent out thousands of emails to

1099
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:44,800
Speaker 2: potential clients for my strategy firm. I have pitched hundreds

1100
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 2: of venture capitalists on my way to raising money. And

1101
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 2: the reason why I am wealthier than your average bear

1102
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 2: and get to spend my life with someone who, on

1103
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 2: a risk adjusted scorecard, is exceptionally higher character and much

1104
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 2: more attractive than me, is because I was never afraid

1105
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:08,280
Speaker 2: to endure rejection. I always had the ability to endure

1106
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:10,919
Speaker 2: rejection more and move on. So if you aren't willing

1107
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 2: to endure rejection, if you aren't willing to take those

1108
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:17,120
Speaker 2: types of risks. My current partner I met at the

1109
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 2: Raleigh Hotel in South Beach. She was there with a

1110
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:23,239
Speaker 2: friend and another guy, and I promised myself I was

1111
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 2: going to speak to her. I was very drawn to her.

1112
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 2: Before I left, went out to get my car at

1113
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 2: the valet, got angry at myself, went back, walked right

1114
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 2: up to them and said, Hi, I'm Scott. Where are

1115
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 2: you guys from? And now our oldest son's middle name

1116
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 2: is Raleigh. You gotta be willing to endure rejection. And

1117
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:43,239
Speaker 2: here's the thing most people aren't. Most people will never

1118
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 2: invest in their own company. They're too scared to lose money.

1119
00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 2: Most people will not go up and speak to a stranger.

1120
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 2: This is something I forced my boys to do when

1121
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 2: we're out. I'm like, you gotta speak to at least

1122
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 2: one stranger. My oldest one has no problem with that.

1123
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,320
Speaker 2: My youngest has a little bit more of a difficult time.

1124
00:56:56,760 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 2: But the ability to open, the ability to call somebody

1125
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 2: when you were calling don't call me again. So what

1126
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:05,239
Speaker 2: I think you're saying is I should check back in

1127
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 2: two weeks, right, I mean, I can't imagine how much

1128
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 2: shit you must have eaten started a podcast, right, I mean,

1129
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:12,960
Speaker 2: it's not I got to start one with a co

1130
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 2: host who already had a following. Here's some kid out

1131
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 2: of accentsure starting a podcast, right, I mean it's just

1132
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 2: a lot of rejection. Yeah.

1133
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 1: We sent personalized letters and videos to one hundred people

1134
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 1: that we've really wanted on the show, and every single

1135
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 1: one of them said no in year one, and over

1136
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:34,160
Speaker 1: the last five years, every single one of them have

1137
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 1: been on the show, bar three maybe. And it just

1138
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 1: showed me that there was such a need to just

1139
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 1: be okay. I mean, I have a list of everyone

1140
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 1: was asking me who's your ideal podcast guest? And I'm

1141
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 1: a big soccer fan. We were talking about football earlier

1142
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 1: and I've supported Manchester Nights since I was a kid

1143
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,640
Speaker 1: in Christiano Ronaldo is my go And you know, I

1144
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 1: have a list of a history of dms to Christiano

1145
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 1: Ronaldo that he has never seen lear and responded to,

1146
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 1: and I can't wait for the day he sees them.

1147
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 2: You're just following the wrong club Ukaya Soker or Cole Palmer.

1148
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 2: I think they would come up this show you gotta

1149
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 2: go Arsenal or Chelsea. That's your fault.

1150
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my fault. That's my fault. It's the pain.

1151
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 1: I'm asking for the pain. But no, I couldn't agree

1152
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 1: with you more. And I love this mantra that you

1153
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 1: keep repeating forgive yourself, and it's such a powerful one.

1154
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 1: And you are going to make mistakes, you are going

1155
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,800
Speaker 1: to break things, you are going to get wrong. Maybe

1156
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 1: even one of those clients is never going to want

1157
00:58:29,200 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 1: to work with you again, and that's all going to happen.

1158
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 1: And I think we live in this protective space of like,

1159
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:39,320
Speaker 1: I never want to get anything wrong. I never want

1160
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 1: that person to ever say, oh I was too pushy

1161
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,840
Speaker 1: or too nudgy. And it's like, well they might and

1162
00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 1: they probably will anyway, someone will. And is that worth

1163
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 1: letting go of this amazing life that you envision and

1164
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 1: what you want to create.

1165
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 2: The only thing you can or the only thing I

1166
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,280
Speaker 2: feel like I can guarantee, is a certain amount of

1167
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 2: joy and a certain amount of tragedy in their life.

1168
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 2: And the ratio of the two is a function of

1169
00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 2: a lot of things, mostly when and where you're born.

1170
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 2: But what you want to do is try and set

1171
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 2: yourself up for so many deep and meaningful relationships that

1172
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 2: those ratios of joy to tragedy or are much greater.

1173
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:22,080
Speaker 2: So forgive yourself. But there's some great research. My colleague

1174
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 2: at NYU Adam Altru as a joint appointment at the

1175
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 2: business school and at the in the psychology department, He's

1176
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 2: done a ton of great research on end of life.

1177
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 2: He goes into palliative care facilities and he interviews people

1178
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 2: on their biggest regrets, and people get a lot of

1179
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 2: perspective at the end. They're never going to walk on

1180
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 2: the beach again. They're never going to hang out with

1181
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 2: their you know, really spend time with their loved ones.

1182
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 2: They're never going to work again, never go to go

1183
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 2: to a sporting match, what have you. Never you know,

1184
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 2: take their dogs for a walk again. So they don't

1185
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 2: have a lot to lose a lot of perspective, and

1186
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 2: their biggest regrets kind of come down to three things

1187
00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 2: in reverse order. Number three, they wish they spend more

1188
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 2: time with their friends. Number two, they wish they'd led

1189
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 2: the life they wanted to lead, not the life their

1190
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:08,920
Speaker 2: church or their family wanted to lead, or society was

1191
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 2: telling them to actsert in a way. But their number

1192
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:15,400
Speaker 2: one regret is they wish they'd been less hard on themselves.

1193
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 2: They wish they'd been kinder than themselves. Because when you

1194
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 2: look back on your failures, made a bad investment, this

1195
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 2: person didn't love me back as much as I love them.

1196
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 2: I got fired, I had a business fail. When you

1197
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: look back at the end and you have real perspective,

1198
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 2: you're going to be more upset about the way you

1199
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:40,360
Speaker 2: responded than what actually happened to you. Life isn't about

1200
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 2: what happens to you. It's about how you respond to

1201
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,640
Speaker 2: what happens to you. And recognize that emotion, the present

1202
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:52,800
Speaker 2: value of emotion is enormous. In the moment your disappointment,

1203
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 2: you're going to look back and think, the only you're

1204
01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 2: gonna be upset about is how upset you were at it.

1205
01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,960
Speaker 2: On the flip side, when things are going really well,

1206
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 2: all also recognize a lot of that is in your fault.

1207
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 2: You got lucky. You're in the right place at the

1208
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 2: right time. You had someone take an interest in you

1209
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 2: and work and promote you. You had a stock skyrocket.

1210
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:16,160
Speaker 2: Are you a great investor? No, you're lucky, and you're

1211
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:20,160
Speaker 2: never more prone to a big mistake professionally or personally

1212
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:23,120
Speaker 2: than after a big win, because you start believing it's

1213
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:27,440
Speaker 2: you and the time when you have a great investment,

1214
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 2: you have great relationships. What you want to do is

1215
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 2: try and pull in your horns a little bit and

1216
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:35,400
Speaker 2: be a little bit humble and as grateful as you

1217
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 2: can be, recognizing luck has been on your side. And

1218
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 2: like I said, if you want to lose a lot

1219
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,040
Speaker 2: of money, start believing that your great year in the

1220
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 2: market is because you're just really good at investing and

1221
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,640
Speaker 2: you should lever up because you're that smart. No, you're

1222
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 2: sticking your chin out.

