WEBVTT - #480 - Madeline Merlo on How Keith Urban Almost Made Her Crash Her Car 0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:09.319 When Zach and I finished the production for A One 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:12.520 House Down, I knew that he knew him. I said, 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:14.560 would you text him this song and ask him to 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:16.960 play Soolow on it? And Zach was like, I'd give 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:19.000 it nineteen percent chance that he says yes, And I 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:21.320 said I'll take ninety percent and he said yes. 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:26.680 I did not know she was on Songland. Do you 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:30.800 know that? I didn't know that. Huh? And Songland just 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:34.479 took like really good songwriters. Her name is Madeline Merlow. 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:39.879 I really enjoyed talking with her. I have this thing 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:41.959 where I walked down to the studio if I've never 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:43.880 met the person, I knew what she looked like because 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:49.120 I'd seen her on Dustin Lynch's Instagram. And there's always 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:51.720 that first three or four minutes of any interview where 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:53.840 you're kind of like early in a boxing magic, kind 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:57.880 of circling each other their houses, gonna work. And I 0:00:57.920 --> 0:01:00.280 feel like, at like three or four minutes we were like, oh, okay, 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:01.760 we got some stuff we can talk about. I thought 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:04.040 the clique, Yeah, there was a click, especially when she 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.320 was volunteering like her time in therapy, and I'm like, oh, 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:09.080 I can I can go there and that'll open us 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:10.840 up to a lot of other things, because that's as 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:12.600 vulnerable as it gets when you start talking about like 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:18.240 your feelings and your insecurities. And then it was like 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:21.080 I liked her, and so I thought it went pretty good. 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:25.039 She grew up in Maple Ridge, BC, Canada, which is 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:30.120 left side right Vancouver. She said, near Vancouver. That's like 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:34.199 the California version of Canada, way over there. Her father 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:37.600 was a funk musician, which we found out she wasn't 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.280 with him a lot. So I was like, hey, your 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:43.119 dad played, but she's like yeah, but so, and that's 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:45.320 when we were like, oh, what about Is it jeans 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:50.200 or is it environment? Is it a bit of both? 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:54.200 She had been wanted to sing forever and she sang 0:01:54.280 --> 0:01:58.280 Somewhere over the Rainbow, and I was kind of it Somewhere. 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:00.720 There's a really cool story on one of the last 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:03.360 episodes we did too by Somewhere over the Rainbow Judy Garland, 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:07.360 who is that with with Randa Lee? Branda Lee? Yeah, 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:09.120 she said. Judy Garland gave her some great advice at 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:11.400 a hotel in Vegas. She went up to her and 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:13.840 was like, what you were a kid star, what do 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.040 you do. That's a good one. That's a good one. 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:20.639 Madelinemurlow signed Recordhill at eighteen. She did a bunch of 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:23.560 stuff in Canada and then came to the States, and 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:25.799 she kind of has a cool deal now where she's 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:27.919 a new artist here, but she's not so new in Canada, 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:29.960 so she lives here like she is. Fully she's a 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:33.040 Nashville artist, embraced at one hundred percent. But what's cool 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:34.920 is every once in a while she can pop back 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:38.040 home and do six seven shows and pair of bills. Yeah, 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.760 and they come back down, So like, that's cool. I 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:43.640 think that's it. I really enjoyed it. Hope you check 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:45.520 her out. I hope you like her music. Her name 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:49.520 is Madeline Murlow and that is also her Instagram and 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:53.040 TikTok name. Her song One House Down from the Girl 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.600 next Door, which I just felt was so clever, came 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:58.320 out on October eleventh. We featured it on The Women 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:01.400 to Buy Her Country. We've also featured bar Fight on 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.639 Women of Our Country. And here she is, mad Madelene 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:08.720 madeleyn Madeleine Merlou. Here you go, Madelin. How's it going good? 0:03:08.880 --> 0:03:13.120 I saw good? I was watching just Dustin Lynch's Instagram. 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.639 You guys just did the opry. Yeah that's cool. 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:16.320 Last week. 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:19.240 Yeah, so I followed Dustin. What was it was that 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:21.440 like the first first time for you? Yeah? 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:22.840 That was my debut? 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:24.000 Oh cool? Yeah? 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:25.880 And then the first time because we have a song together, 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:27.720 the first time we ever played it? 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:28.920 What was that night? Like? 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:31.240 It was amazing? I was wreck though. 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:33.839 I was like not okay, Like when I first got there, 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:35.640 you do like a bunch of interviews and stuff, and 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.760 people were talking to me and I wasn't processing any information, 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:42.120 Like I was just freaking out. I just feel like 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:44.800 it's such a I don't know every artist I've looked 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.080 up to loved to have played that stage, and I've 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:49.040 just wanted it for so long, So I think. 