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Speaker 1: I refuse to attend my Stepdar's wedding because I need

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Speaker 1: to care for my parent. I don't give a fuck.

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Speaker 1: Am I the hey hole?

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Speaker 2: My god, John, you really really put some emphasis on that.

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Speaker 1: You know, you know, we're we're we're just warming up

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Speaker 1: for all you guys listening. And I was like, you

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Speaker 1: know what. I saw this title, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna really lean into this to just I need

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Speaker 1: to kick into into my final key for drive. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm a little scared.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, you should be going Fast and Fury should be

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Speaker 2: fucking terrified. You skip through Fast and Furious one and

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Speaker 2: six and straight to seven.

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Speaker 1: I went straight to forty eight where they're next.

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Speaker 2: Dude, what's fast? Fast and Furious seven is just like

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Speaker 2: launching from helicopters into planes and like throwing missiles with cars.

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Speaker 2: What's forty five gonna be?

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Speaker 1: They're gonna figure it out. It'll literally be, It'll literally

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Speaker 1: be Vin Diesel's like Tombstone, just like no, they're gonna

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Speaker 1: be like he's going to actually pass away of old age,

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Speaker 1: but oh he's gone, and then he's going to come

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Speaker 1: back as a fucking robot, and like his likeness.

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Speaker 2: Is literally going to be Transformers and then there's gonna

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Speaker 2: be a Transformers Furious forty eight.

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Speaker 1: That crossover. That ip is actually brilliant because then you

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Speaker 1: take their likeness and they just they live on as Transformers.

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Speaker 1: The cars.

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Speaker 2: Yo. Hey hey, we're here sitting in this room with

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Speaker 2: a freaking gold mine.

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Speaker 1: We really are one more thing in this side. Tangent

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Speaker 1: will be over, I promise listeners. But my boy who

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Speaker 1: works at NBC Universal randomly got tickets on Sunday, so

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Speaker 1: we got to like literally Sunday morning. He's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: do you want to go to Universal because sick there's

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Speaker 1: a new Super Mario World, so we got to go

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Speaker 1: see it.

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Speaker 2: My friend worked on that, Oh really, the VR Yeah,

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Speaker 2: this guy Ben his VR company.

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Speaker 1: I think I know exactly what he worked on the

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Speaker 1: Mario Kark yes, probably yeah, but uh so we went

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Speaker 1: there and as per usual, like the lines are so long,

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Speaker 1: we literally ended up for all like basically a whole day.

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Speaker 1: We went on like three rides. Actually the most the

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Speaker 1: most fire thing was the studio tour. And this tour

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Speaker 1: they like put the tour bus in like a a

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Speaker 1: thing that like moves it. It's almost like Imax, but

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Speaker 1: it moves, and there was a fast and furious one

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Speaker 1: where Vin Diesel literally jumps out of his car grabs

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Speaker 1: onto a helicopter and it's like like, don't worry, guys,

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Speaker 1: like we're gonna get through this. Like as if he

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Speaker 1: could manhandle a fucking helicopter.

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Speaker 2: He's been Diesel. He can manhandle anything. I guess, I

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Speaker 2: guess hens, I.

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Speaker 1: Guess he could. But you know what it says, I'm

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Speaker 1: about to manhandle this story. Okay, all over your freaking face,

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Speaker 1: splash it, segueing, guys. Okay, So I'm the owner of

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Speaker 1: a wonderful rescued macaw Macaw. She's a wonderful bird, but

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Speaker 1: has a lot of issues due to her abusive former home,

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Speaker 1: Macall Macall. I've had her for three years and since

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Speaker 1: then haven't taken any vacations or trips as it would

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Speaker 1: be too disruptive for my bird.

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Speaker 2: Of course, Man, you got a bird that literally you

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Speaker 2: got you got a bird that can fly that made

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Speaker 2: you not be able to fly.

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Speaker 1: You know your your wing right now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you've clipped your wings with this clipped wing bird.