1223
01:01:51,520 --> 01:01:55,600
Speaker 1: I love that advice, especially the humility part, and it's

1224
01:01:55,680 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 1: so interesting. Yeah, I remember reading a study that said

1225
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 1: that most founders who exit, they make their worst startup

1226
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 1: investments for the next two years that follows or exit.

1227
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,240
Speaker 1: And it's that same feeling if you start thinking it's you,

1228
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:09,920
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you. A lot of people right

1229
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 1: now are trying to decide between whether they double down

1230
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 1: on their career at the company they're at or the

1231
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 1: organization they're at, or have multiple revenue streams or side

1232
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 1: hustles and things on the side, How would you encourage

1233
01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:24,440
Speaker 1: people to evaluate where they put their efforts.

1234
01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 2: So another thing I've gotten shited on TikTok or i

1235
01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 2: hate side hustles. So if you're in a side hustle,

1236
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 2: that means a side hustle is a temporary means of

1237
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 2: investigating something else should become your main hustle. The way

1238
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:38,680
Speaker 2: you get wealthy and economic security is you find a

1239
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:41,120
Speaker 2: professional activity that you're good at, that you become great at,

1240
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 2: and you go all in on it. Because the difference

1241
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 2: success is in the last ten percent. So the guy

1242
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,800
Speaker 2: or gal that applies ninety percent versus the guy or

1243
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:51,680
Speaker 2: gal that applies one hundred percent, the latter is going

1244
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:54,840
Speaker 2: to get promoted faster, get options, awards, just make more money,

1245
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:59,560
Speaker 2: have recruiters calling them success is that extra oomph. If

1246
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:02,120
Speaker 2: you're doing a lot of side hustles, it's very, very

1247
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 2: difficult to be great at your main hustle. So fine,

1248
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 2: if you don't like your main hustle, but you need

1249
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,080
Speaker 2: it for health insurance, you need it for a base,

1250
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 2: and you want to investigate other stuff, but recognize the

1251
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 2: only way you're going to build real wealth and economic

1252
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 2: security is to go all in on one thing, and

1253
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 2: I've never been successful. I have two kind of let's

1254
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:25,560
Speaker 2: say complexions professionally. The first is I have balance. I'm

1255
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 2: working forty hours a week, decent lifestyle that for me

1256
01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 2: is called losing money. I've never been able to aggregate

1257
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:36,840
Speaker 2: wealth kind of having balance in my life. And then

1258
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 2: there's a point in my life and I'm not proud

1259
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 2: of this, but especially in my earliers, where stressed out,

1260
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 2: working all the time, heard on my fitness, hard on

1261
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 2: my relationships. That's when I'm usually making money. The marketplace

1262
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 2: is competitive, it demands a tremendous amount of you, but

1263
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 2: it's just it's I think it's more or less say hey,

1264
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 2: how do I have a sober conversation with myself? How

1265
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:04,760
Speaker 2: do I get forward fast? The best companies in the world,

1266
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,000
Speaker 2: I find are the most aspirational companies are the ones

1267
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:09,800
Speaker 2: that let you go flat out, that say to you,

1268
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:12,919
Speaker 2: Accentri says to you the following, go flat out here,

1269
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:17,680
Speaker 2: go just I mean, okay, have a hobby, have a relationship, fine,

1270
01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:20,120
Speaker 2: but go flat out here and we're going to give

1271
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 2: you your parents' life at the age of thirty or

1272
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 2: thirty five. Those are generally the best companies in the world.

1273
01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:28,040
Speaker 2: Some people decide they don't want that and they want

1274
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:30,920
Speaker 2: to do something they're excited about, fine or passionate about.

1275
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,439
Speaker 2: I get it. But if you're that guy or gal

1276
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:35,760
Speaker 2: with three or four different side hustles, you aren't going

1277
01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:39,120
Speaker 2: to be wealthy. That's a temporary means of finding your

1278
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:42,640
Speaker 2: main hustle. That means your main hustle isn't working. But

1279
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:45,800
Speaker 2: one hundred and ten percent on anyone, you know, Bill

1280
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 2: Gates didn't have a side hustle, My Angelou didn't have

1281
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:50,760
Speaker 2: a side hustle. Maybe they needed a maybe my Angelu

1282
01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:52,800
Speaker 2: needed a side job to pay for But at some

1283
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:57,400
Speaker 2: point you went all in on poetry and writing and oration.

1284
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:00,760
Speaker 2: That is greatness focus.

1285
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's such a great reminder. And I

1286
01:05:03,680 --> 01:05:06,720
Speaker 1: remember looking at something a few years back which was saying,

1287
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:08,960
Speaker 1: if someone was going to invest, let's say me and

1288
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:13,360
Speaker 1: you were going to invest one hundred hours into someone's development,

1289
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:15,560
Speaker 1: how would they split it between what they're good at,

1290
01:05:15,720 --> 01:05:18,200
Speaker 1: what they're average at, and what they're bad at. And

1291
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:20,400
Speaker 1: the majority of people will say thirty thirty thirty, right,

1292
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:23,440
Speaker 1: like thirty three, thirty three, thirty three, and some people

1293
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:26,520
Speaker 1: will say, oh, well, maybe I'll put twenty into what

1294
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 1: i'm good at, twenty into what I'm bad at, and

1295
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 1: then the rest into what i'm average at, sixty in

1296
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 1: the middle, and going back to your point, the most

1297
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:37,000
Speaker 1: successful people in the world will say one hundred zero

1298
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 1: zero or eighty ten ten because they know that if

1299
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,439
Speaker 1: they invest that much energy in something they're bad at,

1300
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:45,720
Speaker 1: they'll only ever be average at it, And if they

1301
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:47,960
Speaker 1: invest in something they're average out, they'll only ever be

1302
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:50,280
Speaker 1: okay at it. But if you invest in what you're

1303
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:53,680
Speaker 1: good at, you will become great. And I think we've lost, well,

1304
01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:56,400
Speaker 1: not lost, I don't think we've ever had that focus

1305
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 1: because you graduate at twenty one, you know, from a

1306
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:02,120
Speaker 1: regular degree, and then you never think you have to

1307
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 1: learn again. I think there is a sense if we

1308
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:08,920
Speaker 1: don't realize what good to great looks like, because you

1309
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 1: never ever have to grow again according to the way

1310
01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:15,040
Speaker 1: the education system set up in the belief system, at least,

1311
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:18,080
Speaker 1: what have you noticed about people who in an organization,

1312
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:20,320
Speaker 1: in a company go all right, I'm going to be

1313
01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 1: great here. What do they do differently? What do they

1314
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:25,760
Speaker 1: build mindset wise and also physically.

1315
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:28,880
Speaker 2: So we had at L two, which is the business

1316
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:33,800
Speaker 2: intelligence firm US sold twenty seventeen. We tracked everyone in

1317
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:37,200
Speaker 2: a lot of data and we found so and this

1318
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 2: isn't the hallmark version of HR, but I found generally speaking,

1319
01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:43,360
Speaker 2: you have five or ten employees that at one hundred

1320
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 2: and twenty percent of the value and everyone else is

1321
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:47,920
Speaker 2: negative twenty. That's not to say they're not important, but

1322
01:06:47,960 --> 01:06:49,920
Speaker 2: they require a lot of management, a lot of attention.

1323
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 2: They're good, not great. You can't just scale with great

1324
01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:55,080
Speaker 2: players because great people know they're great, and they demand

1325
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:58,919
Speaker 2: a lot of equity and compensation. But when we identified

1326
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:02,160
Speaker 2: that quote that a dozen superstars, we said, what do

1327
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:04,600
Speaker 2: these people have in common? And the three things we

1328
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:09,040
Speaker 2: found in common were one, they had gone to elite

1329
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 2: universities and I hate saying that, but they had generally

1330
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:17,680
Speaker 2: gone to really fantastic schools. Two, they had athletics in

1331
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:22,560
Speaker 2: their background, competitive athletics. And three and I didn't write

1332
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:26,520
Speaker 2: this down anywhere, they were almost always women. So a

1333
01:07:26,560 --> 01:07:30,280
Speaker 2: female from Yale who was on who was a gymnast

1334
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 2: there or a diver that was not amount of her.

