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Speaker 1: Hey everyone, and welcome back to unfiltered, the JB L podcast,

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Speaker 1: and I heart radio production in partnership with JB L.

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Speaker 1: I am your host, Betty who. It's me now. This

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Speaker 1: podcast is a place to minimize the noise and tune

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Speaker 1: into authentic and unfiltered conversations about identity, art, self expression

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Speaker 1: and so much more, and today's episode I couldn't be

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Speaker 1: more excited about. We have an incredible guest who I

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Speaker 1: think completely encompasses the idea of living authentically and being

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Speaker 1: true to yourself. I am so excited to get to

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Speaker 1: talk to this incredible artist. Yes, I am going to

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Speaker 1: be joined by an insanely successful rising star in the

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Speaker 1: art world, Victor Lanois. Using his bold and vibrant work,

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Speaker 1: he has shared his vision and experiences with the world

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Speaker 1: across numerous mediums, from vibrant paintings and sculptures to killer

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Speaker 1: collapse and N F T S. Victor's work has broken

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Speaker 1: records with Christie Auction House and he has gained global

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Speaker 1: attention as one of the most popular and ft artists

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Speaker 1: of his generation. I am so excited to talk to him.

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Speaker 1: I have so many questions. Let's get to know him

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Speaker 1: a little better and hear about his incredible journey. Well, Victor,

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Speaker 1: a k a focious, I'm so happy that you're here

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Speaker 1: with us today. You have all of these crazy stats

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Speaker 1: under your belt at this point. Like tell us about

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Speaker 1: where it all started. Um, I feel like a lot

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Speaker 1: of little kids just start drawing because it's just a

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Speaker 1: little kid thing. You get a color and book and crayons,

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Speaker 1: but I I loved it. You were just really good.

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Speaker 1: I don't know like other kids, and they knew how

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Speaker 1: to stay in the lines or they're like, obviously a

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Speaker 1: fire truck is red, but mine would be like blue,

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Speaker 1: or I would just pick the wrong colors, whatever that means.

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Speaker 1: And as I got older, all the other kids gravitated

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Speaker 1: towards running around the playground and pretending to be fairies

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Speaker 1: and stuff, but I still wanted a key drawing in

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Speaker 1: the little coloring books. And then also the coloring books

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Speaker 1: have worlds, like you get like a spoder man coloring

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Speaker 1: book or whatever theme Coloring Book, and I love being

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Speaker 1: immersed in that world. And I think I've never actually

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Speaker 1: thought about being four and coloring, but now I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it kind of where it began. Yeah, like you're in

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Speaker 1: this world of different creative universes, whether it be superheroes

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Speaker 1: or princesses whatever, and I think that's where that started.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing. You work with a bunch of different mediums, right.

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Speaker 1: What mediums do you love to work with? Where did

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Speaker 1: you stop and, like, how did you end up where

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Speaker 1: you are now? So I started first coloring books, then drawing,

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Speaker 1: then painting a little bit, but then my parents will

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Speaker 1: be like you can't paint in the house. I was

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Speaker 1: like okay. So then I went back to drawing and

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Speaker 1: I was like Hey, Grandpa, can you get me more

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Speaker 1: color pencils? And he's like no, they're expensive. I can't

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Speaker 1: just keep buying you art supplies, and I was like

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Speaker 1: that makes sense. Well, now what I do? And I

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Speaker 1: found the world of digital art sick. And now there's

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Speaker 1: ipads where you can just download an APP for like

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Speaker 1: eight dollars and the apple pencils great, but when I

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Speaker 1: got into digital art, there wasn't the cool ipads where

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Speaker 1: it's really nice. When I started, you get it's like

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Speaker 1: a black plastic thing that you hook up to a

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Speaker 1: computer and the black plastic thing doesn't have a screen,

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Speaker 1: so you're drawing on the black plastic thing. But looking

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Speaker 1: at a screen in front of you and it's very

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Speaker 1: does not hit your brain right. You're like, I'm drawing

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Speaker 1: on this thing, but I can't see it. It's really weird.

