1 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: episode is going to be a longer one part of 4 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 1: the series where I interview fascinating people about how they 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: take their days from great to awesome and any advice 6 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: they have for the rest of us. So today I 7 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: am delighted to welcome Gretchen Ruben to the show. Gretchen 8 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: hosts the Happier Podcast with her sister Elizabeth Kraft. She's 9 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: also the author of several books, including The Happiness Project 10 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,879 Speaker 1: and Better Than Before. She's coming to us from New 11 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: York City. Gretchen, Welcome to the show. 12 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be talking to you. Laura. 13 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, why don't you tell our listeners a little 14 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: bit about yourself and what you're up to these days? 15 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,240 Speaker 2: Well as you as you say, I'm in New York City, 16 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 2: you perhaps here a siren of. 17 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: The background, sirens in the back, see. 18 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 2: A little bit of a local flavor. So I'm all right. 19 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 3: I do many things, as one does, but I'm a 20 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 3: writer and I have a book coming out of the 21 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 3: spring called Secrets of Adulthood, which is all of the 22 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 3: secrets of adulthood that I. 23 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 2: Have learned the hard way. 24 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 3: I was collecting them to give to my daughters, but 25 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 3: then I realized I need to remember these for myself 26 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 3: just as much, and so I'm really excited to be 27 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,639 Speaker 3: doing that. And then I'm also working on a project 28 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 3: about the Empty Nest because my younger daughter just went 29 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 3: off to college, and so I'm very you know, I 30 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 3: think that the empty Nest, which Laura, you are very 31 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,680 Speaker 3: far away from this period of life. But what's interesting 32 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 3: about it is that it's a forced reckoning. And I think, 33 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 3: I mean, one of the things you talk about all 34 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 3: the time is like the need to reflect and really 35 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 3: step back and think about how am I using my time? 36 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:39,839 Speaker 2: How am I using my energy? 37 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 3: Is there a better way that I could be using 38 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,680 Speaker 3: my time and my energy and to have the life 39 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 3: that I want? And I think for a lot of people, 40 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 3: because there's such a dramatic shift and our relationships and 41 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 3: our space and our habits, and it's just a time 42 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 3: where people naturally, even if they don't want to, sometimes 43 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 3: step back and think about, Okay, what do I want 44 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 3: from life? 45 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 2: Anyway? So it's an interesting it's an interesting time to study. 46 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm always a fan of reflection, and yes, 47 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: I'm a long way from the empty years, empty nest 48 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: years with my little one, but I do have an 49 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: older child going off to college in the fall, so 50 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,359 Speaker 1: we'll start to at least experience the emptying emptying. 51 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I was being at the open door because 52 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 3: I think that sounds much more positive. Right, So your door, 53 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 3: you will have an open door with people coming and going. 54 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 1: For a very long time, probably a lot of people 55 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: coming and going a lot. Yes, well, I'm curious Gretchen 56 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: about I mean, you have so many things going on 57 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: between the podcast, the writing projects, and you know, running 58 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: your business, which brings lots of different happiness content to people. 59 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: Maybe you can tell us a little bit about your 60 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: daily schedule or first do you have Do you have 61 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: a morning routine? People love to hear about that on 62 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: this show. 63 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 3: Yes. Well, this might sound a little bit alarming to 64 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 3: the people who are not mourning people, but I get 65 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 3: up at five am because whenever I'm doing a very 66 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 3: intense creative work, I find it much easier to do 67 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 3: in the morning because the world is quiet, my mind 68 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 3: is quiet, and so when I'm doing something original, like 69 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 3: I'm working on this this project empty nest. I'll get 70 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 3: up so that from like five to nine I can 71 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 3: really dedicate myself to that, or if there's something that 72 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,640 Speaker 3: I'm really dreading, like even if it's an email that is. 73 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 2: Just like horrible. Because I am such a morning person, 74 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 2: I always think, Okay, I'm gonna do that. 75 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 3: I'm going to wake up and do that first thing 76 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 3: in the morning because I know that's like my clearest mind, 77 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 3: my highest energy, and my my highest focus. 78 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 2: And then it's then. 79 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 3: At like at nine am, I'm enough folder in the 80 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 3: four Tennessee framework, and I know you are too, Laura. 