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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast,

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Speaker 1: Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.

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Speaker 2: All right, Welcome everybody to the very first ever episode

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Speaker 2: of Unbreakable, a mental health podcast.

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Speaker 3: I'm your host, Jay Glazier.

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Speaker 2: And you may be asking, why is the guy from

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Speaker 2: Fox NFL Sunday and Bawlers hosting a mental health podcast. Well,

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Speaker 2: that's because for years I have lived in something that

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Speaker 2: I call the gray depression, anxiety that's throwing some add

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Speaker 2: while we're at it, and I've kind.

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Speaker 3: Of hitten it.

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Speaker 2: For all these years, I've put on a different mask

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Speaker 2: for all you to see me in a certain light.

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Speaker 2: Well those days are over, and we all talk about

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Speaker 2: mental health these days, but who gives it words? So

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Speaker 2: by this podcast, I hope to give it words. I

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Speaker 2: hope to be able to give us all the words,

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Speaker 2: to have the conversations to describe it. The more we

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Speaker 2: could talk about it, the more we could take the

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Speaker 2: shame away, and the more we realize that we're not alone.

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Speaker 2: We're walking this walk together with so many other people.

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Speaker 2: And my goal with this podcast is to help us all.

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Speaker 3: Through the gray and find a way to the blue.

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Speaker 3: That's our goal.

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Speaker 2: That's what I want to do, and I want to

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Speaker 2: build up one big, badass army together. We can all

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Speaker 2: hunt this blue together and tell the gray to go

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Speaker 2: screw off. And sometimes I'm not going to use the

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Speaker 2: nicest words in this podcast because quite frankly, the gray

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Speaker 2: doesn't deserve to be spoken too nicely.

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Speaker 3: So again, why meet? I think you know.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a therapist. I'm not a doctor, I'm not

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Speaker 2: a teacher. My expertise isn't suffering. One thing God blessed

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Speaker 2: me with the ability to do is that's talk and communicate.

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Speaker 2: And I want to be able to communicate this now

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Speaker 2: so we start to feel like we're in the majority,

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Speaker 2: the more we could feel like this is not just

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Speaker 2: special to us, and it'll make us feel like we're

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Speaker 2: not alone. So I wrote a book this year called Unbreakable,

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Speaker 2: How I Turn My depression anxis and Motivation.

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Speaker 3: And you can too.

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Speaker 2: And in the book, I describe what it's like to

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Speaker 2: go through this depression and anxiety, the pain, the gray,

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Speaker 2: the hopelessness of it. And in that book, as I

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Speaker 2: describe it, it's to a certain individual who's really trying

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Speaker 2: to learn about what the gray is like, and with

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Speaker 2: that I bring in that individual, proud to have him

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Speaker 2: as my first guest. It's Rams head coach Sean McVay, who,

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Speaker 2: by the way, is playing in his season opener tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: So I appreciate you joining us today, Sean. I mean,

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Speaker 2: nobody better to kick this off with than you, since

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Speaker 2: you've been there with me, really trying to understand it

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Speaker 2: from day one with me.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think the first thing is is how much

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Speaker 4: I've learned from you and the willingness to be secure

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Speaker 4: enough to acknowledge some of these things that you go

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Speaker 4: through and that so many different people go through. But

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Speaker 4: I've talked a lot about this, you and I have

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Speaker 4: talked about it Jay with some of our closest friends,

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Speaker 4: and I think the best thing that you're doing right

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Speaker 4: now is a lot of people talk about what comes first,

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Speaker 4: trusts or vulnerability, and I think the fact that you're

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Speaker 4: so secure in yourself to be vulnerable to acknowledge the

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Speaker 4: things that a lot of people are I'm sure our

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Speaker 4: feeling and going through leads to that trust, and that's

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Speaker 4: not the other way around. And I think that's why

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Speaker 4: we've gotten so close. I've learned so much from you.

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Speaker 4: With your willingness to acknowledge it. I think in some

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Speaker 4: form or fashion. You know, everybody experiences these types of feelings,

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Speaker 4: but it's understanding there is strength and the vulnerability. It's

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Speaker 4: not a weakness to acknowledge it. And how can we

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Speaker 4: use those things and lean on people that are going

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Speaker 4: through it to be able to be mentally and physically

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Speaker 4: tough but not be you know, in denial of These

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Speaker 4: are real things.

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Speaker 5: These are real emotions.

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Speaker 4: And acknowledging that provides the strength to be able to

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Speaker 4: push through and get to the blue like you talk about.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's it's funny because we talk about strength, right,

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Speaker 2: and people ask me and I think you asked me also,

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Speaker 2: like you know, aren't you afraid?

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Speaker 3: Like man, you're this tough guy, And I view it

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Speaker 3: the other way.

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Speaker 2: No, because I'm in the center of dudism, right, I'm

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Speaker 2: football fighting ballers. I look like I could cry on

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Speaker 2: the drop of a time. But I think that's the problem.

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Speaker 2: In a lot of your locker rooms, guys don't look

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Speaker 2: at it that way. They look at it like if

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Speaker 2: they open up, they're gonna be ostracized, They're.

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Speaker 3: Gonna be called whoosies. They may get cut.

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Speaker 2: How do you handle trying to let these guys now

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Speaker 2: know they have a landing spot.

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Speaker 4: I think the first thing is, I think there's this

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Speaker 4: narrative that's pushed, whether it be by social media or

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Speaker 4: the external things that everybody sees, that's just not real.

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Speaker 4: You know, everybody lives real lives, and even though certain

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Speaker 4: people are put on pedestals where they are you know,

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Speaker 4: expected to be just perfect, I think come that comes

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Speaker 4: with a pressure where people are more outside and inside

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Speaker 4: out than ever before. And this is about being inside out.

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Speaker 4: This is about relationships, the character that you have and

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Speaker 4: being able to know that, hey, you know, life is

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Speaker 4: about being able to handle the ebbs and flows. Nothing

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Speaker 4: is perfect, but also being willing to say, you know what,

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Speaker 4: I'm having a tough time with this and what an

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Speaker 4: ex sale comes with that when in a lot of instances,

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Speaker 4: those people that you're saying and they never have that

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Speaker 4: when you actually open up to them, they're saying, you know,

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Speaker 4: I'm feeling the same thing, and that provides a relief

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Speaker 4: and an ability for people to be able to lean

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Speaker 4: on each other.

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Speaker 5: And I think in a lot.

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Speaker 4: Of instances, allowing people to be human, you know that

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Speaker 4: there's this narrative that I think people have to be

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Speaker 4: perfect and that's just that's not real that that leads

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Speaker 4: to a life that I don't think is fulfilling. But

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Speaker 4: acknowledging that and then being able to use the people

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Speaker 4: that you're around to be able to provide that support structure,

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Speaker 4: like what you've done for so many people, is what

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Speaker 4: allows you to be able to overcome those things. Acknowledge it,

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Speaker 4: and then let's attack it the right way. And that's

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Speaker 4: what we try to do with our guys, and I

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Speaker 4: think it's I think it's very very unrealistic to not

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Speaker 4: expect people to have bad moments, But how do we

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Speaker 4: prevent those bad moments from turning into bad days? And

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Speaker 4: that's being there for somebody, being unconditional, letting people know

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Speaker 4: that you love them no matter what and you're gonna

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Speaker 4: be there to help put your arm around them.

