Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim.
Speaker 2: And give us time and a termino.
Speaker 3: And Gabe aid, we want to send you off inside.
Speaker 1: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 3: We scared her?
Speaker 2: Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Now? Porn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do your need.
Speaker 1: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 2: This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Hello, my friend Karen.
Speaker 2: Hello Chris. Are you pretty good? How's your day?
Speaker 1: My day has been great. I died a couple pairs
Speaker 1: of pants bright red by accident. Oh, I was just experimenting,
Speaker 1: but you know, so I got a few pairs of
Speaker 1: red pants.
Speaker 4: Wait, so experimenting sounds like you tried something, but so
Speaker 4: it wasn't You had pink socks with your white jeans.
Speaker 1: I had a pair of gray pants, and I had
Speaker 1: a pair of green pants, and I thought I'd add
Speaker 1: a little bit of red, just to experiment, and they
Speaker 1: became both very red pants. So it works very well.
Speaker 1: Very strong dye.
Speaker 4: And what are you envisioning your future plant for two
Speaker 4: pairs of red pants to be.
Speaker 1: Well, I think my future involves having nothing but red pants.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to be that guy. I'm willing to
Speaker 1: try anything.
Speaker 4: Now, people will think that you're from France or Germany.
Speaker 4: I just want to warn you that that's very European.
Speaker 1: Red pants.
Speaker 2: Pants is kinny.
Speaker 1: And black and white striped turtlenecks.
Speaker 4: Yes, and a little mustache, yeah, cross body bag for men, sandals, Yes,
Speaker 4: I'm doing all that.
Speaker 2: Small round glasses.
Speaker 1: Yes, these, I'll start with these. Oh good, that's good podcasting.
Speaker 1: I'd show my new glasses.
Speaker 4: People love visuals on this podcast. We're different than other
Speaker 4: podcasts because people.
Speaker 2: Love the visuals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we usually describe them while driving, but now we
Speaker 1: describe them while sitting and there's less to describe. But
Speaker 1: we do not spare you any d tales. They are
Speaker 1: black frames and the lenses are small, and you should
Speaker 1: see them. I did a golf tournament, a real one,
Speaker 1: on Monday. It was at a private, fancy resort.
Speaker 2: Where are you rich?
Speaker 1: I'm everyone in it was a millionaire like. They all
Speaker 1: had named tags of a business that I was familiar with,
Speaker 1: and they were the ones that started that business. I
Speaker 1: drove into the parking lot and I felt like Beverly
Speaker 1: Hills cop because everyone scared at my car because it
Speaker 1: wasn't a brand new all wheel drive Maserati. But they
Speaker 1: were nice. Everyone was nice, and it was it was
Speaker 1: very fun. It was for the Heart Foundation. And at
Speaker 1: the end, I put my money in the pot for
Speaker 1: a chipping contest. It was just one hundred bucks, and
Speaker 1: the guy that went right before me chipped the ball
Speaker 1: right in the hole and got twenty five thousand dollars
Speaker 1: and he was he was a man that didn't need
Speaker 1: that money, and so he gave it back to the charity.
Speaker 1: And then I hit after him and I made it
Speaker 1: about halfway to the whole. It was lined. We did
Speaker 1: the chip off in the eating area, the dining banquet
Speaker 1: area still outside, but there was just a flag and
Speaker 1: lined with tables that were already set and people were
Speaker 1: dressed nice, and it was horrifying, and I chipped. I
Speaker 1: made it halfway and they all laughed because I said
Speaker 1: that was embarrassing, very loudly. Then they all laughed, and
Speaker 1: then that and then I went to my car and
Speaker 1: I cried a little bit, just a little, and so
Speaker 1: I was very close to winning twenty five thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: It sounds like you were halfway close to winning twenty five.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't win.
Speaker 1: I did win the tournament. Our team won.
Speaker 2: But congrasts.
Speaker 1: But that's that's the trophy, not the twenty five grand.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't matter because it was for a charity
Speaker 1: cause and so I did well.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: This is the second golf charity tournament story you've told
Speaker 4: me on this podcast, which makes me feel like you're
Speaker 4: slipping into a millionaire's golf underworld that I am uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Everyone, we went into this candlelit room. They had me
Speaker 1: put on a robe. What we chanted, Yes, this was
Speaker 1: all part of it. And tiny here to let you
Speaker 1: know about the inside underground golf world. And I'm still
Speaker 1: waiting to get picked up.
Speaker 2: Just be careful.
Speaker 4: Don't be going around being like millionaires are nice, you know,
Speaker 4: to everybody. You can't just go back to the list
Speaker 4: feelus golf course and talk like well.
Speaker 1: I was trying to be open minded, and I'm glad
Speaker 1: it was because they all were very sweet to me.
Speaker 1: It was very a very pleasant time. I'm glad thank you.
Speaker 1: That was an exciting story. There's a lot of twists
Speaker 1: and turns.
Speaker 4: The part where they made you get on the ground
Speaker 4: and play what was it? What was the thing from Succession?
Speaker 4: Piggy on the ground Hog on the ground.
Speaker 1: Hog on the stick? I don't know. I can't remember
Speaker 1: that Succession episode.
Speaker 2: Very disturbing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I thought you were going to tell me
Speaker 4: something like that. They made you wrestle something, no somebody else.
Speaker 1: They just everyone was nice to me and I could
Speaker 1: have won twenty five thousand dollars, but I didn't. That's all.
Speaker 1: It's all. I don't need that kind of money. Very
Speaker 1: excited for our guests today.
Speaker 4: Karen, I am too. I'm her number one fan. I
Speaker 4: think I told her that on Twitter one time.
Speaker 1: I was just listening to her album The Hits, and
Speaker 1: I related to very many of the jokes, and so
Speaker 1: I'm going to bring up those jokes and it will
Speaker 1: be very fun for her and for me.
Speaker 2: People love that when you quote.
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell some of her jokes my version
Speaker 1: of them back to her, and I think that will
Speaker 1: be fun.
Speaker 2: She plays clubs and colleges all over this contry.
Speaker 4: You know her from television shows you know her from
Speaker 4: her own comedy specials. She has live comedy in New
Speaker 4: York City, and we know if you can make it there,
Speaker 4: you can make it anywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, Please welcome
Speaker 4: to the podcast. Joe Firestone, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: What this is really a nice vibe in here?
Speaker 2: Do you like that in this zoom? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really I feel like I'm in California.
Speaker 2: Hey, where are you in real life?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm in Saint Louis where it's like twenty five
Speaker 3: degrees it's so cold. It's like everybody says high then
Speaker 3: it's just not. But this is different. This feels different. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's good. Are you both in California?
Speaker 1: We are?
Speaker 3: We are.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It really does feel like you're a California.
Speaker 4: Friendship because because we're kind of casual, kind of like Stoner's, You're.
Speaker 3: Like casual, but it's warm, there's a warm. It's really
Speaker 3: it's pleasn't listen. I really I understand. I understand why
Speaker 3: you have listeners now, and I understand why you're gonna
Speaker 3: get more listeners every.
Speaker 2: Episode after this episode.
Speaker 3: After this episode especially, but you know, I think it's
Speaker 3: gonna be It's really it really makes you feel like, well,
Speaker 3: these are.
Speaker 1: Okay, things are going to be okay.
Speaker 2: That's the best review we've ever gotten.
Speaker 3: It's really good.
Speaker 1: Do you have comedy concerts in Saint Louis?
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 1: What are are you performing? Are you performing stand up?
Speaker 3: I'm sorry about that, that's of course, that's what you're asking.
Speaker 3: I was doing one show and there was a festival
Speaker 3: and I did it was one night and I did it.
Speaker 3: And then I live here, or I grew up here,
Speaker 3: and so I had to take my dog on an airplane,
Speaker 3: and so I thought, well, might as well not do
Speaker 3: that twice in one month, and so I just stayed
Speaker 3: here until after Thanksgiving. So it's day we're on day four.
Speaker 2: Good times yep, day four, Yeah, day four.
Speaker 3: They're fourteen.
Speaker 4: And so the temple was the temperature like in the
Speaker 4: twenty fives when you landed?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2: Hold ready for that, because.
Speaker 3: No, my grandpa told it was eighty. My grandpa told
Speaker 3: me it was eighty degree. And it's thirty. It was
Speaker 3: thirty when I got here.
Speaker 1: Was he going by Celsias?