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Speaker 1: But uh, I started doing that and that opened my

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Speaker 1: eyes to Oh, infinite colors, that I don't have to

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Speaker 1: pay for that, I can make the canvas as big

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Speaker 1: as I want. I don't have to pay. Canvas is

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Speaker 1: really expensive. I don't have to pay for that. I

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Speaker 1: could just make my own worlds. And then, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'll watch youtube videos and it's like, oh, video is art,

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Speaker 1: and then music is art. So then it's like everything.

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Speaker 1: I like all the media's. That's amazing. You have a

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Speaker 1: really crazy story that I want to kind of maybe

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Speaker 1: here in your own words. Tell me about the Christie's auction. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so I feel like a lot of people don't even

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Speaker 1: know what Christie's is like. Honestly, I didn't know what

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Speaker 1: Christie's was. It's like, I mean it's a massive auction house, right,

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Speaker 1: so it's like incredible art goes through this place and

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Speaker 1: they yeah, it's like the kind of thing where, like

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Speaker 1: if there's a Picasso or like a big sale, it's

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Speaker 1: probably a Christie's or as southby's. So Christie's is a

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Speaker 1: big deal for an artist if they get in. And

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Speaker 1: before I got into Christie's digital art piece that was

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Speaker 1: by an artist named people sold a digital art piece

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Speaker 1: for sixty nine million dollars and that was the first

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Speaker 1: time really in the news and everything, that a lot

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Speaker 1: of people were talking about just digital art and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, Christie's messages with that, like they like

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Speaker 1: or I thought they would laugh in my face or something.

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Speaker 1: So I was talking to my manager and he was like,

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Speaker 1: by the way, like that six nine million was crazy.

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Speaker 1: Have you talked to Christie's before? And I was like no,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know you could just talk to Christie's, like

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Speaker 1: the biggest auction house in the world. I didn't know

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Speaker 1: they're accessible like that. He's like yeah, they're emails on

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Speaker 1: their website. I'm just gonna email them right now. So sick.

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Speaker 1: It's so indicative, though, of your of your talent. Right

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Speaker 1: it's like the email is literally on the website. Anybody

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Speaker 1: can email Christie's and be like hey, I have add

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Speaker 1: like literally have public information. It's available and the fact

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Speaker 1: that they replied and we're like, sick, yes, please, is

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Speaker 1: so crazy and so cool, and how you were really young. Right.

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Speaker 1: How old are you? Seventeen. I was eighteen. And how

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Speaker 1: old are you now? You're nineteen. Now I'm nineteen. Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, this is just happened. Still, basically it's okay.

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Speaker 1: So Christie's emails you back. They're like yes, we're obsessed,

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Speaker 1: like what's the vibe? Yeah, they're like yeah, you're so cool.

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Speaker 1: Like people is an older artist and the whole thing

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Speaker 1: that he sold was years of his art in one

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Speaker 1: big piece compiled together, and they were like we think

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Speaker 1: it's really cool. We just did him. You're so young,

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Speaker 1: like it's this cool like next step of opposition, new

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Speaker 1: person coming up. Yeah, yeah, and so we get in

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Speaker 1: a meeting and there's a moment where my manager we're

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Speaker 1: talking about life. We just got connected, so my relationship

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Speaker 1: with him was new, and he was like, I was

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Speaker 1: looking at your instagram, just looking for inspiration, seeing all

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Speaker 1: the stuff you've done before, and I saw that your

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Speaker 1: earlier art you signed it Victoria and not Victor and

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Speaker 1: I've never talked about this with someone before. So there's

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Speaker 1: a moment where my heart drops and I'm like, Oh

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Speaker 1: my God, I literally forgot about that. Yeah, WHO's that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was so involved in like being eighteen, moved out

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Speaker 1: and just not telling anyone that I'm trans, that I

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Speaker 1: was like, Oh yeah, like I am trans, like I've

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Speaker 1: never talked about this, and he was like if you

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable, is that something you want to talk about?