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Speaker 3: How do you get your guys to try trust the

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Speaker 3: people on the team though, To talk about this.

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Speaker 4: I think the vulnerability, I think the acknowledgement is starting.

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Speaker 4: We have my own insecurities, my different things.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 4: One of the things that we've talked about this a lot,

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Speaker 4: and you know me a lot better than most and

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Speaker 4: you know, sometimes you're innately thrust into a leadership role where, hey,

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Speaker 4: it takes a lot of time to be able to

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Speaker 4: get yourself to those positions where when you get up

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Speaker 4: in front of the guys, you believe, Hey, this is

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Speaker 4: how we're going to overcome that resilience, you know, some

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Speaker 4: of that adversity that we face. But getting to that

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Speaker 4: point can be a struggle. And I think in a

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Speaker 4: lot of instances acknowledging to the players that Hey, while

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Speaker 4: I feel a very big responsibility to help and set

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Speaker 4: the tone for you guys and being a resilient leader,

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Speaker 4: I have my own insecurities and flaws as well, and

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Speaker 4: to not you know, to be so naive to think

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Speaker 4: that those things aren't real. You know, I think you

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Speaker 4: lose guys if you don't acknowledge that. And I think

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Speaker 4: that's been a big thing that's brought our team together,

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Speaker 4: where we've got such special people and you really know

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Speaker 4: our group really well, Jay, But perfection, No, nobody's perfect.

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Speaker 4: And I think one of the things is the accountability,

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Speaker 4: the vulnerability that's shared, whether it be for myself, our coaches,

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Speaker 4: our team leaders. I think that helps create and cultivate

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Speaker 4: an atmosphere and environment that's conducive for real shit to occur,

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Speaker 4: you know, for you to be able to really work

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Speaker 4: through adversity and acknowledge the things that you know. It

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Speaker 4: used to be, Oh, you can't say that because now

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Speaker 4: you're not this perfect guy. I think their strength and

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Speaker 4: the vulnerability, like I've said over and over in these

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Speaker 4: first few minutes, and that was one of the reasons

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Speaker 4: why I think we've gotten so close, is because I

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Speaker 4: love the fact that, hey, you are this tough, maniac, hardwired,

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Speaker 4: driven guy that communicates brings people together all the different stuff,

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Speaker 4: whether it's the fight background, the relationships you've built in

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Speaker 4: the NFL, you know, but that willingness is why so

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Speaker 4: many people are drawn to you to be able to say, hey,

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Speaker 4: I'm not perfect, you know, but I am still going

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Speaker 4: to be myself and we all have our things that

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Speaker 4: we work through. And I think that that that bonds

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Speaker 4: people and that brings people together, and that's what you've done.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: I want to get real with you here because when

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Speaker 2: we first had the conversation, do you remember, you didn't

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Speaker 2: get it right. You didn't really understand the depression anxiety.

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Speaker 2: And your question to me was wait, so you just

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Speaker 2: wake up sad. Why do you remember my answer to you?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I do remember it, and I think in a

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Speaker 5: lot of instances, you.

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Speaker 2: Know what with a specific one line answer, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: mean we've talked about this, it's a lot.

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Speaker 5: There's you have a lot of ways of describing this.

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Speaker 3: I have depression, anxiety, and that's all. That's what I said.

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Speaker 2: You said, no, no, I get that, but fill me up.

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Speaker 4: What I was asking is what do you think led

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Speaker 4: to it? You know, because in a lot of instances,

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Speaker 4: you know, some of the things that I've worked through

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Speaker 4: are all right, well, what is the root of it?

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Speaker 5: How do we attack the problem?

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Speaker 4: We're always solution oriented, and what you helped me, you know,

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Speaker 4: have an understanding for, is that there sometimes is just

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Speaker 4: things with the way that we're innately hardwired that hey, man,

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Speaker 4: I don't ever choose to feel this way, but this

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Speaker 4: is how I feel, you know, And I think educating

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Speaker 4: yourself on feeling and knowing are two totally different things.

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Speaker 5: You know, Hey, I don't want.

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Speaker 4: To be this way, but I feel this way, and

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Speaker 4: those emotions are strong, and in a lot of instances,

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Speaker 4: I think when we go back to those conversations, a

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Speaker 4: couple of years ago. You know, you're still maturing as

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Speaker 4: a man, and I don't even know if I was

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Speaker 4: secure enough at that point to acknowledge that. Yeah, in

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Speaker 4: some form or fashion, you have those feelings, you know,

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Speaker 4: I'm talking about myself. Yeah, but you know, is there

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Speaker 4: really the security and the comfort to be able to acknowledge, like, hey,

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Speaker 4: there's times too, man, where I'm not feeling great myself,

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Speaker 4: you know, whether it be because of the stress of

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Speaker 4: the job or whatever you have going on, because you

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Speaker 4: want everything to kind of be in order. But I

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Speaker 4: think just continuing to mature and acknowledge that these are

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Speaker 4: real emotions that people feel, some stronger than others, and

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Speaker 4: being able to have that empathy and understanding when you

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Speaker 4: have people like you that are such close friends of mine,

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Speaker 4: has certainly helped me in a lot of ways be

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Speaker 4: able to connect with people in an authentic manner and

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Speaker 4: then also be able to help, you know, overcome some

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Speaker 4: of the temporary things where you're not feeling so good

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Speaker 4: yourself talking about me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, And you know it's interesting because you just

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Speaker 3: said it.

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Speaker 2: You said I didn't know if I was secure enough

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Speaker 2: to talk about it back then, right, And that night,

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Speaker 2: I was like, hey, Sean, you don't You may not

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Speaker 2: get it because your eyes said your life is like

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Speaker 2: a night light, like your your parents look like the

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Speaker 2: people who you bought, who are in the picture frames

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Speaker 2: you buy from the Target. And the worst thing that

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Speaker 2: ever happened to you is you didn't win the super

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Speaker 2: Bowl and your second year as young as head coach ever,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, you may not get this because you

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Speaker 2: don't have the same childhood drama that a lot of

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Speaker 2: other people have.

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Speaker 3: But the evolution last year when you struggled.

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Speaker 2: Last year you went over for November, you struggled, and

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Speaker 2: that's the first time I think.

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Speaker 3: You turned to some of your boys. You turned to me,

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Speaker 3: you turned to Andrew Whitworth, you.

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Speaker 2: Turned to a lot of us, and for the first

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Speaker 2: time you're like, all right, I'm fucked up right now.

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Speaker 3: I need some help instead of just carrying it on yourself.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I totally agree, And I think so much of

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Speaker 4: you know, some of the own internal pressure or stress

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Speaker 4: that I put on myself was when I was too

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Speaker 4: reliant on the outside in narrative, you know, it was

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Speaker 4: more about me than I'd ever like to admit.

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Speaker 5: In terms of your ego getting in the way and

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Speaker 5: that leading to insecurity.

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Speaker 4: And then what you really realize is, hey, these feelings

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Speaker 4: and things like that, it's okay to feel it, but

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Speaker 4: let's really unpack them and understand, all right, well, why

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Speaker 4: do you feel this way? And then when you realize

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Speaker 4: it's about relationships, it's about being able to kind of

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Speaker 4: be there for people when they need you the most,

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Speaker 4: and it's not about your selfish ambitions or worried about

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Speaker 4: your ego getting in the way.

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Speaker 5: That to me, has been the most helpful thing.

