1 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: Taric El Musa is an American real estate investor and 2 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: TV personality. He's best known for co hosting HGTV's Flip 3 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: or Flop alongside his ex wife, Christina Hall. Tark is 4 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 1: here to talk about his journey in real estate and 5 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:31,320 Speaker 1: his life. His new book is called Flip Your Life. 6 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: Great great read. Definitely, this is one you're going to 7 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: want to listen to. This will just be with tarik 8 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: El Musa. Let's get into it. 9 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 2: How are you. 10 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,639 Speaker 3: I'm doing fantastic. How are you? 11 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:48,239 Speaker 2: I'm okay. 12 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:53,520 Speaker 1: I have been reading about you, and I guess it's 13 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: obviously I've heard about you and heard your name, But 14 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: as happens with many people, I then start eating about 15 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: them and I'm like, holy shit, this guy's had a life. 16 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 3: It's been interesting. 17 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. 18 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 1: So you seem to be pretty transparent and out there 19 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:16,479 Speaker 1: about everything you've experienced, maybe even more so now than ever. 20 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: But that's something that really jumped off the page for me. 21 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 2: Yeah. 22 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 4: You know, you know, looking back in the last twenty 23 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 4: years of my life, I'll look at that. You know, 24 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 4: there there have been a lot of struggles, a lot 25 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,840 Speaker 4: of ups, a lot of downs, and you know, I'm 26 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 4: still here still working, still motivated, still thriving. And that's 27 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 4: really what my new book's about. It's about flipping your life, 28 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 4: and I really talk about it doesn't matter how bad 29 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:39,479 Speaker 4: your life is. You know, we all go through shit, 30 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 4: we all go through some really really hard times, and 31 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 4: it's what you do during during those times is what 32 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 4: determines your future. You know, most people, something bad happens 33 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 4: in their life, you know, and sometimes no waste years 34 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 4: are even decades dwelling on negative past experiences. And I'm 35 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 4: a big believer in just acceptance, accepting your situation, accepting 36 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 4: that you know, life's not fair, and because life's not fair, 37 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 4: you've got to do the best you can with what 38 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 4: you got, and you got to keep. 39 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: Going, yeah, and reinventing yourself. And I guess you're I'm 40 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 1: very much like that, where whatever's happening, as brutal as 41 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: it is, even when it's happening, I realized that, like 42 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,359 Speaker 1: there's meaning to it and that there will be. I 43 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 1: think it is golf like golf holes. You're at what 44 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: hole are you at? You at the fourth hole? Sometimes 45 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 1: you stay there forever, someon as you go backwards, but 46 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,959 Speaker 1: hopefully to get through the game. So you always knew 47 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 1: you wanted to be in real estate. That was something 48 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: that you thought of young. 49 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,799 Speaker 3: No, I didn't actually know. I always wanted to be 50 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 3: in real estate. 51 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 4: When I was an eighteen nineteen year old kid, I 52 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 4: was dating a girl in her family where real estate investors, 53 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,519 Speaker 4: and her dad would tell me war stories from the 54 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 4: nineteen sixties, how he would play poker and lose houses 55 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 4: on hands and these wild stories. Unfortunately, he liked gambling, 56 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 4: especially on horses, and he didn't have much at the 57 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 4: time that I met him. At the time, I was 58 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,639 Speaker 4: actually selling kitchen knives. Lost my lead book one day, 59 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 4: so put myself out of business. Standing at an ATM 60 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 4: and a parking lot, asking myself what's next. I looked 61 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 4: over and there was a crooked sign flapping in the 62 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 4: wind and said, wise old out real estate school. So 63 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 4: I thought to myself, you know, if I can sell knives, 64 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 4: I could probably sell houses. 65 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 3: And that's how I got started. 66 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: Oh wow, and do you love real estate? Like do 67 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: you love the game of it? And it is I mean, 68 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: you're talking about a horse gamber. I grew up at 69 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: the racetrack, being a I would say, it's a side hustle. 70 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: Like it's a passion of mine. I love to invest 71 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: in real estate, and I do. I have flipped houses 72 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: sort of intentionally. I want to talk to you about 73 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: the psychology of that and the decisions in that. But 74 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: do you it is like it is like a gamble 75 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: sometimes I mean calculated, but there you know, you can't 76 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: predict the top or the bottom, and sometimes you get screwed. 77 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know. 78 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 4: I mean it depends on what you qualify as screwed. Right, So, 79 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 4: if you're investing over twenty years and two of those 80 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 4: twenty years didn't go. 81 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 3: So well, did you get screwed or did you do 82 00:03:58,760 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 3: really well? Well? 83 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 4: I say you did really really well. I say the 84 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 4: analogy all the time. If I gave you a million 85 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 4: dollars twenty times and you went to Vegas and you 86 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 4: only want eighteen times, would you still. 87 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 2: Go Yeah, it's so true. That's very true. 88 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: It's true because I sometimes think about the one apartment 89 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,479 Speaker 1: that I lost on which bothers me. But you're right, 90 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: I've sold probably six seven places and done well. 91 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,039 Speaker 2: So that's true. 92 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 3: Exactly. 93 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,720 Speaker 4: It's the averages, and it's the fear that prevents people 94 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 4: from getting in the game, and that fear prevents them 95 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,840 Speaker 4: from building wealth, and we all know we need to 96 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 4: be buying real estate. And the funny thing is, you know, 97 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 4: most people, when they get older, their entire net worth 98 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 4: comes from their primary residence. So imagine if everyone that 99 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 4: owned a home just bought one or two more, what 100 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 4: would those golden years look like? 101 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 1: Well, that's a good question, you flip. So do you 102 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: believe in really keeping real estate? Do you believe in 103 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: a combination? Meaning some people invest in real estate so 104 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,599 Speaker 1: it's an income producing asset that's going to throw off 105 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,279 Speaker 1: money every month. Some people want to like get in 106 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: and get out. I like the get in and get out, 107 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: you know, holding a couple of things. But I'm not 108 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: a person that psychologically wants to hold so many places. 109 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: And I want to know, but many people I know 110 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: do think you should hold the assets for what do 111 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:09,799 Speaker 1: you think? 112 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 3: Well, one hundred million percent hold the assets. 113 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 4: The reason I got into flipping houses was so I 114 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 4: can make money so I can buy real estate. 115 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 3: Okay, so today I own a. 116 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 4: Little over two hundred rental properties, you know, over well 117 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 4: over a thousand apartments. We're developing self storage, we're developing 118 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 4: multi family. But here's the most important thing I've learned 119 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,840 Speaker 4: over the years. You buy it, you said it, and 120 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 4: you forget it. I mean, I looked at all these 121 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,479 Speaker 4: deals I flipped years ago. I literally could have stopped 122 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 4: flipping houses eight years ago and just held the ones 123 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 4: I had, and probably would have made more money than 124 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 4: flipping almost a thousand houses. 125 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: If you're renting them out or if you're just holding 126 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: them because of the direction the market's gone, because you're 127 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,479 Speaker 1: not renting them out. And renting them out means you 128 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: have to be a landlord. So like, I had a 129 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: four thousand square apartment in New York City that I 130 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 1: was never going to rent out that I was paying 131 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: you know, a lot a year on, so I had to. 132 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to let it go because I felt like 133 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: it's just sucking up income. What do you think about that? 134 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 3: Oh, one hundred percent. 135 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 4: I would never have an asset sitting there not receiving 136 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 4: cash flow. 137 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah. 138 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 4: And I think a lot of people get confused about 139 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,160 Speaker 4: what investing is, Like, I don't want the headaches of 140 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 4: holding and this and that. The only time you have 141 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 4: headaches is if you create the headaches, meaning if you 142 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 4: get involved as a real estate investor. You're not a 143 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 4: property manager. You shouldn't be talking to tennis. You shouldn't 144 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 4: be worrying about repairs. You hire people to do that, 145 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 4: and your job is to go out there find more 146 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 4: deals and continue to build wealth. 