Speaker 1: Taric El Musa is an American real estate investor and
Speaker 1: TV personality. He's best known for co hosting HGTV's Flip
Speaker 1: or Flop alongside his ex wife, Christina Hall. Tark is
Speaker 1: here to talk about his journey in real estate and
Speaker 1: his life. His new book is called Flip Your Life.
Speaker 1: Great great read. Definitely, this is one you're going to
Speaker 1: want to listen to. This will just be with tarik
Speaker 1: El Musa. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2: How are you.
Speaker 3: I'm doing fantastic. How are you?
Speaker 2: I'm okay.
Speaker 1: I have been reading about you, and I guess it's
Speaker 1: obviously I've heard about you and heard your name, But
Speaker 1: as happens with many people, I then start eating about
Speaker 1: them and I'm like, holy shit, this guy's had a life.
Speaker 3: It's been interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So you seem to be pretty transparent and out there
Speaker 1: about everything you've experienced, maybe even more so now than ever.
Speaker 1: But that's something that really jumped off the page for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: You know, you know, looking back in the last twenty
Speaker 4: years of my life, I'll look at that. You know,
Speaker 4: there there have been a lot of struggles, a lot
Speaker 4: of ups, a lot of downs, and you know, I'm
Speaker 4: still here still working, still motivated, still thriving. And that's
Speaker 4: really what my new book's about. It's about flipping your life,
Speaker 4: and I really talk about it doesn't matter how bad
Speaker 4: your life is. You know, we all go through shit,
Speaker 4: we all go through some really really hard times, and
Speaker 4: it's what you do during during those times is what
Speaker 4: determines your future. You know, most people, something bad happens
Speaker 4: in their life, you know, and sometimes no waste years
Speaker 4: are even decades dwelling on negative past experiences. And I'm
Speaker 4: a big believer in just acceptance, accepting your situation, accepting
Speaker 4: that you know, life's not fair, and because life's not fair,
Speaker 4: you've got to do the best you can with what
Speaker 4: you got, and you got to keep.
Speaker 1: Going, yeah, and reinventing yourself. And I guess you're I'm
Speaker 1: very much like that, where whatever's happening, as brutal as
Speaker 1: it is, even when it's happening, I realized that, like
Speaker 1: there's meaning to it and that there will be. I
Speaker 1: think it is golf like golf holes. You're at what
Speaker 1: hole are you at? You at the fourth hole? Sometimes
Speaker 1: you stay there forever, someon as you go backwards, but
Speaker 1: hopefully to get through the game. So you always knew
Speaker 1: you wanted to be in real estate. That was something
Speaker 1: that you thought of young.
Speaker 3: No, I didn't actually know. I always wanted to be
Speaker 3: in real estate.
Speaker 4: When I was an eighteen nineteen year old kid, I
Speaker 4: was dating a girl in her family where real estate investors,
Speaker 4: and her dad would tell me war stories from the
Speaker 4: nineteen sixties, how he would play poker and lose houses
Speaker 4: on hands and these wild stories. Unfortunately, he liked gambling,
Speaker 4: especially on horses, and he didn't have much at the
Speaker 4: time that I met him. At the time, I was
Speaker 4: actually selling kitchen knives. Lost my lead book one day,
Speaker 4: so put myself out of business. Standing at an ATM
Speaker 4: and a parking lot, asking myself what's next. I looked
Speaker 4: over and there was a crooked sign flapping in the
Speaker 4: wind and said, wise old out real estate school. So
Speaker 4: I thought to myself, you know, if I can sell knives,
Speaker 4: I could probably sell houses.
Speaker 3: And that's how I got started.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, and do you love real estate? Like do
Speaker 1: you love the game of it? And it is I mean,
Speaker 1: you're talking about a horse gamber. I grew up at
Speaker 1: the racetrack, being a I would say, it's a side hustle.
Speaker 1: Like it's a passion of mine. I love to invest
Speaker 1: in real estate, and I do. I have flipped houses
Speaker 1: sort of intentionally. I want to talk to you about
Speaker 1: the psychology of that and the decisions in that. But
Speaker 1: do you it is like it is like a gamble
Speaker 1: sometimes I mean calculated, but there you know, you can't
Speaker 1: predict the top or the bottom, and sometimes you get screwed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4: I mean it depends on what you qualify as screwed. Right, So,
Speaker 4: if you're investing over twenty years and two of those
Speaker 4: twenty years didn't go.
Speaker 3: So well, did you get screwed or did you do
Speaker 3: really well? Well?
Speaker 4: I say you did really really well. I say the
Speaker 4: analogy all the time. If I gave you a million
Speaker 4: dollars twenty times and you went to Vegas and you
Speaker 4: only want eighteen times, would you still.
Speaker 2: Go Yeah, it's so true. That's very true.
Speaker 1: It's true because I sometimes think about the one apartment
Speaker 1: that I lost on which bothers me. But you're right,
Speaker 1: I've sold probably six seven places and done well.
Speaker 2: So that's true.
Speaker 3: Exactly.
Speaker 4: It's the averages, and it's the fear that prevents people
Speaker 4: from getting in the game, and that fear prevents them
Speaker 4: from building wealth, and we all know we need to
Speaker 4: be buying real estate. And the funny thing is, you know,
Speaker 4: most people, when they get older, their entire net worth
Speaker 4: comes from their primary residence. So imagine if everyone that
Speaker 4: owned a home just bought one or two more, what
Speaker 4: would those golden years look like?
Speaker 1: Well, that's a good question, you flip. So do you
Speaker 1: believe in really keeping real estate? Do you believe in
Speaker 1: a combination? Meaning some people invest in real estate so
Speaker 1: it's an income producing asset that's going to throw off
Speaker 1: money every month. Some people want to like get in
Speaker 1: and get out. I like the get in and get out,
Speaker 1: you know, holding a couple of things. But I'm not
Speaker 1: a person that psychologically wants to hold so many places.
Speaker 1: And I want to know, but many people I know
Speaker 1: do think you should hold the assets for what do
Speaker 1: you think?
Speaker 3: Well, one hundred million percent hold the assets.
Speaker 4: The reason I got into flipping houses was so I
Speaker 4: can make money so I can buy real estate.
Speaker 3: Okay, so today I own a.
Speaker 4: Little over two hundred rental properties, you know, over well
Speaker 4: over a thousand apartments. We're developing self storage, we're developing
Speaker 4: multi family. But here's the most important thing I've learned
Speaker 4: over the years. You buy it, you said it, and
Speaker 4: you forget it. I mean, I looked at all these
Speaker 4: deals I flipped years ago. I literally could have stopped
Speaker 4: flipping houses eight years ago and just held the ones
Speaker 4: I had, and probably would have made more money than
Speaker 4: flipping almost a thousand houses.
Speaker 1: If you're renting them out or if you're just holding
Speaker 1: them because of the direction the market's gone, because you're
Speaker 1: not renting them out. And renting them out means you
Speaker 1: have to be a landlord. So like, I had a
Speaker 1: four thousand square apartment in New York City that I
Speaker 1: was never going to rent out that I was paying
Speaker 1: you know, a lot a year on, so I had to.
Speaker 1: I wanted to let it go because I felt like
Speaker 1: it's just sucking up income. What do you think about that?
Speaker 3: Oh, one hundred percent.
