1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,760 Speaker 1: If you don't let different storytellers tell different stories. It's 2 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: not just about entertainment. It's not just about the box 3 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: office's not just about laughs. I think you're actually hindering 4 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: the progress of those communities. When you don't see yourself 5 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: in TV shows and movies. It hinders your ability to 6 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: understand yourself, to understand other people, to learn new things 7 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 1: about yourself. Like I can't tell you how many things 8 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: I've learned about myself watching TV shows and movies where 9 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I see myself on this. I'm like, 10 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: I guess I'm like that. But if you can't see yourself, 11 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: progress gets hindered. So it's not just about entertainment, it's 12 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,560 Speaker 1: about evolving and helping people evolve. 13 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 2: This episode of IRL podcast is powered by boost Mobile, 14 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,480 Speaker 2: So I don't know which one I should read because 15 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 2: I have two introductions today. Number one, I told about 16 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 2: sitting down with a comedian, an author and actress, a producer, 17 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 2: a trailblazer, an entrepreneur. 18 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: But then I had this other. 19 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 2: Thing here from Wafa, who works for the volume is 20 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 2: my podcast company, and we said, oh, we have Lily today, 21 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 2: and she said that, oh my god, she's one of 22 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 2: my heroes. 23 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: And I said, I said, really, why? 24 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 2: And she said, she truly was a staple of YouTube 25 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 2: and she gave us the courage to record our opinions 26 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 2: and to not be afraid to be goofy and post shenanigans. 27 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 2: She truly was a safe space for my friends and 28 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 2: I because she felt like an older sister. 29 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 1: That's really sweet, the sweetest sweets. What's her name, Wafa Wafa? 30 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. That's so sweet, Hi, Wafay, that's 31 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 1: really that made my day. 32 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 3: I need to hear that every once in a while, 33 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 3: for real, do you really? 34 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 2: I do? 35 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: Why? Because I feel like that's a really sincere thing 36 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 1: to say. Genuine And I said, the best compliment you 37 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: can give someone is I feel safe with you. That's 38 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: the best compliment you can receive something. 39 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 2: Are you or you helped me manage myself? 40 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: You know, like you helped me free. 41 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 2: You know you've done a lot since you started on YouTube. 42 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: Your career is going lovely. There's a new movie. Thank you. 43 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: I feel like I was gonna say, I'm tired. Are 44 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: you tired? No? I'm actually okay, I'm thrilled to be here. Okay, 45 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: I'm happy here too. 46 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 2: I feel like we should have known each other with 47 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 2: been friends or something sooner than I. 48 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 3: Feel like we're gonna be immediate friends. 49 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 2: I do. 50 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,920 Speaker 1: I do feel that bad. I feel like absolutely, I 51 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: feel it too. You are Toronto, Absolutely I am New York. 52 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 2: Okay, Toronto girls and New York girls I find do 53 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:21,920 Speaker 2: get along with each other. 54 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: I get it's the same vibe, same energy, the same 55 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: type of pace and hustle. I will say, yeah. 56 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:32,359 Speaker 2: I have a little like envy to when you're in 57 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 2: your daddy bag. 58 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, which is not right now, my mom. 59 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: When I'm in my daddy. 60 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 2: Bag, I think I want to do one of those 61 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 2: I want to do today. 62 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,359 Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna do like a daddy bag video. 63 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 3: Thank you, I've gotten you think I could pull it off? 64 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: You could. I'm almost nervous for you to do because 65 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 1: people gonna stop watching my videos to watch yours since that. 66 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: But I will say, become very comfortable of the best, 67 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: a little bit really stepping into my daddy I used 68 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: to just like before, but now I'm full of fleds. 69 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: Just daddy down, Daddy energy for me, Daddy energy case listen. 70 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: I came out really late in life, at the age 71 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: of thirty, the tender age of thirty, and for so 72 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: many years after that, I was like felt I had 73 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: to be really feminine to prove that I could still 74 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 1: do that, and then sometimes I have to be really 75 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,919 Speaker 1: masking to prove that. Ye know, but I'm queer enough. 76 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 1: And I always kept like being like, what do people 77 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: want from me? How do I satisfy all these boxes? 78 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: And the past two years I'm like, I'm just what 79 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: I want. Actually, I don't care about any of that, 80 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: and I feel really good when I am daddy. For me, 81 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: daddy means is like honestly a provider. I'm not even 82 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: gonna play like I can provide, and I things most 83 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: things I would say so like I really do enjoy 84 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: being my daddy bag of Like if I'm with a girl, 85 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: like I love opening a door, I love giving roses. 86 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 3: I love making sure that she never touches a car handle, 87 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 3: you know what I mean? 88 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: Like really real life, yes, operate. Most of my friends 89 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: do call me daddy in that way because I'm like, 90 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: what do you want to drink? Like, don't even think 91 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: you don't have to get up at all. I'm gonna 92 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: get you whatever it is you need. I'm gonna get 93 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: it for you. So I just really like to step 94 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: into that era or like girls falling in love all 95 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: over the listen. 96 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 3: If you want to get into my DMS, we can. 97 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: But I'm kidding no, But I just like really taking 98 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,160 Speaker 1: care of people, and I do with my friends, I 99 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: do with my family, and I'm more often default daddy setting. However, 100 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: Comma slash, I will say ten percent of the time, 101 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: I do like to step into my mommy air where 102 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, someone take care of me, someone open the 103 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: door for me. But it's it's I like providing more. Yeah, 104 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 1: you're your mommy back today. Thank you. I know the 105 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: chest cloths are out good for you. 106 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 3: Thanks. 107 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 2: What season of life is this for you? 108 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: This is in real life. We get into the real life. 109 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 1: And I love Lily because I hate small talk and 110 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: I love getting into some stuff. I want to love 111 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 1: getting I prefer to true glass that I have small talk. 112 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, So what era of my life is this? 113 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: Yeah? What season are you in? Right now? Take a 114 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: deep breath, make sure you give us. I want to 115 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: give you a real answer. I don't want to give 116 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 1: you a BS. 117 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,479 Speaker 3: You're not going to get media trained answer. 