81 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 3: So at nine am and so I walk my dog 82 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 3: at some point, and then at nine am I have 83 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 3: breakfast and then sort of my real day starts, and 84 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 3: that's when I start doing things like answering. 85 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 2: Emails, having meetings. Sometimes I'll meet somebody for breakfast even 86 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 2: though you know I've been up for a really long time. 87 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: More like lunch you at that point, right. 88 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 2: And so so so my. 89 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 3: So what I like about the early morning for me 90 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 3: as a morning person is that's very consistent, like nothing 91 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 3: really interrupts it, because not that many things happened before 92 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 3: nine am. So I can count on that time, and 93 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 3: then the rest of my day starts being you know, 94 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 3: I'm exercising, I do high intensity weight training. 95 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 2: You know, I go to the MET every day, so 96 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 2: I have to fit that in. 97 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 3: Then I start having I would like to live as 98 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 3: a monk, where like every day is exactly the same, 99 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 3: but I can't. 100 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 1: Well, much as we might try, I know, but yeah, 101 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: so when does that Met visit tend to happen? Because 102 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: that sounds like a pretty fantastic work break for people 103 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 1: who don't know Gretchen goes to the Metropolitan Museum of 104 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,920 Speaker 1: Art almost every day. Yes, yes, so yeah, when does 105 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:42,280 Speaker 1: that happen? 106 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 3: So I'm super lucky that I live within walking since 107 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,159 Speaker 3: of the men. Of course, I never take that for granted. 108 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 3: I'm super super fortunate. What I realized is that I 109 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 3: needed time in the day where I could just have recess, 110 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 3: where I could just let my mind off the leash 111 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 3: and just kind of wander. And so when I was 112 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 3: working my book Life in Five Senses, I decided to 113 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 3: go to the MET every day, just because I was like, 114 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 3: how will it change over the course of a year 115 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 3: as I if I went every day, and then that 116 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 3: isn't open on Wednesdays, so I can't I can on 117 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 3: leave you six days a week. 118 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 2: But it's amazing, Like I love it more all the time. 119 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 3: Like I that that year was years ago now and 120 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 3: I still go every day that I'm in New York 121 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 3: City and uh, And it's just I go for as 122 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 3: longer as short as I want, and I just wander around, 123 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 3: I go to I just do whatever I feel like. 124 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 3: Sometimes I see a new exhibits, sometimes I go back 125 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 3: to my old favorites. It's just so it's a really 126 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 3: it's a treat in my Dayah. Another thing that I 127 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 3: do is I take a nap every day there If 128 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 3: you look at the research, there's huge amounts of research 129 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 3: about the benefits of taking a nap, and I take 130 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 3: like it's almost like always a twenty two minute nap, 131 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 3: even though I don't set an alarm. 132 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 2: And I do find that that helps me like get 133 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 2: a kick of energy as well. 134 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 3: So I'm trying to space the nap and the mets 135 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 3: so that I can kind of maintain my energy throughout 136 00:05:59,680 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 3: the day. 137 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 2: Focus. 138 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious about the nap. I am not a 139 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: very good napper. So how do you how do you 140 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 1: get yourself down to sleep and and then you know 141 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 1: also and ensure that you are you know, not groggy 142 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: waking up and things like that. 143 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think now my father is like a champion napper, 144 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 3: so maybe part of this is genetic and I just 145 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 3: have good napping genes. 146 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 2: But what I found, I just encourage people to try it. Now. 147 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 3: I think if you're if you're kind of chronically underslept, 148 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,679 Speaker 3: you might find that you would drop into a deep 149 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 3: sleep of like an hour and a half if you could. 