1335
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,160
Speaker 2: I'm not saying we didn't hire someone unless you had sports,

1336
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:36,520
Speaker 2: but we generally looked for people at two of the three.

1337
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 2: We also hired men, but those were the three things.

1338
01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:42,360
Speaker 2: We found. People who had had some sort of competitive

1339
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 2: sport in the background, or had come from enough adversity

1340
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:48,600
Speaker 2: that they had to show a certain amount of grit

1341
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 2: and willingness to break through hard things. People who who

1342
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:56,160
Speaker 2: had pushed themselves really hard. You know. I wrote Crew

1343
01:07:56,240 --> 01:08:00,080
Speaker 2: in college, and crew is basically who was willing to

1344
01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:03,240
Speaker 2: endure more pain? And when I have my first job

1345
01:08:03,240 --> 01:08:06,240
Speaker 2: at Morgan Stanley, I realized I wasn't as skilled. I

1346
01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 2: did poorly academically and I wasn't as skilled as my peers.

1347
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:14,080
Speaker 2: So I thought, Okay, what can I control? Every Tuesday morning,

1348
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,040
Speaker 2: I'd come into work at nine am and I wouldn't

1349
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:19,680
Speaker 2: leave till Wednesday night at five or six pm. I

1350
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,200
Speaker 2: was twenty three, I was super fit, super strong. I

1351
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:25,400
Speaker 2: didn't have a relationship, I didn't have dogs. I'm like, yeah,

1352
01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:28,160
Speaker 2: I can work thirty six hours straight and I could

1353
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:30,439
Speaker 2: control that. And now is that healthy? Do you want

1354
01:08:30,479 --> 01:08:32,080
Speaker 2: to be doing that when you're thirty three or forty three,

1355
01:08:32,120 --> 01:08:34,479
Speaker 2: when you have kids? Know? But I could do that

1356
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:37,479
Speaker 2: when I was young, that grit, that perseverance. So I

1357
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:42,519
Speaker 2: look for people who have overcome obstacles, and also you

1358
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:45,559
Speaker 2: want them to act like owners, and you'll get a

1359
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:47,960
Speaker 2: sense for that. And that's why kind of the Silicon

1360
01:08:48,040 --> 01:08:50,080
Speaker 2: Valley mentality has worked in the sense that they give

1361
01:08:50,120 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 2: everyone equity, but people and you notice it. People who

1362
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:57,680
Speaker 2: see a wrapper on the ground and they pick it up.

1363
01:08:58,040 --> 01:09:00,240
Speaker 2: People who are thinking about clients, people are trying to

1364
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:03,720
Speaker 2: sell stuff, people who are at a social event and

1365
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 2: know someone who's good and recruit that person and then

1366
01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:08,519
Speaker 2: come up and say, Jay, this guy's the best video

1367
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:10,799
Speaker 2: editor in the world, and he's just world clad. He's

1368
01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:12,400
Speaker 2: a great athlete. I don't care what we put him

1369
01:09:12,439 --> 01:09:15,639
Speaker 2: to work on. She's just going to be amazing. People

1370
01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:19,040
Speaker 2: who act like owners, and then when you identify those people,

1371
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:20,880
Speaker 2: your job as a manager is to sit them down

1372
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:23,040
Speaker 2: and say, Okay, this is my path for you. I've

1373
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:26,800
Speaker 2: started a business intelligence firm. I'm very capitalist about it.

1374
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:28,800
Speaker 2: I used to sit these twelve people down and say

1375
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:32,760
Speaker 2: the following I've started this business intelligence firm. I'm going

1376
01:09:32,760 --> 01:09:34,800
Speaker 2: to build it to twenty million in revenues. These firms

1377
01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:37,280
Speaker 2: go for between six and ten times revenues. That's somewhere

1378
01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:39,439
Speaker 2: between one hundred and twenty and two hundred million. I'm

1379
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:41,120
Speaker 2: giving you one percent of the company. You're going to

1380
01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:42,559
Speaker 2: be here four years. You're going to work your ass

1381
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,559
Speaker 2: off between if we have this liquidity event, you're going

1382
01:09:45,600 --> 01:09:47,120
Speaker 2: to be make between a half a million and two

1383
01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:50,160
Speaker 2: million a year in equity. Don't go anywhere. If I

1384
01:09:50,240 --> 01:09:52,320
Speaker 2: do well, you're going to do well. And I would

1385
01:09:52,360 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 2: literally try and paint that accurate a picture. I wanted

1386
01:09:57,040 --> 01:09:59,000
Speaker 2: to make sure that the twelve best people are the

1387
01:09:59,120 --> 01:10:01,840
Speaker 2: kind of the top were sort of nailed to the floor.

1388
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:03,800
Speaker 2: They just couldn't leave. They're like, oh, this is like

1389
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:08,439
Speaker 2: I can't this. The opportunity here is just too too good.

1390
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,759
Speaker 2: But in a bit of a word's out. They demonstrate grit,

1391
01:10:11,920 --> 01:10:17,479
Speaker 2: they act like owners and also generally speaking, want to

1392
01:10:17,479 --> 01:10:20,640
Speaker 2: help other people. Good culture carriers. You know, there are

1393
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:23,720
Speaker 2: some people that are so good then they're competitive. I've

1394
01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:25,240
Speaker 2: had a little bit companies that are sort of the

1395
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:28,320
Speaker 2: island of misfit toys, people who are unusual or some

1396
01:10:28,439 --> 01:10:31,040
Speaker 2: quite frankly sometimes have some mental health issues. I'm like, yeah,

1397
01:10:31,040 --> 01:10:33,200
Speaker 2: if they had it all, they'd be a Google We're

1398
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,880
Speaker 2: going to figure it out for them because they're that talented,

1399
01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:39,519
Speaker 2: but act like owners, good to other people, and have

1400
01:10:39,680 --> 01:10:42,759
Speaker 2: demonstrated something in their background that shows grit.

1401
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:45,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love those. It took me a while

1402
01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:48,200
Speaker 1: as I was developing my team, and I really feel

1403
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:50,599
Speaker 1: like the people I have right now embody a lot

1404
01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:53,800
Speaker 1: of those characteristics that you mentioning, and I had to

1405
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:56,720
Speaker 1: grow as a leader in order to attract those individuals too.

1406
01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:59,200
Speaker 1: And it wasn't something that it was like, oh, you're

1407
01:10:59,200 --> 01:11:01,280
Speaker 1: just not finding the right peace people. There was work

1408
01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:04,200
Speaker 1: I had to do in who I had to become,

1409
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:08,360
Speaker 1: not just characterized, but quality and ability wise in order

1410
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:10,559
Speaker 1: to attract that and also being able to nurture that

1411
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,880
Speaker 1: effectively as well. And so I think as much as

1412
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:15,639
Speaker 1: so much of what we've been sharing today is about

1413
01:11:15,680 --> 01:11:17,640
Speaker 1: the person who's trying to work their way up, so

1414
01:11:17,720 --> 01:11:20,360
Speaker 1: much of this is for leaders as well in order

1415
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 1: to how to adapt and be different. I wanted to

1416
01:11:22,520 --> 01:11:24,600
Speaker 1: Scott focus on what you were mentioning a couple of

1417
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:28,000
Speaker 1: moments ago about the palliative care and you know, people

1418
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:30,400
Speaker 1: coming to the end of their life, and you know

1419
01:11:30,439 --> 01:11:31,800
Speaker 1: a lot of people do feel at the end of