147 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 2: Great, so we agree. 148 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,159 Speaker 1: Okay, so you're talking about it as an income producing asset, 149 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 1: but you don't believe in holding. 150 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 2: You don't believe in. 151 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: Having three homes of your own that are just sitting 152 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: there hoping that the market will go up and in 153 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,720 Speaker 1: five years will be worth more. That's not what you're 154 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 1: talking about. 155 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 5: You're talking about I mean, yeah, I mean sure, Like 156 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,159 Speaker 5: you know, you're a billionaire with a limited money and 157 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 5: you don't give a shit and yeah sure, But like 158 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 5: you know, for the normal person, having an asset sitting 159 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,600 Speaker 5: there sucking away your cash flow isn't a good thing 160 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 5: to have. 161 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 3: So that is something I would not do. 162 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,679 Speaker 1: And where are you on? Are you always about owning 163 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: versus renting? Because some people think in situations based on 164 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: your money being in the market versus being in a property, 165 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: they would rather rent, not have the property sucking up 166 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: their money. 167 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. 168 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 4: See, that's that's one of those things that we've been 169 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 4: seeing a lot over the last couple of years, don't 170 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 4: buy a house and this and that. So here's the truth, right, So, like, 171 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 4: does it make more sense to probably buy some rental 172 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 4: properties first before buying a primary residence. It probably does. 173 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 4: But let's think about this. We're humans, right, we have families, 174 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 4: we're here once. There's more to life than just money. 175 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 4: And I think owning a home and having pride of 176 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 4: ownership is very very important, especially for you know your 177 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 4: self worth, your confidence, and you want to be excited 178 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 4: about the place that you live. You want to come 179 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 4: home and feel good. So sometimes by owning a house, 180 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 4: you know, you actually end up becoming more successful because 181 00:07:58,640 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 4: the way it makes you feel. 182 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 2: By the way, I could not agree. I think it's pride. 183 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: And even if it's like I'm a person that likes 184 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: small and perfect like whatever it is, you know, designed 185 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: with an inach of its life, if it's going to 186 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: make you feel good, I'm that person too. I'd much 187 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: rather spend money on the home than on something else, 188 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: like then a bag or something else. That's that's very smart. 189 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: And so now it's all your own money, do you 190 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: have investors? Like, how does that all work? And how 191 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: did it work? In the beginning and you know, have 192 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 1: you gotten caught holding the bag? Like, what's that ride been? Like? 193 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,079 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I got started flipping houses. I 194 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 4: came up with the idea in twenty ten, and I 195 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 4: actually pitched the idea of getting a TV show about 196 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 4: flipping houses before I've ever flipped a house, So that 197 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 4: was a wild experience. 198 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:42,679 Speaker 3: Yeah. 199 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 4: So bought my first flip in twenty ten, bought it 200 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 4: out the auction for one hundred and fifteen thousand. That 201 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 4: same week that I bought a flip, I went to 202 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 4: a real estate convention in Las Vegas. There was about 203 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 4: five thousand people there and I met a guy and 204 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 4: at the break he was telling me he had a 205 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 4: local TV show and he got all this business out 206 00:08:58,559 --> 00:08:59,719 Speaker 4: of it. So I was like, man, I got to 207 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 4: get on TV. Two days later, I went home and 208 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 4: I just had this crazy idea, Let's get a TV show. 209 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:06,719 Speaker 4: I told my ex wife. She said TV show about what. 210 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 4: I said, Well, we just bought our first house to flip. 211 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 4: Why don't we flip houses on TV? 212 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 2: Nice? 213 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 3: She said? She called me crazy. She went to bed. 214 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 4: I jumped on Google Hollywood production companies. They came up 215 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 4: found button that said, casting, sent some pictures, and next 216 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 4: morning I woke up and they said, send a home video. 217 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 4: And that's where it all started. Yeah yeah, so yeah, 218 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 4: very like. 219 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 2: Let's go. I'm the state. You're very like, all right, 220 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:29,400 Speaker 2: let's do it. 221 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 3: Let's go right now, let's go. 222 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,200 Speaker 4: I believe anything's possible, and if you got to go 223 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,959 Speaker 4: for it every single day or you're never going to 224 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 4: go anywhere. So I'm a believer that, like you know, 225 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 4: manifestation is a real thing if you're willing to work 226 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 4: your ass off, right, So so they responded, send a 227 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 4: home video, so we documented that very first flip. Of 228 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 4: course they loved it. I didn't know anything about construction. 229 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 4: I mean I electric tutd myself. I burned my feet 230 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,079 Speaker 4: with acid. I painted all the baseboards to the floor. 231 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 4: So I just did everything wrong. 232 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 3: But I was there. 233 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 4: I was there twelve fourteen hours a day, got the 234 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 4: deal done start to finish with the buyer closed under 235 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:02,439 Speaker 4: sixty days, thirty four thousand dollars. And for me back then, 236 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 4: it was life changing because it was getting right out 237 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 4: of the Great Recession, and that very first deal, I 238 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 4: found a partner and the deal was we went fifty 239 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 4: to fifty. The deal went well, so moving forward, I 240 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 4: had no money, so he put up all the money. 241 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 4: I did all the work. We split fifty to fifty. 242 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 4: So that's how we launched the business. And then in 243 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 4: two thousand so I shot the pilot. Actually, ten months 244 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 4: after we delivered the home video, we shot a pilot 245 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,199 Speaker 4: for HGTV. 246 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 3: They finally wanted a pilot. 247 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 4: Then I was told, you know, the odds of getting 248 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 4: a show are small, and if you get a show, 249 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 4: it's going to take a long time. So two weeks 250 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 4: later I get a contract for a house flipping show 251 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 4: on HGTV where I got to flip thirteen houses and 252 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 4: ten months. 253 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 2: Oh my god, right, No, it sounds very torturous. 254 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 3: It sounds two problems. 255 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 4: Two problems. One, I have no idea how to flip houses. 256 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,839 Speaker 4: Problem too, even if I did, we're in the world. 257 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 4: Am I gonna get all this money cash flock? 258 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 3: Yeah? 259 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 4: So you know, I called my lawyer. I said, what's 260 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 4: the worst case. He said, they could sue you. I 261 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 4: looked around my apartment. I said, they can have it signed. 262 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,199 Speaker 4: That contract burned the boats. That first year, I worked 263 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 4: all day and then overnight I would drive properties that 264 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 4: were going to the auction in the morning to make 265 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,080 Speaker 4: sure nobody lived there. So from ten PM to four am, 266 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,559 Speaker 4: I drove southern California by myself. 267 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 3: And then every morning at nine am, I was at 268 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 3: the auction. 269 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,440 Speaker 2: Unbelievable, and that guy put up that money. 270 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 4: He put up that money, and I kept bringing better 271 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,679 Speaker 4: and better deals. He kept putting on money, and then 272 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 4: we became full blown business partners. Outside of that, we 273 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 4: started raising capital and you know, started flipping mid twenty ten. 274 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,679 Speaker 4: By two thousand and I think fourteen, we had as 275 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 4: many as seventy to eighty flips going at one time. So, 276 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:39,400 Speaker 4: you know, I've always changed my life very fast, safe, 277 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 4: and I'm a big believer that you can make money 278 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 4: very fast. Most people think it's this twenty year or 279 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 4: ten year thing. I went for him being a broke 280 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 4: twenty year old kid living in my mom's garage with 281 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 4: cockroaches because I couldn't afford to rent my bedroom because 282 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 4: my parents got divorced, to living at a million dollar 283 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 4: house in ninety days. 284 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, you seem fairly fearless, and you're just like, let's 285 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: go and now what's the state of your business. Not 286 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: the entertainment aspect, but like, it's your money. You still 287 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: are partners with this guy. What kind of investments are 288 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: you making? Like what's going on now? 289 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 3: Absolutely? 