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.160 I felt like the gravity of it. But then I 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:52.720 saw Dustin. 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:54.840 I'm like, how many times have you played? I'm freaking out? 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:58.640 He's like, oh, like hundreds, Like it's fine, wait you 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:01.640 saw that, Like sorry, When we were sound checking, he 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:03.960 came in and he was so mellow. 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.640 And I was just bumping him there and be like no, no, no, 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.480 we have a song together. Got it got to yeah, and. 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:12.120 Then he was like I don't know. He was so 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:13.920 mellow and so it like chilled me out a little bit. 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:16.320 The room's cool that they put you in the first 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:18.480 time because it's got all the quotes on it. It's 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.080 got like Taylor. Yeah, it's really the only one I 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.800 can remember. Yeah, because it's pretty that's a pretty large one. 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:25.440 And also it's Taylor too, for sure. 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:26.800 It's like, oh my god, I'm on the Oprey. 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:28.680 Yeah, how long ago did you know that you're going 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:32.520 to do the opry? They do any kind of like, hey, Madeline, 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:35.719 we're especially inviting you with me. I think they were like, hey, 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:38.039 somebody fell out, we jump in. I think that was 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:38.839 me my first time. 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:43.160 It was when we so me and Dustin were doing 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.760 liners for our song and it was like on the 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.840 teleprompter and I like, I like announced it to myself 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:50.159 kind of which was fun. 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:51.200 And you didn't know what was coming. 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:51.520 No. 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:53.920 I had gone in there a few months previous and 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:56.520 like met the staff and then you play some songs 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.520 and so I had hoped, but then I didn't hear anything. 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:00.760 So I was like, oh, oh my gosh, I like 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:03.760 do something and they hate me. I was scared, but they. 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:05.800 Did ask me, so you have your own parking spot. Yep, 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:07.200 do you keep the sign? Of course? 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.600 Yeah, I haven't hung it up yet, but I will 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:10.080 for sure. 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.240 And uh, what did you play? 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.320 I played well, Dustin and I did the duet at 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:19.000 the first first No, I did Champagne Night. 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:21.240 Which because you need to be so nervous the first one. Yeah, 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:24.000 with Dustin, that's too much comfortable somebody else you don't 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:26.839 you want to be so petrified nervous the first song, absolutely, 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:27.560 for sure, of course. 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:30.920 But yeah, I chose that song just because it like 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:33.400 kind of kicked open a lot of doors in town 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:38.640 for me, my mom, my sister, came so many like 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:41.360 friends and you know, my label. 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.680 Industry songwriters, just just the crew. It was good. 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.680 You'll like your second time way more than your first time. 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:50.159 I've heard that, Yeah, I think so. 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:52.159 I am like, as soon as it was done, it's 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:54.800 I mean, it's just it was so great. Everyone's so nice. 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:56.880 It's the very mellow thing. I was like, Man, I 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:58.640 wish I hadn't like freak out all day. 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:00.960 I can't wait to do it. And yeah, you have to. 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:02.880 But see, that's the thing. The first time, you're just 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:04.960 like like the first time that I played it. I 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.480 don't even remember the people like in the crowd. Yeah, 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:10.520 it was so nervous. Yeah, but like the second time, 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:13.320 it's kind of cool because there's not a cake and 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.560 all your label people aren't there, and we appreciate that 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:18.039 for the first time. Then like the eighth time, like 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:19.640 I show up ten minutes before and late right after, 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:22.160 and it's still awesome. Yeah, but now it's just like 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:25.120 you belong and they're super cool with you. But it 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.760 all starts at that first one, like congratulations, that's super cool. 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:28.880 How long have you been in town? 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:30.440 Almost seven years? 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:34.919 Okay, so long enough, but not so so long. The 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:36.360 pandemic kind of cuts a couple of years. 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:38.320 I think so too. I think it did. 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:42.000 I LL at least that's what I say. But yeah, yeah, 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:42.919 almost seven years. 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:44.880 You moved from where so. 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.360 I'm originally from forty minutes outside of Vancouver, Canada. Called 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:48.680 me for. 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:52.719 Ridge, which is like California. Yeah, exactly, like that side. 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:57.080 On the Yeah, west coast, Pacific, northwest, beautiful, small, blueberry town, 0:06:57.480 --> 0:06:59.000 not a ton going on, And then. 