Speaker 1: And you're here.
Speaker 2: Thanks for choosing the iHeartRadio and Coast to Ghost Day
Speaker 2: and Paranormal Podcast Network. Your quest for podcasts of the paranormal, supernatural,
Speaker 2: and the unexplained ends here. We invite you to enjoy
Speaker 2: all our shows we have on this network, and right now,
Speaker 2: let's start with Chase of the Afterlife with the Sanatra
Speaker 2: Channa Plain.
Speaker 3: Welcome to our podcast. Please be aware the thoughts and
Speaker 3: opinions expressed by the host are their thoughts and opinions
Speaker 3: only and do not reflect those of iHeartMedia, iHeartRadio, Coast
Speaker 3: to Coast AM employees of Premiere Networks, or their sponsors
Speaker 3: and associates. We would like to encourage you to do
Speaker 3: your own research and discover the subject matter for yourself. Hi, everybody,
Speaker 3: Sandra here. I'm on a short break this week, so
Speaker 3: please enjoy this best of episode.
Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 3: I'm Sandra Champlain. For over twenty five years, I've been
Speaker 3: on a journey to prove the existence of life after death.
Speaker 3: On each episode, we'll discuss the reasons we now know
Speaker 3: that our loved ones have survived physical debt and so
Speaker 3: will we. Welcome to Shades of the Afterlife. Have you
Speaker 3: ever wondered what your life purpose is. I want to
Speaker 3: ask you three questions just for you to ponder. You
Speaker 3: don't need to give a response, as it may take
Speaker 3: you a little while to come up with the answer.
Speaker 3: I will revisit this at the end of the episode
Speaker 3: and you'll know why then. The first question is if
Speaker 3: I knew I couldn't fail, what would I do or
Speaker 3: who would I be? Second question, if I knew I
Speaker 3: had one hundred million dollars in the bank, what would
Speaker 3: I do or who would I be? And number three,
Speaker 3: if I knew I only had six months left to live,
Speaker 3: what would I do or who would I be? Good questions. Right,
Speaker 3: our guest today has come up with his life purpose
Speaker 3: a different way, and I think many of us our
Speaker 3: hearts get cracked wide open when we go through the
Speaker 3: grieving process. As difficult as grief may be, it may
Speaker 3: have us asking these important questions of who am I
Speaker 3: and what is my life? For our guest today is
Speaker 3: a berieved father, a bereaved son, a bereaved brother, and
Speaker 3: a bereaved friend. You'll meet Tom Bender, creator and host
Speaker 3: of the Heroes and Grief podcast. On each episode, you
Speaker 3: meet inspiring folks who turn their grief into purpose. You
Speaker 3: can find out more at Heroes in Grief dot com.
Speaker 3: Let's meet Tom now hear his story through grief and
Speaker 3: his belief in the afterlife.
Speaker 1: Now presently in Niagara Falls, New York. I'm a native
Speaker 1: Western New Yorker born in Buffalo, and there's been a
Speaker 1: lot of things in my life, a lot of different
Speaker 1: things to pull from varied background. I was a pastor
Speaker 1: for fifteen years in the Christian Church. I was spiritual
Speaker 1: care director at Niagara Hospice for three and a half years.
Speaker 1: I worked ambulance for a long time. I was back
Speaker 1: in the as you were, the food industry for a
Speaker 1: while and did all kinds of different things. I also
Speaker 1: had been involved in music almost all my life, and
Speaker 1: so my past fifteen years or so has been a
Speaker 1: full time musician here in Western New York. And I
Speaker 1: played in nursing homes and things like that during the daytimes,
Speaker 1: and then clubs and other things at night, and bands
Speaker 1: and everything else, the whole gamut. But I was very
Speaker 1: privileged to be full time, and so was nice. And
Speaker 1: then in February twenty third of twenty twenty three, my
Speaker 1: son Jeff passed. He was twenty seven years old, and
Speaker 1: he was living with us. He had come to us
Speaker 1: to get out of the lifestyle that he had been
Speaker 1: in involving drugs and things, and so he came to
Speaker 1: live with us two and a half years prior to that,
Speaker 1: and everything was going relatively well, and as that sometimes happens,
Speaker 1: it has gripped him and did grip him, and so
Speaker 1: he finally succumbed to that on the twenty third, and
Speaker 1: that was horrific, of course, and changed my life dramatically.
Speaker 1: I'm still changing and evolving as a person since that time.
Speaker 1: It's not that long, of course, but I found amazing
Speaker 1: resources right away. I knew I needed help and tapped
Speaker 1: into resources that helped me online and searching out podcast books,
Speaker 1: just searching for something to grab onto, and I found
Speaker 1: immediate help through some of those. I began to progress
Speaker 1: in my grief, which I think everybody has to do.
Speaker 1: Early stages are tough because you're just trying to live
Speaker 1: and survive, of course, and so what it did is
Speaker 1: it started moving me onward to wanting to realize what's
Speaker 1: happening within me, first of all, and that was that
Speaker 1: I was changing. You can't help but be changed in
Speaker 1: many ways, but internally it really worked in me and
Speaker 1: I realized some things that I'm still trying to process
Speaker 1: and better myself in. But I wanted to help people,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to help them through if I could,
Speaker 1: the pain that I was going through. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what that was going to look like. I didn't know
Speaker 1: how that was going to happen. I quickly took a
Speaker 1: grief educator course through David Kessler that I was on
Speaker 1: a grief group's online with his organization, and again I
Speaker 1: didn't know exactly what I was going to do with that,
Speaker 1: but I thought, maybe I don't know, maybe one on
Speaker 1: ones who knows. So I took that. I ended that
Speaker 1: in June of last year, relatively quick again into everything,
Speaker 1: and then the idea for the podcast came around that
Speaker 1: time actually, but it just wasn't time. I could tell
Speaker 1: through the summer months and things got busy, and it
Speaker 1: was good because we were being occupied and that helps
Speaker 1: pad the grief process, you know, as you're going on
Speaker 1: and being amongst friends and all those things. Really what
Speaker 1: stirred it was that I heard other people's stories and
Speaker 1: they meant a lot to me. It didn't matter the
Speaker 1: circumstances of their grief. It was what came out of it,
Speaker 1: and it seemed like there was something that came out
Speaker 1: of every story that was applicable to my grief. But
Speaker 1: that is what really spurred me on when I saw
Speaker 1: what people were doing with their grief and so many
Speaker 1: people then turned it into purpose, and I thought, first
Speaker 1: of all, the stories should be getting out there for people,
Speaker 1: because different people relate to different people's stories, so the
Speaker 1: more we can get that out there, the better it
Speaker 1: is for everybody. And then to highlight the things that
Speaker 1: people are doing through their grief and the remarkable things.