150 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 3: So I'm not that I'm asleep zealot, so I'm I'm 151 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,720 Speaker 3: very well well rested. So my naps like I just 152 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 3: lie down. If there's something really important where I have 153 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 3: to be awake, I set an alarm just basically so 154 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 3: I don't worry about waking up in time. But usually 155 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,599 Speaker 3: I just said, I'll listen to a podcast, like a 156 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 3: very kind like an in Our Time or some kind 157 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 3: of like gentle podcast that's not that engaging, but you know, 158 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 3: interesting enough to hold my attention. But then I just 159 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 3: drift off and I don't go that deeply into sleep, 160 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 3: and then I just kind of automatically come back after 161 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 3: about twenty two minutes, and it takes a few minutes 162 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 3: to kind of wake up. Like a lot of times 163 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 3: I'll brush my teeth or wash my face or something 164 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 3: just to kind of wake myself up. But I do 165 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 3: find that it really does restore my energy and my focus, 166 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 3: and so I would encourage people to experiment with it. 167 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 2: It's also the kind of. 168 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 3: Thing that one part of your life it might not 169 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 3: have worked, but now it might. Like if you had 170 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 3: little kids and you were being your night sleep was 171 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 3: really disrupted, this might you might be hard to take, 172 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 3: sort of like a like a short nap the way 173 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 3: I am, But if it works for you, it really 174 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 3: can be powerful. 175 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: Excellent all right, So between going to the met and 176 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 1: taking a nap sounds like an excellent way to put 177 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: some breaks into your work. 178 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 2: Well here's another thing. 179 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 3: Dan Pink, who wrote a book about time, I had 180 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 3: the idea of the napucina, which is you drink a 181 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 3: big cup of coffee or something with a lot of caffeine. 182 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 3: Because it takes about twenty five minutes for caffeine to 183 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 3: hit your bloodstream, So if you have a nappucino, you'll 184 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 3: like automatically wake up with a kick off caffeine. 185 00:07:58,480 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 2: So that's another. 186 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: That's another for the Life Ack There Life Actino, nap Pacino. 187 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 1: All right, well, We're going to take a quick ad 188 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: break and then I will be back with more from 189 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 1: Gretchen Ruben. Well, I am back interviewing Gretchen Rubin, who 190 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: is the author of The Happiness Project co host of 191 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: the Happier Podcast. So, Gretchen, we are coming into the 192 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: new year here end of twenty twenty four, beginning of 193 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,599 Speaker 1: twenty twenty five when this is airing. Are you the 194 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:37,079 Speaker 1: sort of person who sets New Year's resolutions or are 195 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: you not? 196 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 2: Oh, one hundred percent I am. I'm like the most 197 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 2: of that. 198 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 3: Yes, you might even say I've almost built my career 199 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 3: around making resolutions. 200 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: So why don't you talk a little bit about what 201 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: they tend to look like for you? 202 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 3: Well, over time, what I've learned is that resolutions work 203 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,199 Speaker 3: best when they're very conk and they're manageable, and they 204 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,079 Speaker 3: focus on actions not outcomes. 205 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 2: And so you know, I found that like saying something. 206 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 3: I like, I want to visit the met more often 207 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 3: isn't as successful as visit the met every for ten 208 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 3: minutes every day, or not like read more but read 209 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 3: for a half an hour every day where there's something 210 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,320 Speaker 3: where or what's even harder is when people put in 211 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,319 Speaker 3: it as something like well I want to learn Italian. 212 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 3: Well that's such a vague, morphous and almost kind of 213 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 3: like impossible aim that you're you're gonna fall short of 214 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 3: it and feel frustrated. 215 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 2: But if it was like use a. 216 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 3: Language learning app to learn five new vocabulary words every week, 217 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 3: that you could do and so I and I made 218 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 3: this mistake in twenty twenty four because I was like, 219 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 3: learn the watercolor, and it just part of it. Part 220 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 3: of what happened is I like I actually took a 221 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 3: class and I like cleared my calendar and spent the 222 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 3: money and got friends to do it with me, and 223 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 3: then I had a terrible, terrible teacher, and so I 224 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 3: felt like I was like I almost felt like I 225 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 3: had been cheated. 226 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 2: And then I was like, what it took all this 227 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 2: time from me? 228 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:07,199 Speaker 3: And so like now I don't want to put more time, 229 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 3: which is obviously irrational, and yet it kind of kind 230 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 3: of soured my view. 231 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 2: But for twenty twenty five, I'm. 232 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 3: Really breaking it into like do watercolor every single day. 233 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 3: That can include just watching a video or reading reading 234 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 3: something about water coloring, but like, every single day do 235 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,319 Speaker 3: something that like connects me to the practice of water color. 