1420
01:11:31,840 --> 01:11:34,400
Speaker 1: their life. I wish it didn't work that hard, you know,

1421
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:36,680
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have put too much energy into work. And

1422
01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:39,840
Speaker 1: almost sometimes I feel like that's a really easy thing

1423
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:43,400
Speaker 1: to say at that time because it almost doesn't matter anymore,

1424
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:46,040
Speaker 1: whereas when you're living it kind of does matter. It

1425
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:49,439
Speaker 1: comes back to what you said earlier. I remember saying

1426
01:11:49,439 --> 01:11:51,400
Speaker 1: to myself, and it goes back to what was that

1427
01:11:51,479 --> 01:11:53,600
Speaker 1: language you used by having a sober and conversation with

1428
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:56,880
Speaker 1: your own sober conversation with yourself. I remember many sober

1429
01:11:56,920 --> 01:11:59,559
Speaker 1: conversations with myself, and one of them was like, I

1430
01:11:59,600 --> 01:12:03,679
Speaker 1: can eat feel like I'll have the myth of balance

1431
01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:06,120
Speaker 1: for the next ten years, or I can work my

1432
01:12:06,400 --> 01:12:09,760
Speaker 1: absolute socks off for the next three years and then

1433
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:12,040
Speaker 1: be able to make more sense of everything. And I

1434
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:15,639
Speaker 1: chose the latter one, and that three years probably look

1435
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:18,320
Speaker 1: like more like six years or whatever it was. But

1436
01:12:18,479 --> 01:12:21,559
Speaker 1: that sober conversation was so powerful for me because I

1437
01:12:21,560 --> 01:12:25,160
Speaker 1: had to give up that myth of this perfect balance.

1438
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,840
Speaker 1: And you've kind of alluded to that in a lot

1439
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:31,720
Speaker 1: of this conversation. Today, someone could be listening to both

1440
01:12:31,720 --> 01:12:33,160
Speaker 1: of us and just be like, yeah, well, I don't

1441
01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:35,439
Speaker 1: want to be that successful. I don't want to be

1442
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 1: that competitive. I don't want it to be that way.

1443
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:40,320
Speaker 1: I just want to have a good life. I want

1444
01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:42,920
Speaker 1: to have a simple life. How does that work with

1445
01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 1: your philosophy and thoughts?

1446
01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,160
Speaker 2: Look, this is my way, it's not the right way.

1447
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:49,920
Speaker 2: With the advice I'm giving is there's some proximity bias.

1448
01:12:50,080 --> 01:12:52,760
Speaker 2: I teach it an elite business school. And when I

1449
01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:55,479
Speaker 2: survey these kids and I asked them what they expect

1450
01:12:55,600 --> 01:12:57,759
Speaker 2: me making in five to ten years, they all expect

1451
01:12:57,800 --> 01:12:59,880
Speaker 2: me in the top eighty percent of them, expecting me

1452
01:12:59,880 --> 01:13:02,160
Speaker 2: the top one percent of income earning households by the

1453
01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 2: time of thirty five. I'm like, Okay, unless you're a

1454
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:08,920
Speaker 2: genius and crazy talented, you're just gonna have to work

1455
01:13:08,960 --> 01:13:11,200
Speaker 2: your ass off. And then when they use words like balance,

1456
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:13,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, come on now. Having said that, some people

1457
01:13:13,880 --> 01:13:15,280
Speaker 2: don't want to live to work, they want to work

1458
01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:18,200
Speaker 2: to live. That's fine, God love you. Some people say,

1459
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:21,040
Speaker 2: and I get these people on my podcast, got or

1460
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:24,320
Speaker 2: they call in I just want to be a good citizen,

1461
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:29,439
Speaker 2: work a decent amount, have a good relationship with my spouse,

1462
01:13:29,479 --> 01:13:31,400
Speaker 2: and coach little league, and have a nice life and

1463
01:13:31,439 --> 01:13:33,479
Speaker 2: be an active member of my church. I'm like, great,

1464
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:35,840
Speaker 2: you can do that in America. That's not going to

1465
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:38,000
Speaker 2: work in La or New York or I mean, you

1466
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:40,479
Speaker 2: got to move to a lower cost neighborhood. And there's

1467
01:13:40,520 --> 01:13:43,920
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that. There's a lot of really happy people.

1468
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:44,920
Speaker 1: Know.

1469
01:13:44,960 --> 01:13:47,280
Speaker 2: The average household income now is sixty eight or seventy

1470
01:13:47,280 --> 01:13:50,080
Speaker 2: grand and I bet a lot of those households are

1471
01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:53,519
Speaker 2: very happy. They find strength and reward other places. That's

1472
01:13:53,520 --> 01:13:56,920
Speaker 2: absolutely there's nothing wrong with that. The majority of the

1473
01:13:56,960 --> 01:14:01,920
Speaker 2: young people I speak to to be making a lot

1474
01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:05,439
Speaker 2: of money or so, you know, I don't need to

1475
01:14:05,439 --> 01:14:06,840
Speaker 2: make a ton of money. I just want to live

1476
01:14:06,880 --> 01:14:09,040
Speaker 2: in New York, have a nice place, be able to

1477
01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:10,840
Speaker 2: have a couple of kids. I'm like, okay, that's a

1478
01:14:10,840 --> 01:14:13,720
Speaker 2: million bucks a year. I'm not talking about the way

1479
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:15,080
Speaker 2: the world should be. I'm talking about the way the

1480
01:14:15,120 --> 01:14:17,200
Speaker 2: world is. And if you expect to live in an

1481
01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:20,840
Speaker 2: American city and be able to send your kids, you know,

1482
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:23,559
Speaker 2: ensure you can absorb a health shock, give your kids

1483
01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:28,120
Speaker 2: the kind of life you want, take nice vacations. It's

1484
01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:30,040
Speaker 2: just a lot of money. The reality is, it's just

1485
01:14:30,080 --> 01:14:33,720
Speaker 2: a crazy amount of money. And you can control. You

1486
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:36,760
Speaker 2: want to lowyer burn, move to a place for the

1487
01:14:36,840 --> 01:14:40,240
Speaker 2: lower cost of housing, lower cost of living, more power

1488
01:14:40,479 --> 01:14:43,240
Speaker 2: to you. But the majority of the people I know

1489
01:14:43,280 --> 01:14:45,679
Speaker 2: in their twenties and thirties, and again this is proximity bias,

1490
01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:47,960
Speaker 2: because the people I hang out with expect to have

1491
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:50,760
Speaker 2: a lot of influence and a lot of economic security.

1492
01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:54,120
Speaker 2: And we all know that guy or gal who is

1493
01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:56,760
Speaker 2: in great shape, great relationship with their parents. It just

1494
01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:59,280
Speaker 2: seems to rain money on them as fit as a

1495
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:02,960
Speaker 2: food blog donates time at the ASPCA. Assume you are

1496
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:07,520
Speaker 2: not that person, right, Assume that you probably have to

1497
01:15:07,560 --> 01:15:10,880
Speaker 2: go all in on something if you wanna, I mean,

1498
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:15,080
Speaker 2: la living in New York. You're just going to have

1499
01:15:15,120 --> 01:15:18,680
Speaker 2: to be relatively successful to stay here. You don't have

1500
01:15:18,720 --> 01:15:21,040
Speaker 2: a birthright to live in Los Angeles or New York

1501
01:15:21,160 --> 01:15:25,040
Speaker 2: or London. And again it comes back to that sober conversation,

1502
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:28,519
Speaker 2: are you really willing to make the trade offs? If not,

1503
01:15:29,040 --> 01:15:32,520
Speaker 2: you can be happy in Lubbock, Texas. Most people can,

1504
01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:35,040
Speaker 2: and maybe you should be thinking about that that these

1505
01:15:35,479 --> 01:15:37,559
Speaker 2: people who expect to have a reasonable life in these

1506
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:41,080
Speaker 2: big cities. Okay, let's be honest about what that's going

1507
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:41,479
Speaker 2: to take.