Speaker 1: There's so many resources available for people in grief that
Speaker 1: are from other people who have experienced grief, and there's
Speaker 1: nobody better, I think, to do that than those who
Speaker 1: who know what you're going through. So that's where the
Speaker 1: whole idea of heroes and grief came from. I struggled
Speaker 1: with the name heroes initially, and then I looked up
Speaker 1: and saw that there's part of the definition of heroes
Speaker 1: that fit perfectly, and I put that in the intro
Speaker 1: to it, and it's those who are doing remarkable things,
Speaker 1: encourage and it doesn't matter we've made heroes into these
Speaker 1: superheroes and all these other things, and of course it
Speaker 1: applies to military and things like that, but most people,
Speaker 1: the common person, would not think themselves a hero in
Speaker 1: any way. But I found through that definition that it applied,
Speaker 1: and they are heroes and certainly heroes for those who
Speaker 1: receive something effective for them in their walk with Greece.
Speaker 1: I've been on a spiritual journey that now has changed
Speaker 1: and explore meditation and those things. I don't do it
Speaker 1: as much as I should and as well as I should,
Speaker 1: but the benefits are incredible. I believe I'm being guided
Speaker 1: from the universe and from spirit and from Jeff and
Speaker 1: spirit guides and all those type of things that people
Speaker 1: may be familiar with. I believe Jeff is present right
Speaker 1: here with me right now, and he's shown that in
Speaker 1: so many ways. I have signs that could fill a
Speaker 1: law book of evidence for me personally. So all I
Speaker 1: do is share that as well. And it's very freeing
Speaker 1: to be in the grief community. I've found people in
Speaker 1: the grief community are genuine and wanting help, and those
Speaker 1: who are giving the help are genuine. So it's been
Speaker 1: really refreshing to be part of something that is not competitive.
Speaker 1: People are genuine and real and that's where you really
Speaker 1: came in for me. And I'll share this story now
Speaker 1: how Sandra and I got connected here to do the podcasts.
Speaker 1: I did a podcast with Roseanne Norris. She heads up
Speaker 1: Helping Parents Heal chapter in Binghamton, New York, and I'm
Speaker 1: part of Helping Parents Heal as well. It's an organization
Speaker 1: that is all for parents who have lost children. And
Speaker 1: so I had her on the podcast a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago. I knew she was acquainted with you, but
Speaker 1: we didn't get too deep into that. And so after
Speaker 1: the podcast, I sent her an email. And as I
Speaker 1: have with several other different people who very initially when
Speaker 1: I was in my throes of grief and just clutching
Speaker 1: for things. And so that's why I sent the message
Speaker 1: to Roseanne for you, is because I found your podcasts
Speaker 1: and things early on. You're very inviting in your conversation
Speaker 1: and things. I connected with that, and I just wanted
Speaker 1: to send you a message to say that you had
Speaker 1: a positive role in my process and moving forward. So
Speaker 1: that was my intention, and I sent an email to
Speaker 1: her and said, what do you think is the best
Speaker 1: way to contact Sandra so that she would see the message,
Speaker 1: because I didn't know if you actually do your social
Speaker 1: media and those types of things, and so that's all
Speaker 1: I center. And so then she sends me back a
Speaker 1: message and says, I contacted Sandra, and she says she
Speaker 1: wants to be on your podcast and she wants to
Speaker 1: have you on hers. That was remarkable to me. So
Speaker 1: I'm very very happy that you did that. And it's
Speaker 1: such a privilege to be here.
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. My mom says, make things happen, don't
Speaker 3: wait for them to happen. Make things happen. And I
Speaker 3: want to just highlight a few things that you said,
Speaker 3: and then I want to ask you about your connection
Speaker 3: that ongoing with Jeff as we love to hear stories.
Speaker 3: First of all our condolences for his passing. That is
Speaker 3: the one thing that unites all of us. Grief is
Speaker 3: a thing that hurts worse than anything in the world,
Speaker 3: but can actually crack us open to go on that
Speaker 3: spiritual journey that we didn't ask for, that we didn't
Speaker 3: think we need. But in it there's transformation. There really
Speaker 3: is not only looking at your own spiritual beliefs the hereafter,
Speaker 3: but also who you are as a human being. What
Speaker 3: you're here for, and you have taken your grief and
Speaker 3: grief and action is what you are doing. You are
Speaker 3: making a difference. And I know for myself, everything that
Speaker 3: I learned, I couldn't hang on too for myself, I
Speaker 3: had to just give it away. So you are in
Speaker 3: fact a hero and grief as well as all the
Speaker 3: people that you interview, And they say it a ton
Speaker 3: of times. Even if you make a difference for one person,
Speaker 3: you never know when you can breathe life back into
Speaker 3: a person. And also sometimes we know grief is hard
Speaker 3: prevent them from even taking their own life. So, my friend,
Speaker 3: now if we can feel back the onion a little
Speaker 3: bit on spiritual beliefs. Now, you mentioned hospice. There's some
Speaker 3: great stories of things that happen in hospice. I don't
Speaker 3: know if you've known or heard about some of those
Speaker 3: deathbed visitors. But also I really want to hear about
Speaker 3: your connection with Jeff, because we want to know that
Speaker 3: our loved ones are still around and what are real
Speaker 3: signs and maybe what is our imagination? And just if
Speaker 3: you could talk a little bit about the afterlife.
Speaker 1: Side, probably one of my favorite subjects right now absolutely.
Speaker 1: It's interesting. When I was a pastor, I always felt
Speaker 1: that God was bigger. That was the biggest thing that
Speaker 1: stuck with me. You can talk a lot about the
Speaker 1: context of the church and things like that, but I
Speaker 1: don't adhere to the dogma of religion anymore. I certainly
Speaker 1: believe in God and Spirit in a different way, so
Speaker 1: I don't try to get in battles with anybody in
Speaker 1: religion or anything like that. I just knew at the
Speaker 1: time that God was bigger, and when I went to hospice,
Speaker 1: I experienced it. I did see some of the things
Speaker 1: you're speaking of. I saw terminal lucidity, where a person
Speaker 1: who was not conscious or speaking or in their right
Speaker 1: mind for a long time, sometimes up to years. And
Speaker 1: usually these occurrences that I'm about to speak of happen
Speaker 1: and the person passes within a couple of days.