236 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 3: And I want to do a postcard once a month 237 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 3: and send it to somebody, so that again it's like 238 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,679 Speaker 3: that's something that like a January, I'll give myself a 239 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:35,079 Speaker 3: check mark. 240 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 2: In February, I'll give myself a check mark. 241 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 3: One of my resolutions is to create stations where I 242 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 3: can work on it, so it's like, Okay, well, if 243 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 3: I'm doing watercolor, that can be kind of messy. 244 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,679 Speaker 2: Where am I going to do it in my apartment? 245 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:46,439 Speaker 2: Can I leave it out? 246 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 3: It's out all the time, so I don't have to 247 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,079 Speaker 3: constantly fuss with it. So I broke it into individual 248 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 3: steps so that I can be like, yes, I'm doing this, 249 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,040 Speaker 3: I'm maintaining my materials. Yes I'm doing this, because what 250 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 3: I found is like I went, I loved all the 251 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 3: materials and like buying the paper and the pens and 252 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 3: the brushes, but it's like, okay, but you've got that stuff, 253 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 3: now you're going. 254 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 2: To do the painting. 255 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 3: So twenty twenty five is like, okay, not going to 256 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 3: put brush to paper. 257 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 2: But I really broke it down and make it manageable. 258 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: Well, and the idea of sending a postcard a month 259 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: as a way to hold yourself accountable. 260 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 3: For absolutely, Like there's a thing that I that I'm 261 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,080 Speaker 3: aiming to do that will be satisfying. And I have 262 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 3: a book where it's like watercolor paper made into postcards. 263 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,480 Speaker 3: So it's just like a very it will be a 264 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:34,199 Speaker 3: very easy thing. It's all kind of ready to go, right. 265 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 3: But that is about accountability. 266 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I imagine that's like one of the things 267 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,680 Speaker 1: that people what you're talking about as you are setting 268 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 1: these goals. What people tend to get wrong as they're 269 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: setting resolutions is that they tend to be vague. They 270 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: haven't thought through what it's going to look like in 271 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 1: their actual days or where it's going to fit in 272 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 1: their schedule or in their apartment, as the case may be. 273 00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: There's no accountability, Like how will I know if I've succeeded, right, Like, 274 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: I don't know, Like you could spend a lifetime learning Italian, 275 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: so it's kind of hard to say, like if I 276 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: succeeded at this goal or not. Yes, So, yeah, are 277 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 1: there any other pitfalls that people tend to have with these. 278 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 3: Well, we were talking about accountability, and I don't want 279 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 3: to get into my whole four tendencies personality framework because 280 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 3: it takes like a minute to go through it. This 281 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 3: is a framework that device people into upholders, questioners, obligers, 282 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,040 Speaker 3: and rebels. If people want to learn more than can 283 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,320 Speaker 3: goet to Gretchen roomin dot com slash quiz and take 284 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,439 Speaker 3: the quiz and you'll learn all about it and all 285 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 3: will be revealed about your personality. But the key thing 286 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,559 Speaker 3: for a lot of people is to know that for 287 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 3: the biggest group of people, obligers of the four, they 288 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,680 Speaker 3: need outer accountability even to meet an inner expectation. So 289 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 3: if they want to read more, they need to join 290 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 3: a book group or you know, have an accountability buddy, 291 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 3: or tell their kids while you're reading for school, I'll 292 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 3: read for school. And if I'm not reading, you don't 293 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,080 Speaker 3: have to do your reading, you know. So now your 294 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 3: kids are holding your accountable. They need accountability. Now I'm 295 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 3: an upholder, so I don't need accountability in the same way. 296 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 2: But to your point, it's. 297 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 3: Satisfying to have milestones that you can demonstrably meet so 298 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 3: that you know, like I am making progress, I am 299 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 3: doing what I said I would do, I am seeing 300 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 3: that I am passing these milestones and so and again. 301 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,560 Speaker 2: It's sort of like training for the marathon. 302 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,199 Speaker 3: Sometimes people think like, I want to if I want 303 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 3: to run more, I should train for the marathon. But 304 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 3: sometimes what happens is people run the marathon and then 305 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,679 Speaker 3: they never run again, or they do thirty days of 306 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 3: yoga and then they never do yoga again. It's important 307 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 3: to think of things as milestones. These are milestones that 308 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 3: we will pass but in the continuation of a habit forever. 