1508
01:15:41,720 --> 01:15:45,160
Speaker 1: Scott, thank you for being so transparent and honest today.

1509
01:15:45,200 --> 01:15:48,560
Speaker 1: This has been so useful, insightful, and I really appreciate

1510
01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 1: your candor and honesty with so much of this because

1511
01:15:52,120 --> 01:15:54,679
Speaker 1: I think you are right that we can have really

1512
01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:59,400
Speaker 1: unhealthy false expectations and they can be reaffirmed and we

1513
01:15:59,439 --> 01:16:01,599
Speaker 1: can be on a wild goose chase for the rest

1514
01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:03,840
Speaker 1: of our lives, or we can get what you're doing,

1515
01:16:03,840 --> 01:16:08,160
Speaker 1: which is just straight talking, really simple, insightful advice that

1516
01:16:08,360 --> 01:16:12,320
Speaker 1: hopefully gets people having that sobering, honest conversation with themselves.

1517
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:17,360
Speaker 1: It's really refreshing. I think that it's very exciting to

1518
01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:19,720
Speaker 1: tell people to go chase stuff and do things, and

1519
01:16:19,760 --> 01:16:24,800
Speaker 1: then helping people actually self reflect and figure out whether

1520
01:16:24,840 --> 01:16:26,720
Speaker 1: they're ready for that and what that means and what

1521
01:16:26,760 --> 01:16:30,479
Speaker 1: that looks like is so important. And I wanted to

1522
01:16:30,840 --> 01:16:33,840
Speaker 1: we end every episode of On Purpose with a final five,

1523
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:37,080
Speaker 1: and these questions have to be answered in one word

1524
01:16:37,120 --> 01:16:40,400
Speaker 1: to one sentence maximum, although I will probably break my

1525
01:16:40,439 --> 01:16:43,719
Speaker 1: own rule, so Scott Galloway, these are your final five.

1526
01:16:44,479 --> 01:16:48,040
Speaker 1: The first question is what is the best wealth advice

1527
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:49,040
Speaker 1: you've ever heard.

1528
01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:51,559
Speaker 2: Or received or given find your talent?

1529
01:16:52,360 --> 01:16:55,120
Speaker 1: Second question, what is the worst wealth advice you've ever

1530
01:16:55,160 --> 01:16:55,880
Speaker 1: heard or received?

1531
01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:56,920
Speaker 2: Follow your passion?

1532
01:16:58,120 --> 01:17:01,080
Speaker 1: Question number three, how would you define your current purpose.

1533
01:17:01,360 --> 01:17:06,280
Speaker 2: To raise loving, patriotic men beautiful?

1534
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:12,240
Speaker 1: Question number four? Is it possible or how is it possible?

1535
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:14,240
Speaker 1: To create peace with money?

1536
01:17:15,120 --> 01:17:20,800
Speaker 2: Money is the means. The ends is deep and meaningful relationships,

1537
01:17:20,880 --> 01:17:24,400
Speaker 2: and money should just provide an absence from the stress

1538
01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:29,240
Speaker 2: that can get in the way of forming and nourishing

1539
01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:32,160
Speaker 2: deep and meaningful relationships. It's the means, not the ends.

1540
01:17:32,479 --> 01:17:34,240
Speaker 1: I want to unpack the last two answers because I

1541
01:17:34,280 --> 01:17:38,679
Speaker 1: think there's some really interesting material there. So it's so strange,

1542
01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:41,080
Speaker 1: isn't it. So I'm sure you've heard this story that.

1543
01:17:41,960 --> 01:17:45,759
Speaker 1: I mean, it's been told for years about the fishermen

1544
01:17:45,800 --> 01:17:48,120
Speaker 1: and the businessman. Yeah, yeah, right, You've heard the story

1545
01:17:48,120 --> 01:17:52,720
Speaker 1: a million times. It's like the fisherman goes to the businessman,

1546
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:54,880
Speaker 1: and the businessman looks at the fishermen and goes, what

1547
01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:57,280
Speaker 1: do you do all day? And the fisherman says, well,

1548
01:17:57,320 --> 01:17:59,519
Speaker 1: you know, in the morning, I go fishing, and then

1549
01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:01,840
Speaker 1: the afternoon I have a c st end and I

1550
01:18:01,880 --> 01:18:03,800
Speaker 1: hang out with my family and my friends, and I

1551
01:18:03,920 --> 01:18:05,439
Speaker 1: drink a little and then I go to sleep and

1552
01:18:05,479 --> 01:18:07,960
Speaker 1: do it all over again, and the businessman saying, like,

1553
01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:09,479
Speaker 1: that's what I want to get to. It's just that

1554
01:18:09,560 --> 01:18:11,760
Speaker 1: I build this business and then sold in did this

1555
01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:13,479
Speaker 1: and now I'm trying to come around like it's a

1556
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:17,679
Speaker 1: cute story, but in reality it's I don't know whether

1557
01:18:17,720 --> 01:18:21,320
Speaker 1: it stacks up. But there's this idea that people have

1558
01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:23,880
Speaker 1: that if I just want to spend time with people,

1559
01:18:23,920 --> 01:18:26,040
Speaker 1: why would I work so hard? But you just said, actually,

1560
01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:28,519
Speaker 1: sometimes if you don't have money, it can actually block

1561
01:18:29,280 --> 01:18:33,040
Speaker 1: our relationships. In what ways does scarcity or a lack

1562
01:18:33,120 --> 01:18:36,640
Speaker 1: of financial wealth create issues in our relationships?

1563
01:18:36,960 --> 01:18:38,640
Speaker 2: Well, one, if you're a man, women aren't going to

1564
01:18:38,680 --> 01:18:41,200
Speaker 2: be that attracted to you. Women are attracted to men

1565
01:18:41,240 --> 01:18:44,280
Speaker 2: for three reasons. Number three kindness, Number two intellect, and

1566
01:18:44,320 --> 01:18:47,800
Speaker 2: the fastest way to communicate intellect is humor. But the

1567
01:18:47,920 --> 01:18:51,919
Speaker 2: number one source of attractiveness and men is the ability

1568
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:54,719
Speaker 2: to signal resources. You don't even have to have resource point,

1569
01:18:54,920 --> 01:18:58,120
Speaker 2: but you have to demonstrate a plan that you're smart,

1570
01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:02,400
Speaker 2: you're hard working, and you have a plan. But there,

1571
01:19:02,560 --> 01:19:03,760
Speaker 2: let me ask you a question. Do you have a

1572
01:19:03,840 --> 01:19:06,599
Speaker 2: number where you're like, Okay, this is my number and

1573
01:19:06,920 --> 01:19:10,720
Speaker 2: that's when i'm That's when I'm aiming towards. Okay, So

1574
01:19:11,160 --> 01:19:13,120
Speaker 2: I did have a number, and I actually think it's

1575
01:19:13,160 --> 01:19:17,800
Speaker 2: sort of healthy because what I became addicted to was

1576
01:19:17,880 --> 01:19:21,439
Speaker 2: relevance and money. And when I sold my last company,

1577
01:19:21,479 --> 01:19:23,080
Speaker 2: I sold my last company for one hundred and sixty

1578
01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:26,320
Speaker 2: million bucks, and I thought, I'm going to go raise

1579
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:30,160
Speaker 2: three to four hundred million dollars, start a private equity fund,

1580
01:19:30,360 --> 01:19:33,120
Speaker 2: raise funds two and three. I have the contacts. I'm

1581
01:19:33,120 --> 01:19:35,720
Speaker 2: in the sweet spot because I'd like to be a billionaire.