118 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: Here, Okay, this is your Oh, I have no filter. 119 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to go into it. So I am 120 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:10,119 Speaker 1: turning thirty seven in a few days, okay, and thirty six, 121 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: I really felt like my life unraveled in a lot 122 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: of ways, like professionally, personally, had a lot of things 123 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,280 Speaker 1: fall apart, a lot of relationships fall apart, a lot 124 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 1: of works to fall apart. I know everyone has that era, 125 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: but one of my friends who's really really into astrology 126 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: with the planster, I'm gonna keep it one hundred. 127 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 3: I live in LA but I don't know anything about that. 128 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 1: Really. People are always asking my rising and moves out 129 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: like I can't tell you no, no of that. 130 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 2: I don't know. 131 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: I don't know her at all. 132 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 3: But I will say. 133 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,919 Speaker 1: My friend who has my chart saved on her phone 134 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: was like, you when you reach thirty seven, so in 135 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: a few days, are going to be in your era 136 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: of rebuilding. And she says something very specific, which was 137 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 1: and you will be forced to rebuild without using any 138 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: of the bricks that have been broken. 139 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 3: So it is going to be a complete reinvention of yourself. 140 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: And I do feel that way. I feel like I'm 141 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: in my. 142 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 3: Era of completely rebuilding. 143 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: No not just career, not just relationships, but like moral 144 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: compass my. 145 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 3: Needs, what it is I want. 146 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 1: I'm likely on a very deep level, I'm learning new 147 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 1: things about myself that I have never had the capacity 148 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:14,640 Speaker 1: to learn before. 149 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 2: Hey guys, you ever sign up for a phone plan 150 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 2: thinking Wow, this is a great price, and then a 151 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,799 Speaker 2: few months later it's like surprise, this bill is higher. 152 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 2: With boost Mobile, you pay twenty five dollars a month forever. 153 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 2: That's unlimited talk, text and data starting at just twenty 154 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 2: five dollars a month, So no price hikes, no contract forever. Plus, 155 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 2: boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide five G network. 156 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 2: They have invested billions building five G towers across the country. 157 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 1: So visit boostmobile dot com. 158 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 2: Or head to your local boothstore today and get unlimited talk, text, 159 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 2: and data for twenty five dollars a month forever. 160 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: Five G speeds not available in all areas. 161 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 2: After thirty gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will 162 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 2: pay twenty five dollars a month as long as they 163 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 2: remain active on the boost Unlimited plan. 164 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: How exciting? 165 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 2: No? 166 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: Can I give you like a small example? Yes, I 167 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: guess humans we can't really change. Okay, by the way, 168 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: so let me hear yours go. 169 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 3: I feel like. 170 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: We're so convinced we can't change as humans. Like I 171 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: feel like I'm quite souborgn So for most of my 172 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: life I'm like, I'm like this and like this and 173 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: like this, and that's who I am. And over the 174 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: past couple of months I have changed in such drastic 175 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 1: ways that have made me feel really uncomfortable because my 176 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 1: whole idea of myself has changed. The biggest one I 177 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: can think of is I have always been an avoidant 178 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: attachment style. If I got in a fight with someone, 179 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, I will be talking to you in four 180 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: to six business days. I will be holding a grudge. 181 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: I will not be talking about my feelings. My phone 182 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: call will not be answered, my door will be locked. 183 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: Like that has been me for my whole life. Confrontation 184 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: couldn't do her. I would break out in hives. Somehow, 185 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: over the past six seven months, I have completely done 186 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: a one eighty to anxious attachment. Where now if I 187 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: do not talk about the problem, but I do not 188 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 1: confront someone, if I don't resolve the issue. 189 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 3: I'm unwell. 190 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: I cannot so this thing. You get right to it. Literally, 191 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: I was like, I need to talk to you. Can 192 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: we just really talk about this quickly? I feel some 193 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: type of way. I feel like we just need to 194 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: talk about it as we can get over it. I 195 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: don't know how this happened, but that is a pretty 196 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: drastic change, you know what I'm saying. 197 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 2: So people spend their whole life and can't figure that out, 198 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. 199 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: So I've changed a lot of ways in my era 200 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: of just rebuilding. And do you like this? I do? 201 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: I mean, now now he's gonna avoid I'm just anxious. 202 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 1: So it's just opposite ends of the spectrum. But there's 203 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,679 Speaker 1: just different tools in my toolkit, you know. So I 204 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: do like a communication. I'm starting to learn about her. 205 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 1: I'm a bit of a fan. I gotta say, who 206 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 1: would have thought talking about things? Wow? What thought? Look at? 207 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,679 Speaker 1: You learned something every day? What was your example? 208 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:46,839 Speaker 2: I was gonna say, And that doesn't stop. So this 209 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,839 Speaker 2: is your thirty something. Yeah, so I'm in a fifty 210 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 2: something and I was just telling we weren't even talking 211 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,319 Speaker 2: about this all week. I have done a little, not. 212 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: A huge, that's a huge. 213 00:08:57,679 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 2: I did a small pivot of this past year where 214 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 2: it's like I don't care as much about people's feelings 215 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 2: and that sounds brutal, But it's not brutal because I 216 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 2: repeat this, I know I'm a good person. Yeah, I 217 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 2: trust so bad that I'm a good person. That I'm 218 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 2: okay with disappointing people. 219 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 3: That's I'm envious of that. That's amazing. 220 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 1: When I tell you and it's not. 221 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 2: It doesn't mean I don't still care. Sometimes i'd be like, oh, 222 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 2: he misunderstood. 223 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:23,559 Speaker 3: Let me go explain it. 224 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: I don't want people to feel bad, right, but. 225 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 2: If it's my piece or your piece, I kind of okay. 226 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 2: Be like, okay, that's what it is. 227 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 3: And what do you think. Why do you think that changed? 228 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. 229 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 2: I think the same thing. You like, get to rip 230 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 2: a bandit, you have to do it once or twice. 