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Speaker 4: When it became more about leaning on people like you,

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Speaker 4: leaning on the staffers, the whitworst our coaches Raheem Morris

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Speaker 4: for Sule, You know those kind of guys and know

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Speaker 4: one that, Ay, what really matters is the people that

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Speaker 4: are unconditional in your life.

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Speaker 5: But I know a lot of my own problems have.

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Speaker 4: Come from a results oriented business that is so highly scrutinized.

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Speaker 4: And then you come in as an early coach, you know,

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Speaker 4: you're almost naive to the fact of what a great,

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Speaker 4: big opportunity it is, and then you start to realize

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Speaker 4: what's going on and you can let that insecurity creep in.

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Speaker 4: If you're so relying on your self worth is predicated

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Speaker 4: on what the headlines say, and I think then you

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Speaker 4: have a better understanding of man. Where you're really fulfilled

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Speaker 4: is when you're being a real person that acknowledges the

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Speaker 4: insecurities that we all face, but then being able to

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Speaker 4: help people come through on the right side or lean

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Speaker 4: on them to help you come out on the right side,

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Speaker 4: where it becomes a purpose driven life, about those relationships,

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Speaker 4: about the character that you have in the way that

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Speaker 4: you handle those toughest moments, and man, it was. It

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Speaker 4: was a tough time and I don't know that you

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Speaker 4: can ever really replicate it when you're in those moments,

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Speaker 4: because when you look back on it, it's easy to say, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you know, this is how we handled it. But I

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Speaker 4: think you know, the people that are closest to me, Veronica,

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Speaker 4: my wife, and my family, you know, they know that

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Speaker 4: it was definitely the right way that we handled it.

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Speaker 4: But that doesn't mean what's simple is always easy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but here's where you were great, here's where you're different,

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Speaker 2: right because two years ago you just would have and

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Speaker 2: early on last year when we were talking about You're like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. I'm like, no, right,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, you're not good, broke, You're not good right,

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Speaker 2: And I kept calling you to make sure you're okay,

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Speaker 2: and you know, you were like, hey, I don't think

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Speaker 2: the guys can even tell them struggling. And what you

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Speaker 2: didn't know is like five year guys are calling me

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Speaker 2: and going, oh, man, you gotta do something about your boy.

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Speaker 2: You got to help the me know he's just And

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Speaker 2: then you and I had that talk. But where you

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Speaker 2: changed as you started calling me, You started reaching out

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Speaker 2: to help for me instead of me calling you constantly.

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Speaker 2: You acting like, oh, no, I'm fine when you weren't fine,

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Speaker 2: and you got up in front of the team. There's

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Speaker 2: one time I remember, at the end of November, you

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Speaker 2: got up in front of the team and you finally

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Speaker 2: opened up to them like, man, I'm struggling, And it

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Speaker 2: just I think changed your whole dynamic with him.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think you know.

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Speaker 4: My natural inclination, you know all along is when you

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Speaker 4: go through something, you know it's your job as a

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Speaker 4: man to solve the problems on your own, and you

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Speaker 4: internalize it all and then you actually draw further away

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Speaker 4: from the people that you need to draw nearer to

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Speaker 4: the opposite when you actually handle it the right way.

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Speaker 4: And I don't think it's by mistake that good things result.

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Speaker 4: It as a you know, you know, in response to

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Speaker 4: leaning on people more acknowledging some of those things where hey,

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Speaker 4: you can still be a strong leader and actually even

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Speaker 4: a stronger leader by acknowledging the real emotions that you're feeling.

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Speaker 5: That doesn't make you weak, that actually makes you strong.

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Speaker 4: And I thought that was really demonstrated by whether it's you,

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Speaker 4: you know, I see, you know, some of my closest friends,

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Speaker 4: whether they're on the coaching staff or even some of

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Speaker 4: our players, that are great representatives of embody in that

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Speaker 4: type of mindset and mentality. And man, does that come

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Speaker 4: with a comfort because all these things, all these emotions

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Speaker 4: that you know, and you've said this before, and I

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Speaker 4: love the fact that you said, hey, people might have

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Speaker 4: different problems, but they all weigh the same to them

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Speaker 4: and acknowledging that, being empathetic to it, acknowledging your own things,

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Speaker 4: and then how you can band together. And that's really

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Speaker 4: what the preface of Unbreakable has been. Everything that you

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Speaker 4: stand for is bringing people together, understanding that the sum

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Speaker 4: is greater than the parts, and you know, and that

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Speaker 4: to me is what life's about. That's what teams, sports

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Speaker 4: are about, that's what friendships and you know. And it

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Speaker 4: all goes back to being able to, you know, do

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Speaker 4: these things together with people, but not be naive to

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Speaker 4: the fact that and this is hard stuff and real stuff.

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Speaker 2: And I really want our audience to really hear what

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Speaker 2: he just said. All our problems were the same, right,

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Speaker 2: our wallets are non antidepressants. You may sit at home

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Speaker 2: right now and go, oh, come on, as the head

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Speaker 2: coach of the Rams, guys making millions and millions right now,

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Speaker 2: just one of the Trooper Bowl, what kind of problems.

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Speaker 3: Does he have? Listen, we all got problems, right if

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Speaker 3: we didn't.

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Speaker 2: If if our wallet and fame weren't antidepressants, then celebrities

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Speaker 2: wouldn't commit suicide, right, the rich and famous wouldn't kill themselves.

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Speaker 3: And we see it all the time.

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Speaker 2: So it really is I want people to understand, no

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Speaker 2: matter who you are, we all face those issues. And

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Speaker 2: it's interesting because one of the things I have in

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Speaker 2: the book Away Through the Grade of the Blue is

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Speaker 2: to have a team, right, to have a team, but

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Speaker 2: as a head coach, it's so hard to use that

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Speaker 2: pillar to get to the blue or here you have

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Speaker 2: fifty three guys and you're younger, so they're kind of

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Speaker 2: like your peers right in that locker room, a.

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Speaker 3: Bunch of how many coaches you have twenty plus okay, twenty.

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Speaker 2: Plus coaches right, all these people in the building, and

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Speaker 2: yet instead of leaning into your team, you isolated.

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Speaker 3: More and more.

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Speaker 5: That's when I've been at my worst. I've done that,

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Speaker 5: you know.

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Speaker 4: But I think when you start to learn about it,

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Speaker 4: you start to understand better how to you know, whether

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Speaker 4: it's even just mature and as a man, how to

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Speaker 4: handle things better.

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Speaker 5: That's what it's always about.

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Speaker 4: And I think the biggest thing too, though, is is

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Speaker 4: like you say, different problems, I think people acknowledge and

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Speaker 4: come about it in their own timing as well, Like

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Speaker 4: it's got to be on their timing. And that's what

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Speaker 4: I've learned, is like you want to be consistent and know,

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Speaker 4: whether it's players or coaches, you are there for them.

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Speaker 5: Some guys, as soon as.

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Speaker 4: You acknowledge you know certain things, you know, it's like

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Speaker 4: they can't wait for you to ask that so that

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Speaker 4: they can really exhale and pour in and be able to.

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Speaker 5: Really let you know what's going on. And that might

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Speaker 5: happen the first time.

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Speaker 4: There's other guys that you've got to patiently let them

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Speaker 4: come about it in their own way. And and I think

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Speaker 4: that was probably where, uh, it took a little bit

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Speaker 4: more time for me to be able to open up

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Speaker 4: about the things that you know, I've had trouble with.