1582
01:19:36,400 --> 01:19:38,559
Speaker 2: Scott Gallery billionaire just had a nice ring to it

1583
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:40,920
Speaker 2: for me. And then I had a friend passed away

1584
01:19:40,920 --> 01:19:42,400
Speaker 2: at a very young age, and it kind of sent

1585
01:19:42,439 --> 01:19:44,799
Speaker 2: me into a little bit of introspection and I thought,

1586
01:19:45,280 --> 01:19:48,679
Speaker 2: all right, I've hit my number. Unless I really screw

1587
01:19:48,760 --> 01:19:51,880
Speaker 2: up again. If I get four to six percent on

1588
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:55,240
Speaker 2: the money I have, I can live the life I want.

1589
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,559
Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, okay, why do I need more money.

1590
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:01,680
Speaker 2: I'm on this hamster where I've decided my worth as

1591
01:20:01,720 --> 01:20:05,960
Speaker 2: a man is a function of having more in what

1592
01:20:06,040 --> 01:20:09,080
Speaker 2: you realize, and it's hard to get off this hamster wheel.

1593
01:20:09,120 --> 01:20:12,000
Speaker 2: The money's just sinking your pen and it can help

1594
01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:14,879
Speaker 2: you write new chapters. It can make certain chapters burn brighter,

1595
01:20:15,240 --> 01:20:18,000
Speaker 2: but it's not your story. And this is a really

1596
01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:20,880
Speaker 2: good problem to have. But I think we have a

1597
01:20:20,960 --> 01:20:24,080
Speaker 2: virus in this nation amongst the super wealthy of hoarding

1598
01:20:24,120 --> 01:20:26,679
Speaker 2: money where they decide to keep. They want more money,

1599
01:20:26,720 --> 01:20:30,000
Speaker 2: they want more money. I don't. What Daniel Kahneman, the

1600
01:20:30,040 --> 01:20:32,679
Speaker 2: economic historian, teaches us is that above a certain amount,

1601
01:20:32,720 --> 01:20:34,920
Speaker 2: you get no incremental game for money. You don't get less.

1602
01:20:34,920 --> 01:20:38,040
Speaker 2: Billionaires are no less happy than millionaires, but they're no happier.

1603
01:20:38,479 --> 01:20:40,599
Speaker 2: And what I've decided is once I hit my number,

1604
01:20:41,240 --> 01:20:42,840
Speaker 2: you know, I love data. Every year I look at

1605
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:45,920
Speaker 2: how much money I made and I either spend it

1606
01:20:45,960 --> 01:20:48,640
Speaker 2: all or I give it away. And I want to

1607
01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:51,160
Speaker 2: be clear, I'm not a virtuous person. I love hanging

1608
01:20:51,160 --> 01:20:54,120
Speaker 2: out of the Beverlys Hotel. I love taking my friends

1609
01:20:54,120 --> 01:20:56,320
Speaker 2: to ask and I spend a shit. I spend money

1610
01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:58,960
Speaker 2: like I'm a gangster in the fifties, just diagnosed with

1611
01:20:59,040 --> 01:21:02,920
Speaker 2: ass cancer. I love spending money and if that sounds obnoxious,

1612
01:21:03,439 --> 01:21:06,400
Speaker 2: it is. And then anything above that, I give it away.

1613
01:21:06,479 --> 01:21:07,719
Speaker 2: And I don't do it to be a good person.

1614
01:21:07,760 --> 01:21:09,479
Speaker 2: I do it because it makes me feel masculine, it

1615
01:21:09,520 --> 01:21:13,160
Speaker 2: makes me feel patriotic, it makes me feel important, and

1616
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:15,960
Speaker 2: I just enjoyed. I didn't give away a dollar until

1617
01:21:15,960 --> 01:21:18,120
Speaker 2: I was forty, and now I'm trying to catch up,

1618
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:20,559
Speaker 2: and I really enjoyed. It's almost like consumption for me.

1619
01:21:21,240 --> 01:21:24,320
Speaker 2: But having a number is really powerful because you can

1620
01:21:24,360 --> 01:21:27,040
Speaker 2: say what's required to get to that number, and then,

1621
01:21:27,160 --> 01:21:29,479
Speaker 2: just as importantly, once you get to that number, get

1622
01:21:29,479 --> 01:21:32,640
Speaker 2: off the hamster wheel. Because this is the fear, and

1623
01:21:32,680 --> 01:21:34,719
Speaker 2: this is what I was headed towards. I'm an atheist.

1624
01:21:34,840 --> 01:21:36,160
Speaker 2: I think at some point I'm going to look into

1625
01:21:36,200 --> 01:21:38,240
Speaker 2: my kid's eyes and know that our relationship is coming

1626
01:21:38,240 --> 01:21:40,800
Speaker 2: to an end. But it's empowering for me. It makes

1627
01:21:40,840 --> 01:21:42,880
Speaker 2: me think about what I want at the end, and

1628
01:21:42,920 --> 01:21:46,280
Speaker 2: what I was barreling towards was the following having a

1629
01:21:46,280 --> 01:21:49,200
Speaker 2: lot of money, having a decent amount of influence, but

1630
01:21:49,320 --> 01:21:53,040
Speaker 2: never having really been in the moment or have the

1631
01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:58,080
Speaker 2: depth and meaning that I could have had amongst my partner,

1632
01:21:58,439 --> 01:22:02,519
Speaker 2: my sons, and my friends. And that all of a sudden,

1633
01:22:02,520 --> 01:22:05,040
Speaker 2: I thought, you know, when my friend passed, I thought,

1634
01:22:05,120 --> 01:22:08,120
Speaker 2: at the end, you know, you could just tell his

1635
01:22:08,240 --> 01:22:13,559
Speaker 2: relationships where everything the money meant fucking nothing. It was

1636
01:22:13,640 --> 01:22:17,200
Speaker 2: all about the relationship. My thad. Okay, the money has

1637
01:22:17,240 --> 01:22:20,240
Speaker 2: to be a means to the ends, and that is deep,

1638
01:22:20,280 --> 01:22:24,519
Speaker 2: meaningful relationships. But be careful. It can turn into a

1639
01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:27,519
Speaker 2: suicide pack. It can turn on you and you become

1640
01:22:27,560 --> 01:22:31,400
Speaker 2: so focused on the affirmation of strangers, which I'm addicted to,

1641
01:22:31,960 --> 01:22:34,840
Speaker 2: become addicted to money, that you spend way too much

1642
01:22:34,920 --> 01:22:39,960
Speaker 2: time thinking about additional money, success, relevance, and it comes

1643
01:22:39,960 --> 01:22:43,400
Speaker 2: to the cost of your relationships. I know so many

1644
01:22:43,400 --> 01:22:47,960
Speaker 2: incredibly impressive, successful people who don't get along with their kids,

1645
01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:51,599
Speaker 2: have a shitty relationship with their partner, and say, well,

1646
01:22:51,600 --> 01:22:54,280
Speaker 2: what's the point of all this? So I think it's

1647
01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:56,799
Speaker 2: healthy to have a number and then to be very disciplined.

1648
01:22:56,840 --> 01:22:59,400
Speaker 2: Once I have that number, I'm going to enjoy the

1649
01:22:59,439 --> 01:23:01,360
Speaker 2: money or I'm going to give it away. You don't

1650
01:23:01,360 --> 01:23:03,080
Speaker 2: need to be a billionaire. You're not going to be

1651
01:23:03,320 --> 01:23:04,600
Speaker 2: any happier.