231 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 2: You have to be like that's really good. You have 232 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,559 Speaker 2: to do it once or twice, and then all of 233 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 2: a sudden you be like, oh they're okay, and I'm okay. 234 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: And guess what. 235 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 2: I didn't have to go through the bullshit of like 236 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 2: faking that I wanted to do something I didn't want. 237 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: Especially I have to say and I hate use the 238 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: phrase as a woman, but as a woman I will 239 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 1: say because I feel like we're all trained to be very, 240 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: very likable, and something I'm really working on is like, 241 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: you gotta pick moments, baby girl, that you're okay with 242 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: being unlikable, to stand up for what you believe in 243 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 1: and take care of your whole life. 244 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 2: You're walking around, yes, trying to make people like cute, 245 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 2: and that shit gets exhausting at some point. 246 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 3: You know what I had an epiphany about in therapy 247 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 3: a while ago. 248 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: I was telling her about how, sometimes, you know, when 249 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: I stand up for certain causes or say things I 250 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 1: believe in and never believe, people online are mad. 251 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 3: And it never occurred to me that I could just 252 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 3: not like those people for so. 253 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: I don't like you. I know, so long will people 254 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: be like, oh, I don't like you, and you do that, 255 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh my god, how do I make 256 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 1: them like me? How do I make them like me? 257 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 1: I've just been trained that way, and literally, at the 258 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: age of like thirty five two years ago, for the 259 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: first time in my life, I was like, wait, I 260 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: don't like you, and I'm allowed to not like you. Yeah, 261 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: never occurred to me. Never occurred to me this is 262 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. So this is big to be 263 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 1: a woman. 264 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 2: We talk about this with a lot of guests on 265 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 2: the show, where like, you know the comments section I 266 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 2: had Sweetier the other day. She's young and she's still 267 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 2: managing me. 268 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: As a bestie and Tessie, Yeah, yeah, that's what's up. 269 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: I love what. She was the first guest on my 270 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: second season my late night show What was She? I 271 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: love that? 272 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,079 Speaker 2: But she sometimes has to turn her Instagram off. 273 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: Because she's been through with it. 274 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 2: You know, everybody's managing the opinions. 275 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: All day long, all day long to have the epiphany 276 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: of like, you know what, you don't like me? I 277 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,080 Speaker 1: don't like Yeah, it seems so common sense, but I 278 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 1: was like, wait, yeah, I also get to say that's okay. 279 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: I don't like what you're saying to me either, and 280 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: I actually like myself. And that may be really sad 281 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: because I was like, you moved through life for way 282 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: too long, not even realizing you could just be like 283 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: I don't take that on as my own. Actually that's 284 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 1: not for me, but then. 285 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 2: For you, right, you have this personality. People like even 286 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,800 Speaker 2: Wafa's message, I'm sure, she's one of many, many people 287 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 2: that feel so attached to you or feel you represent 288 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 2: something to them, and how much of that becomes something 289 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,440 Speaker 2: that you have to kind of live up to all 290 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:54,959 Speaker 2: the time. 291 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: So I won't lie. 292 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 3: In twenty nineteen, I I don't usually like to talk 293 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 3: about this. 294 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,320 Speaker 1: I'm so annoyed about talking about it, but I like you, 295 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: and so I want to talk about I did like you. 296 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,200 Speaker 1: It's so safe for me. But I learned this lesson 297 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 1: when I got my late night show for two seasons. 298 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: That was a really big deal in terms of it 299 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: being a historic announcementing all the headlines, but like first Woman, 300 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: first Woman, I'm calling it YadA YadA, YadA, And I 301 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: was like, okay, really great. And I remember for two 302 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,679 Speaker 1: years straight, all I heard was people telling me what 303 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 1: they accepted of me. A billion Indians are counting on you. 304 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: All the women are counting on you, Like, don't mess 305 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,480 Speaker 1: this up for us, Jesus. Going back to not having 306 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: that epiphany, I just accepted all of that. I was like, totally, 307 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,599 Speaker 1: all of you are counting on me. Makes sense. I 308 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 1: can't let you down. 309 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 3: I can't let you down. 310 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 1: It took like five years for me to work on 311 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: it through therapy and like really reflect on it to 312 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,320 Speaker 1: be like, if I could go back in time, I 313 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: would do a better job at just taking a step 314 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 1: back and saying, actually, that's not my burden. 315 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 3: To carry, and I can't do that for you. 316 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 1: I didn't even think it was an option to not 317 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: accept that, to be honest, my whole life, I've just 318 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,079 Speaker 1: been like, what is the expectation? Great, place it right 319 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: on me. I will just carry it like I'm carrying 320 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 1: everything else. And now I'm getting better at being like 321 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: I empathize with why you are putting all this pressure 322 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: on me because you don't have enough representation. 323 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 3: But it's not mine. It's not mine to carry. 324 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: So that experience, if nothing else, taught me that I 325 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: don't just have to accept those expectations because the truth is, 326 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: how can you. 327 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 2: Represent authentically if you're being a version of yourself based 328 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 2: it's what everybody else. 329 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: You a setup for failure. The answers you can't. Oh, 330 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 1: that must have been so frustrating for you because. 331 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:36,679 Speaker 2: To have that moment and to and so now feel 332 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,319 Speaker 2: like you would have done it different must be. 333 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:40,839 Speaker 1: But I don't think I would have learned that. Listen, 334 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,719 Speaker 1: without going through that. So I think for next time, 335 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: I'm better equipped for anything else. Now I am better 336 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 1: at you know, I have a project coming out where 337 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm better at being like. This won't be 338 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 1: the make or break. This won't solve every problem. This 339 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 1: is not the solution to representation. 340 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 2: Now. 341 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 1: My own thing is like, all I want people to 342 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 1: take away from me is this is someone who is 343 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: doing what is right for her. If that can be 344 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: how I inspire you, I'm okay with that. Yeah, I 345 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: don't have to be the poster child for all brown people. 