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Speaker 4: Whether it's acknowledging just some of the own insecurities that

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Speaker 4: you have, you know, whether you say it's oppression, whatever,

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Speaker 4: these are real emotions that are very strong in your internal.

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Speaker 5: Being that are not pleasant.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if it's the gray, but I know

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Speaker 4: it ain't the blue, and you know, and you know,

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Speaker 4: and they you know, hey, it's it's a true thing.

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Speaker 5: But you know, for me, it's just knowing that, you know.

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Speaker 4: I think what's so rare about you, Jay, is you're

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Speaker 4: so willing to share everything. And that's such a great

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Speaker 4: example because of the platform that you have and how

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Speaker 4: you're utilizing it. But just because this is something that's

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Speaker 4: made you so unique and special, it doesn't mean the

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Speaker 4: other people that are struggling with this need to feel like,

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Speaker 4: all right, I'm going to come out with this immediately.

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Speaker 4: It's on your time, sure, and on your time right.

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Speaker 4: Also to be able to have the appropriate healing mechanisms

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Speaker 4: and establish that armor, because you know, it's not like.

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Speaker 4: One of the things that I've learned from you that's

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Speaker 4: been really helpful is you know, it's not like, Okay, hey,

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Speaker 4: I'm having everything's going great. Men the blue all right,

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Speaker 4: and that means now you're just in the blue forever,

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Speaker 4: you know, Okay, How do we handle when that goes

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Speaker 4: back down and you're not feeling good? How are we

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Speaker 4: equipped with the knowledge the ability to own it but

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Speaker 4: then be able to get back to where we want

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Speaker 4: to be. Those are the things that I think people

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Speaker 4: are most interested in learning from you well, and.

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Speaker 2: I want people to understand also, Sean, I've been friends

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Speaker 2: for a while, a really good friends. But I turned

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Speaker 2: to him with my own mental health issues and he's

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Speaker 2: turned to me with his, and it's gotten us closer.

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Speaker 2: Neither one of us has told us to suck it up.

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Speaker 2: I haven't told Sean, oh, stop showing your life's great,

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Speaker 2: just get over it. Oh so what you're losing right now?

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Speaker 2: He's not told me all your life is great? Stop

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Speaker 2: pitching and whining doesn't happen, So the opposite has happened.

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Speaker 3: We've gotten closer because.

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Speaker 2: Of the vulnerability, and I want people at home to

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Speaker 2: understand that everybody I've opened up to it has gotten

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Speaker 2: us closer together. The more you open up to people,

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Speaker 2: the more it's going to draw you in. But for you,

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Speaker 2: sean where you're in a unique position, and there's a

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Speaker 2: lot of people out there, and I guess probably there's

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Speaker 2: some people in a similar position, but maybe maybe now

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Speaker 2: as a football coach, But the leader needs to take

434
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 2: care everybody else, right who takes care of the leader?

435
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 5: Well, I think for me, it's it's where we've been

436
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 5: able to create. You know. It's it's friends like you.

437
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,639
Speaker 4: It's my wife, Veronica, it's my parents, Tim and Cindy,

438
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 4: my family, you know. And I really look at it

439
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 4: as we've got people, whether it's coaches or staff members,

440
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 4: you know, the Reggie Scotts of the world, or Ian Morris.

441
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 5: I mentioned Chris.

442
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,440
Speaker 4: Shwlett, where you can really lean on these guys and

443
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,120
Speaker 4: your players.

444
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:55,439
Speaker 5: You know.

445
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 4: One of the most helpful things, honestly that was probably

446
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,400
Speaker 4: a game changing co conversation is you know, I don't

447
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 4: know how you would categorize and maybe you know this,

448
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,639
Speaker 4: you know, what are different levels of negative feelings that

449
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 4: you have? You know, I don't know if there's a

450
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,640
Speaker 4: specific criteria, but I know that certain emotions are not pleasant.

451
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 4: And when you're going through some of the things that

452
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 4: we went through last year and some of the outside

453
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 4: in narratives with myself and Matthew Stafford, we became.

454
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 5: Really close friends.

455
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 4: And one of the most powerful conversations I've ever had

456
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,800
Speaker 4: with really anybody as it relates to just handling adversity

457
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 4: was when Key and I after we had had that

458
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 4: tough month in November, we lose all three games that

459
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 4: coincided with the bye. We're getting ready for Jacksonville that

460
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,120
Speaker 4: next week, and I think it was you know, it

461
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,199
Speaker 4: never felt like it was too much, but man, it

462
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 4: was a lot, and it was okay for us to say,

463
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,159
Speaker 4: you know, this has been a challenge, but let's not

464
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 4: forget about leaning on each other, enjoying this leading the

465
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 4: way that we know we're capable of and let the

466
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,360
Speaker 4: chips fall where they may. And I know a lot

467
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 4: of the insecurities and the bad emotions that I was

468
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 4: feeling at the time came from me being more outside.

469
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 5: In the inside out. And I don't think it's the

470
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 5: joy one.

471
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 3: You're saying forgetting the joy, you're forgetting the joy of

472
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:06,920
Speaker 3: it one.

473
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 5: Hundred percent, you know.

474
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 4: And then you really start worrying about all right, well, okay,

475
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 4: where does myself worth coming to play because we're not winning?

476
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 4: And then you feel responsible and all that kind of stuff,

477
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 4: and then, like I was saying earlier, you unpack it,

478
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 4: and man, there's a piece that comes with unpacking those

479
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 4: emotions that hey, it's okay to feel that way, but

480
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 4: when you really do acknowledge what's going on, is that

481
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 4: really real? Or are those your insecurities on things that

482
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 4: do you really care about what people that don't know

483
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,640
Speaker 4: you or what or have any opinion about what they

484
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 4: think outside in other than the people that are in

485
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 4: a position to care about you unconditioning to know what

486
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 4: really matters, And that's how you pour into people, that's

487
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,159
Speaker 4: how you try to help them work through different things.

488
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 5: And with that, I think just came a piece.

489
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:54,159
Speaker 4: And it doesn't mean that it's forever that piece, but

490
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 4: it's using those things to draw back on and to say, man,

491
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,880
Speaker 4: those are the times where you showed you can come

492
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 4: out of it, and it's just don't lose the hope

493
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 4: that hey, this is not finality, this is temporary.

494
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 5: If we use the things that.

495
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,120
Speaker 4: We know, we're capable of the people that we're around

496
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 4: and really unpacking these emotions to help us get to

497
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 4: a place set I think everybody deserves to be in

498
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 4: And I think a lot of this mental health stuff

499
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 4: and you correct me if I'm wrong, not all of it,

500
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 4: and you're much better equipped to articulate it. Jay comes

501
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 4: from this outside in narrative that is pushed that people

502
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 4: think they have to be something that just isn't true

503
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 4: or real.

504
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,239
Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's what social media does and that's where like

505
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,439
Speaker 2: for me talking about mental health, I'm clinical. This is

506
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 2: the only memory I have from a little kid on.

507
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 2: So I got taken to a therapist when I was

508
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 2: four by my parents. Like so even back then they're like, hey.

509
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 3: You're screwed up. So mine's clinical. But for the rest

510
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 3: of the world, Yeah.