Speaker 3: That's the only explanation. But even then, it's it's so cold.
Speaker 3: I don't know what all my sex are just it
Speaker 3: feels like not wearing sacks. It's so cold, and you
Speaker 3: experienced this kind of cold recently. It's so bad.
Speaker 1: I believe you because you're indoors right now and you
Speaker 1: seem quite bundled up with a scarf.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just drafty.
Speaker 2: It's a real adjust well because normally you live in
Speaker 2: New York. Is that crazy?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's it's not like it doesn't get cold there,
Speaker 4: but it just hadn't really gotten cold yet. Yeah, so
Speaker 4: you kind of left more autumnal weather to go into
Speaker 4: what sound it's like a polar vortex.
Speaker 3: It's a polar vortex just nor easter. Something's happen like
Speaker 3: it was basically like you know that, like you know,
Speaker 3: when you're sweating on your way to the airport, you
Speaker 3: can't fathom that wherever you're going is going to be
Speaker 3: different than sweating. Yes, that's what happened to me.
Speaker 2: That's you, That's what.
Speaker 3: Happened to me.
Speaker 1: I think we need to find out why your grandpa's
Speaker 1: lying to you.
Speaker 3: That's what Yeah, but you get him on this podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, where is the can he come on?
Speaker 4: Give me? Can he explain himself? Is he a type
Speaker 4: of person who would want to explain himself or no.
Speaker 3: You know, I think he'd stand by whatever he lied
Speaker 3: to me about. I think he would really double down maybe,
Speaker 3: But he's managed to go the whole pandemic, not one
Speaker 3: touch and zoom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's smarter than all of us, I bet.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine it's easier for Grandpa's to do that,
Speaker 1: to stay away from the zoom?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it must be an age thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just think about the times I go, uh,
Speaker 4: because I'm from northern California, when I go up there
Speaker 4: and I don't prepare correctly, or there's been times and
Speaker 4: I've gone there and then had to stay way longer
Speaker 4: than what I packed for and I end up wearing
Speaker 4: weird clothes of my sisters that she stopped wearing like
Speaker 4: eight years ago, but doesn't get rid of. She just
Speaker 4: leaves them in her closet. So I have some weird
Speaker 4: like sweater from coals that goes past your knees or whatever,
Speaker 4: and that are you going to be collecting warm clothes
Speaker 4: out of your grandfather's closet? Do you get to get
Speaker 4: some old coats or anything?
Speaker 1: Grandpa sweaters?
Speaker 3: Oh, Grandpa's Well, I was. I found this sweater in
Speaker 3: my closet and I was like, well, this is a
Speaker 3: nice sweater. Why did I leave this here for ten
Speaker 3: years ago? And then I put it on and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, oh, it's like you I have a
Speaker 3: sweater where you're like, this makes me look like the
Speaker 3: worst of any human. It's like, yes, I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 3: It looks like a normal sweater. And then I put
Speaker 3: it on. Terrific it it's basically like aligned. I don't
Speaker 3: know if I can say this word, but basically it's
Speaker 3: like it's like basically the sweater cuts off right at
Speaker 3: the pubis.
Speaker 1: Sure, it's okay, you can say that.
Speaker 2: No, that's fine because you're a doctor.
Speaker 3: Well I'm an doctor. It just right at the pubists.
Speaker 3: And I don't even know where that is exactly, but
Speaker 3: I know that's where those sweater stops. And it's just
Speaker 3: a fit that nobody's supposed to nobody's supposed to wear
Speaker 3: sweater to the pubist. It is either blow the pubist,
Speaker 3: or above the pubists or up there.
Speaker 4: Yeah you don't want to hit it, you don't want
Speaker 4: to put a sweater arrow toward it?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, well we're not trying to go bowling.
Speaker 2: You might have to while you're there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for real, But that sweater, I gotta gowl you better.
Speaker 3: I want to find my true love.
Speaker 1: I get very excited this time of year because I
Speaker 1: have quite a collection of sweaters. But I am particular
Speaker 1: about how they are in the pubis area or just
Speaker 1: the waist area, the wast, the Diane Wast.
Speaker 2: Area there wears a lot of sweaters.
Speaker 1: Think of any movie with Diane Weast, what is she wearing.
Speaker 2: She loves a long sweater, short hair, straight sweat.
Speaker 1: We can have it pillowing right above the waistline, now,
Speaker 1: can we?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No, no, you're not well.
Speaker 3: But I'd rather I mean, can you imagine having long
Speaker 3: hair and a short twitter.
Speaker 2: That's the life.
Speaker 3: She made the right decision.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd rather have short hair in a long sweater,
Speaker 2: for sure.
Speaker 4: I did buy a winter coat that just reminded me
Speaker 4: when you're saying the wor shape, the worst shape ever
Speaker 4: where I just wanted a straight winter coat, not double breasted.
Speaker 4: I just wanted it to have like three buttons down
Speaker 4: the middle, straight down.
Speaker 2: But I'm not straight down.
Speaker 4: And that's the thing I always always forget, even though
Speaker 4: I've basically had the same body since I was twelve,
Speaker 4: and the shape I took on putting that coat on it.
Speaker 2: Was so hilarious bad because.
Speaker 4: It was almost like in the front it looked okay,
Speaker 4: and then when I turned to the side, it just
Speaker 4: it like billowed out in the worst way.
Speaker 2: Or I was just like, what was I thinking?
Speaker 1: Is it because you're standing above a Marilyn Monroe air vent.
Speaker 2: That's what it is. I put my fan on the
Speaker 2: floor to try on on my coat.
Speaker 1: You gotta be careful where you stop on a sidewalk.
Speaker 4: There's just an idea sometimes that I get where I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna cover all this up and that will
Speaker 4: be the solution, and it isn't the solution. And I
Speaker 4: love that the young women of today are like, not
Speaker 4: only am I not going to cover it up, You're
Speaker 4: going to drink in every inch of my body. Where
Speaker 4: It's like I just was not raised in that era.
Speaker 3: There's I used to live in this, in this neighborhood.
Speaker 3: There was this store there in the first many seasons,
Speaker 3: there was this item in the front of the store,
Speaker 3: and it was the best way I could describe it
Speaker 3: is queer buttons. Guest buttons, no fabric, the buttons were
Speaker 3: connected and it was a vest.
Speaker 1: What like clear like it was made of plastic, transparent.
Speaker 3: Plastic Yeah, like basically like plastic clear coins touched together
Speaker 3: with metal and it was a vest. And I was like.
Speaker 3: And then I finally walked by with somebody who was
Speaker 3: fashionable and I was like, what what are these? What
Speaker 3: is that? And she's like, you wear that plane? No,
Speaker 3: you wear that plane? Wow?
Speaker 4: So like it's your shirt, your shirt, but that's all
Speaker 4: you get plane.
Speaker 1: I got a sweater vest, my first sweater vest. I
Speaker 1: saw it and I liked it, and I bought it,
Speaker 1: and I keep getting reprimanded for wearing a T shirt
Speaker 1: under it. Apparently in my neighborhood, all all the friends
Speaker 1: and passerbys unsolicited, We'll say that's a sweat you need
Speaker 1: to show off your arms with wo like a muscle shirt,
Speaker 1: and I'm not willing to do that.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: That style is so specific too.
Speaker 1: But I've gotten so much feedback, like what's with the
Speaker 1: sleeves under there? You got to rock. I don't know
Speaker 1: why this neighborhood wants to see my arms. They're nothing
Speaker 1: to write home about.
Speaker 2: Would you say over five people have given you that feedback.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm going to go ahead and say half a dozen.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Now it's a skateboard brand that is
Speaker 2: over fun, that is.
Speaker 1: Kind of a skateboard style now that preppy but with
Speaker 1: an edge to it. And so I think having a
Speaker 1: sweater vest and having no shirt underneath it's a very
Speaker 1: specific but I'm not kidding a recent skate style. That's
Speaker 1: where it's coming from. Wow, I'm not getting this kind
Speaker 1: of feedback from like people outside that world.
Speaker 4: But just like Joe's button vest, button coin vest, your
Speaker 4: sweater vest, I would not like to be experiencing that
Speaker 4: material on my skins directly.
Speaker 1: It's itchy. It's not percent cotton, Like, don't you know
Speaker 1: this is a polly wool a galvanized Yeah yeah, no
Speaker 1: in the chest? Dare I say the nipples? I hate
Speaker 1: scratchy nipple shirts. I'm sorry that I went there, but
Speaker 1: we already said pupils.