Speaker 3: Of as usual, friends, it's time for a quick break,
Speaker 3: and I promised we'll come right back where we left
Speaker 3: off with Tom Bender. You're listening to Shades of the
Speaker 3: Afterlife on the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast AM Paranormal
Speaker 3: Podcast Network. Welcome back to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm
Speaker 3: Sandra Champlain, and we're with Tom Bender, founder and podcast
Speaker 3: host of Heroes in Grief. He's had a varied background,
Speaker 3: including being spiritual director at a hospice. Let's continue with
Speaker 3: his story.
Speaker 1: And when I went to hospice, I experienced it. If
Speaker 1: I saw turnminal lucidity where a person who was not
Speaker 1: conscious or speaking or in their right mind for a
Speaker 1: long time, sometimes up to years. And usually these occurrences
Speaker 1: that I'm about to speak of happen and the person
Speaker 1: passes within a couple days of this. Usually there's a
Speaker 1: lot of studies going on with this type of thing now.
Speaker 1: Actually here locally, doctor for Christopher Kerr, which is at
Speaker 1: Airy County Hospice or Buffalo Hospice, has done great studies
Speaker 1: on this. But terminal lucidity a person comes into their
Speaker 1: regular minds and is talking to their family members. And
Speaker 1: I witnessed this. I saw this happen and they were
Speaker 1: just dumbfounded, the people around this person because she knew
Speaker 1: every name, she knew every place, she knew everything that
Speaker 1: had been happening all around her in the recent history,
Speaker 1: and everybody was shocked. Of course, it's difficult for the
Speaker 1: family members because they feel this is a rallying point
Speaker 1: and really what it is as a kind of a
Speaker 1: picture of the end. But yeah, I experienced that it
Speaker 1: is markable experience, and so we knew this happened, and
Speaker 1: we saw this happen. I saw it probably physically myself
Speaker 1: a couple times and witnessed it. I heard of it
Speaker 1: obviously other times from the workers there. And then there's
Speaker 1: other things where they see somebody who has passed on
Speaker 1: before them and they talk about it, and they see
Speaker 1: it and they talk to them and they see them
Speaker 1: in the room, or they'll see them behind somebody when
Speaker 1: they're talking to them. These occurrences happened while I was
Speaker 1: there too, and I witnessed that happen. So those are
Speaker 1: actual things that people see. We're just normal people. I
Speaker 1: know you feel the same Leasander that you share these things.
Speaker 1: We are just normal people who have witnessed these remarkable
Speaker 1: things around us and it has to be shared or
Speaker 1: our society seems to squelch these things for some reason,
Speaker 1: or maybe we're just desensitized where it doesn't have the
Speaker 1: impact that it should. But they're extraordinary things. With Jeff Boy,
Speaker 1: there's so many. One of the very early things that
Speaker 1: happened was in the immediate days and day of and
Speaker 1: days after Jeff passed, and he lived with us here
Speaker 1: in the house, and so I'd go into the bathroom,
Speaker 1: and of course I'm in my acute grief phase and
Speaker 1: you are in la la land. You don't even know
Speaker 1: what's going on. It's hard to find the door, you know.
Speaker 1: And so I'd walk into the bathroom and I would
Speaker 1: hear Dad, Dad, every time it happened, and I was like, Jeff,
Speaker 1: I know you're there, and I'm here. I hear you.
Speaker 1: And I talked to him, you know, crying at that time,
Speaker 1: but talking to him. And he did it probably for
Speaker 1: about maybe a month or so, just every time Dad,
Speaker 1: and it was his voice, and so it was amazing.
Speaker 1: That was the first thing. About three weeks after he passed. Now,
Speaker 1: as I said, he'd lived with us, and he was
Speaker 1: construction worker, a great worker, and helped around the house
Speaker 1: and did things. We had that bad snowstorm in Buffalo,
Speaker 1: which was around Christmas time in twenty twenty two, so
Speaker 1: he was here for that time and we got two
Speaker 1: or three feet of snow here, and so he was
Speaker 1: out shoveling one day and Jeff was like a bull
Speaker 1: in the china shop. He was a big guy, but
Speaker 1: a tender heart, just a teddy bear, but he was
Speaker 1: like a bull in the china shop. And we just
Speaker 1: shake our heads and say, Jeff, what did you do?
Speaker 1: Yea that type of thing. Remember, he pulled in the
Speaker 1: driveway one time and knocked the extension cord hold her
Speaker 1: off the wall, and he had to fix that, but
Speaker 1: he could fix it, so it was ok. What he did.
Speaker 1: This time, he was shoveling outside and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden he came in and he's holding the shovel handle
Speaker 1: in his hand and he goes, I broke the handle,
Speaker 1: you know. So actually we went and replaced it that day,
Speaker 1: or he went and got another shovel and he came
Speaker 1: back in and he had broken another shovel, so two
Speaker 1: of them while he was doing that. After that time,
Speaker 1: a few days after whatever, I fixed the shovel handle
Speaker 1: on the first one that he broke, And that was
Speaker 1: the one we used all the time, and we had
Speaker 1: used it several times multiple times since then. When Jeff passed,
Speaker 1: it was February twenty third, so this was two months
Speaker 1: after the snowstorm, and three weeks after that, I go
Speaker 1: out to our porch. We didn't really have any snow
Speaker 1: at that time, but we kept our shovel on the
Speaker 1: porch and it really hadn't been windy that day either,
Speaker 1: and we have a carpeted porch. I have a picture
Speaker 1: of this. Actually, I opened up the door just to
Speaker 1: get some air, and the shovel's ling on the carpeted
Speaker 1: floor and the handle is broken off. And I just
Speaker 1: was like, Jeff, that is Jeff, you know, And how
Speaker 1: did it break in a carpeted floor, falling from just
Speaker 1: standing And it was remarkable. So a great sign from him.
