WEBVTT - How to (Not) Hire a Hitman 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.960 Hey, they're Crimeless fans and David stands. If you have 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:06.680 arrived here looking for mister Knoxville and more chapters of 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:09.240 the hilarious tale about David and Mike and all those 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.200 other bumbling thieves from Hillbilly Heist. I'm sorry to tell 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:14.480 you that this particular story has come to an end. 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.400 Johnny had to get back to his regular life. All 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:20.760 is not lost, However, the Crimeless train doesn't stop rolling 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:23.320 just because we had to drop Johnny off. It has 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:26.239 only stopped for refueling and to allow some new passengers 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:29.200 to get on, like me, Josh Dean and my friend 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:31.840 in Denver, Rory Scoville. 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:35.280 Hello, everybody, and welcome to Crimeless. 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:37.920 Coming up here in just a few moments, we have 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:40.040 a treat to play for you, episode one of our 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:43.159 new weekly show Crimeless, a podcast that celebrates, as we 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:46.839 will say many times, the amazing creativity of the world's 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:49.480 dumbest criminals. Would you say that sums it up, Rory? 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:51.199 I think that absolutely sums it up. 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:53.760 I'm a journalist and I'll handle the storytelling duties. It's 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:56.560 my job to find the ridiculous tales and relay them 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.600 to Rory. He's a comedian, he will crack jokes and 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:01.200 also do some accents. 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:06.039 Sometimes well the pressure's on now, yeah I will. I 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:09.240 will participate with you the audience in having my mind 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:12.959 blown at how absolutely absurd the criminals of this country 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:14.120 and world can. 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:15.759 Be, and do a little Scottish for us. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:20.240 There these criminals in the breaking into what if. I 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:22.200 hope this is a make or break. I hope this 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:25.720 doesn't mean I break people to say to actually listen 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:28.679 to the show. Is that close? That's close, that's pretty good. 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.240 That was not that's not gonna get me a gig, 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:34.440 but it's not gonna not get me another audition for 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:36.600 something else later without an accent. 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.720 I agree. I give that a solid B plus. 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:39.280 So nice work. 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:42.040 Thank you. Every week, together we will unpack a new 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.400 crime story that is too ridiculous to believe, joined occasionally 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:48.840 by our trustee producer Lane Rose, who moves more often 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:51.639 than someone in witness protection. Which, come to think of it, Lane, 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:52.480 are you in hiding? 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:54.600 Why didn't you like to know? 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:56.360 Oh? 0:01:55.840 --> 0:01:58.320 Yeah, yeah, I'll never reveal my secret. 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:01.280 In addition to make us look good by editing out 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.960 our worst jokes, Lane will cap off every episode with 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:06.720 a quiz, puzzle test or trivia challenge in a segment 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:07.680 that Rory. 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:09.560 Has named Lane's Games. 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:15.120 Stay tuned for that just as soon as we spend 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:18.800 our first side splitting tail. And with that, I present 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:20.200 episode one of Crime. 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:22.160 Less, your new favorite weekly show. 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:24.560 Please like and follow us on your favorite app and 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:25.760 tell all your friends. 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:28.760 Think of it as a pyramid scheme, but instead of money, 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.560 we ask only for your laughs. Just do it. Let's go, 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:51.680 Gampsite media charge Rory. Yes, Josh, have you ever wanted 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:55.880 to Have you ever wanted to kill somebody? I mean, 0:02:56.560 --> 0:03:03.680 this feels is like such a setup. Uh sure, in 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:06.760 that fantastical I'm really mad at you kind of way, 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:09.760 but would never do it and would instantly regret it. 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:14.000 Okay, good, good, Because I'm not your lawyer yet, so 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:16.760 anything you tell me it is technically admissible in court. 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:17.920 I know, I know, I know. 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:19.799 And we don't want to have to start recording these 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:21.960 remotely from prison, or maybe we do. 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:24.120 It could be fun, our a new bit, a lot 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:24.799 of face time me. 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.120 So let me start up and rephrase the question, do 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.160 you believe that hip men are real? I? 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:32.720 Do you do? Okay? I think they're real? 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:34.760 Could because there's a school of thought that they're like 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:37.000 unicorns are undecided voters, something we. 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:39.960 Made up for movies. That is, I will say though 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:42.440 every time someone contacts a hit man it is an 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:47.280 undercover cop. Look at you, You're always so far ahead 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:51.560 of my storytelling, Well, it's always a cop. The reason 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:53.720 I say that is you might be right. They might 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:57.800 be a mythical creature that doesn't actually exist, and yet 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:00.640 people still try to contact them via Craigslist. 