Speaker 2: You went, oh you, I really have to get discussed wicked.
Speaker 3: They're just a wicked reference.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, it's a challenging time of year.
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, but is it like in la is
Speaker 3: it kind of just like but you're always kind of
Speaker 3: like do you really ever have to wear a.
Speaker 2: Coach Sometimes a window kickup.
Speaker 1: Yeah, every once in a while there's a wind that
Speaker 1: there's a yeah, you're scanning, it's coming from the sidewalk.
Speaker 1: But I uh, it will get in the forties maybe
Speaker 1: night cool, And that's the money. That's it's I'm not bragging,
Speaker 1: It's just I am. I have been cold lately. I
Speaker 1: do have a space heater blowing on me my face, yah.
Speaker 4: Because we're so especially lately, like the last couple of years,
Speaker 4: it hasn't gotten that cold at all. So this year,
Speaker 4: all of a sudden, it was like hot, hot, hot,
Speaker 4: and it wouldn't cool down until look what Chris like
Speaker 4: end of October and then suddenly it when it drops,
Speaker 4: you're just like beside yourself, and you don't have any
Speaker 4: proper clothes. Like I had to order get online and
Speaker 4: find slippers and get them like overnighted because suddenly I
Speaker 4: couldn't wear flip flops all day and night, which is
Speaker 4: what I've been doing for like literally three years straight.
Speaker 4: And then I'm like I need to cover my feet,
Speaker 4: which is also uncomfortable when you first start having to
Speaker 4: cover your feet again. It's been and I turned the
Speaker 4: heater on. It's very strange for la Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I turned I geater on and somebody it wasn't me,
Speaker 1: has been putting hair in it. Apparently very much reactive
Speaker 1: burnt hair like that time. We're we're on vacation in Calfor,
Speaker 1: im from Montana originally, so one of the trips we
Speaker 1: went on vacation, my sister was blow drying her hair
Speaker 1: and there was a giant cricket that had been living
Speaker 1: in this hair dryer, my great grandmother's hair dryer, and
Speaker 1: it smelled and burned, and a flaming cricket flew in
Speaker 1: her hair and did not stop being on fire. It
Speaker 1: was horrifying. We all screamed, and I've been afraid of
Speaker 1: hair dryers. You won't see me using a hair dryer.
Speaker 1: There's flaming bugs that shoot out of them. Did you
Speaker 1: know that?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: Well, here that reminds me, and it's not a direct link,
Speaker 4: but I'm going to share this one anyway. That reminds
Speaker 4: me of the night I was sitting at the kitchen
Speaker 4: table typing something up, very focused, really getting some stuff done,
Speaker 4: and I just had a weird feeling and I looked
Speaker 4: down on my shoulder and there's it's a praying mantas
Speaker 4: sitting there staring at me, and.
Speaker 2: When I look down like this, his.
Speaker 1: Head turned like that, eye contact.
Speaker 4: Like turned and we were looking right into each other's eyes.
Speaker 4: And then I screamed like an absolute lunatic, which I
Speaker 4: don't think I'm that type of person. I'm not like
Speaker 4: super skiv you that way. And normally I would be
Speaker 4: like I think if it was a cricket, I would
Speaker 4: have been calmer yah, But praying Manta says looked like aliens.
Speaker 1: It was very scary, and they always take it as
Speaker 1: an opportunity to slowly shadow box like they're ready to go,
Speaker 1: They're ready to throw down.
Speaker 3: I think it is like what is kind of disheartening,
Speaker 3: Like I'm sure you both are you know, doing getting
Speaker 3: owned to therapy, getting changed, But I think that what
Speaker 3: is really frustrating is that like even you can go
Speaker 3: to therapy for years and then those moments happen, you're
Speaker 3: gonna scream everything. Like every time something happens that I'm
Speaker 3: afraid of, I go like this and I don't even try,
Speaker 3: but it just happens every time I mind how much
Speaker 3: I go.
Speaker 4: Whoaa, You can't control just your plain old human reaction, though,
Speaker 4: but I.
Speaker 3: Wish I could. I wish I could change it for
Speaker 3: the whole world, because it's not it's not appropriate at all.
Speaker 1: That's way better than screaming a low whoa whoa woe.
Speaker 1: It sounds very calm.
Speaker 2: Can you tell us a whoa whoa woe story that's
Speaker 2: happened recently, Like.
Speaker 3: My dog will get attacked. I go whoa, whoa whoa.
Speaker 3: I got mugged once. I go whoa, whoa whoa, Like
Speaker 3: you just really can't do anything else. And I think
Speaker 3: that if I could change one thing, I mean, you
Speaker 3: know the list, you know, you go into therapy with
Speaker 3: the whole list, say change these, but that would be
Speaker 3: at the top.
Speaker 2: You can the list of the therapist. Change these? Please
Speaker 2: within three years?
Speaker 3: Do it? You don't check it out?
Speaker 1: Well, there's just so much to cover with a therapist,
Speaker 1: and you could be with the same one for years,
Speaker 1: and praying mantis has never come up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, one time I was in an Airbnb and I
Speaker 3: heard scratching. I heard scratching up above. Whooped up? Saw
Speaker 3: a little Paul come out? What little pap come out?
Speaker 1: Did the paw have kind of fingers? Because that's a
Speaker 1: raccoon finger. That was a raccoon paw, was it?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I never saw the rest of the body.
Speaker 4: Because you're too busy saying whoa, whoa, wohoa.
Speaker 1: Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa paw fingers.
Speaker 3: That's the only one with fingers. Are you sure?
Speaker 1: I if you really? And Karen and I talked about
Speaker 1: raccoons and what I'm going to go ahead and just
Speaker 1: call hands way too often on this podcast. We're both
Speaker 1: yeah the way, there's a famous one. I'm sure you've
Speaker 1: seen it, Joe. It's a it's a raccoon scooping up
Speaker 1: a bunch of cat food and running away on its
Speaker 1: hind legs. It might as well have been wearing a tracksuit.
Speaker 1: It's the cutest thing ever. But they're unpredictable. They'll jump
Speaker 1: right in your face. I've learned from a handful of
Speaker 1: comedy movies. I fear them and they're not. The reason
Speaker 1: I'm scared of them is they aren't scared of humans. No, Yeah,
Speaker 1: at least a bear. It's like avoids you raccoons.
Speaker 2: What was your raccoon? Paul reaching down for.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he just was kind of like, I'm
Speaker 3: up here. I just kind of tricky thing. What I'll
Speaker 3: tell you that tell you this is that I was
Speaker 3: you know, I was saying, oh, you got to get
Speaker 3: this thing out of here, right, And so they moved
Speaker 3: me out forbid, and then I came back. When I
Speaker 3: came back, there was a pair of underpants.
Speaker 1: No ground, Please tell me it was the raccoons underpant.
Speaker 2: Little tiny guys.
Speaker 1: Oh god, that'd be great. And I'm afraid they were human.
Speaker 3: They were a beautiful woman's underpants.
Speaker 1: Oh no, like they fell out of the guy's pocket.
Speaker 1: I'm just dancing. But I'm afraid that's what happened.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's hard to know what happened. But you know,
Speaker 3: when you see a pair of underpants, you think, oh,
Speaker 3: a beautiful woman.
Speaker 4: Worthy some gorgeous polyester, maybe like pink polyester.
Speaker 3: It's just beautiful. I do believe it added like kind
Speaker 3: of a leopard thing. Oh, but you know, just beautiful.
Speaker 1: I hate talking visuals, but right I'm currently wearing leopard
Speaker 1: underpants and leopard pants both. Yeah, it's just funny that
Speaker 1: you mentioned that. Did I tell you, Karen, about the
Speaker 1: time that I was doing a corporate.
Speaker 4: Sorry, yeah, here we go.
Speaker 1: They're green. Wow, and then my underpant.
Speaker 3: Oh, oh my goodness.
Speaker 2: He really is the listener. He really is. A lot
Speaker 2: of people think.
Speaker 1: I'd tell tales out at school or then I'm one
Speaker 1: of these liars. But I'm telling you, I'm wearing two liars.
Speaker 1: A leopard. Yeah.