Speaker 4: I would never have an asset sitting there not receiving
Speaker 4: cash flow.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: And I think a lot of people get confused about
Speaker 4: what investing is, Like, I don't want the headaches of
Speaker 4: holding and this and that. The only time you have
Speaker 4: headaches is if you create the headaches, meaning if you
Speaker 4: get involved as a real estate investor. You're not a
Speaker 4: property manager. You shouldn't be talking to tennis. You shouldn't
Speaker 4: be worrying about repairs. You hire people to do that,
Speaker 4: and your job is to go out there find more
Speaker 4: deals and continue to build wealth.
Speaker 2: Great, so we agree.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're talking about it as an income producing asset,
Speaker 1: but you don't believe in holding.
Speaker 2: You don't believe in.
Speaker 1: Having three homes of your own that are just sitting
Speaker 1: there hoping that the market will go up and in
Speaker 1: five years will be worth more. That's not what you're
Speaker 1: talking about.
Speaker 5: You're talking about I mean, yeah, I mean sure, Like
Speaker 5: you know, you're a billionaire with a limited money and
Speaker 5: you don't give a shit and yeah sure, But like
Speaker 5: you know, for the normal person, having an asset sitting
Speaker 5: there sucking away your cash flow isn't a good thing
Speaker 5: to have.
Speaker 3: So that is something I would not do.
Speaker 1: And where are you on? Are you always about owning
Speaker 1: versus renting? Because some people think in situations based on
Speaker 1: your money being in the market versus being in a property,
Speaker 1: they would rather rent, not have the property sucking up
Speaker 1: their money.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: See, that's that's one of those things that we've been
Speaker 4: seeing a lot over the last couple of years, don't
Speaker 4: buy a house and this and that. So here's the truth, right, So, like,
Speaker 4: does it make more sense to probably buy some rental
Speaker 4: properties first before buying a primary residence. It probably does.
Speaker 4: But let's think about this. We're humans, right, we have families,
Speaker 4: we're here once. There's more to life than just money.
Speaker 4: And I think owning a home and having pride of
Speaker 4: ownership is very very important, especially for you know your
Speaker 4: self worth, your confidence, and you want to be excited
Speaker 4: about the place that you live. You want to come
Speaker 4: home and feel good. So sometimes by owning a house,
Speaker 4: you know, you actually end up becoming more successful because
Speaker 4: the way it makes you feel.
Speaker 2: By the way, I could not agree. I think it's pride.
Speaker 1: And even if it's like I'm a person that likes
Speaker 1: small and perfect like whatever it is, you know, designed
Speaker 1: with an inach of its life, if it's going to
Speaker 1: make you feel good, I'm that person too. I'd much
Speaker 1: rather spend money on the home than on something else,
Speaker 1: like then a bag or something else. That's that's very smart.
Speaker 1: And so now it's all your own money, do you
Speaker 1: have investors? Like, how does that all work? And how
Speaker 1: did it work? In the beginning and you know, have
Speaker 1: you gotten caught holding the bag? Like, what's that ride been? Like?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I got started flipping houses. I
Speaker 4: came up with the idea in twenty ten, and I
Speaker 4: actually pitched the idea of getting a TV show about
Speaker 4: flipping houses before I've ever flipped a house, So that
Speaker 4: was a wild experience.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So bought my first flip in twenty ten, bought it
Speaker 4: out the auction for one hundred and fifteen thousand. That
Speaker 4: same week that I bought a flip, I went to
Speaker 4: a real estate convention in Las Vegas. There was about
Speaker 4: five thousand people there and I met a guy and
Speaker 4: at the break he was telling me he had a
Speaker 4: local TV show and he got all this business out
Speaker 4: of it. So I was like, man, I got to
Speaker 4: get on TV. Two days later, I went home and
Speaker 4: I just had this crazy idea, Let's get a TV show.
Speaker 4: I told my ex wife. She said TV show about what.
Speaker 4: I said, Well, we just bought our first house to flip.
Speaker 4: Why don't we flip houses on TV?
Speaker 2: Nice?
Speaker 3: She said? She called me crazy. She went to bed.
Speaker 4: I jumped on Google Hollywood production companies. They came up
Speaker 4: found button that said, casting, sent some pictures, and next
Speaker 4: morning I woke up and they said, send a home video.
Speaker 4: And that's where it all started. Yeah yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 4: very like.
Speaker 2: Let's go. I'm the state. You're very like, all right,
Speaker 2: let's do it.
Speaker 3: Let's go right now, let's go.
Speaker 4: I believe anything's possible, and if you got to go
Speaker 4: for it every single day or you're never going to
Speaker 4: go anywhere. So I'm a believer that, like you know,
Speaker 4: manifestation is a real thing if you're willing to work
Speaker 4: your ass off, right, So so they responded, send a
Speaker 4: home video, so we documented that very first flip. Of
Speaker 4: course they loved it. I didn't know anything about construction.
Speaker 4: I mean I electric tutd myself. I burned my feet
Speaker 4: with acid. I painted all the baseboards to the floor.
Speaker 4: So I just did everything wrong.
Speaker 3: But I was there.
Speaker 4: I was there twelve fourteen hours a day, got the
Speaker 4: deal done start to finish with the buyer closed under
Speaker 4: sixty days, thirty four thousand dollars. And for me back then,
Speaker 4: it was life changing because it was getting right out
Speaker 4: of the Great Recession, and that very first deal, I
Speaker 4: found a partner and the deal was we went fifty
Speaker 4: to fifty. The deal went well, so moving forward, I
Speaker 4: had no money, so he put up all the money.
Speaker 4: I did all the work. We split fifty to fifty.
Speaker 4: So that's how we launched the business. And then in
Speaker 4: two thousand so I shot the pilot. Actually, ten months
Speaker 4: after we delivered the home video, we shot a pilot
Speaker 4: for HGTV.
Speaker 3: They finally wanted a pilot.
Speaker 4: Then I was told, you know, the odds of getting
Speaker 4: a show are small, and if you get a show,
Speaker 4: it's going to take a long time. So two weeks
Speaker 4: later I get a contract for a house flipping show
Speaker 4: on HGTV where I got to flip thirteen houses and
Speaker 4: ten months.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, right, No, it sounds very torturous.
Speaker 3: It sounds two problems.
Speaker 4: Two problems. One, I have no idea how to flip houses.
Speaker 4: Problem too, even if I did, we're in the world.
Speaker 4: Am I gonna get all this money cash flock?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: So you know, I called my lawyer. I said, what's
Speaker 4: the worst case. He said, they could sue you. I
Speaker 4: looked around my apartment. I said, they can have it signed.
Speaker 4: That contract burned the boats. That first year, I worked
Speaker 4: all day and then overnight I would drive properties that
Speaker 4: were going to the auction in the morning to make
Speaker 4: sure nobody lived there. So from ten PM to four am,
Speaker 4: I drove southern California by myself.
Speaker 3: And then every morning at nine am, I was at
Speaker 3: the auction.
Speaker 2: Unbelievable, and that guy put up that money.
Speaker 4: He put up that money, and I kept bringing better
Speaker 4: and better deals. He kept putting on money, and then
Speaker 4: we became full blown business partners. Outside of that, we
Speaker 4: started raising capital and you know, started flipping mid twenty ten.
Speaker 4: By two thousand and I think fourteen, we had as
Speaker 4: many as seventy to eighty flips going at one time. So,
Speaker 4: you know, I've always changed my life very fast, safe,
Speaker 4: and I'm a big believer that you can make money
Speaker 4: very fast. Most people think it's this twenty year or
Speaker 4: ten year thing. I went for him being a broke
Speaker 4: twenty year old kid living in my mom's garage with
Speaker 4: cockroaches because I couldn't afford to rent my bedroom because
Speaker 4: my parents got divorced, to living at a million dollar
Speaker 4: house in ninety days.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you seem fairly fearless, and you're just like, let's
Speaker 1: go and now what's the state of your business. Not
Speaker 1: the entertainment aspect, but like, it's your money. You still
Speaker 1: are partners with this guy. What kind of investments are
Speaker 1: you making? Like what's going on now?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 4: So today I own nine different brands and I run
Speaker 4: nine different brands, but the original company is called Tart
Speaker 4: Buys Houses. That's where we buy fix and flip, and
Speaker 4: we also wholesale houses. So we'll probably this year. The
Speaker 4: goal is to do in twenty twenty four three hundred
Speaker 4: to three hundred and fifty transactions, and I'm looking to
Speaker 4: scale that into the thousands over the next couple of years.
Speaker 4: Majority of the deals I'm doing right now is wholesaling.
Speaker 4: Are you familiar with wholesaling? No, It's my one of
Speaker 4: my favorite things about real estate investing, and most people
Speaker 4: don't get started because they think it takes money. It
Speaker 4: doesn't take money. So I'm gonna explain wholesaling to you, Bethany.
Speaker 4: Let's just say that Bob calls me. He has a
Speaker 4: fixer upper. He wants to sell me the house. It
Speaker 4: needs a lot of work, but when it's fixed up,
Speaker 4: it's worth six hundred thousand. I agree to buy the
Speaker 4: house from Bob for three hundred thousand. So in the contract,
Speaker 4: the buyer tark al musa oor a signe. Because I
Speaker 4: put ora signe. That means I can assign that contract
Speaker 4: to someone else. So now I got a contract for
Speaker 4: three hundred. I call you, Bethany. Hey, Bethany, I got
Speaker 4: this incredible house for four hundred thousand and needs fifty
Speaker 4: thousand in work.
Speaker 3: It's worth six hundred. You want it? Yeah, I want it.
Speaker 4: So now Bethany buys the house from Bob, but I
Speaker 4: get the difference in contract price, which in this case
Speaker 4: is one hundred thousand dollars. The great thing is I
Speaker 4: don't have risk. Why I didn't take a mortgage. I
Speaker 4: have no skin in the game. There's no loan, there's
Speaker 4: no carrying cost.
Speaker 2: It's like being a diamond broker. You just have the contacts.
Speaker 2: Like same thing.
Speaker 1: By the way, selling handbags on the secondary market, no
Speaker 1: one knows where to go, who the buyer is. You
Speaker 1: just know you're going to these people that are taking
Speaker 1: twenty five percent because you just want to get rid
Speaker 1: of your arms bag. But they know where all the
Speaker 1: people are, and that's a service. That is they deserve
Speaker 1: the money because I don't know who the hell Jane
Speaker 1: is who wants the bag.
Speaker 3: Exactly and that's the beautiful thing.
Speaker 4: So I have a company called Homeschooled by Tark where
Speaker 4: I teach people how to wholesale houses, how to flip houses.
Speaker 4: And it's the most beautiful thing when you have someone
Speaker 4: come in knows nothing about real estate, that's struggling, that
Speaker 4: can't make their rent, and you watch them, over a
Speaker 4: year period, completely flip their.
Speaker 2: Life because they can hustle and find the people in between.
Speaker 2: That is a skill set. Yeah, they don't have to
Speaker 2: touch anything.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you how easy house slipping is.
Speaker 4: Right, most people, they overcomplicate everything and that's why most
Speaker 4: people don't get started. Like I have this gift of
Speaker 4: simplifying things. So here's how you flip houses. There's two
Speaker 4: ways to find them. Way number one you talk to
Speaker 4: people that own them. Way number two, you talk to
Speaker 4: people that sell them. So if you can talk to
Speaker 4: people that own houses and sell houses and ask them
Speaker 4: do you have any fixed ruppers I can buy, you
Speaker 4: can flip houses. Two funding you can raise private private money,
Speaker 4: or you just wholesale it. Once you get the contract.
Speaker 4: Phase three, Well, I'm not fixing the house. Can someone
Speaker 4: hire a contractor with references and experience to fix up
Speaker 4: the house. Yeah, of course, step four you got to
Speaker 4: sell a house. Well, I'm not selling a house. Can
Speaker 4: someone hire a real estate agent to listen to sell
Speaker 4: that house?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: So what is house flipping? House flipping is being good
Speaker 4: at finding deals.
Speaker 1: It's like being a producer of a film, puts together
Speaker 1: all the elements and they sit at the board. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like that. There are different ways I have unintentionally
Speaker 1: flipped houses, because one I did with Frederick, which did
Speaker 1: really which did very well in a market that was changing.
Speaker 1: Because you're increasing value if you're willing to do the work,
Speaker 1: as you know, that's the thing that people don't want
Speaker 1: to do. But for me, I'll look in a space
Speaker 1: that I know that's like right near my house, a
Speaker 1: neighborhood and area that I know that I'm passionate about,
Speaker 1: and I always choose something that I would live in
Speaker 1: that I would definitely the shit hit the fan, have
Speaker 1: a better property I could sell, and then I'd be
Speaker 1: willing to live there that I'm passionate about, that I'm
Speaker 1: excited about it, that I like is like another like
Speaker 1: jewel Box project. And then because I'm so into it
Speaker 1: and I'm passionate about it, I'll either use it or
Speaker 1: live there, or sell it, which happened during the pandemic.
Speaker 1: I found a place for myself in Connecticut that ended
Speaker 1: up being a little smaller than what I would need,
Speaker 1: But because it had all my finishing touches and my passion,
Speaker 1: I was able to sell it for a lot of money.
Speaker 2: And it happened. I did it.
Speaker 1: Twice, so that was I get a little more personal
Speaker 1: about it. Like most people are dispassionate, I have to
Speaker 1: get really passionate about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And there's different types of investors, right, there's more
Speaker 4: of the passionate investor, and then they're more of the
Speaker 4: I want to just build wealth and I don't care
Speaker 4: about the emotional side investor right exactly.
Speaker 1: But I can't get into it unless i'm into it
Speaker 1: because I need to be able to ride both lines.
Speaker 1: Like know that you know what I'm saying, Like, I
Speaker 1: can't just get into it for like an industrial reason
Speaker 1: just mentally, I don't know why.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well we might need to work on that.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a side thing because I don't want like
Speaker 1: I don't I love it, but only I only love
Speaker 1: it if it's something I really like for me. So
Speaker 1: I just liked the safety aspect if I'm over buying,
Speaker 1: Like I bought a house out of like a passionate reason.
Speaker 1: I like the safety aspect of knowing I could dump it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. That's it's sort of more
Speaker 1: of like that. So you've had some trouble. It says
Speaker 1: you lived in a halfway house, you were addicted to steroids, you.
Speaker 2: Went through a cancer scare.
Speaker 1: We'll get into it individually, but in talking to you now,
Speaker 1: I'm realizing how you were addicted to steroids.
Speaker 4: You know, looking back reflecting on my life, you know,
Speaker 4: I'm forty two years old today and looking back like
Speaker 4: I see all the mistakes.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: So, throughout my entire life severe ADHD, suffer with anxiety,
Speaker 4: always had issues with sleep. My late teen years, I
Speaker 4: major sleep issues, which I started drinking so I could
Speaker 4: fall asleep, which then in turn turned me into a
Speaker 4: raging alcoholic, which then in turn caused me to gain
Speaker 4: sixty pounds, which then in turn made me hate myself.
Speaker 4: So from eighteen to twenty I was rock bottom, looked
Speaker 4: in the mirror, cried every day, hated myself, gained sixty pounds,
Speaker 4: clothing wouldn't fit, girls, stopped looking at me, stretch marks
Speaker 4: on my body. It was rock bottom, and I thought,
Speaker 4: this is it. You peaked in high school. Your life
Speaker 4: is over. And I beat this shit out of myself
Speaker 4: every single day, and then one day, actually the beginning
Speaker 4: of flipping my life for the first time was when
Speaker 4: I was living at my mom's house in that garage
Speaker 4: because she rented out my bedroom and this guy moved
Speaker 4: in from Texas. Tattoos had to toe in my old
Speaker 4: bedroom and I see him walking through the kitchen one day.
Speaker 4: He says, hey, you want to work out tomorrow, And
Speaker 4: I'm sixty pounds overweight, like I'm big, and just to
Speaker 4: blow him off like most people moment, yeah sure, and
Speaker 4: I'm thinking we're gonna go do a couple of push ups.
Speaker 4: The next day, seven o'clock comes, He's like you ready.
Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, let's go to the garage. I have dumbells.
Speaker 4: He goes, no, We're going to the gym. I went
Speaker 4: to the gym that night for two hours. I almost died.
Speaker 4: The next night he made me go. The next night
Speaker 4: he made me go. Three weeks later, I started gaining hope.
Speaker 4: Six weeks in my body was changing and I was back.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that was the first hit and that was another.
Speaker 1: It feels like that was extreme too. Now you're like
Speaker 1: addicted to the gym, you know, like you need something
Speaker 1: to be focusing on. The sleep thing is a big
Speaker 1: discussion that probably led to, like you had issues with
Speaker 1: hormones and sleep does. Lack of sleep does lead to
Speaker 1: so many problems and weight gain in particular, because you're eating.
Speaker 1: People are eating their feelings or they think they're hungry,
Speaker 1: they're just exhausted. It's like feeding themselves. After I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell you, like my I've I've always had struggles
Speaker 1: with sleep and it's a discipline and I want to
Speaker 1: tell you after what what I do. And I'm even
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty four, I have a new sleep I
Speaker 1: always have some new sleep regiment.
Speaker 2: It's working. I go deeper.
Speaker 3: I love it. I love that that you just said that.
Speaker 3: Like I.
Speaker 4: By the way, I finally mastered my sleep over the
Speaker 4: last six months.
Speaker 3: I've figured it out.
Speaker 4: I'm going to sleep at the same time, I'm waking
Speaker 4: up at the same time, and for the first time,
Speaker 4: I'm sleeping between between like you know, four and a
Speaker 4: half and six hours a night. So it's been just
Speaker 4: beautiful and that's.
Speaker 1: Not even a ton. But are you okay? So do
Speaker 1: you take anything now to see?
Speaker 4: So the interesting thing is I was taking all these
Speaker 4: different sleeping pills, and what would happen is I would
Speaker 4: take them, I'd fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, I'd wake
Speaker 4: up in this weird, like delusional state where like I mean,
Speaker 4: it's just torture if anyone's been through it.
Speaker 3: And this is how I overcame it.
Speaker 4: So a lot of the sleep anxiety, as you know
Speaker 4: with insomnia, it's like you're in bed at nine o'clock,
Speaker 4: nine thirty, ten o'clock, right, and then you're falling asleep
Speaker 4: at oh shit, it's eleven, eleven thirty, and then it
Speaker 4: starts getting later.
Speaker 3: Then you start thinking about the morning, I'm gonna get no.
Speaker 2: Sleep, oh my god, counting.
Speaker 4: So here's what I did, because I was waking up
Speaker 4: at six thirty every day, and one day I said,
Speaker 4: you know what, I'm gonna wake up so obnoxiously early.
Speaker 4: I can't be stressed out the night before because I'm
Speaker 4: gonna have so much free time in the morning. So
Speaker 4: I started waking up and it was torture at like
Speaker 4: four am.
Speaker 3: But here's what happened.
Speaker 4: The first two weeks were awful because I'd fall asleep
Speaker 4: at eleven twelve one, but no matter what, I'd have
Speaker 4: to wake up at four. No matter what, Yeah, I'd
Speaker 4: make myself wake up at four. And then what happened
Speaker 4: was my body became so exhausted. I eventually started falling asleep.
Speaker 4: But I had to wake up at four.
Speaker 2: Oh, you like had to do? You do like a
Speaker 2: boot camp for yourself to try.
Speaker 3: To, like Joel exactly, reset the body.
Speaker 4: So by waking up at four, I got rid of
Speaker 4: my anxiety of Okay, I gotta wake up at six,
Speaker 4: and I got to be at the gym at seven.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be rush right, So by waking up at four,
Speaker 4: I knew I was gonna have a peaceful warning.
Speaker 3: And then what happens is you just get so tired.
Speaker 4: Eventually, it's ten o'clock at night and you've woken up
Speaker 4: at four am for the past two weeks. Naturally, I
Speaker 4: started falling asleep, and that's how I fixed my sleeping problem.
Speaker 3: And now I have fallen in love with the mornings.
Speaker 4: The most exciting part of my day is like sometimes
Speaker 4: I'll wake up at three and I'm excited to get
Speaker 4: up because between three and six thirty am, it's peace.
Speaker 4: I got the fire going, it's black outside. I can create,
Speaker 4: I can think.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you what I did because it's different,
Speaker 1: but there are many roads to roam. So yes, I've
Speaker 1: used the apps. I think the apps are great. I
Speaker 1: do not take anything. I used to be a person too,
Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep. I won't take anything. So the first
Speaker 1: thing for me is to allow yourself that you may
Speaker 1: not fall asleep. Okay, what's going to happen the next day?
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna die. You slept four hours? What you're going
Speaker 1: to die?
Speaker 2: Who care?
Speaker 1: Like? Allow that instead of the noise in the mania
Speaker 1: of I have the Today Show tomorrow? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Like that noise had to go. So the noise of
Speaker 1: it was like what that was the worst paralysis. That's
Speaker 1: the first thing.
Speaker 3: Acceptance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like okay, so for years it's different. I'm getting
Speaker 1: up at four.
Speaker 2: It's the same. Those two things are saying the same thing.
Speaker 4: It's a less no but the same thing as you.
Speaker 4: Because I what used to trust me. I was thinking, oh,
Speaker 4: I'm only going to get four hours of sleep, and
Speaker 4: then one night I realized, well, I'm gonna be fine.
Speaker 1: Okay, So that's the first thing. It's a boring story.
Speaker 1: Nobody cares you didn't sleep, okay. But then what happened
Speaker 1: was I started really watching, listening to the stupid things
Speaker 1: people say watching TV in a different room. Do not
Speaker 1: watch TV in my space. And then I put my
Speaker 1: phone on a curfew, like at nine o'clock. But again,
Speaker 1: if I wanted to go on the phone, that's fine,
Speaker 1: but not have it come in my room. Go to
Speaker 1: it like going to the fridge to eat the cake,
Speaker 1: Like you still have to go to the other room.
Speaker 1: You may not want to eat the cake, but you
Speaker 1: at least have to walk your ass into the kitchen
Speaker 1: to get it, which is an effort. So now it's
Speaker 1: like you want to go see the phone, you thought
Speaker 1: of something, You go to the phone like a notebook
Speaker 1: to go to it, and then go back to your space.
Speaker 1: So I gave my phone at nine o'clock curfew that yes,
Speaker 1: you can break some times, like it's not no one's
Speaker 1: gonna die, but it's that's a game changer.
Speaker 2: And then I have a sleep like a cabinet.
Speaker 1: I have this forever in another closet, it's a warming
Speaker 1: cabinet and it warms these like herbal neck pillows. Okay,
Speaker 1: I right before I go to sleep, I get it.
Speaker 1: I put it around my neck. The warmth and the
Speaker 1: herbs like calms you down. And I breathe in and
Speaker 1: out and you can't get to five breaths, like heavy
Speaker 1: deep breaths, and you pass out. And I myself too,
Speaker 1: like wind it down at nine o'clock. The phone's curfew
Speaker 1: was kind of mine. I'm not fucking around in my
Speaker 1: room on anything because there's no TV and no phone,
Speaker 1: and I end up sleeping minimum seven seven and a
Speaker 1: half hours a night.
Speaker 2: It's changed my life.
Speaker 3: That's beautiful.
Speaker 4: And most people, if they would just understand by creating
Speaker 4: a sleep schedule, the rest of their life would be
Speaker 4: so much easier.
Speaker 2: Beyond beyond, like it. It's so important.
Speaker 1: And again I went out to a premier two nights
Speaker 1: ago and I went to bed at one o'clock and
Speaker 1: it did you know, it wasn't as easy to get
Speaker 1: to sleep.
Speaker 2: But no one died.
Speaker 1: I was tired, and you know, and I find that
Speaker 1: when you're on a sleep schedule, you're napping, you can
Speaker 1: you can watch TV and your body will fall asleep,
Speaker 1: because once you start to allow yourself to sleep, you're
Speaker 1: more tired sometimes at other times, like your body is
Speaker 1: more relaxed versus being manic.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, honestly, I couldn't agree more. Like the number one
Speaker 4: focus is sleep. Like I even have this whoop thing
Speaker 4: on and every night, you know, I'm competing trying to
Speaker 4: get more sleep.
Speaker 1: Yes, my fiance Paul has the whoop. He loves it
Speaker 1: and tells you you're you're in a deficit.
Speaker 2: You did this.
Speaker 1: I have a sleep tracker that's under the mattress and
Speaker 1: it just basically says, like what happened. It's not as
Speaker 1: detailed did that people.
Speaker 2: Do the or or ring. It's all good.
Speaker 1: You intervened in your life and you live in a
Speaker 1: halfway house.
Speaker 4: For me, you know I lost everything, you know when,
Speaker 4: and you know in twenty sixteen, the day my ex
Speaker 4: wife left me, And you know, I lost everything mostly
Speaker 4: because of me and my actions and the way I
Speaker 4: treated people. And you know, I went through lock with
Speaker 4: the cancers and the steroids, and I have one hundred
Speaker 4: percent was not myself by any means. But at the
Speaker 4: same time, I wasn't the best guy. So there's a
Speaker 4: lot of you know understanding of you know, why my
Speaker 4: ex wife left me, but you know, it broke me.
Speaker 4: You know, I was in love with her, I was
Speaker 4: in love with my family. I was in love with
Speaker 4: the life we built, and I felt like it was
Speaker 4: taken away from me without any notice, and I wasn't
Speaker 4: expecting it. I didn't see it because I was so
Speaker 4: spun out of my mind all the time with racing
Speaker 4: thoughts from all this distosterone and all these pills and
Speaker 4: just so much shit, you know, I was going through,
Speaker 4: and it just broke me.
Speaker 3: So I was at a point where I didn't know
Speaker 3: what was going on. I was.
Speaker 4: I was living on my boat actually at the time,
Speaker 4: because I had to leave my house and I wasn't
Speaker 4: doing well and I was at the point where I
Speaker 4: needed help. I didn't trust myself, so I checked myself
Speaker 4: into that halfway house. And it was an experience, you know.
Speaker 4: I was, you know, fairly you know, successful famous TV shows,
Speaker 4: and I'm living with crackheads and heroin addicts and I
Speaker 4: have to do laundry and I'm getting you know, alcohol
Speaker 4: tests did there's curfew and it was definitely an experience.
Speaker 2: How long were you there?
Speaker 3: I was in that I believe I was there for
Speaker 3: about sixty days. I was there for about sixty days.
Speaker 2: And who suggested that.
Speaker 3: It was actually doctor Drew?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was on the back of my boat with a
Speaker 4: couple of my buddies one day mid conversation. You know,
Speaker 4: I just fell over, passed out, hit the deck when
Speaker 4: I came to, you know.
Speaker 1: Literally hit the deck of the boat. Yeah, that's an expression,
Speaker 1: but yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, next time I know, my friend puts the phone
Speaker 4: on my ear and it's doctor Drew.
Speaker 3: And I knew I knew of him, but I didn't
Speaker 3: know him.
Speaker 4: And next thing I know, I'm talking to doctor Drew.
Speaker 4: And next thing I know, I'm checking into a facility.
Speaker 1: Wow, So the Halfway House is a facility. And was
Speaker 1: your ex wife supportive? Was she to like traumatize on
Speaker 1: her own, on her own journey, Like she was.
Speaker 4: Way to traumatize on her own and she was on
Speaker 4: her own journey And that was the most difficult part,
Speaker 4: you know, it was just it was just too far gone,
Speaker 4: and no matter what I did, it was just too late.
Speaker 4: So it you know, I yeah, it was very very
Speaker 4: tough experience, but you know what, I wouldn't change it.
Speaker 3: You know, it.
Speaker 4: Changed my life. Took away all these fears and all
Speaker 4: these anxieties and all these stresses, and every single thing
Speaker 4: I was always worried about and stress about literally disappeared
Speaker 4: the day she walked out, and I realized none of
Speaker 4: it mattered.
Speaker 1: Nothing mattered, you know, you mean, because you lost it
Speaker 1: all and you were still alive, like you didn't have
Speaker 1: to worry about like the thought of everything, there just
Speaker 1: was nothing, so like you were at that was that
Speaker 1: was the real bottom?
Speaker 2: Is that what you mean?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: Meaning everything that would cause stress or pain in my life.
Speaker 4: You know, when she left me, I realized that wasn't stress,
Speaker 4: that wasn't pain. Her leaving me was the real pain.
Speaker 4: And now you know, I've been through so much pain.
Speaker 4: When something bad happens, I reflect right, and it's nowhere
Speaker 4: near as painful as the shit I've experienced. So I'm
Speaker 4: just so much stronger today.
Speaker 1: I so relate to that because I had a very
Speaker 1: gnarly ten year divorce, But it was so bad, and
Speaker 1: I grew up in a very abusive, like dysfunctional, drug
Speaker 1: alcoholic you new disorder everything childhood. This was so bad
Speaker 1: that like I couldn't imagine surviving and I couldn't imagine
Speaker 1: my life being anything but like how bad it was,
Speaker 1: it just could you couldn't. It was that golf thing
Speaker 1: I told you, Abaud, But like when it was free.
Speaker 2: It was such freedom.
Speaker 1: When it was over, it was like, I mean that
Speaker 1: I understand what you're talking about. Like you're just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I survived this thing. I don't want
Speaker 1: to survive anything else, but I kind of could, Like
Speaker 1: you survive that thing exactly right.
Speaker 4: It's all that reflection, so like I look, you know,
Speaker 4: I got to my cancers in twenty thirteen.
Speaker 3: They removed my thyroid.