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:04.760 Well exactly because today and crime List, we have a 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:09.000 hilariously tragic tale of spoiler alert, a failed murder for 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.240 higher scheme. We'll tell you how not to hire a hitman, 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:15.960 and we will finally answer the question do they even exist? 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:18.000 That's after break. 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.839 Hello would welcome back to crime List, the podcast that 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:30.840 celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals while 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:34.159 also obeying all traffic laws and never cutting the tags 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.080 off our pillows or mattresses. I'm Josh Dean. 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:40.839 And I am Rury's skifful good citizen of this world. 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:44.960 Today, our story takes us to South Rockwood, Michigan, a 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:48.719 town south of Detroit that, according to niche dot com 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:52.080 renowned review sight of towns has a night life scene 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:55.120 that's a solid B minus. And if that hasn't convinced 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:58.600 you to move there, maybe this will. Back in July 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:03.119 twenty twenty, aged divorce, a named Wendy Wine was pissed off. 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.640 She was sure their ex husband, who'd bolted for Tennessee, 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:09.640 had stolen twenty grand, and the distance provided by divorce 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.960 and all those state lines was just not enough. 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:13.320 She needed her. 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:14.800 Ex husband six feet under. 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:17.000 Wow, this is COVID time too. 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:20.200 Yeah, maybe a little extra on edge, right, So. 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:23.080 We're all turned up to eleven at this point, just 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:24.720 to set the scene. 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.640 So divorce she thinks he's taking twenty grand. Clearly the 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.599 only option at this point is to have him murder, right, Yeah, 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:34.240 I mean she can't even go outside. She's not supposed 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:37.200 to even go outside. I guess that explains why she 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:39.280 couldn't kill him herself, because how would she get to Tennessee? 0:05:39.400 --> 0:05:40.080 Yeah, exactly. 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:42.880 So anyway, she's not a killer herself. She's a mother 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:45.320 of two. And if Wendy's gonna do this, she's gonna 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.920 need some help. She's gonna need a hit man. How 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:49.279 do you go about finding a hitman? 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:53.000 Rory hitman dot com. You're this is actually how we 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:54.960 do one of our plugs for one of our sponsors 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:57.279 if you're looking to off so, but don't be afraid 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.360 of hitman dot com. 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.960 I mean, I feel like sometimes someone's leaking these scripts 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:05.760 to you because you're getting a little bit ahea off 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:06.360 my money. 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:10.800 If this is even remotely true, oh my god, hold tight. 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:14.680 In the past, you might have tried asking the bartender 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:17.360 at the Divius Bar in town, or maybe your friend 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.479 who's always got a guy for that. But this is 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:22.000 the twenty first century. We have the Internet, and naturally 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:25.279 Wendy turns to Google. I just love I love engaging 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:26.600 with the bartender. 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:30.479 Like you know anybody who like, how many times does 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:31.159 the bartender be? 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:31.240 Like? 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:33.280 Why does everybody come in here and think I know 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:37.520 who the murderers are? Bartender knows everything. Man, I'll do 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:41.320 another course light and uh, you know anybody in town 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:45.160 who kills people for money? 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:47.760 So we will know exactly what Wendy typed into her 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:49.840 Google machine. But it must have been something like hit 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:55.599 man near me. Regardless, she comes across a website called 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:57.120 rent a Hitman. 0:06:57.200 --> 0:06:59.240 Do oh shut the no? 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:03.320 Well, yes, I did not make that up Rennehitman dot com. 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.520 You can actually go there right now and you'll find 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:09.040 a website that looks totally legit and not at all 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:09.560 like a trap. 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:11.240 Do you want to know what it makes me think of? 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:13.960 It makes me think of like this is the police 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:17.000 version of you know, when you take a kid fishing 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:21.200 with their like shitty little kid fishing pole and the 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:24.840 bait that's plastic but looks like a fish, and that 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:27.560 Wendy is a fish. That was like, I think that's 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:31.360 actual bait. I'm actually gonna bite. I'm gonna bite. I'm 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:32.000 gonna eat that. 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.880 Totally, because I'm sure Renne Hitman dot com is not 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:38.200 a yet definitely not a trap. It's gotta be a 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:40.680 legit thing because like it's on the open. We're not 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:42.679 talking four Chan of the dark web here, We're talking 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:43.760 this is the Internet. 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:46.240 Hoigpace, so in the open. That's what Wendy was like, Oh, 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.640 I appreciate this so easy? Who knew it was so convenient? 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:50.280 Good lord? 