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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera.

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Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to Stuff you should know

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Speaker 1: from House Stuff Works dot com? Hey, and welcome to

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Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Josh Clark. There's Charles W. Bryant. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: here he goes the Flash. That's your new nickname Flash. Okay,

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Speaker 1: con I just moved. I just wouldn't got this beverage

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Speaker 1: and came back. You didn't even see me. It's amazing

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Speaker 1: I didn't, Chuck. Is now the Flash Charles W. The

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Speaker 1: Flash Bryant and the anti Flash. Actually, well, that's funny

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Speaker 1: that you bring that up, because that would make you

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Speaker 1: buddy Bizarro flash. Yeah did you see this? Surely you

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Speaker 1: saw this? Saw what bizarrow something? Yeah? Man? That was good,

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Speaker 1: Chuck really yeah. So you just teed me up for

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Speaker 1: um for my intro and then I squandered it by

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Speaker 1: complimenting you. But let me let me pick up again oversee.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever heard of a place called hit Tray? No?

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Speaker 1: H t r A. No is that something spelled backwards?

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Speaker 1: It is Earth spelled backwards and hit Trey Um first

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Speaker 1: appears in the d C Comics canon in the nineteen sixties.

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Speaker 1: Um it is what we know and love as Bizarro World.

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Speaker 1: It is cube shaped. Um. It's inhabitants include Bizarro, Superman, Bizarro,

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Speaker 1: Lois Lane and their kids. Right, and then over time,

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Speaker 1: DC added whenever they wanted to um more Bizarro characters. Um,

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Speaker 1: like the yellow lantern Bizarro Flash, who is you? Uh,

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Speaker 1: wonder Zaro which is wonder woman, but Bizarre is yellow.

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Speaker 1: On the opposite end of the spectrum is green. No,

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Speaker 1: here's I'm gonna get to the ground. You stop your

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Speaker 1: blowing my intro. Bat Zorow is the World's Worst Detective,

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Speaker 1: which is the opposite of Batman, who is the world's

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Speaker 1: greatest detective. He got to start in the detective comics

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Speaker 1: DC Detective Comics, okay, at any rate, the Bizarre World,

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Speaker 1: which you also know from the Seinfeld of course, and

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Speaker 1: Buffy the Vampire's Layer. Apparently, Yeah, it really was, um, isn't.

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Speaker 1: It's based on the idea the concept of anti matter. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: So the idea that for every for every anything there

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Speaker 1: is in this realm, and this the state of matter

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Speaker 1: that you and I occupy, there is somehow somewhere out

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Speaker 1: there a mirror image of it. The problem is with

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Speaker 1: bizarro world. Like you say, the mirror image of Earth

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Speaker 1: is not a cube. And although Batman would be the

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Speaker 1: world's worst detective in in bizarro world, there's there's some

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Speaker 1: holes in it. But again, this is DC make sure.

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Speaker 1: But the idea that it's based on is not entirely

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Speaker 1: out of the remal possibility. In fact, the idea that

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Speaker 1: there is anti matter has been proven definitively by people

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Speaker 1: way smarter than you or I. Yep. So let's talk

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Speaker 1: about anti matter before we talk about the basis of

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Speaker 1: this podcast. What what what it's really about? I guess

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Speaker 1: you could say, which is anti matter spacecraft? I have

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Speaker 1: to say I'm excited about this one. This is This

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Speaker 1: goes in the our g whiz folder. Okay, all right, Josh,

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Speaker 1: it should be a pretty quirky subject. Oh God, how

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Speaker 1: much do you want to hit me right now? No,

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Speaker 1: it's not that. It's more just like pain. Okay, Matter, Josh,

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Speaker 1: is was always typically defined as anything with mass that

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Speaker 1: occupies volume. That's still true, but it's got sort of

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Speaker 1: a different definition now because of anti matter. Yeah, Adams,

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Speaker 1: just break it down. I don't want to go sub

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Speaker 1: atomic yet, but let's go to atomic. Everyone knows, and

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Speaker 1: Adam has a central nucleus surrounded by a cloud of

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Speaker 1: negatively charged electrons, the the humanist sign held there the

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Speaker 1: electrons by a magnetic field. The nucleus is a mix

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Speaker 1: of positively charged protons neutral neutrons, and when these atoms

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Speaker 1: get together and have a party, they form a molecule. Yes,

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Speaker 1: eventually you get enough molecules together, you're gonna have stuff,

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Speaker 1: and you have our podcast. Yeah, doesn't matter, which kind

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Speaker 1: of helps. Right, So anti matter is the exact same thing,

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Speaker 1: but the opposite. Right, All it is is um. For

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Speaker 1: every particle that you just described, there is another particle

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Speaker 1: that has the exact same mass, but it has the

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Speaker 1: opposite electrical charge. So for electrons, there are positrons, which

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Speaker 1: are their electrons with a positive charge, which is a

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Speaker 1: cool name. It is very cool. Um protons got screwed. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Well basically, yeah, protons are um what anti protons? It's

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Speaker 1: kind of and just like with um, atoms with positively

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Speaker 1: charged or regularly how about this, we'll call it the

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Speaker 1: straits the normals. With the normals, you can build them

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Speaker 1: into atoms and molecules and so on. Conceivably, you can

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Speaker 1: build anti atoms into anti molecules, anti whatever, anti substances,

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Speaker 1: anti stuff like you say, um, so all of this

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Speaker 1: was theoretical. There is a guy named Paul am Durrak

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Speaker 1: who he had the audacity to revise Einstein's theory of

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Speaker 1: relativity equals mc squared. Direct said it did because he

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Speaker 1: did it in nineteen Einstein's alive and well and he's

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Speaker 1: in full you know, boxing shape. It's ready to go.

