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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonnas is Sam your og Okay storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up, but before that,

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Speaker 2: we have a quick two minute break from the sponsors

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Speaker 2: that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: I fell in love with my late best friend's husband,

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Speaker 3: but my friend can't accept it.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I can accept it either. You don't

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Speaker 2: do that too many adjectives of this. Don't date your

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Speaker 2: late best friend's husband.

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Speaker 4: You would want it?

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Speaker 2: Do?

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Speaker 4: Do that? Do you want one for both of you?

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Speaker 2: Hello? Everyone?

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Speaker 3: English is not my native language, so I apologize in

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Speaker 3: advance for any mistakes I may make. I thirty two

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Speaker 3: female fell in love with my late best friend's husband.

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Speaker 3: Thirty six. Smell this summer. It sounds like terrible. It

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Speaker 3: sounds terrible, but please let me explain. But first the

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Speaker 3: little backstory, and yes, prepare yourself to stay here.

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Speaker 2: For a while. Here, I am baby Preeze.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from intelligent Chain eighty seven

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Speaker 3: on the r slash okay story tom subreddit. So, my

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Speaker 3: late best friend, let's call her Amber, and I had

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Speaker 3: known each other since elementary school. When I moved to

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Speaker 3: middle school, I met another friend, let's call her Ursula.

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Speaker 3: Ursula and Amber were already best friends by the time

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Speaker 3: I met Ursula, so I became the third in the group.

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Speaker 3: Two years before the end of high school, Ursula moved

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Speaker 3: to another city, which brought Amber and me even closer.

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Speaker 5: Did she move under the sea? Booh, she's gonna be

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Speaker 5: the villain, right, that's got to be the villain.

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Speaker 2: That's a bad guy. Yes, yes, that's the name. Come on.

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Speaker 3: We witnessed the beginnings of our relationships with their future husbands.

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Speaker 3: Both of us started dating our future husbands around the

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Speaker 3: same year, and both were in long distance relationships. My husband,

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Speaker 3: then boyfriend, let's call him Adam, was studying in another city,

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Speaker 3: and her husband, then boyfriend let's call him Thomas, was

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Speaker 3: studying in another country. We supported each other even through

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Speaker 3: our own friendships. Was also long distance since we were

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Speaker 3: studying in different countries. I was in our home country

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Speaker 3: and she was in a neighboring one. I lost touch

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Speaker 3: with Ursula for a while, but after we graduated from university,

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Speaker 3: the three of us were together again in our hometown

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Speaker 3: along with our then boyfriends later husband's ursula husband let's

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Speaker 3: call him Patrick, also dated her since school. Right after graduating,

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Speaker 3: Thomas proposed to Amber, and a few months later Patrick

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Speaker 3: and Ursula got engaged, and a half a year later,

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Speaker 3: Adam proposed to me, and we all celebrated our weddings

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Speaker 3: the same year. Everyone was happy.

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Speaker 2: And is this right out of high school or right

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Speaker 2: out of college?

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Speaker 4: Out of college?

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Speaker 2: It looks like college.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, ain't that just the way?

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Speaker 2: I wonder who he's getting married?

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Speaker 4: And they lived happily ever after and nothing else happened

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Speaker 4: the end.

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Speaker 2: Chad, who's getting married? NXE? Out of the and why

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Speaker 2: is it?

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Speaker 4: What?

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Speaker 2: What you got some with your sleep dog?

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Speaker 4: Yep, Hea, he's gonna call Russia.

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Speaker 2: Nothing at my sleeve.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna You're gonna get something meld here, just fall

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Speaker 3: right out of the sky from FedEx.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Two years later, and Ber and Thomas decided to move

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Speaker 3: to another country, and that same year, Adam and I

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Speaker 3: moved to another city, while Ursula and Patrick stayed in

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Speaker 3: our hometown and had a beautiful child. For context, our

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Speaker 3: husbands weren't best friends and didn't really hang out outside

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Speaker 3: of our group meetings, but they could have fun when

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Speaker 3: we were all together. Given that, it's important to understand

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Speaker 3: that when we all moved to different places, our communication

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Speaker 3: was long distance. Again, our husbands saw each other about

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Speaker 3: once a year, just like we did, since it's hard

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Speaker 3: for married couples to gather. I was more friends with

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Speaker 3: Patrick than with Thomas because when Amber and Thomas moved

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Speaker 3: abroad and we had yet moved to another city, I

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Speaker 3: would often visit Ursula and Patrick at their home. Thomas

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Speaker 3: and I had plenty to talk. We could laugh hardly

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Speaker 3: and congratulate each other on holidays, but we weren't particularly close. Okay,

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Speaker 3: who is Hope about to get with right now? She's

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Speaker 3: with Adam?

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Speaker 6: Is she gonna get with Thomas or options?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Patrick, I don't think it's gonna be with Patrick. I

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Speaker 5: think if she just.

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Speaker 3: Said Thomas Thomas and I, Yeah, but she would off

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Speaker 3: to visit Patrick.

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Speaker 5: But Ursula was like not really. I don't feel like

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Speaker 5: she was as tight with Ursula.

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Speaker 3: Y yeah, but no, No, who is she about she's

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Speaker 3: gonna leave her husband? Who's she gonna go with? Well,

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Speaker 3: it's just predicted.

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Speaker 5: I think there's no way Ursula and Patrick are perfect

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Speaker 5: for each other because they're both sea creatures vers a

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Speaker 5: little the octopus lady and then Patrick Starr.

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Speaker 3: But Ursula may die Now there's a friend that's gonna die.

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Speaker 2: It's either come on, this is it's not gonna happen.

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Speaker 2: What's gonna happen? I know, I tell you to. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: I just I just want to predict, and I want

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Speaker 3: people to be like, Hey, I voted for this and

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Speaker 3: I was right.

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Speaker 2: I'm voting Thomas.

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Speaker 3: Thomas, I am voting, well.

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Speaker 2: Thomas's why are you doubting Thomas? I'm not down. You

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Speaker 2: did whatever biblical reference.

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Speaker 3: Another two years later, I went through a very dark period.

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Speaker 3: My husband passed, I had a miscarriage from the stress,

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Speaker 3: and I almost lost my parents, though thankfully they're okay now.

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Speaker 3: The final blow came a few months later when we

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Speaker 3: were informed that Amber and hurt child passed during child birth.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, it was a true shock. Four terrible events

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Speaker 3: in a year, three of which devastated me so much

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Speaker 3: that I could barely function. The last time I saw

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Speaker 3: Thomas was at Amber's funeral. I don't remember much because

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Speaker 3: I was just existing, not living.

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Speaker 4: Ah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's a whole tsunami title wave of badness,

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Speaker 5: and it makes sense.

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Speaker 2: There's probably a rama bond A year.

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Speaker 3: After Amber's funeral, with the help of family and friends.

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Speaker 3: I finally decided to go to therapy because my parents

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Speaker 3: lived and constant fear that I would follow my husband

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Speaker 3: and friend. I loved my parents deeply and didn't want

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Speaker 3: to cause them pain, so I agreed to therapy. I

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Speaker 3: didn't believe it would help, but after another year, I

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Speaker 3: embarked on a solo journey to rediscover myself.

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Speaker 2: I made a little noise. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

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Speaker 2: I thought you were about to laugh. No, it wasn't

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Speaker 2: a laugh. I was That was my sinuses. I wasn't

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Speaker 2: a laugh. I'm not laughing right now. I'm not. Okay, okay, okay.

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Speaker 3: It's worth mentioning that when Amber and my husband were

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Speaker 3: still alive, Adam and I visited Amber and Thomas in

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Speaker 3: their country, where we met their local friends and became

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Speaker 3: close friends with them. Two of Amber's local friends, Elizabeth

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Speaker 3: and Sasha, supported me and Ursula after Amber's passing, and

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Speaker 3: I that out on my solo trip. I stayed with

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Speaker 3: them along the way. I didn't see Thomas at the time,

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Speaker 3: nor did I want to, as we would have just

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Speaker 3: reminded each other of the pain of loss. That's how

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Speaker 3: I started my new life. With travel, and we'rediscovering myself

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Speaker 3: in my new situation. I was still crying at night,

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Speaker 3: but I felt the pain slowly settling somewhere deep. Of course,

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Speaker 3: it will never go away completely, but I learned to

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Speaker 3: live with it, to live again, to be happy, to

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Speaker 3: have fun, to make friends, to love again. Another year later,

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Speaker 3: I dared to go on my first date. This is

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Speaker 3: after her three years after her husband passed, and after

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Speaker 3: another year, I started a relationship with a colleague let's

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Speaker 3: call him Neil. Unfortunately, our relationship wasn't as rosy as

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Speaker 3: it seemed. At first, I didn't notice the red flags,

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Speaker 3: but once I did, I broke it off immediately.

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Speaker 2: Let's go grow That's what we do when we see

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Speaker 2: red flags.

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Speaker 3: Yes, the relationship lasted for almost six months. This brings

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Speaker 3: us to June of this year, so about three and

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Speaker 3: a half years later after the passing, Elizabeth Amber's friend

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Speaker 3: from abroad suggested we take a tour through Italy. After

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Speaker 3: checking our schedules and finances, we booked the dates for

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Speaker 3: about a week at the end of July in the

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Speaker 3: beginning of August. A week later, she informed me that Sasha,

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Speaker 3: the other friend, and their husbands wanted to join us.