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Speaker 1: He was like if you don't want to, we don't

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Speaker 1: have to talk about that to the public, like that

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Speaker 1: can be your own, you know, your own journey, and

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Speaker 1: I was like no, you're so right. Like I grew

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Speaker 1: up like not seeing that many trans men in the

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Speaker 1: world and the ones that I did see in like

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Speaker 1: ad campaigns or whatever, like just visible. It gave me

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Speaker 1: hope to be alive, honestly, and it was this moment

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Speaker 1: on the phone with him where my brain clicked and

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, this Christie sale is going to

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Speaker 1: be about I'M gonna officially come out. Literally, the auction

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Speaker 1: title for my piece was hello, my name is Victor,

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Speaker 1: I just got Christ bones all over my body. Oh

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Speaker 1: my God, I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud

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Speaker 1: of you. That's so cool. Thank you. And then they

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Speaker 1: put you in the auction and then you had this

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Speaker 1: like so it's like a record breaking auction. It's really crazy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so it was five lots, so five different paintings that

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Speaker 1: we put on there and then, you know, it's just

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Speaker 1: all online. So my heart's racing. The auction opens. Me

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Speaker 1: and my whole team are sitting at the laptop refreshing, like,

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Speaker 1: Oh my God, it's open. And then the site crashes

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Speaker 1: because you're so lit and everybody is so obsessed with

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Speaker 1: you and wants your art so bad. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: and we're like what, Christie's can crash. Everyone's freaking out.

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Speaker 1: They're like, whoa like y'all care about digital art like that?

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Speaker 1: My tour has blown up. It was crazy. And then

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Speaker 1: the traditional art world, people that don't even know that

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Speaker 1: you can have digital art in an auction house. We're

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Speaker 1: really confused. They're like what, you crashed the website. How

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Speaker 1: do you do that? Well, and so it's all of

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Speaker 1: the art that you made for the Christie's auction particularly.

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Speaker 1: Is All of that exclusively digital, or was it mixed media?

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Speaker 1: Is it's like, I know that's something that you have

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Speaker 1: done in the Pasta is working with physical art and

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Speaker 1: then n f t s and sort of trying to

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Speaker 1: combine stuff like what's your for the Christie's one? What

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Speaker 1: what medium was it? So the original pitch was just

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Speaker 1: all digital art, but I was like Nah, I want

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Speaker 1: there to be more. So the main point of the

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Speaker 1: sale was the digital art piece, but then I was like,

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Speaker 1: if you win the digital art piece, you also get

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Speaker 1: a painting that's inspired by that year of my life.

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Speaker 1: So basically how the sale worked is it was years

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Speaker 1: of my life fourteen to eighteen, and so year fourteen,

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Speaker 1: the digital piece was my reflection now at that time,

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Speaker 1: and then the physical piece I made it so that

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Speaker 1: it's just all my thoughts at that time. Like it's

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Speaker 1: like physical versus kind of emotional. Yeah, like the physical

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Speaker 1: one would say like I feel hopeless, and then the

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Speaker 1: digital one would say if only you knew how life

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Speaker 1: could change. I love that. So it's like me hugging

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Speaker 1: my past self in the digital version. It sounds obviously

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Speaker 1: like you've really found yourself professionally. You've definitely had this

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Speaker 1: moment of recognition and a taste of success in this

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Speaker 1: really in a large, like serious way. Do you feel

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Speaker 1: more confident because you've had this sort of like external validation,

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Speaker 1: or are you just like that thing happened. Wasn't that crazy?

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Speaker 1: I'm still just trying to figure it out. You know,

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Speaker 1: I think probably both, but I want to hear it

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Speaker 1: kind of how you feel. So the Christie's, all the

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Speaker 1: five pieces of Christie, still the total was like a

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Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars, like all of it added and you know,

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Speaker 1: I've never seen money like that. Blew my mind. That's incredible.

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Speaker 1: But Um, after that happened, it was my first time

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Speaker 1: in New York too, so I'm just like in this

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Speaker 1: new city and the biggest thing ever in my life

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Speaker 1: just happened and it showed my name to beyond my

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Speaker 1: Internet friends. It's like, oh, like random people know who

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Speaker 1: I am now and we'll like stop me on the

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Speaker 1: street and be like Hey, you're that guy that pained that,

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Speaker 1: and it's like Whoa. And I found myself getting really

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Speaker 1: sad because it's this thing I've always wanted, like a

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Speaker 1: city like New York and dollars like what? Like who

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Speaker 1: doesn't want that? Like on paper, like it's the big dream.