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Speaker 1: Let's bring it um and Direct revised the equation into

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Speaker 1: e equals plus or minus mc squared, and then he

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Speaker 1: stuck his tongue out at Einstein, and Einstein said, well,

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Speaker 1: if you wanted to get picky, sure, yeah, I thought

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Speaker 1: I thought that was assumed. He said, which of us

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Speaker 1: wears flow length for coats? And Direct his hung his

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Speaker 1: head and say, we both just said the very poor

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Speaker 1: Schwartzenegger almost, which Einstein kind of was, Yeah, he's the

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Speaker 1: he was the Schortzenegger of math. So he had the

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Speaker 1: cajones to revise that he was dead on because they

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Speaker 1: actually proved this since that time, like four years later,

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Speaker 1: that anti particles do in fact exist. Have you heard

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Speaker 1: of um, Carl Anderson, Well just from this article, but

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Speaker 1: I mean, did you look into him at all. Uh no,

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Speaker 1: so we want a Nobel prize for this. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know that, um, but he he he found evidence of positrons.

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Speaker 1: Definitive evidence of positrons a photograph, right, Yeah, there's like

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Speaker 1: a famous photograph of it. But he used it cloud chamber,

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Speaker 1: and cloud chambers is very sophisticated piece of equipment. This

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Speaker 1: guy built his own. But a cloud chamber is basically

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Speaker 1: just like a cylinder with um filled with gas that's

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Speaker 1: saturated with water vapor, and then you shoot cosmic rays

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Speaker 1: through it and see what happens. And well, the cosmic

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Speaker 1: rays leave a trail in the water vapor. You can

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Speaker 1: measure the density of the water vapor and determine what

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Speaker 1: kind of particle just passed through. It wasn't enough for

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Speaker 1: Anderson to create his own um gas chamber, not gass chamber,

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Speaker 1: cloud chamber. Wow that too. History has not rooted that

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Speaker 1: one out yet. But yeah, we're gonna think differently of

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Speaker 1: him soon. Um. He created his own cloud chamber and

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Speaker 1: put an electromagnet around it so he could direct these

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Speaker 1: cosmic particles in a circle. And he noticed that when

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Speaker 1: he did that, when he shot a cosmic ray through

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Speaker 1: something that had the same mass as an electron was

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Speaker 1: creating an arc going in the opposite direction. He said,

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Speaker 1: holy cow, that's a pow the tron. He said, what

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Speaker 1: is that? He said, hello, million bucks from the Nobel Committee.

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Speaker 1: Is that what he won? I think that's what you

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Speaker 1: win back then? Probably not, but it was like twenty

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Speaker 1: million bucks compared to today. Yeah, that's a good point. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Anti adams were discovered by CERN, our buddies at CERN

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Speaker 1: that we talked about like many many times. I know

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Speaker 1: I forgot about them, since they didn't in the world.

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Speaker 1: They created the first anti adom and by to the

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Speaker 1: tune of nine anti hydrogen atoms, and at first was

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry before night they lasted forty nana seconds, but

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Speaker 1: they were there and they had a record of it.

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Speaker 1: But then they're like poof gone. Yeah, but still quite

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Speaker 1: an achievement. UM. Anti protons were discovered in ninety at

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Speaker 1: the Berkeley Bevetron Adam Smasher particle accelerator. UM. What CERN's doing,

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Speaker 1: uh is something that's been aroun them for a while,

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Speaker 1: which is basically you can we figured out and not

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Speaker 1: we meaning you and me, We have no idea UM,

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Speaker 1: but other people have figured out that you can using magnets,

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Speaker 1: vacuum tubes, um and beams of light, you can shoot

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Speaker 1: particles at one another and smash them together exactly. That's

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Speaker 1: what that's another name for a particle accelerator. And when

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Speaker 1: you smash them together like they do, it certain because

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Speaker 1: they get the atoms going almost to the speed of

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Speaker 1: light and then they smash them together. And when they do,

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Speaker 1: um all these particles are created, very exotic ones that

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Speaker 1: like you said, the anti atoms lasted for uh forty

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Speaker 1: nanoseconds well back then. And what they think is that

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Speaker 1: this is this is what the Big Bang looked a

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Speaker 1: lot like, right, So um, yeah, which is step one.

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Speaker 1: It is step one toward building an anti matter engine.

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Speaker 1: But the the I guess the question is, well, let's

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Speaker 1: talk a little bit about anti matter and what happens

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Speaker 1: when antimatter comes and intact with regular matter. It's pretty awesome.

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Speaker 1: What happens is they collide and it becomes nothing but

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Speaker 1: pure energy. It explodes, they both are annihilated, and it's efficient,

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Speaker 1: creating pure energy at the speed of light. It's the

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Speaker 1: it's the only um reaction as far as we know

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Speaker 1: that is on efficient. Like you said, where the mass

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Speaker 1: of both the matter and the animatter particles are transferred

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Speaker 1: entirely to this explosion. Yeah, you get some sub atomic

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Speaker 1: left over, but it's nothing like you know, car exhaust right,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. It's not even like nuclear

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Speaker 1: um reactions like nuclear fusion. Apparently only three percent of

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Speaker 1: the mass of the atoms um is transferred is lost.

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Speaker 1: Is like heat that is not efficient. No light is

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Speaker 1: created UM by this the um particle matter and antimatter interaction.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he'd is. It's more like the radiation

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Speaker 1: that's created is where you get all your heat though actually,

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Speaker 1: because I know that one of the first things you

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Speaker 1: have to do is cool it down if they're storing it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's just a guess. So UM. The problem is is

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Speaker 1: that this doesn't just happen when you smash atoms together.