Speaker 1: Something recently that happened. And I've really been trying to
Speaker 1: get in touch with Jeff and in touch with the
Speaker 1: spirit world. So sometimes I drive for a living. I
Speaker 1: drive for a charter company here in the Falls, and
Speaker 1: I was driving out to a school one time. It
Speaker 1: was in the evening and it was about an hour
Speaker 1: long drive, and I put on meditation music. Now this
Speaker 1: isn't advice for some people when you're driving, but I
Speaker 1: just wanted something to melow myself, to get myself in
Speaker 1: a mindful state, and so I did that while I
Speaker 1: was listening. You know, if you've ever seen the newer vehicles.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they have like a holographic display on the windshield
Speaker 1: and it goes up there and it's a little rectangle
Speaker 1: that has holographic things on there. This is the way
Speaker 1: it came up for me. And I was just trying
Speaker 1: to get in a mindful state, and mindfulness is just
Speaker 1: getting in the present moment, releasing everything else. And so
Speaker 1: all of a sudden I see that just like a rectangle,
Speaker 1: and Jeff is down in the corner and he's just
Speaker 1: like like, hey here, I am this fun kid, funny,
Speaker 1: beautiful smile. And he was just like, hey here I am,
Speaker 1: I'm here. I love you, I know it. And I
Speaker 1: acknowledged him and as I do, and I talked to him,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, my mother shows up.
Speaker 1: Mother passed two years before Jeff. Then my father, my
Speaker 1: dad died when I was ten. Then my brother, my
Speaker 1: brother died about ten years agoing out maybe more. All
Speaker 1: of a sudden, all the people in my life that
Speaker 1: I knew started showing up, and it formed like this
Speaker 1: big party of people there, and one by one I'd
Speaker 1: remember them and they'd show up and they were like Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: just kept saying Hi. We're all here, and it was
Speaker 1: just such an experience and acknowledgement. Now, this is what
Speaker 1: happens a lot now for me. I need confirmations. We
Speaker 1: keep neeeding these knocks in the head to say this
Speaker 1: is real, this is real. They're there and they're they're
Speaker 1: with us. And so I couldn't think of one person
Speaker 1: that had passed in my life that it was close
Speaker 1: to me that didn't show up there, and so that
Speaker 1: is just something that happened recently that is pretty remarkable.
Speaker 3: I just want to ask you were continuing driving when
Speaker 3: this is all happening.
Speaker 1: I did notice that while I was driving. Yes, I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of it as it's happening. I was thinking, in
Speaker 1: my head, you are totally present with what you're doing here.
Speaker 1: I was focused on driving guests.
Speaker 3: Right, And I know from personal experience we need to
Speaker 3: be present, we need to be in the zone, and
Speaker 3: sometimes driving is it. I've never heard an experience like that,
Speaker 3: and I know from my own experiences when they show
Speaker 3: up and in my mind it can be an image
Speaker 3: not outside of me, but I can tell what they
Speaker 3: look like, what they're wearing. It's different than when my
Speaker 3: mind says, okay, picture my dad, because then I have
Speaker 3: to slow down and okay, that's what he looks like,
Speaker 3: and okay, invent what he's wearing. But it's just like,
Speaker 3: there they are. And so it sounds to me like
Speaker 3: a similar thing that they just present themselves. There they are.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't even have time to try to figure out
Speaker 3: and imagine.
Speaker 1: Them, no, And I wouldn't have put them in the
Speaker 1: striped shirt that he had on. People when they see
Speaker 1: things or wonder if it's conjuring up in their own
Speaker 1: mind or if it's the reality of some of the
Speaker 1: spirits showing themselves that it's definite. It's definite, it's real.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like vague. It was very clear, and you
Speaker 1: just know it's real. It's not like some obscure thing
Speaker 1: that's just wavering out there or something. It was very definite,
Speaker 1: very clear. And all the rest of them that came up,
Speaker 1: they really didn't say anything. They were just like every
Speaker 1: one of them kind of just came up and like
Speaker 1: acknowledged me, and waves said we're here, we're here, we're here.
Speaker 1: And so it's like pounding into my head, this is real,
Speaker 1: this is we are here. And so it was so awesome.
Speaker 1: To experience that, and yeah, yeah, it was exhilarating.
Speaker 3: I just got a new to me car. It's a
Speaker 3: pre owned and it has that hologram on the windshield
Speaker 3: so I can tell how fast I'm going and not
Speaker 3: going and blinks when I'm going over the speed limit.
Speaker 3: So I love it. But now next time I get
Speaker 3: into my car, I'm going to think of your story.
Speaker 3: Oh you spoke about you still talk to Jeff, which
Speaker 3: we should because they're very much alive. But what does
Speaker 3: that look like in your day? Is it just including
Speaker 3: him and things? And how do you Yeah, you just feel.
Speaker 1: Him, yes, yes, and yes and yes. Sometimes he reveals
Speaker 1: himself will remind me. And boy, you feel guilty sometimes,
Speaker 1: you know, when you're not thinking of it all the time.
Speaker 1: But we need to go on with our lives. They
Speaker 1: want us to go on with our lives. We have
Speaker 1: things to do. As you said, what we're doing is important,
Speaker 1: and so we have these things to do. So you
Speaker 1: can't beat yourself up about that. But sometimes I get
Speaker 1: eleven eleven on the time all the time I durned,
Speaker 1: Like I said, I drive during the days, and so
Speaker 1: I'll just glance at the clock. All of a sudden
Speaker 1: it might be my arrival time, it might be the
Speaker 1: time that it is. But one time it happened seven
Speaker 1: days in a row and unprovoked. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: well you're getting my attention here for something, And you know,
Speaker 1: I just kind of used it as my internal working
Speaker 1: on that. Dad, Remember do what you're supposed to be doing,
Speaker 1: you know, And I need those reminders. So that's good.
Speaker 1: But various ways, I've only had one dream with jeffin
Speaker 1: which is strange to me because I would love for
Speaker 1: those visitations and dreams. Of course, just recently, again, it
Speaker 1: was an acknowledgment that he's here. It was interesting. I
Speaker 1: don't know, dreams are so strange, you know, I know
Speaker 1: his dream it wasn't a visit really, Maybe that portion
Speaker 1: of it was a visit because I remember it specifically
Speaker 1: and clearly, but you know, dreams going on or what.
Speaker 1: But all of a sudden, Jeff just protruded out of
Speaker 1: a section of the visual field, I guess is the
Speaker 1: best way I can put it. And again, I haven't
Speaker 1: had a dream for Jeff. And it was just like
Speaker 1: pretty much that I'm here. I'm here, Dad, you know
Speaker 1: that pretty much like that with his handout I'm here, Dad,
Speaker 1: and so when I woke up, I was distressed. I
Speaker 1: felt that that was meaningful and purposeful, and so I
Speaker 1: just felt, thank you, you know, and I acknowledge him.