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Speaker 3: We were thrilled. The more the merrier. In early July,

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Speaker 3: a couple of weeks before the trip, I went back

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Speaker 3: to my hometown to visit my parents in relatives. That day,

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Speaker 3: I was walking to my grandmother's house and stopped by

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Speaker 3: the supermarket to pick up something for dessert. Imagine my

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Speaker 3: surprise when someone tapped me on the sole shoulder and

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Speaker 3: when I turned around, I saw Thomas smile. Yep, she

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Speaker 3: was looking for cake and he was too.

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Speaker 2: So enough time has gone by where maybe this what

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Speaker 2: I thought it would be.

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Speaker 3: Three and a half years, Opie has processed as much

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Speaker 3: as he could.

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Speaker 2: It still hurts her. She's in a way better place now.

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Speaker 2: A crazy set of circumstances though for real.

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Speaker 4: It's wild, but that's, you know, unfortunately, that's the sometimes

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Speaker 4: how the way life works. Yeah, and you just you

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Speaker 4: gotta roll with the punches and then you can't just

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Speaker 4: you can't be stationary like.

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Speaker 3: A little Uzivert says, life goes on.

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Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure best.

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Speaker 5: Okay, there's a lot more people who have said life

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Speaker 5: goes on.

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Speaker 2: He made a song about it.

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Speaker 4: There's another version of made a song about it.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I felt a whirlwind of emotions that were hard

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Speaker 3: to understand.

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Speaker 2: At first.

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Speaker 3: There was a joy from seeing him, pain from the

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Speaker 3: reminder of the past, and the awkwardness from the unexpected meeting.

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Speaker 3: At first, I didn't recognize him, just as he didn't

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Speaker 3: recognize me. As it turned out, later, we exchange bits

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Speaker 3: of information about our new lives, and I learned that

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Speaker 3: he was also physic I think his parents. It felt

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Speaker 3: like we were getting to know each other all over again.

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Speaker 3: I was in a hurry to get to my grandmother's,

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Speaker 3: so we quickly said our goodbyes, expressed how happy we

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Speaker 3: were to see each other, and went our separate ways.

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Speaker 3: I thought that would be the last time I saw him,

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Speaker 3: but a couple of hours later, he messages me saying

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Speaker 3: he was truly glad to see me and wouldn't mind

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Speaker 3: meeting up again, not just with me, but also with

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Speaker 3: Ursula and Patrick. As you can understand, after Amber's traggic death,

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Speaker 3: he cut ties with everyone close to her, even her parents,

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Speaker 3: except for friends from the country where they lived and

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Speaker 3: where he still lives.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, well that's fair. It makes sense.

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Speaker 5: It's like, I don't know if you could keep the

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Speaker 5: constant reminder.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know, and stay you know.

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Speaker 5: Saying that way, I think you'd want to kind of

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Speaker 5: be able to put yourself in a position to at some.

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Speaker 2: Point move on.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but then like also reconnecting with those is like

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Speaker 5: that whole weird tale of uh positive and negative peanner tail.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's wiener, Zel can't say that word. Do you

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Speaker 3: want us to get demonetized on all platforms?

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Speaker 2: No, there we go.

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Speaker 3: Ursula, like me, was surprised by Thomas's reappearance in our lives,

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Speaker 3: but we agreed to his proposal to meet the next day.

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Speaker 3: We gathered at Ursula and Patrick's house. I swear first

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Speaker 3: two hours of that meeting were painfully awkward and uncomfortable.

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Speaker 3: Arsen and I tried to keep the conversation going, but

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Speaker 3: the silence from Thomas was cutting through us, and after

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Speaker 3: two hours, once the booze had loosened Thomas's tongue, we

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Speaker 3: were slowly sipping wine. He finally opened up to us

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Speaker 3: and shared that he had come back to our hometown

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Speaker 3: for a reason.

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Speaker 5: No way, no way, he's not He's not about to.

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Speaker 2: I thought this was a.

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Speaker 3: Reason of like he's on a side quest that's why's here?

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Speaker 3: What's your reason?

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Speaker 2: Hey, he's is he about to be like it was

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Speaker 2: for you? I had to see you.

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Speaker 3: All these years he had just suppressed his pain, drowning

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Speaker 3: it in work, sports, video games, and then he started

242
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Speaker 3: partying and dating random women, barely seeing or talking to

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Speaker 3: his friends and family. I had heard something like that,

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Speaker 3: but never asked Elizabeth or Sasha for details. Earlier this year,

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Speaker 3: he accidentally came across my Instagram. He had deleted Instagram

246
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Speaker 3: right after the tragic events, and after restoring it, he

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Speaker 3: created a new account and saw that I was in

248
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Speaker 3: a happy or it seen from Instagram relationship. He immediately

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Speaker 3: felt inadequate, considering we had gone through similar tragedies, but

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Speaker 3: I had learned to live again, while he was just

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Speaker 3: burning through life, spending it mostly on work and random

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Speaker 3: women and booze his words. In a way, that was

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Speaker 3: his wake up call, and he realized he couldn't live

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Speaker 3: like that anymore. Thomas started therapy, resumed full communication with friends,

255
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Speaker 3: then with his sister and parents. So she kind of

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Speaker 3: like brought him out of this. We don't know the

257
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Speaker 3: reason why he's back though, we.

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Speaker 5: Still don't, but I guess that's good, a good influence.

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Speaker 5: Normally I say, don't compare yourself to others, but in

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Speaker 5: this one particular context, maybe it was a good wake

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Speaker 5: up call to be like, oh, maybe maybe I should

262
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Speaker 5: stop with the destructive behavioral loops, pretension or just like

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Speaker 5: real understanding that they are or have become destructive. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: sometimes things that serve us earlier in our life they

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Speaker 5: don't serve us later, And yet you have to recognize

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Speaker 5: that and put him down.

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Speaker 3: The hardest part was finally acknowledging and accepting his feelings

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Speaker 3: and emotions about the tragic loss of his beloved wife

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Speaker 3: and their newborn child. He spent weeks visiting places that

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Speaker 3: held special meeting to them and cried. Then he finally

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00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,599
Speaker 3: mustered up the courage to speak to and apologize to

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Speaker 3: a parent who had been like second parents to him.

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Speaker 3: That's the main reason he came back to her hometown

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Speaker 3: was to apologize to his mother in lawn Fall.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, which is good. Clear, that's good. I was

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Speaker 2: hoping it wasn't.

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Speaker 3: So he wasn't on a side quest. He was kind

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Speaker 3: of on the main quest. Okay, I guess, yeah, that's

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Speaker 3: the main quest.

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Speaker 5: I still I get it. I guess I'm just that guy.

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Speaker 5: It's like, I guess, actually, that does make a lot

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Speaker 5: of sense that I would think.

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Speaker 3: That also, do you think you could start a company

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Speaker 3: called side quest and then people can hire you to

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Speaker 3: be a like go to places around your city and

286
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Speaker 3: you can do side quests for people.

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Speaker 2: Cool that be? I think it needs to be a

288
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Speaker 2: main quest.

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00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,240
Speaker 3: I want to say, side quest, you're already doing main quests.

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00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,160
Speaker 3: You need a little side question.

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Speaker 2: It's like a time for a new main quest. How

292
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Speaker 2: about you do main quests. I'll do side quests. Okay, yeah, yeah,

293
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Speaker 2: the funnel. We're building the funnel right now.

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Speaker 3: I get people in with a side quest, and you

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00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,360
Speaker 3: get people able to main quests, and then we and you.

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Speaker 5: Charge them a one time fee for the side quest,

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Speaker 5: and we charge them a recurring fee for the main quest,

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Speaker 5: and when they get distracted by the side quest, there's

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Speaker 5: still paying for the main quest while they're doing the

300
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Speaker 5: side quest. Look at Okay, I know we didn't mean

301
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,480
Speaker 5: to do this, but we just taught you all in

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Speaker 5: economics lesson.

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Speaker 2: Okay, think about that, guys, we just became Okay, where

304
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,400
Speaker 2: do you want ke on? What do you want of this?

305
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:17,200
Speaker 3: Happiness, but unfortunately he still hadn't been able to visit them.

306
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Speaker 2: He had tried for two weeks, but each.

307
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Speaker 3: Time he turned back halfway, we all cried. After calming down,

308
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,600
Speaker 3: he said he had planned to visit Ursula and Patrick,

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Speaker 3: but didn't expect to see me. Even regretted suggesting the meeting,

310
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,920
Speaker 3: but was ultimately glad it happened. Ursula and I offered

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Speaker 3: to go with him to visit Amber's parents, as we

312
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,720
Speaker 3: used to visit them often. On the appointed day, Ursula

313
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,000
Speaker 3: couldn't make it because her youngest son fell ill, so

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Speaker 3: Thomas and I went alone. As soon as we walked

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Speaker 3: through the doors, tears filled Amber's mother's eyes and we

316
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,120
Speaker 3: and so did i ours. Her parents weren't angry at

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Speaker 3: all because they completely understood him. We sent a very

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Speaker 3: touching time together, crying and reminiscing about all the good

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00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:06,240
Speaker 3: memories with Amber, and laughing and crying again, and so

320
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:10,760
Speaker 3: on until midnight. After thanking Amber's parents and saying goodbye,

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Speaker 3: Thomas offered to walk me home. On the way to

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Speaker 3: my parents' house, we passed a tall building where teenagers

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Speaker 3: used to love hanging out on the roof. He said

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Speaker 3: he wanted to do something and needed my support one

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Speaker 3: last time.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean by that?