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Speaker 1: This happens anytime an antimatter particle comes in contact with

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Speaker 1: this it's normal particle UM. They annihilate one another. So

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Speaker 1: there's this thing. There's this aspect of the standard theory

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Speaker 1: UM which includes gravity. Uh no, it doesn't include gravity.

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Speaker 1: It's everything else but gravity, electromagnetism, weak, nuclear force, strong

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Speaker 1: nuclear force, and it doesn't include gravity, which is like

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Speaker 1: the that's the Holy Grail. Right. So the standard theory says,

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Speaker 1: at the beginning of creation the Big Bank, there were

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Speaker 1: an equal part of particles and antiparticles. The problem is

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Speaker 1: is within about two seconds, since anti particles anti matter

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Speaker 1: of matter cancel each other out through these violent explosions um,

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Speaker 1: there should be nothing in the universe except light left

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Speaker 1: over from that the first two seconds when all matter

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Speaker 1: canceled itself out. Right. The fact that we're here proves

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Speaker 1: that that can't be right, and that there's matter but

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Speaker 1: not antimatter. Right. So there's a couple of explanations for this,

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Speaker 1: and one is that there is simply there was and

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Speaker 1: it maybe still is or isn't um less anti matter

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Speaker 1: than matter, right. So the idea is that over time

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Speaker 1: there was way more matter than we have now, but

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Speaker 1: that canceled out all the anti matter, and there is

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Speaker 1: none anymore. We can produce it now, but it doesn't

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Speaker 1: exist naturally. The second explanations that it does exist, right,

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Speaker 1: it's just kind of sequestered off elsewhere in the universe. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And there's sort of an addendum to the first one

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Speaker 1: that it's not necessarily that there was more matter than

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Speaker 1: anti matter, but there is a slight asymmetry between them, UM.

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Speaker 1: And they've actually proven that that was the inn A

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Speaker 1: forty eight experiment that Sern did and the k T

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Speaker 1: e V experiment at firm A Lab, And those are

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Speaker 1: the two big daddies this kind of research, and that

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Speaker 1: the not the Berkeley bever tron. I don't know about

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Speaker 1: them anymore, UM, but they directly measured this asymmetry and

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Speaker 1: proved it like there is an asymmetry, and that could

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Speaker 1: have been just that little bit could have been enough

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Speaker 1: that matter one out essentially, right, And when you're talking

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Speaker 1: about asymmetry, it's almost like a coin toss, right, where

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Speaker 1: when you toss, when you create a particle UM, say

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Speaker 1: seven times out of ten it creates a um an electron,

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Speaker 1: and then the other three times that created a positron.

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Speaker 1: That's the asymmetry. So there is evidence of that. But

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Speaker 1: there's also evidence that there is a store of anti

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Speaker 1: matter towards the center of the cosmos. I couldn't find

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Speaker 1: much about that. They think they discovered it in nineteen

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Speaker 1: seventy seven, but I haven't seen want to follow up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So let's say it is there, but have they done

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Speaker 1: follow up? I don't know, but I have seen recent

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Speaker 1: reference to that idea. Also that year Star Wars came out.

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Speaker 1: No coincidence. If there, if there um, if there is

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Speaker 1: a I guess a deposit of anti matter, then it

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Speaker 1: is conceivable that there is an anti world there. There's

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Speaker 1: anti stuff there. Wouldn't that mean there's no matter there though,

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Speaker 1: because it would be colliding right, No, there's matter, it's

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Speaker 1: just the opposite of what we have. There's more antimatter

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Speaker 1: than because that's about it. Like they at Certain, they

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Speaker 1: created anti Adams, So maybe there is no matter there.

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Speaker 1: It's just anti matter and everything. There's us, but it's

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Speaker 1: the opposite of us. Bizarro Josh and Chuck. I mean

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Speaker 1: two guys who are really talented at their jobs, right exactly,

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Speaker 1: who have the adoration of people, not the score right. Um,

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Speaker 1: So okay for the time being, until we find out

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Speaker 1: if they're really is a store of antimatter at the

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Speaker 1: center of the cosmos and figure out how to go

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Speaker 1: get it. And when they're open, we had we had

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Speaker 1: to create our own, which is what Cern is doing.

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Speaker 1: Now we can do it, but Certain is doing They're

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Speaker 1: they're just not up to snuff. They're they're creating two

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Speaker 1: to three pike a grams a year. Yeah, I've got

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Speaker 1: a couple of realities for you here. UM. Since the

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Speaker 1: discovery of the anti proton, the total amount from Lear

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Speaker 1: Sern and firm A lab that they've created amounts to

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Speaker 1: less than one millionth of a gram. Okay, and at

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Speaker 1: the current rate, and it's picking up, the rate is

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Speaker 1: and that's what we're counting on here. But at the

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Speaker 1: current rate, it would take a hundred hundreds of millions

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Speaker 1: of years and over one thousand trillion dollars to produce

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Speaker 1: one gram of anti matter. So they got to pick

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Speaker 1: up the pace. Yeah, not only do they need to

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Speaker 1: pick up the pace if we UM are going to

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Speaker 1: use antimatter as a propulsion device, the ultimate propulsion, because

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Speaker 1: like we said, I mean, this thing is thousands of

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Speaker 1: times more produces thousands of times more energy than oxygen

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Speaker 1: or hydrogen combustion, which is what we use now to

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Speaker 1: power rockets outer space, inner planetary rockets like the Mars

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Speaker 1: rover that was hydrogen oxygen combustion. Right, this is thousands

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Speaker 1: of times more more potent, more powerful than those engines.