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Speaker 1: And then I found myself feeling so sad because I

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Speaker 1: didn't feel like instantly happy. I felt grateful, but like

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Speaker 1: I thought he would like fix all the problems or

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Speaker 1: all the trauma, everything that I went through in my life.

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Speaker 1: I thought it like I would all go away or

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Speaker 1: something if I reached this or I didn't even think

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Speaker 1: it was possible to reach something like that at eighteen.

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Speaker 1: I thought I'd be like forty or like maybe it

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Speaker 1: would happen after I die to reach that success, and

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Speaker 1: the fact that it happened like my first year as

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Speaker 1: an adult. It's crazy. Well, and I think also like

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Speaker 1: thank you for sharing that so candidly with me. I

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Speaker 1: really think that, like this is something that I still

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Speaker 1: really struggle with and I think is very much something

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Speaker 1: that artists go through all the time. It can be

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Speaker 1: really hord and it can be really strange to like

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Speaker 1: have this moment where you're like, I'm supposed to be

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Speaker 1: feeling like everything is perfect and I've made it in

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Speaker 1: this moment. Why don't I feel like that? And so

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Speaker 1: I think the thing I'm I'm trying to work on

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Speaker 1: at least, and I would love to know how you

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Speaker 1: feel about this. It's like it's about the experience of

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Speaker 1: it right, as opposed to like cool, now the artist

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Speaker 1: finished and now everybody else has to love it or

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Speaker 1: it doesn't mean something. It's like, no, the whole point

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Speaker 1: is to be sitting in your studio wherever you make out, like,

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Speaker 1: doing the art, and then you're like cool, that that

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Speaker 1: was the experience. Is the actual creation of it. People's

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Speaker 1: perception of it later. I can't control that pot you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel a lot better now. I feel I'm happy

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Speaker 1: to I've ever been now, like a year and a

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Speaker 1: half later. We'd love to hear it, we'd love to

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Speaker 1: see it. I realized that I don't think I was

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Speaker 1: actually living in my life, like all these big things

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Speaker 1: happening and people being like you're in history, blah, blah, blah.

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Speaker 1: It's like, well, if I'm here now, like, what's going

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Speaker 1: to happen when I like later, like stuffs being so

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Speaker 1: excited and and so it's like being anxious. But I

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Speaker 1: think I forgot that it was my life and that

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Speaker 1: it's so exciting and like yeah, so much time to explore.

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Speaker 1: It is your freaking life and you can do whatever

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Speaker 1: you want with it. It's so true. You get so

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Speaker 1: caught up and everybody else's perception of you you forget

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Speaker 1: that you have so much more control than you think

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Speaker 1: that you do to do exactly what you want be,

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Speaker 1: whoever you want to be, and I think something that

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Speaker 1: like is maybe a theme that I may be going

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Speaker 1: to talk about a lot on this podcast in general,

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Speaker 1: is just like giving yourself the time and space, especially

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Speaker 1: as an oddist, especially as a young person, to make

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Speaker 1: different decisions, like I want that, you know I want more,

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Speaker 1: but it's odd when you're like no, but that isn't

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Speaker 1: who I am and I've never been that way and

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Speaker 1: now I'm afraid it's like no, you get to do

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Speaker 1: whatever you want and make whatever decision is best for you,

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Speaker 1: and giving yourself the space and grace to experiment and

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Speaker 1: like try different things and see if you like it

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Speaker 1: and see how it feels and then let it go.

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Speaker 1: I think letting go it is probably the hard part.

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Speaker 1: I'm about at that part at least. I don't know

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Speaker 1: about you. Yeah, it's tough and I think looking at

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Speaker 1: all my favorite artists that went through all these different

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Speaker 1: eras and experiment and stuff, I would look at it

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Speaker 1: as like a science of like okay, ten years later

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Speaker 1: and they did this, and then like try to dissect

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Speaker 1: it and then I'm like no, they were just they

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Speaker 1: didn't want to do that last thing anymore. So they

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Speaker 1: followed their heart and it's like, Oh, you just gotta

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Speaker 1: the answers. Stopped looking at other people's sciences and like

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Speaker 1: just Yep, listen to you, like what do you want

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Speaker 1: to do right now? If you don't want to do that,