Speaker 1: And it might be the coins I pick up. I
Speaker 1: find the coins all the time, and I've kept all
Speaker 1: the ones that I've found since.
Speaker 3: Then, friends, it's time for another quick break, and when
Speaker 3: we get back, there's more of Heroes and Grief podcast
Speaker 3: host Tom Bender. They're listening to Shades of the Afterlife
Speaker 3: on the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast, a paranormal podcast network.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandra Champlain.
Speaker 3: We're talking to Tom Bender, host of Heroes in Grief.
Speaker 3: Tom has been a longtime professional musician who I feel
Speaker 3: has the pause button on that career right now, and
Speaker 3: a lot has to do with grief. So let's continue
Speaker 3: with him talking about signs and his music and grief.
Speaker 1: It's strange because I've been in music in my life too,
Speaker 1: and music has not been a part of it. Really.
Speaker 1: I'm not involved in music now, so maybe that's it.
Speaker 1: People send me a lot of music it initially and
Speaker 1: I did not want to listen to anything, but that's
Speaker 1: still a place I kind of don't want to go.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you another story that happened today though, and
Speaker 1: this is interesting. I posted a poem on my podcast
Speaker 1: page and it's a beautiful poem. So I posted the
Speaker 1: poem and I had sent this actually to my daughter,
Speaker 1: to Jeff's sister, and I put the emojis on there.
Speaker 1: I put a couple of emojis. I put a heart
Speaker 1: with stars on it, and then I put one hundred
Speaker 1: percent thing and then I put a thumbs up and
Speaker 1: that's what I sent to her yesterday. And today I
Speaker 1: put it on the podcast. Well, you know, I put
Speaker 1: those things on there. I posted it and I looked
Speaker 1: at it and there's a buffalo in there, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I didn't click on the buffalo, and I
Speaker 1: was going to change it and take it out, and
Speaker 1: then I thought Jeff. Jeff and I were huge are
Speaker 1: huge Buffalo Bills fans, and we watched every single game together.
Speaker 1: We have his jersey up in our garage with lights
Speaker 1: around it on a memorial wall for Jeff and everything.
Speaker 1: I acknowledge him. Every game we do jello shots for
Speaker 1: the Bill's touchdowns. I do one for him. Every time.
Speaker 1: You know, so, but the buffalo's in there, and I
Speaker 1: was like, of course, I mean just crazy stuff, amazing.
Speaker 3: It's like he has a great sense of humor. Oh absolutely,
Speaker 3: and being a young man, because you're a young man.
Speaker 3: There's technology, there's different ways I think they'll used to
Speaker 3: be in touch with us. You know, my grandmother died
Speaker 3: at ninety, so she probably not so much would use
Speaker 3: the emojis. I think our personalities and our interests dictate
Speaker 3: how people work with us and through us. So I
Speaker 3: think as much as you're focusing on slowing down, being present,
Speaker 3: paying attention, talking to him, he's being creative in different
Speaker 3: ways to be in touch from his side and what works,
Speaker 3: what doesn't work. Let me knock over the shovel.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. I literally did laugh then, and it was
Speaker 1: a hurtful time, and I just shook my head like, oh, Jeff,
Speaker 1: you know so typical. Like you said, sense of humor
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Talk a little bit about grief because I think
Speaker 3: one of the reasons that we have such a difficult
Speaker 3: time with it, well, one is that's part of our biology.
Speaker 3: But other than that, death is kept so distant from us.
Speaker 3: One hundred years ago people grew up in a totally
Speaker 3: different time and funerals were in their living room. They're parlor, right,
Speaker 3: And it's funny because once they started moving out of
Speaker 3: the house that that's when the name living room came
Speaker 3: because before that it was parlor and that was associated
Speaker 3: with death. And so grief normally hurts awful, But then
Speaker 3: when it's caught out of the blue, and then we've
Speaker 3: never had training on it as human beings, which is
Speaker 3: amazing because people are raised learning how to rear a
Speaker 3: child or get a book on this, that and the
Speaker 3: other thing, but it's not taught about before were And
Speaker 3: so people like you and me and others and let
Speaker 3: people know that this is a very real thing and
Speaker 3: how to best navigate through it. Can we just talk
Speaker 3: a little bit about grief and perhaps your recommendations If
Speaker 3: somebody's going through a time where they're feeling extreme guilt,
Speaker 3: you know those could as should have would have moments
Speaker 3: and replaying things in our mind and the tremendous pain. Yes,
Speaker 3: we're going to point them to Heroes and Grief podcast.
Speaker 3: But what can we do? What are some tools that
Speaker 3: we can do on the court.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'll definitely address that first First of all, you
Speaker 1: shouldn't grieve alone. Nobody should grieve alone. I don't think
Speaker 1: we're meant to. I think we're meant to be together.
Speaker 1: And especially in the greeting process, so many things can
Speaker 1: happen when you're associated with other people, and especially other
Speaker 1: people who have been grieving. They understand things on a
Speaker 1: level that you can relate to. And so it really
Speaker 1: helps that those things about grief or in all of that,
Speaker 1: the troublesome scenes. I experienced that myself, the things that
Speaker 1: pop into your head, it's a retraining of the mind.
Speaker 1: You need to acknowledge it at the time, and you
Speaker 1: need to feel it. Anything with grief, you need to
Speaker 1: feel it and go through it or it's going to
Speaker 1: come back on you at some times. So if you
Speaker 1: want to lessen and quicken the process of living with
Speaker 1: more love than pain in your life through the grief process,
Speaker 1: then you need to deal with it. You need to
Speaker 1: sit down with it and go through it. So when
Speaker 1: the pain comes, when you experience it, when it goes through.
Speaker 1: For instance, that image came through my head. I was
Speaker 1: at the volleyball game and that popped into my head
Speaker 1: and I was like, what you know, and it hurt
Speaker 1: and tears came to my eyes, and I sat with
Speaker 1: it for a second and then I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm going to start replacing this with something else so
Speaker 1: that can move on from my mind. So you deal
Speaker 1: with it, you knowledge. And so what I started doing,
Speaker 1: and this is a suggestion again that I got from
Speaker 1: David Kessler and his sessions in Tender Hearts, the group
Speaker 1: that he has online. You talk to somebody, and he said,
Speaker 1: when those things come, to replace them with better images
Speaker 1: and acknowledgment of the person and things like that. So
Speaker 1: what I do is I say I love you, Jeff.