Speaker 2: A lot of people, a lot of millionaires.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was just running into these fact checkers, and I
Speaker 1: always have to show them my underpants. I was doing
Speaker 1: a corporate show for some home mortgage company years ago.
Speaker 1: It was before, it was around two thousand and seven.
Speaker 1: I think I caused the financial crisis.
Speaker 3: That was you.
Speaker 1: That was me. It wasn't Fanny May and Ralphie May,
Speaker 1: Fanny Mac. I don't you know what I'm saying this.
Speaker 1: They asked me at this private comedy show to do
Speaker 1: an impression of their boss. So they brought a gray
Speaker 1: wig and a long trench coat, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I haven't even talked to him. Just be have a
Speaker 1: low voice, like you smoke a lot of cigars and
Speaker 1: be really confident and just say fire some people or something,
Speaker 1: just because everyone's kind of scared of the guy. And
Speaker 1: I put my hand in his real jacket pocket and
Speaker 1: there was women's underwear in the pocket, and I made
Speaker 1: a joke like, oh, my secretary needs to I improvised
Speaker 1: the wrong thing because I think, in fact, that's exactly
Speaker 1: what the case was, and his wife ran out. I
Speaker 1: ruined Christmas. I ruined this private event I was. I've
Speaker 1: never hired back at the Addison improv ever. Again, I've
Speaker 1: never worked there since. I ruined a marriage. I caused
Speaker 1: the financial crisis.
Speaker 2: Certainly did not ruin that marriage.
Speaker 1: You were merely already on the rocks.
Speaker 2: He ruined his own mind.
Speaker 1: He wanted to get caught, but then had this jacket.
Speaker 1: It wasn't the jacket he was wearing. He didn't know this.
Speaker 1: He wasn't like, oh, we be funny. I never got
Speaker 1: a clear story as to what happened. I just know
Speaker 1: he and his wife were not there at the end
Speaker 1: of the show. That just I don't think I've ever
Speaker 1: told you that one, Karen, No, I've never heard. I
Speaker 1: usually like a broken record with my stories goo, and
Speaker 1: that one is a fresh, never.
Speaker 2: Before fresh hot goss but from years ago, but still fresh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, fresh in my mind. I've suppressed it until now.
Speaker 4: Because when you said you reached into the pocket, hmm, Joe.
Speaker 4: I don't know if you did this, but my comedy
Speaker 4: brain went through the rolodex of the possibilities, and I
Speaker 4: was hoping, maybe a little bag of cocaine something fun
Speaker 4: for Christmas? Yeah, like you go, oh, you shouldn't have that.
Speaker 4: But also, at the same time, if you're some sort
Speaker 4: of running a company, maybe.
Speaker 1: That's I could have been clever and said let it snow,
Speaker 1: am I right? You know, like, oh that's so clever.
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, what would you say, Okay, let's just kind
Speaker 3: of go for this. What would you say, he's had
Speaker 3: a big bag of pot in there.
Speaker 1: We all know the Christmas colors are are red and green,
Speaker 1: but this green is gonna send you to jail. You
Speaker 1: can't buy anything with it. And then they'd start to boo,
Speaker 1: will you really put me on the spot there, Joe?
Speaker 3: No, I think you did the perfect. No, you did perfect.
Speaker 4: You had to throw this is improv you had to
Speaker 4: throw something out. I know I would have said. I
Speaker 4: would have held it up and said what's up, cheech
Speaker 4: and chong.
Speaker 1: See that's way better. It's relatable.
Speaker 2: But I had it literally half a minute more than
Speaker 2: you did.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I got to sit there and think while you were talking.
Speaker 1: You should have yelled freeze and tapped my shoulder and
Speaker 1: taken over Joe.
Speaker 4: What would your what would you are? Off the cuff
Speaker 4: remark have been about the bag of weeds.
Speaker 1: There's a handgun. Now I'm going to mix it up
Speaker 1: and changing.
Speaker 3: Oh oh it's a hand gun, yeah.
Speaker 1: A little tiny gold gun.
Speaker 3: Oh gold gun. Yeah, okay, maybe something kind of about
Speaker 3: Men in Black.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh, let's say somebody's about to shoot alien. Well I
Speaker 3: think I did too quick. Yeah, a pretty quick reference
Speaker 3: right at the tip of everybody's tongue.
Speaker 2: And topical or it'spicultural.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people are always watching that movie. When's the lesson?
Speaker 3: You watched Men in Black? In full?
Speaker 4: I can tell you actually, because it's the first time
Speaker 4: I watched it. Was the most recent time I watched it,
Speaker 4: so whenever. That was nineteen twenty, the year two thousand.
Speaker 4: But me and my sister and the guy was dating
Speaker 4: at the time. We're all at the movie theater together
Speaker 4: and the guy was kind of super low key, and
Speaker 4: my sister and I are like me, and I'm like
Speaker 4: her and she's like me. And when that part where
Speaker 4: the pug starts talking in the real deep voice, you
Speaker 4: know that part, and he's also he sings the song.
Speaker 2: He raps the song.
Speaker 4: My sister starts laughing so loud and so hard and
Speaker 4: she can't stop, like she it like just kind of
Speaker 4: tickled her funny bone perfectly, and she was laughing so
Speaker 4: hard that everyone else started laughing, and people weren't liking
Speaker 4: it that much, but she was like, and she if
Speaker 4: I bring it up to her, she starts laughing just
Speaker 4: as hard today twenty years later, because she's like, you're.
Speaker 3: Telling me that little dog didn't make me us.
Speaker 4: She still to this day thinks it's the funniest thing
Speaker 4: she's ever seen.
Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, you can really change. Everyone always wants me
Speaker 1: to see The Matrix and everyone loves that movie. And
Speaker 1: I was the only one that didn't because I saw
Speaker 1: that in the theater and there was a deaf person
Speaker 1: in the audience, so they had captions at the bottom,
Speaker 1: but they were coming up a little soon, so it
Speaker 1: would say, like, I think one of Keanu's lines and
Speaker 1: it is oki dokie, And so it said oki doki
Speaker 1: at the bottom for a long time, and then when
Speaker 1: he finally said it, everyone laughed like it was we
Speaker 1: were all watching a comedy. Everyone would laugh through all
Speaker 1: of the Matrix because of this caption snaff food and
Speaker 1: then and then years later everyone's like, oh, it's one
Speaker 1: of the best movies ever made. I'm like, but it's hilarious, right, No,
Speaker 1: only to me and the people I watched it with.
Speaker 3: It is amazing, though, I think, like, it's so much easier.
Speaker 3: I find it's like so much easier to watch comedy
Speaker 3: movies and comedy TV with a group. Like by myself,
Speaker 3: I find myself feeling like I should be in jail,
Speaker 3: Like I'm watching it and I'm like, and I enjoy it,
Speaker 3: and this is my face like straight line across the mount,
Speaker 3: and I just I can't seem to It's just so
Speaker 3: much easier to laugh around other people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's there. You feel insane if you're by yourself
Speaker 1: laughing in a room alone, no other people nearby. It
Speaker 1: seems like that's what someone rocking back and forth in
Speaker 1: a padded room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm with you on that.
Speaker 3: That. I just once, every couple of years, I'll watch
Speaker 3: Beet and like, I'll kind of forget it, but then
Speaker 3: the same joke makes me laugh for like ten minutes.
Speaker 3: But it's just this one joke. I think it's in
Speaker 3: season three, and it really gets me every time. I
Speaker 3: always forget it's coming and then I remember, Oh, it's
Speaker 3: coming in and I We had a good ten minute.
Speaker 2: Laugh at which one is it? Just say it?
Speaker 3: Well? She says she's trying to make small talk and
Speaker 3: her uh like Gary's kind of abandoned her and she's
Speaker 3: really desperately trying to make small talk. And she's like,
Speaker 3: someone says their name and she goes and I forget
Speaker 3: what the name is, but she goes, Oh, I wish
Speaker 3: I had a cousin with that name. Is that's the
Speaker 3: worst small tu That's the worst.
Speaker 4: That's I like jokes like that where when you hear it,
Speaker 4: the first thing that popped in my mind is whoever
Speaker 4: wrote that joke actually said that one time? Right, They're
Speaker 4: just like when you're going around a room like that,
Speaker 4: of like, what's the dumbest thing we could say here?
Speaker 4: And then everyone just starts saying the dumbest thing or
Speaker 4: the most embarrassing thing that.