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Speaker 1: don't do it no more. which maybe is like a

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Speaker 1: good tie into all of this, for like the fact

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Speaker 1: that this whole podcast is about, you know, being authentic

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Speaker 1: and trying to find yourself. Like I want to know

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Speaker 1: sort of about you being so young still and having

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Speaker 1: such a good head on your shoulders and being in

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Speaker 1: a really good spot in your life, which I'm so

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Speaker 1: happy for you. Like what are the tools that you

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Speaker 1: have cultivated, especially over the last couple of years as

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Speaker 1: you've come into yourself, you've come out. You seem so

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Speaker 1: grounded and comfortable with who you are. Like, I guess,

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Speaker 1: what are some of the tools that helped you get there? Like,

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Speaker 1: what do you do to take care of yourself? The

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Speaker 1: first thing I did when I made money was get therapy.

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Speaker 1: That's so smart. Literally the first thing I was like, wow,

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Speaker 1: of more than a dollar, I'm gonna invest this. Most

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Speaker 1: people buy a new car. It's really smart that you

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Speaker 1: were like I need to. That's just inside work before

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Speaker 1: I stuff. It's really amazing. Yeah, well, on unfiltered at

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Speaker 1: the JB'll podcast after a quick break and now back

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Speaker 1: to the show. I'm always so curious, like do you

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Speaker 1: when you're working, especially, do you work at night? Do

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Speaker 1: you work during the day? Do you like to listen

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Speaker 1: to music? Do you need silence, like what's your process?

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Speaker 1: Paint the picture for me with your words. Silence is

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Speaker 1: real hard for me. I don't I don't know how

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Speaker 1: people sit in silence and relate that. My brain will

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Speaker 1: just run a million miles a second. I need like

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Speaker 1: noise to it like puts my thoughts at peace. Or

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Speaker 1: if I'm painting and I get stuck, I can listen

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Speaker 1: to a song's lyrics or thinking about like the insture

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Speaker 1: mental and get caught up in that, on their storytelling,

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Speaker 1: and then it like makes me feel safe and not

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Speaker 1: just like it's all on me in a way. Like

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Speaker 1: I feel like if I want to cultivate a particular mood,

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Speaker 1: I'll put on other album or just a good playlist

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Speaker 1: and it's like they're helping me. Amazing. You know, I

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Speaker 1: often think about so much of add I feel like,

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Speaker 1: you know, at some point you are making it for yourself, right,

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Speaker 1: because you have to want to make it for yourself,

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Speaker 1: to want to make it. So there has to be

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Speaker 1: some kind of instinctive like I want to do this,

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Speaker 1: I have a vision for this. And then I think,

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Speaker 1: especially because then art is meant to be shown or

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Speaker 1: consumed by and be shared. At some point you also

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Speaker 1: have to think like, okay, what do I want other

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Speaker 1: people to feel when they see this or they experience this? Like,

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Speaker 1: is there a theme to your work? Is it kind

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Speaker 1: of always different with every piece? Like, do you have

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Speaker 1: any kind of feelings that you're trying to pull out

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Speaker 1: of people or share with people when you're creating? I

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Speaker 1: think it will start with just purely how I feel,

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Speaker 1: just completely selfish, just pretending an audience doesn't even exist,

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Speaker 1: and then I'll look at it in a like is

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Speaker 1: this clear enough? If I'm a stranger that knows no

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Speaker 1: context about who I am, will you understand the story

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to tell you, even if the story is

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Speaker 1: very personal and whatever? And then I'll go in and

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Speaker 1: I'll change it. I'm getting out of this now, but

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Speaker 1: I found myself within the last few months now that

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Speaker 1: I am getting so much success and people are seeing

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Speaker 1: my art, I found myself feeling like my art needs

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Speaker 1: to be more polished. But what does that even mean?

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Speaker 1: And I think I was just scared in a way

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Speaker 1: to just be myself. And my art does require like

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Speaker 1: putting tape and gluing paper and you see the glue

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Speaker 1: and there's Pastel and it looks a little bit, not bad,

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Speaker 1: but just it's just free. And I was trying to

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Speaker 1: make all the lines really clean because I thought that

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Speaker 1: would make it better and nicer. And if I'm getting

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Speaker 1: to this level like refined or something, yeah, I need

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Speaker 1: to be more refined. But I realized that's not me.