290 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 4: So today I own nine different brands and I run 291 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,200 Speaker 4: nine different brands, but the original company is called Tart 292 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 4: Buys Houses. That's where we buy fix and flip, and 293 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 4: we also wholesale houses. So we'll probably this year. The 294 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 4: goal is to do in twenty twenty four three hundred 295 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 4: to three hundred and fifty transactions, and I'm looking to 296 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 4: scale that into the thousands over the next couple of years. 297 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 4: Majority of the deals I'm doing right now is wholesaling. 298 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:38,599 Speaker 4: Are you familiar with wholesaling? No, It's my one of 299 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 4: my favorite things about real estate investing, and most people 300 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 4: don't get started because they think it takes money. It 301 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 4: doesn't take money. So I'm gonna explain wholesaling to you, Bethany. 302 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 4: Let's just say that Bob calls me. He has a 303 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 4: fixer upper. He wants to sell me the house. It 304 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 4: needs a lot of work, but when it's fixed up, 305 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 4: it's worth six hundred thousand. I agree to buy the 306 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 4: house from Bob for three hundred thousand. So in the contract, 307 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 4: the buyer tark al musa oor a signe. Because I 308 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,199 Speaker 4: put ora signe. That means I can assign that contract 309 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 4: to someone else. So now I got a contract for 310 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,959 Speaker 4: three hundred. I call you, Bethany. Hey, Bethany, I got 311 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 4: this incredible house for four hundred thousand and needs fifty 312 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 4: thousand in work. 313 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 3: It's worth six hundred. You want it? Yeah, I want it. 314 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 4: So now Bethany buys the house from Bob, but I 315 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,199 Speaker 4: get the difference in contract price, which in this case 316 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 4: is one hundred thousand dollars. The great thing is I 317 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 4: don't have risk. Why I didn't take a mortgage. I 318 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 4: have no skin in the game. There's no loan, there's 319 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 4: no carrying cost. 320 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 2: It's like being a diamond broker. You just have the contacts. 321 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:32,080 Speaker 2: Like same thing. 322 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 1: By the way, selling handbags on the secondary market, no 323 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 1: one knows where to go, who the buyer is. You 324 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 1: just know you're going to these people that are taking 325 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: twenty five percent because you just want to get rid 326 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 1: of your arms bag. But they know where all the 327 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,600 Speaker 1: people are, and that's a service. That is they deserve 328 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,240 Speaker 1: the money because I don't know who the hell Jane 329 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: is who wants the bag. 330 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 3: Exactly and that's the beautiful thing. 331 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,839 Speaker 4: So I have a company called Homeschooled by Tark where 332 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 4: I teach people how to wholesale houses, how to flip houses. 333 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 4: And it's the most beautiful thing when you have someone 334 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 4: come in knows nothing about real estate, that's struggling, that 335 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 4: can't make their rent, and you watch them, over a 336 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 4: year period, completely flip their. 337 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 2: Life because they can hustle and find the people in between. 338 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 2: That is a skill set. Yeah, they don't have to 339 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 2: touch anything. 340 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 3: Let me tell you how easy house slipping is. 341 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 4: Right, most people, they overcomplicate everything and that's why most 342 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 4: people don't get started. Like I have this gift of 343 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 4: simplifying things. So here's how you flip houses. There's two 344 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 4: ways to find them. Way number one you talk to 345 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 4: people that own them. Way number two, you talk to 346 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 4: people that sell them. So if you can talk to 347 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 4: people that own houses and sell houses and ask them 348 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 4: do you have any fixed ruppers I can buy, you 349 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 4: can flip houses. Two funding you can raise private private money, 350 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 4: or you just wholesale it. Once you get the contract. 351 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 4: Phase three, Well, I'm not fixing the house. Can someone 352 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 4: hire a contractor with references and experience to fix up 353 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 4: the house. Yeah, of course, step four you got to 354 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 4: sell a house. Well, I'm not selling a house. Can 355 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 4: someone hire a real estate agent to listen to sell 356 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 4: that house? 357 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 3: Yeah? 358 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 4: So what is house flipping? House flipping is being good 359 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 4: at finding deals. 360 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 1: It's like being a producer of a film, puts together 361 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,760 Speaker 1: all the elements and they sit at the board. Yeah, 362 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: it's like that. There are different ways I have unintentionally 363 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 1: flipped houses, because one I did with Frederick, which did 364 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 1: really which did very well in a market that was changing. 365 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: Because you're increasing value if you're willing to do the work, 366 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: as you know, that's the thing that people don't want 367 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: to do. But for me, I'll look in a space 368 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 1: that I know that's like right near my house, a 369 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: neighborhood and area that I know that I'm passionate about, 370 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: and I always choose something that I would live in 371 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 1: that I would definitely the shit hit the fan, have 372 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,760 Speaker 1: a better property I could sell, and then I'd be 373 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: willing to live there that I'm passionate about, that I'm 374 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: excited about it, that I like is like another like 375 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 1: jewel Box project. And then because I'm so into it 376 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: and I'm passionate about it, I'll either use it or 377 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 1: live there, or sell it, which happened during the pandemic. 378 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,120 Speaker 1: I found a place for myself in Connecticut that ended 379 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: up being a little smaller than what I would need, 380 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: But because it had all my finishing touches and my passion, 381 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 1: I was able to sell it for a lot of money. 382 00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 2: And it happened. I did it. 383 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: Twice, so that was I get a little more personal 384 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 1: about it. Like most people are dispassionate, I have to 385 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 1: get really passionate about it. 386 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, And there's different types of investors, right, there's more 387 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 4: of the passionate investor, and then they're more of the 388 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 4: I want to just build wealth and I don't care 389 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 4: about the emotional side investor right exactly. 390 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 1: But I can't get into it unless i'm into it 391 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: because I need to be able to ride both lines. 392 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: Like know that you know what I'm saying, Like, I 393 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: can't just get into it for like an industrial reason 394 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: just mentally, I don't know why. 395 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, well we might need to work on that. 396 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: Well, it's a side thing because I don't want like 397 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 1: I don't I love it, but only I only love 398 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 1: it if it's something I really like for me. So 399 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 1: I just liked the safety aspect if I'm over buying, 400 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 1: Like I bought a house out of like a passionate reason. 401 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 1: I like the safety aspect of knowing I could dump it, 402 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. That's it's sort of more 403 00:16:44,840 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: of like that. So you've had some trouble. It says 404 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 1: you lived in a halfway house, you were addicted to steroids, you. 405 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 2: Went through a cancer scare. 406 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 1: We'll get into it individually, but in talking to you now, 407 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 1: I'm realizing how you were addicted to steroids. 408 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 4: You know, looking back reflecting on my life, you know, 409 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 4: I'm forty two years old today and looking back like 410 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 4: I see all the mistakes. 411 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 3: Right. 412 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 4: So, throughout my entire life severe ADHD, suffer with anxiety, 413 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 4: always had issues with sleep. My late teen years, I 414 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 4: major sleep issues, which I started drinking so I could 415 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 4: fall asleep, which then in turn turned me into a 416 00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,160 Speaker 4: raging alcoholic, which then in turn caused me to gain 417 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 4: sixty pounds, which then in turn made me hate myself. 418 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,920 Speaker 4: So from eighteen to twenty I was rock bottom, looked 419 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 4: in the mirror, cried every day, hated myself, gained sixty pounds, 420 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 4: clothing wouldn't fit, girls, stopped looking at me, stretch marks 421 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 4: on my body. It was rock bottom, and I thought, 422 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,440 Speaker 4: this is it. You peaked in high school. Your life 423 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 4: is over. And I beat this shit out of myself 424 00:17:56,119 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 4: every single day, and then one day, actually the beginning 425 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 4: of flipping my life for the first time was when 426 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,639 Speaker 4: I was living at my mom's house in that garage 427 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,920 Speaker 4: because she rented out my bedroom and this guy moved 428 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 4: in from Texas. Tattoos had to toe in my old 429 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 4: bedroom and I see him walking through the kitchen one day. 430 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 4: He says, hey, you want to work out tomorrow, And 431 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 4: I'm sixty pounds overweight, like I'm big, and just to 432 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,119 Speaker 4: blow him off like most people moment, yeah sure, and 433 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 4: I'm thinking we're gonna go do a couple of push ups. 434 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,440 Speaker 4: The next day, seven o'clock comes, He's like you ready. 