Speaker 1: I love you Jeff, and I start thinking other things
Speaker 1: about Jeff, the better things, the life things, and retraining
Speaker 1: my mind to get away from that vision and those
Speaker 1: things that are going on. Eventually, that process changes as
Speaker 1: those memories come, and I deal with it a lot quicker. Now,
Speaker 1: you know, I certainly think of it still, It's still
Speaker 1: going to come up in my mind, but it's also
Speaker 1: dealt with differently. I am in a stronger sense with it.
Speaker 1: It's still hurts sometimes sometimes I sit in it and
Speaker 1: I just say it's horrible, and I go through some
Speaker 1: of the details of it and work through it. But
Speaker 1: then I still work to come out of it. And
Speaker 1: you need to do that. You need to look at
Speaker 1: those other things and retrain your to go in a
Speaker 1: different direction. So you talked about being more proactive in
Speaker 1: the grief conversation, and this is a huge passion of mine.
Speaker 1: It's just it's come out of nowhere. But I think
Speaker 1: that this needs to be part of wellness training, it
Speaker 1: needs to be part of early education. We're all going
Speaker 1: to go through grief. There's so many resources in the
Speaker 1: underground of us grief workers. And I found this out
Speaker 1: because I'm a good networker and on social media. You know,
Speaker 1: there's hundreds of podcasts out there about grief. Everybody's like, Oh,
Speaker 1: you're doing such a remarkable thing. There's plenty out there,
Speaker 1: people just don't know about them. This is where our
Speaker 1: society squelches the grief conversation and says, oh, we don't
Speaker 1: want grief. They're okay on a reactive situation. But we
Speaker 1: could be way more proactive than grief and the conversation.
Speaker 1: And I think it should be done in workplaces. I
Speaker 1: think it should be done in the student settings to
Speaker 1: help people be more equipped with grief. Whether it's for
Speaker 1: the grieving person or the people around them. They can
Speaker 1: be educated better how to be around a grieving person
Speaker 1: and make it a lot easier on you and them.
Speaker 1: So many people they'll ask the question, how are you doing,
Speaker 1: and then you start really telling them as an honest
Speaker 1: grieving person, and they don't want to hear that. They're
Speaker 1: not ready for that. They need to understand that they
Speaker 1: need to receive it and be ready to receive in
Speaker 1: love and compassion. Sometimes a grieving person, even though they're
Speaker 1: grieving for a long time, all of a sudden, may
Speaker 1: just start crying at work, and somebody may think that
Speaker 1: they cause that to happen or whatever. No, it happens
Speaker 1: and it still happens. So there's just a lot of
Speaker 1: things that people can be enlightened to. I think I
Speaker 1: would really love to be part of that process. I
Speaker 1: started a thing called Grief Talks, where I'm pushing to
Speaker 1: try to get into places to be able to do
Speaker 1: that type of thing, and of course also help in
Speaker 1: a grieving situation. If something has happened at a place
Speaker 1: or organization, whatever it may be, it doesn't matter to
Speaker 1: me where I go. So that's a big passion and Yeah,
Speaker 1: you struck a chord there with beyond that, and it
Speaker 1: seems to come up again and again really for me.
Speaker 1: So that's how I know that the universe is kind
Speaker 1: of leading you in that way. You get these pushes
Speaker 1: and they keep coming up again and again the same
Speaker 1: circumstances are people talking about it, So I feel that
Speaker 1: I'm headed in that direction for sure.
Speaker 3: I know my listeners know my story, and I know
Speaker 3: you're going to be interviewing me next week, so I
Speaker 3: won't get too much into this right now. But with me,
Speaker 3: grief devastated me. With the death of my father causing
Speaker 3: a breakdown of my relationships with siblings. I hit rock bottom.
Speaker 3: And before that I knew I was going to someday
Speaker 3: share the afterlife stuff that I was learning, But it
Speaker 3: was really learning about grief and the impact and things
Speaker 3: we can do to move through the pain that gave
Speaker 3: me the kick in the butt to get these words
Speaker 3: out there. And I really did want to share what
Speaker 3: I knew about the afterlife. So the book's titled We
Speaker 3: Don't Die as Skeptics Discovery of Life after Death. But
Speaker 3: I thought, like it or not, I'm going to educate
Speaker 3: people on grief and so that's chapter ten.
Speaker 1: So folks like.
Speaker 3: It or not, but you do like it because you
Speaker 3: realize that grief isn't just when a loved one dies.
Speaker 3: It can be for so many different things that happen
Speaker 3: with relationships, and you know, so many different things. So
Speaker 3: I think anytime we can give somebody a helping hand.
Speaker 3: And for those people that are uncomfortable, they don't know
Speaker 3: how to deal with it, well, it's just because grief
Speaker 3: hasn't hit you yet, but it will. And I would
Speaker 3: much rather hear from somebody who's experienced grief because they know.
Speaker 3: It's like a club that we belong to that we
Speaker 3: didn't really ask to be part of, but it really
Speaker 3: helps people need people we don't want to be alone.
Speaker 3: And so I applaud you for that. What else can
Speaker 3: we find on your website, Heroes in Grief dot com.
Speaker 3: There's a way to access your podcast there right.
Speaker 1: All the informations. There are links to go to where
Speaker 1: you need to go to. I have a couple groups
Speaker 1: that I started on Facebook. I searched resources early on,
Speaker 1: probably in the springtime, right after Jeff passed. I searched
Speaker 1: online for a local grief group on Facebook because I
Speaker 1: tend to do well online, so that's why I do
Speaker 1: that type of stuff. So I looked and there was
Speaker 1: no group. I was shocked to find that there was
Speaker 1: no grief group for Western New York people or Buffalo
Speaker 1: or any of the area. So I started one, and
Speaker 1: it's called Western New York Network for Grief and the Grieving.
Speaker 1: But it's for people just to have a safe place
Speaker 1: to come and share grief with others. I have a
Speaker 1: grief Talks Facebook page. I have Friends of the podcast
Speaker 1: page where people could discuss things about the podcast if
Speaker 1: they wish, and the YouTube page, and now the Grief
Speaker 1: Talks that I'm trying to get out there as well.
Speaker 1: There's a shop on there and it has the books
Speaker 1: and resources from the guests that I've had on the podcast,
Speaker 1: so those are available there and the links are always
Speaker 1: in the show notes of the shows that I do too.