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Speaker 1: I think I think it's a bit too much, but

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Speaker 1: you know what, the story's just beginning, we'll see the

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Speaker 1: full situation. I eat chicken all the time. Oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna say that, dude, I killed the chicken. I kid,

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Speaker 1: did you kill chicken? Yeah? Chicken killing brothers over here, boom,

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Speaker 1: you kill your chicken? How did you kill your chicken?

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Speaker 1: I was part of this kind of like challenge thing.

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Speaker 1: Uh so basically, so we had to in short, grab

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Speaker 1: the chicken. My partner was the one that held it,

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Speaker 1: and its head was in this like little like rope

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Speaker 1: and then I like pulled the feathers back and just

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Speaker 1: slipt the throat super quick. Except I did not do

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Speaker 1: that at all, and it was slowly dying a very

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Speaker 1: painful death because of my horrendous I was like eighteen

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Speaker 1: years old. It's like, didn't do it right. So I

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Speaker 1: had to do it a thousand times before I finally died.

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Speaker 1: It's supposed to instantly die. That's like the method to

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Speaker 1: ensure like a that's one of like quick Safeman humane deaths.

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Speaker 1: With me, it was a brutal murder. You're a war criminal.

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Speaker 1: I am a criminal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, experience, I feel like I'll leave it till after this. Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's a good I have I literally did a stand

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Speaker 2: up routine with this chicken story.

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Speaker 1: Wow, okay, interesting ages ago interesting, an actual stand up routine,

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, oh wow, Okay, Now I'm very good to hear.

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Speaker 2: It's not gonna be good because I remember it, but

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Speaker 2: that's okay. I'll do my best.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, it'll be a recollection. Yeah yeah, reminiscing. But

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Speaker 1: back to Op's bird that may or may not need

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Speaker 1: to be murdered. My birdie distrust everyone in it is

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Speaker 1: very reliant on her routine. I love her deeply, and

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to make sacrifices for her. That is obvious.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty clear. No vacations for three years. Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: They are permanent toddlers and very intelligent birds. I met

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Speaker 1: my husband by the time my kids were older. My

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Speaker 1: stepdaughter was sixteen at the time we married, when she

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Speaker 1: moved away from college. Nevertheless, I thought we'd managed to

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Speaker 1: have a decent relationship until now. My stepdaughter is getting

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Speaker 1: married in March, and naturally there's a lot of preparation involved.

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Speaker 1: They're wanting a huge, traditional wedding and she is stressed

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Speaker 1: out of her mind. They live out of state, and

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Speaker 1: she invited me recently to come visit her for a

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Speaker 1: week to help with the wedding plans and to spend

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Speaker 1: time with their two year old. Okay, it makes sense,

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Speaker 1: I declined, what and and tell me it's the fucking bird, Sam,

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Speaker 1: She insisted to know why. Okay, acting very hurt, and

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Speaker 1: I explained it's the parrot.

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Speaker 2: Well, Opie is literally choosing a bird over her grandson

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Speaker 2: or daughter or grandchild, stepdaughter, grand step human.

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Speaker 1: Grand step person. Yeah, it all went downhill from there, Sam,

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Speaker 1: It's about to get worse, as it always does. Oh no.

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Speaker 1: She caused a massive fuss with her dad, saying she

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Speaker 1: never got a mother figure and I never accepted her

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Speaker 1: as my full blood daughter. And this is the ultimate

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Speaker 1: snub over a silly animal.

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Speaker 2: Excuse me, this is my silly parents. This is a

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Speaker 2: manca actually a very intelligent bird. It's probably more intelligent

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Speaker 2: than your two year old. Actually, she said, yeah, toddler,

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Speaker 2: Like this is my toddler. So you want me to

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Speaker 2: abandon my toddler. Yeah, it's just because I adopted my

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Speaker 2: toddler doesn't make it any different.