435 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, let's go to the garage. I have dumbells. 436 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 4: He goes, no, We're going to the gym. I went 437 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 4: to the gym that night for two hours. I almost died. 438 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,360 Speaker 4: The next night he made me go. The next night 439 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 4: he made me go. Three weeks later, I started gaining hope. 440 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,360 Speaker 4: Six weeks in my body was changing and I was back. 441 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 3: Wow. 442 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,399 Speaker 1: Okay, so that was the first hit and that was another. 443 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 1: It feels like that was extreme too. Now you're like 444 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,920 Speaker 1: addicted to the gym, you know, like you need something 445 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 1: to be focusing on. The sleep thing is a big 446 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,199 Speaker 1: discussion that probably led to, like you had issues with 447 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,919 Speaker 1: hormones and sleep does. Lack of sleep does lead to 448 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 1: so many problems and weight gain in particular, because you're eating. 449 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 1: People are eating their feelings or they think they're hungry, 450 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,359 Speaker 1: they're just exhausted. It's like feeding themselves. After I'm going 451 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: to tell you, like my I've I've always had struggles 452 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 1: with sleep and it's a discipline and I want to 453 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: tell you after what what I do. And I'm even 454 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty four, I have a new sleep I 455 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,679 Speaker 1: always have some new sleep regiment. 456 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 2: It's working. I go deeper. 457 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 3: I love it. I love that that you just said that. 458 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 3: Like I. 459 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,399 Speaker 4: By the way, I finally mastered my sleep over the 460 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 4: last six months. 461 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 3: I've figured it out. 462 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 4: I'm going to sleep at the same time, I'm waking 463 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 4: up at the same time, and for the first time, 464 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 4: I'm sleeping between between like you know, four and a 465 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,600 Speaker 4: half and six hours a night. So it's been just 466 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 4: beautiful and that's. 467 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 1: Not even a ton. But are you okay? So do 468 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 1: you take anything now to see? 469 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,119 Speaker 4: So the interesting thing is I was taking all these 470 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 4: different sleeping pills, and what would happen is I would 471 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,400 Speaker 4: take them, I'd fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, I'd wake 472 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 4: up in this weird, like delusional state where like I mean, 473 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 4: it's just torture if anyone's been through it. 474 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 3: And this is how I overcame it. 475 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 4: So a lot of the sleep anxiety, as you know 476 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 4: with insomnia, it's like you're in bed at nine o'clock, 477 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 4: nine thirty, ten o'clock, right, and then you're falling asleep 478 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 4: at oh shit, it's eleven, eleven thirty, and then it 479 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:04,200 Speaker 4: starts getting later. 480 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 3: Then you start thinking about the morning, I'm gonna get no. 481 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 2: Sleep, oh my god, counting. 482 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 4: So here's what I did, because I was waking up 483 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 4: at six thirty every day, and one day I said, 484 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 4: you know what, I'm gonna wake up so obnoxiously early. 485 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,239 Speaker 4: I can't be stressed out the night before because I'm 486 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,959 Speaker 4: gonna have so much free time in the morning. So 487 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,959 Speaker 4: I started waking up and it was torture at like 488 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 4: four am. 489 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 3: But here's what happened. 490 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 4: The first two weeks were awful because I'd fall asleep 491 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 4: at eleven twelve one, but no matter what, I'd have 492 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 4: to wake up at four. No matter what, Yeah, I'd 493 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 4: make myself wake up at four. And then what happened 494 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 4: was my body became so exhausted. I eventually started falling asleep. 495 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 4: But I had to wake up at four. 496 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 2: Oh, you like had to do? You do like a 497 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,000 Speaker 2: boot camp for yourself to try. 498 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 3: To, like Joel exactly, reset the body. 499 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,240 Speaker 4: So by waking up at four, I got rid of 500 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,480 Speaker 4: my anxiety of Okay, I gotta wake up at six, 501 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 4: and I got to be at the gym at seven. 502 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,640 Speaker 4: I'm gonna be rush right, So by waking up at four, 503 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 4: I knew I was gonna have a peaceful warning. 504 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,200 Speaker 3: And then what happens is you just get so tired. 505 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,399 Speaker 4: Eventually, it's ten o'clock at night and you've woken up 506 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 4: at four am for the past two weeks. Naturally, I 507 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,400 Speaker 4: started falling asleep, and that's how I fixed my sleeping problem. 508 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 3: And now I have fallen in love with the mornings. 509 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,679 Speaker 4: The most exciting part of my day is like sometimes 510 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,640 Speaker 4: I'll wake up at three and I'm excited to get 511 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 4: up because between three and six thirty am, it's peace. 512 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,200 Speaker 4: I got the fire going, it's black outside. I can create, 513 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 4: I can think. 514 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: Let me tell you what I did because it's different, 515 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,440 Speaker 1: but there are many roads to roam. So yes, I've 516 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: used the apps. I think the apps are great. I 517 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: do not take anything. I used to be a person too, 518 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep. I won't take anything. So the first 519 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: thing for me is to allow yourself that you may 520 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: not fall asleep. Okay, what's going to happen the next day? 521 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna die. You slept four hours? What you're going 522 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:45,880 Speaker 1: to die? 523 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 2: Who care? 524 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 1: Like? Allow that instead of the noise in the mania 525 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,920 Speaker 1: of I have the Today Show tomorrow? Oh my god, 526 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 1: Like that noise had to go. So the noise of 527 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: it was like what that was the worst paralysis. That's 528 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: the first thing. 529 00:21:59,200 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 3: Acceptance. 530 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, like okay, so for years it's different. I'm getting 531 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:03,240 Speaker 1: up at four. 532 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 2: It's the same. Those two things are saying the same thing. 533 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,719 Speaker 4: It's a less no but the same thing as you. 534 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,879 Speaker 4: Because I what used to trust me. I was thinking, oh, 535 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 4: I'm only going to get four hours of sleep, and 536 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 4: then one night I realized, well, I'm gonna be fine. 537 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,200 Speaker 1: Okay, So that's the first thing. It's a boring story. 538 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: Nobody cares you didn't sleep, okay. But then what happened 539 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:24,400 Speaker 1: was I started really watching, listening to the stupid things 540 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: people say watching TV in a different room. Do not 541 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,199 Speaker 1: watch TV in my space. And then I put my 542 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,240 Speaker 1: phone on a curfew, like at nine o'clock. But again, 543 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 1: if I wanted to go on the phone, that's fine, 544 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: but not have it come in my room. Go to 545 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,160 Speaker 1: it like going to the fridge to eat the cake, 546 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,920 Speaker 1: Like you still have to go to the other room. 547 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 1: You may not want to eat the cake, but you 548 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 1: at least have to walk your ass into the kitchen 549 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 1: to get it, which is an effort. So now it's 550 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: like you want to go see the phone, you thought 551 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: of something, You go to the phone like a notebook 552 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: to go to it, and then go back to your space. 553 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,120 Speaker 1: So I gave my phone at nine o'clock curfew that yes, 554 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,160 Speaker 1: you can break some times, like it's not no one's 555 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 1: gonna die, but it's that's a game changer. 556 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,879 Speaker 2: And then I have a sleep like a cabinet. 557 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 1: I have this forever in another closet, it's a warming 558 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 1: cabinet and it warms these like herbal neck pillows. Okay, 559 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 1: I right before I go to sleep, I get it. 560 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: I put it around my neck. The warmth and the 561 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 1: herbs like calms you down. And I breathe in and 562 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 1: out and you can't get to five breaths, like heavy 563 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 1: deep breaths, and you pass out. And I myself too, 564 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,919 Speaker 1: like wind it down at nine o'clock. The phone's curfew 565 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 1: was kind of mine. I'm not fucking around in my 566 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 1: room on anything because there's no TV and no phone, 567 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 1: and I end up sleeping minimum seven seven and a 568 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:35,239 Speaker 1: half hours a night. 569 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:36,680 Speaker 2: It's changed my life. 570 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 3: That's beautiful. 