511
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 4: Let me ask you this because this is going on,

512
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 4: because I'm not interrupting, I want to hear it again,

513
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 4: your perspective on this, So, how would you articulate to

514
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,159
Speaker 4: the audience knowing that, hey, you know, I've shared some

515
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 4: of the struggles being in a leadership role where you

516
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 4: worry about things that really don't matter, and that creates

517
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 4: these negative emotions. And then you talk about the clinical approaches,

518
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 4: how do people even though they're negative emotions? You know,

519
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 4: how would you describe the difference in knowing are once clinical?

520
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 4: One is just you know, some of the insecurities, like

521
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 4: how do people cope with that? Because there's still a

522
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: similar bad feeling. But what's the difference in your mind

523
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 4: between those two?

524
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 2: So you know, one is again I think you know

525
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 2: there's different also between problems and mental health issues depression anxiety. Right,

526
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 2: So a lot of times people have problems like, oh,

527
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 2: I'm so depressed, Well you're depressed because you have these problems,

528
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 2: or you may not suffer from depression. I suffer from

529
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: depression anxiety. When things are great, I still may feel

530
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 2: like this morning was hard for me to get out

531
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 2: of bed. Every morning, it's hard for me to get

532
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 2: out of bed. It's never not, but I make that decision.

533
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 2: And once I make that decision to get out of bed,

534
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be relentless. I'm gonna be really listen life.

535
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 2: That's it because I'm not gonna let this fucking gray

536
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 2: beat me.

537
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 3: That's that.

538
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 2: But the other part is what you're saying, And I

539
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 2: think we all are feeling the depression of anxiety because

540
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 2: those outside influences that.

541
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 3: You're talking about.

542
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 2: Social media makes all of us think our lives suck, right,

543
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,639
Speaker 2: we and thank god you're not on it, right, And

544
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 2: I've talked to you about it, like, just make sure

545
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 2: you don't do it, because all of a sudden, I've.

546
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 5: Seen enough stuff written about me that hurts my feelings.

547
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 2: Right, and by the way you said it right there,

548
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 2: it does hurt your feelings, right. People think you're absolutely

549
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 2: people think, ah, hey he's rich and famous. It comes

550
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: with the territory.

551
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 3: Fuck that. People.

552
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 2: We have feelings and because we're more emotional, that helped

553
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 2: us get to where we are, right. So I think

554
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 2: people at home also, like you know, social media, Like

555
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 2: we look at Instagram and we're comparing ourselves to everybody

556
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 2: else's filtered fraction of a second. It's not even the

557
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,959
Speaker 2: full second of one day, and we're going, man, how

558
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 2: come I'm not at that party? Why am I so

559
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 2: left out? How come my food doesn't look like that?

560
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 2: And we think our lives suck. And we're talking the

561
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 2: most successful people in the world. They look at that

562
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 2: and it fucked for their brains. I think my life sucks.

563
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 2: Or like man, when we're growing up, when we got

564
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 2: bullied on the playground, it fucking sucked for a month.

565
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 2: I grew up with the jersey short, so it fuck sucked.

566
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 2: It sucked for a while. Okay, And now that's that's

567
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 2: why it's such a bully, which was what Sean calls me,

568
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 2: by the way, uh and uh and one of my

569
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:35,919
Speaker 2: exes and uh and uh wait wait wait.

570
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 3: Real quick here, but Twitter, we see it at that.

571
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: We get bullied a thousand times a second, right, it

572
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 2: never ends, and it's just this baraze of negativity. But

573
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 2: you just said it, and I want people to really

574
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 2: hear because you kind of almost threw it away. When

575
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 2: you hear bad stuff about you, Okay, and you're not

576
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 2: on Twitter, but if you see a bad tweet, we

577
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 2: see bad tweets about us.

578
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 3: It fucking hurts. It sucks when you hear bad stuff

579
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,199
Speaker 3: about you, It hurts you.

580
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, no matter how resilient and stuff like that,

581
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,919
Speaker 4: it does affect you in some form or fashion. And

582
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,439
Speaker 4: that's why you want to be, you know, cognizant of

583
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,439
Speaker 4: how do you put good stuff in your being? But

584
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 4: going back, here's here's my question for you, because that

585
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 4: is a very real thing, and it leads.

586
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 5: Me into my question.

587
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 4: You said something though about you wake up this morning

588
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 4: you felt the great But you knew when I got

589
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 4: out of bed, I'm going to be relentless and the

590
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 4: way that I approach my day. I think there's a

591
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 4: lot to be said for that. You know what, I

592
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 4: don't want to be. You know, I don't want to

593
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 4: speak out of place in terms of okay, what did

594
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 4: doctor say?

595
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 5: But but I'm a big believer in this.

596
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 4: You know, I think the power of your mind and

597
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 4: the power of the external people that you surround yourself

598
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 4: with has a huge influence on how the quality of

599
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 4: your life is felt if you really are living in

600
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 4: the right ways.

601
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 5: What I mean by that is this, like, I think.

602
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 4: That almost the majority of the events that occur in

603
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 4: our life right are out of our control. However, what

604
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 4: isn't our control is our response to those events and

605
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 4: how that dictates and determines what the outcome is. Based

606
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 4: on your response, you said you woke up with the gray,

607
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 4: I chose to be relentless. You seem like you're doing

608
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 4: a heck of a job in your first podcast right here,

609
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 4: seem like you know, you got that zest for life

610
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 4: with the guy that I know most of the you know,

611
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 4: when I'm around you, How do you challenge people that

612
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 4: are going through those same things to make.

613
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 5: That choice sure and to really be able to be

614
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:32,360
Speaker 5: that way?

615
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 4: Because I know, for me, I've never regretted when I've

616
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 4: made those choices.

617
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 5: But is there a difference in your mind and the

618
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 5: people that say usually this is a.

619
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 4: Result of you know, actions or sometimes I just wake

620
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 4: up feeling that way. And what's the difference in allowing

621
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 4: this to be a strengthening mechanism and then also the

622
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 4: people you're around.

623
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 2: So I'll use sports analogy for this, right And I

624
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 2: just talked about this to the to the Seahawks and

625
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 2: the Vikings in the USFL.

626
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 5: Thanks for talking to the rams there you go.

627
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 2: Hey, thanks for asking. So still waiting for the invite.

628
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 2: Mental health is too reactive right now? You don't just

629
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 2: like you don't have Cooper Cup only catch passes if

630
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: he has the drops, which by the way, it never does.

631
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 2: But let's just say he didn't. He doesn't only catch

632
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 2: passes if he has the drops right. You, Stafford doesn't

633
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 2: only throw passes when his accuracy is off.

634
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 3: You constantly do it.

635
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 2: But usually we only help our mental health when the

636
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 2: sky's falling. Therapists usually get us when it's too late,

637
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 2: right when the sky's already falling.

638
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 3: So we need to start doing it now.

639
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 2: So now you know, find things that will help you

640
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 2: on a daily basis. So I wake up now and

641
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 2: I learned and this. I'm gonna explain this in great

642
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 2: depth over the course of these podcasts because each week

643
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a guest on, but I'm also gonna

644
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 2: have other podcasts where it's just me kind of explaining

645
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 2: and how I feel that day, but also some things

646
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 2: that get me through it. But now, before I do

647
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 2: any before I ever look at my phone in the morning,

648
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 2: I make that decision. I get up and I do

649
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes of breath work that I learned over in Thailand.

650
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,479
Speaker 2: I do ten minutes of meditation that I learned how

651
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 2: to do over there. I wrote this gratitude list, so

652
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 2: I look at things that I'm grateful for before I

653
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 2: ever look at my phone that day, Right, so that's

654
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 2: a half hour.