309 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 3: So my twelve postcards are important, but it's like it's 310 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,560 Speaker 3: not like, oh, I've done my twelve postcards. Now. If 311 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,199 Speaker 3: I just sat down and did my twelve postcards, I'm done. 312 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,600 Speaker 3: Done every second, right, The twelve post cards are more 313 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,560 Speaker 3: like to give me milestones of like, okay, I see 314 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 3: that I'm making progress, so that i'm and I'm moving 315 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:56,440 Speaker 3: through it more than sort of like okay, now I'm done. 316 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, and we want to make it doable in daily 317 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 1: life too. I mean, it's something like I'm to do 318 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: some watercolor, but you're not saying I'm gonna do six 319 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 1: hours of watercolor every. 320 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 3: Day, well exactly, and even saying something like I could 321 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 3: watch like let's say I'm stuck in a car. I 322 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 3: could watch a video on YouTube about watercolor and that 323 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,560 Speaker 3: would count. I'm like, I'm going to lower the bar 324 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 3: a lot so that I don't feel like, well, I 325 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,520 Speaker 3: have to abandon this because it's just not realistic. It's like, okay, well, 326 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 3: even if I'm just reading this article that I printed 327 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 3: out from the internet about. 328 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 2: You know, what is dry on dry, I don't know, 329 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 2: you know, because I had such a bad tea shirt. 330 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 2: She didn't explain that to me. So it's like, any 331 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 2: little bit will. 332 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 3: Count because I think that's what's going to help me 333 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 3: build up those skills and that knowledge of her time. 334 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: Well, let's take something like you know, you know, you 335 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: had a resolution many many years ago with the Happiness 336 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 1: Project to make yourself happier over the course of a year. 337 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 1: But if somebody was going to do that, somebody said, like, 338 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: I want to be happier in twenty twenty five. Yeah, Like, 339 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 1: what are some practical things they could do? 340 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 3: Well, I have two answers, like a trans say answer 341 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 3: and a practical answer. I'll give the practical answer first. 342 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 3: Because people ask me this very question all the time. 343 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 3: I became very frustrated because I was always like, well, Laura, 344 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 3: it depends like what are your interests, what do you need? 345 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 3: Like what moves the needle for you? Like I have 346 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 3: to sit down and have a long conversation with you. 347 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 3: And people would be like, just tell me what to do. 348 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 1: Just ask for the first step, Gretchen. 349 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 2: Right. 350 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 3: So now I have a quiz. It's called the Habits 351 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 3: for Happiness Quiz. Again, got to gretchenmove dot com slash 352 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 3: quiz and you can take it and it will tell 353 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,080 Speaker 3: you not just what one should do, but what you, 354 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 3: Laura should do, because it takes you through actually not 355 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 3: that very many questions, and it really will give you 356 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 3: an answer that's like what is the thing that you 357 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 3: personally need to work on? Like where are you feeling 358 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 3: the biggest gap? What would move the needle the most 359 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 3: for you? So that will give you a personalized answer. 360 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 3: But if I couldn't talk to you, if I couldn't 361 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 3: ask you to take the quiz and figure out your answer, 362 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 3: I would say probably your best bet is to either 363 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 3: do something related to relationships or to your body, because 364 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 3: I mean, ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree that to 365 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 3: be happy we need to have relationships. So anything related 366 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 3: to deepening your relationships or broadening your relationships is likely 367 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 3: to make you happier. So maybe you've always wanted to 368 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 3: start a book group. That would be a that would 369 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 3: probably make you very happy because that's going to deepen 370 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 3: your relationship with other people. 371 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 2: Maybe you've been meaning to say. 372 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 3: Like, oh, I've got these five kids, I should make 373 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 3: a like I should make regular one on one outings 374 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 3: with them. 375 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 2: That's probably going to make you happier. 376 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 3: That's a good use of your time, energy, and money 377 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 3: because it goes to relationships. 378 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 2: Or also with the body, because our body, like our 379 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 2: physical experience, is always going to color our emotional experience. 380 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 2: So anything related to like getting exercise, getting. 