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Speaker 1: If we're going to use that. We need to figure

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Speaker 1: out how to make these engines more efficient. I got

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Speaker 1: stats on that too. If you want, let's hear, one

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Speaker 1: kilogram of antimatter a kilogram annihilating ordinary like colliding with

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Speaker 1: the ordinary matter can produce ten billion times the amount

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Speaker 1: of energy released with a kilogram of TNT in a

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Speaker 1: single gram of antimatter, the one that you know is

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Speaker 1: going to take hundreds of millions of years to produce, uh,

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Speaker 1: would get you as much energy as uh the fuel

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Speaker 1: tanks of two dozen space shuttles a single gram US.

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Speaker 1: It is nuts. The problem is we're gonna need tons

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Speaker 1: of the stuff to make it to another star, which

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Speaker 1: you know we're gonna want to do. It will be like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, Mars, who cares about ten grahams They think

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Speaker 1: could get you to Mars in one month, where right

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Speaker 1: now it takes about eleven months to get there with

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Speaker 1: regular fuel, right exactly. So finally we have at our

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Speaker 1: at our fingertips, the way to get from one place

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Speaker 1: to another very quickly throughout the universe without having to

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Speaker 1: take theoretical wormholes or use warp drive or anything that

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Speaker 1: that hasn't be improven. This is this is possible if

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Speaker 1: we can figure out how to how to store it

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Speaker 1: and how to harness it correctly, create it, store it,

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Speaker 1: use it, use it. Right, So, there's three three big

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Speaker 1: components to an antimatter matter antimatter engine is what we

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Speaker 1: should call it, UM the magnetic storage rings. Remember you

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Speaker 1: can basically tell um particles to do what you on

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Speaker 1: and that's just travel around in a searching circle by

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Speaker 1: using electromagnets. Sure, so you need to store the antimatter

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Speaker 1: that you create until you're ready to use it. You

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Speaker 1: need to be able to feed it efficiently. So basically

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Speaker 1: you need like a a particle accelerator, and then you

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Speaker 1: need the magnetic rocket nozzle thruster which which takes that

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Speaker 1: energy and and uses it efficiently to through a thruster

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Speaker 1: the spacecraft forward right or backward? I guess if you

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Speaker 1: want to go backward really fast. Um there are some

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Speaker 1: problems with it right well, yeah, notably the fact that

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Speaker 1: they can't create very much of it right now, even

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Speaker 1: then the speeding up, uh they have as a June

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Speaker 1: of this year, I'm sorry, may have this year um

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Speaker 1: CERN has stored three nine anti hydrogen atoms for one

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Speaker 1: thousand seconds about sixteen and a half minutes, and which

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Speaker 1: is huge. And I think they said, like four years

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Speaker 1: ago it was like nothing, So it's it's not growing exponentially,

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Speaker 1: but they're really gaining steam with storing it, and pretty

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Speaker 1: soon they hope to be able to store these anti

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Speaker 1: hydrogen atoms long enough to see how it reacts to gravity,

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Speaker 1: like do these things fall up or down? Which would

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Speaker 1: be pretty amazing, especially if they fall up. Robert Hume

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Speaker 1: would be very pleased. But that's still only three nine

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Speaker 1: antry anti hydrogen havens, which is nothing. No, but you

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Speaker 1: said four years ago, like this is all this is theoretical.

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Speaker 1: You know, seventy years ago. Four years ago, we were

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Speaker 1: just starting out. So I mean, I I imagine we're

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Speaker 1: gonna have some sort of breakthrough. This is why we

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Speaker 1: need a population boom. The more people there are, the

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Speaker 1: more geniuses there are. Uh. They did think about they

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Speaker 1: could storm in magnetic bottles, but because like charges repel though,

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Speaker 1: that's a problem. So you can't just say, let's load

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Speaker 1: this thing full of positrons because they repel each other

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Speaker 1: and it's gonna start leaking or something, So they can't

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Speaker 1: store a ton of it at a time. And did

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Speaker 1: you have the Steve Hawe guy. He's not Steve half

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Speaker 1: from Yes or or Asia. I think he was in

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Speaker 1: Asia too. Wow, he was in Yes and Asia I

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Speaker 1: guess like a prog rock god. And GTR I think

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Speaker 1: too terrible Now the terrible band called g t R.

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Speaker 1: What does it stand for guitar? It's like three incredible

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Speaker 1: guitarists in one band and they had one album and

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Speaker 1: some cheesy lead singer. Anyway, different Steve Howe, but he

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Speaker 1: has an idea for a fission based anti matter sale,

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Speaker 1: So like a fifteen foot diameter sale codd of with

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Speaker 1: uranium and basically he said, the key is to store

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Speaker 1: anti hydrogen in the form of a frozen pellet that

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Speaker 1: will evaporate slowly and create this reaction that hits the

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Speaker 1: sale to propel it forward. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. Who

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Speaker 1: knows if that's gonna work. Um. Another big problem is

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Speaker 1: that anti proton ones um release high energy gamma rays,

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Speaker 1: which can penetrate you and your entire family and dissolve

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Speaker 1: your molecules back into atoms. Isn't that kind of the

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Speaker 1: key though to the propulsion or now, Yeah, the radiation.