346 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 1: I don't be the poster child for all women, nor 347 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: can I be that no more, So I can be 348 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 1: the poster child for me. 349 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 2: And it probably doesn't mean that you don't appreciate when. 350 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: You are well. Of course, I'm so grateful for every Yeah, 351 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 1: so many before me, so many people pave the path, 352 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,160 Speaker 1: all the mindy killings, bianca jokers, all the women they 353 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: used to raise. They've paved that path, and I'm so 354 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: grateful to keep chipping away at it. But there's no 355 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:24,800 Speaker 1: way I. 356 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 3: Can do it all myself. There's no way. 357 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 1: But sometimes people have acted like I could, but I 358 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: know I can't I'm just one person. Yeah. But the 359 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 1: thing is is, too we have these goals, and. 360 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,320 Speaker 2: It's like sometimes we put so much and I always 361 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 2: try to think about what the conversations we have, how 362 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 2: they land for whoever's out there, And I think about, Okay, 363 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 2: so even in this situation, like we all build things 364 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 2: up in our life, one day, I want to do this. 365 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 2: You put so much pressure on something, so much pressure 366 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 2: on something that if it doesn't hit the way you 367 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 2: think it was, sometimes we think we're finished. 368 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 1: But the truth is, like you said, if you don't 369 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: go through that, how do you get to the better version? Totally? 370 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 2: The better version of that show, whatever it is, is 371 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 2: coming exactly? 372 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 1: Well another thing, how do you not. 373 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 3: Get there if you don't let go of completely. 374 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 2: The lesson you had to learn. 375 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: I feel like another thing. And I don't know if 376 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: this will resonate with your with your audience, but I 377 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: feel like for most of my life I never believed 378 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: I could be happy with where I am and also 379 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: be ambitious. 380 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 3: They seemed mutually exclusive. 381 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 1: I'll break that down for me. Okay, So basically, I'm 382 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: a big believer of vision boards. I've had vision boards 383 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: my whole life. Oh, I still have. The mine is 384 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: in my shower right now as we speak, in my shower. 385 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: I look at it every day every day in my shower. 386 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: It's a glass. I know theres a lot of questions 387 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 1: about how it's waterproof. Is the slash shower, It's the 388 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: whole thing, trust me. The logistics work. But I've always 389 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 1: had vision boards and I've always had goals. And what 390 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 1: I've noticed was happening is as my goals were being 391 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 1: accomplished and my dreams are coming true, I kept being like, oh, 392 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: I did that, but it doesn't feel like I did 393 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 1: it because there's this. 394 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 3: Better version I could do. I could always do more. 395 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,120 Speaker 1: And I can tell you, as a human being, you'll 396 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 1: accomplish goals and always feel like it's not enough, and 397 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: you'll always feel like, what's the next thing. There's a 398 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: higher number, always, there's a big project. Always. And I 399 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: think I've just learned over the past two years that 400 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,240 Speaker 1: you actually can be so happy with where you are 401 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: in life and still be ambitious and have goals. Those 402 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:14,240 Speaker 1: are not mutually exclusive. Ambition and being. 403 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,840 Speaker 3: Happy with where you are. Both of those things can 404 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 3: be true at ones. 405 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 2: Is there a key to it? 406 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: I think the key to it. I think the key 407 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 1: is always repeating two things can be true. At ones 408 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 1: we are so rigid and thinking this is true, this 409 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: is true, but no, the truth isn't the great both 410 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 1: things are true. I'm so grateful if right now I 411 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: accomplish nothing more. I'm really proud of myself. I'm really 412 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: proud of who I am. But I can feel that 413 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 1: and still be like, oh, but I still want to 414 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: do this movie and I still want to meet this personally. 415 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: Makes it more fun too, it does. At the end 416 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: of the day, what are we doing If we're not 417 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 1: having fun? What are we even doing at the end 418 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 1: of the day, You're not like that was awesome. 419 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 3: I laughed a lot, like, what are we doing? 420 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so much more fun to do 421 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 2: it that. I've done it both ways. I've done it 422 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 2: both ways. Yeah, you put so much burden on you 423 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 2: are showing you that it's like, but none of it 424 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 2: is fun. 425 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,120 Speaker 1: And then the end goal, whether. 426 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 2: It's successful or not. The six months leading up to 427 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,879 Speaker 2: it was terrible. So what was the point? 428 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,200 Speaker 1: And I'm not trying to be on a high horse, 429 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,959 Speaker 1: because let me tell you, in my twenties I did 430 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 1: a lot of that I did a lot of them 431 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: not having fun, a lot of saying yes to everything, 432 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: very tough projects, very just like hustle, hustle, hustle, no joy. 433 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,400 Speaker 1: And I think maybe people I don't know the right answer. 434 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: Maybe people have to go through an era of that. 435 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 1: Maybe they do, and then they get to a place 436 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 1: where they're like maybe, because I'm sure some people watch 437 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,199 Speaker 1: this are gonna be like, I can't have fun right now. 438 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 3: I gotta pay these bills. 439 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 1: And you can do get it, you can do. The 440 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,440 Speaker 1: dream is to work to a place to be able 441 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 1: to do both, for sure. 442 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,919 Speaker 2: I think one of the tricks of that is like 443 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,919 Speaker 2: stopping yourself in moments in between, like we just I 444 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 2: just shot my first short. 445 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:47,159 Speaker 1: We talked about it, I wrote it, I directed it, 446 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,199 Speaker 1: a shot. I always had it to get it, to 447 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: do the thing. So we just did that. 448 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 2: Me and Brittany did it. 449 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:52,679 Speaker 1: Congratulation, no thank you. 450 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 2: But in it, I there were moments where I had 451 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 2: because there was a lot of shit that went wrong, 452 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 2: a lot of things that was like oh time, I 453 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,640 Speaker 2: was like, oh that's how you do that? Okay, good, 454 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,879 Speaker 2: I got it. So instead of focusing on like something 455 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,720 Speaker 2: that I did wrong, focus, focusing on the opportunity to. 456 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,240 Speaker 1: Learn something and how like, oh, should I get it now? Oh? 457 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 1: I can't wait to do it again. Yeah, oh, I can't. 458 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:14,880 Speaker 2: Wait to try that again. 459 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:15,239 Speaker 1: Same one. 460 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,919 Speaker 2: You kind of framed the show experience for you, like 461 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 2: instead of just like, it's more like, oh, now I 462 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 2: know how I. 463 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,640 Speaker 3: Would get switching the operating system. This is the thing 464 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 3: I'm working on in my brain. So you're probably realizing 465 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 3: that I'm a nerd. 466 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: I'm very like into this kind of way about nerdy 467 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,399 Speaker 1: types of things. We were in our bad right, dodent 468 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 1: tattoo student for life? I love. So I think it's like, 469 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,440 Speaker 1: if you think about yourself, do like an I love 470 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: this tattoo student? Yeah? Is that new? 471 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,640 Speaker 3: I got an eight tattoos in the past month. 472 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: So if I got one that said student, would it 473 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,679 Speaker 1: be like creepy? And we're not, absolutely not. I've been 474 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,439 Speaker 1: wanting to get another one, Yeah, tattoo. 475 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,159 Speaker 2: I just this a little quost recently, and I've been 476 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 2: wanting to put something here I love. 477 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,919 Speaker 1: If I did, it would be a little weird. All right, 478 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: bring out the tattoo artists. Here we go. 479 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 3: Let's do a live baby, Let's do it live. 480 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 1: We are in New York. It probably would take thirty minutes, 481 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: but okay, still operating system. So I'm doing press for 482 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,199 Speaker 1: a movie right now, and it's a lot. I'm not 483 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,680 Speaker 1: gonna lie like your girl is tired. Yeah, your girl 484 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,120 Speaker 1: has been doing a lot. It's really stressful. It's independently finance. 485 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 1: It's very, very stressful. I know we're gonna talk about 486 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 1: it and get into it. Of Course, throughout this whole process, 487 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 1: I was like, Lily, I just want you to try 488 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 1: your best to enjoy the process, and so I've been 489 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 1: thinking about operating systems in the way of there's no 490 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 1: way throughout this entire press chour. I'm not gonna be stressed. 491 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 1: Of course I'll be stressed. Of course to some moments 492 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,159 Speaker 1: last night, literally I kid you, not true story. I 493 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,639 Speaker 1: was trying to schedule time for me to cry because 494 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 1: I woke up. 495 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm really tired. 496 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: I'm not sad, but I'm really overwhelmed, and I feel 497 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: like my body needs to release nothing to cry. But 498 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 1: I was in hair and makeup so I couldn't cry. 499 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 1: So I was looking at my schedule being like, can 500 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,920 Speaker 1: I cry at four pm? And I cry out literally, 501 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,680 Speaker 1: and then I had an event get thrown onto my 502 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 1: schedule so I couldn't cry at all. And I was like, 503 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 1: now it's midnight and there's no time to cry, so 504 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: I'll look at tomorrow for crying. So today, at some 505 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 1: point I'm gonna try to cry. But the point I make, 506 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,879 Speaker 1: we can cry on the pod. Ye, no, girl, I 507 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 1: have an event after this this hair and makeup. Okay, 508 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,679 Speaker 1: that's very fine. But I was like, of course we'll 509 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,239 Speaker 1: be stressed. Of course you're gonna get overwhelmed. But if 510 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: you can continuously try to operate from a place of joy, 511 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: that would do you well. 512 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 3: That doesn't mean perfection, it doesn't mean you' always be joys. 513 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: But if my operating system is set to joy, I 514 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,199 Speaker 1: could keep just going back to that defail. So my 515 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,160 Speaker 1: only goal is instead of operating from a place of fear, 516 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: of anxiety, of stress, just operate from a place of joy. 517 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,240 Speaker 3: That is what I'm trying to do. 518 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 1: So good, That's what I'm trying to do, Just have fun, 519 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: so good. 520 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 2: I think there's probably no quick answer to how to 521 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 2: do that except just to just do it right, Like. 522 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,320 Speaker 1: Just yeah, I think it's I think it's exactly what 523 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: I said, in the sense of, like I think, when 524 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,640 Speaker 1: we're trying to operate from a certain place, the second 525 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,200 Speaker 1: we fail, we get discouraged. We're like, oh, well I 526 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,199 Speaker 1: got stressed now, so this whole thing is stressful and 527 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: now this whole thing has gone to trash. No, even 528 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: if you're operating from a place of joy, you will 529 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 1: get stressed. You will but go back to the place 530 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 1: of where you're operating from and make that the default, 531 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 1: trying to keep coming back to that, trying to do 532 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 1: me and my sister, my Sistan's over there, this whole 533 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 1: press tour, were like joy. We're just going to keep 534 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 1: trying to operate from a place of joy and have fun. 535 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,160 Speaker 1: And even if we cried today, we're going to try 536 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: to go back to the place of joy. 537 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,119 Speaker 2: Now when it's time to cry, when it's like midnight 538 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 2: or that favorite subject, whatever your. 539 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: Time is to cry, can you really just do it 540 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,679 Speaker 1: or do you have to like you can't rely the 541 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 1: hair and makeup during press is hard because I did 542 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,920 Speaker 1: really want to cry. But there is something very real 543 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: about like what being in tune to what your body needs. Yes, 544 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 1: yesterday I just felt a little bit like I needed 545 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: a release, and I wasn't able to because I was 546 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 1: in between events. I can't cry on de man like that. 547 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: But more so, what I meant is like, can you 548 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,240 Speaker 1: schedule thirty minutes for you just shut down and turn 549 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 1: off and do whatever it is your body needs to 550 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,120 Speaker 1: do for a second. So I think that's important. That's 551 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,679 Speaker 1: pretty good because I have a really strict morning routine usually, 552 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,200 Speaker 1: but during this press tour, girl, it has not been happening. 553 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 1: What is your morning routine? I'd like to know, is 554 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 1: your aunting's gonna think I'm a nerd. I feel like 555 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 1: I'm too heavy on the We are all nerds. Okay 556 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: you are you already got nerds? Real? We are your no, no, 557 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,879 Speaker 1: listen are you sure? Listen? Listen? Okay, we are your people. Okay, 558 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 1: these are we are your people. We are you the nerds. 559 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,880 Speaker 3: Okay, thank you for holding space for my nerdiness. 560 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:13,399 Speaker 1: Okay, I'm big on the self the self reflection growth stuff. Okay, 561 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,600 Speaker 1: this is cold in real life. This is what this 562 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 1: is what we're here for. Come on next. Also have 563 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: to say this table call is so soft, it's so good. 564 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: Shout out production design. That's Brittany. Let's go baby, Brittany. 565 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 1: You getting a lot of shout outs over here, Brittany, 566 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: you seem like the whole queen of this operation can 567 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 1: tell you, Brittany, Okay, she's like editing this live right 568 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: now as we go. Okay, making clips, Yeah, Okay. My 569 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,399 Speaker 1: morning routine. I spent a lot of years trying to 570 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: figure it out. I've always wanted to be a real person. 