571 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 4: And most people, if they would just understand by creating 572 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,479 Speaker 4: a sleep schedule, the rest of their life would be 573 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:44,400 Speaker 4: so much easier. 574 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 2: Beyond beyond, like it. It's so important. 575 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,360 Speaker 1: And again I went out to a premier two nights 576 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:50,679 Speaker 1: ago and I went to bed at one o'clock and 577 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 1: it did you know, it wasn't as easy to get 578 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:53,440 Speaker 1: to sleep. 579 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 2: But no one died. 580 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 1: I was tired, and you know, and I find that 581 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,119 Speaker 1: when you're on a sleep schedule, you're napping, you can 582 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 1: you can watch TV and your body will fall asleep, 583 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 1: because once you start to allow yourself to sleep, you're 584 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 1: more tired sometimes at other times, like your body is 585 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,760 Speaker 1: more relaxed versus being manic. 586 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,360 Speaker 4: Absolutely, honestly, I couldn't agree more. Like the number one 587 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 4: focus is sleep. Like I even have this whoop thing 588 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 4: on and every night, you know, I'm competing trying to 589 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:19,840 Speaker 4: get more sleep. 590 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 1: Yes, my fiance Paul has the whoop. He loves it 591 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 1: and tells you you're you're in a deficit. 592 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 2: You did this. 593 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 1: I have a sleep tracker that's under the mattress and 594 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 1: it just basically says, like what happened. It's not as 595 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 1: detailed did that people. 596 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,880 Speaker 2: Do the or or ring. It's all good. 597 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: You intervened in your life and you live in a 598 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 1: halfway house. 599 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 4: For me, you know I lost everything, you know when, 600 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 4: and you know in twenty sixteen, the day my ex 601 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 4: wife left me, And you know, I lost everything mostly 602 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 4: because of me and my actions and the way I 603 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 4: treated people. And you know, I went through lock with 604 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 4: the cancers and the steroids, and I have one hundred 605 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 4: percent was not myself by any means. But at the 606 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 4: same time, I wasn't the best guy. So there's a 607 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,440 Speaker 4: lot of you know understanding of you know, why my 608 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,399 Speaker 4: ex wife left me, but you know, it broke me. 609 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,760 Speaker 4: You know, I was in love with her, I was 610 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 4: in love with my family. I was in love with 611 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,679 Speaker 4: the life we built, and I felt like it was 612 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 4: taken away from me without any notice, and I wasn't 613 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,640 Speaker 4: expecting it. I didn't see it because I was so 614 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,680 Speaker 4: spun out of my mind all the time with racing 615 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 4: thoughts from all this distosterone and all these pills and 616 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 4: just so much shit, you know, I was going through, 617 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,679 Speaker 4: and it just broke me. 618 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 3: So I was at a point where I didn't know 619 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:37,679 Speaker 3: what was going on. I was. 620 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 4: I was living on my boat actually at the time, 621 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 4: because I had to leave my house and I wasn't 622 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 4: doing well and I was at the point where I 623 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,920 Speaker 4: needed help. I didn't trust myself, so I checked myself 624 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 4: into that halfway house. And it was an experience, you know. 625 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 4: I was, you know, fairly you know, successful famous TV shows, 626 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,359 Speaker 4: and I'm living with crackheads and heroin addicts and I 627 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,679 Speaker 4: have to do laundry and I'm getting you know, alcohol 628 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 4: tests did there's curfew and it was definitely an experience. 629 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:04,640 Speaker 2: How long were you there? 630 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 3: I was in that I believe I was there for 631 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 3: about sixty days. I was there for about sixty days. 632 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,120 Speaker 2: And who suggested that. 633 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:13,520 Speaker 3: It was actually doctor Drew? 634 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:14,919 Speaker 2: Really? 635 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:16,399 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah. 636 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,159 Speaker 4: I was on the back of my boat with a 637 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,919 Speaker 4: couple of my buddies one day mid conversation. You know, 638 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,640 Speaker 4: I just fell over, passed out, hit the deck when 639 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 4: I came to, you know. 640 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,880 Speaker 1: Literally hit the deck of the boat. Yeah, that's an expression, 641 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 1: but yeah. 642 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, next time I know, my friend puts the phone 643 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 4: on my ear and it's doctor Drew. 644 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 3: And I knew I knew of him, but I didn't 645 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,119 Speaker 3: know him. 646 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 4: And next thing I know, I'm talking to doctor Drew. 647 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,880 Speaker 4: And next thing I know, I'm checking into a facility. 648 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,720 Speaker 1: Wow, So the Halfway House is a facility. And was 649 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: your ex wife supportive? Was she to like traumatize on 650 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,800 Speaker 1: her own, on her own journey, Like she was. 651 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,679 Speaker 4: Way to traumatize on her own and she was on 652 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 4: her own journey And that was the most difficult part, 653 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 4: you know, it was just it was just too far gone, 654 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 4: and no matter what I did, it was just too late. 655 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,120 Speaker 4: So it you know, I yeah, it was very very 656 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,959 Speaker 4: tough experience, but you know what, I wouldn't change it. 657 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:15,439 Speaker 3: You know, it. 658 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 4: Changed my life. Took away all these fears and all 659 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,640 Speaker 4: these anxieties and all these stresses, and every single thing 660 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 4: I was always worried about and stress about literally disappeared 661 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,280 Speaker 4: the day she walked out, and I realized none of 662 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 4: it mattered. 663 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:38,359 Speaker 1: Nothing mattered, you know, you mean, because you lost it 664 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,639 Speaker 1: all and you were still alive, like you didn't have 665 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 1: to worry about like the thought of everything, there just 666 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,879 Speaker 1: was nothing, so like you were at that was that 667 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:45,800 Speaker 1: was the real bottom? 668 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 2: Is that what you mean? 669 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 3: No? 670 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,359 Speaker 4: Meaning everything that would cause stress or pain in my life. 671 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 4: You know, when she left me, I realized that wasn't stress, 672 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 4: that wasn't pain. Her leaving me was the real pain. 673 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 4: And now you know, I've been through so much pain. 674 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,919 Speaker 4: When something bad happens, I reflect right, and it's nowhere 675 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 4: near as painful as the shit I've experienced. So I'm 676 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 4: just so much stronger today. 677 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 1: I so relate to that because I had a very 678 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: gnarly ten year divorce, But it was so bad, and 679 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 1: I grew up in a very abusive, like dysfunctional, drug 680 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 1: alcoholic you new disorder everything childhood. This was so bad 681 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,439 Speaker 1: that like I couldn't imagine surviving and I couldn't imagine 682 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,719 Speaker 1: my life being anything but like how bad it was, 683 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,439 Speaker 1: it just could you couldn't. It was that golf thing 684 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 1: I told you, Abaud, But like when it was free. 685 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 2: It was such freedom. 686 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 1: When it was over, it was like, I mean that 687 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 1: I understand what you're talking about. Like you're just like, 688 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 1: oh my god, I survived this thing. I don't want 689 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,560 Speaker 1: to survive anything else, but I kind of could, Like 690 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,400 Speaker 1: you survive that thing exactly right. 691 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 4: It's all that reflection, so like I look, you know, 692 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 4: I got to my cancers in twenty thirteen. 693 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 3: They removed my thyroid. 694 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 4: All my emotions were all over the place because your 695 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:59,360 Speaker 4: thyroid regulates everything. And then they removed my thyroid, and 696 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 4: then they I started taking synthetic medication, but later on 697 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 4: I turned out I was totally under medicated, so I 698 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:09,640 Speaker 4: had a depression, brain fog, fatigue, I wasn't myself. And 699 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 4: then I went through the two surgeries of thyroid cancer 700 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:16,080 Speaker 4: and testicular cancer, and I wasn't feeling good. And then 701 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 4: a couple months later I started feeling better. I went 702 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 4: out to golf one day this is in the book, 703 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 4: took a swing, went to pick up my ball. Next 704 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 4: thing I know, my back went out. I was having 705 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,720 Speaker 4: the round of my life, the round of my life. 706 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 4: I've never played golf like I did that day, so 707 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,120 Speaker 4: I said, I'm gonna keep going, went to the next hole, 708 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 4: took a swing, hit the ground, screaming. 709 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 710 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 3: And for the next year and a half of my life, 711 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 3: it was. 712 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 4: It was worse than cancer, to be honest, because I 713 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 4: was taking you know, ten to twelve delauded or vike 714 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 4: it in a purpose at every single day. If you 715 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 4: watch early seasons of my shows, you'll see me go 716 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 4: from two hundred and forty pounds from cancer to one 717 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 4: hundred and sixty five pounds from the pain pills and 718 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:55,960 Speaker 4: the opiates. 