WEBVTT - What Turns You On? 0:00:01.800 --> 0:00:10.640 Sucking with de Dared Haven Heart Radio podcast. Hey, welcome 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.680 back to help I Suck at Dating. I'm Jared Haveman, 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:17.680 joined always by Dean Unglert, who's somewhere in the world 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:20.040 on the side of the road recording this. But we 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:21.919 have a very special guest who's joining us. She's going 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:25.520 to co host with us. Uh you know her from 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:30.360 her time on Shameless, Insatiable, Chelsea Lately, Orange, the New 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:32.319 is the New Black. I can go on and on. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:36.560 She also is a Bachelor super fan host the podcast 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:39.519 Will You Accept This Rose, which might be the greatest 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:43.240 Bachelor podcast title of all time because it's so on brand. 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:46.879 It is Arden Marine Art. And thank you so much 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:50.479 for joining us. Jared, what a joy. I am so 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:52.920 happy to be here with you guys. I'm such a 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:55.320 fan and I'm a fellow Rhode Islander. So this is 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:57.440 this is Little Roady where the two that got out 0:00:57.440 --> 0:00:59.960 and the proud right now, the last thing we need 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:02.000 right now is be out number two to one Rhode 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:04.880 Islanders versus the world. Dean knows how much pride enjoy 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:07.360 I take in my in my home state. So I 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:11.200 am so glad that you were on this podcast. Thank you, okay, Dean, 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:13.920 I went to Colorado College If that helps, Does that 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:17.000 help at all? I spent some time. I've smoked out 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:19.360 of a twelve foot ball like super barb at the 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:22.040 top of a loft. Things have gone arrived for me. 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:24.920 So I've also done that too. Hey, that was just 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:26.400 down the street from where I was in school too, 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:28.640 at u CCS, So I spent I had a couple 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:31.319 you know, drunken weekends at the c C campus. I 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:33.120 can't say it wasn't the worst time in the world. 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:36.120 Is that like a Colorado thing you have to do. 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:37.840 You have to smoke out of a twelve foot bong 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:42.360 on top of a loft something that. Yeah, if you're 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:43.920 born in Colorado, you do it the day you're born. 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:45.440 And if you go to college there, you just do 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:47.160 it your first day of college. So it really just 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:48.760 depends on when you get into the state. So like 0:01:48.800 --> 0:01:50.480 every eighteen years, you have to do this type of 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.120 thing every once every eighteen years. I'll tell you I'm 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:55.920 not even good at pot like and it was a 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:59.840 terrible calm, but like I was already drunk usually and 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.840 then somebody's like just have a hit and it's it 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:05.320 wasn't a good idea in general, and then you have 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:08.240 me climbing like as a light lightweight on top of 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:12.280 a homemade laft. It wasn't good. It didn't end well, Jared. 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:15.320 I don't think I've ever heard somebody describe themselves as 0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:20.200 I'm not good at pot, but I'm bad I'm bad 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:22.160 about I go right to Middle Earth. I go right 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:25.120 to like the Demogorgan's coming to take me like. It's 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:27.760 not I'm the I am the buzz kill. I am 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:30.280 the chick that's like, if you don't hold my hand, 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:33.120 I'm gonna fall into your couch. You know, it's all. 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:35.600 It's all Middle Earth. It's not hear. I don't know 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:38.160 what's funny on the on the topic of weed, uh, 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:40.799 since we're already talking about it, why not is people 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:42.839 always assume, because of my life style that I smoke 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:44.360 a lot of weed too, But alright, I'm the exact 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:46.440 same as you. I am not good at pot. Whenever 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:48.360 I get high, I like become the person that no 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:51.040 one wants to be around, and so I just avoided 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:54.079 it all costs. At this point in my life. I'm 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:56.280 gonna guess you have a similar thing where people say 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:58.440 to me, and I'm certain they say to you where 0:02:58.440 --> 0:02:59.720 people are like, oh, I want to I want to 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:04.440 see you high. You're like really think that until I'm 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:06.120 high next to you and you have to deal with 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:09.799 me absolutely high for I stay high for days. It's 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:12.400 like