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Speaker 1: What am I even doing? I think I was just

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Speaker 1: seeing other people when I got scared. So I wonder, like,

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Speaker 1: when you're getting more success in music and stuff, did

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Speaker 1: you have that moment where you're changing yourself a big time?

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Speaker 1: Oh my God, that's like all I did for the

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Speaker 1: first ten years of my career is trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out how to be everybody else, because that's all you see, right.

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Speaker 1: I think that's so hard when you're trying to find

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Speaker 1: your own path, right, because you look around and everybody

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Speaker 1: else is on their own paths. But you don't know

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Speaker 1: what your path is yet because you're on it and

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Speaker 1: you can't see it kind of through the haze of

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Speaker 1: everything that you're doing. That's kind of where I'm at now,

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Speaker 1: where I'm like, I think I've been neglecting myself while

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to be everybody else, and

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Speaker 1: then you're like, actually, nobody can do what I can do. Right,

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Speaker 1: you have to know that you are special. You have

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Speaker 1: to know that the thing that you're doing is individual

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Speaker 1: or like. You know, you want to be contributing something,

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Speaker 1: you're making art right, you want to stand out, you

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Speaker 1: want to do the thing that feels like nobody else

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Speaker 1: could be doing it. This is so me. No one

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Speaker 1: else could do this thing that I'm doing. I think,

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Speaker 1: if anything, like draw more outside the lines, like that's

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Speaker 1: probably the right instinct. You know, you get become more

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Speaker 1: or yourself, as opposed to I think you're, you said before,

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Speaker 1: like putting your blinders on kind of and like really

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Speaker 1: focusing on what you're doing and stopping to not look

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Speaker 1: around at what everyone else is doing. That's like probably

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Speaker 1: the key. You're really doing it. Thank you. Do you

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Speaker 1: ever listen to old music that you made or like

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Speaker 1: I look at my old paintings and be like why

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Speaker 1: do I like this more than now? And I'm like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: because no one knew, like, even though technically I don't

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Speaker 1: like it, more like conceptually, like something about it was

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Speaker 1: just so free, and I'm like, oh, that's because I

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Speaker 1: didn't care about anyone else. It was just me in

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Speaker 1: my bedroom making this thing and I've been trying to

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Speaker 1: unlock that again. I don't care, like I'm just having

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Speaker 1: a good old Tom I think your instincts are really right,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? They're really good to be

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Speaker 1: like have the feeling or have the thought or have

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Speaker 1: the fear and then be like wait, this is who

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Speaker 1: I am. Hindsight again, you're looking at these oddists who

391
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Speaker 1: have been dead for a hundred years and you're like, well,

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Speaker 1: they made every right decision. It's like no, no, they

393
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Speaker 1: were just, you know, messing around and trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out life. And now we look back at it and

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Speaker 1: you're like, Oh, you had it so figured out. Even

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Speaker 1: you to yourself two years ago, you're like, I had

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Speaker 1: it so figured out back then. It's like if you

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Speaker 1: ask yourself two years ago, you'd be like no, I

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Speaker 1: don't you know. Okay, you're amazing. I have a couple

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Speaker 1: more questions for you. I like, I just I'd ever

401
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Speaker 1: want to let you go, because I could talk to

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Speaker 1: you forever. I really want to know. I feel like

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Speaker 1: you're so confident. That's my perception of you. Oh yeah,

404
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Speaker 1: I feel real confident. Yes, this is what we love

405
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Speaker 1: to see, because people sometimes they're like you're so confident

406
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Speaker 1: and then like I'm really faking it today, like please.

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Speaker 1: So I love that you're like yes, I'm confident, I'm here.