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:53.600 And it's not some janky website. It's a thorough resource 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:57.360 advertising that its creators have seventeen thou nine and eighty 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:02.840 five field operatives who have been quote whacken woes since prohibition. 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:06.800 Yeah, also that's a that's also a lot of hitmen 0:08:07.360 --> 0:08:10.680 like we have seventeen thousand. I feel like maybe they 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.560 over overplayed it there. Oh, I gotta say, if this 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:19.600 is a undercover cop scheme, they probably were like, hey, 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:22.360 you don't make it seventeen thousand, and then someone's like, 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:27.840 who is going to this website? Anyways? Wendy might be 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:32.680 them having to buy the website at them having to 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:38.360 get it designed, them having to pay for that. For 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:42.720 that dot com, they maybe put more money into catching 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:44.160 one person. 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:49.040 An elaborate sting, just waiting waiting for a fly to 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:50.640 fly into that trap exactly. 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:52.679 They even have a welcome video. 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:56.240 Oh yeah, hey you Yeah, you're looking for a hit man. 0:08:56.920 --> 0:09:01.200 You got an issue that needs resolving, Look no further 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:04.560 than rent a hit Man your pointing click solution. Yeah, 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.520 we're on the world Wide Web, not the Deep Web, 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:12.839 not the dark Web, the world wide Web, and tell 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:17.120 them Guido sent you and we are one hundred compliant. 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:20.440 With hip hop the hit Man Information Privacy and Protection 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:24.320 Act of nineteen sixty four. So check us out rent 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.880 a Hitman dot com. 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:31.120 Okay, yep, I would I would rent from here. It 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:32.920 felt like an SNL sketch. 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:36.880 Well, just you wait, there's twists coming Rory Man. So 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.079 Wendy's no dummy and she's not gonna trust just anything 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:41.880 she finds on the internet. Come on. So she writes 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.480 an email to rent a Hipman's chief consultant, who you 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.680 heard there, Guido Finelli, saying this is kind of weird 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:50.080 that your company's not on the dark web. I prefer 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:53.160 not going to jail. Thanks for your time. And then 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:56.239 she tells Guido she's in need of one of those consultants. 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:58.840 She's willing to pay her hard earned American dollars to 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.920 have her ex husband taken care of. And he guesses 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.800 what they're going to charge her to solve this little problem. 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:09.080 I'm not gonna lie. I cannot even guess. I don't 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.800 even have a baseline jumping up. I have no idea. 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.760 Five grand Okay doesn't feel like enough. 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:18.880 Right, it doesn't feel like enough. But it also you 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:22.720 gotta know your your clients. You gotta know what their 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:26.080 income might be. Right. It's probably not like someone in 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:29.599 the one percent isn't coming to deal with a website. 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.800 They have someone on retainer for this kind of thing. 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:35.360 Yeah, I kind of feel like five grand was a 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:37.920 bit of a red flag. So the next day she 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.400 gets a response asking if she still requires their services 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:42.000 and if she would like to be connected with a 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:45.120 field operative. She says yes, absolutely, her husband is still 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:47.520 a problem in need of solution, and she ranges to 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:50.280 meet this chosen operative at a cafe. We talked about 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:52.520 this earlier, but this is July twenty twenty. Rory, what 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:53.280 else is happening? 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:55.800 I mean COVID, So what's going on with this cat? Actually, 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:58.400 now I'm worried what this cafe thinks they're doing. Open 0:10:58.679 --> 0:10:59.080 that's right. 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:01.320 If firing a hitman for on the internet isn't bad enough, 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:04.160 this woman is making plans to meet a stranger in public, 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:07.040 in the middle of the pandemic crimes piled on crimes here. 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:14.400 Sure, some of the piled on crimes are less critical 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:18.280 than the crime underneath the pile, but yes, still a crime. 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:23.560 So on July twenty first, twenty twenty, Wendy waits for 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:25.960 her hip man at the Dixie Cafe, a homy joint that, 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:28.280 according to one review, has the best bean soup and 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:29.000 fish around. 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.520 I believe him, I for sure believe him. I'm not 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:34.600 a big bean soup guy, though, that's because you haven't 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:35.120 had the best. 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:37.400 So the hip man approaches. We don't know what he 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.320 looks like. I like to imagine a ponytail, and he's 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.880 named Snake. Wendy tells him everything he needs to know 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:44.800 in order to kill her ex husband, what he looks 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.680 like when he drives, where he works. Then she meets 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:49.600 up with him a second time later that day and 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:53.000 gives him two hundred bucks for travel because he's not 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:56.559 covering expenses. Wendy, Yeah, that's right, you gotta cover from gas. 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.800 He's got a gass hotel, per diem. I mean he's 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:01.640 going down to Nashville or what do you say? 