381 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 3: Enough sleep, making sure that you're just like physically comfortable 382 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 3: like here, Like somebody was like, oh, I've been working 383 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 3: from home since like twenty twenty one, and I'm still 384 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 3: sitting on a dining room chair, Like. 385 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 2: No, you got to get a proper office chair like that. 386 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 2: You'll be so much more comfortable. 387 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 3: Like your body as you work. Like that matters. That's 388 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 3: a good place for your time, energy, your money. Is 389 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 3: anything going to your physical experience or like baby there's 390 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 3: a lot of noise where you work and you really 391 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 3: need silence. Okay, you should invest in some noise canceling 392 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 3: headphones for you. That might really really improve the quality 393 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 3: of your work day. So I would say relationships or 394 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,119 Speaker 3: your body, those are good places to focus unless you 395 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 3: want to take the quies that might give you a 396 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 3: much more refined answer. 397 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: Excellent, excellent. All right, Well, we're going to take one 398 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 1: more quick ad break and then we will be back 399 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 1: with more from Gretchen. Well, I am back. I'm interviewing 400 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,040 Speaker 1: Gretchen Rubin, who is the co host of The Happier 401 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 1: Podcast the author of several books, including Better Than Before. So, Gretchen, 402 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,640 Speaker 1: one of your you know Gretchen phrases, you always talk 403 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 1: about an atmosphere of growth. And I saw on social 404 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: media that you recently hosted your first Thanksgiving. Yes, Isa, 405 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: is this a growth experience for you? 406 00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 3: It was. I feel like it's a I feel like 407 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 3: it's an adult hood milestone to host a major holiday. 408 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,199 Speaker 2: And in truth, I thought that I never would. I was. 409 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 3: I was very surprised by myself and very and I 410 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,479 Speaker 3: feel like I really did show that I have, you know, 411 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 3: the potential to do something that I didn't think that 412 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,919 Speaker 3: I would ever do. And that's that that really was 413 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 3: very gratifying. 414 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, excellent, And it just had never happened before. I mean, 415 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 1: you went elsewhere for Thanksgiving or. 416 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 3: So I live right around the corner for my in laws. 417 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 3: My husband like lives right around the corner from where. 418 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 2: He grew up. 419 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 3: I mean, you do not even cross the street. And 420 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 3: my mother in law is this amazing cook. And I 421 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 3: always go home to my parents in Kansas City for 422 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,159 Speaker 3: the Christmas holidays, but we would spend Thanksgiving with my 423 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 3: with my husband's family, and so it was always just 424 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 3: like she would cook. 425 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 2: And you know, that was just the way that it was. 426 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:53,040 Speaker 2: But you know, over time, it just my my parents. 427 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 3: And my sister and her family decided to come to 428 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,480 Speaker 3: New York for Thanksgiving, and I just thought, okay, this 429 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 3: is my opportunity to step up. And okay, and I 430 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,440 Speaker 3: have to say, like I didn't actually cook. I felt 431 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:08,640 Speaker 3: I supervised. You made it. I did the table scape. 432 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,720 Speaker 3: I made sure that we had everything we needed. I 433 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 3: I I got all the pieces in place, and then 434 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 3: and then then other people did the actual cooking. I live, 435 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:21,200 Speaker 3: I live amongst cooks, So yeah, they were, I would 436 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 3: have had to like, you know, grab something out of 437 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 3: their hands. 438 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 2: That they wanted to make. 439 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 3: So that that was that was not the hard part. 440 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 3: The hard part was just like the orchestration. There's a 441 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 3: lot of orchestration of a large. 442 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 1: Of a large but hey, it makes you happy, right 443 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: to have lots of people gathered underwater. 444 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 2: It was so fun. I see why people love it. 445 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,440 Speaker 2: You really do. 446 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,880 Speaker 3: There is an excitement and a satisfaction of like knowing 447 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 3: that you're the one that's and then you know, you 448 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,200 Speaker 3: do your little touches, like you know, we had these 449 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 3: like funny name cards that looked like turkeys, and it's 450 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 3: everybody's like, oh, these are so cute, you know, so 451 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 3: it gives you a reason to do you know. It's 452 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 3: a kind of creativity. It's kind of everyday creativity is 453 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,360 Speaker 3: like is playing a meal like that? 454 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,399 Speaker 2: So I really enjoyed it. 455 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fun and it is definitely something that can 456 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 1: make a lot of work but make people very happy. So, Richard, 457 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 1: we always ask on this show, there's something that you've 458 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,440 Speaker 1: done recently to take a day from great to awesome? 