1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,640
Speaker 1: I sabotaged my husband's gaming tournament because he refused to

2
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,600
Speaker 1: help with our new born. My husband, Jake, thirty male,

3
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,800
Speaker 1: and I twenty seven female, recently welcomed our first baby, Emma,

4
00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:14,840
Speaker 1: who is now three months old. As most new parents know,

5
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:19,280
Speaker 1: it's been a challenging time, filled with sleepless nights and

6
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,040
Speaker 1: endless diaper changes. I'm on attorney to leave, so I'm

7
00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,520
Speaker 1: home with Emma all day, but I still need help

8
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,880
Speaker 1: from Jake, especially during the night. By the way, this

9
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,120
Speaker 1: comes from Puzzle to six six one five on the

10
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,960
Speaker 1: Best of rehditor updates, so ibreddit. So Jake works from

11
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,519
Speaker 1: home and is a huge gamer. He spends most of

12
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,040
Speaker 1: his free time playing online games with his friends. I've

13
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,839
Speaker 1: tried to be understanding and give him space, but it's

14
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,360
Speaker 1: been hard when he refuses to help with Emma. At

15
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,280
Speaker 1: Knight got to help his squad win those games.

16
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,440
Speaker 2: You just have time for kids.

17
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, babe, I am the leader of my

18
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,600
Speaker 1: Alphas squadron.

19
00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:01,200
Speaker 2: We're playing cod Baby out of time to coddle a baby.

20
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,280
Speaker 1: You would understand it's life death out there, babe. This

21
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,520
Speaker 1: is just some kid you can grow up on his own.

22
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,760
Speaker 1: I've asked him multiple times to take turns getting up

23
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,520
Speaker 1: with her, but he always says he's too tired or

24
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:15,480
Speaker 1: that he has an important game. Breastfeeding has been particularly difficult.

25
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,679
Speaker 1: Often the baby struggles to latch properly, leading to painful

26
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,640
Speaker 1: and sometimes cracked nipples. We don't want that out. You

27
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:27,280
Speaker 1: got to use that? Uh what baby oil or cocoa butter?

28
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,360
Speaker 1: I don't know whatever whatever you need for?

29
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:29,520
Speaker 2: What?

30
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:34,080
Speaker 1: What? What? Ladies? What use for those nipple cracks? Let

31
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:39,320
Speaker 1: us know in the chat. I've had mass miss titties,

32
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:45,080
Speaker 1: mess Titus, mass titties twice already, mass Titus.

33
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,240
Speaker 2: I think it's mass titus.

34
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:53,280
Speaker 1: Mass titty mass titus mass titus twice already, which leaves

35
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:57,440
Speaker 1: me feeling feverish and in intense pain.

36
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,960
Speaker 2: Because going matt masterities.

37
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,760
Speaker 1: I was close. I think despite seeing me in pain,

38
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,480
Speaker 1: Jake just lasted off, finding it amusing. That's no laugh

39
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,400
Speaker 1: being matter mast Titus would never and should never be

40
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:20,600
Speaker 1: laughed at. Kristen Did says nipple shields and ointment. Sassy

41
00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,680
Speaker 1: Seen says nipchap lily, Pilly Willy says there's cream for

42
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,760
Speaker 1: chapped nips. He never offers help during these moments. Even

43
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:33,399
Speaker 1: though I'm visibly struggling and desperate for support. One night,

44
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,520
Speaker 1: after I'd been up with Emma for the third time

45
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,520
Speaker 1: and Jake was still glued to his computer, I'd have enough.

46
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,880
Speaker 1: I went to his office and asked him to take

47
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,040
Speaker 1: over so I could get some sleep. He waved me off,

48
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,960
Speaker 1: get out of here, get out of here, saying he

49
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,640
Speaker 1: was in the middle of a game and that I

50
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:55,399
Speaker 1: should just handle it. I'm sensing some misogyny.

51
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,359
Speaker 2: My misogyny, sins aingling.

52
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:01,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're on maternity leave and free all day while

53
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,360
Speaker 1: I have to work, so I need time to relax.

54
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:09,040
Speaker 1: You're just sitting around doing nothing all day. I was

55
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,280
Speaker 1: exhausted and on the verge of tears. I needed his help,

56
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,440
Speaker 1: but he was completely dismissive, and in a moment of

57
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,640
Speaker 1: frustration and desperation, I walked over to the router and

58
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,079
Speaker 1: turned off the Wi Fi, which not.

59
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,600
Speaker 2: That bad, not that bad, not that bad.

60
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,520
Speaker 1: I thought she was gonna go and smash it, like

61
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,840
Speaker 1: that would have been worse. Turn off the router, like,

62
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,760
Speaker 1: she's like, I need to have a conversation with you.

63
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And she's also being like neglected, and she's probably

64
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:39,320
Speaker 2: lacking sleep is in pain, is frustrated.

65
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,840
Speaker 1: And even she's like, hey, I realize I was not

66
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,360
Speaker 1: in the best place when I did this, Like she's

67
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,360
Speaker 1: even feeling bad about just turning off the WiFi.

68
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,119
Speaker 2: Yeah.

69
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,000
Speaker 1: That's when Jake completely lost it. He stormed out of

70
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,160
Speaker 1: his office screamed at me. Apparently him and his friends

71
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,960
Speaker 1: were in some sort of online tournament and they were

72
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,200
Speaker 1: about to win when I unplugged the Wi Fi. He

73
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:04,320
Speaker 1: called me selfish, irresponsible, and accused me of sabotaging his

74
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:08,080
Speaker 1: one form of relaxation. He went on to say that

75
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,240
Speaker 1: I had no right to interfere with his me time.