655
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 3: That's a win.

656
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: That's a better way than it was for me, you know,

657
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 2: a month ago before I learned these things. But my

658
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 2: point is is, I'm constantly working out, same way I

659
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 2: constantly work in the gym. I'm constantly working on my

660
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 2: mental health. How can I improve it? Because I know

661
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 2: it's gonna be an uphill battle. And people think, and

662
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 2: by the way, again, people think, well the fuck you've.

663
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 3: You've made it. When I made it, it was not

664
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 3: rainbows and unicorns. I thought it was.

665
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: I thought it was gonna be like man, because I

666
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 2: don't know how to get love from the inside out.

667
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 2: It's motivated me to do all these great things from

668
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 2: the outside in, and you know, to get all this

669
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 2: outside love. And I thought once I made it, man,

670
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 2: my problems would end. It just doesn't happen that way.

671
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: It's not like them. In fact, a lot of times,

672
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 2: the more successful you are, that brings the whole other

673
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 2: set of problems along with it, and then you're horrified

674
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 2: to lose it. When you've had nothing, you're horrified to

675
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: lose it and go back to having nothing. So I

676
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 2: have to now work at it. I work my ass

677
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 2: off on staying out of the gray and in the blue.

678
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 2: And I now call people when I'm really struggling. And

679
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 2: what I'll do too is I'll call four people when

680
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 2: I'm really having those days and I'll say, man, I

681
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 2: am fucking struggling today, just to talk. And then and

682
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 2: I talked about having a team, and that's a team, Sean.

683
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 2: What also do is being of service helps me. I'll

684
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 2: then call four other people just to check up on

685
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 2: them and not telling them I'm struggling. And those are

686
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 2: the things that helps me get out of it, get

687
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 2: out of the gray. But again you're talking about how

688
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 2: do I prevent it? So I have all these things

689
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 2: that I do now in the morning, and I'm a

690
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 2: work in progress, like I'm fucked up and I'm learning

691
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: to be good with my fucked upness, right, And that's

692
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 2: where we're going to take this journey together, everybody on

693
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 2: this podcast together, We're going to walk this walk together.

694
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 3: But you know, I'm now learning something to do at night.

695
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 3: Also that's helping me as well.

696
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 2: And I have three different therapists that I use, so

697
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 2: it's a constant thing. And I want people to understand

698
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 2: that you got to put in just as much work

699
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 2: with this as you would at your job, as you

700
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,960
Speaker 2: would working out, as you would have whatever craft or

701
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 2: whatever hobby you like, because if you could shine between

702
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 2: the ears and behind your ribcage, it's gonna lift you

703
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: up and everything else you do.

704
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's such a good point, because you know, when

705
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 4: you talk about the quality of your mental health, you know,

706
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 4: regardless of whether or not people think they're going through it,

707
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 4: I think it's such a great point. Like you want

708
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 4: to stay in shape, or you want to be great

709
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 4: at anything, Repetition is the mother of learning. You got

710
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 4: to train it, you got to work at it. If

711
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 4: you want it to be healthy. You know, you got

712
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 4: to eat the right ways. And I think you know

713
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 4: some of the best times when I feel like you're

714
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 4: sustained with that armor. There's really two things that are

715
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 4: in alignment for me when you stay in a good place.

716
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 4: I'm always a hardwired, charging, very competitive guy that has

717
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 4: a lot of urgency and no patience.

718
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 5: I understand that I know who you know.

719
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 4: I'm realizing those things and that lack of impatience can

720
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 4: be a detriment, but it can be a strength. But

721
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 4: I know this to your point, Jay, there's really two

722
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 4: things that are consistent when I stay in a great

723
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 4: place and you end up saying, this is the kind

724
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 4: of life, and this is the kind of person I

725
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 4: want to be to the people that I care about

726
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 4: and I love unconditionally. It's number one when you're working

727
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 4: on those things, whether it's the meditations, the reading, the

728
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 4: center in yourself esteem is the way that I center

729
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 4: myself to begin the days, you know, where you kind

730
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 4: of do some breathing and you can't be reached by

731
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 4: anybody else. It's being able to get a workout where

732
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 4: good positive endorphins or release, and it's reading things that

733
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 4: educates you on all right. These are the things that

734
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 4: equip you with the strength to overcome those adversity. And

735
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 4: then number two, which is as important as anything, is

736
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 4: surrounding yourself with people that add to the quality of

737
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 4: your life. Like I believe so wholeheartedly that you become

738
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 4: the company you keep, and when you surround yourself with

739
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 4: people that are positive influences, that are that half glass full,

740
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 4: but that are also willing to acknowledge there's some struggles,

741
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 4: but they don't let that drag on because of that

742
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 4: resilient mindset of mentality.

743
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 5: They want to have.

744
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 4: That to me is when it leads to the best

745
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 4: quality of life and you're fulfilled because you're pouring into people.

746
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 5: You're doing it with people that you love.

747
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 4: And like I would challenge people that are listening to this,

748
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 4: you know, like really ask yourself, are you surrounding yourself

749
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 4: with the kind of people that are positive influences. Like

750
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 4: I know, there's been a lot of times in my

751
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 4: life where I've known people for a long time and

752
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 4: it took me a while to where you're saying, well,

753
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 4: I've known them for so long, but they're kind of

754
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 4: always a dread, they're always complaining about something, Like you know,

755
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 4: you don't really need people like that in your life.

756
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 4: You want to that you want of people that have

757
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 4: assessed for life that you're you're positively pouring into them

758
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 4: as they are and you and like I challenge people

759
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 4: to make sure that they're that person they want to

760
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 4: be to the people they're around. And when those two

761
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 4: things are aligned, Man, it's it's hard to break that

762
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 4: strengthening mechanism of born on your you know, of really

763
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 4: being able to kind of build into your own self

764
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 4: but then build into others and then have them build

765
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,399
Speaker 4: back into you, and that's when I know I've seen

766
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 4: you at your best. That's when I'm always at my best.

767
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 4: And the times that I forget it are when I

768
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:22,839
Speaker 4: let outside and influences affect my own ego or when

769
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 4: I draw further away from the people that I love

770
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 4: and care about the most to be able to work

771
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 4: through those things. And that's really like become evidently clear

772
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 4: from our relationship and over the last couple of years.

773
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 2: And I want people to understand also, and Sean just

774
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 2: gave us his I guess you're the way you handle these, right,

775
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 2: So you wake up in the morning, you get your

776
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 2: steam and you do breath work. You read a lot,

777
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 2: which is great, right, I know you're do an awful

778
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 2: lot of that. You have your gym time, which is

779
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 2: your other's end time. What you do like four times

780
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 2: a day, right, you're doing a little ten to workout

781
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 2: four times a.

782
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,400
Speaker 4: Day depends on you know, like it depends you know,

783
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 4: because further when you're when you have like a day

784
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 4: without the players, you know, usually I can work from

785
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 4: home or at the office and you go for about

786
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 4: a two hours of hard focused concentration. Then I need

787
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 4: a thirty minute break just for you know, myself to

788
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 4: settle down and so whatever that looks like, but.

789
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:14,320
Speaker 5: It just kind of depends.

790
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 4: But those are the things that have helped kind of

791
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 4: find a rhythm and routine that's in alignment with sustaining

792
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 4: you know, that overall well being that you want.