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Speaker 3: I agreed, and we went up to the roof. There

328
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 3: he pulled a letter out of his pocket. Turned out

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00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 3: to be a farewell letter to Amber. I couldn't hold

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00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,120
Speaker 3: back my tears as he spoke aloud to the sky,

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Speaker 3: the stars and her. After reading a letter to the end,

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00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 3: he burned it and scattered the ashes in the wind.

333
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:47,720
Speaker 3: We silently descended, and just as silently he walked me home,

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00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 3: or we said goodbye and went our separate ways. About

335
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,320
Speaker 3: a week later he wrote to me again. He thanked

336
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,680
Speaker 3: me for my help and said how proud he was

337
00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,480
Speaker 3: of me. I responded in kind, and then we stopped

338
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,840
Speaker 3: talking again for a few days. So I noticed that

339
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,400
Speaker 3: he had followed me back on Instagram. I followed him back.

340
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,119
Speaker 3: A few hours later he messaged me, is it true

341
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,560
Speaker 3: that you're going on a tour of Italy with my friends?

342
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,080
Speaker 3: Where was about the rows? Risen right now? But that

343
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,680
Speaker 3: was super cute, the whole letter and burning it into

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Speaker 3: the sky.

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00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,679
Speaker 5: I'm now back on the track that it's too weird

346
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,920
Speaker 5: to date this guy. There when he dictated the letter

347
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:29,439
Speaker 5: of his no longer with us, wife and then burnt it.

348
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,639
Speaker 5: And I get that that's like probably like letting go

349
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,800
Speaker 5: and finding closure, but also like, I don't know, sharing

350
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,680
Speaker 5: that moment and sharing the moment of like going back

351
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,040
Speaker 5: to Amber's parents and all that.

352
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:42,439
Speaker 2: I don't know, it would just feel too It's just

353
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,600
Speaker 2: too much. It's been pretty beautiful that they did this.

354
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 2: It is pretty intimate.

355
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Speaker 5: I don't know that's it just feels like intimate for

356
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 5: the wrong reasons. Well, it feels like wires are just

357
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:53,960
Speaker 5: getting crossed.

358
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Speaker 3: Noodles are touching. I replied that, yes, I am going

359
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,399
Speaker 3: on a trip to Italy with your friends. He simply

360
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 3: wished those a good trip. Since there was less than

361
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,920
Speaker 3: a week left before the tour, we continued to chat

362
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,160
Speaker 3: about various topics, and I started feeling like I used

363
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,400
Speaker 3: to a long time ago when we laughed together over

364
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,919
Speaker 3: trivial thanks. A couple of days before the vacation, we

365
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,280
Speaker 3: had our first call and talked almost all night. As

366
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,800
Speaker 3: I mentioned before, it felt like we were getting to

367
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,440
Speaker 3: know each other all over again. And then the vacation

368
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 3: date comes. The whole group met Inlaane.

369
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Speaker 6: Milan, Milan, and we drove to Naples. To our great surprise,

370
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:40,200
Speaker 6: Thomas meets us there, Okay, quick, poul real quick one

371
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Speaker 6: creepy too sweet.

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00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 5: Well creepier, Like, I don't want to influence the opinion,

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00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:47,840
Speaker 5: but I'm gonna do it anyway because I'm gonna say

374
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 5: what I think. I think if it was just her

375
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 5: on the trip, creepy, I think because it's there's like

376
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 5: more people there and there's more friends, less creepy. And

377
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,119
Speaker 5: also I did see the context that comes in like

378
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 5: the next sentence and half, so it's not quite as creepy.

379
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:02,880
Speaker 2: I don't know.

380
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 5: I just think there's so much tied up in their

381
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 5: previous partners that them being together might just feel like

382
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 5: an extension of these partners who are no longer with us,

383
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 5: and I don't think that's a good base to build

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Speaker 5: a relationship off.

385
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 2: Okay, it just feels too like just too much. I

386
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:29,719
Speaker 2: don't know, But hey, this is it's it's touching, but like,

387
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know.

388
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,959
Speaker 3: It does feel a little bit too intimate. I don't know,

389
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 3: like I don't need to see that. We'll see, we'll

390
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,640
Speaker 3: see what happens. But everyone says it's sweet. Seventy nine

391
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,440
Speaker 3: percent people saying this is sweet. His uncle lived in

392
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 3: Naples and had coldly offered us his house for a

393
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 3: few days. All right, okay, well see, well that's cool,

394
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,199
Speaker 3: right now, that's cool. Whether it was the magic of

395
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,360
Speaker 3: Italy or just the comfort we felt around each other,

396
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 3: or just the comfort we felt around each other, Thomas

397
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 3: and I spent all those days together, talking, drinking and laughing.

398
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,199
Speaker 3: We had three amazing days in Naples, followed by a

399
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,160
Speaker 3: day trip to Sicily, and then four days in Florence.

400
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 3: It was in Florence where something happened that has been

401
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 3: haunting my consciousness. The married couples in our group grew

402
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 3: tired of sightseeing by the third evening in the city,

403
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 3: but Thomains and I still wanted to explore. We went

404
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,120
Speaker 3: out for a walk near our hotel. After two hours,

405
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 3: we grew tired and sat on a bench overlooking the

406
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 3: Arnault River. This was the first time during the trip

407
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 3: that we had been alone together. The atmosphere of the

408
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 3: evening led to a more intimate conversation. We shared our

409
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,360
Speaker 3: fears about relationships and talked about how our future partners

410
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,120
Speaker 3: might never fully understand that we would always love Amber

411
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 3: and Adam. They had been the loves of our lives

412
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 3: and there would always be a place for them in

413
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 3: our hearts. It's difficult to explain when I think people

414
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 3: who have experienced deep loss might understand. That night, I

415
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,920
Speaker 3: realized for the first time that I no longer saw

416
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,360
Speaker 3: Thomas as Amber's husband. He was simply himself, a man

417
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 3: I had found myself attracted to. Horrified by my own thoughts,

418
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 3: I bert I abruptly stood up, eager to return to

419
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 3: the hotel. Thomas wasn't ready to leave and persuaded me

420
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 3: to stay a bit longer, saying how much he loved

421
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,199
Speaker 3: the evening and wanted to savor it. I agreed, and

422
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 3: we sat in silence for ten more minutes before he

423
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:34,360
Speaker 3: began speaking again. He started by saying I didn't owe

424
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 3: him anything and just needed to listen.

425
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 2: I tensed.

426
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 3: Thomas confessed that he had fallen in love with me.

427
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 1: This is.

428
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 2: Too much.

429
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 5: You just type this down, just talk for two hours

430
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 5: about you'll always love.

431
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 2: Your previous partners.

432
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 4: This is like you're like, no.

433
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 3: No, no, It's like they'll always have a spot in

434
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: our heart. And it makes sense because Oh and Thomas

435
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 3: are in the same boat about this, and they both

436
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 3: agree on this perspective.

437
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think this is.

438
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 4: Oh, would you rather have your partner like I pass away?

439
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 4: Would you rather have your partner go on with some

440
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 4: stranger or someone you trust?

441
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 5: Mmmmm.

442
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 2: I don't think it's even about that.

443
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 5: It's not about but it's not about what the previous

444
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 5: partner would want. It's about where they're at right now

445
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 5: and how their previous relationships are kind of influencing the

446
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,879
Speaker 5: way that they're feeling about each other right now.

447
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 4: Because they're people, they're not their relationship.

448
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 2: I know they're people, but it's like, I don't know.

449
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 5: It just feels like out of all the people on

450
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 5: the face of the planet, it's like, this is the

451
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 5: next person.

452
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 2: Well, this is the next person.

453
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 3: And I think they share a lot of similar experiences,

454
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 3: one as friends and then two as losing love vers

455
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 3: and children.

456
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 5: They're bonding off over grief, They're bonding over trauma that

457
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 5: they've shared and that they both have intimate knowledge of.

458
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 2: I just don't know if it's gonna be healthy. I

459
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 2: don't know.

460
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 3: People want to change their vote. This is too soon.

461
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 3: It's been three and a half years.

462
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 5: Still but three years, but like way too close to

463
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 5: the situation.

464
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 2: What were you three years ago New Mexico.

465
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 3: I was in Gonnesseee getting over a bird. Okay, I'm

466
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 3: just saying people change in three years. Like I was

467
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,679
Speaker 3: super unhappy where I was three years ago, and now

468
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 3: I'm like thriving. That's what I'm saying, right, But yeah, no,

469
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 3: neither of us can have any glimpse or like any

470
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 3: you know thing this, But it's just saying people change

471
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 3: in three years, and they put a lot of work

472
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 3: into themselves.

473
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 4: And maybe within those three years they felt alone or

474
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 4: like they're grieving, and then seeing their friend is like

475
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 4: a familiar place. I don't know, like kind of like this,

476
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,640
Speaker 4: it's a comfort. It's a comfort. It's a certain comfort

477
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 4: that you like. It's also a trauma bond, but I

478
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 4: think it's a certain comfort. They're like in a way nostalgic,

479
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 4: not really, but kind of.