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Speaker 1: The problem is is like, unless we figure out how

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Speaker 1: to protect the astronauts they're going to be exposed to

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Speaker 1: it too. Well. And my question too, which I didn't

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Speaker 1: see anywhere in any of my research, was can a

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Speaker 1: human go that fast? That was my next question. To

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Speaker 1: remember Colonel John Paul Staff from the Murphy's Murphy's Law

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Speaker 1: episode and other things. Um, he survived up to forty

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Speaker 1: six gets that was the peak, but he also suffered

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Speaker 1: red outs and um, lifelong trauma. Um. Apparently right now,

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Speaker 1: if you're on a rocket and you're being shot up

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Speaker 1: into space on a hydrogen oxygen combustion rocket, you experienced

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Speaker 1: four g s, which is substantial, but it's certainly not

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Speaker 1: life threatening or anything like that. But if this produces

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Speaker 1: ten times the out of thrust, this is my own

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Speaker 1: like backpulation. Yeah, because remember you can get there ten

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Speaker 1: times faster, you can maybe it produces ten times more thrust. Um,

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Speaker 1: it's still forty gs that you have to endure the

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Speaker 1: whole time. So that's a month of forty g s

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Speaker 1: of the of just under the most any humans ever

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Speaker 1: ever survived. So why are they even wasting their time

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Speaker 1: with this? Because they could like a robot or something.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is that canna space shut Even withstand

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Speaker 1: that we have, we have no idea. That's another whole

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Speaker 1: aspect of this that's gonna need to be worked out.

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Speaker 1: Maybe we need to be stored in some sort of

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Speaker 1: liquid for a month. Who else. That's why this one's

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Speaker 1: in the g whiz folder. I need to pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: So I guess the point is is you can look

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Speaker 1: for anti matter space spacecraft in the next couple of years.

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Speaker 1: That'll be cool. I can't wait to go see one

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Speaker 1: of those launches that didn't They say that like possibly

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Speaker 1: in the next few decades, so they must be ramping

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Speaker 1: it up here soon. It's true. Good for them. Uh.

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Speaker 1: If you want to know more about the promise of spaceflight,

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Speaker 1: the dream of man and bird alike, UM, you can

376
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 1: type in anti matter spacecraft pretty cool stuff UM in

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00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,360
Speaker 1: the search bar at how stuff works dot com. That's right.

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Speaker 1: And Star Trek fans, we know, we know, we know. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I think I said search bar at how stuff works

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Speaker 1: dot com. Right. Well, that brings up then listener mail Josh,

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Speaker 1: You're gonna be pretty excited because we get periodic updates

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Speaker 1: from our amazing fans. Sarah, the eleven year old who

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Speaker 1: was now fourteen. Yes, we've watched her grow up before

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Speaker 1: very eyes. She's awesome. She acts now, I believe in

385
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 1: plays at school. Yeah, she's become a very cool person

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Speaker 1: in my opinion. This is from Sarah the amazing fourteen

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Speaker 1: year old man. Dear guys, really another letter from Sarah.

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Speaker 1: Well that's not you boring. I didn't not expect this, Hi, guys,

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Speaker 1: this means John Hodgen. I'm surprised you didn't see me

390
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 1: sitting here the entire podcast. Well, it was weird. You

391
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,479
Speaker 1: literally materialized in front of our eyes. Yeah. Well I

392
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: was wearing my cloaking mechanism. Okay, well done. Yeah you've

393
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 1: been here the whole time. Yeah, yeah, what did you think?

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00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 1: You know? It was? It was good, I was. I

395
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 1: was satisfying. It wasn't long. It's long and getting longer. Yeah,

396
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 1: you know, know when to stop talking these days, joints. Well,

397
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Speaker 1: you know, it was an extremely interesting topic. But I

398
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: feel like you guys went off into some weird pop

399
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 1: cultural rattles and stopped talking about the topic for a while,

400
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,959
Speaker 1: and then you came back to it and they mostly

401
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 1: satisfactory way. So I would say, you know, right down

402
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: the middle for you guys, absolutely, thank you. Yeah, no,

403
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 1: I just it's just this letter call thing. No, yeah,

404
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: just the last few letters. You know, I just realized

405
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: that I don't have a lot of me in them,

406
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, They're like from other people,

407
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 1: and that's not really what I want in a podcast.

408
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,479
Speaker 1: And uh, you know, so I just took the chopper

409
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: down and I landed on the roof here how stuff

410
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 1: works tower, and uh, I thought I would just come

411
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Speaker 1: by and and see you guys, And well, all right,

412
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 1: look I just finished this new book. Okay, okay, yeah,

413
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,919
Speaker 1: you know you don't get the chopper out for just

414
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: anything these days, well almost anything. But it was the

415
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 1: easiest way to get to Atlanta from Sri Lanka, where

416
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: I was at my compound. Um, but I have I

417
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 1: you know, I'm I'm a deranged millionaire. Now we've heard that.

418
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 1: And uh and I've written a new book. This is

419
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Speaker 1: the last book in my compendium of Complete World Knowledge.

420
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: And it's called That is All, but the last book

421
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: or like the Last Crusade, kind of confusing last book. Oh,

422
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 1: I see what you're saying. No, this is the last one,

423
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 1: because not only is it called That is All? And

424
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: I don't have anything else to write about. But also,

425
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: as you know, about um thirteen months or so, the

426
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: world is going to end, or at least the mind

427
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 1: long time calendar ends, and and probably will. I mean, look,

428
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 1: we don't really know what's going to happen. I mean,

429
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:31,679
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not saying that the world is going

430
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 1: to end in fire and flame and famine, flood and

431
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 1: all the other fs, leaving only John Cusack alive. That's

432
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: the ancient minds were saying that playing those guys. That's

433
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,479
Speaker 1: not me. But you know, I am keeping John Cusack

434
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: prisoner in my home just in case, because it just

435
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 1: seems like something's gonna happen. Don't you think I feel

436
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 1: a lot better knowing that those minds will say anything.