it's like here we go again. Why did I 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.240 think this time was going to be different. I'll be 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:16.880 high until next Tuesday and you have to deal with me. 0:03:17.440 --> 0:03:20.000 The most recent memory of me smoking weed was actually 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:21.960 not too long ago. A couple of months ago. I 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:24.200 smoked out of my friends bong. It wasn't twelve feet long, 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:26.000 but I got too high and I was at this 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:28.480 my friend's house like kind of like a party or whatever, 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:30.480 and all of a sudden, it like hit me all 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:31.919 at once, and I like just lay down on the 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:33.960 couch for an hour, and I made Kylin come in 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:35.760 and abduct me and take me back to the apartment 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:38.520 because I literally I was so unable to function I 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:39.920 had to get the hell out of there. I don't know, 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:40.920 I don't know what it is. I don't know how 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:42.800 people can even function on it. I'm personally I'm not 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:44.240 one of those people. I'm glad that I'm in a 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:47.480 familiar company here. You know a little known fact about me. 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:51.520 I've never smoked pot, never once in my life. It's 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:55.000 not actually something I'm proud of. No, I mean I 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.120 only did it honestly because I was in Colorado and 0:03:57.120 --> 0:04:00.680 at a certain but you sort of have too. And 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:04.600 I never I passed Giggs. I never had the googles. 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:08.000 I like went straight past giggles and right to total paranoia. 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:10.200 I'm sure it's fun for a lot of people. I 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:12.160 it was not fun for no way. I'm such a 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:15.040 paranoid person in general. I already think people are like 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:18.039 watching me and I'm gonna attack me. I would kill 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:20.840 myself if I was on pot. I would be convinced 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:25.400 that the world is trying to get me, and I 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:28.040 need to just lock myself in a closet for at 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.919 least the next three years. Well, can I tell you? 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.359 I could promise you that is what would happen, because 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:36.679 I'm wired very similarly, and then I would in college 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:39.880 when I would do this, I one time locked myself 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:44.080 in my dorm room and under I hid under the rug. Okay, 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:48.479 I was like hiding. Ladies sized love like this girl 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:50.720 under like you're not going to notice this lump under 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:53.520 the rug. No one would find me, So I can 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.520 promise you don't need to dabble. I did the dabbling Forest, Jared. 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.200 You would end up locked in a closet. I mean, 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.200 it would make such a good story if Ashley found 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.440 me trying to hide under a rug. Though it almost 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:05.839 makes me want to try to talk. You know, what, 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:07.520 are you in Rhode Island right now? I know you 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:09.279 guys were there this summer. Were but I'm in l 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.480 A now. Unfortunately, you could hide it under a Rhode 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:14.000 Island rug. I feel like in l A it would 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:19.320 be it would be a little more alarm Yeah, round, 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:22.080 definitely more acceptible to hide under a rug. My cousin 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:24.640 hides under a rug every Tuesday. It's like the thing 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.240 that he does. Oh you think your cousin thinks he's 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:28.840 better than me. Your cousin who's the party boat d 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:30.840 jail does he thinks he's better than everybody. He drinks 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:35.159 his dunk and my sister, Your cousin. You tell your cousin. 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.640 I've been waiting for him behind the dunk and doughnuts 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:40.080 on one and I got some words for you, cousin. 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:43.920 How annoying are we Yeah, I'm just gonna sit back 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:45.640 and let you guys get this out of your sister. 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.080 Can I just say where I met a little baby boy, Dean. 