WEBVTT - Elvis’ Mom Is In the Pod 0:00:01.520 --> 0:00:05.359 I first heard about a Man Decludes during the pandemic 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:08.360 because she was always in the news and on social 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:12.400 about this awful thing that was happening with her husband 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:17.959 and how she sat by his side and ultimately unfortunately 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:22.640 lost him. But she has such a positive force and attitude. 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:27.280 I so admire her how she has been in the 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:30.360 public eye and really helped people who are going through 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:33.680 things in their lives that I'm really excited to talk 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:35.800 to her. And here just how she does it, and 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:38.400 here about her little son and all her cool projects. 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:43.600 So here is my conversation with the man Decludes. Hello, Hi, 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:47.800 how are you. Hi? I'm glad are you I'm good? 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:50.600 Nice to me too, Yes, it's nice to meet you too. 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:53.320 Thanks for having me. Where where am I catching you? 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:57.560 I'm in l A. We just finished filming the talk today, 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:01.640 so I'm just wrapping it up starting the second half 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:04.080 of my day. I always think of like the talk 0:01:04.120 --> 0:01:05.720 is the first part of my day, and then and 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:09.360 then everything else after that. What time What time do 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:12.759 you start your day? You know, we we start work 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:15.400 at eight thirty, that's like when our first zoom is 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:19.560 and then usually done by you know noon, unless we 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:21.520 have things that we're doing afterwards. But you know, my 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:24.039 little boy gets me up around six thirty seven, so 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:26.800 so no, that's why I was asking because I've always 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:29.280 been a working mom. So you know, what time do 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:32.559 you start your day? Do you get up before your 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:36.720 son gets up? Do you get up with him? No, Bobby, 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:39.959 what's happening these days is he sleeps with me at 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:44.039 the moment, And because I love the kids so much 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:45.960 and I love cuddling with him so much, I don't 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:48.040 even care, so I'm like, sure, it comes sleep with me. 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:53.720 And the second I even try to like wiggle myself 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:57.360 out of bed, even just to use the bathroom, it's 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:00.600 like his seventh cents kicks in and he's like he 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:04.360 wakes up immediately Mom is gone and there's a freak out. 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:08.079 So I really have to like gently wake him up 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:10.640 and give him kisses and be like I'm gonna go 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:13.359 to the bathroom, and then he usually says I come 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:18.320 to Well. I am totally totally smiling because I raised 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:23.360 three sons. Oh I remember, I do, and I was. 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:25.560 I never listened to anyone and I don't know how 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:27.680 I got pregnant the second or the third time, because 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:31.040 they always slept with us, you know, but yeah, it 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:33.520 goes Honestly, it goes fast. And I just had my 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:37.160 first grandkids, so it's like it's just crazy. And so 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:41.280 I get it and and take every minute of what 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:43.679 you got of him. So of all the cuddles, right, 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:47.040 I know, like we've and we've gone through stages of 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:50.119 him sleeping in his crib and and and not, and 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:52.280 this is sort of again a new stage of him 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:54.480 being back in bed with me. And I'm like, I 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:56.400 don't have anyone else in my bed, So come on, 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:01.040 how are you doing in general? All? You know, I mean, 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:06.240 since it's been two years since Nick passed. Yeah, two years. Um, 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:09.480 you know, I'm not gonna lie. I had a really 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:12.720 hard September for some reason, I mean not for some reason. 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:16.480 It was our anniversary, it's his birthday. September always feels 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:18.720 like a new start to me, Like you know this, 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.639 it feels more to me like a new year than January. Um, 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:26.280 and I think like with all those events that are important, 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:29.799 you know, and Elvis going to school and and uh, 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:32.000 it was a hard It was a hard month. I've 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:36.640 I've felt off recently. Um. And Elvis is starting to 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:39.960 ask me questions about Nick and where he is, and 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:43.720 so I feel like that part of brief is going 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:47.600 to start happening. Um, where I have to now face 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:50.520 his grief after you know, dealing with mine for the 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:54.280 last two years and under you know, helping Elvis understand 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:57.640 in at this young age, you know where Dad is, 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:00.000 why Dad doesn't live with us, you know what happened 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:03.520 to Dad. And it's been really really, really hard, and 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:06.880 even just at this year, like his age, and he 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.200 doesn't want me to leave the house, he doesn't want 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:12.480 babysitters to come over. So find a balance of a 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:14.840 working mom and trying to also maybe go on a 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:18.160 date here there isn't is really hard and you feel 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.880 guilty every time you leave the house and he's crying. Um, 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:25.479 so yeah, it's it's actually been really hard lately. I've 