459 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,440 Speaker 1: So is there something you've done recently that's like made 460 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: a day really really cool. 461 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:28,360 Speaker 2: Oh what a great question. Oh wow. 462 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,400 Speaker 3: I mean I do this whenever I can, So it's 463 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 3: not like this is novel, But whenever I can do it, 464 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:34,880 Speaker 3: I love it. 465 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 2: And that's when I have a same day book and 466 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 2: the same. 467 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 3: Day book because I love, love, love to read, and 468 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,920 Speaker 3: I love to binge read. 469 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,440 Speaker 2: Where like, if I can have the opportunity. 470 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 3: Where I'm really like just sitting on a sofa for 471 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 3: a big part of a day just reading, and the 472 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 3: same day book is when I can start and finish 473 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 3: a book. 474 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 2: In one day. 475 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 3: Now it usually it is not a long book, but 476 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 3: many books are not long, and I just for some reason, 477 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,199 Speaker 3: I feel like you experienced a book differently where you 478 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,679 Speaker 3: really take it from beginning Middleton and in one reading 479 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 3: like it's like you pick up illusions and sort of 480 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,040 Speaker 3: like you just have a better grasp of the details 481 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 3: sometimes because it's all just so fresh. And I think 482 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,440 Speaker 3: some books lend themselves to reading over time, they kind 483 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 3: of sink in into a different way you can sort 484 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,639 Speaker 3: of sometimes I feel like I'm just gulping down a 485 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,199 Speaker 3: book as fast as I can, but I do I 486 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 3: feel like whenever I do that, I feel like there's 487 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 3: this is like a special treat in a day. 488 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: I love that. A same day book. I had never 489 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,440 Speaker 1: heard it referred to ever. 490 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,920 Speaker 3: Since I was little, I've called it the same day. 491 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 3: I don't know that anybody else uses stuf phrase, but yeah, no, no. 492 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: We will. 493 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,120 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you heard it here. 494 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 1: Look for those the same day books, the ones that 495 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,920 Speaker 1: are short enough that you could conceivably get through them, 496 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:47,360 Speaker 1: and in. 497 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,160 Speaker 3: Everybody a great same day book. Read Foster by Turkey Agan. 498 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,119 Speaker 3: It is an it's really a novella. It's a beautiful book. 499 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 3: It's a beautifully written book. It's uh, it's a book 500 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 3: that you will just feel like you spent your time. 501 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,919 Speaker 1: Well yeah, and maybe just only a few hours on 502 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 1: the sofa. So yeah, we probably find the space for 503 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,800 Speaker 1: it exactly. So, Gretchen, what are you looking forward to 504 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: right now? 505 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,200 Speaker 2: I am looking forward to water coloring. 506 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,159 Speaker 3: I think that's going to be great. I think my 507 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 3: family's going to get a puppy in twenty twenty five. 508 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:28,000 Speaker 3: That's very exciting. I'm I'm planning a big like. I 509 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 3: love to read, and I have a children's literature reading group. 510 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:34,439 Speaker 3: Actually it's like multiple children's literature reading group, and we 511 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:38,159 Speaker 3: are hitting our twentieth anniversary in September, so I'm going 512 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 3: to plan a party for. 513 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:43,360 Speaker 2: That, which I'm very excited about. It's a big anniversary. 514 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 3: That's one of the things that I've vowed over the 515 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 3: last few years is to celebrate anniversaries more. I think 516 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 3: somewhere often we were focused on the to do and 517 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 3: looking forward, and I'm like, it's good to have a 518 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,200 Speaker 3: tada and remind ourselves how far we've come. 519 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 2: And for some reason, twenty twenty five it is. 520 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 3: A year where I have like fifteen major anniversaries happening, 521 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 3: and so that's one that I'm. 522 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 2: Really excited about. 