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:50.880 I met Dean when Dean was about to become a 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:54.240 bachelor man. I met Dean at a very specific window 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.200 in time. Okay, I met Dean three years ago. My 0:05:57.240 --> 0:06:00.360 podcast did a live show at the Outside Lands Festival, 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:04.320 which was a joy in San Francisco, and it was 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.880 super fun and it was right after Rachel's season had 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:13.760 finished airing, and America everybody, I mean people, everybody loved 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:17.240 Dean and we were the slotted the earliest show of 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:21.520 the entire festival, you know, so like you have giant 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:24.600 musical acts going like they're like, why would you go 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:27.119 see comedy in a tent? Okay? And we were the 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:30.880 only noon slot the entire weekend. We were convinced no 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:33.320 one was going to come, and we had Dean, we 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:36.799 had Wells. Kenny was there, Alex and Benzi all came 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:41.680 and it was packed. It was packed, and my friend Anna, 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:46.279 it was Dean. She literally had to go like fight 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:49.839 young ladies. It was like as it was like Robert 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.720 Pattinson at the height of Twilight and they she had 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.080 to like fight to get Dean through the crowd to 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:58.560 come see like they were going back, and Dean he 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:01.160 kept was right before his first I stared and kepting like, 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:04.159 oh no, they're all gonna be mad at me. They're 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:05.960 all gonna be so mad at me. They don't know 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:08.880 because you've already filmed it, but like it had an 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:12.120 aired and you were about to do your first sponsored content. 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:14.400 It was like a watch and you kept apologizing from 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:16.560 the stage. You were like, I don't think I've sold out. 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.680 I'm going to sponsor a watch tomorrow and now. And 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:22.240 Dean was a joy. He was a delight. And now 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:24.560 here we are, You're on our podcast, which is not 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.840 why I'm unfortunately, but maybe one day. But you know 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:28.000 how when you when you know how you when you 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.320 ride a roller coaster and it's always like that initial 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:32.559 climb and you get to the top and that first 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:34.280 climb in the first big drop, like that's as high 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:36.239 as you get on the roller coaster. Is at first 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.000 that that was me getting to the top of the 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:40.240 roller coaster and it's all been downhill from there. Ever 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:43.360 since a couple of loops thrown in, you're a couple 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:45.000 of like twists and whatever, and a couple of big 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:46.440 you know, a couple of little rises. But that was 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:49.040 definitely the That was the pinnacle that I could never 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:52.200 plan to reach again. I couldn't. I couldn't imagine what 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:53.920 you were talking about. You you kept going like they 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:55.840 don't know, they don't know what's coming, they don't know. 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:59.400 I'm like, what did you do in Mexico? Like what's happening? 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:02.080 But it was such a joy and I will always 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:05.160 feel like I've always been rooting for you, and uh, 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:07.960 you were so fun and sweet and that's yeah. It 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:11.920 was a very specific window and there there is. I mean, 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:14.800 I still remember it to this day too. We became 0:08:14.800 --> 0:08:18.000 best friends that weekend, and I actually am jealous because 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:20.000 Alex and I are really good friends and you and 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:23.520 Alex really became best friends that weekend. Alex, Alex I. 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:26.320 I texted him yesterday. He said to say hi to you. 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:30.320 And also, Dean, I have a book that is coming. 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:32.240 I don't know when this air is, but it's out. 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:35.200 It's called Little Miss Little Compton. You're in it. I 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.160 talked about there's a photo of you. I need to 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:38.920 send you a copy whenever you get to a place 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.120 that actually accepts the mail. I was, I'll just throw 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.679 it at a van. Which which photo of me did 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:47.199 you choose and show you? They called you a TV 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:51.960 grief angel. Grief angel. My dad had just died. Your 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:54.840 dadda just my dada just died, and you guys, And 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:57.240 I felt like the Bachelor put me back together. And 0:08:57.240 --> 0:09:00.680 it was like talking about walking around the festival with 0:09:00.800 --> 0:09:04.120 five of the hottest guys I'd ever seen. And then 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:07.360 I and like, you know, I let myself cancel anything 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:08.960 I didn't want to do in my life, but I 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:10.680 wanted to do that. It was like he died, like, 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.080 you know, ten days before the festival, and I remember 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:15.400 bonding on stage with you about how dads are tricky, 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:19.319 and um, I don't know, it was really you guys. 