793
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 2: And then and then obviously leaning into your team, which

794
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: is what we just talked about again, and being your

795
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 2: family and your crew.

796
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 3: So and I want people to understand this, right I

797
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 3: have my you know, this is my routine, that's Shawn's routine.

798
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 2: When the gray is taken over, it's really easy to

799
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 2: not do that routine anymore. So I want people to

800
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 2: know that's when you have to step it up and

801
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 2: make sure no matter what you do the routine. As

802
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 2: much as you don't feel like working out, you got

803
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 2: to drag your ass and that Jim, as much as

804
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 2: you don't feel like talking about gratitude, you got to

805
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 2: force yourself to do it because it's those down times

806
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 2: they're going to help you really realish in your life

807
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 2: and to get a lot of that great anticipate. When

808
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: you went through November last year, were you still doing

809
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 2: this routine or did you let it fall off?

810
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 4: No, there was times when I wasn't but then when

811
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 4: I got back to it, you know, I can't remember

812
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 4: exactly how it went. Jay, I know it wasn't a

813
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 4: good feeling, but it's when it's going tough. But I

814
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 4: also think to your point too, when things are good,

815
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 4: don't lose sight of building that foundation and that armor.

816
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 2: And so that's why you should go to a therapist.

817
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 2: Even when even when times are good, talk to a therapist.

818
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:36,959
Speaker 2: That's when you could build new.

819
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 4: Tools correct and like to me, why I think this

820
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 4: is for everybody is that you know, there's different levels

821
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 4: of you know, emotions that people feel.

822
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 5: But I don't know anybody I've ever met in my

823
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 5: life that doesn't want a high quality of well being

824
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 5: for their mental health. And if you say, all right,

825
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 5: these are the things that are in alignment.

826
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 4: With consistently obtaining and achieving that or helping you overcome

827
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 4: some of the tough moments you're in to get to

828
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 4: those places, I don't know that I've met anybody that

829
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 4: would say, you know, I don't want really that you

830
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 4: know those people I question you know you're saying it,

831
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 4: but I just think that there's a lot of different things.

832
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 5: But to me. It's consistency in a rhythm and routine.

833
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 4: It's acknowledging all the insecurities that, in different forms or fashions,

834
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,879
Speaker 4: we all have. And then who are the people that

835
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 4: you can lean on, who are the people that you

836
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 4: can pour back into where the real fulfillment and purpose

837
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 4: comes from. And then what are the things that create

838
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 4: that stillness for you? You know, Jay and I have

839
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 4: different things, even though they might be similar types of activities,

840
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 4: but you know, it's really you know, I think a

841
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 4: lot of it too, is really being able to have

842
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 4: a self awareness with people that are around you that

843
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 4: can be unconditional, and being able to tell you what

844
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 4: you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

845
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 4: You know, That's what I'm so grateful for. And then

846
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 4: also being able to really dive deep and own some

847
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 4: of these things that you're feeling, so then you can

848
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 4: figure out what are the best ways that I can

849
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 4: equip myself with the strength to be able to live

850
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 4: the quality of life that I think everybody deserves to live.

851
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 3: Hey, look, and it's a different world nowadays.

852
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 2: Look, your grandfather did this business for a long time,

853
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 2: and I think she'd be in the Hall of fame

854
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 2: quite honestly. But here you are in your fifth year. Absolutely,

855
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,800
Speaker 2: uh fifth year. Last year's your fifth year, right is

856
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 2: that fifth year? Okay, so your fifth year, that's my point, right,

857
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 2: So last year, I would there are times last year

858
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 2: I'm like, I think he's gonna quit in the middle

859
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 2: of the.

860
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 3: Year, which I know you're not a quitter, so you weren't.

861
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 2: And then after the year, obviously there's a lot of

862
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 2: talk of you go and stepping away to Amazon. That's

863
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 2: something that your grandfather and people would like. Man, they

864
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 2: were able to do this for years and years and years.

865
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 2: But in just five years, this job got to you

866
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 2: that much where you thought about it.

867
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 3: That's that's a mental health thing.

868
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think I think what it is is,

869
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 4: I think a lot of it is is, you know,

870
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 4: it's me the way that I'm wired to kind.

871
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 5: Of drive and push.

872
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 4: I think you know this, you know, I always am

873
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,760
Speaker 4: going to be a guy that just snows one speed

874
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 4: and that full speed as it relates to competing and.

875
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 5: Doing those types of things. But finding that balance that's

876
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 5: exhausted enough. It's exhausted, you know.

877
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 4: But but you know what though, like it's it's how

878
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 4: do you acknowledge the fact that this is probably who

879
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 4: you are? But how do you really counter those things

880
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 4: to be able to have a better understanding of all right, well,

881
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 4: why do you feel these ways? And I think the

882
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,359
Speaker 4: best thing that came out of last year or even

883
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 4: some of the tough moments that we've gone through. And

884
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 4: you know this too, Jay, Like it's easy for people

885
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 4: to kind of roll their eyes after you say this,

886
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 4: after the way the season ended, but I truly do

887
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 4: believe this, Like you know me well enough to know

888
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 4: like you know, and it sounds silly when you say

889
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,360
Speaker 4: it out loud, you go from seven to one to

890
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 4: seven and four, but you know it's in the midst

891
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 4: of adding Vaughn and Odell, the you know, the outside

892
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 4: in narrative and everybody's kind of writing you off, and

893
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 4: then you really say, like, Okay, how do I what

894
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 4: really did I love about coaching? And what do I

895
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 4: love about football? You know, like in its truest form

896
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 4: when you get back to whether you're playing or even

897
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:00,879
Speaker 4: when you start coaching and be where you let all

898
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 4: the outside end stuff blur and create those great things

899
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 4: and it's about people and it's porn into people and

900
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,399
Speaker 4: it's finding a team and it's doing something about Hey,

901
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 4: I want to see these guys succeed more than my

902
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 4: own selfish ambitions. And I don't think it's by coincidence

903
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 4: that good things happen. We were able to overcome some

904
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 4: moments and the players and the ones that made the place,

905
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 4: make no mistake about it, all right, But I can

906
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,280
Speaker 4: look back and say, you know what, I was proud

907
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,760
Speaker 4: of being a good advocate and you know, being able

908
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 4: to lean on people, acknowledge some of the insecurities, but

909
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,839
Speaker 4: then be strong and resilient in some of those tough

910
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 4: moments that helped us overcome and that that, to me

911
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 4: is one of my favorite parts.

912
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 5: Now. I think the big thing that we've continued to say.

913
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 4: On this is this is not a there's not like

914
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 4: an ending point to this journey. This is a constant

915
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 4: way of seeking to live a high quality, a high

916
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 4: state of life, as our guy John Gordon would say,

917
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 4: And you know, and those things are about people and

918
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 4: equipping yourself with the knowledge on how you best can

919
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 4: handle those things. And you know, when you feel those

920
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 4: types of things coming, what's the best way that we

921
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 4: can minimize that as quickly as possible.