1652
01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:07,519
Speaker 1: Beautiful answer. Before we go to the fifth and final question,

1653
01:23:07,560 --> 01:23:10,040
Speaker 1: I want to unpack the answer from before about you

1654
01:23:10,080 --> 01:23:13,519
Speaker 1: mentoring young men. I feel like a lot of young

1655
01:23:13,520 --> 01:23:16,639
Speaker 1: men that I speak to, listen to read comments from,

1656
01:23:16,920 --> 01:23:19,519
Speaker 1: hear from you. You see a lot of pressure. A

1657
01:23:19,560 --> 01:23:21,240
Speaker 1: lot of men these days feel a lot of pressure

1658
01:23:21,280 --> 01:23:22,960
Speaker 1: and a lot of stress, and some of them feel

1659
01:23:23,360 --> 01:23:27,640
Speaker 1: left behind, forgotten, confused, this to their place in society

1660
01:23:27,720 --> 01:23:31,639
Speaker 1: based on so many other things. At the same time,

1661
01:23:31,880 --> 01:23:34,080
Speaker 1: you're coming at from the angle that they need to

1662
01:23:34,080 --> 01:23:36,680
Speaker 1: take responsibility. There needs to be disciplined, there needs to

1663
01:23:36,720 --> 01:23:39,960
Speaker 1: be accountability. How do you what would you say to

1664
01:23:39,960 --> 01:23:42,160
Speaker 1: any young men who are listening right now, watching right now,

1665
01:23:42,240 --> 01:23:45,000
Speaker 1: who feel a lot of pressure, who feel a lot

1666
01:23:45,000 --> 01:23:47,160
Speaker 1: of stress, how would you address that?

1667
01:23:47,560 --> 01:23:50,880
Speaker 2: Well? First off, just the reality of the situation. Globally,

1668
01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:53,320
Speaker 2: no group is ascended faster than women. In the last

1669
01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:57,760
Speaker 2: thirty years. More women are seeking tertiary education globally now

1670
01:23:57,800 --> 01:23:59,600
Speaker 2: than men. And when you look at some nations that

1671
01:23:59,640 --> 01:24:02,679
Speaker 2: don't like women seeking a tertiarycagement, it really says something

1672
01:24:02,760 --> 01:24:04,840
Speaker 2: three women graduating from college for every two over the

1673
01:24:04,840 --> 01:24:09,120
Speaker 2: next five years. No group has fallen further faster in

1674
01:24:09,160 --> 01:24:13,320
Speaker 2: America than young men four times is likely to kill themselves. Jay,

1675
01:24:13,680 --> 01:24:15,880
Speaker 2: you're in a morgue with five people who have died

1676
01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:18,920
Speaker 2: by suicide, four of them are men, three times more

1677
01:24:18,960 --> 01:24:21,800
Speaker 2: likely to be addicted, twelve times more likely to be incarcerated.

1678
01:24:22,800 --> 01:24:24,280
Speaker 2: We don't have a homeless problem. We have a male

1679
01:24:24,320 --> 01:24:26,680
Speaker 2: homeless problem. We don't have an incarceration problem. We have

1680
01:24:26,720 --> 01:24:29,320
Speaker 2: a male incarcerat We don't have an opioid epidemic. We

1681
01:24:29,400 --> 01:24:33,080
Speaker 2: have a male opiate epidemic. A lot of the jobs

1682
01:24:33,120 --> 01:24:35,000
Speaker 2: that they relied on with a lot of college education,

1683
01:24:35,040 --> 01:24:38,719
Speaker 2: have been outsourced. The maturing later. There's a general sense

1684
01:24:38,760 --> 01:24:41,960
Speaker 2: that there's a lack of empathy for young men. If

1685
01:24:42,000 --> 01:24:44,680
Speaker 2: you had any special interest, gript killing themselves at four

1686
01:24:44,720 --> 01:24:46,479
Speaker 2: times the rate is the control group, you'd move in

1687
01:24:46,520 --> 01:24:50,479
Speaker 2: with programs. But because the advantage I received, my father received,

1688
01:24:50,479 --> 01:24:53,559
Speaker 2: there's a lack of empathy. So the first is to

1689
01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:56,600
Speaker 2: recognize I think that it is tough out there for

1690
01:24:56,680 --> 01:25:00,360
Speaker 2: young men, and to forgive yourself what I tell young

1691
01:25:00,360 --> 01:25:03,400
Speaker 2: men when I go back to the thing about the phone,

1692
01:25:03,880 --> 01:25:07,200
Speaker 2: Start getting into fitness, to start making some money. And

1693
01:25:07,240 --> 01:25:09,400
Speaker 2: the third thing we didn't talk about. You have to

1694
01:25:09,439 --> 01:25:11,080
Speaker 2: get out of the house every day and be in

1695
01:25:11,080 --> 01:25:14,200
Speaker 2: the company of strangers building something bigger than yourself. I

1696
01:25:14,240 --> 01:25:16,320
Speaker 2: don't care if it's work, I don't care if it's church,

1697
01:25:16,600 --> 01:25:19,400
Speaker 2: the sports league, a nonprofit. You have to be in

1698
01:25:19,479 --> 01:25:22,320
Speaker 2: the company of strangers. Because here's the risk and what's

1699
01:25:22,320 --> 01:25:26,200
Speaker 2: happening to young men. We have a new species developing

1700
01:25:26,520 --> 01:25:30,120
Speaker 2: of human, specifically young men who are sequestering from society.

1701
01:25:30,160 --> 01:25:34,439
Speaker 2: They're asocial, they're more prone to conspiracy theory, and they

1702
01:25:34,479 --> 01:25:39,960
Speaker 2: are essentially becoming totally isolated, almost like a new form

1703
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:44,559
Speaker 2: of asexual homo sapien. And you can see how it's

1704
01:25:44,600 --> 01:25:47,400
Speaker 2: happening because the most talented, well resourced people in the

1705
01:25:47,400 --> 01:25:52,040
Speaker 2: world are trying to convince young men that they don't

1706
01:25:52,040 --> 01:25:55,439
Speaker 2: need friends. They can go on Reddit or discord. They

1707
01:25:55,439 --> 01:25:58,200
Speaker 2: don't need to put on a tie or go through

1708
01:25:58,200 --> 01:26:01,639
Speaker 2: the rejection of interviewing. They can trade stocks or crypto

1709
01:26:01,920 --> 01:26:07,040
Speaker 2: on Robinhood or on coinbase. They don't need to get

1710
01:26:07,040 --> 01:26:11,719
Speaker 2: in shape, show humor, endure rejection, go out, have a plan,

1711
01:26:12,040 --> 01:26:19,559
Speaker 2: shower for God's sakes, approach strange women, be persistent, show manners, affection,

1712
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:24,040
Speaker 2: follow up because you got you porn. So we have

1713
01:26:24,200 --> 01:26:26,280
Speaker 2: a group of men who've been convinced they have can

1714
01:26:26,320 --> 01:26:29,080
Speaker 2: have a reasonable fact simile of life on a screen

1715
01:26:29,080 --> 01:26:33,240
Speaker 2: in an algorithm, and we're producing millions of these men.

1716
01:26:33,320 --> 01:26:36,439
Speaker 2: How many women have you met or how many times

1717
01:26:36,439 --> 01:26:38,599
Speaker 2: have you heard I know all these great women who

1718
01:26:38,640 --> 01:26:42,719
Speaker 2: are attractive, high character, professionally shit together, and they can't

1719
01:26:42,720 --> 01:26:45,479
Speaker 2: find men. No, they can, They just can't find any

1720
01:26:45,520 --> 01:26:47,840
Speaker 2: men they want a date. One in three men under

1721
01:26:47,840 --> 01:26:50,479
Speaker 2: the age of thirty has a girlfriend, two and three

1722
01:26:50,560 --> 01:26:54,160
Speaker 2: women has a boyfriend. Why Because women are dating older

1723
01:26:54,240 --> 01:26:58,200
Speaker 2: because they want someone who's more economically and emotionally viable.

1724
01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:01,120
Speaker 2: So I really think this is a crisis. I think

1725
01:27:01,120 --> 01:27:03,599
Speaker 2: there's variety things we need to do around education reform

1726
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:07,639
Speaker 2: that rewards more what I call boyish behavior and attributes.