437
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 1: Because you just stick close to John Cusack, I think

438
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: you're gonna be okay. That's that's the lesson that I

439
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: took from reading the Purple of the Ancient Mind text

440
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 1: to kick well. I mean, here, yeah, we'll see. That's

441
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 1: the thing because because I'm I'm you know, I used

442
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: to be in all these ads and on television all

443
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 1: the time. And remember the ads are over now because

444
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: we sold all the computers, I think, and are they

445
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,640
Speaker 1: are they done? Yeah? I think, I mean, why else

446
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: wouldn't we be doing They must have sold them all,

447
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: so good work for us. But that's sort of left

448
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 1: me just this idle, deranged millionaire. And so I wrote

449
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 1: the book and I arranged for a major publishing house

450
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: to publish it, and uh, and I can just afford

451
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 1: to take myself on book tour wherever I want. And

452
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,199
Speaker 1: today I'm I decided to come here. So you have

453
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: a schopper now if I may call it that, you

454
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: can you can call it a chopper. It's more like

455
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 1: a hellic harrier. Yeah, what happened here? Zeppelin? It's you're

456
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: talking about my my speed Zeppelin Hubris, the the the

457
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 1: h the h Z Hubris Hodgman Zeppelin Hubris, that that

458
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 1: I bought off of Emo Phillips a few years ago. Yeah,

459
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 1: not only did that crash, it crashed and burned. Was

460
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 1: it something ironically given the name? Was it something that

461
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: that had to do with Emo Phillips uptake maintenance caretaking

462
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 1: of this Zeppelin? No? No, no, it was. It was

463
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 1: in perfect condition when I got it, do you know

464
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: what I mean? But I just like, you know, when

465
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 1: I when I'm having a Zeppelin party. It's not a

466
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 1: Zeppelin party unless you have a fire breather. Someone should

467
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: have warned me that Zeppelin's have this problem with fire

468
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: like if this were a known problem, this were a

469
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 1: known issue, as they say in the software Developing game.

470
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 1: I wish I had gotten that memo, you know what

471
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: I mean, or at least in the in the Zeppelin

472
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: the radiogram that I should have gotten about that. We

473
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: should probably tell everybody. This is not a video cast,

474
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 1: so you know, we have to often describe things that

475
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: are going on. John looks great, Yeah, sure, And he's

476
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: holding in his hand a hard cover volume of his

477
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: third book, the third in the trilogy, That is All,

478
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: and it's handsome and John, we do want to mention

479
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: in all earnest here that the book is coming out

480
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: in November one. That is so, it's called That is All. Yes,

481
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 1: it is by John Hodgman. Available where would you like

482
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 1: people to buy their local bookstore? Well, they should buy

483
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: wherever they would like to buy it. They should support

484
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 1: their local bookstore of choice if they like. But it

485
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: is available for pre order now at this moment, even

486
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: though it is not November one, Amazon, Barnes and Noble

487
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: Indie Bound Powells all your major books selling websites. Be

488
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: smart by this book, because if you get the first two,

489
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 1: you gotta have the third. You're not gonna know how

490
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: the everything is. I want to say, be smart. I

491
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 1: think it's more like, stop being a dumb dumb Okay,

492
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 1: fair enough and buy my book fair enough? And uh

493
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,719
Speaker 1: and if you would like to know what it sounds like.

494
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 1: It sounds like this, I'm just gonna I think your

495
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 1: audience will enjoy this. I'll just read the entirety of

496
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 1: the book. Good evening. I write to you now from

497
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: my secret retreat in the Internetlace hills of rural Massachusetts,

498
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: or else. I'm in my custom built survival Brownstone in Parkslow, Brooklyn,

499
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: or else I'm on the high seas, cruising on the

500
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: luxury passenger ship Hodge Manic. I'm sorry I can't tell

501
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: you where I am for reasons of safety. My location

502
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: must be kept secret, even from myself. But it is

503
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 1: good to write you again. So much has changed in

504
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: my life since I wrote my first book, The Areas

505
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 1: of my Expertise. If I'm sorry, I love your book. Yeah,

506
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 1: I've read your book, and then you don't mind hearing

507
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: it again. I would want to hear it again, but

508
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: I don't know if we have the time to read

509
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: it in its entirety, because well, wait, wait, wait, wait,

510
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: this is a podcast, right, what he's saying, there's no rules. Yeah,

511
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: I know. It's like it's not like you got another

512
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: podcast coming on after this one. We want to sell

513
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: some of these though. You don't want to spoil it,

514
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: all right, but everyone's bugging me for the audio book,

515
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 1: and so I just figured this would be the easiest

516
00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: way podcast, So don't give it away, sting, Alright, how

517
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 1: do it? Uh? I mean, I'm We're delighted to have

518
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: you here, John, I'm delighted to be drawing pictures, read

519
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 1: some words. I could talk. I could talk all day long.

520
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 1: But we've beefed up security here recently. I noticed, and

521
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: you just appeared. They waved me through. No, I don't

522
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 1: understand how that happens. I got a ticket? Did you

523
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: a ticket? Ticket? Your podcast? Live podcast taping? We don't

524
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 1: have tickets, Oh, yes, you do, you do. I got

525
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: it through my credit card, don't Yeah, my credit card,

526
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 1: all all kinds of perks, like I'm not a sporting fellow,

527
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 1: but you know, if I wanted to go see a

528
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: sports a sports thing exhibition, like a sports contest. Do

529
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? I just call up my

530
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: independent concierge at my credit card and they get me

531
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: a ticket, and you know where my ticket is? Where

532
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: is it? Well, let's say I go to a New

533
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: York Jets game. Okay, all right, you know where my

534
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: ticket is? Where Nick Mangolds shoulders. He's a player on

535
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: that team. Yeah, yea, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

536
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: Your book a lot too? Can you get to watch it?

537
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: He is? He is the Well I don't. Maybe look,

538
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: can I stick around until next time? All right? Maybe

539
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 1: we can talk about the coming NERD Jock convergence then,

540
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 1: But right now, I look, I don't know if you

541
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: guys mind a little plugging, but I'm doing some you

542
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: know me, I loathe the advertising, but I'm doing some

543
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 1: work with with this company, this credit card company, and

544
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 1: it's really amazing. Check. Do you remember what page it's on?

545
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: You come on the diners Club. It's not just a

546
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: Diners Club card, you understand, it's a special. It's the

547
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 1: Diners Club po f H nine times Diamond card. Because

548
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: you had the m X black and you said, forget that,

549
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: we had the literally platinum card. Yeah, would you put

550
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: your gum on because it's platinum. Sure, because you can

551
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: put the gum on it, get it off very easily

552
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 1: because it's because the nature platinum. But now you have

553
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: been upgraded to the nine times Diamond Diners Club card.

554
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: It's not it's not even a card. It's not even

555
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 1: doesn't even take the shape. I know what it is,

556
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: but like you to explain it. It It takes a shape.

557
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: It's a it's a feather, it's a You actually get

558
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 1: this beautiful feather in the mail and you carry it

559
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: around with you. Here, I have mine here, it's spun

560
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 1: from gold. Is that right? Yeah, it's yeah, it's nice. Right.

561
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 1: And then when you want to make a purchase, like

562
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: you don't have to like hand over your card and

563
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: have the guy put it in the thing. Do you

564
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I mean, here's the thing. You

565
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: go into a store now and you want to you

566
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,239
Speaker 1: want to buy something that's very expensive, and you want

567
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: to treat the person like their human garbage. You used

568
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 1: to be able to just toss in their card and

569
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: then look away like you don't care. Now you have

570
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: to swipe your own card like. I can't live like that,

571
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? So that's why I

572
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 1: have this nine times diamond po FH card. Isn't a card,

573
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: It's a feather. This is a beautiful golden feather, and

574
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: I just carry it around with me, and the purchases

575
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: are like automatic, So if I want to buy something

576
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 1: with it, I don't have to give him a card

577
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: or anything. I just take the feather out and I

578
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: just lightly touched their cheeks with it two times, and

579
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 1: then it belongs to me. And you point out that

580
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: some some men have even met their wives this way. Correct,

581
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: exactly so, because the thing about it is, the thing

582
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: about having the feather is not only is it beautiful

583
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: and thus reflecting you as a deranged millionaire's love of

584
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 1: beautiful things in the world, but it allows you to

585
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: treat other people in the most humiliating way possible, which

586
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 1: is really all a deranged millionaire really wants, you know

587
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: what I mean. So it has these amazing perks I

588
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:25,360
Speaker 1: told you about the I told you about the watching

589
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,280
Speaker 1: a Jets game from the shoulders and mcmangled ticket to anything,

590
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 1: the ticket to anything. Obviously, you have a lot of

591
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: travel services because deranged millionaires like me like to travel

592
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 1: around quite a bit. So if you go to the airport,

593
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 1: you have access to special lounges we like what well,

594
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 1: not like the Admiral's Club right or or you know,

595
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 1: but like a really special lounge. Like all you have

596
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: to do is like you wouldn't even know that it

597
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 1: was even there. I'm not even familiar with the Admiral's Club.

598
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:55,720
Speaker 1: That's where the admirals go before flying the planes and

599
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: they and they drink rock and they sing sea chanty

600
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 1: and then they fly. Okay, Uh, this is a this

601
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: is a super secret, like super exclusive lounge, and it's

602
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: you just go up to you have to find a

603
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 1: Chili's to Golis Express, the Chili's Express or whatever it is,

604
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: which are two very very very different. The important thing

605
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 1: is don't go to the seating area. Go to the

606
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 1: big refrigerator bank where they have all of the different

607
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 1: tacos and Casadilla's pre made stuff, and then you just

608
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: you just gently brush your feather across a particular case

609
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: of dilla I can't tell you which, and then that

610
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:42,879
Speaker 1: slides back and there's a secret door into the special lounge. Uh,

611
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 1: did you know that, and they have leather chairs, a

612
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 1: full honor bar, a Japanese soaking tub, and all of

613
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: the Chili's express food you can eat. Yeah, but at

614
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: this time it tastes like actual food. Yeah. What else

615
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 1: is this card? Do you? John? I can't. I could

616
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 1: go on and on. There's just so many perks. Uh.

617
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: If you are a fan of the theater, who isn't yeah, um,

618
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 1: and you don't like it's you have a hard time

619
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 1: getting tickets to the Broadway Theater. Right, Well, let's say

620
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 1: you get tickets and the show is terrible, Like now,

621
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 1: you're not going to go back. But what if you

622
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: could call your concierge and have them call Peoplitzer Prize

623
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: winning playwright David Lindsay a bear and make him write

624
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 1: a new play to your specifications, maybe even starring a

625
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: character based on you. Right, And all of a sudden,

626
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: that's in the Broadway Theater And not only do you

627
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: get the best seats in the house to that particular show,

628
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: you get to watch as the ushers kick out the

629
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: people who were sitting in your seats before you. Yeah,

630
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: I know, we're talking about a good theater and oh

631
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 1: the best, Oh the best, only theaters that are named

632
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: for corporations. So we're talking about the good ones. Do

633
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? American Airlines Theater, h Foxwood's Theater,

634
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 1: UM Chili's Express Theater. Yeah, that's that's where. Yeah, it's

635
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: in the round. That's where a Book of Mormon is

636
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 1: moving to Oka And uh and what if you don't

637
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 1: have someone to go with you? You just call a

638
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: concierge and they'll set up someone to go with you. Uh.