Speaker 2: Held for years afterwards. Like one time in junior high,
Speaker 2: I said.
Speaker 1: This, Yeah, that was that was a day in the
Speaker 1: writing room where they all told embarrassing stories. And they
Speaker 1: probably had fun at their little table.
Speaker 2: I wish I had a guessin with that mad.
Speaker 3: A really special one that Yeah, but it just you
Speaker 3: do you both laugh at comedy?
Speaker 1: I do, I do, And I found I was paying
Speaker 1: attention to it more when we were all in quarantine
Speaker 1: and I was just said, I was monitoring my behavior
Speaker 1: pretty closely because I was really afraid I was going
Speaker 1: to go crazy. But I have to say I kind
Speaker 1: of enjoyed myself, and that included laughing out loud at
Speaker 1: a lot of things.
Speaker 3: Wow, yeah, wonderful.
Speaker 1: I laughed very The hardest I laughed was at that
Speaker 1: moment in Shit's Creek where the mom makes up that
Speaker 1: story about a biker that cut off all her daughter's
Speaker 1: hair because she's trying to scare off this guy that
Speaker 1: was going to give the hotel a bad review. And
Speaker 1: the story she comes up with all off the top
Speaker 1: of her head is. I watched it over and over
Speaker 1: and over, and I kept laughing at Catherine O'Hara's made
Speaker 1: up story. It is the funniest to me. That and
Speaker 1: her scat singing make me laugh the best, harder than
Speaker 1: anything that I can think of currently.
Speaker 4: Mine was if I may mine was please Arrested Development,
Speaker 4: because I've rewatched Arrested Development in the past three years.
Speaker 4: I think I've watched it eight times, and like the
Speaker 4: last time I went to start it again, I was
Speaker 4: like you, I think, I said out loud, like you,
Speaker 4: you've lost your mind. This is too many times. But
Speaker 4: it isn't too many times, because I think a lot
Speaker 4: like Veep, where they have such subtle jokes and so
Speaker 4: many jokes that you miss them entirely, like the first
Speaker 4: several times you watch them. So there's an said work
Speaker 4: Tobias David Cross is getting ready to go do a
Speaker 4: part on a like on an actual set, I think,
Speaker 4: and someone says, oh, do you have to bring your
Speaker 4: own costume or something like that, and he goes, oh,
Speaker 4: you know, these television shows, it's all about the detail.
Speaker 4: And then he opens up a cupboard and there's a
Speaker 4: used Starbucks cup. It's empty except for there's a used
Speaker 4: Starbucks cup on the second shelf, and he just sits
Speaker 4: there and then he just closes the cupboard and it
Speaker 4: is so subtle that the first time I saw it
Speaker 4: was like the third time I watched the series in
Speaker 4: its entirety, and I laughed.
Speaker 2: For so long.
Speaker 4: And then a little while later George Michael opens a
Speaker 4: different cupboard and he's like, he's just it's just his
Speaker 4: action while he's saying something else, and he reaches up.
Speaker 4: When he opens the cupboard, there's one nature velly granola
Speaker 4: bar sitting on a shelf and nothing else in the
Speaker 4: entire thing, and he just takes it down like that's
Speaker 4: his snack.
Speaker 2: It's so hilariously perfect.
Speaker 1: That makes me think that was something where again, someone
Speaker 1: hid that up there and it wasn't. They didn't know
Speaker 1: what was going to be there. That was another fun
Speaker 1: day in the writing room. God, I gotta get in
Speaker 1: one of these writing rooms.
Speaker 4: I mean, we can't actually be talking about hilarious television
Speaker 4: shows though, Joe without talking about Joe Para talks with you.
Speaker 1: I knew it.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, what a transition I was looking for kind
Speaker 3: of pro we're both very pro.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's just such a good show.
Speaker 4: I mean, tell us about everything about it that you
Speaker 4: feel and think.
Speaker 3: Please, Well, uh, they gave my dad his television debut.
Speaker 2: I love that amazing. M h wait what episode was
Speaker 2: the end?
Speaker 3: Was it the He's in the grocery Store episode He's
Speaker 3: plays Fred the sample guy he gives honey the honey
Speaker 3: ham that takes the honey amazing, and he got to
Speaker 3: fly in season three, so he he had a pretty
Speaker 3: good time all in all.
Speaker 2: So good And so you were on it and you
Speaker 2: wrote on it, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was kind of like I think at
Speaker 3: the time we were all like some of us had
Speaker 3: had like a like a couple of years of late
Speaker 3: night experience, but that was about it. Like the that
Speaker 3: was like the I think we had a combined maybe
Speaker 3: two years of television making that we had all together too, Yes,
Speaker 3: and so everybody we were all like, I can't believe
Speaker 3: it even got made because it was like we were
Speaker 3: just like a bunch of monkeys and typewriters like we were.
Speaker 3: Really it was. I think it was also just like Joe,
Speaker 3: he gets like very passionate about things, like like truly
Speaker 3: about beans or like rat wars, and like he won't
Speaker 3: stop talking about it. So then it's kind of the
Speaker 3: game is just like figuring out how to make the
Speaker 3: story around him actually being very passionate about a thing
Speaker 3: that I do believe no one else cares about.
Speaker 1: I want to assume and I do assume he's probably
Speaker 1: one hundred percent the person he is on that show
Speaker 1: in real life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he's like, you know, he's like a
Speaker 3: city you know, like he like, you know, he's like
Speaker 3: I think maybe he does grow tomatoes, but he's Yeah,
Speaker 3: i'd say he's a little you know, he's a he's
Speaker 3: a dirty comedian, just like the.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's even better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't I don't know. He might go
Speaker 3: to church.
Speaker 1: Hard to say, but yeah, he's just for the friendships
Speaker 1: he's built there.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, his friend group is through the church.
Speaker 3: But I don't know if he.
Speaker 4: Has no Yeah, it's to counterbalance the people he spends
Speaker 4: time with it at comedy shows. He has to the
Speaker 4: first time I ever met him was at a comedy
Speaker 4: show at Ron Lynch's Midnight show.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a great shows.
Speaker 2: It's the best. I miss it.
Speaker 4: It's I think it is. Actually I think he might
Speaker 4: be doing it at the Allegion.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if I'm not mistaken, it's a great show.
Speaker 4: But Joe was in town and he was doing a set. Now,
Speaker 4: I grew up on a street called Eucalyptus Avenue and
Speaker 4: it was way out in the country. Out it was
Speaker 4: like five miles out of town. And also it had
Speaker 4: an eucalyptus grove on it, so between our house and
Speaker 4: my aunt Jean's house was our next door neighbor, but
Speaker 4: they lived like half a mile away. We'd walk up
Speaker 4: the road and because of the eucalyptus grove, all the
Speaker 4: acorns would fall or whatever and there would be little
Speaker 4: caps on the ground and you would pick them up
Speaker 4: and whistle into them. And that was just like like
Speaker 4: it was no one even taught us how to do it.
Speaker 4: Every every kid knew how to do it. It was
Speaker 4: just kind of weirdly the thing. Joe Para gets on
Speaker 4: stage at Ron's show and he was just like, hello, everybody,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna teach you how to.
Speaker 2: Make a whistle out of an acorn cap.
Speaker 4: And I'm standing on the side just there to watch him,
Speaker 4: and I fucking started crying. It was it was I
Speaker 4: was like, whatever, whoever this guy is, whatever the fuck
Speaker 4: he is doing, I am so one hundred percent into it.
Speaker 4: And he literally taught everybody how to use an acorn
Speaker 4: cap to whistle and then left the stage. No one
Speaker 4: knew what the fuck was going on. They couldn't figure
Speaker 4: out if it was a character. They didn't know what
Speaker 4: and I was just like, yes, I'm here for this.
Speaker 2: It made me so.
Speaker 4: Fucking happy, and it was so wholesome and so sweet
Speaker 4: and also kind of that thing of like when people
Speaker 4: do stuff like that for me in laced into comedy
Speaker 4: shows where everybody's trying to be a bigger, tough guy,
Speaker 4: a cool girl, whatever, everybody's trying to be edgy or
Speaker 4: whatever thing they do, when it's run through with people
Speaker 4: who actually are just kind of showing up as themselves
Speaker 4: and like I have an idea, it's like, oh, this
Speaker 4: is what I got into it for.
Speaker 2: This is like I don't know.