719 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,600 Speaker 2: Didn't you get sick getting off of it? 720 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 3: You know? Yeah? You know? 721 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,720 Speaker 4: I actually I quit cold Turkey the day that my 722 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 4: back got better. And I didn't know I did okay 723 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,120 Speaker 4: when I got off of it. But when I was 724 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 4: on it, like I was, I wasn't. I was not 725 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,000 Speaker 4: a good human. Oh my gosh, Like that stuff is toxic. 726 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,440 Speaker 4: But the pain I was experiencing from my back was 727 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 4: like nothing I ever experienced in my life. And then 728 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,080 Speaker 4: I had the surgery. I came home the night of 729 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 4: the surgery, and then there was complications. My urinary check 730 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,239 Speaker 4: was blocked. I thought my bladder was gonna explode. Had 731 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 4: to call the ambulance to go back to the hospital. 732 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 4: So my family, you know, we just went through so 733 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 4: much with two cancers and back surgeries. 734 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 1: And when you say my family, you mean your ex 735 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,480 Speaker 1: and your kids. Are your parents? Like who's your family? 736 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 3: Everybody? Everybody? Everybody you have a you have. 737 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 2: A decent spital, that you have a decent support system. 738 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 4: Absolutely, my my parents are fantastic. They've always been big 739 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,760 Speaker 4: supporters of me. My family, family is number one for me. 740 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,960 Speaker 4: But during the during those years, like I look back 741 00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:00,040 Speaker 4: and I was, I was so gone because I I 742 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,320 Speaker 4: had so many different chemicals in my body and and 743 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 4: then I didn't have my hormones, I didn't have my thyroid, 744 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,560 Speaker 4: I was on testosterone, I was taking opiates, I was 745 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 4: toughering with anxiety, and it just like I was. 746 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:13,520 Speaker 3: I was dying inside. 747 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: I mean I was when was this? 748 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 2: When was the pinnacle of this? 749 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 3: What Yearah, twenty sixteen. 750 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 2: Okay, so not that long ago? 751 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was. 752 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 4: Yes, almost seven years ago now, no, almost eight years 753 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 4: ago now, Wow, and. 754 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:28,680 Speaker 2: What is right? 755 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: You were like in a cloud and a fog, but 756 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 1: functioning in business because probably in the first thing in 757 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 1: the morning you can get shit done by the end 758 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: of the day. 759 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, and I and honestly, I've just come home at night, 760 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 4: go up to my office, stare at the wall, and 761 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,640 Speaker 4: turmoil and pain for no reason whatsoever. Oh my major, 762 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:46,000 Speaker 4: Like you know, mental health, depression, all these things are real, 763 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 4: you know. And I've I've experienced, you know, a lot 764 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 4: of different things. You know. 765 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 3: I was actually on bipolar medicine for nine years. 766 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 2: You have had a lot of crap in your body. 767 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 1: Is there anything in your body now or you're like 768 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 1: completely clean of stuff. 769 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,720 Speaker 4: I do take ADHD ADHD medicine and that's all I take. 770 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 4: And I started taking that two years ago, and man, 771 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:13,320 Speaker 4: what a vast improvement. So I started taking ADHD medication 772 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 4: for the first time when I was seventeen. So I 773 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,280 Speaker 4: got into some trouble when I was seventeen. I ended 774 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,080 Speaker 4: up going to juvenile hall for a little bit. And 775 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 4: when I got back, when I got out, they sent 776 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 4: me to the doctor. Turns out at ADHD and they 777 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 4: started me on this medicine and like overnight, my GPA 778 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 4: went from a two point zero to three point eight. Wow, 779 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,000 Speaker 4: like overnight, I was calmer. I was eight, But then 780 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 4: like I don't even know, it was so strong. I 781 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 4: was a walking zombie. Like I completely changed my personality. 782 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 4: And then what happened was when I turned eighteen, they 783 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,840 Speaker 4: said if I wanted to keep taking my medicine, I 784 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,960 Speaker 4: had to go see the doctor because I was an adult. Now, 785 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 4: of course I said no, right, So now, looking back, 786 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:53,880 Speaker 4: that's why. 787 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,640 Speaker 3: I went into that free fall. That's why I gained 788 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:56,280 Speaker 3: sixty pounds. 789 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 2: That's dangerous. 790 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,240 Speaker 1: That's like going off your bipolar medicine or something like, 791 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 1: you went off your meda and you aren't thinking straight, 792 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,720 Speaker 1: so you made your own decisions based on bad judgment. 793 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, so that's what I did. 794 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 4: And then I went on that downhill spiral until Justin 795 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 4: came into my life and forced me to go to 796 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,360 Speaker 4: the gym. And then two years ago, you know, just 797 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 4: very overwhelmed, and I decided to give it a shot again. 798 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 4: And man, it's been such a game changer for. 799 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 2: Me, the ADHD medicine. Wow. 800 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:33,880 Speaker 1: So yeah, there's a mental health situation here. And so 801 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,640 Speaker 1: your ex wife, are you friends you co parent. Do 802 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,280 Speaker 1: you have a decent relationship now, Christine. 803 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, we're actually doing the best we ever have, which 804 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,320 Speaker 4: is which is fantastic. 805 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 3: You know, her and I we communicate regularly. We get along. 806 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:53,719 Speaker 4: We're extremely friendly. You know, Christine and my wife head 807 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 4: their communicate all the time. They get along great, and 808 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 4: it's and it's been really really good for the last 809 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 4: i'd say, about two two and a half years. 810 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 1: So you have a good blending, blended situation. And your 811 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:05,520 Speaker 1: ex is remarried too. 812 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, she's she's remarried. Yeah, she's remarried. 813 00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:12,359 Speaker 1: Okay, because I feel like the whole thing has been 814 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 1: public and I've seen it in the periphery, but I 815 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:14,880 Speaker 1: don't know about it. 816 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,759 Speaker 2: Who did she marry? Didn't she marry someone? 817 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:17,799 Speaker 5: Go on? 818 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, so, I mean she got remarried twice. So she 819 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 4: got married to a gentleman named Aunt Ann said, who 820 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,040 Speaker 4: I'm friends with him now too, and actually had a 821 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 4: baby with him. 822 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:27,520 Speaker 2: Okay. 823 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 3: You know, we talk about difficult. 824 00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,160 Speaker 4: You know, she got with aunt shortly, you know, after 825 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,840 Speaker 4: we separated and I was still filming with her, and 826 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,520 Speaker 4: it was a difficult experience watching someone you love girl 827 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,719 Speaker 4: baby right, Wow, So talking about pain. 828 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. 829 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,799 Speaker 4: It was tough because I still loved her, right and 830 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,080 Speaker 4: I had to show up every day and watch her 831 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 4: belly grow and think. 832 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,359 Speaker 2: Man like holy she's yeah okay. 833 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 4: But you know, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 834 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 4: So unfortunately that marriage didn't work out. And then she 835 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 4: got remarried to a gentleman named Josh Hall and and 836 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,600 Speaker 4: today they're married and they're they're filming some together. 837 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: Well, so you got a lot of entertainment in this crew, 838 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,120 Speaker 1: and so you get along with him and her. It's 839 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 1: all decent, like pretty good. 840 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're all totally good. 841 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,240 Speaker 4: You know. Like like I said, if you're always dwelling 842 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 4: on the past and negative experiences and you have hate, rage. 843 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 3: And it, you're never gonna you're never gonna have a 844 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:16,960 Speaker 3: happy life. 845 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,760 Speaker 1: Right. But you're you're doing all this in the entertainment industry, 846 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,160 Speaker 1: which makes it like n in LA, which makes it 847 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,200 Speaker 1: like double triple challenging. Like I'm friends with Kyle and 848 00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,360 Speaker 1: Maurice and I watch them on TV and in Beverly Hills. 849 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,359 Speaker 1: With the pressure and the money and the businesses, it's 850 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 1: a swirling layered thing. 851 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:37,239 Speaker 4: It's a lot, it's a lot. You know, but you 852 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 4: know I have no you know, like I said, it's acceptance. 853 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,440 Speaker 4: You know, all the anger and rage blah blah, But 854 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,840 Speaker 4: at the end of the day, guess what, did I 855 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:46,600 Speaker 4: have a part in it? 856 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:46,879 Speaker 5: Yeah? 857 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,960 Speaker 3: Do I need to take some responsibility? Yes? So is 858 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,800 Speaker 3: it her fault? No, it's our fault. 