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:21.920 It was. It was a particular moment in time and 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.160 I will always be rooting for you. I want to 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:26.520 hear more about this book. Is it like an autobiography? 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:30.040 It is. It's a funny book of essays, um, but 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:31.960 it's it's sort of I would say, it's really fun 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:35.199 and funny. It's heartfelt, you know. Um, there's a lot 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:36.800 of sort of my worst stuff there's a lot of 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.000 bad dating things in here. I mean, I could tell 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:42.200 you I definitely had a broken picker, like you put 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:44.679 me back in the day in a room, I will 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:46.920 pick the worst dude, like the guy that I will 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:48.880 be paying his rent, he will be stealing stuff from 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.560 my medicine cabinet, like all of it. So I gotta 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:54.640 stop you right there, because this is dating podcast. We 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:56.560 got to hear one of the stories before we carry on. 0:09:56.840 --> 0:10:00.400 Oh my god, I mean, okay, I dated this guy. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.680 I dated this guy. Here's okay, here's a dating thing 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:07.440 for guy ladies, anybody out there. I dated this guy. 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.480 He was like there was something I think alluring because 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:13.280 he kind of sucked to everybody else, but he was 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:16.080 like nice to me in the beginning, right, So there 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:19.360 was something about being chosen by like kind of a 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:21.600 douche but they're like nice to you, and You're like, 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:23.920 I'm the chosen Yeah, You're like the special person that 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:27.840 can turn the bad boy around. That's exactly it. So like, 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.600 and I hadn't had that before, Like I used to 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:33.000 be sort of the cheerleader for people. And I also 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:35.760 believe I write about there are no fixer uppers like 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:38.960 I used to think like my only worth was like 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:42.400 being like no, no, Brian, like you will be that 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:44.800 great stand up comic or like whatever like that. If 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:47.559 I could cheer like people are as is like that. 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:50.559 I do think there are no fixed ruppers. So I 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:53.760 dated this guy. He was like a fashion designer, and 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:58.080 he was such a dick, and I remember um, but 0:10:58.240 --> 0:10:59.640 in the beginning it was nice to me. And I 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:03.400 remember member he the first time I met his mom, 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:06.400 he was like screaming at her in the next room, 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.240 like and she was a nice lady. And I heard 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:10.960 him be like Dann and Channon, you know, like I 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.800 told you not to bleach my congenes, you know, like whenever. 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:16.679 And then and then I had to go and be like, oh, hi, 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:19.680 nice to meet you, Mrs Sotes, like I'm arden like 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:25.400 and I if somebody yells at their mom, they will 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.920 eventually if they hate their mom, eventually, they will hate you. 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:32.160 They will eventually, like if they're not respectful to their mom, 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:36.840 like to me, that is a red flag. That is 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:39.400 a big red flag, particularly if their mom is a 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:42.480 nice lady, particularly if you're an adult, like I feel 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:44.760 like I appreciate my mom so much more as I 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.360 get older because I'm like, wow, I've seen other women 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:51.720 be pregnant and it's um, it's a tough one, like 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:53.880 thank you, thank you for putting up with me for 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:56.559 ten months inside your body, kicking your ribs and then 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:02.560 birthing Yes, dude, I mean I talked about that. I 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:06.160 talked about I talked about like unsuccess. I talked about 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:09.640 like like aggressively trying to lose my virginity in high school, 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:13.120 like I wanted to do it before I graduated, and 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.440 I did. I got in under like the sixth day mark, 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:20.240 but I like there was there. I remember going on 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:22.640 like a double date in high school and we were 0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:24.640 did you guys have this in your school where there 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.360 was like the couple that wasn't the obvious horn dogs, 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:30.240 but they were off just getting at it like rabbits everywhere, 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:32.640 like the secret ones that looked just like good students, 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:36.480 but they were just like totally banging everywhere all day 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.120 every day. I don't know if it was like a couple, 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:42.480 but like I knew, you know, guys and girls that 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:44.880 were definitely like quote unquote the quiet ones. You know 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:46.960 that you're like you would never suspect and then like 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:51.520 every weekend there, you know. That's so I went on 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:53.920 a double date with like that couple that was not 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.360 the obvious couple, and I was like, the guy was 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.640 really cute. It was like a cool, like cool guy. 