1727
01:27:07,680 --> 01:27:09,920
Speaker 2: I think we need more freshman seats at universities. I'd

1728
01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:12,960
Speaker 2: like to see national service. I was just in Israel

1729
01:27:13,120 --> 01:27:18,080
Speaker 2: at the Nova Festival Memorial. I talked to a battalion

1730
01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:22,479
Speaker 2: of IDF soldiers one hundred and eighty like young, beautiful, strong,

1731
01:27:22,760 --> 01:27:27,280
Speaker 2: thin people handling semiotic weapons, learning a skill in the

1732
01:27:27,280 --> 01:27:31,160
Speaker 2: company of each other, learning, meeting mentors, meeting friends, meeting

1733
01:27:31,240 --> 01:27:33,920
Speaker 2: makes some of the lowest levels of young adult depression

1734
01:27:34,360 --> 01:27:36,840
Speaker 2: in a nation that has existential threats all around it.

1735
01:27:36,880 --> 01:27:38,960
Speaker 2: And I think it's because they for two to three

1736
01:27:39,040 --> 01:27:41,639
Speaker 2: years serving the agency of something bigger than themselves. I'd

1737
01:27:41,640 --> 01:27:44,559
Speaker 2: love to see national service. We need to shove more

1738
01:27:44,600 --> 01:27:47,240
Speaker 2: money in their pockets. Minimum wage of twenty five dollars

1739
01:27:47,280 --> 01:27:50,000
Speaker 2: an hour, child tax credit, more housing so they can

1740
01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:53,639
Speaker 2: afford a house, more vocational programming for men. Did would

1741
01:27:54,120 --> 01:27:57,200
Speaker 2: metal and autoshop go? So there are a lot of

1742
01:27:57,240 --> 01:27:59,200
Speaker 2: things we can do. But what I would tell the

1743
01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:03,320
Speaker 2: young men is it, let's be honest, it's difficult out

1744
01:28:03,360 --> 01:28:06,240
Speaker 2: there right now for you. Forgive yourself. It is hard

1745
01:28:06,320 --> 01:28:09,200
Speaker 2: for you. You need to start making some money. You

1746
01:28:09,240 --> 01:28:12,879
Speaker 2: need to get strong, and you need to start getting

1747
01:28:12,920 --> 01:28:15,920
Speaker 2: out every day out of the house. Home is seven

1748
01:28:15,960 --> 01:28:18,599
Speaker 2: hours a day, maybe eight for sleep. And you need

1749
01:28:18,640 --> 01:28:24,880
Speaker 2: to take your strong, young, incredible person out and start

1750
01:28:25,120 --> 01:28:31,799
Speaker 2: hunting lions, finding shit, making friends, finding mates and during rejection.

1751
01:28:31,880 --> 01:28:34,000
Speaker 2: Because you are a strong young man and you can

1752
01:28:34,080 --> 01:28:36,320
Speaker 2: handle it, but you need to get out of the house.

1753
01:28:36,680 --> 01:28:37,920
Speaker 2: You need to get out of the house.

1754
01:28:38,560 --> 01:28:43,040
Speaker 1: Great advice, Great advice. Lovelet'score. Fifth and final question. If

1755
01:28:43,080 --> 01:28:45,880
Speaker 1: you could create one law that everyone in the world

1756
01:28:45,880 --> 01:28:47,439
Speaker 1: had to follow, what would it be.

1757
01:28:48,000 --> 01:28:50,800
Speaker 2: No economic policy can ever get in the way of love.

1758
01:28:51,400 --> 01:28:53,599
Speaker 2: You can't have family law court that ends up where

1759
01:28:53,680 --> 01:28:56,479
Speaker 2: dads one in three dads have no contact with their

1760
01:28:56,560 --> 01:28:59,160
Speaker 2: kids in six years. All right, that We need to

1761
01:28:59,200 --> 01:29:02,679
Speaker 2: reconfigure the law. We can't have people work forty hours

1762
01:29:02,720 --> 01:29:04,840
Speaker 2: a week and be in poverty, Like, how can they

1763
01:29:05,240 --> 01:29:08,240
Speaker 2: How can they be good dads right or good moms?

1764
01:29:08,280 --> 01:29:10,960
Speaker 2: How can they have a loving relationship with their spouse

1765
01:29:10,960 --> 01:29:14,479
Speaker 2: when they're in poverty working forty hours. Anything that gets

1766
01:29:14,520 --> 01:29:19,680
Speaker 2: in the way of deep and meaningful relationships has to

1767
01:29:19,720 --> 01:29:23,800
Speaker 2: be done away with or reconfigured. This is the whole

1768
01:29:23,840 --> 01:29:28,400
Speaker 2: shooting match. None of this matters growth AI GDP growth.

1769
01:29:29,360 --> 01:29:32,320
Speaker 2: None of it means a fucking thing If you can't

1770
01:29:32,320 --> 01:29:36,200
Speaker 2: have deep and meaningful relationships. Anything that gets in the

1771
01:29:36,200 --> 01:29:42,040
Speaker 2: way of that. The parent child relationship, stresses marriages, results

1772
01:29:42,040 --> 01:29:45,879
Speaker 2: in teens engaging in self harm. We need new laws,

1773
01:29:46,280 --> 01:29:48,400
Speaker 2: new laws. Nothing can get in the way of that.

1774
01:29:48,920 --> 01:29:51,200
Speaker 1: Scott Galloway Everyone in. The book is called The Algebra

1775
01:29:51,320 --> 01:29:55,200
Speaker 1: of Wealth, a Simple Formula for financial security. The podcast

1776
01:29:55,280 --> 01:29:59,400
Speaker 1: is called The prof g Podcast. Subscribe if you haven't already. Scott,

1777
01:29:59,439 --> 01:30:01,439
Speaker 1: thank you for your work, honestly, thank you for thank

1778
01:30:01,439 --> 01:30:03,280
Speaker 1: you taking the time to be here today. I hope

1779
01:30:03,280 --> 01:30:05,800
Speaker 1: this is the first of many conversations. I really hope

1780
01:30:05,840 --> 01:30:07,720
Speaker 1: I get to know you better and I appreciate it.

1781
01:30:07,880 --> 01:30:10,200
Speaker 1: I can add you to my kitchen cabinet. I would

1782
01:30:10,200 --> 01:30:13,960
Speaker 1: be true honor, and honestly I love the work you're doing.

1783
01:30:13,960 --> 01:30:15,640
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan and if I can ever be

1784
01:30:16,200 --> 01:30:18,880
Speaker 1: helpful and supportive in any way, then then I'm right here.

1785
01:30:18,920 --> 01:30:19,840
Speaker 1: So please know that.

1786
01:30:20,080 --> 01:30:22,240
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. And congrats on all your success.

1787
01:30:22,760 --> 01:30:25,200
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Thank you, Scott, Thank you so

1788
01:30:25,360 --> 01:30:28,840
Speaker 1: much for listening to this conversation. If you enjoyed it,

1789
01:30:28,920 --> 01:30:32,960
Speaker 1: you'll love my chat with Adam Grant on why discomfort

1790
01:30:33,160 --> 01:30:36,360
Speaker 1: is the key to growth and the strategies for unlocking

1791
01:30:36,680 --> 01:30:39,439
Speaker 1: your hidden potential. If you know you want to be

1792
01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:42,280
Speaker 1: more and achieve more this year, go check it out

1793
01:30:42,560 --> 01:30:43,080
Speaker 1: right now.

1794
01:30:43,280 --> 01:30:45,960
Speaker 3: You set a goal today, you achieve it in six months,

1795
01:30:46,360 --> 01:30:49,360
Speaker 3: and then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief.

1796
01:30:49,400 --> 01:30:51,519
Speaker 3: There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of

1797
01:30:51,560 --> 01:30:53,640
Speaker 3: expected it, and you would have been disappointed if it

1798
01:30:53,640 --> 01:30:54,280
Speaker 3: didn't happen.