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Speaker 1: Seriously, your tother God, this is my feather, baby, forget

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Speaker 1: for babies. We're a way. I love feather babies, baby

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Speaker 1: gotta love it. She also said I'm cold and emotionless

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Speaker 1: and I feel really hurt. And I can tell that

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Speaker 1: my husband agrees with her, even though he's refusing to

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Speaker 1: take sides. But I don't see why I should be

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Speaker 1: expected to take holiday time off work to babysit and

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Speaker 1: quote unquote bond all of a sudden. And I don't

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Speaker 1: see how I'm a monster for this. Am I the

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Speaker 1: a hole? Yes?

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, bro, are you kidding me? Because also it's like,

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Speaker 2: so I feel like it's now much more transparent where

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Speaker 2: it's like you refuse to spend time with your stepdaughter's

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Speaker 2: child because you don't want to lose like vacation days.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's like all all of this stuff right, and.

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Speaker 2: You're just using the parrot as a poor cop out.

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Speaker 2: But Sam, there's an update, isn't there? Yes, there is

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Speaker 2: an update for context of her relationship. We don't usually

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Speaker 2: talk and she hasn't visited home in four years. This

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Speaker 2: is the parrot or the we don't usually talk.

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Speaker 1: We don't usually talk. You know, he's just like exactly,

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Speaker 1: he keeps he always diverts to crackers, Like I'm like,

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Speaker 1: please focus on when I'm trying to community emotions. It's

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Speaker 1: really communicator, you know what I mean. We're in therapy.

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Speaker 1: I have a council.

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Speaker 2: I have a cockatoo in the neighborhood, and it always

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Speaker 2: whistles on me when I when I run by, and

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Speaker 2: I'll say, pretty bird, I'll go over and I'll i'll

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Speaker 2: it too. And then if you dance, it dances too.

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Speaker 2: It's awesome, that's incredible. I imagine this one is connection

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Speaker 2: with a bird. Yeah, see see, you know it's uh.

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Speaker 1: You could have brought the bird and maybe she could

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Speaker 1: have spread her wings and danced on the wedding dance floor.

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Speaker 2: That would have been beautiful on missed opportunity exactly.

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Speaker 1: I'm beginning to think it was a mistake posting this,

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Speaker 1: mostly because this is real and nuanced situation and REDDA

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Speaker 1: is no place for nuance, and maybe personal relationships shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be judged in the a whole context in the first place.

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Speaker 1: But also, like op doesn't like the answer she heard, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't even know why I submitted to this in

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Speaker 1: the first place.

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Speaker 2: All of these thousands of Internet people are wrong.

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Speaker 1: But also I should be more understanding and a bigger

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Speaker 1: person regardless of who is or isn't the a whole

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Speaker 1: life is short to be but her and offended. So

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Speaker 1: I called my stepdaughter and told her that I understand

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Speaker 1: this is a big moment in her life and she

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Speaker 1: wants someone there to help and support her, and that

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to help her in any way I can.

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Speaker 1: To plan the wedding via zoom and virtually We talked

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Speaker 1: a bit, and I asked her why she hadn't accepted

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Speaker 1: me reaching out in the past, and she apologized and

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Speaker 1: said that she didn't want to accept someone as a

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Speaker 1: stand in a quote unquote fake replacement for her bio mom,

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Speaker 1: but now she regrets it in once a closer relationship,

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Speaker 1: especially seeing how close her significant other is with his mom.

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Speaker 1: We ended the conversation positively and I'm hoping things can

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Speaker 1: improve forward. I told her I'm a crazy bird lady,

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Speaker 1: true that is factual, and asked her if she still

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Speaker 1: wants a relationship knowing that, and she said that after

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Speaker 1: the wedding, she's willing to travel to visit us if

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Speaker 1: we have room, which we do. I'll leave this post up,

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Speaker 1: but I'm happy either way, and I'm glad the feedback

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Speaker 1: here motivated me to make the call?

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Speaker 2: Did it by zoom?