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:01.080 I'm blueberry Town that real term. Yeah did you make 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:01.360 that up? 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:03.359 No, it's just like there's a lot of blueberry fields. 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:05.080 Oh, there literally are blueberry I thought there was like 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:07.120 some term I'd never heard. It was like a nice 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:11.920 lang blueberry town. Yeah, okay, okay, so you have blueberries there. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:13.000 Yeah. 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:16.600 And then I moved to Toronto, which is like Canada's 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:19.080 like New York and lived there for like a year 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:20.800 and a half, and then Pat do u Hall moved 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:21.520 to Nashville. 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:23.760 When you moved to Toronto, what'd you do that for 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:24.320 what purpose? 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:27.040 I just wanted to there's more of like a music 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:29.720 scene and business scene in Toronto. There's just not I mean, 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:33.600 Canada is a very large country in size, but population why, 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:35.640 it's not very big. And when it came to like 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:37.800 my label was there and I felt like I could 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:39.360 put together a band, and I felt like a lot 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:41.840 of my shows were in that area, so it was more. 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:44.080 And also I was just young. I was like ready 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:45.720 to get out and just be on my own and 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:47.440 it was a harsh reality. 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:50.000 What prompted you to move to Nashville specifically? 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:51.840 I always wanted to. 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:56.320 I visited Nashville I think at like fifteen or sixteen 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.000 for the first time as soon as I figured out 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:01.000 there was like a magical way and where people came 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:04.840 and wrote songs for a living and yeah, and then 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.000 I was pretty determined. But as a Canadian, it's hard. 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:08.800 You need a visa, you can only stay for six 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:11.440 months without once. You kind of need a company to 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:14.080 like sign off on you. It's expensive. There's like a 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:15.560 lot of kind of hoops you got to jump through. 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:17.440 So I just like worked and saved up money and 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:20.600 had a career up in Canada and still do tour 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:22.000 it a lot and had a lot. 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:22.760 Of great experiences. 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:24.480 But it was always like, as soon as I could 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:26.480 move to Nashville, I was going to do it. 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:30.480 So did you need someone in the States to like 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:33.280 co sign mm hmm, not even use. 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.319 Kind of yeah, I mean it's a process, right. They 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:39.439 have to like basically vouch for you that like they'll 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:42.240 send you back if needed, and they're like low key 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:45.200 responsible for you and that they're going to supply you 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:48.240 with work. And so when I moved down, like I 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:50.840 didn't really have that, and so you just started like 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.440 harassing anyone that would like make eye contact with me and. 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:55.760 Be like listen to my song? Have you heard my song? 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:58.320 It was like this clock that was counting down. 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:00.600 You moved here without that. Yeah, so you basically had 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:02.760 six months. It was like the numbers dud, dude, it's 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:05.120 counting down. Yeah, I think it. 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:07.360 Like to play in the US, there's a visa call 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:09.920 to P two which will kind of like get you 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:12.320 in for like one specific show. So I think I 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:13.839 had one of those at the time, so didn't like 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:14.959 raise any red flags. 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:16.360 But that was done and the. 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.439 Clock had started, and I was like, Okay, I need 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:20.679 to get a publishing deal essentially. 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:22.280 And how did you go about getting that? You move here? 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:24.560 What was your apartment like? I'm always curious that people's 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:26.720 first Yeah, like the first like three months here? What 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:29.160 was your apartment like? And what were your first couple of, 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.160 you know, ventures out in the music world. 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.960 I lived in Midtown in one of like the little 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:35.680 apartments there. 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:37.480 I cried like every day. I had no friends and 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:38.640 no anybody. 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:39.439 No roommate, no. 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:43.080 I would listen to your guy's show actually, and I 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.240 listened to a ton of Bobby Cast and I felt 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:47.080 like you had the scoop on everything, and I had 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:47.679 no friends and. 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.760 So you guys were I was your friend? I just 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:50.080 you are? 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:54.720 Yes, Yeah, But honestly, it was like anyone like you'd 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:55.720 have one kind of friend. 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:58.800 I actually remember Hannah Ellis, who was an artist. 