Speaker 3: My friends. I'm going to stop for our break here,
Speaker 3: and why I'm doing that is because when we get back,
Speaker 3: Tom will continue talking about some interesting things he does
Speaker 3: as an Uber driver to engage in the conversation, and
Speaker 3: then also we'll get back to those three questions I
Speaker 3: asked you in the beginning. So we'll be right back.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio
Speaker 3: and Coast to Coast AM Paranormal Podcast Network. Welcome back
Speaker 3: to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandras Champlain and we
Speaker 3: are here with the fabulous Tom Bender, host of Heroes
Speaker 3: in Grief podcast. Tom seems to have found one of
Speaker 3: his life purposes helping people through grief, and you may
Speaker 3: be surprised to learn how he engages people in conversation because,
Speaker 3: as we know, people need people. So let's continue with Tom.
Speaker 1: You are speaking, and it struck me too that so
Speaker 1: many people they may reach out just once and have
Speaker 1: a bad experience or not get what they wanted. I
Speaker 1: just want to tell people you got to keep pressing.
Speaker 1: There's something out there for you, and the same thing
Speaker 1: with resources, There's something for you there, and I just
Speaker 1: want to encourage people to press on in that and
Speaker 1: you can get help for sure.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Can we just do a little plug for
Speaker 3: our friends at Helpingparents Heal dot org and let us
Speaker 3: know the difference they've made or what's available.
Speaker 1: I am passionate about helping parents heal and I'm in
Speaker 1: helping fathers heal group. It's just dads we've lost children.
Speaker 1: It is a Facebook group, but we have a zoom
Speaker 1: session meeting with the men every Wednesday night. It's eight
Speaker 1: easterns so whatever that works out in the other time zones.
Speaker 1: You want to be there every single a week. And
Speaker 1: every man says that in the group. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't wait for Wednesdays. It's men sharing as men
Speaker 1: do and that is great. So helping parents heal in general.
Speaker 1: I got to go to the conference in August. They
Speaker 1: have a conference every two years don a Phoenix. We
Speaker 1: had evidential mediums there who brought out the children for
Speaker 1: certain parents there, and one gentleman his daughter came through
Speaker 1: and he was behind me in the conference room and
Speaker 1: it was so personal and obviously things that no way
Speaker 1: these mediums could know from any other source. And afterwards
Speaker 1: I said to that dad, and he's a rawnie guy,
Speaker 1: he's military or whatever, and I said, were you like
Speaker 1: bawling because I was when they were saying what they
Speaker 1: were saying his daughter was coming through, and he goes,
Speaker 1: of course, I was bawling, And so he's actually written
Speaker 1: his story now. Mike Johnson is just paid remarkable on
Speaker 1: helping Parents Heal. But when I was there, and you
Speaker 1: want that and you desire that. And then I heard
Speaker 1: one of the speakers say, if you're trying is not
Speaker 1: coming through, don't get discouraged. It may be that possibly
Speaker 1: you don't need it as much as somebody else, or
Speaker 1: something like that. And I thought about that. I thought
Speaker 1: that may be the case. I don't know. I feel
Speaker 1: okay and strong in this, and I know Jeff's present.
Speaker 1: And then I thought about it. And as I said
Speaker 1: to you before, if I thought about all the things
Speaker 1: that have occurred to me through Jeff and with Jeff,
Speaker 1: that I would have a legal binder to take into
Speaker 1: court and show my evidence. It would be huge. I
Speaker 1: don't document it. I should. Everybody says about your thing,
Speaker 1: and I know it's great, but I don't. But I
Speaker 1: would have that. I don't have to worry about it.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Helpingparents Heal dot Org is the website and
Speaker 3: there's somewhere around twenty thousand members, big organization. If you're
Speaker 3: not a parent, you can still access the YouTube channel
Speaker 3: and the website. There's lots of resources on the website itself,
Speaker 3: but the YouTube channel is loaded with just great videos
Speaker 3: and interviews and meet demonstrations and if people don't know,
Speaker 3: every Sunday at two pm Eastern time, we do a
Speaker 3: free inspirational, non denominational service on Zoom. Everybody's welcome. In
Speaker 3: the last forty five minutes of each one is a
Speaker 3: medium demonstration. So it occurred to me, Tom, while we're talking,
Speaker 3: I'm going to throw this out there. Would you like
Speaker 3: to be a guest speaker sometime on our Sunday gathering?
Speaker 1: Wow? What an honor. I would absolutely be honored to
Speaker 1: do that. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 3: It just words that I know will make a difference.
Speaker 3: So we'll talk about that after while we're here together.
Speaker 3: You're welcome. I just you're somebody that makes a difference
Speaker 3: and I can get your words to the most amount
Speaker 3: of people. That's what I'm here to do. I've taken
Speaker 3: courses in medium ship. I'm not an active medium. I
Speaker 3: don't do medium readings, but I feel like the universe
Speaker 3: is using me as a medium in a different way
Speaker 3: to get good people's stories out to the most amount
Speaker 3: of people, to help get through grief, look at life
Speaker 3: the bigger picture, and to know that we're each important
Speaker 3: in our own unique way. We're all those facets of
Speaker 3: the diamond, all perfect hole and complete, and to know
Speaker 3: there's just such a bigger purpose. So Tom, what else
Speaker 3: would you like to share with our minutes together? If
Speaker 3: there's anything I should have asked you that I didn't
Speaker 3: any maybe last words of inspiration you have.
Speaker 1: I continually go back to who I was, I think
Speaker 1: and where people may be. We progress in this, and
Speaker 1: we have this belief and trust in this now and
Speaker 1: confidence in this. And I think of the people who
Speaker 1: aren't there, and I can almost see it as being
Speaker 1: something that's almost not offensive but discouraging to them. So
Speaker 1: I'm sensitive to them, and it just keeps raising up
Speaker 1: for me too, And I just want to tell you
Speaker 1: that once again, we are just normal folks who have
Speaker 1: experienced these great things and are sharing them with you.