Speaker 4: All my emotions were all over the place because your
Speaker 4: thyroid regulates everything. And then they removed my thyroid, and
Speaker 4: then they I started taking synthetic medication, but later on
Speaker 4: I turned out I was totally under medicated, so I
Speaker 4: had a depression, brain fog, fatigue, I wasn't myself. And
Speaker 4: then I went through the two surgeries of thyroid cancer
Speaker 4: and testicular cancer, and I wasn't feeling good. And then
Speaker 4: a couple months later I started feeling better. I went
Speaker 4: out to golf one day this is in the book,
Speaker 4: took a swing, went to pick up my ball. Next
Speaker 4: thing I know, my back went out. I was having
Speaker 4: the round of my life, the round of my life.
Speaker 4: I've never played golf like I did that day, so
Speaker 4: I said, I'm gonna keep going, went to the next hole,
Speaker 4: took a swing, hit the ground, screaming.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: And for the next year and a half of my life,
Speaker 3: it was.
Speaker 4: It was worse than cancer, to be honest, because I
Speaker 4: was taking you know, ten to twelve delauded or vike
Speaker 4: it in a purpose at every single day. If you
Speaker 4: watch early seasons of my shows, you'll see me go
Speaker 4: from two hundred and forty pounds from cancer to one
Speaker 4: hundred and sixty five pounds from the pain pills and
Speaker 4: the opiates.
Speaker 2: Didn't you get sick getting off of it?
Speaker 3: You know? Yeah? You know?
Speaker 4: I actually I quit cold Turkey the day that my
Speaker 4: back got better. And I didn't know I did okay
Speaker 4: when I got off of it. But when I was
Speaker 4: on it, like I was, I wasn't. I was not
Speaker 4: a good human. Oh my gosh, Like that stuff is toxic.
Speaker 4: But the pain I was experiencing from my back was
Speaker 4: like nothing I ever experienced in my life. And then
Speaker 4: I had the surgery. I came home the night of
Speaker 4: the surgery, and then there was complications. My urinary check
Speaker 4: was blocked. I thought my bladder was gonna explode. Had
Speaker 4: to call the ambulance to go back to the hospital.
Speaker 4: So my family, you know, we just went through so
Speaker 4: much with two cancers and back surgeries.
Speaker 1: And when you say my family, you mean your ex
Speaker 1: and your kids. Are your parents? Like who's your family?
Speaker 3: Everybody? Everybody? Everybody you have a you have.
Speaker 2: A decent spital, that you have a decent support system.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, my my parents are fantastic. They've always been big
Speaker 4: supporters of me. My family, family is number one for me.
Speaker 4: But during the during those years, like I look back
Speaker 4: and I was, I was so gone because I I
Speaker 4: had so many different chemicals in my body and and
Speaker 4: then I didn't have my hormones, I didn't have my thyroid,
Speaker 4: I was on testosterone, I was taking opiates, I was
Speaker 4: toughering with anxiety, and it just like I was.
Speaker 3: I was dying inside.
Speaker 1: I mean I was when was this?
Speaker 2: When was the pinnacle of this?
Speaker 3: What Yearah, twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2: Okay, so not that long ago?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was.
Speaker 4: Yes, almost seven years ago now, no, almost eight years
Speaker 4: ago now, Wow, and.
Speaker 2: What is right?
Speaker 1: You were like in a cloud and a fog, but
Speaker 1: functioning in business because probably in the first thing in
Speaker 1: the morning you can get shit done by the end
Speaker 1: of the day.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I and honestly, I've just come home at night,
Speaker 4: go up to my office, stare at the wall, and
Speaker 4: turmoil and pain for no reason whatsoever. Oh my major,
Speaker 4: Like you know, mental health, depression, all these things are real,
Speaker 4: you know. And I've I've experienced, you know, a lot
Speaker 4: of different things. You know.
Speaker 3: I was actually on bipolar medicine for nine years.
Speaker 2: You have had a lot of crap in your body.
Speaker 1: Is there anything in your body now or you're like
Speaker 1: completely clean of stuff.
Speaker 4: I do take ADHD ADHD medicine and that's all I take.
Speaker 4: And I started taking that two years ago, and man,
Speaker 4: what a vast improvement. So I started taking ADHD medication
Speaker 4: for the first time when I was seventeen. So I
Speaker 4: got into some trouble when I was seventeen. I ended
Speaker 4: up going to juvenile hall for a little bit. And
Speaker 4: when I got back, when I got out, they sent
Speaker 4: me to the doctor. Turns out at ADHD and they
Speaker 4: started me on this medicine and like overnight, my GPA
Speaker 4: went from a two point zero to three point eight. Wow,
Speaker 4: like overnight, I was calmer. I was eight, But then
Speaker 4: like I don't even know, it was so strong. I
Speaker 4: was a walking zombie. Like I completely changed my personality.
Speaker 4: And then what happened was when I turned eighteen, they
Speaker 4: said if I wanted to keep taking my medicine, I
Speaker 4: had to go see the doctor because I was an adult. Now,
Speaker 4: of course I said no, right, So now, looking back,
Speaker 4: that's why.
Speaker 3: I went into that free fall. That's why I gained
Speaker 3: sixty pounds.
Speaker 2: That's dangerous.
Speaker 1: That's like going off your bipolar medicine or something like,
Speaker 1: you went off your meda and you aren't thinking straight,
Speaker 1: so you made your own decisions based on bad judgment.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, so that's what I did.
Speaker 4: And then I went on that downhill spiral until Justin
Speaker 4: came into my life and forced me to go to
Speaker 4: the gym. And then two years ago, you know, just
Speaker 4: very overwhelmed, and I decided to give it a shot again.
Speaker 4: And man, it's been such a game changer for.
Speaker 2: Me, the ADHD medicine. Wow.
Speaker 1: So yeah, there's a mental health situation here. And so
Speaker 1: your ex wife, are you friends you co parent. Do
Speaker 1: you have a decent relationship now, Christine.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're actually doing the best we ever have, which
Speaker 4: is which is fantastic.
Speaker 3: You know, her and I we communicate regularly. We get along.
Speaker 4: We're extremely friendly. You know, Christine and my wife head
Speaker 4: their communicate all the time. They get along great, and
Speaker 4: it's and it's been really really good for the last
Speaker 4: i'd say, about two two and a half years.
Speaker 1: So you have a good blending, blended situation. And your
Speaker 1: ex is remarried too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, she's she's remarried. Yeah, she's remarried.
Speaker 1: Okay, because I feel like the whole thing has been
Speaker 1: public and I've seen it in the periphery, but I
Speaker 1: don't know about it.
Speaker 2: Who did she marry? Didn't she marry someone?
Speaker 5: Go on?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so, I mean she got remarried twice. So she
Speaker 4: got married to a gentleman named Aunt Ann said, who
Speaker 4: I'm friends with him now too, and actually had a
Speaker 4: baby with him.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: You know, we talk about difficult.
Speaker 4: You know, she got with aunt shortly, you know, after
Speaker 4: we separated and I was still filming with her, and
Speaker 4: it was a difficult experience watching someone you love girl
Speaker 4: baby right, Wow, So talking about pain.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4: It was tough because I still loved her, right and
Speaker 4: I had to show up every day and watch her
Speaker 4: belly grow and think.
Speaker 2: Man like holy she's yeah okay.
Speaker 4: But you know, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Speaker 4: So unfortunately that marriage didn't work out. And then she
Speaker 4: got remarried to a gentleman named Josh Hall and and
Speaker 4: today they're married and they're they're filming some together.