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:03.760 Tennessee's Tennessee. We're not sure where. 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:05.199 Yeah, and then. 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:08.280 Well, I mean, I feel like you've already answered this, 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:10.320 But can you predict what the plot twist is here? 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:13.000 I mean, I want it to be so extreme and 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:16.440 insane that the hit man is actually her husband in disguise, 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:19.240 and this whole time he's been a cop like Arnold 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.520 Schwarzenegger in True Lies. But I know that that isn't 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:23.600 going to be what you say. 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.560 No, it's sadly what you said at the top, it's 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.000 a sting. Wendy got arrested. 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:30.120 Yeah, that makes sense. 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:34.400 Yeah, I think we're both shocked, absolutely gobsmacked by this twist. 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:39.560 I mean, the cops had bids going at the station. 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.719 Who is going to fall for this? And that you know, 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:47.760 someone was like it will we will get one person. 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:51.640 We're going to get one person. 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.400 So yeah, I mean I had How on earth does 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.320 a lady as careful as Wendy get caught for trying 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.520 to hire it on the internet from the world's most 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.679 trust murder for hire site. Obviously, Rennahitman dot com, I 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.760 feel like is the gold standard. So here's what actually happened. 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.240 I have the whole full backstory for you, because I'm 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:11.640 sure you want to know. Yes, So, Rennehitman dot com 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:15.560 is run by a guy named Bob Innis and he's 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.000 originally he's just a normal dude who originally made the 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:21.000 website for his internet security business a while back, and 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:24.040 that didn't work out. I don't totally understand how that worked. 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:26.640 But it was meant to be a demonstration of something. 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:29.080 It was never meant to be a trap. But he 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:31.600 puts it up and it's left dormant, and then one day, 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:34.600 Bob he's bored and he checks the site's email box. 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.520 Oh wow, and he finds there are quite a few 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:40.280 messages from people asking to have their wife or husband, 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.120 or brother or uncle or second cousin murders. 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:43.800 Oh my god. 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:46.840 So he mostly ignored them until he got one that 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.600 looked serious enough. It was a woman saying she wanted 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:52.840 three people killed, and she even sent their names and addresses. 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:56.400 So Bob shifts into good Samaritan mode, sent the ladies 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:59.280 information to a cop friend of his, and she gets arrested. 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:04.640 So Wendy not the only person. Many, in fact, many people. 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:08.160 So shocking to know that there are numerous people out 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:10.400 there who are just googling how to have someone killed, 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:13.360 finding a website, looking at that and thinking this is legit. 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:15.720 That's the cops must have thought that too. The cops 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:18.000 must have been like, wait, what, Bob, what do you have? 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:22.440 I just I made the jokey website. And people really 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:25.400 want to kill people and they think it's real. They're like, oh, 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:27.520 oh my god. It's like literally going, what are we 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.120 having for dinner? And then someone going, oh, someone set 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:31.880 up a bunch of fishing poles and said we could 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.840 just have we could just have whatever they catch. Oh 0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:38.200 oh yeah, I like that. Yeah. 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.480 Bob's like, I guess I'll keep it up, and now 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.160 I'll just use it as a trap. So he's a 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:44.960 fair guy. He decides to keep it up, but he 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.320 gives it a redesign to make it even more obvious 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:49.320 that it's a fake, so that he can't be accused 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:50.000 of entrapment. 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:50.920 Yeah. 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:53.360 I think you can now vouch for it being really obvious. 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:56.600 Right, thought it was a joke, which I guess it was. 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:58.240 You said that looked like an SNL schedule. 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:00.000 I thought satura in life. Yeah. Yeah. 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:02.080 And if you remember when we both chuckled at the 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.480 reference to hippa, If you missed it, that referred to 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:07.400 the quote hit Man Information Privacy and Protection Act of 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:12.320 nineteen sixty four. It's an oath they make you take 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:13.640 when you graduate from Hitman. 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:15.360 You you have to take it. Yeah. Yeah. 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.960 So the website is also riddled with mafia references in 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.840 addition to the head of the company being Guido Finelli, who, 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:23.760 according to the website wait for this, has been working 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:26.520 at Rena Hitman since nineteen twenty. Yeah, assuming you have 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:28.000 to be at least ten to be a hit man. 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:30.000 That would make him one hundred and fifteen years old. 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:34.640 That's right, Wendy. Wendy just wanted to I think that's 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:36.640 the world we live in. We live in such a 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:40.840 world of convenience with our smartphones, we just assume that 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.240 even this could just be a convenience. Right, this is 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:46.680 door somebody thought of it. This is DoorDash for Wendy. 