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:01.640 We'd be sort of dating for a couple of weeks, 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:04.760 and I, like an idiot. I wore this like almost 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:07.000 it looked like a door or the Explorer outfit. I 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.840 mean it was truly like a full like like a 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:13.960 sister wife full length circle skirt, and like like that 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.480 clearly sex was in the air in my outfit. And 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:18.760 I didn't know. We were going like to break into 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:20.840 a public pool to go skinny dipping, and we had 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:22.600 to climb a fence to get up and over, so 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.480 like it was like a really tall fence and I 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:26.679 climbed to the top and like the other couple was 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:29.560 already off and just like going at it in the water, 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:33.720 like in the opening sequence of what was that when 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:36.679 Elizabeth Berkeley was show Girls, they're getting at it in 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:41.720 the pool. Yeah, so they're like show girls in the 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.480 pool and I'm at the top of the fence like 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:46.120 like I've got like two weeks left to lose my 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:50.560 virginity and I. I was nervous about like breaking my 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:52.360 leg or whatever, but I was like, hey, yarden, like 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:54.080 I was stalling, and then finally I was like, Okay, 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:58.720 I'm just gonna jump. And then I jumped. Guys, the 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:03.360 ground didn't come. My giant skirt hooked on like the topic. 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:08.280 It was like hanging like a huge circles skirt like 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:11.959 hanging by my waistband up in the air. And then 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:14.080 he had to like I couldn't even get I couldn't 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:16.640 touch the ground, so I couldn't like get myself up 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.560 and off, and that he had to like lift me up, 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:21.760 get me off of the fence. He did eventually remove 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:24.360 my virginity. It didn't happen that night, But I just 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:27.520 want anybody out there to know you can recover. You 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:30.440 can glow up in adulthood. You can pick people that 0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:34.360 are not um, that are not mom yellers, you can 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.760 pick people that are not like fix or uppers. There's 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.480 hope for you if you have a broken picker, because 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:43.640 I certainly did. I gotta say it to uh as 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:46.720 far as like the disrespecting their mother or parents. I've 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.640 even gone as far as excommunicating my friends that are 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.320 clearly and blatantly disrespectful to their parents. Like back from 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:54.680 when I was younger, I always saw, well not always, 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:55.760 but I had a couple of friends who are like, 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:57.760 really mean to their moms all the time, and I'm like, dude, 0:14:57.800 --> 0:14:59.400 you should probably be nice to her. And ever since then, 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:01.760 I've kind of x communicated them from being friends with 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:03.560 them because it is it's like a it's a telltale 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:05.520 sign that maybe they're just not the best people at 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:07.280 the end of the day. Um, but Arden, we are 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:10.000 gonna move on. We have some fetishes that we want 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:13.080 to talk with you about, and they're gonna be weird, 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:14.560 but we want to get your take on it because 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:15.960 you always got the hot takes that we love to 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.280 see so much. But we're gonna take one quick break 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:21.080 and then we're gonna jump right back into the fetishes 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:33.200 with Arden. Welcome back to help I suck at dating. 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:36.400 We got Arden, we got Dean, we got me, we 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.800 got fetishes. So we're gonna talk about some strange fetishes 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:41.920 and get everybody's perspective on it. Well, first of all, 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:46.880 let's let's talk about does anybody have a strange fetish? Here? Arden? 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:50.240 There's no way you don't have one. I mean still, 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:52.680 let me ask you this as a Rhode Islander. Because 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:54.520 you grew up in the same school system that I 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.120 grew up in. Do you feel would you feel free 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:59.840 enough to even admit it if you did? Now? Yes? 