480
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 3: But I think we should keep going. He said that

481
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 3: during the trip he realized we could try to have

482
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,120
Speaker 3: a relationship because being with me felt as natural as breathing.

483
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:12,199
Speaker 3: He acknowledged how complicated the situation was, but felt that

484
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 3: we both deserved to be happy. He believed I felt

485
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 3: the same way, which gave him the courage to confess.

486
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 2: I was speechless.

487
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 3: I liked him too, and I couldn't deny it. The

488
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 3: complexity of the situation and my own consciousness for eating

489
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 3: me alive. I told him that once we parted ways,

490
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 3: these feelings would fade and we would forget about them.

491
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 3: That was all just the magic of Italy, and that

492
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,719
Speaker 3: it would be better not to make any mistakes. I

493
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 3: saw the disappointment in his eyes, but he simply agreed

494
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 3: and suggested we returned to the hotel. Our rooms were

495
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 3: nearly adjacent. Oh no, and we parted in silence. I

496
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 3: couldn't sleep that night.

497
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 4: Oh this is so cliche. It's gonna be so cliched.

498
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 3: Around two in the morning, I went to the hotel

499
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 3: courtyard for fresh air. Do my Thomas had the same idea,

500
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 3: and we met in the hallway.

501
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 4: Oh creepy, that was planned.

502
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 3: I wanted to go back to my room, but he asked,

503
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:13,159
Speaker 3: let's talk. Understanding the need to address the situation, I agreed.

504
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 3: He sat down in the courtyard and he asked why

505
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 3: I was afraid to admit my feelings. I told him

506
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,919
Speaker 3: I feared being judged by others, our friends, family, and

507
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 3: especially Amber's parents because I was her best friend. It

508
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 3: felt wrong, primarily in relation to her memory to Thomas.

509
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 3: Then asked if I would be afraid if we were

510
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 3: just two strangers who fell in love. I realized that

511
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be that all. My fear came from the

512
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 3: judgment of others and my own guilt. However, we weren't strangers.

513
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 3: We had shared a history that couldn't be ignored. He

514
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 3: asked for just one chance for those feelings, saying that

515
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 3: fate seemed to be bringing us together. He promised we

516
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 3: wouldn't tell anyone until we were certain of our relationship.

517
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 3: Inside shame and affection for Thomas battles. But that night, oh, no,

518
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 3: affection one oh oh, and we kissed.

519
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 2: Oh.

520
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure they did more than.

521
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 3: And in that moment, the kess felt like the most

522
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 3: necessary thing in the world.

523
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 5: It's all too much, man, I don't know it'd be

524
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 5: too much for me. I mean, this is this is

525
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 5: it's cute, it's a movie, YadA, YadA, YadA. But like,

526
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 5: if you strip all that away, I feel like this

527
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,640
Speaker 5: is being set up for like but a really bad.

528
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 2: Tap.

529
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 4: Sometimes life isn't a movie exactly like a fairy tale,

530
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 4: and I feel like this is like so fairy tale

531
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 4: google boo boo, yeah, a little bit.

532
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 3: You know, a little bat ninety has a good comment here.

533
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 3: I feel divided by the story. One side, I feel

534
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 3: and get the comfort side, but the other I really

535
00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:00,239
Speaker 3: feel like it's too soon for one him to say that,

536
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 3: but two he needs to properly process his grief before.

537
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 5: I mean, it's been like three and a half years,

538
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 5: but that's not necessarily like it takes a long time

539
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 5: to some for some people process that.

540
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 2: And I feel like if you had processed your grief,

541
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 2: I feel like.

542
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 5: You wouldn't pursue a relationship with like your late best

543
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 5: friend's partner. Like also on Thomas's side, like it was

544
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 5: his friend who was married to op and Ope's friend

545
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,920
Speaker 5: Amber who was married to Thomas.

546
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 2: They're both I'm they're both in the.

547
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 5: Same but like, I don't know, I feel like if

548
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 5: you had fully processed that, you'd be like, this can't happen.

549
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 2: It feels too wrong.

550
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 4: I'm kind of with the tomud on this one. I

551
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 4: think this is so like the way it's written, it

552
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 4: just seems so fairy tale esque in a way.

553
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 2: It's a novel.

554
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,879
Speaker 4: It could be it sounds about the novel, but I

555
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 4: could be wrong. I want to be wrong. There's plenty

556
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 4: of crazy stories that are realed, like this could be

557
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 4: so real, and I feel like this does happen more

558
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 4: than you think. It's just this the way this is

559
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,959
Speaker 4: written in the time frame, it's like I get it,

560
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 4: but it's too soon.

561
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 2: It is in a way process like it's.

562
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 5: Reading a little sterily because it's like there's some ways

563
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 5: where it's like, you.

564
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 2: Know, it's like it was eating me alive inside. It's

565
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 2: like the fact that he said, how would you really feel?

566
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 2: I feel like a real person would be.

567
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 4: Like said he said Fate. He's like, oh, this is

568
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 4: what Fate wants.

569
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 2: And I feel it's like fates. I mean, is fate

570
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 2: that your uncle had a house in Naples?

571
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 4: Is it fate that you showed up there without telling anyone?

572
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 3: Is it faith that you walked out of the door

573
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 3: at the same time she didn't, Well, fate that you

574
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 3: probably waited for her to walk out, or.

575
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 4: What a coinketting. There's a way too many coincidences here

576
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 4: that's happening.

577
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 3: I feel like he's like, ever since he saw her

578
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 3: on that Instagram one night, he was like oh, I

579
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 3: forgot about ope.

580
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 4: Too many quinketings.

581
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 3: Anyways, they kissed, but I stopped us and returned to

582
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 3: my room, saying I couldn't do this. The next day,

583
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 3: Thomas said work was calling him back, and he left.

584
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 3: I spent the rest of the vacation with the group

585
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 3: as planned, but a few days before the trip ended,

586
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 3: I could find it in Elizabeth and Sasha. They weren't

587
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 3: surprised by our feelings and said we made a great match.

588
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 3: They encouraged me to choose happiness for myself and for Thomas,

589
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 3: saying we both deserved it after everything we've been through.

590
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 3: Their words smoothed my consciousness somewhat. However, everything changed when

591
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 3: I shared the story with Ursula. She accused me of

592
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 3: betraying Amber and her parents and said I was going

593
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 3: to ruin everything over fleeting infatuation. Her words cut deep,

594
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 3: and now I'm unsure what to do. Interfection for Thomas

595
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 3: is not fleeting, and I know his feelings for me

596
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 3: are genuine, but I can't deny that many people would

597
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 3: view our feelings wrong. Even I doubt whether pursuing a

598
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 3: relationship with him is worth it, or if I should

599
00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 3: prioritize my own happiness.

600
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: I don't.

601
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 5: I think ruining everything is probably a bit of a

602
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 5: stretch there, Yeah, but it's more it's more about is

603
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 5: this relationship healthy for you and Thomas forget everybody else. Yeah,

604
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 5: it's how is this going to work for you guys

605
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 5: long term?

606
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 2: Potentially? Yeah?

607
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, I don't know. And I didn't fully process anything.

608
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 4: If you're with your do you think it's like the tabooing,

609
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 4: Like it's like, oh, it's like a cat kind of thing.

610
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 4: It's like, is this so like it's not like an

611
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 4: affair or anything, but it's like, is this is like

612
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 4: this is wrong but it's so right, you know kind

613
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 4: of thing.

614
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 3: Probably, Yeah, And I didn't like the part where he, oh,

615
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 3: I have my jobs calling me. You have to leave

616
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 3: the day after you didn't get the conversation you wanted.

617
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 3: If everything went smooth and he got what he wanted

618
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 3: out of it, he would have stayed.

619
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 2: Probably, Like who knows if the job call was real.

620
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 5: It's like it just yeah, there's a lot going on

621
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 5: here that my eyebrows go, hmmm. It would be so

622
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 5: nice if it could work, though, right, it would be

623
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 5: nice if it could work. If ten years had gone

624
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 5: by maybe i'd say, Okay, we're at a full reset

625
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 5: here three and a half. I don't know about that,

626
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 5: given all the context. I don't know about that because

627
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 5: it's so tragic.

628
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 2: I don't know.

629
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 3: Thomas and I haven't spoken since I know he's likely

630
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 3: hurt and offended by my hesitation, but I don't want

631
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 3: to get involved with him until I'm absolutely certain about

632
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 3: my decision. We've already talked about it. Here's a freaking update.

633
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 3: I'm not sure how to make an up to year Okay,

634
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 3: technicolologically advanced? Uh, technologically what did I say earlier? Technologically

635
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 3: technologically challenged? Technology challenge for a new word.

636
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 7: Hey it's Sam, I'm your OGI host here, bring it

637
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 7: back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from

638
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 7: our sponsor updates.

639
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 3: For the past two weeks, I have been in my hometown,

640
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 3: mainly because of my goddaughter who started school this year

641
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 3: and I just had to be there for her first day.

642
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 3: At the beginning of the week, I had a conversation

643
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 3: with my cousin, my godmother's mom, and she asked me

644
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 3: about my trip to Italy. During the conversation, I mentioned

645
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 3: Thomas a few times because he was there too. It's

646
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,719
Speaker 3: important to note that my cousin has a good sense

647
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 3: or intuition about relationships. Back when Adam and I were

648
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 3: just friends, she told me that I should pay attention

649
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 3: to him, as he was a wonderful person and I

650
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 3: would be a g and would be a great husband

651
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 3: in the future. As you know, she wasn't wrong, and

652
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 3: Adam truly was a wonderful husband had a great personality.