Speaker 4: It made me so happy, and then like basically everything
Speaker 4: I've seen him do after that, I'm just like, that's
Speaker 4: fucking acorn cap. Now he's on TV. But actually it
Speaker 4: did not seem like a TV show that people who
Speaker 4: didn't know how to make TV made, because there's some
Speaker 4: episodes of that when he babiesits that little fucking girl
Speaker 4: and they do fireworks. It's the most beautiful episode of
Speaker 4: television I've seen. Like there's so much good shit in
Speaker 4: that show.
Speaker 2: It's so good.
Speaker 3: It's like everybody had to learn really quick, and I, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's a I think that given what we what we
Speaker 3: knew beforehand, Yeah, I think it'll turned out better than
Speaker 3: we it should have. But it was it was definitely
Speaker 3: like a big learning curve. It was like also, the
Speaker 3: acting was just like kind of more than a lot
Speaker 3: of us had ever done. It's like we were used
Speaker 3: to doing like web series and stuff. So it's like
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, I gotta stay here forever. I used
Speaker 3: to snacks. You're like, do I get to eat all
Speaker 3: these snacks? And then you eat all the snacks and
Speaker 3: then you're like, I'm sick, and they're like, you can't
Speaker 3: leave because I ate too many. You know, you just
Speaker 3: kind of don't know yet, right. I Once I ate
Speaker 3: a big it was a break. I ate a big
Speaker 3: bag of cheetos, kind of like you're really not supposed
Speaker 3: to do that as an actor. Then you have orange
Speaker 3: hands in.
Speaker 1: The next take on camera.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and your character didn't really go to eat.
Speaker 2: Cheetos, So that's a continuity issue.
Speaker 3: There's a continuity issue that's pretty pretty bright, and so.
Speaker 4: You wipe them off on the back of your of
Speaker 4: your chinos and then there's that problem.
Speaker 3: Yeah, then you got orange. You know, it's just kind
Speaker 3: of where's the orange gonna go?
Speaker 1: It's tricky, you know, and you try and suck it
Speaker 1: off your fingers and it just turns to cement orange cement.
Speaker 4: M h.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 3: Have you figured out how to eat cheetos in a
Speaker 3: way that's okay to do in front of other people?
Speaker 1: If you don't mind me going first. I get a
Speaker 1: paper towel and I put them in the paper towel
Speaker 1: in my cupped hand and I just kind of scoop
Speaker 1: them in with a paper.
Speaker 2: Towel hand with the mouth like you're a horse, like
Speaker 2: a horse.
Speaker 1: Like I'm feeding myself, but myself is a horse, and
Speaker 1: I instead of hoofs, i've hands. It works great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you did it in front of other people.
Speaker 1: I know. I think for me, and I think they
Speaker 1: should be for everyone. And cheeto consumption is a private matter.
Speaker 3: M m.
Speaker 1: It should be dealt with without others. But you end
Speaker 1: up at a party and it's always in a bowl,
Speaker 1: and then I want to hug people.
Speaker 4: Well, here's the thing. When they're in a bowl at
Speaker 4: a party, there's too much moisture in the air. And
Speaker 4: so if you think you're going to enjoy one that
Speaker 4: you pull out of a public bowl your high as
Speaker 4: a kite, which actually might help. But for me, if
Speaker 4: I were to do that, I would only eat one
Speaker 4: and I'd be like amazing, and I pretend that's all
Speaker 4: I wanted, when in fact I had just started that
Speaker 4: sodium like harrow and hit where then you just want
Speaker 4: eight hundred. So I would probably avoid that publicly, but
Speaker 4: I'll drive it.
Speaker 2: I would go straight out of the bag.
Speaker 4: And for some reason, because of the way that Cheetos
Speaker 4: are shaped, because.
Speaker 2: I only like the crunchy ones.
Speaker 3: Yes, well you're normal, right, Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2: I think the puffed ones are weird, Yeah, too artificial.
Speaker 4: I hold them and then I hold my other three
Speaker 4: fingers up like a like a fine British lady. So
Speaker 4: I kind of eat them like that, like hmmm, dainty,
Speaker 4: but like a dainty pig.
Speaker 1: I hold mine like a little club because every Cheeto
Speaker 1: reminds me of Captain Caveman's little club.
Speaker 2: And so you hold it with your whole fist.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I go Captain cave And then I throw
Speaker 1: it into my mouth like I'm striking my face. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's a private. Well why are these parties you go
Speaker 1: to all wet in the air? Is it because of
Speaker 1: the dancing and kissing?
Speaker 4: Yep, yep, they're dirty dancing parties where everybody re enacts.
Speaker 1: High octane makeout parties.
Speaker 3: That's awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to come and go to the parties.
Speaker 4: You've got a common party with Joe. How do you
Speaker 4: eat Cheetos?
Speaker 3: You know, here's what I found that I the last
Speaker 3: two times I've seen them in public, I have eaten them,
Speaker 3: and then I, no matter what, something is wrong with
Speaker 3: my hands because it just it's almost like none of
Speaker 3: the cheese remains on the chip into my body. It's
Speaker 3: it's all on the hand. And so then I kind
Speaker 3: of wonder if there's a way to get it off,
Speaker 3: And sometimes I think, well, maybe there's a way to
Speaker 3: get it off, just if I go like this enough,
Speaker 3: you know, and that's I think that. You know that
Speaker 3: people can hear that, right, Yeah, but it's it doesn't
Speaker 3: come and I have to excuse myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah you could. You could rub your tips together and
Speaker 1: roll off the tiny little cheese worms. That's right, tiny
Speaker 1: little cheese worms. I'm sorry, that's I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: I was at a loss for words, but it is
Speaker 3: rubbing your tips together to get off the little cheese worms.
Speaker 3: That was the expression I was looking for, desperately.
Speaker 4: Searching for that express, that very well known expression.
Speaker 3: Rubbing your tips together to get off the little cheese worm.
Speaker 2: Ridiculous.
Speaker 4: Is there anything that you be in Saint Louis that
Speaker 4: you're excited because it's funny. My friend just came back
Speaker 4: from Saint Louis and he made me and my other
Speaker 4: friend Saint Louis style pizza and he brought back the
Speaker 4: pizza crusts, the sauce, and he bought that special cheese.
Speaker 3: You know, don't you think of it? Provail? What do
Speaker 3: you think of it?
Speaker 2: I thought it was really good.
Speaker 4: It was almost like having an appetizer for dinner, which
Speaker 4: I'm always down for anything that changes it up like
Speaker 4: that in such a fantastic way.
Speaker 2: But I really loved it.
Speaker 4: And he actually bought it there, packed it with ice
Speaker 4: packs and brought it home to us.
Speaker 3: I know, Yeah, Saint Louis is like really, I'd say
Speaker 3: the biggest, the proudest part of Saint Louis is the
Speaker 3: heavy ash.
Speaker 2: Really are there other ones?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, there's a deep friedli they call toasted gravid at.
Speaker 1: The at the Helium there. Yeah, you had it.
Speaker 3: The toast, that's a very good one. And there's this
Speaker 3: thing called Joey butter cake and then kind of like.
Speaker 2: My friend brought us that. It's on. I have half
Speaker 2: in my kitchen right now.
Speaker 3: Well, take a good friend.
Speaker 2: I know Zachny Towers.
Speaker 3: He's as I was on the same festival as him.
Speaker 2: Oh was it in Saint Louis.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he he's from Saint Louis too, I just learned.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the friends. He's the funniest.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Last time I sent Saint Louis, I hung out with
Speaker 1: the guy from Perfect Strangers. That was not belky.
Speaker 3: How did that happen?
Speaker 1: He's from there, and I hung out with his friends
Speaker 1: and I think someone put something in my drink. It
Speaker 1: wasn't him, but I don't remember most of the night,
Speaker 1: and I took many ubers to different parts of town.
Speaker 1: It was a learning experience, but again rich, very wealthy financiers,
Speaker 1: and I trust I told you. Until then I had
Speaker 1: to follow the paper trail and see what I had
Speaker 1: done that night.
Speaker 3: Oh, be careful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I love him. I love the city. I
Speaker 1: had a great time. I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Other than being.
Speaker 3: Drugged, there's well yeah, other than that that, it does
Speaker 3: have so much to offer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and maybe I was offered those things, but I
Speaker 1: was so out of it, I don't recall much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's this, uh, there's a great grocery store called Schnooks.