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Speaker 1: Come on and guess what they they said? I Reddit?

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Speaker 1: What not the ahle? What says not the a whole? Why?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Wait before you read, like, do you agree with me?

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Speaker 1: Like it like this is your real life stepdaughter, the

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Speaker 1: daughter of the man you've married, and you are using

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Speaker 1: a parrot over a macaw excuse me over over your

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Speaker 1: relationship with her, and now and she has a child

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Speaker 1: now who like you.

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Speaker 2: Like, she needs support like a young mother needs support

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Speaker 2: from their family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and and it sounds like you know, from from

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Speaker 1: what op he was saying earlier, like oh, she didn't

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Speaker 1: want to have this like fake relationship. It's like I

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Speaker 1: get the sense that it would just positively benefit her

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Speaker 1: to have like a human, positive maternal mother figure actively

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Speaker 1: engaged in her life. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I completely agree, but I'm curious what like the Reddit

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Speaker 2: comments say, like how is it not being a one?

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Speaker 2: Like what's the top comment? I'm a bird person too,

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Speaker 2: and I completely agree with it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, someone's asking for more info about why Opie can't

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Speaker 1: attend the out of state wedding. Okay, so yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is actually great A crazy thread, so they asked why

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Speaker 1: she could they op couldn't attend right, I'm planning on

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Speaker 1: making it a two day trip. I have. I have

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Speaker 1: that much planned out. The biggest issue issue is her

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Speaker 1: plucking problem. She's prone to I think I'm not saying mutilating.

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Speaker 1: I think it's where the feathers fall out. She plucks

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Speaker 1: her feathers out. Yeah, she's mutilating herself when she's stressed.

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Speaker 1: And in two days she won't have and in two

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Speaker 1: days she won't have done as much damage, if any.

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Speaker 1: But in a week of absence, I'm sure she'd start

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Speaker 1: up again. I've only just gotten her to stop. Someone commented, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that makes you extremely not the a hole,

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Speaker 1: and regardless of your previous relationship, it isn't. My bird

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Speaker 1: baby will be kind of sad. I'm not there. It's

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Speaker 1: fun fact animals have mental health issues too, But I'm like,

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Speaker 1: why can't there be more? Like? This is a very

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Speaker 1: important this is a little once in a lifetime thing

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Speaker 1: for your stepdaughter. So my question is like, Okay, we

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Speaker 1: can still take the mental health issue seriously of the pet.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's a bad thing, but it's like,

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Speaker 1: get a professional to help and way in or something

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Speaker 1: like do something to be able to attend this thing.

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Speaker 2: It's like also, it's like, this is a bird, not

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Speaker 2: an elephant. Put in your fucking car on the way, yeah,

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Speaker 2: on this road trip out of state.

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Speaker 1: There we go, right right, come on that too, Like

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Speaker 1: there's there's many things you can do too, And will

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Speaker 1: it not be the literal, one hundred percent perfect scenario

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Speaker 1: for the bird. Yes, But ultimately.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I.

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Speaker 1: Agree with you, I agree with you. I'm I'm talking

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Speaker 1: in the context of people like, well what about the bird. Okay,

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Speaker 1: even still, there's ways to like do stuff for the bird.

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Speaker 2: That is crazy. I feel like Internet people have way

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Speaker 2: more empathy for animals than they do humans.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when if you remember, like way back in the day,

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Speaker 1: they were like testing on sharks to see if they

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Speaker 1: can find the COVID vaccine, and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, yeah, you're like fuck hill every single shark,

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Speaker 2: Like I'm the saving my own.