653
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 3: She has made similar predictions for others close to her,

654
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 3: and she's always been right. So her next words caught

655
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 3: me off guard. My cousin, who doesn't know about the

656
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 3: situation between me and Thomas, said that we looked like

657
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 3: a couple in love in the photos she meant the

658
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 3: ones I posted in my Instagram stories, and that maybe

659
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 3: I should consider him because we had similar we had

660
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 3: a similar story, and we would make a great couple.

661
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 3: When she finished speaking, I just let out a nervous

662
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 3: laugh and said nothing. She was distracted by her older

663
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 3: daughter and we didn't return to the conversation, but her

664
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 3: words stuck with me. I realized I couldn't keep dragging

665
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 3: the situation out and I had to make a decision.

666
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 3: First of all, I talked to my parents. My mom

667
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 3: was neutral about the situation, saying it was up to

668
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 3: me to decide. My dad and I had a longer conversation.

669
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 3: In the end, he, like many of you in the comments,

670
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 3: advised me to talk to Amber's parents. Dad, like my mom,

671
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 3: leaves its up to me and Thomas to decide how

672
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 3: to proceed. Before my consciousness, I had to talk to

673
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 3: Amber's parents. Gathering my courage a few days ago, I

674
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 3: finally decided to visit Amber's parents. I felt like I

675
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 3: was acting strangely as about ten minutes after I arrived,

676
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 3: Amber's mom asked me what was bothering me so much?

677
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 3: I couldn't tell her everything at once, so I sat

678
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 3: in the bathroom for a minute while trying to calm down.

679
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 3: I still don't understand why I was so nervous. But

680
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:08,280
Speaker 3: after calming myself down, I told her everything.

681
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 2: Girl, I understand why you were nervous. So are you serious?

682
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 2: Don't understand why you were nervous. I'm about to take

683
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 2: your dad nowadice husband.

684
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 5: I'm in love with your late daughter's husband who was

685
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 5: my friend, and that we were here together and we

686
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 5: bonded over how like what Yeah, it would be weird.

687
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: That's weird. That's weird with your son in law.

688
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 3: Now, someone says Op is trying to knock yourself out

689
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 3: of it, or I don't know.

690
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 2: Anyways, Paul, should they get together?

691
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 6: No?

692
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:43,800
Speaker 2: Get together?

693
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 3: And I's wrapped up in it.

694
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 5: I think you should be able to be friends, and

695
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:51,359
Speaker 5: I think the way forward is clearly like having this

696
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 5: discussion and being like, look, we've got some complicated feelings. Yeah,

697
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 5: maybe maybe we could make this work. But honestly, it's.

698
00:34:58,160 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 2: Just so much.

699
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:04,239
Speaker 4: I think he goes slow, very slow, but I feel

700
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 4: like they're rushing into this.

701
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 5: There are billions of people on the face of the

702
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 5: planet who don't have these connections to you. Trauma is

703
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,240
Speaker 5: a deep bond, but it doesn't mean that you should

704
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 5: be dating this guy because just because you do have

705
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 5: feelings for him, and because he has feelings for you, you

706
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 5: have a lot of other factors and other feelings that

707
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 5: are probably feeding into that. And there's no way this

708
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 5: is clear cut and dry. Okay, it's just too much,

709
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,399
Speaker 5: all right, that's what he said.

710
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 2: That's my position. I don't know. But people have free will,

711
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 2: they can do whatever they want to be. Let me

712
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 2: be clear.

713
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,360
Speaker 5: I think that they are perfectly in the right to

714
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 5: be together. My take is that I don't think it's

715
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 5: going to be a good relationship for them. I think

716
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 5: it's going to deteriorate and it's going to end real bad.

717
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 5: And then instead of being able to maintain this connection

718
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 5: in a friendship with this guy, now it's gone forever.

719
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I don't know. It just doesn't feel like

720
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 2: it's going to work.

721
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 3: I think maybe Thomas is doing some whack things Loki.

722
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 3: He's not seeing like an all stand up guy. There's

723
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 3: some manipulative things he might be doing there. But other

724
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 3: than that, I think this could work out. Imagine my

725
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 3: surprise when Amber's mom said that Thomas had come to

726
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 3: see them the day before for the same reason for

727
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 3: the second time that week.

728
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 2: I was speechless.

729
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,399
Speaker 3: He just took my hands and said she wished us

730
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:23,479
Speaker 3: nothing but happiness, as Amber would have wanted the same

731
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 3: for us, and as Adam would too. She said that

732
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 3: Ursula and I had always been like daughters to her,

733
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 3: and our well being would be would always be important

734
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 3: to her as Ambers was. Once I started crying. After

735
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 3: calming down, I thanked her for her kind words and

736
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 3: told her she had been like a second Mom to me.

737
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 3: We had some tea, bunked and I went home.

738
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 2: On the way.

739
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 3: I wanted to call or text Tom, but decided to

740
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,919
Speaker 3: leave it for the next day, when my head would

741
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 3: be clearer. But the week continued to surprise me. I

742
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,399
Speaker 3: found Tom in the living room of my parents' house,

743
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:04,400
Speaker 3: looking through my childhood photos with my dad. My dad

744
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 3: was telling him when and where the pictures had been taken.

745
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 3: I would have thought I was in a movie if

746
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 3: I hadn't been standing in the doorway watching the scene

747
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 3: unfold with my own eyes. Too many events for just

748
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 3: a few days, don't you think?

749
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 2: Yes? I think I know.

750
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,920
Speaker 3: They saw me walk in, but they didn't pay attention

751
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 3: to me for a few more minutes. Then my daddy

752
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 3: got up from the couch, greeted me and said he

753
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 3: needed to help Mom with the groceries, put on his coat,

754
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 3: and left the house, leaving me alone with Tom. I

755
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 3: stood there in shock. Tom spoke first, without getting up

756
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 3: from the couch. He greeted me and asked how my

757
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 3: visit to Amber's parents had gone. How did he know that?

758
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 3: I kept silent and stared at him. He got up,

759
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,800
Speaker 3: poured me a glass of water, and told me to drink.

760
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 3: I down the whole glass. Still didn't speak. I just

761
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 3: walked into the living room, saund on the couch. Tom

762
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,320
Speaker 3: understood I wasn't ready to talk, so he started first,

763
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 3: saying that he had been upset with me for a

764
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 3: long time, but about two weeks ago he'd realized he

765
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 3: had to do everything he could to resolve the situation.

766
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 3: It was important for him to understand if I had

767
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 3: rejected him because I didn't have feelings for him, or

768
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 3: because of other people's prejudices. He made sure that no

769
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 3: one except Ursula was against our relationship. It turned out

770
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 3: that he had also spoken to Ursula and she had

771
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 3: told him everything she had told me. He wasn't pleased

772
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 3: with what she said, but despite that, he decided to

773
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:38,280
Speaker 3: come to see me. Since I was at Amber's parents' house,

774
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 3: my parents greeted him. He talked to my dad about

775
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 3: the situation, but didn't ask for his permission to be

776
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 3: with me, because, as he said, only I could decide that.

777
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 3: In the end, he said that if I didn't have

778
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,479
Speaker 3: feelings for him, he would understand and would never bother

779
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 3: me again, but if I wanted to be with him,

780
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 3: he would do everything to make sure no one's that

781
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: a word against us. I silently listened and thought about

782
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 3: every word he said. He turned out to be so

783
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 3: much braver than me in the end. Yes, I had

784
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 3: come back to life before he did, but he was

785
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 3: ready to be happy here and now. Well, I seem

786
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 3: to be looking for an excuse to push them away,

787
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 3: afraid to finally find happiness.

788
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, pause it.

789
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 5: There's no way that they just used come back to

790
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 5: life in quotes to describe them coming back together after

791
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 5: their partners passed away.

792
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 4: This is that's a real wild taste. Brother, Also dude like.

793
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 5: Being like, oh, make sure nobody says anything bad about

794
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,280
Speaker 5: our religion. It's like you can't control that. You're already

795
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 5: operating from the wrong perspective. You just have to be

796
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 5: okay with each other. You're gonna have to block out

797
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 5: the outside noise. People are gonna either accept that you're

798
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 5: in a relationship they're not. Again, this is just not

799
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 5: This isn't about them. It's about you, both of you,

800
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 5: and it's clearly I don't know. It's like a bullhorn

801
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,720
Speaker 5: in my ear screaming at me that this won't work.

802
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, people were saying AI vidicus, find someone nudicus. Huh.

803
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 2: That was my spell that I cast with the word

804
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 2: find someone knew and e w okay okay.

805
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 3: But it wasn't just my trauma from losing Adam that

806
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 3: haunted me. There was also something more trivial and even funny.

807
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 3: But still it came up during my therapy session when

808
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 3: my therapist asked me to set aside the fear of

809
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 3: others with approvals and think about their things that scared me.

810
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 3: About the potential relationship with Tom, I of course said

811
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 3: I was afraid of losing him like I lost Adam.

812
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 3: Would we discuss that fear? I realized there was another one,

813
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 3: a rather silly one looking back at it now, but

814
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 3: it was inside me, so I needed to address it.