523 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 1: I did a lot in two thousand and five for 524 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 1: twenty ten or nineteen ninety five. 525 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 3: Funny, it's funny, you don't I didn't realize it, But 526 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 3: actually two thousand and five was a super big year 527 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 3: for me. I realize now, and like at the time 528 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 3: I didn't think anything. I wasn't aware that I was 529 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,360 Speaker 3: laying the groundwork for so much to come. 530 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I love the idea of selling you know, 531 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: anniversaries aren't just for romance, right that there? You know, 532 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 1: we think about it like a wedding anniversary or something 533 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: like that. Which of course should be celebrated, but right, 534 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,399 Speaker 1: there's many other things in life that we may have 535 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,640 Speaker 1: done for years and years and years as well. 536 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I mean the anniversary of like the first 537 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 3: time you're in it, Like for people who run marathons, 538 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 3: is like when did you run your first method? Or 539 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 3: like I do high intensity weight training and I was 540 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 3: trying to figure out, like when did I start? I 541 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,399 Speaker 3: would like to I would like to get like the 542 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 3: smugness of gloating over how many years I've done it? Now, 543 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 3: Like sometimes it's good to like sit down and figure 544 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 3: out what is the anniversary so that you can you 545 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 3: can really celebrate it. 546 00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, well I have to only celebrate two years for. 547 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 2: Me on that. But yeah, yes, Erican is something. 548 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,719 Speaker 1: It's something I'm never gonna love it, but you know 549 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: it's it's it's good to do. 550 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 2: It's good to do, and it's so short. 551 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,120 Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. So, Gretchen, maybe you can give a quick 552 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 1: some of you for listeners where they can find you. 553 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,879 Speaker 3: Ah, yes, so on my website Gretchen Reuben dot com. 554 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 3: There's like just tons of resources and articles. All the 555 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 3: quizzes are there. If you just look for quiz, you 556 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,639 Speaker 3: can say, and I have other quizzes too that are 557 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,399 Speaker 3: super fun. I love a quiz, I love to I 558 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,479 Speaker 3: love a self knowledge question, so I love a quiz. 559 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,879 Speaker 3: I have my podcast which is called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, 560 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,720 Speaker 3: which is, as you said, I do it with my 561 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 3: sister and we talk about how to be happier, healthier, 562 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:36,800 Speaker 3: more productive, and more creative. 563 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 2: It's very practical too. I have a lot of products now, like. 564 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 3: I really I love journals and get kind of all 565 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,639 Speaker 3: kinds of products that you can use to boost your 566 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 3: happiness or to make yourself more creative. 567 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 2: And that's uh. You can go to my website and 568 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 2: look on the shop. 569 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 3: I have a newsletter called five Things Making Me Happy, 570 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 3: which is every week I talk about five things making 571 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 3: me happy. 572 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,680 Speaker 2: And that's just super. 573 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,119 Speaker 3: Fun, you know, to shine a spotlight on things that 574 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 3: are you know, just make me happy. 575 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:06,919 Speaker 2: And uh. 576 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 3: But but basically, if you just look and I'm on 577 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 3: social media as Gretchen Ruben in all the places that 578 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,879 Speaker 3: people go, so basically that's it. Gretchen Reuben dot com 579 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,679 Speaker 3: will take you anywhere you want to go. 580 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was noticing one of the things that made 581 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,800 Speaker 1: you happy. This stuck out for me finding out that 582 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 1: Anna Wintour had gone to see The Devil Wears Prada 583 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: or something like that. 584 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 2: You know that The thing is she wore product. 585 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 1: She wore product to it. 586 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,240 Speaker 3: She was the premiere, and I mean, I just thought 587 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 3: that is so funny. And she said I and and 588 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 3: and then they said what do you think of it? 589 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 2: She said, I love it. Anything that, anything that that 590 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 2: makes the fashion industry more interesting and glamorous, I'm for it. 591 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 2: And I just thought it wasn't that? Isn't that funny? 592 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: Is it good to be self aware? And like, yeah, 593 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 1: the knowing knowing onseself is the. 594 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 2: I am the devil. 595 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 3: I will wear Prada's very funny. 596 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 1: All right, Well, Gretchen, thank you so much for joining us. 597 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 1: Thank you to everyone for listening, for staying with us 598 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: through some of my longer episodes as I'm experimenting with 599 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,439 Speaker 1: this format. If you have feedback for me about this 600 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: episode or any others anything you'd like to see, you 601 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 1: can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 602 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,679 Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and 603 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for 604 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:32,359 Speaker 1: listening to before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 605 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 606 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:46,200 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 607 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 608 00:26:50,840 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.