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Speaker 1: We need to survive. Although I will admit watching watching Avatar,

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Speaker 1: I was like, damn, maybe I'm maybe I'm a bit

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Speaker 1: fucked up because it's like, we created COVID, then we're

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Speaker 1: gonna go and kill all the animals to save ourselves. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're we're getting pretty damn philosophical here, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? Uh, but you know sometimes that's that's what

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Speaker 1: they do. Uh, that's what we do. You know what

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Speaker 1: else we should do? John, Oh my god, we should

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Speaker 1: get philosophical on our slash o Kop show where if

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Speaker 1: you send in your stories, we're gonna read him off

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Speaker 1: the subreddit. So send him in join our slash okop

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Speaker 1: show and we look forward to hearing your stories. Am

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Speaker 1: I the a hole for ending my sister's pregnancy and

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Speaker 1: possibly her marriage? Uh? Yeah, yes, I don't know what

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Speaker 1: one one might think, but you know, don't don't judge

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Speaker 1: a title by its cover. We gotta we gotta take it.

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Speaker 2: We got a sleuth, we got a slog. We got

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Speaker 2: a sleuth more than Adam will.

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Speaker 1: Be trying to find a way to recover his career.

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Speaker 1: If we go, I Mail thirty two, have two older brothers,

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Speaker 1: Mail thirty and male forty, and his sister, female thirty four.

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Speaker 1: The age differences, so him and his sister are younger.

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Speaker 1: The two brothers are, you know, quite a few years old.

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Speaker 1: Yeah cool. Our family was relatively modest when my brothers

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Speaker 1: grew up, so they were cared for a lot by

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Speaker 1: my parents' families, who were very conservative. By the time

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Speaker 1: that me and my sister were born, our dad's career

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Speaker 1: was going great and we were well off. Me and

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Speaker 1: my sister have master's degrees, while our brothers didn't go

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Speaker 1: to college despite the funds and chances, which is.

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Speaker 2: Like subtle drag.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, subtle drag, Like not so subtle subtle drag there

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Speaker 1: on the brothers little elitists. Brothers are a bunch of birds,

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Speaker 1: bunch of bozos. My mom had been trying to set

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Speaker 1: up my sister with a churchgoer's kid, you know, like

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Speaker 1: to get married and whatnot. This did not progress until

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Speaker 1: around the time that my dad died and my sister

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Speaker 1: came back and helped with a funeral. My brother's families

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Speaker 1: are both in our hometown as well. I worked in

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Speaker 1: Tech and China at that time, and I now live

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Speaker 1: in SF and since the funeral, I've been mostly low

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Speaker 1: contact with everyone in my family except my sister. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I was very close with my dad and there was

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Speaker 1: obvious favoritism towards me which the others did not like, which.

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Speaker 2: I feel like Opie is just talking themselves up right.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure my dad brothers.

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Speaker 2: Were more educated. The dad liked desibore.

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Speaker 1: Like making money in China and SFI.

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Speaker 2: That's such as a total bru moment. But you know

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Speaker 2: what's better than saying Brah buy and bra buyer merch

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Speaker 2: that's right.

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Speaker 1: So at this point, my mom and oldest brother now

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Speaker 1: technically live in the family house. My sister somehow ended

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Speaker 1: up leaving her career and moving back to the hometown.

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Speaker 1: She then married the man that my mom set her

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Speaker 1: up with in twenty nineteen, the churchgoers kid. I honestly

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Speaker 1: was in shock at the wedding. I really didn't ever

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Speaker 1: see my sister living on a farm and becoming a

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Speaker 1: stay at home mom. I knew for a fact my

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Speaker 1: mom and brothers were a huge part of this because

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Speaker 1: there was a lot of she's back home posts on

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Speaker 1: their social media, and later I also found out that

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Speaker 1: my sister had pretty much given all of her savings

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Speaker 1: to the husband. Really, so here's this, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: master's degree, you know, a woman woman, you know, crushing it,

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Speaker 1: and then she becomes a farmer's wife and gives a

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Speaker 1: husband all of her money.

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Speaker 2: Girl, keep your money, keep keep your money. Get that

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Speaker 2: preyed up now.