408
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Speaker 1: Were you sort of always born a little bit with that,

409
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Speaker 1: like yeah, I'm confident, like this part of my personality,

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Speaker 1: or did you have to really develop it and kind

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Speaker 1: of have you arrived somewhere that now you've like I

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Speaker 1: did all this work to get here. All Right, I'm

413
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Speaker 1: about to be honest, be so honest, obsessed. You're safe

414
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Speaker 1: with me. I always felt very confident, but my family,

415
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Speaker 1: it was really mean and abusive to me and like

416
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Speaker 1: would always push me down. But I always is just

417
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Speaker 1: like what I make is dope, or like I'll like

418
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Speaker 1: draw a little like smiley faced. I'm like this is

419
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Speaker 1: the coolest smiley face ever, and not not even that.

420
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Speaker 1: I'm better than anyone, but like I'm just the best

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Speaker 1: me for me right now, when you're celebrating yourself, it

422
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Speaker 1: is not taking away from anybody else, and I'm very believable.

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Speaker 1: I can say I'm dope and not be like I'm

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Speaker 1: not better. I'm not saying I'm better than anybody that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't say that. I'm saying I think I'm awesome, exactly. So,

426
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: like I always felt that. But then my family wasn't

427
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,920
Speaker 1: giving me that energy. So I was starting to feel

428
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,679
Speaker 1: like a little bit crazy. I was like, but I

429
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 1: think what I'm doing is cool, like my art is cool,

430
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: like I've never seen nothing like it and it's just

431
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 1: so vibrant. Why is all the paintings Beige and I

432
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:43,719
Speaker 1: want to see white, blue and red, and my parents

433
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 1: would be like no, it shouldn't be read it should

434
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: be realism. Why are you doing abstract art? And I

435
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: was like because it's cool. Like I don't know, I've

436
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 1: always felt that, because I feel it. Yeah, you feel

437
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,919
Speaker 1: it's odd, like it's coming from inside of you. I

438
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 1: feel that. Yeah. So, yeah, I've allways felt then and

439
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: there are things I've had to work on. But I

440
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 1: was talking to my therapist the other day and I

441
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 1: was telling her about my anxieties in like personal life

442
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: and nothing even having to do with art. I didn't

443
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 1: know how to tell her that I feel nervous to

444
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 1: talk to people sometimes. So I was like, I told

445
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 1: her when I'm painting, I feel I don't feel nervous aid. Oh,

446
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm flying. I can just do anything

447
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: and even if it doesn't look good or the story

448
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 1: isn't right and I'm frustrated, I don't feel less confident.

449
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: I just know that I'm like I can be better

450
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 1: and I want to make it better. And she was

451
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,159
Speaker 1: like what is that feeling? When you're painting, like you

452
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 1: should channel that when you're talking to people. You should

453
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 1: channel that and your personal life too, and I was like, Oh,

454
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 1: I can even do this anywhere. Yeah, oh my gosh,

455
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: that's a good therapist and that sounds like maybe that

456
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 1: has a lot to do with this place that you're

457
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 1: at in your life or you're feeling really confident and

458
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: really happy, like finding the way that you feel. That's

459
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 1: so special and so cool. Okay, well, I always have

460
00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,160
Speaker 1: believed that, like queerness is magic, like Queer people are joy.

461
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 1: I think that like just what you said made me

462
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 1: think about how like the world is so beige and

463
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,199
Speaker 1: queer people in so many ways, people who are different,

464
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: people who are other. Are The colors? Are the bright

465
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,360
Speaker 1: blue and the red and the vibrants, like do you

466
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: feel like your aunt is really kind of like loud

467
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 1: and colorful because you're sort of representing this part of

468
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: yourself that is that sort of otherness? Do you feel

469
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 1: like you're is there any kind of purposefulness as far

470
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 1: as it tying into your queerness and being yourself and

471
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 1: being like, I'm different and I don't see the world

472
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,680
Speaker 1: in the same way as everybody else? In my aut

473
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,360
Speaker 1: has to reflect that. Like, I don't want to put

474
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 1: words in your mouth, I want to know how you feel.

475
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: It's so interesting that you said that. I think being

476
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 1: queer gave me like just a different Lens on the world,

477
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,920
Speaker 1: seeing like, Oh, why do y'all do it this way,

478
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 1: like why? Why do you feel this way? And then

479
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 1: it's like, I think sometimes I'll paint something not even

480
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 1: thinking about being queer, and then I'll look at it

481
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 1: and be like, Oh, like this, it is very clear

482
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 1: and like has so many other meanings and it's just

483
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: so funny what you said is right. I think it's

484
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 1: so cool. It's like your I can see, I mean

485
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 1: when I look at your odd I can feel that

486
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 1: sort of exactly what you said is so correct and

487
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 1: it's so special where you're like why is the World Beige?