571 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 2: Oh I've read that, there's like, uh the five Steps, 572 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,879 Speaker 2: the five a m Book, the five steps in the 573 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,639 Speaker 2: supposed to read, and I did it for a little bit. 574 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,400 Speaker 2: I haven't been able to make one stick. 575 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:51,920 Speaker 1: I That's the thing. I don't know if I could 576 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 1: stick to any of that. I've made this one my own. 577 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,680 Speaker 1: I don't follow anyone else's morning routine. But I did 578 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,400 Speaker 1: it because I was noticing that my mental health was plummeting. 579 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: Because for you, years and years and years, I would 580 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 1: wake up and within minutes I would start work. And 581 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:04,920 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't like this. 582 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 3: My brain has no time to be a human. 583 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: Oh God, I'm gonna love this already because I do this. Yes, 584 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 1: So I forced myself to start being a morning person. 585 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 1: I force myself to start waking up at seven which 586 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,400 Speaker 1: I know some people listening to me that's not early. 587 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 3: It's early for me. 588 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 1: So I start waking up at seven, and I have 589 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: a rule with my team which is no work thing 590 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: can be scheduled in my calendar before ten. 591 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,680 Speaker 3: So I have a window of three hours to be 592 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 3: a human being. 593 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: So I wake up, I let my dogs out, I 594 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: make myself tea, I sit on my porch, a journal 595 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:31,680 Speaker 1: almost every day. 596 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,639 Speaker 3: Ish I'm not perard by try a journal every day. 597 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 3: I do a little. 598 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,120 Speaker 1: Prayer, I stretch, I try to work out not every day, 599 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 1: take a shower, make myself breakfast, and by then I 600 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: have done three hours of things that are not work. 601 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 1: So when I go into work, I'm like, I'm a 602 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: full human being before I've even talk to any of y'all, 603 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,280 Speaker 1: which makes me a better person and just makes me 604 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,719 Speaker 1: more mentally healthy and helps me not define myself solely 605 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 1: by my work, which is also a huge problem for me. 606 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,880 Speaker 2: Hey, guys, as we are extremely excited to announce our 607 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 2: new presenting sponsor is hard Rock Bet. Hard Rock Bet 608 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 2: is the only legal sports book in the state of Florida, 609 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 2: and it is also now available in Arizona, Ohio, New Jersey, Indiana, Tennessee, Virginia, Illinois, 610 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,199 Speaker 2: and Colorado, with more states launching all the time. You 611 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,199 Speaker 2: can also play on hard rock bets online casino. If 612 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,719 Speaker 2: you are in New Jersey, Hello, New Jersey. Sign up 613 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 2: a hard rock bet and make a five dollar bet 614 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,959 Speaker 2: and you'll receive one hundred and fifty dollars in bonus 615 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 2: bets if you win. Head over the hard rock bet 616 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,119 Speaker 2: sign up and make your first deposit today. Payable and 617 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 2: bonus bets not a cash offer offered by the Seminole 618 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 2: Tribe of Florida. 619 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 1: In Florida, offered. 620 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,680 Speaker 2: By Seminole hard Rock Digital LLC. 621 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 1: In all other states. 622 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 2: Must be twenty one or older and physically president in Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, 623 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 2: New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee, or Virginia to play. Terms and 624 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 2: conditions apply. Concerned about gambling in Florida, call one eight 625 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 2: eight eight admitted In Indiana. If you are someone you 626 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,200 Speaker 2: know has a gambling problem and wants help, call one 627 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 2: eight hundred and nine with it gambling problem called one 628 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 2: eight hundred Gambler In Arizona, Colorado, Illinois, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee, Virginia. 629 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 1: This is so good, but you gotta find works for 630 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,160 Speaker 1: you. You might have just changed my life. No, maybe it's 631 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 1: not tea, maybe it's something else, maybe it is reading, 632 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: whatever it is, but I think it's just more important. 633 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 1: I think what the key is just doing things before 634 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: you become your job. Yes, you know, because you are 635 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 1: human first before you are a professional. 636 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,639 Speaker 3: And this is every day for you. Every day it 637 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,639 Speaker 3: is everyday. Ish, I'm not perfect. On the weekends, I'm leaning. 638 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 3: But again, when I go back to traveling, like right now, 639 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:32,240 Speaker 3: I'm traveling, it's hard. 640 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 2: And also you're a creative right, so it's like me, 641 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 2: so what happens with me? I say, I'm not going 642 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,120 Speaker 2: to work. But then I have this like idea because 643 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,120 Speaker 2: when I am taking time for myself, just. 644 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 1: Make a little note about it and put it away, 645 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,159 Speaker 1: a little note and put it away in box. Okay, 646 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 1: that's worked for me. But I mean just it's just 647 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 1: about finding that time in the morning. And you gotta 648 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,680 Speaker 1: let your team know nothing before a certain time. 649 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 2: Okay, So from the time this episode drops for the 650 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 2: next one month, yep, I'm going to try to try 651 00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:58,480 Speaker 2: and implement this. 652 00:25:58,840 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 3: I want to hear a full status. 653 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,639 Speaker 1: Will I give you a proably you will, well, what 654 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,880 Speaker 1: could bead? What bad could happen? You could you could 655 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 1: say this many hours is not enough. You could say 656 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,680 Speaker 1: my team is not respecting the boundary. I'm doing podcasts 657 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 1: a in the morning, Brittany, Brittany, I know you run 658 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: the schedule, Brittany, we're talking to you. I'm talking to you, Brittany. 659 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 1: Or what time you usually wake up? About the same, 660 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:26,159 Speaker 1: about seven seven seven eight, Yeah, But sometimes what happens 661 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 1: is I get up, Yeah, what do I immediately do? 662 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 2: The phone? 663 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: The computer? 664 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:34,160 Speaker 2: So then I'm like working from the bed for no shower. 665 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 3: Then I'm trying to eat something real fair now, baby girl, 666 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,040 Speaker 3: No working in the bed. 667 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,879 Speaker 2: Sometimes Glam's waiting for me in the kitchen at eight thirty. 668 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 1: See you, No, I know I'm doing this wrong. 669 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 3: No, we're not to get wrong. We're all trying our best. 670 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 1: You're very compassionate and you really understand my journey. Okay, 671 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 1: trying to make you feel see baby girl, No, No, 672 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 1: you're doing right. I'm gonna really this is gonna be 673 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 1: a thing. It's gonna be a one month and that's 674 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,120 Speaker 1: what works for me. But I'm not on a high wrist. 