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:04.240 Five years ago? No way? Okay, what is it? Just 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.960 did Ashley? Was that a game changer? Um? No? I 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.520 think honestly just being on the show and being more 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.600 vulnerable and opening up and realizing like it's not weird 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:17.640 to talk about fetishes. I mean certain fetishes, sure, but 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:21.160 like I mean, I'm always down for like, uh, you know, 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:25.560 some handcuffs, you know, graints, you know you can't go 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:28.200 wrong there. I would agree with that. I think I 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:31.400 feel like every game. I mean, I'll speak for myself. 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:34.920 I you know, if it's a person that you're excited about, 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.120 I'm not mad about like some fun throwing around the bedroom, 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:40.520 I'm not. I'm not mad at a little like a 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.400 little tie me up, a little spank, andy spank. I'm 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:46.120 not angry at that. I don't mind. I don't mind. 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.440 I'm not mad at a cute little outfit, you know, 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:53.320 like it should be fun. My first my first chapter 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:54.960 is talk about how was a child, my dream was 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:57.320 to be a stripper, so I'm like, like, nobody could 0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:59.480 stop me from stripping. I was like, you know, it 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:02.080 wasn't dark. It was more like a burlesque girl. But yeah, 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.160 I think there's something fun about like having a cute 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:08.959 little outfit and whatnot, like rouge absolutely rouge La la 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:15.399 movie in my youth, Dean any like fetishes, I was 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.800 trying to think, I don't really think I have any. 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.000 The only thing that I could really think of that 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.800 even is on the spectrum of a fetish I would 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.479 say is fish nets, And it's not even a fetish. 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:26.920 I just think I just think fish nets are really 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:31.080 I think those are a little bit of I don't 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:33.679 like fetishize them. I just think that they're sexy, you 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:38.439 know what I mean? Probably do you guys are you 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:40.720 lingerie guys? Like, do you have a certain kind of 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:42.719 lingerie that you like? Like do you like are you 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:44.880 like I like only black lingerie or you're like, I'm 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:48.359 game for any of it, I mean black laundree. I 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:50.840 just something about maybe this is where the fish net 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:54.760 quote unquote fetish comes from. Something about a thing that 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:57.639 starts on the feet and goes above the knee, Like 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:00.439 if a girl wears boots that go all the way 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.440 up above the knee, like halfway up to the quad 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:04.080 or something. I think it's like the one of the 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:05.879 thigh high I think it's one of the sexiest things 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:08.159 that girl can do. So anything, you know, like sometimes 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:11.639 there's those lauingderie that like buckles to the garner the 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.880 gar Yeah, that stuff, that's stuff. I'm getting a little 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:18.639 hot and bothered. I can see that that van is 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:23.800 all steaming up out there somewhere. I couldn't I couldn't 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:27.320 agree more with the thigh highs are so sexy. I 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:30.880 think that's why I like burlesque Mulan Rouge, because they 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:34.080 all wear thigh highs, and that is a big turn on, 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:36.439 I think for a lot of guys. I mean to 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:39.639 me as like, so, you know, little Compton, which is 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:42.280 the town that I'm from, we didn't we didn't get cable, 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:46.679 like literally, there was just it was three stations until 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:50.119 like two thousand five or something. So I would just 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:52.560 they would play these old movies and I would see. 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:55.239 My dream was to be like a cigarette girl at 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.879 the Rainbow Room, like a nineties I wanted to like 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.040 a little hot pants and like a little like like 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:03.879 sequin and like a little feather thing. I was like what, 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:06.760 because in Rhode Island everybody just wears like turtleneck and wool. 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:08.560 I was like, why would you wear that when you 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:10.879 can wear nothing and glitter like that? Just something like 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.280