488
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 1: I see it differently and I just wanted to be better.

489
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 1: And Art is supposed to reflect the world that you

490
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: want to see, sometimes not necessarily the world as it is.

491
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 1: And so you're taking this beige world around you of

492
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: not being supported, dealing with abuse and feeling like you

493
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: can't compy yourself, and so you're making this ought that's

494
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 1: so in opposition to that, that is so you and

495
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 1: is and having these feelings of like should I change,

496
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: and then you're like no, I have to be myself

497
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: twice as hot. It's like you're on this such a

498
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 1: beautiful journey and you are the absolute perfect honest for

499
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 1: us to have here on this podcast that is literally

500
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 1: exclusively about being yourself and being authentic. I'm so I'm

501
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 1: leaving this conversation feeling so inspired by you. Thank you. Oh,

502
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: I'm so glad. I think there's some about here, or

503
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 1: even if it's a really sad song or the happiest song, like,

504
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,199
Speaker 1: whatever it is, you listen and you can if you

505
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: just feel that they felt that it transcends no matter

506
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 1: how technically good or how simple the song is, like

507
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: you just feel it, it like goes beyond anything. So amazing.

508
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 1: It also goes to show how connected we all are.

509
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 1: Right like all of the stuff that you're talking about,

510
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, literally know exactly what you mean,

511
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: and it's just because I'm a creative person and I'm

512
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: an honest and we're all going through so much of

513
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 1: the same stuff all the time. But it feels like

514
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 1: we so often feel like we're so different and like

515
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 1: there's a lot that's different between you and me, first

516
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 1: of all being, you know, the ten year age gap

517
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 1: and minute you know, it's like we have a very

518
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: different life in all these ways. But it's like I

519
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 1: totally feel like I see you and can meet you

520
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: where you're at and understand what you're talking about and

521
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: it's like yeah, because we're all we're all connected, and

522
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 1: is a huge part of what does that. So thank

523
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 1: you for being so candid and honest and sharing yourself

524
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,919
Speaker 1: with me today, Victor. I'm so I'm so blessed to

525
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 1: be here with you too has to be stressed. Babe.

526
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be here. It's nice talking about

527
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: art with people. I'm always by myself drawn, so it's like, yeah,

528
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 1: you might art too. Cool. Well, I love your work

529
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful that we got to spend a

530
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: little bit of time. Thank you so much for being yourself.

531
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: We're so lucky to have you. Thank you. I want

532
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 1: to say thank you the victor again for joining me today.

533
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: The way he is changing the art game is no joke.

534
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: It really goes to show how our experiences and self

535
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: expression can resonate far beyond our own world. Victor's maturity

536
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: and thoughtfulness and spirit really really resonated with me today

537
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful to be sharing this experience with

538
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 1: you guys. That's it for today's episode, but join me

539
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: again next week when we talk about, wait for it,

540
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 1: the art of drag. Oh yes, it's gonna be a

541
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 1: good one, so don't forget to join in on the conversation.

542
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 1: I want to hear from you and know what you

543
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 1: think of the podcast. Who Do you think we should

544
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: have on the show? How have you been using your creativity?

545
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 1: Share your thoughts with me on socials, or leave a

546
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,639
Speaker 1: rating and review for the PODCAST. Wherever you're listening, you

547
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,400
Speaker 1: can always find me on instagram and twitter at Betty who,

548
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: and on Tiktok and Youtube at Betty who music. Until

549
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: next time, unfiltered. The JBL PODCAST is produced by I

550
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,640
Speaker 1: HEART RADIO AND PARTNERSHIP WITH J B l. Our show

551
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: is hosted by me, betty who. Our executive producer is

552
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 1: molly sosha. Our EP of post production is Matt Stillo.

553
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 1: Our editor is Sierra spreen. This episode was written and

554
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 1: produced by Sierra Kaiser. Special thanks to our friends at

555
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:39,640
Speaker 1: JB L initiative and Donna