Speaker 3: That's the big one. Listen, there's a lot going on Lewis,
Speaker 3: for sure. You know, there's there's just so much at
Speaker 3: all times.
Speaker 1: You could go in the elevator and the top of
Speaker 1: that arch, yes, you can't. It's like a walk of Vader.
Speaker 1: It goes sideways at one point, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Mike Rain works there, and she told me that
Speaker 3: she can't drink coffee when she works at the top
Speaker 3: of it because there's no bathroom.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 3: So once you're up, only four people can go up
Speaker 3: at a time, and only four people can go down
Speaker 3: at a time.
Speaker 1: Wow. It's like a smoke jumpers lookout station.
Speaker 3: And so you can't go to the bathroom. There's no bathroom.
Speaker 2: Wow, there's no way I could do that.
Speaker 1: Does that arch ever get struck by lightning?
Speaker 3: Not that I know, but they thought, you know, big
Speaker 3: did you see They didn't think those are two arches
Speaker 3: were going.
Speaker 2: To meet in the middle when they built it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they built up the sides on both sides, and
Speaker 3: they nobody thought I was going to meet.
Speaker 1: Really, they didn't have a plan.
Speaker 3: You know. I think that maybe just a lot of
Speaker 3: people doubted.
Speaker 2: A lot of negativity.
Speaker 3: They say, show me, show me it's gonna Is that.
Speaker 2: What they mean by that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, show me that arch is actually going.
Speaker 2: To Yeah, let me see for my shoe. Yeah. And
Speaker 2: did you have fun at that festival?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, who's got a little doggy? I got a
Speaker 3: little doggy here?
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. I put my dogs want to be
Speaker 4: in here with me when I record, but they are
Speaker 4: too noisy. And then I put them outside and they
Speaker 4: stay good for like thirty five minutes. And then my dog, Frank,
Speaker 4: he just can't take it anymore. He has to punish
Speaker 4: me for leaving him out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my dog punishes me when I take a shower, screaming.
Speaker 3: He started screaming.
Speaker 2: What kind of dog do you have?
Speaker 3: It's like a Yorky in Honey, I blew up the kid, big, huge,
Speaker 3: huge Yorky, too.
Speaker 2: Big, a gigantic Yorky.
Speaker 3: Yeah. About eighteen pounds.
Speaker 1: Do yor kids have like Wilford Brimley mustaches.
Speaker 3: Someone just recently said that, like he kind of looks
Speaker 3: like really hot possum.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, I'm not familiar with the hot possum breed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like a sexy possum.
Speaker 1: Oh a sexy sensual possum. Let's get a leopard sweater
Speaker 1: for this hot possum.
Speaker 3: That is That is an expression. I was also looking
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a way. I have away with it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I see the gap and I fell it in with
Speaker 1: the right information. I wanted to talk to you about
Speaker 1: in New York, and I worry about them during the wintertime.
Speaker 1: Do you have these little cute delivery robots. No, they
Speaker 1: are in like Beverly Hills here and Hollywood, these cute
Speaker 1: little robots on four wheels. It's a little box and
Speaker 1: it reminds me of Wally. And they're really cute and
Speaker 1: they're really cautious. They're delivering food. I think usually like
Speaker 1: it'll be a Postmate's logo on the side, but they're
Speaker 1: really cautious when they cross streets and they say excuse
Speaker 1: me when you get out of the way, and they
Speaker 1: say thank you and I worry about their well being,
Speaker 1: and I really love these robots, and it's bizarre that
Speaker 1: I think most people see it as a scary sign
Speaker 1: of the future because it's a robot on the sidewalk
Speaker 1: with an antenna. But I really I love them and
Speaker 1: I'm concerned for them. And I wondered if you'd seen
Speaker 1: them in New York how they do with snow.
Speaker 3: I don't think they're in New York yet.
Speaker 1: Well, they're just slowly. Are you seeing them, Karen?
Speaker 4: I have seen people post pictures of them who live
Speaker 4: in I think Hollywood, like more Central. I've never seen
Speaker 4: them in person.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I like them so much. It's
Speaker 1: not what I expected, but I really want to dress
Speaker 1: them up. I worry about them being vandalized in a
Speaker 1: way that I'm like, would stand up for this.
Speaker 4: Just because we were talking about having dogs and you
Speaker 4: were like, this is the closest thing I can see.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the closest thing I have to a pet.
Speaker 1: Is I have access if I drive to the right
Speaker 1: neighborhood on these little robots that I've built a little
Speaker 1: friendships with, and I think it's mutual. If I saw
Speaker 1: some a group of near Dowell's hitting one with a
Speaker 1: baseball bat. I think I would intervene and say leave
Speaker 1: it alone. You know. Oh, I really worry about them.
Speaker 1: This sounds crazy, but I really like delivery robots. I
Speaker 1: think they're just cute.
Speaker 4: Well, you're made for the future where you empathize with machines.
Speaker 4: I mean, that's you're gonna do great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I cry at the end of Terminator three, they
Speaker 1: can develop emotions.
Speaker 2: He goes down into that. Yeah, it's really sad.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Can I say something kind of controversial? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Please, that's the reason we do this.
Speaker 3: Okay. So I saw a Terminator recently, the first one. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I thought the only good scene was when those
Speaker 3: two ladies were getting ready her roommates. Yeah, and then
Speaker 3: he goes and kills her, and that's didn't done and
Speaker 3: there's nothing else like that. That was the best part
Speaker 3: of that whole movie.
Speaker 1: I don't even remember this.
Speaker 2: He killed some innocent Sarah Connor's roommates.
Speaker 3: They're putting makeup on in front of the mirror, having
Speaker 3: a good time laughing. He comes in and blows her up. Done.
Speaker 1: Yep, yeah, oh I don't Why don't I remember that.
Speaker 1: I blocked it out.
Speaker 4: I guess it's when he first starts to go find her.
Speaker 4: I have to say this is a controversial opinion verse
Speaker 4: of yours Joe, because I find the love story in
Speaker 4: that movie that is such a classic eighties boy action movie.
Speaker 4: But the love story between Sarah Connor and her future babies, yes,
Speaker 4: John Connor, John Connor is so romantic, like because they're
Speaker 4: just trying to survive.
Speaker 2: Yeah no, didn't do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah no, I see that. I think it does. I
Speaker 3: see what you're saying. I think that's another highlight of
Speaker 3: the movie. I would say, i'd say the worst part.
Speaker 1: I don't. I remember on VHS watching their love scene repeatedly,
Speaker 1: but I don't think it was coming from the heart.
Speaker 1: I think I was just a young boy and it's
Speaker 1: the closest we had to adult film. But it wasn't
Speaker 1: important to me. They're really ship.
Speaker 3: Well, I think you should give that little scene of
Speaker 3: them getting ready to rewatch.
Speaker 1: It's really awful.
Speaker 4: That sounds like true, like you you feel like they
Speaker 4: really are friends.
Speaker 1: That sounds great scene from RoboCop, but much more violent.
Speaker 1: That's that's a disturbing movie.
Speaker 3: It is. I never seen that one.
Speaker 1: It's very don't bother you'll will it'll put you in
Speaker 1: a dark place.
Speaker 3: Oh, No, I don't need that.
Speaker 2: Not in the twenty degrees.
Speaker 3: No, I had this uplifting conversation, I can't go back.
Speaker 2: Down, don't go don't go back Joe.
Speaker 1: Two of the stories from your stand up or jokes
Speaker 1: that had stories involved that I liked the most. I
Speaker 1: related very much to having a comedy haircut because I
Speaker 1: had one after quarantine, and that comedian was carrot top.
Speaker 1: I had long, carrot, choppy hair and I had to
Speaker 1: deal with that, and I said goodbye to it because
Speaker 1: I was confronted by the fact I had comedy specific hair.
Speaker 1: And then also, your little fifth grade boyfriend that would
Speaker 1: break up with you every Friday to do god knows
Speaker 1: what on the weekends, only to get back together with
Speaker 1: you on Monday.
Speaker 2: He did it because he wanted the weekends free.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you think was the reasoning behind that?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Probably it's a lot of fifth grader on the weekend.
Speaker 1: That's awful.