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:01.760 I had to write with her, and she invited me 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.920 to a party. I remember, and I was so scared 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:06.760 and I never forgot that she did that because I 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:10.520 was like literally knew nobody was petrified and just rolled up. 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:15.560 So how do you make friends? No, no, no, I've 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:17.120 been had to do it. It's hard to do. I 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:19.520 just wonder how you did it here and all your 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:23.400 friends are probably also competing or trying for the same 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:23.960 goals you have. 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:27.720 Yeah, I would say, I mean it's hard. I remember 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:29.559 being like, if you're at like a yoga class, do 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:30.840 you just like be like Hi? 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:34.040 Like, I mean, I'm awkward as it is. So I 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:34.560 don't really know. 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.160 I think through like song writing and then you meet 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:39.880 kind of one friend who introduces you to their friend 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:41.640 and you kind of click with people. 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:43.839 But I find that Nashville's pretty open. 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:45.680 Like when I moved to Toronto, I made like one 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:46.880 friend in like two years, like. 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:48.439 I had the whole time. You left one friend? 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:50.200 Yeah, like one friend I could call. 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.440 Did you do the n S A? I A And 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:55.959 I say, I deal on songwriters? Or how did you 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:56.840 get your first rites. 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:00.440 I like I had just known a couple people through 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:02.280 Canada because I would come down here and write with 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:04.200 a couple of people, like I knew Phil Barton and 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:07.400 knew like a few people. And then I went to 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:11.240 be my I went to ask cap and just was 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:13.240 like please, like just set me up with rights and 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:16.000 just started like compounding and then like can I jump 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:17.559 up with you and sing at the listening room or 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:19.560 can I do this? And just I felt like really 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:22.679 did everything I could to meet anyone, like going out, 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:24.319 if you were playing a show, I was going to 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:25.920 be there. I was just trying to talk to people, 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.880 and yeah, I just needed to be able to stay. 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.079 I'm assuming you beat your six month goal. Did you 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.319 get a publishing a deal before six months? Yeah? How close? 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:39.080 Yeah, I think so you can stay. I don't know 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:40.719 the exactly because you can stay in the US six 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:41.280 months at a time. 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:42.920 So I had gone home and then like would come 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:43.520 stack over. 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:45.599 So if you go home and push the button and 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:48.200 start over, yeah something as long as your like parents 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:50.199 out white, I'd make sure you didn't get a job, 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:52.000 so you had to come home. Yeah, I guess if 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:53.640 she doesn't get a job, she has to go home 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:56.679 every six months. Yeah, do you check in kind? 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:57.360 I mean I would. 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.160 I would go play shows in Canada mainly, and then 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:01.880 it would kind of like reset or I'd spent like 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.680 you be really strategic with like how much time you'd spend. 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:08.480 But I think it was like pretty close. Yea, yeah, 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:13.440 I'm so grateful. The company is called Delusion. They were like, sure, 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:15.520 we'll give you down. I was like, thank God, Like 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.360 it was just the most you know, amazing thing. 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:20.960 I had to vouch for someone from Australia for a 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:23.120 few years, okay, yeah, and so like I know the 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:26.880 process and I would write the letter like she's not 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:31.120 murdered anyone. Yeah, I believe in her. What was home 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:32.839 like for your dad as a musician. 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:34.040 Yeah, yeah, he was. 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:37.920 I wouldn't say he like fostered anything that I did, 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:41.200 but he I think hereditarily like passed down his gifts 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:41.400 to me. 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:41.920 I guess. 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:45.160 But my mom was really the one that saw something 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:48.120 in me. I was very tenacious and I wasn't like 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:51.800 the star ever, Like I was obsessed with it and 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:54.319 I would audition for everything, go to the talent shows 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.520 and do musical theater and I'd always get cast in 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.280 the course, and I'd always get third place or not 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:02.640 even play, and for whatever reason, I was just like, Okay, 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:04.440 what's next, Okay, I just gotta do this. 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:06.839 I just gotta do that. Like sometimes they look back, 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:09.079 I'm like, how like, Yeah, you. 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:11.480 Ever think why did I keep going if I never 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.080 got it? Yeah? I think about that with me too, 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:15.839 because I was never like the person. I was always 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:17.640 mid but I always tried. 