76
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,760
Speaker 2: He doesn't get me time, he doesn't get that much

77
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,440
Speaker 2: me time when she's taking care of the child full time.

78
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,839
Speaker 1: I mean, she just needs so minute. She needs help,

79
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,360
Speaker 1: She needs help, and she hasn't asked for that much.

80
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,800
Speaker 2: No, and he hasn't given any.

81
00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:27,320
Speaker 1: And that I should have waited until he was done.

82
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,520
Speaker 1: I calmly explained that I needed his help and that

83
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 1: our baby was more important than his game. He refused

84
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,960
Speaker 1: to listen and continued to berate me, adding that I

85
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,760
Speaker 1: haven't even been having spicy sleep with him, and that

86
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,480
Speaker 1: we've only had spicy sleep four times since Emma was born.

87
00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:45,240
Speaker 1: He accused me of wanting to take everything away from

88
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,920
Speaker 1: him while doing nothing all day and sitting at home

89
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:52,000
Speaker 1: on my butt. Jake never helps during the day either,

90
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,800
Speaker 1: even after he finishes work at five PM. I don't

91
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,559
Speaker 1: expect him to help during work hours, but once he's off,

92
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,200
Speaker 1: he should be stepping up as a parent, yeah, which

93
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,360
Speaker 1: I think is fair. I think it's like, like, you

94
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,880
Speaker 1: guys are both working, yeah, during the work day, and

95
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,080
Speaker 1: then when you both are home, yes, like there needs

96
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:11,480
Speaker 1: to be time for relaxation for you both.

97
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,480
Speaker 2: But I think there's also an expectation that, like when

98
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:17,520
Speaker 2: you were a new parent, Yeah, you're gonna lose some sleep,

99
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,719
Speaker 2: You're gonna lose your me time. You don't get to

100
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,799
Speaker 2: just go play with your buddies whenever you want and regardless.

101
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:26,360
Speaker 1: Right, Like, let's let's let's just say he believes, you know,

102
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,280
Speaker 1: he he was doing everything right? All right, When your

103
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,360
Speaker 1: partner goes up to you and says, hey, I'm exhausted,

104
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,120
Speaker 1: I need taking care, I need help taking care of

105
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:39,040
Speaker 1: our child. If you're a good partner and a good parent,

106
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,919
Speaker 1: you're gonna do something. Yeah, Like I can't imagine my

107
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,640
Speaker 1: partner being like, hey, I need help with the baby.

108
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:44,640
Speaker 1: Be like.

109
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,360
Speaker 2: Playing video games.

110
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,039
Speaker 1: Play video games. My work was done way back at

111
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:57,520
Speaker 1: the beginning. I shot my shot, and now it's on you, babe. Ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous. Instead,

112
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,559
Speaker 1: he goes straight to his games, leaving me to handle

113
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,799
Speaker 1: everything alone. Since then, he's been sulking around the house

114
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,200
Speaker 1: barely speaking to me. To make matters worse, his friends

115
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,719
Speaker 1: have been sending me nasty messages, calling me a crazy

116
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,080
Speaker 1: wife and saying I'm unreasonable.

117
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,720
Speaker 2: Oh, now he's getting He's probably ranting to his friends, Oh,

118
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,000
Speaker 2: my wife is insane. She don't won't let me play anything.

119
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,239
Speaker 1: Or any of them do any of them have children?

120
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,560
Speaker 2: They must not or they do. Maybe this is how

121
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:22,280
Speaker 2: they act as well.

122
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,960
Speaker 1: My right. Maybe I don't remember the ages, if we

123
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,880
Speaker 1: got ages at the beginning, But this feels like a

124
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,280
Speaker 1: young I have to believe it's a young marriage because

125
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,640
Speaker 1: this is so immature, like to not be taking your

126
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,000
Speaker 1: taking care of your child?

127
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,000
Speaker 2: No, incredibly, Also, don't you want to take care of

128
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:41,440
Speaker 2: your kid?

129
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:42,880
Speaker 1: Do not feel any obligation?

130
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,599
Speaker 2: I guess not, I guess.

131
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,520
Speaker 1: Or maybe he has old school values where it's like

132
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,480
Speaker 1: Jimmy Las says, where is her mean time? Exactly?

133
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,400
Speaker 2: No, he doesn't want to give her because he doesn't.

134
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:58,200
Speaker 2: He is not prioritizing her at all. It's all about him.

135
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,480
Speaker 1: Like I think, maybe when a kid gets older, you know,

136
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,440
Speaker 1: there's less full time attention that needs to be uh,

137
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:06,960
Speaker 1: that needs to be there with a kid.

138
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, but when you have a newborn baby, it's all consuming,

139
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,560
Speaker 2: it's all Yeah, you should always like like the the

140
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,440
Speaker 2: the whole thing is like, yeah, you have like the jokes,

141
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,240
Speaker 2: You get no sleep, and its torture for like the

142
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:19,960
Speaker 2: first couple of years.

143
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. They call my wife crazy and saying I'm unreasonable.

144
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,920
Speaker 1: One of them even suggested that Jake should leave me

145
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,360
Speaker 1: because I'm too demanding.

146
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, and as so, now his friends are telling him

147
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,320
Speaker 2: to leave his wife and newborn child.