859 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 1: Well, she must respect the fact that you say that publicly. 860 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,480 Speaker 1: That's really because everyone wants to blame everybody else in that. 861 00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:56,279 Speaker 3: I don't know yet. 862 00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:58,040 Speaker 4: I don't know if she's ever heard me say that 863 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 4: public here. Oh okay, well you know I just started 864 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,799 Speaker 4: talking recently. Yeah, you're ready. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice. 865 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,879 Speaker 4: It's nice. It's amazing what time can do to your 866 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:08,839 Speaker 4: It is. 867 00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:10,719 Speaker 3: It is. And that's what I tell people. Man. 868 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 4: Every people waste their entire lives worried and stress and 869 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,600 Speaker 4: think about it. The shit we were stressed about when 870 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,520 Speaker 4: we were eighteen years old, did any of it matter? 871 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:17,800 Speaker 1: No? 872 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 4: The shit we were stressed about when we were twenty 873 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 4: seven did it matter? 874 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:21,279 Speaker 5: No? 875 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,480 Speaker 3: The shit were stressed about today? Is it going to 876 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 3: matter in ten years? No? 877 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,200 Speaker 1: No? Well, this woman, this woman on TikTok, I have 878 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 1: to get her name back because it's not fair that 879 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 1: I like, I'm living by this, and I don't remember 880 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,719 Speaker 1: her name because I recognize that you gave credit to 881 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 1: the person which we'll talk about, who saw that you 882 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 1: had a bulging something bulging in your neck and is 883 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,200 Speaker 1: responsible for you finding out you had cancer, and then 884 00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:46,919 Speaker 1: you give doctor Drew credit. But I saw this woman 885 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,240 Speaker 1: on TikTok and she was saying the amount of time 886 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,360 Speaker 1: and bandwidth we spend trying to control what other people 887 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:57,680 Speaker 1: are doing, saying, like, you know, you can only control yourself, 888 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 1: and it was very liberating for me. And sometimes you 889 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,279 Speaker 1: see something at the time you need to hear it. 890 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,400 Speaker 1: But I thought that is very powerful. 891 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,879 Speaker 4: One hundred percent. You want to know what changed my life, 892 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 4: and it's a very simple thing. 893 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,960 Speaker 3: One word. So I think it was twenty seventeen. 894 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 4: I was looking at Newport Beach, driving up and down 895 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 4: Newport Boulevard, literally just up and down, up and down, up, down, screaming, crying, cursing, 896 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:24,320 Speaker 4: hitting my like so sad and screaming about how life's 897 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:24,759 Speaker 4: not fair. 898 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,399 Speaker 3: It's not fair, this happened. It's not fair. 899 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,799 Speaker 4: I got cancer. It's not fair. I hurt my back. 900 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,600 Speaker 4: It's not fair. She left me, and then it hit me, 901 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 4: Life's not fair. And like in that moment, like this 902 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,359 Speaker 4: calm came over me except and started and I said, 903 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:41,280 Speaker 4: life's not fair. 904 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,080 Speaker 3: Like that, shit happens to good people every day. 905 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 4: There are things happening exponentially worse than what I'm going through, 906 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,080 Speaker 4: to people that don't deserve it. 907 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,120 Speaker 3: Life's not fair. So because life's fair, not fair, what 908 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 3: do you do? 909 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,919 Speaker 4: You do the best you can with what you got right, 910 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:03,240 Speaker 4: and the second you acknowledge that you're free, you're free 911 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,799 Speaker 4: to go out there and build that new life and 912 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,880 Speaker 4: chase those dreams and rebuild yourself. 913 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,120 Speaker 1: Well, it's the same thing you're saying about the sleep. 914 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 1: It's allowing for it to be. Okay, you might not 915 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,360 Speaker 1: sleep tonight. Okay, you know it's going to die. Like 916 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,400 Speaker 1: that happened, this person broke your heart, you were an addict, 917 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,279 Speaker 1: you fucked up, it happened, you lost my Like that's 918 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,960 Speaker 1: what you're effectively saying. You're saying like it's liberating to 919 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,320 Speaker 1: allow for things to be fucked up. It's very liberating 920 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,480 Speaker 1: to allow for yourself to get your heart broken or 921 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,279 Speaker 1: not sleep. It's like it's allowing for that versus like 922 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,160 Speaker 1: trying to hold on to it and have it be 923 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:39,920 Speaker 1: so perfect. 924 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 3: Exactly. It's acceptance. 925 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,560 Speaker 4: Like like literally, it is impossible to be a highly 926 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 4: successful individual without being in a lawsuit at one point 927 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:49,520 Speaker 4: in your life. 928 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,440 Speaker 2: Right, So what does. 929 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,000 Speaker 4: That mean for anyone who wants to be an entrepreneur? 930 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 4: You better expect that one day you're going to be 931 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,520 Speaker 4: in a lawsuit. So when it comes, don't cry to bone, 932 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:01,439 Speaker 4: say okay, it's here. 933 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 2: Costs a business, Yes, totally. 934 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:04,920 Speaker 3: Happens to everybody. 935 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,600 Speaker 1: Yesterday I let a designer go that I paid most 936 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,600 Speaker 1: of their fee for a house that I'm doing, and 937 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to give somebody else half what they got 938 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,880 Speaker 1: and they're going to do double the work because I 939 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,239 Speaker 1: got to finish this thing. And I'm mad that I 940 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,399 Speaker 1: paid that person all this money and they shit the bed. 941 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,200 Speaker 2: But we are where we are. It's a cost of 942 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:21,760 Speaker 2: doing business. 943 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:25,200 Speaker 1: I can't like want to just stay with that person 944 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,040 Speaker 1: and fuck up the whole project because I already paid 945 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,239 Speaker 1: them chasing it Like that's what you see, you know 946 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,280 Speaker 1: what it's like, we did it exactly. 947 00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:34,319 Speaker 4: I'll give you an example. Early on in my career, 948 00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,279 Speaker 4: a contractor would burn me or a sub would burn me. 949 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,880 Speaker 4: I would spend months fighting over fifteen hundred dollars, hundreds 950 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 4: of hours and energy and letters and anger and hate 951 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 4: and rage. 952 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:47,280 Speaker 1: Today it happened fifteen I said, bye, it happened exactly. 953 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,759 Speaker 2: The money, Yeah, you'll waste more money, keep staying on 954 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:51,880 Speaker 2: the road. Totally. 955 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, we we have a lot of things in common, 956 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,320 Speaker 1: like with this philosophy. So Heather, Heather is your wife, 957 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,319 Speaker 1: she's all on TV with you, and like this is 958 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:05,760 Speaker 1: another entertainment relationship. 959 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:10,279 Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's funny because it's totally it was totally random. 960 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,760 Speaker 4: I randomly met Heather. I didn't know about her show. 961 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,320 Speaker 4: It wasn't a setup. Was she was living and I 962 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:20,520 Speaker 4: think Sweden dating a hockey player at the time, well 963 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,759 Speaker 4: not at the time, but right before I met her. 964 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,400 Speaker 4: So it's fourth of July twenty nineteen. We're at Woody's 965 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,480 Speaker 4: Bar in Newport Beach and it's like party and the 966 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,760 Speaker 4: fires going and people are dancing and it only fits 967 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:31,600 Speaker 4: like five boats. 968 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,920 Speaker 3: Luckily I got a spot. 969 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,239 Speaker 4: I'm mid conversation and out of the corner of my 970 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,320 Speaker 4: mind just seeing this beautiful blonde girl with these braids, 971 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,399 Speaker 4: and like mid conversation, I stopped talking. I'd be lying 972 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,040 Speaker 4: a right to her, and of course I'm feeling confident 973 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:46,440 Speaker 4: because it's my yacht. Yeah, I put my hand out. 974 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,040 Speaker 3: I go, hi, I'm arch. She goes, oh, I know 975 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:48,560 Speaker 3: who you are. 976 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,359 Speaker 4: And I'm thinking, all right, yeah, all right, this is good, good, good, 977 00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,200 Speaker 4: Thank God for TV. And then she goes, you asked 978 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,440 Speaker 4: me out two years ago, don't you remember? 979 00:40:58,880 --> 00:40:59,399 Speaker 3: So shit? 980 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,200 Speaker 4: I said, where I ask you out? She goes Instagram. 981 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,000 Speaker 4: So I said one second. So I put my back 982 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,080 Speaker 4: to her, pulled up Instagram. 983 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 3: Look. 984 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,799 Speaker 4: She responded she had a boyfriend. So I swung back 985 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,759 Speaker 4: around and said still about that boyfriend? She said no. 986 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:12,920 Speaker 4: So I was really excited. A couple of cocktails in, 987 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,240 Speaker 4: so I said, hey, you want to go to Paris? 988 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,560 Speaker 3: She said no. I said you want to okay? I said, okay, 989 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:18,680 Speaker 3: you want to go to Las Vegas? Want to do 990 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,799 Speaker 3: something funch? She goes, I'm not going anywhere overnight with you. 991 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,320 Speaker 3: I said, okay, you want to do dinner? She goes maybe. 