Speaker 3: It's really tough, you know, to think about just that
Speaker 3: Monday through Friday down.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had a little sixth grade girlfriend. She was
Speaker 1: so cute and I liked her, and she would she
Speaker 1: broke up with me ten times because I was too
Speaker 1: scared to try and kiss her, and all of her
Speaker 1: friends would gather around and they'd heckle us. It was
Speaker 1: very traumatic. Yeah, anyway, I related to your comedy.
Speaker 4: You kind of piggybacked on Joe's tragedy with your own tragedy.
Speaker 1: I do do that. I do do that.
Speaker 3: I thought that was really love. I loved it. You know,
Speaker 3: someone else is getting dumped. That's the best thing you
Speaker 3: can think of when you get dumped, to hear someone
Speaker 3: else got dumped. That's the only thing you want to hear.
Speaker 1: True, And how did he just called you up? And
Speaker 1: what did he say?
Speaker 3: You dun't? I mean it was really kind of a
Speaker 3: classic economy of words.
Speaker 2: Get dump.
Speaker 1: I imagine him on the phone, the hand that wasn't
Speaker 1: holding the phone was doing something like this with his thumb,
Speaker 1: You're dumped, and he was emotioning.
Speaker 4: I kind of imagined an index finger pointing down you dumb.
Speaker 1: That is that is more of a burn.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's really brutal. I mean, worst case scenario
Speaker 3: is called the milky way. Take a big bite after,
Speaker 3: you know, really brutal. I don't know if you feel
Speaker 3: this way. But I'm always every time. I like, every
Speaker 3: time I do something, I'm like, wow, this is cool,
Speaker 3: look at look at this, people check it out, and
Speaker 3: then afterwards it's like a few years later, I'm just
Speaker 3: horrified that it's even out in the world. That's so horrified.
Speaker 3: And then you said that you listened to it, and
Speaker 3: I think, oh god, but it does always horrifying. Does
Speaker 3: that happen to you that timeline or does that not happen?
Speaker 2: Oh what happens? Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Yeah, every time I do comedy for a living and
Speaker 1: I'm petrified that people are licening to it when I'm
Speaker 1: not around.
Speaker 4: When I put out a comedy album, I had to
Speaker 4: pretend it didn't exist for like five years, but because
Speaker 4: I was like, how did I even do that? How
Speaker 4: did I get that done? And then just I was
Speaker 4: just like, I don't want to hear about it. If
Speaker 4: you have anything to say about it, that's your business,
Speaker 4: Like wow, the real shame avoidance issue.
Speaker 1: But things change when those big fat checks start rolling in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, man, oh god, it was really can I just
Speaker 4: say for this that particular.
Speaker 3: Album, So I hadn't gotten any money from it, and
Speaker 3: I was like, well, what the hell's going on here,
Speaker 3: and you know, I'm getting real confident, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, because it's been a few years and I
Speaker 3: forgot it existed. And then I thought, oh, well maybe
Speaker 3: that's an income source. And so then you know, I
Speaker 3: get all fired up. Yeah this is interesting. I haven't
Speaker 3: seen one pretty since. I was so self righteous. And
Speaker 3: then they were like, oh, well, you still haven't made
Speaker 3: your advance up. But this was years later. This was
Speaker 3: so many like seven years later, like you still but
Speaker 3: when you do make up that advance will be the
Speaker 3: first to let you know. It was like, oh, but
Speaker 3: the advance was so small. I mean it was really
Speaker 3: a humbling moment, and you know that's why you can't
Speaker 3: really I just had to respond thank you so much
Speaker 3: to the email that was, wait.
Speaker 2: What's the name of that album, Joe?
Speaker 1: I couldn't possibly or the one that you have, you
Speaker 1: know what we could if you don't want to mention albums.
Speaker 1: Hear about the game that you invented, the card game.
Speaker 1: I think it's amazing that you're inventing. You're an inventor
Speaker 1: of games.
Speaker 3: So this game it's called Fruits, Yeah, and it's like basically,
Speaker 3: what you're trying to do is it's kind of a
Speaker 3: game of strategy and change. But basically what you're trying
Speaker 3: to do is get bunches of three of the same fruit,
Speaker 3: and there's like apples and bananas and grapes. But then
Speaker 3: what happens. You can some people can sport your efforts
Speaker 3: by putting mice or locusts on really on, but you can,
Speaker 3: you know, you can double your points with a pie,
Speaker 3: kind of like jin Rummy meets Uno meets.
Speaker 4: So this is basically is like from eight to eighty
Speaker 4: anyone can play this game.
Speaker 3: That is indeed true the truth. Yeah, yeah, my ninety
Speaker 3: five year old grandpa just learned it. They learned it,
Speaker 3: so so over eighty.
Speaker 4: For fruits And is this available anywhere on the web site?
Speaker 2: Where can we get.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's available anywhere you can find it. But it's
Speaker 3: you know, I think that it's It was like we
Speaker 3: had like a little release party and like thirty people
Speaker 3: were playing this game, thirty adults and I gave it.
Speaker 3: They were eating blopops And just see a group of
Speaker 3: adults eating bluepops playing colorful card game. It's really next
Speaker 3: to you think, what's gone what's gone on here? You know,
Speaker 3: it's really it's a very interesting picture. It's a very
Speaker 3: it's a wholesome Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that sounds wholesome.
Speaker 4: Because have you played Apples to Apples, which is not
Speaker 4: I love that game. We had a game not going
Speaker 4: through quarantine with the same kind of five or six people,
Speaker 4: and we usually ended up playing because there was lots
Speaker 4: of choices, obviously, but we would end up playing Apples
Speaker 4: to Apples because it was kind of funny and easy
Speaker 4: and kind of low key. And it sounds to me
Speaker 4: like Fruits is very similar in that way.
Speaker 3: I tried. I did it with this digestion nap. We
Speaker 3: tried to make the game you could play in the hospital.
Speaker 2: Just to get you back on your feet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of like you know, it's like you want
Speaker 3: to play something in the hospital that's not like something
Speaker 3: that you could focus on a little bit but not
Speaker 3: have to focus on too much. Yes, the hospital game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, perfect. It'll just put a little spring in your step.
Speaker 2: It'll put a little fluid in your ivy bag.
Speaker 3: Hopefully if you're going to the hospital, grab your Fruits.
Speaker 2: I don't know how long you'll be there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But can I just ask one thing please about
Speaker 3: what this podcast was like before COVID.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who drives Karen. Karen is much better at talking
Speaker 1: and driving I but you combine them and I am
Speaker 1: everyone's life is in danger or I'm driving well and
Speaker 1: I'm not even listening to anyone talk. So we we
Speaker 1: learned very quickly that Karen's the better multitasker.
Speaker 3: And then do you sit in the front seat? We do.
Speaker 1: We don't look at each other. It's profile, the profile
Speaker 1: I rarely glance over. It wasn't until we start doing
Speaker 1: Zoom that I started to look at Karen's face.
Speaker 2: I've never seen Chris's right eye until.
Speaker 1: Yeah. She thought I was this weird cyclops for so.
Speaker 4: Long, but I accepted him, and I think that's why
Speaker 4: it worked. Yeah, we can't wait to get back in
Speaker 4: the car. So everybody that does the Zoom version of
Speaker 4: the podcast gets to automatically get rebooked for when we're real.
Speaker 1: So if you're in town doing your comedy concerts as
Speaker 1: you like to call them, you I demand you call them.
Speaker 1: We can take you to your show. And occasionally we
Speaker 1: still do airport pickups at burbankcon.
Speaker 4: Burbank burbancone laxis to yes, okay fighting l Yeah became
Speaker 4: too violent.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I wouldn't want to get into violence right away.
Speaker 2: Not right away.
Speaker 3: I'll go to Burbank, don't.
Speaker 1: Pro Okay, yeah, just pay a few hundred dollars more
Speaker 1: on your flight for the purposes of being in our
Speaker 1: podcast and we will love you for it.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Thank.
Speaker 1: You so much. You're a You're a delight uh to
Speaker 1: speak with.
Speaker 2: You're hilarious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you both are so funny and I really am
Speaker 3: so I was so honored to be asked to be honest.
Speaker 3: It's this is such a dream. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: Well, thanks, it's nice you to say you've been listening
Speaker 1: to Do you need a ride? D U I n
Speaker 1: A are? This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 4: Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Troy.
Speaker 2: Our talent booker is Patrick Kottner.
Speaker 1: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 2: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 4: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 4: podcast That's d y Nar Podcast.
Speaker 1: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Oh You're welcome.