Speaker 1: And I tell people sometimes these discussions come up in
Speaker 1: my car. I drive for a company here in the
Speaker 1: Falls that does charters and things like that, but I
Speaker 1: also drive uber and lyft during the day, and I
Speaker 1: decided to put a placard on the back of my
Speaker 1: seats that the people can see while they're riding in
Speaker 1: my car, and I put in there, and I believe
Speaker 1: I was led to put this, I put my son
Speaker 1: Jeff passed from Fennol and then I put I'm okay
Speaker 1: to talk about it. And I think that line has
Speaker 1: made such a difference, And this has really brought out
Speaker 1: conversations with people and sometimes their addicts, sometimes they're grieving people,
Speaker 1: sometimes they know somebody else in grief, and so I
Speaker 1: feel I was led to do that to foster this
Speaker 1: conversation even in that context. So I just want to
Speaker 1: tell people that there's so much available for you and
Speaker 1: if you can share with people who maybe alone in
Speaker 1: their grief. I did have a woman contact me recently
Speaker 1: lost her daughter and they just sit at the dining
Speaker 1: room table every day and don't do anything. It's been months,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you got to get together with people.
Speaker 1: The community is need to get you through these things,
Speaker 1: and so you need to do that. And there's so
Speaker 1: many resources available. That's you know, and that's part of
Speaker 1: the podcast too. It can fit your style for every
Speaker 1: make or size of person. For sure, there's something out
Speaker 1: there for you and something you could connect with. Just
Speaker 1: start looking into it. Start explore it like you would
Speaker 1: anything else. You'd research anything else, right, So just look
Speaker 1: into it. We don't have to recruit you. It's not
Speaker 1: about recruiting. We just tell our stories and what we're experiencing,
Speaker 1: and we get excited about them because we know that
Speaker 1: other people can experience that too, and that's the greatest thing.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for that. You just brought to my
Speaker 3: mind the word inspiration. And when I was writing my book,
Speaker 3: I got some coaching that just start writing even if
Speaker 3: you don't know what to say, and it's like this
Speaker 3: wind of inspiration in spirit comes to help. Last night,
Speaker 3: I was recording a podcast and I needed some help editing,
Speaker 3: and I just I was procrastinating. Just start and then
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, whosh, it came in. So, whether
Speaker 3: it's researching the afterlife, grief, whatever that is in your
Speaker 3: life that you're passionate about it, like you said, just
Speaker 3: keep pushing, take that one step in the direction of it.
Speaker 3: And I believe those in the unseen world that spirit
Speaker 3: or the soul within will kick in, but it takes
Speaker 3: us taking that very first action.
Speaker 1: Yes, and your journey is your own. You know where
Speaker 1: you are is all right. But I tell some of
Speaker 1: these people who talk to me in the car and
Speaker 1: they're just sometimes they just shaking their heads, like where
Speaker 1: did this come from? And what I say is, for
Speaker 1: one thing, I do not believe in coincidences. They were
Speaker 1: there for a reason. They were put in my car,
Speaker 1: We were connected for a reason. You're hearing this podcast
Speaker 1: for a reason right now, folks out there who are listening,
Speaker 1: and there's a reason why you've listened to it today.
Speaker 1: And so that's what I tell you to explore, not
Speaker 1: any particular thing that we've said or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but they are resources for you to explore that you
Speaker 1: were put here to listen or to receive what you've
Speaker 1: gained from whatever you hear or listen to from somebody.
Speaker 1: So that's the remarkable thing to me. I tell this
Speaker 1: person in the car, don't think of me or whatever.
Speaker 1: Think of the fact that you were in this car
Speaker 1: and there's reason why you were there, and that's what
Speaker 1: you need to explore.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, And yeah, I know it's not about you,
Speaker 3: it's not about me. We're the messengers. If it was
Speaker 3: about us, we'd have a big egos and the world
Speaker 3: couldn't handle it. No, no, no, So just keep staying grounded.
Speaker 3: And also that's a really good tool for people to use.
Speaker 3: What you put on the back of your seats. We
Speaker 3: connect when we can feel each other's humanity. And yes,
Speaker 3: you know, people post pictures of the food they eat
Speaker 3: on social media and all that good stuff, but it
Speaker 3: really is when we get into these heart to heart
Speaker 3: conversations and if we can give ourselves the permission to
Speaker 3: share some of those things, other people feel like, hey,
Speaker 3: if he's talking about this, I can too. And that's
Speaker 3: where you can make the real connections with other human beings.
Speaker 3: And people need people.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know that is something that came to
Speaker 1: mind as you were saying then, is that these people
Speaker 1: want it. They want that conversation, they've wanted it, and
Speaker 1: that's what I feel when they leave sometimes.
Speaker 3: Well, Tom, I need at doing what you're doing. And Tom,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for being our guest today.
Speaker 1: Thank you, and like I said, it's such a privilege
Speaker 1: in looking forward to hearing more about you.
Speaker 3: Tom and I have become friends and very soon you
Speaker 3: can find my episode with him on Heroes in Grief
Speaker 3: dot com. Tom has found a life purpose, as have I.
Speaker 3: But is it the life purpose? Is there a purpose
Speaker 3: to each of our lives like one? Nope, I don't
Speaker 3: think so. While we're on this planet. If you look
Speaker 3: at the person you've been being, what you've been doing,
Speaker 3: the people you've been with, you may see a trend.
Speaker 3: Our life purpose does not have to be one thing.
Speaker 3: It can be how we're being. I'm someone who likes
Speaker 3: to make a difference. I'm someone who loves to share.
Speaker 3: I'm someone who likes to have fun. All of those
Speaker 3: are part of my life purpose. But if we go
Speaker 3: back to those three questions, here they are. If I
Speaker 3: knew I couldn't fail, what would I do or be?
Speaker 3: If I knew I had one hundred million dollars in
Speaker 3: the bank, what would I.
Speaker 1: Do or be?
Speaker 3: And the last, if I knew I had only six
Speaker 3: months to live? What would I do or be? There's
Speaker 3: a time of year, my friend, that people make resolutions.
Speaker 3: Instead of looking at what's wrong, look at what's right.
Speaker 3: Look at who you've been being and what you've been doing.
Speaker 3: Answer those questions for yourself. Program your GPS in that direction,
Speaker 3: and I promise you, when you take action, the invisible
Speaker 3: forces will kick in and add wind to your sales,
Speaker 3: bringing you towards the life of your dreams. As a reminder,
Speaker 3: come visit me at We Don't Die Dot com. I'm
Speaker 3: Sandra Champlain. Thank you so much for listening to Shades
Speaker 3: of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast
Speaker 3: am Paranormal Podcast Network.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to the iHeartRadio and Coast to Ghost
Speaker 2: Day and Paranormal Podcast Network. Make sure and check out
Speaker 2: all our shows on the iHeartRadio app or by going
Speaker 2: to iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm