Speaker 1: All right, be a fam, welcome back. I am back
Speaker 1: with the Brown Table, and I have my friends, my
Speaker 1: BA fam in person, well kind of virtually, but in person.
Speaker 1: We got Yon Nelly Ivy League educated, the Humble hot
Speaker 1: Shot from Brooklyn, New York.
Speaker 2: Intro.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I went, Maybe because George Foreman
Speaker 1: just passed. So I was channeling like some boxing energy.
Speaker 1: Rip you're not mad at him dying, well.
Speaker 2: Not mad at the energy.
Speaker 1: And also something okay, gotcha rip to the girl master
Speaker 1: of all girl masters. He really did his big one
Speaker 1: for like college students circa two thousand.
Speaker 2: And every book out and every barbecue and every black
Speaker 2: party in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can make two paninis at a time. But
Speaker 1: you know, oh man, I inherited my parents, George Foreman, Griddle.
Speaker 1: I think they had like other things than just like
Speaker 1: the press. The Michael Scott, you know, the one that
Speaker 1: I forgot to introduce Chris and Chris.
Speaker 3: I was like, at some point I'll get introduced. I
Speaker 3: wasn't going to rush it, but I was like the
Speaker 3: riddle speaking.
Speaker 1: Of Brown University, where our Ivy League Humble Hot Shot
Speaker 1: attended college. We're also joined by Chris Brown NG look
Speaker 1: at that brown ambition.
Speaker 4: I don't I to tell people my family is the
Speaker 4: huge donor, say university, but we get you changing up
Speaker 4: a little bit that way. They don't know directly that
Speaker 4: it's my family.
Speaker 3: But you know that's right.
Speaker 1: Listen, clown college. You no, that's like a triple brown
Speaker 1: brown ambition, Brown University. Yes, brown.
Speaker 2: We only brought a brown university because I'm drinking from
Speaker 2: my little college cup. And I was like, hold on,
Speaker 2: now they're not paying me to promote it, so let
Speaker 2: me cover it. But now we're promoting them anyway, so.
Speaker 1: I mean half her back. Maybe they can pay you
Speaker 1: to speak, and then it's all symbiotic. It's all connected,
Speaker 1: you know what.
Speaker 2: Actually I should have put that as my brown boost.
Speaker 2: But they did buy a bunch of my books and
Speaker 2: create an intro to personal financial literacy and the markets
Speaker 2: for freshman seminar.
Speaker 1: Yeh, nelly, that's kind of cool.
Speaker 2: Oh but seriously, I was literally in tears. I was like, wait,
Speaker 2: hold up, my book is all the sentiments.
Speaker 1: When are you gonna get your own library? When's that
Speaker 1: going to happen?
Speaker 2: I have to figure that out.
Speaker 1: But got state schools, all right, So what's happening in
Speaker 1: the world. We mentioned George Foreman passed away. Why am
Speaker 1: I seeing Jonathan Major's face all over my feet everywhere
Speaker 1: I live?
Speaker 2: Girl? Because Meghan Goood is because Meghan Good is a
Speaker 2: you know is what is? She just like doubly famous.
Speaker 2: I just feel like there was a moment where people
Speaker 2: were kind of like upset and like over him, didn't
Speaker 2: want and then Meghan bought him back.
Speaker 1: I just because what She's America's black sweetheart and now
Speaker 1: he gets to benefit.
Speaker 2: She was scared for her. I feel like she was
Speaker 2: everybody's nineties like dreamgirl, even mine.
Speaker 1: I mean, and it is still is Megan When her
Speaker 1: and bow Wow did that one movie with skating, what
Speaker 1: was it they were skating? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Anyway, it's making good, I mean, but they do seem happy.
Speaker 2: And I know this controversy around him and his violent
Speaker 2: passed and domestic issues.
Speaker 1: With everybody and every celebrity couple seems happy, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I guess a little bit that
Speaker 2: I have seen. But then again, I'm a hater because
Speaker 2: I didn't like Rihanna with ASAP, So I don't know.
Speaker 1: But oh what an a SAP do?
Speaker 3: What do you do?
Speaker 2: He just had some he had some ignorant interviews in
Speaker 2: the past that I had seen, and I just wouldn't
Speaker 2: let him go where he said some very misogynistic shit.
Speaker 2: But you know what, maybe that was his eighteen nineteen
Speaker 2: year old self. I don't know, but I just initially
Speaker 2: when I heard the news, I was like, come on,
Speaker 2: she can do way better. But then everybody in my
Speaker 2: family was like, leave alone. She's happy, you're hating, And so.
Speaker 1: I know, I think we do. We care. We love Rihanna,
Speaker 1: and we love making goods so much that you just
Speaker 1: want it to be good on that.
Speaker 2: Perfect man because they're the perfect women, so they need
Speaker 2: perfect men. I don't know, that's just me. I just like,
Speaker 2: come on, ladies, like we.
Speaker 1: Need What do you think about Jonathan Majors. Does someone
Speaker 1: like Chris as a because I know as a female,
Speaker 1: I'm just like dead dead it dead it Yeah, And
Speaker 1: and he does. It's more than rumor. It's it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, there's been leaked audio, there's been footage, like
Speaker 1: you know he was arrested, yes, yeah, so, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm wondering Chris, like do you think about that? Or
Speaker 1: you would you pay for a Jonathan Major's movie ticket.
Speaker 4: You know, well, first of all, violence to gets women
Speaker 4: by man never okay, So let me just throw that
Speaker 4: out there.
Speaker 3: You can never do that. That's what my dad thought me.
Speaker 3: Correct its coming up, that's just you don't do that.
Speaker 3: You never do that.
Speaker 4: But after that came out, I was like, you know,
Speaker 4: I can't support this. So, you know, is he a
Speaker 4: good actor, yes, but I mean there's a lot of
Speaker 4: other good actors and there's always an option to choose
Speaker 4: what you want to go watch and who you want
Speaker 4: to support. So to me, I'm like, hey, it's not
Speaker 4: that hard to be like, you know what, I'm good.
Speaker 4: I don't need to go see him in the movie
Speaker 4: right now. But I think he's in the news because
Speaker 4: he has I think his movie, which I thought was
Speaker 4: an old movie, but it was like coming out and
Speaker 4: that's why.
Speaker 1: It was old because they couldn't release it because that's
Speaker 1: when he was arrested and that's why they delayed it.
Speaker 1: So now so a couple of years later, they're like,
Speaker 1: is it is it safe now? Can we poke our
Speaker 1: heads out?
Speaker 2: Did people forget? Is it old news?
Speaker 3: That's that's it, and that's when they intern it. Has
Speaker 3: a short memory.
Speaker 4: It kind of get throw like, you know, pushing under
Speaker 4: the rug and then people are just gonna come back
Speaker 4: out and see if they're okay again.
Speaker 1: That's right, Honestly. I also think it has to do
Speaker 1: with the level of talent of the person, like and
Speaker 1: how much like I do think Jonathan Major's he, I mean,
Speaker 1: objectively speaking, an incredible actor, you know, so intense on
Speaker 1: the screen like he and I can see like the
Speaker 1: how his career was just like taking off and taking off,
Speaker 1: and I feel like in it on a time where
Speaker 1: we have so few. I mean, there's some like incredible
Speaker 1: blackmail actors, but we just lost chap Chapwick, those men,
Speaker 1: it feels like just yesterday, and you know, you don't
Speaker 1: want to see one of the few go down like that.
Speaker 1: But I do feel like if they're really really talented,
Speaker 1: I mean, Chris Brown is still selling out shows.
Speaker 4: That's what I understanding, Because one, he messed up my
Speaker 4: name years ago, because I think we're Almos sage my
Speaker 4: entire life, He's messed up my name and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, how is he back famous again? I thought he
Speaker 3: was dead.
Speaker 1: I thought, Wow, Chris Brown's that old, Yes.
Speaker 2: Don't you remember when he came out and he was like,
Speaker 2: I'm just fifteen? Is not that one of his lyrics?
Speaker 1: I don't even I don't ever go looking for him,
Speaker 1: so I don't know what he looks like anymore.
Speaker 2: He was a baby when he came out at fifteen.
Speaker 2: So yes, even if it's been twenty years, the man
Speaker 2: is still making music because he started so young.
Speaker 1: Heyh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: There you go. He started at fifteen twenty years that
Speaker 2: was right, But it's so true. I do think, honestly,
Speaker 2: when I'm talking to a lot of people in my experience,
Speaker 2: which is obviously very anecdotal, a lot of the younger
Speaker 2: I want to I want to say generation. Younger girls
Speaker 2: in particular concerned me because they overlook a lot of
Speaker 2: the stuff around Chris Brown and make excuses and say,
Speaker 2: oh no, but but but but, like he's twenty twenty three,
Speaker 2: twenty up to twenty five, twenty six years old girls,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, why are you still on Kris Brown
Speaker 2: like that, going to his concerts, doing all this and
Speaker 2: his music? Oh no, no, I love Chris Brown. I
Speaker 2: don't know. And it's like, okay, is it a generational thing?
Speaker 2: I'm not really sure what it is, but I mean,
Speaker 2: we'll make excuses out the wall zoof of this man.
Speaker 2: So I I, you know, it's just an observation that
Speaker 2: I have noted.
Speaker 4: I thow time, right, because like he if you're if
Speaker 4: you're young enough, right, that happened when they were probably
Speaker 4: even like maybe not even live or a little baby.
Speaker 4: It's kind of like a grade.
Speaker 2: Third grade, righte Wahlberg.
Speaker 4: He just some crazy stuff, but happens so long ago.
Speaker 4: People are just like, you know, they don't think about
Speaker 4: it anymore.
Speaker 1: So voided out. Probably, I just feel like what Jonathan what?
Speaker 1: What bothers me the most is his like he's he's
Speaker 1: almost adopted this persona of like some kind of like
Speaker 1: I don't know, reform Yogi master. Like he's just like
Speaker 1: so he's like this forced again. I keep going back
Speaker 1: to the quote that came out from that trial where
Speaker 1: he had told his girlfriend she needed to be like
Speaker 1: the credit to his MLK, to his Martin Luther King junior,
Speaker 1: and be that level of poise and stature. And I
Speaker 1: see he's like putting on that show as he is
Speaker 1: this like dignified you know, actor, this this this dignified
Speaker 1: you know, performer and creator and it just comes off
Speaker 1: so forced and so it's so much bullshit. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't feel any humility, you know, I don't feel
Speaker 1: the wow I hit rock bottom, I begged I I
Speaker 1: you know, it's like Harry said to Voldemort, like try
Speaker 1: for some remorse home skillet, like before you know, I
Speaker 1: eat that wand out of your hand, and your own
Speaker 1: rebounding death curse kills you like I need him. I
Speaker 1: think redemption, the path to redemption is painful. It should
Speaker 1: be painful. There should be remorse, there should be statements,
Speaker 1: there should be work, active work. He has an opportunity
Speaker 1: to rehabilitate himself publicly and to actually be an incredible
Speaker 1: example for other men who have chosen violence and have
Speaker 1: not have not healed them healed their inner demons, and
Speaker 1: and you know, and he has an opportunity to do that.
Speaker 1: And I feel like until I see that level of
Speaker 1: humility and grace like in the meantime.
Speaker 2: Though, I mean, or really any level, because I.
Speaker 1: Will be clicking away.
Speaker 2: Didn't it just get swept onto the rug? Like I
Speaker 2: don't think he has.
Speaker 1: I'm engaged now, yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2: Crying on whatever show to tell you how she means
Speaker 2: so much to me, and it's like, wait, did you
Speaker 2: just get a whole? What happened in between? It was
Speaker 2: like nothing there was. They just swept it under the rug,
Speaker 2: I feel like, and it wasn't really addressed, at least
Speaker 2: not by him and his pr folks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, thank you. I need an apology tour. I
Speaker 1: need a good one. What else is happening? Can we can?
Speaker 1: I confess something? Girl?
Speaker 2: Go?
Speaker 1: I want to confess us. What am I gonna do
Speaker 1: about my Tesla? Y'all? What am I going to do?
Speaker 1: I feel like such a fucking clown.
Speaker 2: I meant it before.
Speaker 1: I was literally thinking about that on the ride. I'm like,
Speaker 1: is there a bumper sticker I could put on this
Speaker 1: car before you before you slash my tires?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 3: Please?
Speaker 1: It's paid off. I've had it since twenty twenty one?
Speaker 2: Like, please? Is U?
Speaker 4: Did you see the thing where? I think it's a
Speaker 4: company called Polestar They do the other electric car. I
Speaker 4: think they're under Volkswagon or Vobo. I forgot the company that,
Speaker 4: but they're offering incentives for people to trade in their
Speaker 4: Tesla's if they want to come over.
Speaker 1: I need one of those. I need Rivian I would
Speaker 1: love a Rivian because, you know, like I feel like
Speaker 1: Rivian is now the progressive. I feel like brands are
Speaker 1: so politicized now.
Speaker 2: Totally benefiting from Tesla's downfall, totally exactly. You know, my
Speaker 2: boyfriend's brother works at let me not play his business all.
Speaker 2: He does work at Rivan though, But it's so funny, girl.
Speaker 2: I'll look you what if you want to make it happen,
Speaker 2: I got you.
Speaker 1: I would, I would g I will publicly, like you know,
Speaker 1: put my car, put the Tesla in like one of
Speaker 1: those machine like metal shredders. I'll do whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: like for to do a stunt like that to get
Speaker 1: a different car, because I I feel gross. I feel
Speaker 1: gross riding around in that.
Speaker 2: You definitely need a ghost machine. Go to a black
Speaker 2: owned business that does like custom stickers and get one
Speaker 2: that says I bought this before Elon went crazy, and
Speaker 2: then you're supporting a black owned business. Is creative business
Speaker 2: and making sure people know your position, covering yourself because.
Speaker 1: I don't want to just get rid of the whole
Speaker 1: thing now, but but at scene.
Speaker 2: Time, while you're in you need something to let people know.
Speaker 2: Putting nothing on your Tesla and just leaving it parked
Speaker 2: outside in New York City is dangerous.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just wanted to make it look like that,
Speaker 4: like it's a niece, like a Nissan and logo to
Speaker 4: be like alt or something like that.
Speaker 1: That's kind of funny.
Speaker 2: I would let them slide on that. That's kind of funny.
Speaker 2: They doing something, you know, as opposed to literally doing
Speaker 2: nothing where you don't have any stickers. You don't you
Speaker 2: act like, oh, there's nothing. That to me is a
Speaker 2: little bizarre because now you just don't think there's anything wrong.
Speaker 1: I feel like people. I can feel the parents drop
Speaker 1: at kids school pickup and drop off. I can feel
Speaker 1: other drivers looking in the car to see who's driving it.
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, I'm a black woman. I must say, like,
Speaker 1: I know it's incongruous, like I would explain it to you,
Speaker 1: but I don't have time and like just to see
Speaker 1: the like, oh, I'm gonna get a sticker, all right,
Speaker 1: but what's this pollstar? People like what kind of car
Speaker 1: is that?
Speaker 2: What am I gonna be talking about it? But look,
Speaker 2: I don't know is it evy? You gotta say yes,
Speaker 2: you have to go test driving versus a rivie because
Speaker 2: otherwise you won't know right, like you just gotta go
Speaker 2: test driver. But everyone is talking about full Star, like
Speaker 2: this is the one I want that Montesla. I've seen
Speaker 2: that a couple different, in particular black women, black women
Speaker 2: that I'm friends with, who have posted that.
Speaker 1: Okayy want to help the other black woman who's your friend.
Speaker 2: She's a doctor too, so you know, trying. She's trying
Speaker 2: to not look like she pulls up to the hospital
Speaker 2: and Tesla.
Speaker 1: Wait, well, I'm thinking about our listeners real quick, and
Speaker 1: which I always do, but y'all need to be leaving
Speaker 1: some reviews please. Just as a reminder, I would love
Speaker 1: y'all to go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review
Speaker 1: for the show because it's been quiet over there and
Speaker 1: I feel like I should probably read one out loud
Speaker 1: because when we used to read reviews out loud, people
Speaker 1: will be like, oh, well, we get my review read.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to pull up a review because do it.
Speaker 2: It's true, honestly, you know what it is a lot
Speaker 2: of your loyal, loyal, loyal fans who come back Timetime
Speaker 2: again have probably left reviews in the past. But it's
Speaker 2: okay to post if you updated and want to just
Speaker 2: say I've been rocking with the pod since back in
Speaker 2: twenty seventeen, twenty sixteen, because those are those types of
Speaker 2: comments really really make a difference to review algorithms.
Speaker 1: My goal is to be like the Awkward Black Girl
Speaker 1: YouTube channel of podcasts, you know how, like everyone likes
Speaker 1: to tell Lisa like, I've been down with you since
Speaker 1: the ABG days. Yes, like I know, so let me
Speaker 1: let you know, let me know how long you've been
Speaker 1: riding with BA when you leave that review, Well, here's
Speaker 1: a sweet one, all right. This is from Natural End
Speaker 1: to Issan, Oh Natural Intuition. She said. I love the
Speaker 1: new picture. Thank you, She says, Mandy, you have transition
Speaker 1: with grace. I love the new I love the new
Speaker 1: new of the podcast and can't wait to keep listening.
Speaker 2: I love the see girl they rocking with you. They
Speaker 2: really are. And I will say I agree with that.
Speaker 2: It is not easy to just keep it going and
Speaker 2: act like everything's all good when you know you feel
Speaker 2: like your other half and like the whole show's as
Speaker 2: totally different vibe. But you've really done it gracefully, I
Speaker 2: gotta say. And you just brought so much like fun,
Speaker 2: creative energy coming up with new ideas, trying things, not
Speaker 2: being afraid to try things. Like girl, I mean, I
Speaker 2: know Brown Ambition is your baby, but you have really
Speaker 2: really transitioned it nice. Yeah, we'll say, yeah, you really have.
Speaker 3: Maddie is so creative, but I'm gonna be nice to you.
Speaker 4: So you say you feel real bad when you, you know,
Speaker 4: inevitably insult me.
Speaker 3: Later on this episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, eventually I might feel bad. Keep trying.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's so creative, so many great ideas. You
Speaker 4: work so hard, So I'm very proud of you and
Speaker 4: all the all the work you've transition.
Speaker 3: That's hard to change things up like that.
Speaker 1: Thank you, And I'm just so relieved. 'all don't even know.
Speaker 1: I've been editing the show myself for the past few
Speaker 1: months while I've been in between like working on this
Speaker 1: network situation and like figuring out this new format. It's
Speaker 1: been so much the level of stress. Plus my book.
Speaker 1: Oh girl, I can't exactly like you know how you're
Speaker 1: just like in it and you can't exactly you can't
Speaker 1: zoom out because if you zoom out, you'll just self
Speaker 1: combust literally implode. But it was all this stuff and
Speaker 1: then I've had like three big book deadlines where I've
Speaker 1: had to submit multiple chapters. I have another one tomorrow
Speaker 1: and at the same time, and the podcast being brand new.
Speaker 1: It's been but at the same time, it's like it's
Speaker 1: so exciting. These are blessings. I don't want to complain,
Speaker 1: but it is. I said twenty twenty five smelled like money.
Speaker 1: I said that when the New Year changed over. I
Speaker 1: was like, it really just smells, just smells like money.
Speaker 2: So far to ask you, you girl, how did you do it,
Speaker 2: and you're gonna be like, I don't know. I don't
Speaker 2: even remember. I don't even know how I did it.
Speaker 2: I just did it, and I just kept going like
Speaker 2: that I'll.
Speaker 1: Have something to tell them four am wake up calls,
Speaker 1: don't get enough sleep. I think sometimes you have to
Speaker 1: be like I don't. There's no like productivity hack. Sometimes
Speaker 1: the hack is you work your ass off and you
Speaker 1: know that you can't sustain it at that level. I
Speaker 1: know I wasn't gonna be able to edit the show forever.
Speaker 1: I didn't fool myself to think that, but I knew
Speaker 1: for the interim, like this is a temporary thing. I'm
Speaker 1: going to find an editor with all my free time,
Speaker 1: and I finally did and like, now that's off my plate.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Carla and Courtney Black owned Latina after
Speaker 1: Latina owned editing company. So very excited that, you know
Speaker 1: my sister speaking in which I visited my sister in Wisconsin.
Speaker 1: She's doing so much better. Be a faan I might
Speaker 1: have shared a little bit. My sister donated a kidney.
Speaker 1: She's a living donor, a god angel on earth, and
Speaker 1: for all of her trouble, she ended up with a
Speaker 1: very rare like complication. So for anyone who's thinking about
Speaker 1: organ donation, Like I mean, already we knew it was
Speaker 1: a serious surgery, but it's obviously quite common common ish.
Speaker 1: So anyway, you really hoped, you know, the surgeon had
Speaker 1: done like a gajillion of them, so you hope that
Speaker 1: it's just going to be textbook. But she had a
Speaker 1: rare complication which caused her like severe, severe, like agonizing
Speaker 1: nerve pain, which is it's the y'all y'all have experience
Speaker 1: with like anyone who's ever had like a nerve pain condition,
Speaker 1: chronic pain. But it's the worst thing about it is
Speaker 1: the way that doctors don't really know how to treat it,
Speaker 1: except for with really strong opioids, Like I mean, she
Speaker 1: left the hospital with mad she left the hospital with
Speaker 1: oxy with fentanyl patch. She had been on ketamine, like
Speaker 1: there is dilouded. There's like these really strong and they're like,
Speaker 1: we don't give these medicines to people who aren't dying
Speaker 1: of cancer. Like that's how painful it was. But thank
Speaker 1: the Lord. I mean, it took way too long. It's
Speaker 1: been over two months, but she was able to finally
Speaker 1: get some treatment to actually target the nerve that's that's
Speaker 1: been damaged and set. The worst part is that your nerves.
Speaker 1: I mean there's some surgical intervention. Obviously I'm not a neurologist,
Speaker 1: but but for in her case, anyway, it has to
Speaker 1: heal itself, you know, like there's probably not going to
Speaker 1: be oh, if we just go in and put this
Speaker 1: band aid there, you know whatever, that's not what they
Speaker 1: would do. But you know what I mean, Like so,
Speaker 1: but she was out of work, you know, and my
Speaker 1: heart goes Plus what the medication she was on, Like
Speaker 1: I said, Mallory, don't be telling anybody. By the way,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't probably have said how many. But she doesn't
Speaker 1: have them anymore. She's off of the really heavy ones,
Speaker 1: which is part of the good thing. But it's so
Speaker 1: hard to treat chronic pain. And then she burned through
Speaker 1: her sick leave, burned through the FMLA even Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: really tough.
Speaker 2: At that point.
Speaker 3: That's so hard. Yeah, how's she doing now? Like percentage wise?
Speaker 3: Where is she yet? Getting back to normal?
Speaker 1: Honestly? Every day? I mean I was there for four
Speaker 1: days and I think we had two good days and
Speaker 1: two not so good days. And it really depends on
Speaker 1: if she can stay on top of the pain with
Speaker 1: her medication. So is she taking it at the right times,
Speaker 1: And sometimes you're sleepy and you miss a dose or
Speaker 1: you're late with something, and then the pain it's hard
Speaker 1: to catch up with the pain medication at that point.
Speaker 1: And then also she is my mother's daughter, as am I,
Speaker 1: and we have a hard time. Actually, I'm really good
Speaker 1: at taking a rest. These two though they on some
Speaker 1: other ish they cannot sit still. They want to be
Speaker 1: cooking and going out and about and cleaning dishes and
Speaker 1: folding shit. And I'm just like you guys, I'm laid
Speaker 1: up on the couch because whenever my mom is around,
Speaker 1: I'm fully fifteen again in my head. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm mom, dear, and so yeah, so she
Speaker 1: she you know, would do a little too much and
Speaker 1: then it would be a tough day.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's hard. Some people though, like they're just
Speaker 2: wired that way. Like my oldest sister. There's nine siblings
Speaker 2: in my family, and the oldest sister, the firstborn, she
Speaker 2: is like she's like your sister and your mom. She
Speaker 2: just cannot sit and rest. I mean, she just it
Speaker 2: like it pains her to not be to not feel
Speaker 2: productive in whatever way, whether she's doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, dusting,
Speaker 2: something out in her garden doing stuff. Was like, girl,
Speaker 2: what like she has a garden. She lives in New
Speaker 2: York City, and she has a garden in her yard
Speaker 2: so that she can constantly be doing you know, because otherwise, Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like mentally, I think she feels drained when she's not
Speaker 2: quote unquote productive. But that is just it takes a time.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. She feels drained by not doing something mentally
Speaker 1: right mentally because that's the thing, right, Like, eventually the
Speaker 1: draining switches over from your being mentally drained to now
Speaker 1: physically your body's literally telling you.
Speaker 2: You need to stop you need to chill. And then
Speaker 2: eventually when it gets to that point, it's like it's
Speaker 2: it's a little late. No, it's never too late. But
Speaker 2: of course it's late because you've been constantly pushing yourself
Speaker 2: past the point of that is reasonable. But yeaht one point,
Speaker 2: she she turned some which way. I don't even remember
Speaker 2: what happened, but her ankle. She was just literally walking
Speaker 2: and then turned around in the wrong direction or in
Speaker 2: the wrong way on her foot and had to stop
Speaker 2: and actually like go, she had to what happens, She
Speaker 2: had to get a brace on her foot.
Speaker 1: Get injured, and then you finally forced to sit.
Speaker 2: Down exactly exactly. So, either you choose to rest or
Speaker 2: your body's gonna force you to rest.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 4: That's why I prayably rest. I love not doing anything.
Speaker 4: Give me, give me a sake, and give me a chair.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go sit in it. I'm good.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You've been going to the gym, You've been getting your
Speaker 1: little steps in on them hills.
Speaker 3: I had to be doing. I do like a good walk,
Speaker 3: but I also please let me sit down. I rest.
Speaker 3: Rest are best friends. I love it.
Speaker 1: I'm really good at just being a couch like decoration,
Speaker 1: couch trotting as they say. You know what, I realized
Speaker 1: I'm not very good at sitting in silence though, because
Speaker 1: my sister's house is so quiet, like there's no like
Speaker 1: TV on. Listen, listen and shout out to my Wisconsin people.
Speaker 1: My mom is always like, you don't you don't love
Speaker 1: your Wisconsin heritage. I'm like mommy the way that when
Speaker 1: I went I landed, she lives like in a tiny
Speaker 1: town in Wisconsin too, shout out to Lacrosse and we
Speaker 1: when I landed in the teenious plane, ever, we went
Speaker 1: straight to the grocery store because again mom and sister,
Speaker 1: we don't cook something. And I had took this video.
Speaker 1: I was, y'all, y'all don't understand the number of ways
Speaker 1: Wisconsin people know how to make a salad. And not
Speaker 1: like a green salad. I'm talking mayo or some sort
Speaker 1: of like creamy substance, maybe a sour cream macaroni salad,
Speaker 1: pistachio salad. Jello and the jello. The jello I'm going
Speaker 1: to show you guys after this, Like the there was
Speaker 1: literally like gourmet perfect cubes of jello, just gallons of them,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, people just show up and buy this
Speaker 1: much jello.
Speaker 3: Because I'm trying to picture what that is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so like your salad in Wisconsin's usually a mix
Speaker 1: of like mayonnaise is the ideal, maybe sour cream, you know,
Speaker 1: or some kind of yeah aoli situation, but probably mayonnaise.
Speaker 1: And then the fluffs are made if I'm remembering correctly,
Speaker 1: with like maybe maybe like a whipped cream because it's fluffy.
Speaker 1: So like at Christmas, my mom my grandma would make
Speaker 1: cranberry fluff, which would be like a mix of like
Speaker 1: cranberry sauce and whipped cream. I think whipped up. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm not endorsing it. I'm just saying there's a culture
Speaker 1: y'all want to put. There's a culture in Wisconsin, and
Speaker 1: that is it. It is the culture of fluffs and
Speaker 1: mayonnaise salads, deli salads.
Speaker 2: If they put it on something like like like you know,
Speaker 2: like flying or like a cheesecake with fluff on top
Speaker 2: or something, but why they just eating the fluff.
Speaker 1: It is the dish, see that I can't. I don't
Speaker 1: have a little dollipup fluff on your plate, on your
Speaker 1: plate heritage fork spoon, Oh, you mean, like, what do
Speaker 1: you what is it pair well with.
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm why do you think that it has
Speaker 1: different notes? The notes of the the cranberry fluff crisp
Speaker 1: pairs really well with the orange jello. I would uh,
Speaker 1: the orange jello and the shape of a cube, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that would pair well with it. Also, maybe a broccoli salad,
Speaker 1: you know, extra creamy would pair nicely with a fluff.
Speaker 1: And you know you wash it down with some like
Speaker 1: German or Irish beer, a Guinness. I don't know, bloom,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Whether you're going further and further away from where my
Speaker 2: mind and stomach want to be.
Speaker 1: And cheese curds. Just throw some cheese curds on top.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 4: Question like is it just like yeah, people's stomachs just
Speaker 4: like upset all the time.
Speaker 1: Yes, First of all, I'm dairy free. It's yes. The number. Yes,
Speaker 1: there were many jokes about how everyone had to take
Speaker 1: some time with the porcelain God after certain meals. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but what am I gonna say?
Speaker 2: I'm looking this up and you're right, they got.
Speaker 1: Of course, I'm right. It's my heritage. I am a
Speaker 1: cultural ambassador for Wisconsin.
Speaker 2: Pineapples with marshmallows and pistachia pudding.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my mom always told me don't say yuck to
Speaker 2: food because you don't want somebody's young, or you know, offensive,
Speaker 2: somebody you don't want to or whatever. But at the
Speaker 2: same time, whatever.
Speaker 1: Dominican moms are so shady and get out of here.
Speaker 2: Girl. The stuff my mom be cooking, I know she
Speaker 2: ain't talking, really, I know, I think. I think it's
Speaker 2: Chitlin's chills, mondongle, mondongle.
Speaker 1: It's very different than you have. I'm sorry Christ's blushing.
Speaker 1: I didn't know a top of a bald head could blush. Here.
Speaker 1: I sent you a forty It took me forty six
Speaker 1: seconds to film the number of salads up seafood salad
Speaker 1: with imitation crabs we have. Look at the Just wait
Speaker 1: till you see the jello. It'll come through finger. They
Speaker 1: call it finger jello.
Speaker 2: Is that what it is?
Speaker 1: You'll have to look probably two. This is like a
Speaker 1: two finger jello. They make a healthy porsche. Okay, some
Speaker 1: kind of macaroni salad. The jello took me out. Potato salad.
Speaker 1: Wait till you see the ham spread. Wait until you
Speaker 1: see the ham salad.
Speaker 2: Like lego blocks, all jello blocks, chicken rotisserie salad, Cashi
Speaker 2: broccoli salad.
Speaker 1: You know what I actually do, fuck with broccoli salad.
Speaker 1: It's actually delicious if you don't over mao it look
Speaker 1: at you Ellie's.
Speaker 2: Face spread ham spread sounds and looks.
Speaker 1: Bacon ranch salad, poppy seed chicken salad, bacon cheddar, rotelli
Speaker 1: pasta salad.
Speaker 2: Because it's like half of it is missing off.
Speaker 1: Summer fresh pasta salad of course, tuna salad, the o
Speaker 1: G Macaroni Supreme. And I see peas, some peas in there.
Speaker 2: I told you I don't lie.
Speaker 1: You know, I could have kept going. You learned something today.
Speaker 1: I dedicate you know what. I dedicate this part of
Speaker 1: the show to my grandma. Shout out to Doris Dutton
Speaker 1: uh nay Ninimon from Brown Deer, Wisconsin. Shout out to
Speaker 1: James Dutton, my grandpa, May they rest in peace, and
Speaker 1: my mom, Laurie Dutton. If y'all didn't know, now you
Speaker 1: know that's where I come from. I don't actually was
Speaker 1: born in Georgia, born and bred around Atlanta, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I do have my Wisconsin roots.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was to say we're Wisconsin roots, because I
Speaker 2: thought you were from Atlanta.
Speaker 1: But my mom is from Wisconsin. She moved out. She's
Speaker 1: a break lady. She moved from She. I grew up
Speaker 1: Irish Catholic, you know, family of five. Mom was a
Speaker 1: school teacher, dad was a brick mason. Then at like eighteen,
Speaker 1: her and her best friend were like, let's go to Atlanta.
Speaker 1: It seems hot, seems popping down there. I don't know
Speaker 1: where they got their news at the time, so they
Speaker 1: hop in the car. They don't go to college. They
Speaker 1: move to Atlanta. They get jobs as waiters. She meets
Speaker 1: my dad at an ihop. They're both waiters. I was
Speaker 1: going to get into some of my brown boosts a
Speaker 1: little bit, but I'll do it now. But like having
Speaker 1: to be I always felt this need to be sparkly
Speaker 1: and fun and charming and successful and talented to warrant
Speaker 1: my space in that family, like that side of the family,
Speaker 1: because I feel like it was stories like that that
Speaker 1: I was told from starting getting real deep. We went
Speaker 1: from like finger jello to racial trauma. But but like, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: I thought, really and the bar in real life was
Speaker 1: so low it was cranberry fluff and I was trying
Speaker 1: to be Michelin star, you know what I mean, to
Speaker 1: have a seat at that table. Really didn't need to
Speaker 1: try that hard, but I yeah, I did. I from
Speaker 1: a young age, I like I was so out of
Speaker 1: felt so out of place on that side of the
Speaker 1: family that I did think that in order to like
Speaker 1: be accepted, it had to be exceptional. And that probably
Speaker 1: came from them like looking.
Speaker 2: At me, like you'll never be good enough?
Speaker 1: Like who that black baby?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: Where's my pretty white bait?
Speaker 2: They gave you that vibe if you'll never be good enough?
Speaker 2: You didn't come from nowhere. You didn't You didn't come
Speaker 2: into your head out of nowhere, right, that's yeah. Fact? Okay, girl,
Speaker 2: Well you know I couldn't help it, but look it
Speaker 2: up and there's so many interesting things here. Flutter nutter.
Speaker 2: The sandwich was made made of marshmallow, marshmallow and peanut butter.
Speaker 2: Peanut butter, Yeah, that's delicious.
Speaker 1: Though you ever tried a peanut butter fluffed sandwich? Delicious?
Speaker 2: Okay? Now that one is eating in wisconstant, But it
Speaker 2: didn't come from it comes from the New England areas
Speaker 2: of Massachusetts is where it started in the nineteen hundreds,
Speaker 2: and then you got Watergate salad. What pistachio pudding whipped
Speaker 2: topping in canned pineapple is called a watergate salad?
Speaker 1: My grandma does did and what is it called pistachio?
Speaker 1: We I don't know what. Why is the pistachio so popular?
Speaker 1: But there is a pistachio pudding dessert that we do
Speaker 1: and we tear it up. It's neon green. Its delicious.
Speaker 4: I'm looking at it now. Can you tell me why
Speaker 4: there's cherries on top of this? Those little marachino cherries?
Speaker 4: Why is that on this?
Speaker 1: This not too much on my people?
Speaker 3: Y'all?
Speaker 1: Hey, all right, we're gonna take a quick break, ba fam.
Speaker 1: I hope that you weren't eating while you were listening
Speaker 1: to this. We might have made you regret that choice.
Speaker 1: And if you're hungry, then maybe you should see your
Speaker 1: pastor about that, or your spiritual guid guiter, your spiritual
Speaker 1: guide to find out why. Be right back with our
Speaker 1: brown booth Brown Break see you then? All right, we're back,
Speaker 1: ba fam. I am joined by yan nellispinal In Chris Browning,
Speaker 1: and we are going to do Brown Boost Brown Break.
Speaker 1: Are you guys ready? You know what you're gonna do,
Speaker 1: boost or break.
Speaker 3: I am ready watergate salad.
Speaker 1: Should we let Cris go first?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Do it anything? I was ready? What would I
Speaker 3: get for?
Speaker 1: You're never ready? All right, y'all? Ellick, you can go first, girl,
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 2: I'll go first. My brown break is that I noticed
Speaker 2: a lot of the youngins in my family. They don't
Speaker 2: want to use real banks. They've been hitting me up
Speaker 2: like oh the young yeah, like the the nineteen to
Speaker 2: twenty four to twenty five. They think cash Up is
Speaker 2: the bank. Like they set up their direct deposit into
Speaker 2: their cash app. They have a cash app card, and
Speaker 2: they think that they're banking, and I'm like, wait minute,
Speaker 2: Like that's if anything were to happen to cash Is
Speaker 2: that FDAC in shirt. It's not FDIC shirt. Now, there's
Speaker 2: a loophole where if you if you follow like three
Speaker 2: steps or four steps, like if you set up direct deposit,
Speaker 2: you get the cash up card. You do you have
Speaker 2: a deposit of a minimum a certain amount every two
Speaker 2: weeks or whatever. Then you get what's called passed through
Speaker 2: FDIC insurance coverage through their partner bank. So it's not
Speaker 2: because they are not a charter bank. Cash at Venmo.
Speaker 2: They can't they PayPal, they can't give you FSC insurance
Speaker 2: because they're not chartered banks, but they can pass through
Speaker 2: the insurance of the bank that they're partnering with. They
Speaker 2: hold your money while they show you the interface of
Speaker 2: the tech. So I try to explain that to my
Speaker 2: nieces and to my brother, my younger brother, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know, and oh no, no, I have passed to FDS.
Speaker 2: It says that on their site, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: but that only protects you from the from the bank
Speaker 2: that's holding the money going under. But there's nothing protecting
Speaker 2: you from like cash up going under or you know,
Speaker 2: or whatever in any case like PayPal or venbo whatever,
Speaker 2: there's no protection around these. So I'm I'm just a
Speaker 2: little nervous now, and I'm curious how wide spread this
Speaker 2: is of, Like, is this a generational thing where these
Speaker 2: younger generations are getting targeted by these apps that are
Speaker 2: basically looking like banks, acting like banks, borderline calling themselves bank,
Speaker 2: but they're not actually banks, y'all. Like we need actual
Speaker 2: depository institutions. You need to go to a credit union,
Speaker 2: you need to go to a community bank, you need
Speaker 2: to go to a regular bank, like you need an
Speaker 2: account that is actually protected and ensured. And I just
Speaker 2: thought that people would get that, especially after like Silicon
Speaker 2: Valley Bank and Signature Bank and some of the bank
Speaker 2: failures from a couple of years ago. But I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think some of these youngins really do think that
Speaker 2: with all the tech, the new kind of cool trendy
Speaker 2: tech stuff, that they're covered or that that's that they
Speaker 2: got what they need because they even you know, giving
Speaker 2: debit cards and things like that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, Benmo does that too. Is that the same thing?
Speaker 1: It's always trying to prompt me for a debit card.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no thing care name.
Speaker 2: They keep sending me notifications and emails and all that.
Speaker 2: So I'm just I'm curious about it. And I want
Speaker 2: to encourage you. If you're listening to this and you
Speaker 2: have a young en in your life, a young person
Speaker 2: that you care about, check in with them. Make sure
Speaker 2: they actually understand that these apps are technology that allows
Speaker 2: you to engage with the money that you have sitting
Speaker 2: in an account at a bank. But they are not banks,
Speaker 2: so you gotta have yeah, whether it's a credit union
Speaker 2: or a bank, accounts up don't be thinking that you're
Speaker 2: banking and you have nothing but a cash app little
Speaker 2: wallet and some cash in there, and don't leave the
Speaker 2: money in the cash app or in the Venmo wallets
Speaker 2: too long.
Speaker 1: You know, they're all doing that. That's probably why they're
Speaker 1: I mean, that's why they're offering debit cards. They're like, well,
Speaker 1: they're people are using it as a bank account anyway, right.
Speaker 2: So we might as well emulate that. But you're not
Speaker 2: getting you know, high yield, you're not.
Speaker 1: Getting I bet those debit cards charge fees too.
Speaker 2: Right, So we gotta I gotta look into that more
Speaker 2: because I was just so afraid of, like how normal
Speaker 2: it was. My little brother like, yeah, I just use
Speaker 2: cash up as my bank. I was like, hold up, bro,
Speaker 2: not miss Beehulples little brother not having an those bank account.
Speaker 2: What's going on here? Like this is not acceptable, bro?
Speaker 2: So anyway, just talk to the young you know, check
Speaker 2: in on them, because unfortunately, I do think these tech
Speaker 2: companies go out of their way to make young people think, hey,
Speaker 2: it looks like a bank, It functions like a bank.
Speaker 2: You know, when I log in, it has a debit card,
Speaker 2: and like it must dollar sign. Yeah, it holds my money,
Speaker 2: it must be a bank. And unfortunately that it's just
Speaker 2: not right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think too, because like the banking
Speaker 4: industry is still even though it's modernized, it's still behind, right,
Speaker 4: Like it's so easy to open up a cash app account, Venmo, PayPal,
Speaker 4: all these sayings, it's so easy, Robinhood, you know, put
Speaker 4: all these accounts on your phone. Where banking really has
Speaker 4: it and modernized that way, and I mean some reasons,
Speaker 4: it's for good reason, you know, the regulations kind of
Speaker 4: make it me a little bit more difficult to open
Speaker 4: up an account. But I mean, I think a lot
Speaker 4: of people don't go to these like online banks where
Speaker 4: it is a little more modernized. You can open it
Speaker 4: up online. You don't got to go to a branch
Speaker 4: and sign a piece of paperwork and all that stuff.
Speaker 3: But I don't think enough people know about it. And
Speaker 3: but they do.
Speaker 4: Everyone knows about cash app and it looks it looks good,
Speaker 4: it's easy to use, and some people just go that
Speaker 4: way without thinking about you know, some other benefits. Like
Speaker 4: you said, but you don't have a savings account really,
Speaker 4: and then some of them do. But it ain't gonna
Speaker 4: be FDIC insured it's this whole nonsense that it the
Speaker 4: younger people kind of are in this weird middle ground.
Speaker 4: This is like the best option of them in their mind.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also it's not it's I don't even blame them.
Speaker 2: I do think they're being targeted. Like when you look
Speaker 2: at the way that cash apps spends their money, they
Speaker 2: have where Megan thee Stallion is teaching you what bitcoin
Speaker 2: is to try to encourage you to go buy bitcoin
Speaker 2: on the cash app platform, and like, come on, now,
Speaker 2: we all know who they're ultimately targeting when they put
Speaker 2: Megan the Stallion in their ads and not tell a swift.
Speaker 2: So I do think that part of it is a
Speaker 2: little bit like we have to hold them accountable because
Speaker 2: they are actively targeting young black and brown consumers who
Speaker 2: are the ones that are the furthest like a way
Speaker 2: to being served properly from banks in the first place.
Speaker 1: And so it's just and already unbanked or under bank.
Speaker 2: Under bank for the most part, right, So it's just giving.
Speaker 2: It's giving problematic a little bit.
Speaker 1: Do you get your paycheck deposited to your cash app?
Speaker 2: Yes, you can see that's yep. And again it looked
Speaker 2: like a bank. It acts like a bank, it must
Speaker 2: be a bank. That's not true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's okay.
Speaker 4: The older generations though, because I worked at bank for years,
Speaker 4: like when I was in college, and the thing is like,
Speaker 4: in I worked in a neighborhood I grew up in.
Speaker 3: It was a poor neighborhood. A lot of people will
Speaker 3: get screw it over by the banks.
Speaker 4: They were getting hit with all these over draft fees,
Speaker 4: they were getting hit with all these other penalties that
Speaker 4: were getting on check systems. So then they wouldn't have
Speaker 4: bank accounts. And so I think already for their probably
Speaker 4: the parents of these kids, they grew up an environment,
Speaker 4: especially if you're in a lower income area, where it's like,
Speaker 4: don't go to the bank.
Speaker 3: The bank is already gonna like it.
Speaker 4: I can't, I can't open account anyway, So it's not
Speaker 4: gonna teach me to go oput an account there. But
Speaker 4: there's these new alternatives that kind of bypass all of that,
Speaker 4: and I feel like it's created a really great environment
Speaker 4: for people to be like, you know what, why even
Speaker 4: go to a bank and deal with that. My family
Speaker 4: and parents that have one anyways, let me go over here.
Speaker 2: This is so much easier that's the fact.
Speaker 1: That's a great point, all right, Chris, what's your boost?
Speaker 3: Like I caught up in your ellis breaks. I wasn't
Speaker 3: even thinking about it anymore, but you.
Speaker 4: Know, I would say my break is my brown break
Speaker 4: is getting sick because I got sick last week.
Speaker 3: Shout out to my niece. Give me all the viruses
Speaker 3: and diseases.
Speaker 1: Flavor did you get this time? Little influenza, little hand,
Speaker 1: foot of mouthcocksacky, terrible word love saying.
Speaker 4: It's just a regular old cold because she I went
Speaker 4: over there because I was I was visiting back.
Speaker 1: Home Corona with my brother.
Speaker 4: Her nose was running the entire time, just a little
Speaker 4: snap out that nose. And I know she got me.
Speaker 4: You know, she's all cute, but at some point she
Speaker 4: I'm sure she sneezed in my eye or something.
Speaker 3: Then and now, if you.
Speaker 1: Started eating your lunch because you didn't want to eat
Speaker 1: it in the first half of the show because we
Speaker 1: were talking about too many salads and you started right now,
Speaker 1: I'm also sorry.
Speaker 2: People are gonna end the episode just nauseous. That's what's
Speaker 2: gonna do you have.
Speaker 1: A go to cold remedy? What do you do? Dudes
Speaker 1: have the funniest things they do when they're sick to
Speaker 1: get better.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, just rest it out.
Speaker 4: That's all I do. I did nothing, rested out. Give
Speaker 4: me some vitamin see and drip some tea. I have
Speaker 4: eat about three bags worth the cough drops. Then you know,
Speaker 4: at some point and you start feeling bad.
Speaker 2: Bags just three.
Speaker 1: I had a friend who said he just drank gallon
Speaker 1: after gallon of water to flush it out. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're gonna unsalinate your blood and your fluids and and
Speaker 1: in the hospital.
Speaker 2: People better talk a lot about dehydration, but there is
Speaker 2: such thing as overhydrating. Chill out, chill out.
Speaker 3: Now, you can sweat it out. You have sweat it
Speaker 3: all out. Yeah, take a bunch of naps and then
Speaker 3: you know. It took me about a week.
Speaker 1: Speaking of that. I don't know. For some reason when
Speaker 1: you said sweat it out, I started thinking about my
Speaker 1: brain moves really fast. It was like hot yoga, yoga, meditation.
Speaker 1: I'm doing a sound bath tomorrow. I'm very excited about that.
Speaker 1: You never tried one, Chris.
Speaker 2: You would like it, Chris, you would like it. I've
Speaker 2: done a few of them, and especially since I moved
Speaker 2: to Miami, they do a lot of them down by
Speaker 2: the beach, which is so beautiful. Every chance I get,
Speaker 2: I'll go on. It is so nice. So Mandy, where
Speaker 2: are you doing?
Speaker 1: This?
Speaker 2: Is it at yoga studio?
Speaker 1: It is at an actual sound like this is what
Speaker 1: they do. And so I've only done it once before,
Speaker 1: but it was so exquisite. Like the feeling that I had,
Speaker 1: I just wish I could have floated and been. I
Speaker 1: didn't wish I had to get in the car and
Speaker 1: drive after because I was just so it's just when
Speaker 1: you're really focused on the meditation and when you get
Speaker 1: to them and it is a practice, like I have
Speaker 1: to do it and practice at it when you have
Speaker 1: a really good one, I genuinely, and I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't have. I don't smoke a lot. I don't smoke
Speaker 1: at all, really, but I don't take edibles. But when
Speaker 1: I have and I've had a little bit of a high,
Speaker 1: I genuinely it's crazy how you can produce that sensation
Speaker 1: in your own body, like that calm and the humming
Speaker 1: through you, and it was amazing. So the place I'm
Speaker 1: and that was at like my local nature preserve. You know,
Speaker 1: it wasn't anything special cool.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, but when I'm going to I didn't know
Speaker 2: what a sound bath was until one of my friends
Speaker 2: invited me like two years ago. So the people listening
Speaker 2: are like, she's going to a what a baff of
Speaker 2: what what.
Speaker 1: To do it? Just google it, go find one and
Speaker 1: go do it.
Speaker 2: True?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they have. It's the one with the
Speaker 1: bowls where they make them. That's not the sound because
Speaker 1: that wouldn't be relaxing, but they make them, and this
Speaker 1: is the place that I'm going to. It looks so beautiful.
Speaker 1: They have like beautiful chaise lounges that we're going to
Speaker 1: lay in with like pillows. We're gonna be so comfy,
Speaker 1: not on the hard floor the yoga matt like I.
Speaker 3: Was last time.
Speaker 2: That's why I've done it. Yeah, I've done it.
Speaker 1: But that's not my boost though.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, that was a little half boost.
Speaker 1: That was a half boost. That was just that was
Speaker 1: just an ADHD tangent where we went down that little road,
Speaker 1: a little side show. But my boost boost her break break.
Speaker 1: All right. So I'm writing this book, y'all know. It's
Speaker 1: going to be called Brown Ambition, and I have the
Speaker 1: most incredible black woman publisher. Her name was Krishn Trautman.
Speaker 1: Legis is the legacy lit at Hashet. It's an imprint
Speaker 1: at one of the top five publishers that really focuses
Speaker 1: on amplifying b IPOC voices. And anyhow, I got this
Speaker 1: book deal almost two years ago, and I have been writing.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've probably written one hundred and fifty thousand
Speaker 1: words by now, and half of them will not end
Speaker 1: up in the book. But I've just been writing and writing.
Speaker 1: And one of the credible things is sometimes I'll just
Speaker 1: have these like epiphanies as I'm writing. And I had
Speaker 1: one of those when I was, you know, full up
Speaker 1: on my macaroni salad in Wisconsin this past weekend. But yeah,
Speaker 1: belly full of fluff really brought it out of me.
Speaker 1: But anytime I'm waiting for my children, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna write all day. And so I had these
Speaker 1: like intense I had this intense writing session. And it's
Speaker 1: in the chapter where I talk about my therapy journey
Speaker 1: and how I have found a lot of the like.
Speaker 1: So I use a particular kind of therapy called DBT
Speaker 1: that I did a I just graduated actually from a
Speaker 1: I think I might have told you guys a two
Speaker 1: like a twenty week DBT training thing and anyhow, And
Speaker 1: I'm trying to connect the dots between how these like
Speaker 1: skills that I've learned, these coping skills for stress can
Speaker 1: really apply to you know, your finances and your career
Speaker 1: and all of that. And as I'm writing it, I'm
Speaker 1: starting to think about just the word ambition and how
Speaker 1: I've always in Tiff and I talked about before too,
Speaker 1: like we always sort of had this this like dual
Speaker 1: way of thinking about ambition. It's amazing, we want to
Speaker 1: celebrate it, but ambition can sometimes drive us into like
Speaker 1: really unhealthy habits and really unhealthy ways of soothing ourselves.
Speaker 1: Like if I just get this money, if I just
Speaker 1: if I launched this business, if I get this you know,
Speaker 1: if I get this accolade, if I succeed here, then
Speaker 1: what then, like in that blank, that blank space, like
Speaker 1: what would you fill that with? What is it that
Speaker 1: you're really chasing? And I had said on my whole
Speaker 1: life that it was around financial security, you know, raised
Speaker 1: by a single mom, saw my mom go through a
Speaker 1: divorce financially you know, insecure, and then also my dad
Speaker 1: had his issues, and I went to school thinking, well,
Speaker 1: I'm just I can't. I don't want to be unsafe
Speaker 1: like that. I don't want to be insecureate that. So
Speaker 1: I'm going to make as much money as possible. But
Speaker 1: in writing the chapter and peeling back the layers and
Speaker 1: I kind of talked about it a little bit earlier,
Speaker 1: but I started to realize that and this was really
Speaker 1: it was kind of it was very like, it's sad,
Speaker 1: but it's also like, Wow, I'm understanding myself so much better.