148
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,960
Speaker 1: Dude, I hate these guys. Guys. I feel like I'm

149
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,360
Speaker 1: losing my mind here. I am too, just trying to

150
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,760
Speaker 1: get a bit of support. I'm exhausted, and all I

151
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:47,080
Speaker 1: wanted was for Jake to step up. Jake, get off

152
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,679
Speaker 1: your games, come on, be an adults, be a father.

153
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:52,120
Speaker 1: Where are you?

154
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,120
Speaker 2: Where are you? I'm sorry.

155
00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,600
Speaker 1: Instead, I'm being painted as a villain for one to

156
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,320
Speaker 1: help with our newborn.

157
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,040
Speaker 2: No, not a villain. Not a villain. You literally turn

158
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,440
Speaker 2: off the Wi Fi like boo freaking who, Yeah, get

159
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:09,920
Speaker 2: over it. I'm smarry with.

160
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,520
Speaker 1: The real world husband.

161
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,040
Speaker 2: I just can't imagine getting that upset over turning off

162
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,000
Speaker 2: a video game. I mean, even if you're in a game,

163
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,760
Speaker 2: I don't even care unless he's getting paid for that tournament.

164
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,320
Speaker 2: I don't even care a tournament when he's a new

165
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,200
Speaker 2: new father because he's got a game. He's got it.

166
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,760
Speaker 1: Also, like, this doesn't feel like the most relaxing environment.

167
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,560
Speaker 1: Like you said you need to relax. He said, you

168
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:36,559
Speaker 1: need me time your high stakes tournament. Yeah. Also, yeah,

169
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:39,080
Speaker 1: what is she getting her me time? I'm also curious, like,

170
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,640
Speaker 1: what do you think should be the expectation if you

171
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,240
Speaker 1: have someone working full time and someone being a full

172
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,200
Speaker 1: parent after five pm? What do you feel like the

173
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:52,720
Speaker 1: expectation is for each partner? Obviously this guy should be

174
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,960
Speaker 1: taking care of his kid, But like, what do you

175
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,800
Speaker 1: think is the ask here? If she is trying to

176
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,040
Speaker 1: stay in the relationship and it's not like a instant

177
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,760
Speaker 1: divorce and she's like hey, like he's actually good. Besides

178
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,080
Speaker 1: this gaping red flag that I see right in front

179
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,840
Speaker 1: of me and wants to stay like what do you

180
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,400
Speaker 1: what do you? What do you ask for? And then

181
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,960
Speaker 1: if that doesn't happen, maybe, you know, we go to divorce.

182
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,679
Speaker 1: Tia says, divorce Now, he's never going to change. Michelle

183
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,680
Speaker 1: D says fifty to fifty. So five PM, fifty fifty,

184
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,040
Speaker 1: that's what feels right to me.

185
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,360
Speaker 2: I think. So, I think she's been taking care of it.

186
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,480
Speaker 2: And when you have a new newborn, you're you can't

187
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,960
Speaker 2: just like go take a shower when you need to.

188
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,600
Speaker 2: You can't go to the bathroom without you know, it's.

189
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,520
Speaker 1: All you're like, yes, baby is sleeping maybe sometimes, but

190
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,319
Speaker 1: the baby do also doesn't sleep that long when it's

191
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,200
Speaker 1: the newborn. Maybe that baby's waking up like every like

192
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,719
Speaker 1: thirty minutes. And also just like the all consuming thing

193
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,320
Speaker 1: of like just suppressing all of your needs for another being,

194
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,200
Speaker 1: like that's it's just it's it's just it's just all.

195
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 2: Sits much hard, Like I think it's harder than almost

196
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,400
Speaker 2: any job if you are full time.

197
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,800
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah. I mean also like there's I

198
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,800
Speaker 1: don't know what kind of job is he has, but

199
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:05,000
Speaker 1: childcare is more often more demanding than maybe the average job.

200
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,800
Speaker 2: I think so as someone who's like baby's you know,

201
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,600
Speaker 2: and done, like like I worked at a unnamed coffee shop,

202
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,760
Speaker 2: it was much harder to babiesit. Not saying that it

203
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,840
Speaker 2: wasn't fun, but it was like five hours. That was

204
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,680
Speaker 2: I was like running around for five hours. And also

205
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,880
Speaker 2: like you're like on, you have to be on and

206
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,400
Speaker 2: watching and aware.

207
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, if he has done the babysitting, she knows. Also,

208
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,800
Speaker 1: on the note of how old everyone, Jessica Hinckley, thank

209
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:34,000
Speaker 1: you for the reminder. He's thirty, she's twenty seven, So

210
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 1: he's not even young enough to get get taken off

211
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,320
Speaker 1: the hook, not that he should be regardless of how

212
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,640
Speaker 1: old he is. So he accused me of wanting to

213
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,200
Speaker 1: take everything away from him while doing nothing all day

214
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,920
Speaker 1: and sitting at home on my booty. Jake never helps

215
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,800
Speaker 1: during the day either, even after he finished work. I

216
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,080
Speaker 1: don't expect him to help during work hours, but once

217
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,959
Speaker 1: he's off, he should be stepping up as a parent,

218
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,960
Speaker 1: and said he goes straight to his games, leaving me

219
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,560
Speaker 1: to do everything alone. Since then, he's been sulking, going

220
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,640
Speaker 1: around the house, barely speaking to me, to make matters

221
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,079
Speaker 1: worth his friends calling me crazy. One of them even

222
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,880
Speaker 1: suggested I'm to leave me. So I feel like I'm

223
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,240
Speaker 1: losing my mind here, just trying to get a bit

224
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,560
Speaker 1: of support. I'm exhausted, and all I wanted was for

225
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,720
Speaker 1: Jake to step up and be a parent too. Instead,

226
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,920
Speaker 1: I'm being painted as the villain for wanting help with

227
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,439
Speaker 1: our newborn. Am I the a Hole? We do have edits,

228
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,520
Speaker 1: we do have updates? But is OPD a hole? And

229
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,520
Speaker 1: also every time I hear a story like this, yeah,

230
00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:30,839
Speaker 1: and I hear am I the A Hole? After? And

231
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:35,800
Speaker 1: it makes me sad, sad because this woman has been

232
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:40,760
Speaker 1: like convinced, convinced that this is normal behavior that like,

233
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:45,840
Speaker 1: like her husband can completely shut her out of his responsibility, yeah,

234
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,880
Speaker 1: like his responsibility to take care of this kid.

235
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,120
Speaker 2: And he's just like no, yeah, he's a good no,

236
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,560
Speaker 2: it's me time time. And then he gets all of

237
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,040
Speaker 2: his friends to harass her. So she's already probably like

238
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,520
Speaker 2: she has no sleep, she's exhausted, she's in pain, and

239
00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,640
Speaker 2: now she's getting text messages saying that she's crazy.

240
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:02,240
Speaker 1: That is.

241
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:04,160
Speaker 2: Over.

242
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,920
Speaker 1: Even if he believes that he is right to have

243
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:11,160
Speaker 1: your friends harass your wife is insane.

244
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,880
Speaker 2: Well, the thing that he could not if he thought

245
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,200
Speaker 2: he was right, he could have gone to her and

246
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,160
Speaker 2: said like, hey, that was over the line. Yeah you know,

247
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,600
Speaker 2: let's have a conversation about this. But no, because he's

248
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:20,480
Speaker 2: in the wrong.

249
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,400
Speaker 1: This isn't one of your cod chat rooms where you

250
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:27,160
Speaker 1: can just yell slurs and stuff at the top of

251
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,400
Speaker 1: your lungs and have all of your friends gang up

252
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,880
Speaker 1: on the one girl in the chat. No.

253
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean, like you see how those shot.

254
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,880
Speaker 2: Like I've seen the videos of those chat rooms. Oh yeah,

255
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,760
Speaker 2: those chat rooms are like make me sandwich. I love

256
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 2: the videos where the women are like killing it, annihilating, Yeah,

257
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:45,720
Speaker 2: make me sandwich.

258
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:50,320
Speaker 1: And it's like no, yeah, I just like can't comprehend. Yeah.

259
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,120
Speaker 1: Margerie says Op is so not the A whole. I

260
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,160
Speaker 1: think all of us agree, not the A whole. It

261
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,439
Speaker 1: seems like chat agrees, not the Ahill Lily Pilly Willy says,

262
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,280
Speaker 1: hey or not, Margress, OPI is so not the A whole.

263
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,200
Speaker 1: Alicia not the A whole, of course, Jelly but says,

264
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,240
Speaker 1: treating her like she's a video game fodder. Nurse Aaron

265
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,240
Speaker 1: says she is so much not the a hole he

266
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:17,240
Speaker 1: is though, and his friends. Yeah. Yeah, this also feels

267
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:22,960
Speaker 1: like something systemic. It's like not like a single issue issue.

268
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,920
Speaker 1: This is like something that feels like belief. Yeah, this

269
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,400
Speaker 1: is this is These are deep seated beliefs. But we

270
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,640
Speaker 1: got an update for those of you saying why I

271
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,640
Speaker 1: married him and didn't I know this before? Jake was

272
00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,680
Speaker 1: completely different, before em was born. He was supportive, he

273
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,040
Speaker 1: was understanding. This behavior is new and shocking to me.

274
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,280
Speaker 1: And edit too, all those calling me an a whole

275
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,640
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

276
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,880
Speaker 2: Who's calling and a hole gamers?

277
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:56,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, understand the game. Also, something that like scares

278
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,839
Speaker 1: me about marriage is that like just like someone can change,

279
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,520
Speaker 1: someone can change, can change, like just like I think.

280
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,480
Speaker 2: I think it's like really important too. I mean, like

281
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,280
Speaker 2: we see a lot of stories where people get married

282
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,520
Speaker 2: after like a year of knowing each other, and I'm like,

283
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,040
Speaker 2: I don't think you can know someone until you're at

284
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:12,600
Speaker 2: least like.

285
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,600
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like years in. I feel like i've

286
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,280
Speaker 1: really I feel like I haven't really known my significant

287
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,360
Speaker 1: others until like two years in. Yeah, and then like

288
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,160
Speaker 1: all of the like I think you see just you

289
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,880
Speaker 1: just see who someone like really really is at the

290
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 1: two year mark. And then also if you travel with them,

291
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,320
Speaker 1: my parents say, like, don't marry someone.

292
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,720
Speaker 2: Until you've had it, been on a road trip if.

293
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,560
Speaker 1: You if I think road trip or third world country, Yeah,

294
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:44,120
Speaker 1: either one of those, like tight quarters just like camping

295
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 1: or in a van for multiple weeks, like can you

296
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,040
Speaker 1: can you there's going to be conflict, it comes up.

297
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,680
Speaker 1: Can you get through it? Can you push through it?

298
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,200
Speaker 2: And so yeah, I went on a three month trip

299
00:14:56,240 --> 00:15:00,640
Speaker 2: with my friends, still friends with them, Yeah, doesn't always happened.

300
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,280
Speaker 1: I went on a month trip with my ex girlfriend

301
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 1: and she's an ex.

302
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,920
Speaker 2: We found out, and there you have it. They have

303
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,200
Speaker 2: it that every.

304
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:16,960
Speaker 1: Time, every time. My parents traveled for months through Europe

305
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:23,240
Speaker 1: and India. Married for twenty seven years more than I

306
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,200
Speaker 1: am old, thirty six years and.

307
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:26,680
Speaker 2: Mom got married a year before.

308
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,600
Speaker 1: You. No, they've known each other since eighty nine.

309
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they got me. I think they got married.

310
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,520
Speaker 1: They got married the year before. But they've known each

311
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,720
Speaker 1: other since eighty nine. Okay, so it's like twenty eight

312
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,480
Speaker 1: if they know, Like how long have they known each other?

313
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:37,480
Speaker 2: Oh?

314
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,600
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, yeah, thirty five years? Quick maths. We got

315
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,040
Speaker 1: another edit? So uh to all those calling me an

316
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,520
Speaker 1: a hole. I'm sorry your words cut deep, and I

317
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,680
Speaker 1: feel more hurt than I can't express. I didn't turn

318
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,280
Speaker 1: off the Wi Fi out of spikes or because I

319
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,760
Speaker 1: couldn't handle my responsibilities. It was a desperate act after

320
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:02,200
Speaker 1: feeling completely unsupport it and alone. I feel like I'm

321
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:07,080
Speaker 1: drowning in guilt and sadness. This time with Emma has

322
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:12,239
Speaker 1: been incredibly challenging. I'm constantly exhausted and in pain from breastfeeding.

323
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,320
Speaker 1: All I do is cry because I feel like such

324
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,520
Speaker 1: a failure.

325
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,120
Speaker 2: And I feel like this is like when you have

326
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 2: a partner is going through this like such physical change. Uh,

327
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 2: you need to be so supportive. It's hard and it's

328
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 2: a single parent perfect but yeah she is a single.

329
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 1: She's a single parent. Like maybe he's providing a check,

330
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:37,240
Speaker 1: but yeah, single parent bad roommate but roommates subsidizing the house.

331
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:37,920
Speaker 2: Yeah that's it.

332
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:41,000
Speaker 1: Nurse Aaron says, Okay, this is making me very worried postpartum.

333
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would even like like potentially, yeah,

334
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,200
Speaker 1: but it's like I would be.

335
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:50,840
Speaker 2: I would, as you said, like obviously could be.

336
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:55,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's like anyone would be, would be super station.

337
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, causation kind of, yeah, exactly. No, it's just this

338
00:16:59,080 --> 00:16:59,960
Speaker 2: guy is terrible.

339
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,360
Speaker 1: Ya, he is terrible. All I do is cry. I

340
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 1: can't just can anymore. Jake works hard, and I appreciate him,

341
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 1: but his indifference to my struggles makes me feel so isolated.

342
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,880
Speaker 1: I spent my days and nights in tears, wondering if

343
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:17,440
Speaker 1: I'm failing as a mother and a wife. Well, maybe

344
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:21,880
Speaker 1: maybe the postpartum is making her not realize how bad

345
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:22,880
Speaker 1: the situation.

346
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,000
Speaker 2: Is for her, putting it anymore.

347
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, all I've wanted is for us to share the

348
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,679
Speaker 1: responsibilities of parenting, especially during those late nights, feedings and

349
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,479
Speaker 1: diaper changes that leave me feeling so drained. I've been

350
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,520
Speaker 1: struggling with feelings of sadness and guilt, wondering if I'm

351
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 1: failing as a mother and wife. It's not about controlling

352
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,760
Speaker 1: his downtime, It's about needing his support during this incredibly

353
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 1: tough time. I wish you could understand the depth of

354
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 1: loneliness and frustration i've been feeling. Your words about me

355
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,200
Speaker 1: being selfish and mature hit hard because I've been questioning myself. Honestly,

356
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,760
Speaker 1: dang it, Reddit, I never wanted to play the victim

357
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,960
Speaker 1: or make Jake out to be the bad guy. All

358
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,520
Speaker 1: I wanted was for us to work together like a team,

359
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,200
Speaker 1: like we promised each other when we decided to start

360
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 1: a family. I'm sorry if my actions hurt anyone, including

361
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,119
Speaker 1: Jake and his friends. I was overwhelmed and at a

362
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: breaking point. I'm trapped in a cycle of guilt, feeling

363
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,959
Speaker 1: like everything is my fault. I never wanted to hurt anyone.

364
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,400
Speaker 1: I just don't know how to cope anymore. I'm not

365
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,680
Speaker 1: trying to be selfish. I'm just trying to survive the.

366
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,800
Speaker 2: Fact that anyone, including Opee, thinks that they hurt, Like

367
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 2: she hurt her husband and his friends for turning off

368
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,879
Speaker 2: a game they're playing a game, and also his friends

369
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 2: were still able to play. They took one person out

370
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:36,960
Speaker 2: of a game.

371
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:41,959
Speaker 1: Cheryld Die says she needs a therapist and a divorce lawyer.

372
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,159
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean, like the fact, like you know,

373
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 1: I'm debating, you know, do you go straight to divorce?

374
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,919
Speaker 1: He's not even trying to communicate, He's not even seeing

375
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 1: how far she's being pushed. Yeah, you know, and still

376
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:57,679
Speaker 1: is blaming on her.

377
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 2: I just think, to me, it's the fact that he

378
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 2: got his friends involved is ridiculous.

379
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 1: And that's whack too. And three, a lot of people

380
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 1: are saying I'm making breastfeeding a huge deal and millions

381
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 1: of moms do it too. But mess titis isn't just

382
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:16,600
Speaker 1: a minor inconvenience. It's excruciating, throbbing pain that feels like

383
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:21,400
Speaker 1: shards of glass stabbing into my breasts with every suckle.

384
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 1: Oh oh, my nipples are hurting now. Oh Jesus. Sometimes

385
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,680
Speaker 1: the pain is so intense that I cry, oh silently

386
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,480
Speaker 1: while Emma feeds, and I have to bury my face

387
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 1: in a pillow just to muffle my cries because Jake

388
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 1: has made it clear that my suffering is a nuisance

389
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 1: to him. Oh this is sad.

390
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,639
Speaker 2: This is really sad. Yeah, you are a single parent.

391
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 2: Like it's like when people say, oh, like, don't divorce

392
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 2: with the kids. He's not doing anything. He's providing a

393
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,440
Speaker 2: check which you would still get if you divorced.

394
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:56,160
Speaker 1: Oh oh, pus sucks. He says he's either working, gaming,

395
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 1: or sleeping, so I should not disturb him. Where in

396
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 1: there is it parent? Where's parent? Because parents should be

397
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 1: in there. You said you were going to be a

398
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,120
Speaker 1: parent yeah, and some people are saying that even if

399
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:10,280
Speaker 1: this happens to me, then what the f should be done? Here?

400
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 1: Do I expect him to grow a breast and feed Emma?

401
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 1: Read it?

402
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 2: I hate read it? Whoever's commenting this, like who's doing this?

403
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 2: And also a lot of times, like I'm sorry, a

404
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,399
Speaker 2: lot of times mothers will like pump a bunch of

405
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,439
Speaker 2: stuff and then you'll have extra milk left over, in

406
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 2: which case he could feed his baby, could warm it up.

407
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's tons of things that he could be doing.

408
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,440
Speaker 2: Could be, you know, getting her water, could be getting

409
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 2: her food, could be making her more comfortable while she

410
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 2: feeds the baby, could be taking the baby immediately after.

411
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 1: Is there a way to make him see what's happening?

412
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,920
Speaker 2: I mean, if she's already trying to have a conversation,

413
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 2: he's not listening.

414
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 1: I don't.

415
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 2: I don't know, like maybe the divorce conversation will shock him,

416
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,640
Speaker 2: but I don't know what else.

417
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like divorce is going to be hard. Yeah,

418
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 1: but you know, I feel like I don't know if

419
00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 1: he's going to get it if that doesn't happen, I'm curious,

420
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 1: you guys, think, like what would be best for her.

421
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,199
Speaker 1: Does seem like she has such like a bunch of

422
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 1: like a support structure. No, but I mean it feels

423
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:11,159
Speaker 1: like divorce is the best option. But yeah, we'll let

424
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 1: you know from you guys. So do I expect him

425
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 1: to grow breast and feed Eva. No, I'm not expecting

426
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 1: him to do that. I just want him to support me.

427
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 1: He never offers the help during these moments, even though

428
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: I'm in tears and desperately in need of support. Mistresslida says,

429
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,360
Speaker 1: not the ahle spicy sleep four times with a three

430
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: months old, considering that one is not supposed to have

431
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,360
Speaker 1: intercourse at all during the first six weeks due to infection.

432
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,360
Speaker 1: He is not painting himself in a pretty light here

433
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,680
Speaker 1: at all. And b Fan seventy two says, as soon

434
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 1: as he brought up the lack of spicy sleep, it

435
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 1: showed who he was. If you told him that you

436
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 1: wanted spicy sleep, you would stop gaming when he came home.

437
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,360
Speaker 1: This has to do with you not catering to his needs.

438
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 1: You need to really think about if you want your

439
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 1: daughter to be raised in a house where her father

440
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 1: treats her mother badly, remember that his kids learn what

441
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 1: is acceptable behavior in relationships by watching what their parents do.

442
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 1: Is this the kind of relationship that you would want

443
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 1: your daughter to have? Oh, it is sad, It is sad.

444
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 1: I feel like when you're in these kinds of relationships,

445
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: you know you have to you have to get out,

446
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: but it's like, you know, you want to learn how

447
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 1: to avoid getting into these things in the beginning. I

448
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: think often these situations are actually there's a lot there's

449
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 1: a lot of people are constantly signaling who they are.

450
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: People are constantly signaling who they are.

451
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 2: And yeah, I mean, like I think as when you're

452
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 2: in a relationship, there's when you see those signals. A

453
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 2: lot of times we ignore them.

454
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're usually small, you know, the signals of

455
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: who someone is are usually small and.

456
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 2: Like easily excused away by you.

457
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because like oh it's just like you know,

458
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: this happened is a small thing, Like it's probably nothing.

459
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 1: But usually what they are are they they are indicators

460
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: of larger dynamics that will happen in a relationship. And

461
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 1: so like, for example, you know, is this the kind

462
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 1: of guy that won't won't help you if you need

463
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 1: something to be picked up? Right? Like, oh, like hey,

464
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 1: can you pick this up from the laundromat or something? Right?

465
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: Like would he do that for you in the relationship

466
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: If that's something that he would never do because he's

467
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: busy gaming, then is that big hay? We'd got a

468
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: change when he like you have a kid with him?

469
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 1: Probably not.

470
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 2: I also think like does he like one example is

471
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 2: like does he get you flowers? Not saying that every

472
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 2: person has to get some flowers? But is he doing

473
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 2: those small? Like is that is your partner doing those small?

474
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,160
Speaker 2: And this just goes both ways because this is something

475
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 2: I would do, you know, like is your partner getting

476
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 2: you like giving you things? Is like thinking about you?

477
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, And did you.

478
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,360
Speaker 2: See a change from is it like were they doing

479
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 2: that and then that stopped? You know?

480
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I just yeah. I think it's really it's

481
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 1: like you kind of want to you want to stop

482
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 1: it at the source. I feel like open has to

483
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 1: get out of there as soon as possible. But I

484
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,640
Speaker 1: think like the lesson is to like people getting into

485
00:23:55,680 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 1: relationship is really like listen to what this person is doing.

486
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 2: Because you know, yeah, and sometimes don't don't let infatuation

487
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 2: blind you from the red flags that your your gut

488
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 2: is telling you about.

489
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 1: A thick booty will blind many of people, So beware,

490
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,719
Speaker 1: beware of the thick booty. Sarah Bata says, leave him

491
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,360
Speaker 1: with his child. No, that's that is a terrible idea.

492
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 1: Take the child, Take the child, want care of the child.

493
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 1: Come on, but birthday a ann On says, that was

494
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 1: a part that really sent it over the top for me.

495
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 1: What kind of person complains about only getting their little

496
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 1: spicy hot dog wet four times since their baby was

497
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: born just three months ago. Doing the math makes the

498
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 1: look even worse. Wostmoment are not physically, mentally, emotionally prepared

499
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 1: for any kind of spicy sleep for at least six

500
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 1: to eight weeks after creating an entirely new human being

501
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 1: from scratch. So either he's complaining about only having spicy

502
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: sleep four times in a month, which is a ridiculous complaint,

503
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 1: especially with a newborn in the house, or he pressured

504
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: her into resuming spicy sleep immediately after giving birth. Neither

505
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 1: of those make him the victim, and popular Bonus says,

506
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:13,199
Speaker 1: and the mastic but the mass titis Uh, it's a

507
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: crappy man who enjoys spicy slip with women in pain.

508
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 1: Zie held a pen says Saturday morning, put some bottles

509
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: in the fridge, put the baby on Jake's chest, and

510
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 1: walked out the door. Came back eight hours later and

511
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: asked him.

512
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 2: Wait, they're suggesting that up leaves. They just gives him

513
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 2: the kit and leaves.

514
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,400
Speaker 1: Oh, like a Saturday morning, Put some bottles in the fridge,

515
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: put the baby on Jake's chest, and walk out the door.

516
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 1: Come back eight hours later and ask him how sitting

517
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: around on his butt all day was forewarn mother in

518
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 1: law that this is happening, so she doesn't come and rest.

519
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 2: I wouldn't feel The thing is, I wouldn't feel comfortable.

520
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 2: And if you don't feel comfortable leaving your child with

521
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 2: your partner, it's like that person's not a partner. They're

522
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,160
Speaker 2: not They're not a parent either. I think both parents

523
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 2: should be able to look after their child effectively on

524
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 2: their own.

525
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 1: Chicken Waffle says, Yep. My friend did exactly this to

526
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,439
Speaker 1: her ex husband, and he was very helpful after that.

527
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: She left him for other reasons, but stopped real quick

528
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 1: chance internal fifty four to fifty says husband quickly learned

529
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: the hard struggle when after baby three, he was the

530
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 1: stay at home parent, and I wasn't boy how our

531
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: relationship really got tighter than ever, even though it was

532
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,679
Speaker 1: tight before. Opie replying to some nasty daily comments, I

533
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 1: understand your perspective, but it's really not that simple. Yes,

534
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 1: I'm home with Emma during the day, but caring for

535
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 1: a newborn is incredibly demanding, both physically and emotionally. Jake

536
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 1: works from home, which means he's here, but he rarely

537
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 1: helps with anything beyond his work or his games. Even

538
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 1: on weekends when he's not working, he's glued to his

539
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 1: computer gaming with his friends. He never changes diapers, dresses her,

540
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 1: or even comforts her when she's crying. It's not just

541
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 1: about the physical task. It's about feeling supported and not

542
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 1: shouldering everything on my own when I'm already stretched thin

543
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 1: emotionally and physically. I'm not trying to make it sound

544
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: like I'm the only one making sacrifices. I appreciate that

545
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 1: he works hard, but I'm also working hard to care

546
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 1: for our baby without much help. Yeah. I think that's

547
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 1: the issue here is she appreciates what he's doing.

548
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 2: And he doesn't appreciate.

549
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 1: He does not appreciate or understand what she's.

550
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 2: Doing or even want to understand.

551
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: It is easy, yeah, but I'm also working hard to

552
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 1: care for a baby without much help. It's exhausting and

553
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: it hurts to feel like I'm doing this alone. I

554
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 1: just wish he would see how much I need him

555
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 1: to be present, not just physically here, but emotionally too.

556
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 1: It's not about throwing tantrums, about trying to get through

557
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: each day without feeling completely overwhelmed and unsupported. A girl

558
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 1: has no game, says, oh, you don't listen to this person.

559
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 1: There an idiot and ahole. You're not being selfish by

560
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 1: asking your partner to also parent his child. You're on

561
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 1: maternity leave, not vacation. Caring for a newborn is hard work.

562
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: Contrary to whatever this walking trash can believes. You are

563
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 1: three months postpartum, you're struggling with breastfeeding, You're sleep deprived, vulnerable,

564
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 1: and frequently sick, and your husband doesn't help and laughs

565
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: at you when you're sick. Who does that? He's putting

566
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: your child at risk. He's putting you at risk. You

567
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 1: are overwhelmed and exhausted and doing it all alone. That's

568
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: when accidents happened. Jake is the bad guy. He is

569
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,360
Speaker 1: thirty years old, and he should be able to balance work,

570
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 1: free time, and caring for a child. Instead, he only

571
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 1: cares about himself. There are hundreds of fathers around the

572
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 1: world who love gaming, work and still parent their children

573
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,719
Speaker 1: without complaint. You are drowning and your partner is watching

574
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: you and laughing about it. If you have a family

575
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: any other support, you need to reach out and tell

576
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: them what the heck is going on. Where are Jake's

577
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: parents and all this? Does his mother know? He leaves

578
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: you to do everything by yourself so he can play

579
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: video games respectfully F Jake and f his friends. He

580
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: is an adult with responsibility. He doesn't get to sit

581
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 1: around acting like a teenager. Exactly again, you are three

582
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: months postpartum. Your husband doesn't help last at you when

583
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: you're sec and Justifi is not helping because you haven't

584
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: had spicy sleep with him since you gave birth. Please leave,

585
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 1: You can stay with your family because this cannot go on.

586
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: It's going to affect your health and the health of

587
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: your child. Not the a hole, but you are doing

588
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: a disservice to yourself and your child if you stay

589
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 1: and let Jake act like this.

590
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, good good commenters, it's I do think that

591
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 2: there's probably like tons of terrible commenters, but I think

592
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 2: also he might just be focusing and.

593
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: Focusing because of mentally at But yeah, op, like fine, yeah,

594
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: not at all your fault. And what you need to

595
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 1: do is you need to find support anywhere. You can

596
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: reach out to friends, family, family, extended family, and start

597
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: like with separation and some divorce proceedings, stay with someone

598
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 1: else that you can just like get out of there

599
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 1: because Jake is going to be mentally draining you. Yes, agreed,

600
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 1: they made me says I'm a dad gamer and stay

601
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: at home dad gamer. Simply put, kids come first. I

602
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: stopped playing games where I can't really control when I

603
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: walk away unless the kids are in bed. Also, you

604
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 1: had a baby with a man child. You all need

605
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: to pick better partners to have kids with already. There's

606
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: no way this type of crap just sprung up. That's

607
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: kind of what we were saying earlier.

608
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's got to be signs.

609
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 1: He has been this way since the beginning, and you

610
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 1: chose to ignore it. It's really sucky because you and

611
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: this kid deserve so much better. But come on, you

612
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 1: knew that your husband was like this before the kid.

613
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: I'm sure he barely helps with house duties, never mind

614
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: child slash baby duties. But no, you aren't the a hole.

615
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: Baby comes first, plain and simple, and Opie responds, I

616
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: wish everyone could be like you. It's incredibly tough when

617
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 1: the person you thought would be there for you and

618
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: your child isn't stepping up. I feel so lost and

619
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: alone in the struggle. All I want is for us

620
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: to prioritize our baby and work together, but it's been

621
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: a constant battle. Thank you for understanding that the baby

622
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: comes first. It means a lot to hear someone else

623
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 1: recognize that and the judgment not the a hole. Obviously,

624
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: obviously we got an update. We got an update. But yeah,

625
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 1: I agree with both those comments. I feel like both

626
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: of them were like the first one was like like

627
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: first of all, f jake and like get out of there.

628
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 1: It's like kind of giving the power back to op

629
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: where it's like, hey, yes it might feel hopeless, Yes

630
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 1: it might feel like you have no support, but think

631
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,479
Speaker 1: about what you were just saying with like I think

632
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: she was saying something about like mother in law or no,

633
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 1: I think that was one of the comments, but I

634
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: think it. Yeah, but I think, like, think about what

635
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 1: your extended family looked like. Think about what his extended

636
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: family looks like. See if you can lean on them

637
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: for support. Anyone out of there, just like get out

638
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 1: of there and try to seize a little bit of

639
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: your power. But yeah, he does suck. And also I think,

640
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: looking going forward, really try to pick better partners.

641
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 2: I think it is kind of against the second the

642
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 2: second commentaries. I think sometimes there is a switch between

643
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: before child birth and after because it is like a

644
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 2: big change in a person's life. I'm sure there are

645
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 2: some red flags, but I think sometimes it is also

646
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 2: just like a big switch up.

647
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I yes, it can happen, but most of

648
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 1: I feel like most of the time you have you

649
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: have indicator like sure, like it's very rarely do you

650
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: have someone completely completely change. Yeah it does happen, for sure,

651
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 1: but very rarely does that happen. Usually it's like a slow.

652
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 2: Well yeah, more so, I think like sometimes it's just

653
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 2: like little things, and then when you have the child,

654
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 2: it's like.

655
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 1: Oh it's big things. Yeah exactly, yeah, yeah, the things

656
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: that were a little become big. Yes, but update two

657
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: days later,