922
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,760
Speaker 2: I want to get back to you being the leader

923
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 2: right when you first got this job. And as you know,

924
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 2: I always tell you know, the guys who are first

925
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 2: time coaches like, be prepared because the stuff that's about

926
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 2: to come across your desk you can never imagine. So

927
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 2: when you're in this role now and you gets brought

928
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 2: to your attention, Hey, this player is suicidal, this person's

929
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 2: wife is suicidal, this is this person's gone down a

930
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 2: rabbit hole. This guy is getting suspended for this, this

931
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 2: guy is man, he's getting built down of money here,

932
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,719
Speaker 2: this guy's father has this or whatever it is. All

933
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,279
Speaker 2: the problems that suddenly come to you. A. Were you

934
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: prepared for it? B? How do you suddenly handle that?

935
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 2: That's that's a lot it is.

936
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 5: I think number one.

937
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 4: You know, when I was first hired Jay, and I

938
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 4: look back on it, there was a genuine ignorance is

939
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 4: bliss in terms of the things that I get upset

940
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,479
Speaker 4: or pissed off about now. I wouldn't have even known

941
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 4: when I was thirty years old that that freaking matters,

942
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 4: you know, And I have to constantly remind myself of all, right,

943
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 4: how do you prioritize an attack?

944
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 5: And it's all about our people, you know.

945
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 4: But I think it's I think, you know, the couple

946
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 4: things that have really helped me is as you accumulate experience,

947
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,799
Speaker 4: people are more comfortable, they get to know you a

948
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 4: little bit better. Where hey, that vulnerability comes first and

949
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,759
Speaker 4: the trust, but I think time, you know, really both

950
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 4: of those things come with time and being able to

951
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,840
Speaker 4: I know this when I've had players that I've talked to,

952
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 4: being able to say like, hey, it's okay not to

953
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 4: be perfect.

954
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,439
Speaker 5: I've had my own things that I have to work through.

955
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 4: What that does in terms of lightening the load for

956
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 4: them to open up, Like, I think there's this just

957
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 4: narrative that everybody feels like they have to be perfect

958
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 4: and if they're not, they're weak, and that that is

959
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 4: just so false. And so I think it's the acknowledgment

960
00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 4: of that, the understanding of what comes with this, and

961
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,359
Speaker 4: then the main thing, Like I've talked with NBA guys,

962
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 4: you know, Doc Rivers and I have gotten really close,

963
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 4: and I think the big thing that's different. You know,

964
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 4: we talked about it earlier in the car you got

965
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 4: fifty three players, I really look at it. We got

966
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 4: sixty nine when you add our sixteen practice squad players,

967
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 4: you know, and then you've got twenty plus coaches. You

968
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 4: have to be able to lean on all of those

969
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 4: people to be able to cultivate the environment in the

970
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 4: atmosphere by the way that you treat them, the way

971
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 4: that you let them know how important their role is

972
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 4: and how it contributes to the greater good. But you

973
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,759
Speaker 4: can't do it all. And that's the biggest thing is

974
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,880
Speaker 4: having great coaches or having great leadership from our locker

975
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 4: room has been instrumental and handling it the right way.

976
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 4: And as soon as you lose sight of it, it's

977
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 4: all about the people that you're around.

978
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 5: That's when it just, you know, goes sideways.

979
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 4: And that's the one thing that you can never prepare

980
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 4: for all the things that come across your desk. But man,

981
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 4: it's a lot easier to be able to handle it

982
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 4: when you got people you can lean on.

983
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 5: And even if you are innately thrust into a.

984
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 4: Leadership role, sometimes the best thing you can say is,

985
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 4: you know what, I don't know? Answer, I don't have that,

986
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 4: but let me listen, learn and then I can lead

987
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 4: the right way.

988
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 3: You know.

989
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 2: We talked earlier in this podcast about some of our pillars, right,

990
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 2: and what we do and some of the routines that

991
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,880
Speaker 2: we have, And one of them, I said was was

992
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 2: being of service. Another one is you know, is having

993
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 2: that team, and the third one is laughter. And I'm

994
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 2: gonna leave you with this gang. So Sean threw his

995
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 2: whole team off of the practice field and training campus

996
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: here and I was driving with him after and all

997
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 2: I did is start laughing at you in the car, right,

998
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 2: Like I just got in the car and You're like,

999
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 2: the fuck is this guy laughing at And now you

1000
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 2: know why I was laughing.

1001
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,359
Speaker 5: Hey, if he can't cry, you gotta laugh, right.

1002
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 4: I mean, we had about twenty false starts in fifteen plays.

1003
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 5: I don't know how it's possible. What it was, it was,

1004
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 5: it's not a good movie. I was very upset.

1005
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 3: He was quite upsent.

1006
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 2: Hey, look, and I wanted to make sure we kind

1007
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 2: of hit a little laugh here because we talked about

1008
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 2: some heavy stuff and I appreciate that.

1009
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 3: Man. That's you know, we pull our skin back.

1010
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 2: And we're vulnerable and we're raw, and it helps out

1011
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 2: so many people by doing the to roll walk of

1012
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,919
Speaker 2: this walk together. Before I let you go, one last

1013
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: thing I'm going to ask all my guests this, give

1014
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 2: me your unbreakable moment, your moment of something you overcame.

1015
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 2: It could be any pump point in your life, something

1016
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 2: that you had to overcome, something that man, you worked

1017
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 2: so hard, you finally got it. Something that man, you

1018
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 2: came through the other side of this tunnel.

1019
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 3: It didn't break you. You came through the other side.

1020
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 3: What would that be?

1021
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 4: I think to me, you know, there's so many things

1022
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 4: that I could reference and that come to mind, you know,

1023
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 4: But I think the unbreakable moment for me has been,

1024
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 4: you know, an ever evolving thing of you know, really

1025
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 4: working on acknowledging the things that when I unpack are

1026
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,320
Speaker 4: really my own insecurities or my ego getting in the way.

1027
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 4: And a small demonstration of that is leaning on people

1028
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 4: like yourself, our players are coaches through that month of November.

1029
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 4: But I just think, you know, the unbreakable moment is

1030
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 4: really living an unbreakable life in regards to doing the

1031
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 4: things that you talked about, consistently poor into people, surrounding

1032
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 4: yourself with positive influences, living the life that you want

1033
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 4: to live, and then being able to sustain yourself with

1034
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 4: the armor to overcome when you feel these feelings, or

1035
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 4: when the outside pressure starts to get to you and

1036
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 4: you're feeling bad in your gut and you say, no, no, no,

1037
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 4: how do I unpack this? I think it's a continuation

1038
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 4: for me, Jay, but I think it starts with being

1039
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 4: around people that allow you to be comfortable enough to

1040
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 4: acknowledge these feelings that you have, and then equipping yourself

1041
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 4: with the people and the knowledge on Hey, this shit

1042
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 4: is only temporary. The tough times don't last, the tough

1043
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:39,360
Speaker 4: people do. And being able to be a tough person

1044
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 4: means acknowledging your and being vulnerable, but also leaning on

1045
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 4: other people born into them, and that leads to living

1046
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 4: an unbreakable life, which I think we're all really trying

1047
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 4: to achieve.

1048
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 2: Dude, I appreciate you coming on first, guest. They're kicking

1049
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 2: us off, man, I really appreciate you.

1050
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 4: We'll set the bar low. It's like my dad always said,

1051
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 4: you know, under promise over the liver.

1052
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:06,360
Speaker 2: Hey, you can only go off from here. I appreciate

1053
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 2: you joining me again. Sean McVay, head coach of the Rams,

1054
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 2: the night before their season opener against the Buffalo bilsing

1055
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 2: for everybody else out there.

1056
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:15,399
Speaker 3: We appreciate you joining us here