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:29.440 had a lot of nights where I've cried and this 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:32.360 isn't fair and life isn't fair and I shouldn't be 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:35.440 in this position. I've had a lot of like, yeah, 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.280 and it's normal. I know it's normal and I have 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:40.520 no reason to be woe is me, But I've I've 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:43.000 been a little boe is me lately and it's I 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:45.160 hate it. I actually don't like how it feels. But 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:48.640 I'm just being honest. But you're You're allowed to feel 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:52.000 what you feel, and you know it's important. And you know, 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:54.200 I'm not a shrink. I'm a makeup artist, which is 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:57.880 something like a shrink. But you know, you've you've got 0:04:57.880 --> 0:04:59.840 to go through what you have to go through, and 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:02.800 you know, how lucky and yeah, everything does suck, but 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.960 how lucky you have this little boy who was able to, like, 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:09.040 you know, fill you fill you up? Does he remember 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:12.880 his dad? You know? He says that he does, which 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:16.520 is crazy because I don't know if that's because I 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:20.560 we watched so many videos together of Nick um or 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:23.120 if I talk because I talk about Nick so much, 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:27.479 but he does. He does say that, and I love it, 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:30.440 but it makes me wonder because I have no memories 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:32.839 from two or three years old or actually I'm sorry, 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:34.680 the only memories he would have with Nick are for 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:38.480 zero to ten months. I don't remember anything from those times, 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:42.000 so I don't I don't know, but you know, he'll 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:45.799 say things that he does, so I'm just I'm going 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:48.360 with it, you know, And how are you like? What 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:51.960 do you tell him where dad is? Oh, we just 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.760 had to start this conversation. So I have said that 0:05:56.000 --> 0:06:00.480 Dada lives in heaven with Jesus and UM, but he's 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:02.760 all around us all the time, and we can always 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.320 talk to him, and we can listen to him saying 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:09.039 and UM, and he's watching over us all the time. 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:12.440 That's what I That's what I've said so far. Okay, 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:15.839 Well it's yeah, it's it's a it's a journey. But 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:17.880 you seem I don't know you, but what I've read 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:19.920 and when I seem you seem like a very positive, 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:25.159 upbeat person by nature, and and that you know that 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.760 could only help in the long term. Well, first of all, 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:30.640 you're so freaking pretty. I just have to tell you 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:33.840 that's very kind of you. Thank you. The least important 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:35.480 thing out there. But I just had to get it 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:39.599 out of the way. Did you model? Oh? I mean 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.360 I did some commercial modeling when I first moved to 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:44.320 New York when I was going to school at eighteen. 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:47.080 But um, but that was it because I do remember 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:51.280 uh going to I think it was Spared and they 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:54.320 a modeling meeting and they said you could do it 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:57.280 a turtle, but you'd have to lose forty pounds and 0:06:57.400 --> 0:07:00.120 uh yeah, and I was like, well what Tommy, more 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:05.159 about commercial print but forty pounds but you've never But 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:07.680 that wasn't you being overweight. That was you just being normal. 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:13.560 That was me being normal. Yes, yeah, oh my gosh, okay, 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:15.200 well it's a good thing you didn't do that. And 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:18.440 what did you study in college? Musical theater. I went 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:21.200 to a musical theater conservatory in New York City. And 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:27.240 so you started your career as a dancer, dancer, actor, singer. Yes, yeah, 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:29.760 I I went to school for all three of those things, 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:33.280 a musical theater conservatory. I was mostly a dancer. Um, 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.000 but you know, to be on Broadway you have to 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:38.960 act and sing. So I rounded myself out at school 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:43.720 and then um started performing in musicals. Uh and and 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:46.280 how does that? And then what about being on the talk? 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:49.320 How does how did those skills serve you? And what 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:51.920 did you have to do differently? Oh my, well the 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:54.720 talk came out of nowhere? I mean that was when 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.760 you know, I moved to l A. I just so 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:00.520 I did Broadway for sixteen years and then and started 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:03.440 my own fitness business. So left Broadway, started my own business, 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:07.400 became a female entrepreneur, loved it, moved to Los Angeles 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:09.960 with Nick Uh. He was doing a show here in 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:13.720 Want to Pursue Music here, and I was only running 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:17.200 my fitness company. And then everything happened with the pandemic 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:21.560 and the casting. UH woman here at the talk was 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:26.120 following the story, and UM. Once Nick passed and they 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.240 were back up and running, they asked me to come 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:31.800 on and guest co host. And I think, you know, 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:38.160 Broadway teaches you everything, every skill possible in life, UM 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.640 and so, and then you know, in doing my own 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:44.640 fitness business, I had done so many morning television shows 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:49.280 and and interviews, etcetera, etcetera. So this kind of you know, 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:54.280 platform wasn't unfamiliar to me, but it was definitely was like, okay, 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:56.840 let's go on, Let's go on the talk and see 0:08:56.840 --> 0:08:59.320 how I like co hosting. And I loved it. I 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:01.880 loved it so U. It felt very much like right 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:04.800 at home. And luckily they thought so too, and then 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.720 they hired Ah that's so cool. So tell me about 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:12.079 the fitness business. The fitness business, UM, I started when 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:15.280 I was thirty two. I had been performing on Broadway 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:20.440 and television and movies for sixteen years and I kind 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:24.520 of at the point where I just was done because 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.520 it's a very hard life. I mean, you're constantly in 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:30.040 and out of work. You're constantly being told when and 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:33.679 how long and what you can do. Um. And I 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:35.440 was thirty two years old and I was in a 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.800 Broadway show, and I thought it was just going to 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:39.599 be a show that would run for years and I 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:41.920 would be able to have babies and buy a house 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:46.240 one day. And then everything sort of erupted. I was 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:48.800 going I went through a divorce with my first husband 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:51.520 after seven years of marriage. He was in a show 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.640 that was touring at the time, so we were never 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.720 seeing each other. And then this Broadway show that I 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.080 thought would be kind of like my saving grace for 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:03.280 a while, this unexpectedly closed after a couple of months. 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:07.760 So I was it was bullets over bullets over Broadway, 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:11.440 and it was what happened, you know, it was it 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:13.600 was a beautiful show, but it was in the midst 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:16.920 and the height of the Woody Allen, you know, scandal 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:20.720 and uh and in the show got bad reviews and 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:24.280 we ended up closing and it was devastating, and so 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:27.840 I found myself unemployed thirty two, going through divorce and 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:29.800 I just looked at my life and I was like, 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:33.520 I need to take control of my life. I can't 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.079 be living this in and out of show life if 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.280 I want a family and if I want a home 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.520 one day, and I need to be able to support 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:42.760 myself now that I don't have a husband that supported 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:45.240 helping to support me. And so I was like, you 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.360 know what, I'm just going to take a chance and 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:51.120 start a business. I had an idea for a jumper 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:54.400 of class, and um, I was like, you know what 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:58.000 I'm gonna I'm a trained clients privately and start making 0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:01.479 money that way, and then hopefully launched this jumper class 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:05.200 and that's what I did. Cool and and it still exists, right, 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:10.440 It still exists and now is basically all um digital. 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:13.480 I have an app that I run and everything through 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:17.840 the app. I still teach over zoom once a week, um, 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:20.319 just to keep up with live teaching because I love that. 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.360 And I get hired to teach fitness events here and there, 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:27.520 but it's mostly online now through my app, and uh yeah, 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.160 it's my baby. It's the it's I love that business 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.480 so much. It means the world to me. It it 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:37.120 helped me find myself again, and um, I'm so I'm 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.320 just so proud of it. And I'm I'm so proud 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:44.200 of the underlying message of my fitness business and and 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.680 what that means and just how important moving your body 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:50.960 is every day. It's you know, it's it's so important 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:54.040 to me that message. So I I yeah, I love 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:57.440 my fitness business. And how what motivation do you have 0:11:57.520 --> 0:11:59.679 for people listening saying oh, I really want to try, 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:01.520 but I don't know where to start. I mean, I 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:04.040 work out all the time, so I know how important 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:06.040 it is. But what about the people that are kind 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:08.559 of sitting on their couch saying, oh, you know, I'd say, 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:10.440 first of all, get up and walk while you're listening 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:16.439 to the podcast. What's your what's your motivation? Yeah, my motivation, Um, 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:20.960 it was always this, but then the pandemic amplified it. Um. 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:24.360 My motivation is that we are so lucky to be 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:27.360 able to move our bodies, Like I think we take 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:30.520 it for granted on a daily basis because we're tired 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:34.560 or cold outside, or I don't have a membership to 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:36.760 a gym, I don't have a trainer, and just not 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:41.120 in the mood, and I feel like We are so 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.760 lucky to be able to wake up and to stand 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:47.120 on two feet, and to be able to walk, and 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:49.679 to be able to jump, to be able to smile 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.559 while doing it and enjoy it, and be able to 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:56.199 treat our bodies in a way that only strengthens our 0:12:56.280 --> 0:13:00.319 mind and our soul and our our purpose and life. 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.160 And I don't think it should ever be taken for granted. 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:06.640 Working out isn't a chore, it is a privilege. And 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:09.880 you know, for nine days I sat beside my husband 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:13.200 and he could not move, He could not move his body, 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:16.560 he could not stand up. And I know from knowing 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:19.959 him that all he I mean, if if if he 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:23.560 could have even just sat up, Bobby, he couldn't even 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.520 he didn't have the strength to sit up, let alone 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:30.520 open his eyes. And we are are so lucky to 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.280 be able to do it every day, and yet we'll 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:37.000 complain about it and we take it for granted. And 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.920 it's just fitness, to me, is not about a gene size. 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:45.280 It's about that, it's about strengthening your body, your mind. 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:49.400 It is about relieving stress and anxiety, and it's about 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:52.240 not taking it for granted the fact that we're able 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:54.800 to move and if you have five minutes or fifty 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:58.160 five minutes, you do it every single day. Because it's 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:02.240 so you're you're you you can't because you can't, well 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:05.640 you're you're saying it's jump rope based. My That's how 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:08.160 I started my company with a jump rope, and then 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.560 I ended up creating a jump rope, and now I 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:12.800 sal a jump rope, but I have workouts on my 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:16.280 app from dance fitness then to full body training, little 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:19.760 to know um equipment so that you can really do 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:32.040 it anywhere at any time. You know, so much of 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:35.000 your story is so shared with the public. I mean, 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:37.960 you know, I I followed along or you know, during 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:42.760 the pandemic. I I didn't know you, but I was hooked. 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:45.000 I mean I couldn't imagine what you were going through 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.960 and how you were you know, sharing this with people. 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:52.080 Do you think this has like helped you personally? I 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.520 know it's helped a lot of people to be part 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:59.080 of the journey. Yes, you know, absolutely, I think. Um. 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.400 You know, I was in therapy after everything that happened, 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:04.920 and I asked my therapist that question. I said, you 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.760 know why, I said, you know, people would ask me 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:09.320 all the time you know, you don't have to keep 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:12.840 updating everybody on Instagram, Like, isn't this just like exhausting? 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:14.800 Like how are you doing this day in and day out? 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:19.760 And I said to him, I said, why I'm asking 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:22.600 you as a therapist. Why did that make me feel better? 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:24.840 Because all I can tell you is I would be 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.440 having a horrible day and then I would get on 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:29.720 Instagram and I would do a live or I would 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.440 sing nick song and I was joined by a lot 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:34.800 of people, and I would talk to you know, this 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:37.360 audience that was not talking back to me. It was 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:40.360 just me talking to somebody. And I said it would 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:42.160 make me feel better. And he goes, you really don't 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:43.920 know why? And I said no, and he goes, Amanda, 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:46.760 because you weren't doing it alone. You're a community, he said. 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:50.520 Any time we try to do something ourselves, it's so 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:54.560 much harder. He was, like, you were already living basically alone, 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:58.880 going through something almost basically alone your day in and 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:02.320 day out. You're you know, we're all trapped in our houses, 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.760 he said, But you weren't. You had you built this 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.480 community around you to support you and to love you 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:10.240 and to give you advice and to share things with is, 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:11.920 and of course it made you feel better. You had 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:16.240 a community. So it was that for me and I've 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:19.280 learned so much from that that the more we share 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:23.040 our stories, however hard it is to do so, you 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.840 end up feeling better because you've gotten it out of 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:29.280 your body and you've shared it with somebody. And when 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:32.880 I hear people's stories now, it helps me. Like whenever 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.360 I hear somebody you know, a lot of people now 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:37.720 come to me with their stories about you know, losing 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:42.000 somebody to you know, COVID related things, or just any anything. 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.720 And whenever I hear somebody else's story, it helps me too. 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.520 It helps me feel us alone. So I just I 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:52.000 really feel like the more we share, the more we learn, 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:55.240 and the more it helps us to grow and and 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:59.040 and change, you know, and heal. I could imagine, like 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:01.560 your choice would be to not get off the couch 0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:03.920 or the bed or to get up and do this. 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.919 You you you know, you're very very brave and you know, 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:10.880 and you you seem like you're doing as well as 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:15.359 you know could be expected. Are you dating? Is that 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:19.399 even something that's you know, entering your mind. Yeah, No, 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:23.159 I have been dating. Um, I've I've been dating for 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:27.679 a little while now. Um. I it's funny though that 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:29.960 you asked, because I think I'm going to go on 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:33.720 a little dating hiatus at the moment. It's been, it's been. 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:40.119 It's been very hard, um. And I not only finding 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:45.400 the time being a single mom with a lot of jobs, um, 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:50.120 but also it's just um for me right now, I'm 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:52.840 just I'm not finding anybody that I really connect with. 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:56.320 And so I'll go on a date and and I'll 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.920 have had a wonderful time and the person across to 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:01.720 me is wonder full and we have a great conversation, 0:18:02.320 --> 0:18:05.639 but for but for me, that connection isn't there. And 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.520 so then I end up leaving the date and I 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:12.119 end up feeling a little bit um like sad, you know, 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:14.960 like sad that like I wonder if I'm gonna find 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:17.480 somebody again. I wonder if I'm gonna find that connection 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.480 that I, you know, have had in my life before. 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:24.080 And so I end up feeling like a little like 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:26.600 I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna stay depressed a 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.199 little bit about it. And so I've just noticed in 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:32.080 these last couple of weeks of of really dating and 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:34.680 like I'm I'm really trying. I'm like going to meet 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:36.919 a coffee here, have a tea here, a glass of 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.960 wine here, a dinner there, and and like I said, 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:43.440 everybody has been really great, but it's just it's left 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:46.840 me sort of in in um feeling a little bit depressed. 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:50.560 And so I kind of stepped back recently the last 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:52.480 couple of days, and I've just been like, you know what, 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:56.680 maybe I need to take a pause, um and and 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:59.080 and not do this right now because I don't think 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:03.080 it's serving um, it's not serving me well. So UM, 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:05.320 so I'm gonna I'm gonna take a little dating break 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:09.040 at the moment, focus on my son. But have these 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:11.760 been fixed ups or a little bit of both. I'm 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:14.639 on an app, so a lot of a lot of 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:18.280 meeting people through an app and then also um, also 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:21.160 fixing up through friends. I have no doubt you will 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:24.520 find who you're supposed to be with. But you've you've 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:26.840 been so incredible sharing your story. I know you wrote 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:32.280 a book during um, you know, after after your experiences. 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:35.000 What was the name of your book, again, Live your Life? 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:40.520 And yeah, it was a memoir about you know, everything 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:43.959 that happened, but also the love story between Nick and 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:48.080 I and and how that happened and everything that happened 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:52.000 with yes, with COVID and also you're an author. Now 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:55.879 you have a children's book. Yeah, the children's book, um 0:19:55.920 --> 0:20:00.439 will come out next year. And UM, so crazy it was. 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:03.680 It was honestly a dream of mine. UM back when 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:07.680 when I when Elvis first was born. UM, I don't 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:09.919 know if you found this, but I found that I 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:13.520 was like so inspired by Elvis in so many different ways, 0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:17.320 especially being a new mom. Um. And one of the 0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:20.280 things that really happened, you know, right away, was I 0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:23.520 had all these ideas for children's books, and so I 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:26.000 wrote it on my vision board back in twenty nineteen 0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.439 that I, you know, wanted to do children's books. So 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:33.320 to actually haven't materialized now is sort of crazy. Um 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:36.000 and it and it's very sweet. It came out of 0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:39.080 UM just our Elvis and I. We have a nightly 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:41.600 routine when I put him to bed. This is when 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:43.840 he was sleeping in his career. Because I told you 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:48.360 before he's not anymore. He's now sleeping with Mama, but 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:52.000 but we still do the tradition. But I rocked him 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:54.359 and I started asking him, do you want me to 0:20:54.400 --> 0:20:58.520 tell you your dreams, and he started interacting him by 0:20:58.680 --> 0:21:02.040 and saying yes. And so then I just each night 0:21:02.080 --> 0:21:05.520 would make up this fantastical dream about what he was 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.480 gonna do and where he was going to go. And 0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:11.440 because I really tried to incorporate Nick and a lot 0:21:11.480 --> 0:21:14.680 of things that we do, I would always incorporate Nick 0:21:14.800 --> 0:21:17.640 in the dream that you know, he would meet meet 0:21:17.720 --> 0:21:21.080 up with Dada and they'd go on and adventure together, 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:23.280 and then Dada would bring him back home and put 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:25.360 him back in his crib and kiss him good night. 0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:28.800 And then in the morning, Mama would come into your 0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:30.920 room and wake you up and ask you all about 0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:34.120 what happened with your dream. And so I started doing 0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:36.920 this every night. It was just like our routine. And 0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:41.080 after a while I I thought, you know, gosh, maybe 0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:43.040 this is a children's book. And so I pitched it 0:21:43.119 --> 0:21:46.240 to HarperCollins, who had done Live Your Life with me, 0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:49.480 and they loved it and they were like absolutely, and 0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:53.640