Speaker 1: Well, so you got a lot of entertainment in this crew,
Speaker 1: and so you get along with him and her. It's
Speaker 1: all decent, like pretty good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're all totally good.
Speaker 4: You know. Like like I said, if you're always dwelling
Speaker 4: on the past and negative experiences and you have hate, rage.
Speaker 3: And it, you're never gonna you're never gonna have a
Speaker 3: happy life.
Speaker 1: Right. But you're you're doing all this in the entertainment industry,
Speaker 1: which makes it like n in LA, which makes it
Speaker 1: like double triple challenging. Like I'm friends with Kyle and
Speaker 1: Maurice and I watch them on TV and in Beverly Hills.
Speaker 1: With the pressure and the money and the businesses, it's
Speaker 1: a swirling layered thing.
Speaker 4: It's a lot, it's a lot. You know, but you
Speaker 4: know I have no you know, like I said, it's acceptance.
Speaker 4: You know, all the anger and rage blah blah, But
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, guess what, did I
Speaker 4: have a part in it?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Do I need to take some responsibility? Yes? So is
Speaker 3: it her fault? No, it's our fault.
Speaker 1: Well, she must respect the fact that you say that publicly.
Speaker 1: That's really because everyone wants to blame everybody else in that.
Speaker 3: I don't know yet.
Speaker 4: I don't know if she's ever heard me say that
Speaker 4: public here. Oh okay, well you know I just started
Speaker 4: talking recently. Yeah, you're ready. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice.
Speaker 4: It's nice. It's amazing what time can do to your
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 3: It is. And that's what I tell people. Man.
Speaker 4: Every people waste their entire lives worried and stress and
Speaker 4: think about it. The shit we were stressed about when
Speaker 4: we were eighteen years old, did any of it matter?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: The shit we were stressed about when we were twenty
Speaker 4: seven did it matter?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: The shit were stressed about today? Is it going to
Speaker 3: matter in ten years? No?
Speaker 1: No? Well, this woman, this woman on TikTok, I have
Speaker 1: to get her name back because it's not fair that
Speaker 1: I like, I'm living by this, and I don't remember
Speaker 1: her name because I recognize that you gave credit to
Speaker 1: the person which we'll talk about, who saw that you
Speaker 1: had a bulging something bulging in your neck and is
Speaker 1: responsible for you finding out you had cancer, and then
Speaker 1: you give doctor Drew credit. But I saw this woman
Speaker 1: on TikTok and she was saying the amount of time
Speaker 1: and bandwidth we spend trying to control what other people
Speaker 1: are doing, saying, like, you know, you can only control yourself,
Speaker 1: and it was very liberating for me. And sometimes you
Speaker 1: see something at the time you need to hear it.
Speaker 1: But I thought that is very powerful.
Speaker 4: One hundred percent. You want to know what changed my life,
Speaker 4: and it's a very simple thing.
Speaker 3: One word. So I think it was twenty seventeen.
Speaker 4: I was looking at Newport Beach, driving up and down
Speaker 4: Newport Boulevard, literally just up and down, up and down, up, down, screaming, crying, cursing,
Speaker 4: hitting my like so sad and screaming about how life's
Speaker 4: not fair.
Speaker 3: It's not fair, this happened. It's not fair.
Speaker 4: I got cancer. It's not fair. I hurt my back.
Speaker 4: It's not fair. She left me, and then it hit me,
Speaker 4: Life's not fair. And like in that moment, like this
Speaker 4: calm came over me except and started and I said,
Speaker 4: life's not fair.
Speaker 3: Like that, shit happens to good people every day.
Speaker 4: There are things happening exponentially worse than what I'm going through,
Speaker 4: to people that don't deserve it.
Speaker 3: Life's not fair. So because life's fair, not fair, what
Speaker 3: do you do?
Speaker 4: You do the best you can with what you got right,
Speaker 4: and the second you acknowledge that you're free, you're free
Speaker 4: to go out there and build that new life and
Speaker 4: chase those dreams and rebuild yourself.
Speaker 1: Well, it's the same thing you're saying about the sleep.
Speaker 1: It's allowing for it to be. Okay, you might not
Speaker 1: sleep tonight. Okay, you know it's going to die. Like
Speaker 1: that happened, this person broke your heart, you were an addict,
Speaker 1: you fucked up, it happened, you lost my Like that's
Speaker 1: what you're effectively saying. You're saying like it's liberating to
Speaker 1: allow for things to be fucked up. It's very liberating
Speaker 1: to allow for yourself to get your heart broken or
Speaker 1: not sleep. It's like it's allowing for that versus like
Speaker 1: trying to hold on to it and have it be
Speaker 1: so perfect.
Speaker 3: Exactly. It's acceptance.
Speaker 4: Like like literally, it is impossible to be a highly
Speaker 4: successful individual without being in a lawsuit at one point
Speaker 4: in your life.
Speaker 2: Right, So what does.
Speaker 4: That mean for anyone who wants to be an entrepreneur?
Speaker 4: You better expect that one day you're going to be
Speaker 4: in a lawsuit. So when it comes, don't cry to bone,
Speaker 4: say okay, it's here.
Speaker 2: Costs a business, Yes, totally.
Speaker 3: Happens to everybody.
Speaker 1: Yesterday I let a designer go that I paid most
Speaker 1: of their fee for a house that I'm doing, and
Speaker 1: I'm going to give somebody else half what they got
Speaker 1: and they're going to do double the work because I
Speaker 1: got to finish this thing. And I'm mad that I
Speaker 1: paid that person all this money and they shit the bed.
Speaker 2: But we are where we are. It's a cost of
Speaker 2: doing business.
Speaker 1: I can't like want to just stay with that person
Speaker 1: and fuck up the whole project because I already paid
Speaker 1: them chasing it Like that's what you see, you know
Speaker 1: what it's like, we did it exactly.
Speaker 4: I'll give you an example. Early on in my career,
Speaker 4: a contractor would burn me or a sub would burn me.
Speaker 4: I would spend months fighting over fifteen hundred dollars, hundreds
Speaker 4: of hours and energy and letters and anger and hate
Speaker 4: and rage.
Speaker 1: Today it happened fifteen I said, bye, it happened exactly.
Speaker 2: The money, Yeah, you'll waste more money, keep staying on
Speaker 2: the road. Totally.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we we have a lot of things in common,
Speaker 1: like with this philosophy. So Heather, Heather is your wife,
Speaker 1: she's all on TV with you, and like this is
Speaker 1: another entertainment relationship.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's funny because it's totally it was totally random.
Speaker 4: I randomly met Heather. I didn't know about her show.
Speaker 4: It wasn't a setup. Was she was living and I
Speaker 4: think Sweden dating a hockey player at the time, well
Speaker 4: not at the time, but right before I met her.
Speaker 4: So it's fourth of July twenty nineteen. We're at Woody's
Speaker 4: Bar in Newport Beach and it's like party and the
Speaker 4: fires going and people are dancing and it only fits
Speaker 4: like five boats.
Speaker 3: Luckily I got a spot.
Speaker 4: I'm mid conversation and out of the corner of my
Speaker 4: mind just seeing this beautiful blonde girl with these braids,
Speaker 4: and like mid conversation, I stopped talking. I'd be lying
Speaker 4: a right to her, and of course I'm feeling confident
Speaker 4: because it's my yacht. Yeah, I put my hand out.
Speaker 3: I go, hi, I'm arch. She goes, oh, I know
Speaker 3: who you are.