639
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 1: Could be Laurence O'Donnell from MSNBC is the last word,

640
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: could be James Spader, He's could be Lonnie Anderson or

641
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 1: any one of a number of stable of celebrity pals

642
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: that will go with you to see the show based

643
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 1: in your Life that David Lindsay a bet had to

644
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: write for you. So do these people sign up to

645
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 1: be a pal? Or are they kind of corralled into this?

646
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 1: There's usually there's this like they've done something in their

647
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 1: past that they would rather not they've racked up terrible

648
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 1: debts or or you know, maybe they're just trying to

649
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 1: plug the last word with Laurence o'donald and MSNBC for

650
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: deranged millionaires. Yeah, there might be people that that won't

651
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 1: ever happen to me. That will never happen to me.

652
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 1: What are you saying, I'm not concerned about that. Here's

653
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: the best thing, and I'll leave it with this. After

654
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: five years of membership and good standing, premium Feather holders

655
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: will be visited in their bedroom by an old man. Yeah,

656
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: they'll wake up and they'll be a dude. I'll have

657
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 1: long white hair, and I'll be wearing like a white

658
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: suit and a white tie. And he won't be wearing

659
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 1: any shoes because he has bird feet. And he'll invite

660
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: you to go with him, and he'll give you, uh,

661
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: you'll he'll tell you to become naked, and then he'll

662
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 1: give you a robe to wear, but the robe is

663
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: like a little too short. And then you go on

664
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 1: a limousine and you go to a high rise, like

665
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 1: a skyscraper in New York City that you never noticed before,

666
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: like was always there, Yeah, it was always there. You're

667
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: just not allowed you're not allowed to see. It's it's

668
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 1: actually a zigaratte in the middle of Manhattan. You were

669
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 1: not allowed to see, but now you can. And then

670
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 1: you will go in, and you will go in and

671
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 1: you'll see all the other, uh, five year golden feather holders.

672
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 1: They're they're all wearing golden robes. You probably know them

673
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: from the Chili's Express Lounge or whatever. And then the

674
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: old man will encourage you to bathe and special waters

675
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: and be anointed with special oils. And then you will

676
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: be told that you were among the very very few

677
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 1: to ever see the zigguratte and be given the ever

678
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 1: very rare opportunity to apply for the Diners Club Premium

679
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 1: Excelsior pof D card, which costs two million dollars a

680
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 1: year to join. And uh, it's in the It's not

681
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: in the form of a feather. It's in the form

682
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 1: of a a talking milk snake, but only you. But

683
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 1: you carry around on your fingers and on your forearm

684
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: all the time. You ever see how like an old

685
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: Mark's Brothers movies or whatever have Like the really rich

686
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 1: people are walking around in their hands they sort of

687
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: like out in the air as that they're holding a cocktail,

688
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 1: but there's nothing there. Yeah, they're holding an invisible milk

689
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: snaithe they can talk to that, they can talk to,

690
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 1: can talk to them, but they're the only ones who

691
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 1: can see it. Wow. Another card holders as well, so

692
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 1: just another four years for me and I won't I

693
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: won't have to ever see you as again. Do you

694
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,439
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, do you think you'll still drop by? Yeah,

695
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: I'll drop by, but I'll keep my cloaking mechanism M

696
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: so I don't have to dract. I'll drop by for

697
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: the next three weeks maybe even. Yeah. No, I'd like

698
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: to come back and talk to more about what's you know? Well, yeah,

699
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 1: are you gonna? Are you leaving and coming back? Are

700
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,319
Speaker 1: you going to? Can we have your word that if

701
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 1: you do leave, you'll actually have left. You won't be

702
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: hanging around with invisibility on Oh no, I had, I had.

703
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:55,839
Speaker 1: I had them set up in office here and how

704
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 1: stuff works as as as safe as a safe room

705
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 1: for me. And I'll just go over there and you're

706
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 1: gonna stay here. I'll just hang out and then I'll

707
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 1: come when you guys are doing it again. I'd love

708
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: to come back and prevent you from reading more read

709
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 1: or mail. What is it? Is it Tuesday? We'll be

710
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: back in here Thursday, because we record and then publish immediately.

711
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 1: All right, we'll send you an outlooking by then. That

712
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 1: would be terrific. Okay, okay, good, all right, let's do

713
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 1: this at least one more time. Maybe we'll do it

714
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:28,279
Speaker 1: all more time. Okay, that's it for this show. All right, well, um,

715
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: our apologies to Sarah the amazing fourteen year old fans. Yeah,

716
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 1: we'll get to that. Um. If you are an amazing fan,

717
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: or how about this, If you have a question for Hodgeman,

718
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 1: we want to know it. That sounds great. You can

719
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 1: tweet to us at s y s K podcast. You

720
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 1: can also tweet directly at Hodgeman but don't um. You

721
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 1: can visit us on Facebook at facebook dot com, slash

722
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 1: stuff you Should Know, or you can send us a

723
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:58,280
Speaker 1: good old fashioned email at Stuff Podcast at how Stuff

724
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: works dot com. M be sure to check out our

725
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: new video podcast, Stuff from the Future. Join housto Work

726
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 1: staff as we explore the most promising and perplexing possibilities

727
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: of tomorrow, brought to you by the reinvented two thousand

728
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 1: twelve camera. It's ready, are you