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Speaker 1: Later in twenty twenty, my sister straight out of the

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Speaker 1: blue called me about just chatting, and of course I

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Speaker 1: love this. Early in twenty twenty one, my mom told

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Speaker 1: me that my sister was pregnant. I immediately asked my

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Speaker 1: sister about this, and she pretty much broke down. In short,

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Speaker 1: the husband has been very abusive, she's broke and my

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Speaker 1: family and her in laws having helped. Wow, can you imagine, like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, terrible situation and her family pressured her

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Speaker 1: into it, and now they're not helping her.

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Speaker 2: She's they pressured her into the marriage.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Like who's who's your kid? The farmer or your

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Speaker 1: freaking kid? Yeah, she's My oldest brother yelled at her

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Speaker 1: about how his wife went through the same thing, and

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Speaker 1: my sister should stop thinking she's special toxic.

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Speaker 2: Wait, his wife went to the same things as big Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like being abused? Did you just admit to abusing your wife? Ude?

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Speaker 2: Doing seriously, go back to school, get an education and

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Speaker 2: not being the first time she called me, he had

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Speaker 2: kicked her out of the home for complaining about their finances,

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Speaker 2: and that this was fairly common.

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Speaker 1: This is where I might be the a hole. I

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Speaker 1: basically yelled at her too. I told her that she

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Speaker 1: had a career which she can go back to, and

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Speaker 1: I can help her move back to NYC where she

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Speaker 1: worked and studied before. It's nice of the brother, but

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Speaker 1: the thing is, he's like yelling at her. He's like,

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Speaker 1: you have a career, Like why don't you go back

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Speaker 1: to New York? What are you doing? Like why are

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Speaker 1: you staying here?

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Speaker 2: I guess it could have been a handle better, but

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Speaker 2: the sentiment is nice, like I'm going to help you

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Speaker 2: build your life back to here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the sentiment was nice. And he finished off

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Speaker 1: by saying that the pregnancy wasn't the end of it

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Speaker 1: and that there are other options. The next day, she

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Speaker 1: asked me for five thousand dollars, which I sent to

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Speaker 1: her without asking anything. I didn't hear much after that

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Speaker 1: and didn't intrude because it was just a total mind

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Speaker 1: f to me. A month later, my sister told me

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Speaker 1: that she had gotten a new job in NYC and

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Speaker 1: filed for divorce. Wow, okay, God, so we go. You know,

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Speaker 1: she she's moving back in a good direction. Uh. And

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Speaker 1: also the pregnancy is no longer on the table. Now,

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Speaker 1: my family has been blowing up on social media, calling

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Speaker 1: me in all sorts of bs. I've in general clapped

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Speaker 1: back at them, and it looks like the home might

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Speaker 1: be on the market soon. My sister needed to switch

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Speaker 1: apartments and got a restraining order against her ex as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh things are not so great right.

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Speaker 2: Now, zam, But I'm happy.

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Speaker 1: That my sister is better. So the question is am

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Speaker 1: I the A hole?

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Speaker 2: I mean, you could have maybe been a little bit nicer,

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Speaker 2: but I'd say, overall, you're trying to help your sisters,

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Speaker 2: so I'd say not the a hole.

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Speaker 1: And I would actually disagree a little bit. I think

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Speaker 1: that the fact, like, dude, she's she's been beaten by

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Speaker 1: this guy, beat her, stole her money. You know, she

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Speaker 1: has a baby with the guy, which she doesn't want,

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Speaker 1: you know, any to do with, and now another person

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Speaker 1: is yelling at her, Like I could just see even

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Speaker 1: though it's like the right message.

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Speaker 2: Like yeah, like the tough love is maybe not what

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Speaker 2: this person needs right now. Honesty without empathy is cruelty, yeah,

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Speaker 2: And I feel like the brother.

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Speaker 1: Might be being a little cruel yeah, but at least

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Speaker 1: like the advice he gave her is what She followed,

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Speaker 1: which seems to like she'll get her own money back. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she'll hopefully rebuild her life. She's