675 00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 1: It might be garbage, and you might teach me something 676 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 1: when when you do it for a month, you might 677 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 1: be like, actually I figured it out. I'll be like, okay, 678 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 1: let me get that tattooed on my arm. You know 679 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,640 Speaker 1: what else you could teach me about, because we. 680 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,880 Speaker 2: Just, like I told you, we just shot. I wrote 681 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,480 Speaker 2: a script and said short. It was always my dream 682 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,199 Speaker 2: to write something and make it come to fruition all 683 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:14,680 Speaker 2: the way through, whether it was something I did one 684 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,120 Speaker 2: time or with so. 685 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:16,920 Speaker 1: I did it. 686 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 3: It was great, amazing. 687 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:22,159 Speaker 2: I can't imagine for you a project this big, right. 688 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,680 Speaker 1: This is a big project. It is a big one, 689 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 1: Like it costs a lot of money to make this 690 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,879 Speaker 1: movie now, yeah, and in it absolutely did. And then 691 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: also a lot of people involved and people counting on you. 692 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,959 Speaker 2: And it's a story that you wrote and then you 693 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 2: have to be in it, and then you have to 694 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 2: show up and be funny. 695 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a lot of pressure. 696 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: There's a lot of pressure, and I'm going to be 697 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 1: so I want you to know that dreams conversation, we 698 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 1: have no filter. Okay, this is my brain baby passion project. 699 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: So what you're referencing is my upcoming movie doing it. Yes, 700 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: it is a sex comedy. Thank you. Oh my god, 701 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 1: you didn't give me the transition. Transition. You don't need 702 00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: you to pull your phone out. You can put your 703 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: phone away, babeuse to for you. This is me spiritually 704 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:03,399 Speaker 1: opening the car door for you. 705 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 2: Right now. 706 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 1: I got you. You don't need to remember anything is okay, 707 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 1: You're doing great? Thank you, yes doing. It is my 708 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 1: first time leading, my first time producing, and first time 709 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,239 Speaker 1: writing a movie. So it's a really big deal. This 710 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:18,800 Speaker 1: is the first script you ever wrote. 711 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:23,320 Speaker 3: First movie script, yeah, leading, though I do write. I 712 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:23,640 Speaker 3: do write. 713 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 1: Yes, first time writing movie scripts, first time being a 714 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 1: lead in a movie, and first time producing a movie, 715 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 1: and my production company's first movie. So it is a 716 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,399 Speaker 1: big deal across the board. It's taken seven years to 717 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:36,200 Speaker 1: make the premises. It's a thirty something year old virgin 718 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 1: finds herself teaching sex. Said so it is a raunchy 719 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: sex comedy like the ones I grew up with, like 720 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,280 Speaker 1: American Pie, like forty year old virgin, but this one 721 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,200 Speaker 1: is very female. Ford Women are at the center of 722 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 1: this whole movie. Women of color are at the center 723 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 1: of this movie. The virgin is not the butt of 724 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: the joke, and women are not written as these kinds 725 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 1: of accessories. They're written as the complex characters of anything. 726 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,200 Speaker 1: I went out of my way to make some of 727 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 1: the men written as accessories, to be honest, I love that, 728 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 1: just to kind of balance things out a little bit. 729 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 1: But it's you know, it's a laugh out loud fun 730 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,920 Speaker 1: I hope laugh out loud funny comedy. But the commentary 731 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 1: is about the trailer looks laugh out loud funny. You 732 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,240 Speaker 1: thank you. And I've sat on a lot of screenings 733 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 1: and people laugh and never tend to laugh. My god, 734 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: my butt unclinches a little, but I'm like, Okay, we're good. 735 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 1: They're laughing. It's good. But it is about ultimately a 736 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 1: woman's journey unlearning shame, because I feel like everyone I've 737 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 1: ever talked to, no matter what age she is, whether 738 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 1: she's a teenager, whether she's in her thirty forties, fifty sixties, 739 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 1: has some level of I feel I felt so awkward 740 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 1: with sex. I was never taught to enjoy sex. I 741 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 1: was never taught about my body. I was never taught 742 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 1: that I could like be powerful or confident or liberated 743 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: in this way. And this is kind of my love 744 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 1: letter to not only those women, who have felt like that, 745 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: but also to like young Lily, Yeah, who for most 746 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,719 Speaker 1: of my life, sex and my body was a very 747 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: daunting subject. I bet I was always really uncomfortable talking 748 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 1: about sex before this movie. I couldn't even say sex 749 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,120 Speaker 1: without whispering it. I never got the talk, you know 750 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 1: what I mean. I never had sex said, and if 751 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,040 Speaker 1: I did have sex said in school, it was very straight. 752 00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 3: It was very hetero. 753 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 1: So this is like a love letter to young Lily 754 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 1: of the movie I wish I had growing up, just 755 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 1: to make me feel slightly more normal. So that's what 756 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 1: the movie is. It was really hard to make. It 757 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 1: took seven years independently financed. Wow, And in this press 758 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 1: for let me just tell you, baby, I am putting 759 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,760 Speaker 1: all of my money like it is. I am going 760 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: to make no money money, it doesn't matter a big 761 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 1: studio movie. So everything I'm doing every place, I'm flying 762 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 1: to yourself. I'm flying myself. I'm putting myself and my 763 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 1: team up by hotels myself. Because you're in your purpose. 764 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,760 Speaker 1: I'm in my purpose. I'm paying for the glamor I'm playing, 765 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,600 Speaker 1: and you know that stuff is not you. I'm paying 766 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: for the wardrobe I put my own money into the 767 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,680 Speaker 1: distribution deal. This was real. I've paid my stylus and 768 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 1: they put it together. When I step up out of 769 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:44,479 Speaker 1: the house, I'm like to myseln, so how much did 770 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 1: this cost for me? 771 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 3: Stuff out of the house just now. 772 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 1: But I just committed to being like, I'm gonna put 773 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,719 Speaker 1: all my eggs basketball. I really believe in the message 774 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 1: of this movie, and I wish I had it when 775 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: I was younger. So all of my producing fees are 776 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,720 Speaker 1: back in the movie. All my writing fees have gone 777 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: back into the movie. 