992 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,319 Speaker 4: So then we start talking and we started getting into 993 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 4: like a good conversation and then this, you know, like wasisted. 994 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,880 Speaker 4: Twenty one year old girl comes over and she was 995 00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,440 Speaker 4: being obnoxious, So Heather got bothered and she left and 996 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:36,960 Speaker 4: she went back to the boat next to me. So 997 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,200 Speaker 4: now I'm sitting there sulking because I hadn't seen one 998 00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:41,840 Speaker 4: girl in like four years. 999 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,120 Speaker 3: That I was like wow. 1000 00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:45,799 Speaker 4: And then I look on the boat next to me 1001 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,640 Speaker 4: and I see her and this other guy, this like 1002 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,400 Speaker 4: good looking guy with nice pretty hair and shade. 1003 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:51,040 Speaker 3: They're laughing. 1004 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 4: She's throwing her hair back, and I'm watching, and I'm 1005 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,399 Speaker 4: watching my future wife be stolen, right, And. 1006 00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,400 Speaker 3: I said, oh, hell no, I'm not going down like that. 1007 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,040 Speaker 4: So I go to the wheelhouse, I find the horn 1008 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,240 Speaker 4: and I late on that sucker. The whole bar jumped, 1009 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 4: like the whole like everybody jumped and they and I 1010 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,880 Speaker 4: stuck my head out the sunroof and I yelled at 1011 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:14,120 Speaker 4: the guy to get off my girl. Luckily, luckily Heather 1012 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,160 Speaker 4: thought it was funny because they started laughing. So then 1013 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,840 Speaker 4: I walked out to them. The guy tells me big 1014 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,279 Speaker 4: fan walks away. I was like, thank. 1015 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 2: God, oh my god. 1016 00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:24,640 Speaker 3: And then I got her number. 1017 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,800 Speaker 1: There you've got a number like in a goodwill hunting 1018 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 1: and that was it. We were together. In the end 1019 00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:30,680 Speaker 1: is the rest is history. 1020 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:32,480 Speaker 3: She canceled our first date. 1021 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,200 Speaker 4: It was two weeks after, she said I'm not ready 1022 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,680 Speaker 4: blah blah blah, and I just sent her one text message. 1023 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,200 Speaker 3: I said, I'm different than you. Think you should give 1024 00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:41,000 Speaker 3: it a shot. 1025 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:41,640 Speaker 2: Okay. 1026 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,239 Speaker 4: So a week later she said she'll give it a shot. 1027 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:45,960 Speaker 4: I said, let's do dinner. She said, no, I'll go 1028 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,480 Speaker 4: for a drink. I don't think she wanted to spend 1029 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:51,439 Speaker 4: that much time with me. So I show up. It's 1030 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:55,080 Speaker 4: the middle of summer, there's a heat wave, but I 1031 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,200 Speaker 4: know I look good in this one blue sweater I 1032 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,719 Speaker 4: wear every Christmas. So, not thinking about the heat wave, 1033 00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,400 Speaker 4: I go to dinner in this blue sweater and the 1034 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,480 Speaker 4: whole dinner, I'm just sweating. My heart's pounding, I'm having anxiety. 1035 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,600 Speaker 4: I'm acting like a weirdo. And finally, because you know 1036 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,479 Speaker 4: I'm an anxious guy to find, she goes, are you okay? 1037 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,040 Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I am not okay. She goes, let's 1038 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:14,759 Speaker 4: just get drunk. I said, I like that. So we 1039 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,200 Speaker 4: ended up having a couple of drinks, hung out till 1040 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,200 Speaker 4: like three in the morning, talked the entire way home 1041 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:21,160 Speaker 4: on FaceTime. 1042 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,880 Speaker 3: Four days later, we moved in together and this is it. 1043 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,680 Speaker 1: You've been together. And then you got married and here 1044 00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:28,120 Speaker 1: we are and it's a great relationship. 1045 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:28,839 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1046 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,680 Speaker 3: And our son turns a year old in a couple 1047 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:31,120 Speaker 3: of days. 1048 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:33,960 Speaker 2: So you have a baby. And how old are your 1049 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:34,959 Speaker 2: other kids? 1050 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,759 Speaker 3: Taylor is thirteen years old. I can't believe it. 1051 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:39,839 Speaker 2: I have a thirteen year old. 1052 00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,080 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, so much fun. I am so obsessed 1053 00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,480 Speaker 4: with my daughter. And you know, we're talking about divorce 1054 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,319 Speaker 4: right and talking about pain. I never would be the 1055 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,600 Speaker 4: father I am today if I didn't go through what 1056 00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:51,200 Speaker 4: I went through. 1057 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,880 Speaker 3: I was not connected with my daughter when she was younger. 1058 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,880 Speaker 4: I was working all the time, and I felt so 1059 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,640 Speaker 4: shitty about myself. And what I learned is all I 1060 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,400 Speaker 4: had do was invest the time. 1061 00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,440 Speaker 1: It's completely an ROI. What everything you put in you 1062 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,320 Speaker 1: get out. Like, my daughter had a bad day yesterday. 1063 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,840 Speaker 1: She's thirteen, and I was texting her, like, you know, 1064 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 1: because sometimes you want to problem solve with these kids 1065 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,959 Speaker 1: instead of just being there for them, so they because 1066 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:17,480 Speaker 1: they feel safe if you problem solved, they feel alienated. 1067 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:19,000 Speaker 1: And so she came home and I just gave her 1068 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,480 Speaker 1: like the most gigantic hug and was like, I'm here 1069 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:21,879 Speaker 1: for you. 1070 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:23,080 Speaker 2: How can I help? 1071 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,040 Speaker 1: Like, how can I help for a thirteen year old 1072 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,239 Speaker 1: because they want to yell at you and be frustrated. No, Mom, 1073 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,440 Speaker 1: it's not. I'm like, how can I help you? Whatever 1074 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,680 Speaker 1: I can do? It really works. 1075 00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I love it. It's investing the time. 1076 00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,560 Speaker 4: And like today, me and my daughter, like since she 1077 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,120 Speaker 4: was five years old, you know, we've been like best friends, 1078 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:39,360 Speaker 4: you know. 1079 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,320 Speaker 3: I mean we're so close. 1080 00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:44,080 Speaker 4: And me and my son were so close and it's 1081 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:45,680 Speaker 4: the most feeling in the world. 1082 00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:46,560 Speaker 3: He's eight years old. 1083 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:48,680 Speaker 1: So you have a thirteen and eight and a one. 1084 00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,560 Speaker 1: You have a beautiful family and the blending is going 1085 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,880 Speaker 1: well and they accept your story, your past, and like 1086 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:56,880 Speaker 1: you're in a good spot right now, perfect time to 1087 00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:57,479 Speaker 1: launch a book. 1088 00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:03,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, everything is just going so well right now. Personally, Like, 1089 00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,800 Speaker 4: you know, I got what I've always wanted. It was 1090 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,040 Speaker 4: my family back, you know, like I feel like I 1091 00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,200 Speaker 4: have a family again, which I do have a family. 1092 00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:14,839 Speaker 4: We're a family of five, we had a dog. It 1093 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 4: feels good. You know. 1094 00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:17,120 Speaker 3: I didn't like being on my own. 1095 00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:20,719 Speaker 4: I was just lost. I was I mean, it was 1096 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,440 Speaker 4: just it wasn't fun, you know. And and just to 1097 00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,960 Speaker 4: have Heather in my life and in my kids' lives 1098 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,520 Speaker 4: and to have this family I have, I'm just very blessed. 1099 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,400 Speaker 1: So you have a family, you are sleeping, and you 1100 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,360 Speaker 1: are successful, and you're at peace. 1101 00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,920 Speaker 2: So it's a good, good, good story. 1102 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:37,319 Speaker 3: All right. 1103 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,560 Speaker 1: Well, it was so nice to meet you, so honored 1104 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,600 Speaker 1: to like hear your story and talk to you, and 1105 00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:45,239 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it, and I wish you the best 1106 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:46,520 Speaker 1: of luck on the book and in life. 1107 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,719 Speaker 3: Absolutely, it was a great, great chatting with you. 1108 00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:50,160 Speaker 4: I've been a big fan of you for many years 1109 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,280 Speaker 4: and it's been exciting to watch what you've done. 1110 00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:53,839 Speaker 2: I appreciate. Thank you so much. 1111 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,160 Speaker 1: Great great story and amazing like happy not ending, but 1112 00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,280 Speaker 1: happy moment in time. 1113 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,960 Speaker 3: Oh, just getting started. Wait till the second book. 1114 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,600 Speaker 1: Exactly, The next one will be called Life Isn't Fair. Awesome, 1115 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:06,760 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. 1116 00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,439 Speaker 3: After the flip, all right, we'll see you, yeah. 1117 00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,120 Speaker 2: Exactly awesome. Thanks. 1118 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:21,719 Speaker 1: Taric was very very interesting, very open, very raw, very vulnerable. 1119 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:29,719 Speaker 1: What a ride, young guy for such a story cancer, addiction, breakup, loss, 1120 00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:31,439 Speaker 1: halfway house. 1121 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:33,440 Speaker 2: ADHD money. 1122 00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:36,600 Speaker 1: I mean, wow, this guy has a story of ten 1123 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,520 Speaker 1: people's lives.