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:50.720 The website also uses the word kapiche a lot, which 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:52.000 is that offensive to Italian? 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:55.480 I don't know, but definitely a giveaway that it's not 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:56.200 a real thing. 0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:58.280 I think we may still be allowed to make fun 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:00.160 of Italian? Is that one accent we're still allowed to do? 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:01.520 Can you say, do you want to do you do one? 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:05.160 For us? People? Do? They debate it? They debate it, 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:11.880 They debate the the freedom, I'll say, the freedom to 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:14.160 make fun of an Italian accent? Where do you come down? 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:18.160 Are you comfortable? Hey? I just did he like you want? 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:21.000 This is my favorite. I don't know what this is, 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.600 but I love it plays great on podcasts, But really 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:28.560 I just as I did it. Let me just say, 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:31.960 Rory is doing a great Italian impression. With his hands. 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:35.480 Yeah yeah, and and honestly every listener just pictured the 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:39.560 same thing, tiny little crab claws yep, like facing upward 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:44.360 and like like two crabs fighting. Yeah, not even a 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:48.200 stereotypical uh impersonation. You watch any soccer game, You're going 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.359 to see this one hundred thousand times. 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:53.560 Oh yeah, when they get up from being fake fauve, Yes, 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:56.160 let's just keep doing gestures. That'll be great for the pod. 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:03.120 So not only is renta hitman dot com obviously fake 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:05.520 if you do even the tiniest bit of poking around, 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:07.520 there are a lot of articles written about it. So 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:09.639 clearly these want to be killers aren't even doing a 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:13.960 second dual search, like is Renne hitman dot com a prank, 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.520 a trap, a joke? The absolute bare minimum amount of 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:20.000 research I would argue you should do before hiring a hitman. 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:23.280 Yes, I do like that Wendy message like, uh nice, 0:17:23.320 --> 0:17:25.840 try but I'm not trying to get arrested. And he's like, yeah, 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:27.520 but do you want our services? And she goes I 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:32.479 absolutely do. Like she was on the right path of 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:35.560 suspicion until someone was like, no, I swear, I'm real, 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:36.200 what do you need? 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:41.080 She just asked the guy like, she didn't do a search, 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:45.280 like have there been previous incidents? Like yeah, nope, just 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.479 asked Yeah. She's a very trusting lady, that Wendy. So 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:53.080 according to Bob, he received four hundred hitman hiring her questions, 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:56.040 by the way, and at least ten percent of them 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:58.639 more serious enough that the cops took them on. Yeah, 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:00.679 so he hands over the contact to the police. So 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:03.200 usually have an officer who steps in and finishes the job. 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:05.800 So the guy who went to the cafe after she 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:10.119 was arrested, Wendy confessed immediately. I mean, I think what 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.240 else was she going to do? Yeah? And she was 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.840 sentenced to seven to twenty years for quote, solicitation of 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.240 murder and using a computer to commit a crime, which 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:22.119 I did not know was the second charge. Okay, so 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:26.119 she's still serving time today at the women's Huron Valley 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:29.440 Correctional Facility in Ipsilanti, Michigan. 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:31.719 What happened to the kids? 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:35.880 I do not have resolution for the kids. You've asked 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:37.600 a question I cannot answer. Rarely happens. 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:38.960 Yeah, but I don't mean they kind of don't give 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:40.879 the kids to the dad. If the dad up and 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.320 left you got to assume he's not in it to 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:47.280 win it. Oh, man, this just took a sad turn. 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:50.040 Want her to consider these things, Josh, when you find 0:18:50.080 --> 0:18:51.280 these stories. 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:54.480 I know you're thinking, this website sounds fantastic if you 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:55.960 want to hire a hitman. But what if I want 0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:59.280 to be a hitman. So there's also a hiring section 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.639 on the web page. It's a job page where you 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:03.840 can apply to become a field operative for the most 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:08.200 prestigious problem resolution organization in the world. Surely no one 0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:10.520 will fall for that one, Roy right, Oh no, no 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:11.600 one's gonna apply for a job. 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:14.400 Man, it's in the thousands. 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:18.960 Allow me to introduce you to Josiah, Ernesto Garcia and 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:20.200 Air National Guardsman. 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:26.960 Ugh, this is the gift that keeps on giving. He's 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:28.240 from Hermitage, Tennessee. 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:31.160 Tennessee plays a big role in today's episode, even though 0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:33.520 the website's based in Michigan. I don't know why. So 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:37.680 in early twenty twenty three, Josiah struggling to find a job. 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:40.679