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:19.120 Yes, Oh I always say that. 0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:21.240 I say, like, I do be out here trying, like 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:24.000 I will try and try and try and failm film film, 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:24.720 keep trying. 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:26.559 Did your mom have musical background. 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:29.280 No, like not really. I think she just she was 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:30.080 just a rock star. 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:32.800 She she really pretty much raised me and my sister 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:33.440 on her own. 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:37.520 And so your parents were together, Uh No. 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:39.520 They got divorced when I was like kind of a 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:41.720 I think I was like twelve or thirty and you live. 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:45.560 With your mom mostly. So were there instruments? Did your 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:47.480 sister like music or did was it just like you're 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.560 just wondering why all of a sudden you love music? 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.400 It was genetic of it, you think. 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:51.800 I think so. 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:54.400 I think so, Like my dad had a guitar that 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:58.520 I would steal and play, and but I just like 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:03.199 loved music. I just remember feeling it's differently like I 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:06.120 remember listening to like an Eda James song and being 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:08.960 like feeling very emotional, like a really young age about 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:12.040 these songs, and it just felt like it mattered. And 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:15.640 then my dad loved music and he was involved in 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:17.880 music too, and I think I was the kid, you know, 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:21.280 really desperate for you know, their parents to pay attention 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:23.640 to them as well. I've still dealing with that in therapy, 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:24.240 but we'll see. 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:25.880 You know what's funny. I was talking to my friend 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:29.600 Eddie today today literally we were talking about some classic 0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:33.880 rock stuff. It was way before I was born, and 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:35.880 he was like, how do you know the singers of 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.960 these songs? And so I don't know my real dad, 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:43.360 but my mom remarried my stepdad, And I said, well, 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:47.400 like I wanted any relationship at all of my stepdad. Yeah, 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.320 he loved classic rock. So I would memorize every song 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:52.720 we play. This thing where I just felt like he 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:54.440 would talk to me and pay me attention if I 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:57.720 knew every song and every artist. And you saying that, 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:00.800 I mean as basically a version the conversation I had 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:04.280 earlier because I thought, if I know all these songs 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:06.480 and all these artists, yeah, he'll have something he thinks 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:09.200 about he can talk about with me. And it feels 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:13.200 like a bit slightly different that you did music for 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:15.560 a bit of attention or at least some kind of love. 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:18.320 Yeah, I think it's certainly a combination. 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.040 When I talked to my therapist about that, she said, 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:23.360 you know, every villain has their origin story. That's what 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:23.920 she said to me. 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.280 I had therapy girl. Yeah, therapy boy have been for 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:27.800 a long time. 0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:28.880 Game changer. 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:33.040 Why for you? When say win for you? Because I 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.120 think why is we'd be here for three hours because 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:36.400 I take over the conversation. 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:37.960 And yeah, me too, Me too. 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.960 I went for a few years and then I stopped, 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:43.080 and then I went for a few more years. 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:44.760 Mine was literally. 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:48.200 Like like it wasn't even like I needed help. 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:50.680 Very desperate shorty Canada. Did you start here? No? 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:51.360 I started here. 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:54.000 Actually, how were you introduced to it? I was. 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:56.320 I literally went to a doctor and I was like, 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.760 I am having five panic attacks a week, Like I 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:02.560 am out of control, Like physically I felt it physically. 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:04.960 I was like I don't know what's going on. I'm 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:07.240 like I don't want to leave my house, like, and 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:10.280 she was like, okay, okay, we need to like and 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:12.400 I ended up going to this place called center Stone, 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.120 which and this was like just such a god thing, 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:17.400 such a blessing. When I first moved to town, I 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:19.280 go to this I literally google I go this thing 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.560 called center Stone, and they're like, how much money do 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:23.520 you have? And I was like, I just moved here, 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.560 Like I'm like, uh, you know, I didn't have like anything, 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:27.960 and they were like, okay, then let's. 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:29.440 Take care of and they save my life. 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:32.440 One, I appreciate being open about that and even mentioning 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:35.000