Speaker 4: And I'm thinking, all right, yeah, all right, this is good, good, good,
Speaker 4: Thank God for TV. And then she goes, you asked
Speaker 4: me out two years ago, don't you remember?
Speaker 3: So shit?
Speaker 4: I said, where I ask you out? She goes Instagram.
Speaker 4: So I said one second. So I put my back
Speaker 4: to her, pulled up Instagram.
Speaker 3: Look.
Speaker 4: She responded she had a boyfriend. So I swung back
Speaker 4: around and said still about that boyfriend? She said no.
Speaker 4: So I was really excited. A couple of cocktails in,
Speaker 4: so I said, hey, you want to go to Paris?
Speaker 3: She said no. I said you want to okay? I said, okay,
Speaker 3: you want to go to Las Vegas? Want to do
Speaker 3: something funch? She goes, I'm not going anywhere overnight with you.
Speaker 3: I said, okay, you want to do dinner? She goes maybe.
Speaker 4: So then we start talking and we started getting into
Speaker 4: like a good conversation and then this, you know, like wasisted.
Speaker 4: Twenty one year old girl comes over and she was
Speaker 4: being obnoxious, So Heather got bothered and she left and
Speaker 4: she went back to the boat next to me. So
Speaker 4: now I'm sitting there sulking because I hadn't seen one
Speaker 4: girl in like four years.
Speaker 3: That I was like wow.
Speaker 4: And then I look on the boat next to me
Speaker 4: and I see her and this other guy, this like
Speaker 4: good looking guy with nice pretty hair and shade.
Speaker 3: They're laughing.
Speaker 4: She's throwing her hair back, and I'm watching, and I'm
Speaker 4: watching my future wife be stolen, right, And.
Speaker 3: I said, oh, hell no, I'm not going down like that.
Speaker 4: So I go to the wheelhouse, I find the horn
Speaker 4: and I late on that sucker. The whole bar jumped,
Speaker 4: like the whole like everybody jumped and they and I
Speaker 4: stuck my head out the sunroof and I yelled at
Speaker 4: the guy to get off my girl. Luckily, luckily Heather
Speaker 4: thought it was funny because they started laughing. So then
Speaker 4: I walked out to them. The guy tells me big
Speaker 4: fan walks away. I was like, thank.
Speaker 2: God, oh my god.
Speaker 3: And then I got her number.
Speaker 1: There you've got a number like in a goodwill hunting
Speaker 1: and that was it. We were together. In the end
Speaker 1: is the rest is history.
Speaker 3: She canceled our first date.
Speaker 4: It was two weeks after, she said I'm not ready
Speaker 4: blah blah blah, and I just sent her one text message.
Speaker 3: I said, I'm different than you. Think you should give
Speaker 3: it a shot.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: So a week later she said she'll give it a shot.
Speaker 4: I said, let's do dinner. She said, no, I'll go
Speaker 4: for a drink. I don't think she wanted to spend
Speaker 4: that much time with me. So I show up. It's
Speaker 4: the middle of summer, there's a heat wave, but I
Speaker 4: know I look good in this one blue sweater I
Speaker 4: wear every Christmas. So, not thinking about the heat wave,
Speaker 4: I go to dinner in this blue sweater and the
Speaker 4: whole dinner, I'm just sweating. My heart's pounding, I'm having anxiety.
Speaker 4: I'm acting like a weirdo. And finally, because you know
Speaker 4: I'm an anxious guy to find, she goes, are you okay?
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I am not okay. She goes, let's
Speaker 4: just get drunk. I said, I like that. So we
Speaker 4: ended up having a couple of drinks, hung out till
Speaker 4: like three in the morning, talked the entire way home
Speaker 4: on FaceTime.
Speaker 3: Four days later, we moved in together and this is it.
Speaker 1: You've been together. And then you got married and here
Speaker 1: we are and it's a great relationship.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And our son turns a year old in a couple
Speaker 3: of days.
Speaker 2: So you have a baby. And how old are your
Speaker 2: other kids?
Speaker 3: Taylor is thirteen years old. I can't believe it.
Speaker 2: I have a thirteen year old.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, so much fun. I am so obsessed
Speaker 4: with my daughter. And you know, we're talking about divorce
Speaker 4: right and talking about pain. I never would be the
Speaker 4: father I am today if I didn't go through what
Speaker 4: I went through.
Speaker 3: I was not connected with my daughter when she was younger.
Speaker 4: I was working all the time, and I felt so
Speaker 4: shitty about myself. And what I learned is all I
Speaker 4: had do was invest the time.
Speaker 1: It's completely an ROI. What everything you put in you
Speaker 1: get out. Like, my daughter had a bad day yesterday.
Speaker 1: She's thirteen, and I was texting her, like, you know,
Speaker 1: because sometimes you want to problem solve with these kids
Speaker 1: instead of just being there for them, so they because
Speaker 1: they feel safe if you problem solved, they feel alienated.
Speaker 1: And so she came home and I just gave her
Speaker 1: like the most gigantic hug and was like, I'm here
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 2: How can I help?
Speaker 1: Like, how can I help for a thirteen year old
Speaker 1: because they want to yell at you and be frustrated. No, Mom,
Speaker 1: it's not. I'm like, how can I help you? Whatever
Speaker 1: I can do? It really works.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I love it. It's investing the time.
Speaker 4: And like today, me and my daughter, like since she
Speaker 4: was five years old, you know, we've been like best friends,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 3: I mean we're so close.
Speaker 4: And me and my son were so close and it's
Speaker 4: the most feeling in the world.
Speaker 3: He's eight years old.
Speaker 1: So you have a thirteen and eight and a one.
Speaker 1: You have a beautiful family and the blending is going
Speaker 1: well and they accept your story, your past, and like
Speaker 1: you're in a good spot right now, perfect time to
Speaker 1: launch a book.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everything is just going so well right now. Personally, Like,
Speaker 4: you know, I got what I've always wanted. It was
Speaker 4: my family back, you know, like I feel like I
Speaker 4: have a family again, which I do have a family.
Speaker 4: We're a family of five, we had a dog. It
Speaker 4: feels good. You know.
Speaker 3: I didn't like being on my own.
Speaker 4: I was just lost. I was I mean, it was
Speaker 4: just it wasn't fun, you know. And and just to
Speaker 4: have Heather in my life and in my kids' lives
Speaker 4: and to have this family I have, I'm just very blessed.
Speaker 1: So you have a family, you are sleeping, and you
Speaker 1: are successful, and you're at peace.
Speaker 2: So it's a good, good, good story.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: Well, it was so nice to meet you, so honored
Speaker 1: to like hear your story and talk to you, and
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it, and I wish you the best
Speaker 1: of luck on the book and in life.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, it was a great, great chatting with you.
Speaker 4: I've been a big fan of you for many years
Speaker 4: and it's been exciting to watch what you've done.
Speaker 2: I appreciate. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Great great story and amazing like happy not ending, but
Speaker 1: happy moment in time.
Speaker 3: Oh, just getting started. Wait till the second book.
Speaker 1: Exactly, The next one will be called Life Isn't Fair. Awesome,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: After the flip, all right, we'll see you, yeah.
Speaker 2: Exactly awesome. Thanks.
Speaker 1: Taric was very very interesting, very open, very raw, very vulnerable.
Speaker 1: What a ride, young guy for such a story cancer, addiction, breakup, loss,
Speaker 1: halfway house.
Speaker 2: ADHD money.
Speaker 1: I mean, wow, this guy has a story of ten
Speaker 1: people's lives.