815
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 3: Amber was a tall blonde with a model like European

816
00:40:56,560 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 3: of appearance five ten. She was very beautif and a

817
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 3: striking girl. Many boys in our school were in love

818
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 3: with her. But Amber wasn't the only one. Most of

819
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 3: all Thomas's ex girlfriends that I knew of all had

820
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 3: a similar type. And then there was me, a brunette

821
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 3: with Asian features five six with an average figure. I

822
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:22,280
Speaker 3: didn't fit Thomas's type at all. Yes, you might say

823
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:25,839
Speaker 3: that it's silly to compare myself like that, because if

824
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:30,840
Speaker 3: someone truly loves you, looks become secondary. And I agree

825
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 3: with you, but I think many people can understand that

826
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 3: no matter how hard we fight, our insecurities, they hit

827
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 3: the hardest in our most vulnerable moments. But I couldn't

828
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 3: allow myself to be stuck in my negative thoughts, and

829
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 3: since Thomas was there, it was time to discuss everything.

830
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 3: Gathering my courage, I spoke up. I told him about

831
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 3: my fears and my concerns. He listened attentively and didn't laugh.

832
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 3: When I mentioned the comparison to his exes. Thomas said

833
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 3: he was also afraid of losing me, but he he

834
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 3: couldn't live in that fear anymore, and he wanted to

835
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 3: live fully and if I allow it, he wanted to

836
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 3: live with me and love me. But it was important

837
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 3: to him that I love him too. Of course, it's

838
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:15,280
Speaker 3: too early to talk about our deep love in our situation,

839
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 3: but feelings are definitely not leading. As for my appearance,

840
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 3: he said, I was incredibly beautiful, always had been, in

841
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 3: that my hair color or eye shape could never diminish

842
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 3: his feelings for me, even He even joked that he

843
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 3: wasn't exactly a tall Asian man like.

844
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:35,479
Speaker 2: Adam had been.

845
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 3: We laughed and the atmosphere lightened up.

846
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 5: Honestly, whatever, that's like, one of the most real things

847
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 5: I think I've heard in this story so far is

848
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 5: it's like, yeah, it's been years and you're with someone close.

849
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 2: It's like, you know, you can laugh.

850
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 5: Finding someone you can laugh with about like greed for

851
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 5: like someone who's who's passed away is like, is a

852
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 5: real thing, trauma bond laughing in this situation is a

853
00:42:58,239 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 5: human thing.

854
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's the butt did traumaba on.

855
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 3: Thomas asked if I was ready for a relationship, and

856
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 3: for the first time in a long while, I didn't hesitate.

857
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 3: I said yes and hugged him immediately. We sat like

858
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,359
Speaker 3: that for a few minutes before we heard the sound

859
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 3: on my parents' car. The four of us had dinner together,

860
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 3: laughed a lot, and I was happy that Tom had

861
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 3: so easily gotten along with my parents. He kissed me

862
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 3: when we left, not in front of my parents, of course,

863
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 3: and asked me out for a date the next day.

864
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 3: We were finally happy, or rather he was and I

865
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 3: wasn't entirely that night, I kept thinking about Ursula and

866
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:38,320
Speaker 3: her words. It hurt me that she didn't share everyone

867
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,359
Speaker 3: else's opinion. One of you left the comments saying that

868
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 3: she hadn't fully grieved her own loss yet. And I

869
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 3: think that's true. When you have three kids to take

870
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 3: care of, there's all, there's not always time for grieving

871
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 3: and proper therapy. I don't blame her, but I'm not

872
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 3: going to make excuses for her either. I decided to

873
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:58,720
Speaker 3: talk to her before Tom and I make things official.

874
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 3: The next morning, I called her and asked to meet. Well,

875
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 3: you agreed meet for lunch at a cafe. I expected

876
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 3: her to be more negative, but she was calm. I

877
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 3: told her about my conversation with Amber's mom and my

878
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 3: talk with Thomas and about our decision. I could see

879
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 3: that she was full of doubts. Surprisingly, she apologized for

880
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 3: speaking so harshly to me about Thomas.

881
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 5: I mean, that's I guess fair, right. Maybe she hadn't

882
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:32,360
Speaker 5: been confronted with that before that moment. Yeah, and then

883
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 5: she's hearing like Thomas and OPI you're gonna get together.

884
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 2: She's like, what is what are you thinking? Yeah?

885
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 5: Again, I disagreed with her sentiment. Of like you're gonna

886
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 5: ruin everything. It's like no, but it's like they might

887
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 5: be in like a weird, non functional like trying to

888
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 5: replace our partners with each other relationship, I think.

889
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 3: Surprisingly, she apologized for speaking so harshly to me about Thomas. However,

890
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 3: she also said that she hadn't changed her opinion and

891
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 3: that for her those feelings were wrong. She couldn't accept it,

892
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,439
Speaker 3: at least not right now. She didn't want to ruin

893
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 3: anyone's life, So if Thomas and I had decided to

894
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,919
Speaker 3: be together, it would be better if we stop communicating.

895
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 3: My heart broke at that moment. Hears rolled down my

896
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 3: cheeks and I saw her eyes were also wet. URST

897
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 3: little left and I just sat in the cafe trying

898
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 3: to hold back my tears. After paying, I quickly rushed

899
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 3: home and barely made it through the rest of the day.

900
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 3: I work online, and if you guys want to make

901
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 3: it through the rest of your freaking day, go to

902
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 3: your favorite podcast platform. Search up Okay story Time, and

903
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 3: we will help you get through your day with hundreds

904
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 3: of hours of stories just like this.

905
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 5: Search it up indeed, and varying degrees of realness or fakeness.

906
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,479
Speaker 3: We talked about AI content. I don't think we didn't

907
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 3: pick this to be AI content.

908
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 2: Sorry.

909
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 5: I don't understand though, where it's like I don't want

910
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 5: to ruin everyone's life, so I guess we can't talk

911
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 5: to each other. It's like, hey, whatever happened did you?

912
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 5: Being like I agreed to disagree.

913
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 3: That And I think Ursula just can't accept the relationship,

914
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 3: so she doesn't want to put her negative connotations on

915
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,280
Speaker 3: the relationship, so she's gonna remove herself from it until

916
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 3: she can come to terms with it.

917
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 2: I don't know. It sounds like she's like she's like,

918
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 2: I'm calm. Look, I don't even know how to give it.

919
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 4: Thinking with your emotions and thinking with your head, and

920
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 4: I feel like this has all been just straight emotion. Yeah,

921
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:28,320
Speaker 4: that's it. That's all I'm thinking. If this is real,

922
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 4: because it does happen when like oh fools rush in

923
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 4: or like love at first sight all that jazz, and

924
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 4: you're like, I don't know, this is this is so

925
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 4: freaking quick. It's wild to me.

926
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 2: Has a good point.

927
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 3: They said that English was not the first language. Then

928
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 3: maybe used chat to b T.

929
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 2: Dispersed it up.

930
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 5: Maybe I mean like we all have crazy I'm sure

931
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 5: you have crazy stories. I have crazy stories. Kian has

932
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 5: crazy stories. We all have stories that would definitely not

933
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 5: sound real if we told them.

934
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 4: I mean, right, but I got crazy stories.

935
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 5: I think outside of whether this story is real or fake,

936
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 5: like there's you have more options, and I think if

937
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 5: you really, like I mean, if you if you were

938
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,359
Speaker 5: married to this person or Indian, then you were best

939
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,320
Speaker 5: friends with someone else, like y'all are just two intertwined.

940
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 5: This is an entanglement truly, more than anything I have

941
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 5: ever seen. The word entanglement applies here like y'all are

942
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 5: all twisted up with so many different plot lines and

943
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 5: variable emotions and reactions that it's like it's you cannot

944
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 5: have a clean cut beginning or or or I don't

945
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 5: know anything when this relationship is gonna be a mess.

946
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm calling it, and you're free to experiment and

947
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 2: find out for yourself. I guess.

948
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 3: But we have a little bit more and we're gonna

949
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 3: find out the rest of the context. So it was

950
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 3: probably a bad idea, had to see Ursula on the

951
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 3: same day as my day with Thomas. But what's done

952
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,879
Speaker 3: is done. When I realized I couldn't handle the date.

953
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 3: I told him exactly how I felt. He suggested I

954
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 3: come to his place, and I cried in his arms

955
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,879
Speaker 3: all night. I know this isn't the kind of first

956
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 3: date he dreamed of, nor did I, but I was

957
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 3: once again convinced that I had made the right choice.

958
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 3: I also told him about the post here and he

959
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 3: read it all the comments and thanks everyone who shared

960
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 3: their words of support. I'm finishing this post while he

961
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 3: sleeps peacefully. It's been night here. We don't know what

962
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 3: the future holds for us, but we'll do everything we.

963
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 2: Can to be happy.

964
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 3: And yes, I will move to his country soon. So

965
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 3: this is likely the first and last update to the story.

966
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 3: Once again, thank you to everyone. Be happy and goodbye.

967
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 5: Not only are you going to get in a relationship

968
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 5: with this guy, you're gonna move to a different country.

969
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 4: And like the second does this is like the second Like,

970
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 4: let's say they've been seeing each other logistically or realistically

971
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 4: here not that long, but they have history. Though I

972
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 4: don't care if you got history, bro. People change after

973
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 4: especially trauma and grief and all this. People change.