Speaker 1: I realize why my whole life, I've had this inner
Speaker 1: drive to be successful, to be the best, and to
Speaker 1: get the a's and the four point zero and get
Speaker 1: the best score and get into a good school and
Speaker 1: you know, join all the clubs and be the president
Speaker 1: of this and that and like, and then put so
Speaker 1: much on my plate that I wind up suffering because
Speaker 1: you know, I've taken on so much for not the
Speaker 1: right reasons. I've taken on so much because I wasn't
Speaker 1: chasing financial security. I was chasing like self worth. I
Speaker 1: was chasing this idea that I have nothing else going
Speaker 1: for me but the things that I can do, accomplish, earn,
Speaker 1: get create, and I it's almost as if my like,
Speaker 1: so now my mind has caught up to like I
Speaker 1: can intellectually, I get caught up to the to how
Speaker 1: I was processing and like why I was doing that.
Speaker 1: And what I've realized is like success in ambition, that's
Speaker 1: a form of trauma response. Like success and ambition, it
Speaker 1: can be a trauma response for me. It's a trauma response.
Speaker 1: And you think about girls in school who you know,
Speaker 1: act out as a trauma response. They're angry, you know,
Speaker 1: especially on black girls, you know, the ones who were
Speaker 1: acting out, getting into fights. What do they do? They
Speaker 1: get arrested, they get suspended, you know, they get they
Speaker 1: get put away, and no one looks at them and says,
Speaker 1: what's what's going on? Why are you coping in this way?
Speaker 1: But they get, you know, so they get that end
Speaker 1: of the spectrum. And then you have me, who as
Speaker 1: a response to trauma, I am over exceeding expectations. I'm achieving, achieving,
Speaker 1: And no one ever stopped and said, are you okay?
Speaker 1: Why are you taking Etceterrin in the morning so you
Speaker 1: can stay up for class because you spent all night,
Speaker 1: you know, up working and studying because you have to
Speaker 1: get an a and why are you not staying home
Speaker 1: when you're sick because you don't want to miss a
Speaker 1: day of school? You know why? And my mom was
Speaker 1: never putting that pressure on me. And it's just like,
Speaker 1: I'm getting chills now because it's just I'm in the
Speaker 1: middle of this process of just figuring that out. And
Speaker 1: so I wonder be a fan, like how many of
Speaker 1: y'all listening, Like how many of that? How many of
Speaker 1: y'all does that resonate with? Because I do think the
Speaker 1: high achievers, the ones who are, you know, getting everything
Speaker 1: right and being perfect, I've seen in myself how that
Speaker 1: can lead down a path to damage and destruction and pain.
Speaker 1: And it's just been really eye opening and liberating to
Speaker 1: understand where that's coming from. And I hope that with
Speaker 1: this book with Brown Ambition, I can unlock that realization
Speaker 1: for a lot of people that success can be a
Speaker 1: trauma response. But now that we know that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that we're not going to be out here doing incredible things,
Speaker 1: but it means we're gonna learn how to sit down.
Speaker 1: We're gonna learn that we can rest that we're enough
Speaker 1: that I don't have to do all the things to
Speaker 1: be worthy that I can do what makes me happy
Speaker 1: and what is enough for me and find peace in that.
Speaker 1: And I got through that whole thing without crying, So
Speaker 1: shout out to so loved. So never We're never gonna
Speaker 1: have the right hair, the right skin color. I'm never
Speaker 1: gonna be black enough or white enough or whatever, rich enough,
Speaker 1: or yeah.
Speaker 2: My accent's too thick, I don't have the right connections,
Speaker 2: my network doesn't span wide enough. I'm never gonna get
Speaker 2: that promotion. It's like you constantly think that, but you know,
Speaker 2: to your point is if you finally face it and go, oh,
Speaker 2: this is why I've been like this, my whole life
Speaker 2: can be very free. I feel like that's a beautiful.
Speaker 1: Thing and why it can bring about so much good
Speaker 1: but then so much bad, and like how to find that?
Speaker 1: You know, how to be ambitious in a healthy way.
Speaker 1: And then I just and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: how I'm closing out the book. This is the best
Speaker 1: way to do it. So I think I've finished. I
Speaker 1: think I've written the last couple chapters of Brown Ambition,
Speaker 1: and I think I finally have answered for myself what
Speaker 1: I want the book to be. I didn't want it
Speaker 1: to be another how to you know, I have so
Speaker 1: much more to offer, I think than just then. Don't
Speaker 1: worry that's going to be in there. How to negotiate,
Speaker 1: how to you know, how to budget, how to pay
Speaker 1: off debt, how to be good at money even after
Speaker 1: you've been bad with it. All that is there, But
Speaker 1: I'm also sharing a lot of that personal journey and
Speaker 1: it just it feels good. Makes me love myself a
Speaker 1: lot more. And yeah, at my big age, it's not
Speaker 1: too late, borant.
Speaker 2: That is so important. I mean it's hard when you're
Speaker 2: reading a book from somebody who doesn't have that relationship
Speaker 2: with themselves. You can tell, you can tell. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I love that for everybody who's going to read Brown Ambition.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I love the day in there too, because
Speaker 4: I mean I've read so many money books where it's
Speaker 4: like you could tell they needed a number of pages,
Speaker 4: so they just start repeating the same thing about fifteen
Speaker 4: times in the book, and I'm like, all right, I
Speaker 4: got it, Like you know, you'll need to tell me
Speaker 4: this again. So I like that you're integrating more because
Speaker 4: I mean, money is bigger than that, whether whatever part
Speaker 4: of money you're talking about, it's bigger than so much
Speaker 4: of who you are and that stuff you deal with
Speaker 4: and the way you process that and understand it impacts
Speaker 4: the way you make decisions when it comes to your money.
Speaker 4: So I'm excited for this book because I know it's
Speaker 4: going to be It's not gonna be one of those
Speaker 4: typical books.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be something that gives a lot more than
Speaker 3: just advice.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna tell some stories, telling a lot
Speaker 1: of stories that to.
Speaker 2: That was That's one of the biggest things that I
Speaker 2: feel like differentiates books written by people of color in
Speaker 2: the finance and career and personal development space is that
Speaker 2: the stories that we have they not like us. They
Speaker 2: don't got these stories, they don't have these experiences. They
Speaker 2: don't and so it just colors your book in a
Speaker 2: very different in different pain strokes, in a different way
Speaker 2: that a lot of these classic money books they just
Speaker 2: can't They just can't do that. And that's okay. I've
Speaker 2: learned a lot from classic money books. I got a
Speaker 2: lot of them behind me. But it's a different interaction
Speaker 2: with a book written by somebody who shares some of
Speaker 2: the traumas that you're talking about and having experienced, and
Speaker 2: the discrimination in the space as well, like, let's just
Speaker 2: be real, that's what it is. And when somebody comes
Speaker 2: from that understanding, it's just so much easier for you
Speaker 2: to like let your guard down and take the book
Speaker 2: for what it's giving you and not constantly be questioning
Speaker 2: where it's coming from. Oh but you wouldn't understand this.
Speaker 2: Oh but your parents never did, never struggled with that.
Speaker 2: You can kind of just like let that go and
Speaker 2: really get from the book what it's meant to give you.
Speaker 2: At least that has been my experience, and that's why
Speaker 2: I chose to write a book too, because I just
Speaker 2: was like, wait a minute, this is not easy for
Speaker 2: me to be reading book after book after book that's
Speaker 2: missing that secret sauce. The secret sauce is the stories
Speaker 2: I think ye won't see.
Speaker 1: I promise my sauces is sauce and not mayonnaise. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's that Georgia's southern souls.
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, yes, it's not the Wisconsin, the Georgia.
Speaker 1: Well, thanks for listening, Va fam, Please please please read
Speaker 1: a review. Thank you so much. Thank you to Nellie
Speaker 1: and Chris for joining me at the Brown Table this week.
Speaker 1: I'll see y'all Friday for the b a q A
Speaker 1: Bye