974
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, you do not know enough about how y'all are

975
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 5: gonna work out to.

976
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 2: Move to a new country.

977
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 5: It's like three years later Europe and it's like a

978
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 5: forty five minute drive away.

979
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:15,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, like okay, that's different, but like.

980
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 4: Moving to a different country for somebody that you're like, hmmm,

981
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,279
Speaker 4: I don't know what the future holds for us, but

982
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 4: I'm happy right now.

983
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 5: And crazy that It's like listen, so I came over

984
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 5: and cried in his arms all night.

985
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 2: I it's it's I'm sure it's not what he expected.

986
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:33,280
Speaker 5: It's like, well, I mean, probably was what he expected,

987
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 5: because you guys are an emotional hurricane.

988
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:36,479
Speaker 2: Yeah.

989
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 4: I love romance, don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker

990
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 4: for it. But this is out of all this context.

991
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:48,760
Speaker 4: This is not romantic. There's no romance here. This is like, hey,

992
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,359
Speaker 4: we got we got the same issues, right, it's been

993
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 4: it's been a while, you know me, I know you.

994
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 4: Let's just let's just let's just ride the wave kind

995
00:49:59,440 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 4: of thing.

996
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 5: I mean, it's literally, it's it's absurd that you are

997
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:07,439
Speaker 5: now gonna be in like a committed relationship with the

998
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:12,280
Speaker 5: closest possible thing you could ever have to your partners

999
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:13,280
Speaker 5: who have passed away.

1000
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 2: It might be your comfort thing.

1001
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 4: It's a trauma thing.

1002
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 2: It's not coming from.

1003
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 4: What's the what do you want to pull it?

1004
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: Do people still feel the same as it, like stay

1005
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 2: together or not? Everybody in this story needs to process

1006
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 2: their grief.

1007
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 4: Like I'm saying the fact that she's willing to just

1008
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,880
Speaker 4: cut ties with people because she's like, I'm so infatuated,

1009
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,320
Speaker 4: like this is making me happy in the moment.

1010
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 2: Well that wasn't her, to be fair, that was Ursula.

1011
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 4: That was Ursula. But I'm like, she's cool with it.

1012
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 4: She's just cool with it.

1013
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 5: It's just but it doesn't Ursula's Ursula didn't make any

1014
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 5: sense there because she was like as she was so calm,

1015
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 5: and then she was like, I don't want to ruin

1016
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 5: anybody's life. Well it's like just like shut up, just

1017
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,040
Speaker 5: like don't what do you what? So every time you

1018
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 5: see them, you're just gonna tell them that you don't

1019
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 5: approve of them. It's like I have friends that I

1020
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 5: don't approve of everything they do all the time. I

1021
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 5: don't yap their ear off about it every time I

1022
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 5: see them, like because that's like I don't know not

1023
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 5: what you do as a human being.

1024
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:18,919
Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, And they posted this like five months ago

1025
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 3: so we can probably six months ago, so we can

1026
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 3: probably get an update in another six months. I wish,

1027
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 3: like low key, I wish that every story we read

1028
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 3: was after the pass of the human existence.

1029
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 2: So we have all the updates on Reddit that we

1030
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 2: after all of after like the heat death of the universe.

1031
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 3: The universe is doing it, and see all of the updates,

1032
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 3: and then I come back and give it to you guys.

1033
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:48,560
Speaker 2: Well, hey, you know people are complex, whatever.

1034
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 4: We are complex, But this was a story of literally

1035
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 4: just let let your emotion take over.

1036
00:51:55,760 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 5: Here complete narrow the narrowest hallway tunnel vision on. I

1037
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 5: don't know, Yeah, I think you would need some more

1038
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:07,359
Speaker 5: therapy to unpack exactly why you guys felt like you

1039
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 5: were the only match for each other in that moment.

1040
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1041
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like sounds like she dated one guy for six

1042
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 5: months and then started like you know this thing with Tom.

1043
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 3: Well, no, no, no, she started dating guy for six

1044
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:23,439
Speaker 3: months and then had a year and then started.

1045
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 2: Well I know I know that it wasn't six months.

1046
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 5: I know there's more time, but it sounds like she

1047
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 5: had one somewhat serious relationship that lasted half a year

1048
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 5: and now she's gonna date her best friends her late

1049
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 5: best friends' husband.

1050
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like a good idea.

1051
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:42,360
Speaker 3: I mean, hey, I'm for love and we have forty

1052
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 3: six percent of people saying stay fifty four percent saying non.

1053
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 3: But guys, that is the end of this story. Put

1054
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 3: your comments below of how you feel about it, and

1055
00:52:51,239 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 3: if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1056
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: We love you and see you tomorrow. Hey, it's John here,

1057
00:52:58,239 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 1: og host of the show. We're gonna get back to

1058
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 1: these uy stories. But here's a quick three minutes of

1059
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors.

1060
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 2: This is an episode from Deep within the Archives.

1061
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 1: Time for okop Rewash. I accidentally invited my boss our

1062
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 1: boys trip, and I never would have expected what he

1063
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: said to us. Drop them pantaloons, you're all higher, you're

1064
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,520
Speaker 1: all looking mighty fun on his boys strip.

1065
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:25,479
Speaker 2: I hope hr is on this boys trip too, because

1066
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:28,920
Speaker 2: I'm about to do someone to speak like, give you

1067
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 2: a promotion and joints.

1068
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 1: So I had been planning this weekend get away with

1069
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,840
Speaker 1: my buddies for months. We were going to a remote

1070
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 1: cabin in the woods to have some fun, drink some beers,

1071
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:43,359
Speaker 1: and forget about work for a little while. Now, as

1072
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 1: the weekend approached, I was excited to finally take a

1073
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 1: break from my stressful job and just let loose. But

1074
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 1: that is where I messed up. No one can relax him.

1075
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 1: That's not that's not possible.

1076
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,680
Speaker 2: Work until you die. That's there. We go. Now now

1077
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 2: we're talking, keep those capital those wheels returning. Yeah.

1078
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 1: I accidentally included my boss in the group message about

1079
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 1: the weekend getaway.

1080
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 2: Oh dude is thrilled. H Yeah, he's like, yeah, finally,

1081
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,320
Speaker 2: I feel like it's like a Michael Scott boss. Oh.

1082
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 2: It's like yeah, oh my god, my employees like me.

1083
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 7: Yeah, oh my gosh to be friends about that. Yeah,

1084
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:22,320
Speaker 7: so what are we gonna do?

1085
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 2: Guys? Are we going to go? I brought I brought

1086
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 2: all the the crafts. You know, we can we can

1087
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 2: go canoeing. I've been working on my jstroke.

1088
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 7: Just remember, if there's something that I want to do

1089
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:33,399
Speaker 7: that you don't want to do.

1090
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 2: You're fired. Yeah.

1091
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: I didn't realize this until I saw his response in

1092
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: the chat saying he was excited to join prize.

1093
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 2: Yikes, that relationship.

1094
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,239
Speaker 7: Based on the way Op is talking, I have to

1095
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,879
Speaker 7: imagine no, no, weird that he would say yes, yeah.

1096
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 2: Maybe he's maybe just lowly. Maybe he's just trying to

1097
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 2: be a cool boss. He just wants he just wants

1098
00:54:57,040 --> 00:55:00,800
Speaker 2: a trip at the boys. It's company bonding. Yeah, exactly

1099
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 2: a lot of synergy that could happen with synergy, emphasis

1100
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:05,760
Speaker 2: on the sand.

1101
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:12,720
Speaker 1: That's good, Okay, we'll saving that. I immediately panicked, because,

1102
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 1: let's be real, no one wants to spend a weekend

1103
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:17,320
Speaker 1: away with their boss.

1104
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:21,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. All the bosses are trash. Yeah, you know, especially

1105
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 2: especially people who run podcasts.

1106
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 7: Yeah, dude, they're the team garbage. I would never want

1107
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 7: to hang out with them. Dude, never, That's what I

1108
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 7: think of them. Old farts.

1109
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,799
Speaker 1: That's right, hold bag of bones, twenty six year olds

1110
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 1: ready to crawl in the grave. What would you do

1111
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 1: if you had a boss that you didn't like and

1112
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:43,839
Speaker 1: you accidentally invited them to the well.

1113
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 7: I'm trying to think about the only the the one

1114
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 7: boss that I've had. I guess it would be weird

1115
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 7: if you came. But I would be like, I probably

1116
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:53,399
Speaker 7: would be like if he was like, oh dude, I'm hyped,

1117
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 7: I probably would just end up inviting it, like so, because.

1118
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to.

1119
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 7: Yeah, you wouldn't want to, Like I wouldn't want to

1120
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 7: uninvite them where right, Oh like, oh sorry, I didn't

1121
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:03,480
Speaker 7: mean to invite you.

1122
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,799
Speaker 1: Yeah that's so. That's so that's so hard to walk

1123
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,240
Speaker 1: back from. What about like like maybe like a professor

1124
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 1: you hated, or like something like someone who's like a

1125
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 1: foss adjacent. Yeah, yeah, that like is like super whack

1126
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:18,759
Speaker 1: low key. I think it would be funny, just like

1127
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 1: but you gotta take shots. Yeah, we're going to butt chug.

1128
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, butt chunk, butt chug, butt chug. You never heard

1129
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 2: of butt chugging butt chug bro but chugging. So you

1130
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 2: can do it with a bunch of different things.

1131
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 7: I mean, like the classic is like, you know, inserting

1132
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 7: a tube into your butt and then pouring alcohol down

1133
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 7: the tube like like a funnel, and it gets you

1134
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:47,000
Speaker 7: super fucked up because like you like you absorbed the

1135
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 7: alcohol through your buttthole and it doesn't have time to

1136
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 7: like go through a liver liver, so it goes directly

1137
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 7: into the bloodstream. But a better way to do if

1138
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:56,120
Speaker 7: you don't want to want to have like the whole

1139
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 7: like you know, tube and funnel and stuff, and you're

1140
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 7: like the other way is you so get tampon in

1141
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 7: in vodka and then you stick your you stick it

1142
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 7: up your butt, and then you get instantly picked up.

1143
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 7: And one of my friends wasn't the receiver of the tampon,

1144
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:13,760
Speaker 7: but he was the inserter of the tampon into another

1145
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 7: one of his friends and said, they instantly just got

1146
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 7: wrecked in a fun way.

1147
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 1: My entire world has just dissolved. My whole understanding of

1148
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 1: human existence is just I can't believe you've never heard

1149
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 1: a bunch of questions.

1150
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 7: I've never in my life. Wow, spent enough years in

1151
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 7: college and you learned the important.

1152
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the real life skills. Yeah, maybe the real

1153
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:50,439
Speaker 2: education drunk off your butt? Wow, bro, that's wow.

1154
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 1: Well there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. You learn

1155
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 1: something new every day. It's a Factopie. I tried to

1156
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 1: backtrack and come up with some excuse, but it was

1157
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: too late.

1158
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 2: RP.

1159
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 1: Just get your boss to butt chug and so its remember. Yeah,

1160
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:10,160
Speaker 1: my boss had already made some plans to come with us,

1161
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:13,240
Speaker 1: and there was no way out of it. Oh geez,

1162
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: it was just as awkward as you can imagine. Oh no,

1163
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 1: the weekend happened. I spent the entire weekend trying to

1164
00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 1: have fun with my friends while also trying to impress

1165
00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:24,280
Speaker 1: my boss.

1166
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 2: That's so bad. Like it's like, Yo, do you want

1167
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 2: to go fishing?

1168
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 7: I bet I could catch the biggest fish because I

1169
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:32,920
Speaker 7: always bring.

1170
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,240
Speaker 2: What's best for the company back. Yeah.

1171
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like what if he's like trying to just slyly

1172
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,320
Speaker 1: slide in some things? Like you know, I think we

1173
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 1: need some some er just a cooperation here to make

1174
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 1: this campfire.

1175
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1176
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:46,920
Speaker 7: I think we need to like love team building and

1177
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 7: leading teams. And I really think like I could be

1178
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 7: in charge of a team and possibly be due for

1179
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 7: a new promotion.

1180
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 1: Yeah that's so funny, Like basically like LinkedIn speak, it's

1181
00:58:58,760 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 1: a it's a camp trip.

1182
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, like, uh, it would be success.

1183
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 1: I successfully organized, and I successful organized and distributed containers

1184
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 1: of you know, some PNJ.

1185
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 2: To all those involved.

1186
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 7: I facilitated the growth of a campfire use utilizing skills

1187
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:26,919
Speaker 7: that I have developed over over many years with five

1188
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 7: plus years of fire safety training.

1189
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 1: I I developed a unique method of intoxicating what's right,

1190
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 1: very original.

1191
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:44,640
Speaker 7: Oh my god, butt chugs Now I want to see

1192
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 7: butt chugs on LinkedIn? Oh yeah, oh yeah, everyone who's

1193
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 7: gone to a U c L a frat has that

1194
00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 7: right next to their I.

1195
00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 1: Don't even want to ask. I was about to ask

1196
00:59:57,240 --> 01:00:00,920
Speaker 1: a question, but I'm question. Come on, you have to

1197
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: have so many tubes. You cannot use a.

1198
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,200
Speaker 2: Tube over again, use the same tube.

1199
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 1: That's got to be like so like beyond the dirtiness

1200
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 1: of it, like like, have you heard of the gut Yeah,

1201
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:16,600
Speaker 1: the gut biome transplant.

1202
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 7: It's like that, but like in a negative what probably

1203
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 7: in a negative way? Yeah, that's why you do it

1204
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 7: with a tampon instead. Yeah, that's right, That's that's how

1205
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 7: the professionals do it. Oh god, Okay, I just have

1206
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 7: to readjust so hard after after talking about that, but

1207
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 7: you're so hard after that, you just bricked like a

1208
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 7: tampon and the out of the waistband exactly readjusting, hold

1209
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:43,920
Speaker 7: on boy.

1210
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 2: Back to hope. Terrible transition.

1211
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 1: I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells, trying

1212
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 1: not to say or do anything that would make me

1213
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 1: look bad in front of him.

1214
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 2: I get it.

1215
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 1: But despite the awkwardness, we did have some phone moments.

1216
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 1: We went fishing, we played board games, we even went

1217
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 1: on a hike in the woods. I tried my best

1218
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,040
Speaker 1: to action normal around my boss, but I could tell

1219
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 1: that he was a bit uncomfortable too. At one point,

1220
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 1: my buddy brought out a case of beer and we

1221
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: all started drinking.

1222
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 2: Oh, things are gonna hear frisky.

1223
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:16,000
Speaker 3: Oh.

1224
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 1: My boss joined in too, and before I knew it,

1225
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 1: we were all pretty freaking sloppy wasted.

1226
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:22,680
Speaker 2: Dude.

1227
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:25,480
Speaker 7: I feel like, either it's gonna go really really well

1228
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 7: right now and they're all gonna bond, or Op's gonna

1229
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 7: say some wax or the boss is gonna say some wa.

1230
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be Yeah, it's been my favorite. You should

1231
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:39,800
Speaker 2: you should have promotion? Should I should?

1232
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 7: I should promote? What are you gonna do for me

1233
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:46,479
Speaker 7: before I give you that promotion? Like like they say,

1234
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:51,160
Speaker 7: they say you gotta kiss to get to the top,

1235
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:55,680
Speaker 7: or you gotta have your chug.

1236
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you've heard of kissing. Have you heard him

1237
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 2: chugging at? But I'll do whatever its Oh God, please

1238
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 2: spare me, Lord, Please you just show you a bun choke?

1239
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:19,400
Speaker 2: Oh please don't. Oh God.

1240
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 1: Now that's when things started to get really awkward. One

1241
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:25,920
Speaker 1: of my friends, let's call him Dave, started telling some

1242
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 1: inappropriate jokes. I knew I should have told him to

1243
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:31,920
Speaker 1: stop but I was too afraid of offending my boss.

1244
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,360
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you wouldn't you do the opposite if you were

1245
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 1: afraid of offending the boss, like you're, tell him to

1246
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:37,840
Speaker 1: stop so he doesn't get offended.

1247
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:41,400
Speaker 7: Tell who to stop his friend, Like I guess he's like,

1248
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:43,400
Speaker 7: he's like, the boss just wants to be one of

1249
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 7: the boys.

1250
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:44,160
Speaker 4: You know.

1251
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:48,479
Speaker 2: I go, okay, okay, okay, okay.

1252
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:51,160
Speaker 1: So I just sat there and tried to laugh politely

1253
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:55,920
Speaker 1: while Dave told joke after joke. Then things got even worse,

1254
01:02:56,600 --> 01:03:01,120
Speaker 1: as they do. My boss started telling his own inappropriate jokes.

1255
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:05,800
Speaker 1: Oh god, I creature, sure they come out of the bushes.

1256
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, free la sign this, now you're fired. I couldn't

1257
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 2: believe it.

1258
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,920
Speaker 1: This was my boss, the guy who signs my paychecks,

1259
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 1: telling dirty jokes in the middle of the woods. Overall,

1260
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 1: it was a pretty successful and awkward weekend, but at

1261
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 1: least I learned a valuable lesson.

1262
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah. I was satisfied by that.

1263
01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:28,959
Speaker 1: Always double check who you're inviting before you hit send,

1264
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:32,120
Speaker 1: and maybe, just maybe don't invite your boss here.

1265
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,640
Speaker 2: We can get away in the first place.

1266
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 7: You know, I feel like the update is gonna be

1267
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 7: good news. I got a promotion because my boss. I

1268
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 7: having such a good time.

1269
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:44,080
Speaker 1: Honestly, Yeah, I'm curious what you what you guys thought

1270
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 1: in the comments blow if anyone was the a hole

1271
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:47,320
Speaker 1: in this scenario potentially.

1272
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:48,640
Speaker 2: I don't think anyone's the a hole.

1273
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:50,640
Speaker 7: I mean, I think it is a little bit the like,

1274
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:52,600
Speaker 7: you know, the boss, a little weird for the boss

1275
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 7: to say yes slightly.

1276
01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 1: It totally depends on the relationship between him. It sounded

1277
01:03:56,520 --> 01:04:00,280
Speaker 1: like it wasn't that, but it sounded Honestly, it's sounds

1278
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:01,200
Speaker 1: like it all went pretty well.

1279
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:01,439
Speaker 2: Op.

1280
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 1: I think need to just open, yeah, open their mind

1281
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:08,360
Speaker 1: a little, open his mind and his exactly a sweet

1282
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 1: soaked tampon of justice.