778 00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 3: Wow, we're just out here. 779 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,239 Speaker 1: We are just out here, well out here making make 780 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 1: it an important movies fun Zach, but important because I 781 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,280 Speaker 1: decided that's what this project is. There's some things I 782 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 1: do in life. I'm like, this is about the money, 783 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 1: This is about this. This one is not about that. 784 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,480 Speaker 1: This is about I really believe in the message, and 785 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 1: I really really believe in girls and women. That's the 786 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 1: chip on my shoulder and the culture in which we 787 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 1: operate in. And if there's a movie that can normalize 788 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 1: girls and women talking about sex and feeling empowered in 789 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 1: that way, I can lose some money on that. And 790 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: I'm okay. He did good. Yeah, I'm a really good person. Basically, 791 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 1: go watch the movie September nineteen. She's really I'm really trying. Yeah, 792 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 1: that's really funny. And my mom helped on the movie too. 793 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,480 Speaker 1: How was that for your mom? Well, so my mom 794 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,240 Speaker 1: is and this is not a vanity credit. She factually 795 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 1: was the cultural consultant on the set. We have some 796 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: scenes that take place in India. We're shooting it in Canada, 797 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 1: but take place in India, and so I mirrored those 798 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 1: scenes off her upbringing. So it's mirrored off her childhood classroom, 799 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: her school uniform, the language, and all the stuff. She 800 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 1: was like double checking everything was good. Now, I love 801 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 1: parents have not seen the movie yet. Oh no, oh god. Yeah, 802 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 1: so I'm a little stressed about your parents. Can't be 803 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: surprised by anything by you at this point, that's what 804 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: we think. Yeah, but I will say, you know what 805 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 1: was so sweet. I had a family party a few 806 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 1: months ago and all my aunties and uncles were there, 807 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 1: and my cousin came on and surprised me with this 808 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,440 Speaker 1: cake in the shape of boobs. Yeah, and it was like, 809 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 1: you're doing it and all the aunties. I was so 810 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 1: at These are like conservative like you a group in 811 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 1: a very conservative but they were like, we can't wait 812 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 1: to see the movie. And I was like, you know, 813 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: I do some dirty things, and she's like, we can't 814 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,760 Speaker 1: wait to see the dirty things you're doing. It like 815 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,959 Speaker 1: my aunties are hyped because they never got to talk either. Yeah. Right, 816 00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm trying to feel we're trying to 817 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: hear the generational trauma. 818 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,000 Speaker 3: We're trying, they say. 819 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 2: Most writer like when you write, even if the story 820 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 2: is not about you, there's pieces of you or things 821 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,040 Speaker 2: I don't know for me when I write, And sometimes 822 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 2: I don't even know, Like I wrote something in my 823 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:51,760 Speaker 2: grandfather's name was in there. 824 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,880 Speaker 1: I didn't realize, like, oh my god, I did that 825 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,480 Speaker 1: is my grandfather's name. Oh my god. 826 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,239 Speaker 2: My character does gamble and my grandfather did Gimble. But 827 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 2: things about you show up in the writing. I just 828 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,800 Speaker 2: wonder for you in this script or in this film, 829 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:05,040 Speaker 2: like what. 830 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 1: She's trying to ask me if I'm a thirty year 831 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 1: old virgiin I love it. Well, listen, I'm not gonna lie. 832 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 1: I was a very late bloomer with all things sexual sexuality, 833 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:17,160 Speaker 1: really absolutely because you were afraid. I was afraid. I 834 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,480 Speaker 1: really for most of my life associated anything sexual with shame. 835 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 1: Really I did. That was a really big unlearning and 836 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,880 Speaker 1: I'm still unlearning it. To be honest, this outfit, I 837 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: like asked for my team six times, is it too much? 838 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,240 Speaker 1: Like does my body look? Because I don't want people 839 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 1: to think a certain way of me? And you look, 840 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,800 Speaker 1: it's fine? Perfect I do? I do, And through promotion 841 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 1: of this movie, I will say this movie has really 842 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 1: taught me to be liberated. When we have twenty meetings 843 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: about a jildo that happens, you know, at the twenty 844 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: first Zoom meeting about a dilder, like, okay, this has 845 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 1: been normalized for me. But it really did help me 846 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 1: be okay with a lot of this stuff. But it 847 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: is a work in progress, for sure. There are parts 848 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 1: of me in the script. There's jokes in the script 849 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,240 Speaker 1: that a lot of other producers are like, we think 850 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,480 Speaker 1: we should cut this, and I'm like, no, because. 851 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,280 Speaker 3: This resonates and it's gonna resonate. I'll give you one 852 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:06,520 Speaker 3: example that's really vulnerable. 853 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 1: There's a part in the movie where I have a 854 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,000 Speaker 1: monologue and I say, I didn't even learn how to 855 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 1: properly use a tampon until. 856 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:16,280 Speaker 3: I was whatever. And I know a lot of especially girls, 857 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 3: like young brown girls, they struggle with that because we 858 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:19,279 Speaker 3: are never taught that. 859 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:23,040 Speaker 1: There's a lot of like it's a super big taboo 860 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 1: subject using a tampon, and like myths about your virginity 861 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,640 Speaker 1: and all these types of things. And so I left 862 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,279 Speaker 1: a lot of those jokes in because I was like, 863 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 1: it's okay if you you and you don't understand it. 864 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,839 Speaker 1: It's not for you. It's for all these other people 865 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 1: who are gonna feel seen. And that's a challenge of 866 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:41,319 Speaker 1: the movie too. I'll be vulnerable and say that. Some 867 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,840 Speaker 1: feedback we got from some executives in Hollywood was that 868 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 1: the movie was too. 869 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,000 Speaker 3: Niche, And I hate the word niche. 870 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,839 Speaker 1: I hate it because I'm like, you're saying it's niche 871 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,799 Speaker 1: because I'm in it, and because it's through the South 872 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,120 Speaker 1: Asian lens. But how many things have I watched in 873 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 1: my life where I did not see myself I was 874 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: fully able to understand them. Sex is a very universal subject. 875 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,960 Speaker 1: It's a taboo subject in every single culture. So I 876 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,719 Speaker 1: really despise and have resentment towards an exec that calls 877 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,279 Speaker 1: me niche because statistically speaking, I'm not niche. Actually they 878 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,839 Speaker 1: are niche statistically speaking, you know what I'm saying, But 879 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,080 Speaker 1: it's true though, it is true, and so it's like, yeah, 880 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,680 Speaker 1: if I was able to watch why is. 881 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:20,720 Speaker 2: It not a good story? 882 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,960 Speaker 1: I was able to watch Friends and that was not niche. 883 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 1: Like I think you know this whole idea of our 884 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,640 Speaker 1: stories being niche. And I love what you said about 885 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 1: your short film having pieces of you and you didn't 886 00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,280 Speaker 1: even know your grandfather's name, wasn't it because that highlights 887 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,319 Speaker 1: the importance of having different types of storytellers, because our 888 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 1: hearts get infused into these things and we need a 889 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: variety of these stories for sure. The last thing I'll 890 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:43,920 Speaker 1: say in this, because honestly, I could talk about this 891 00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,960 Speaker 1: for ten hours, is I think people don't realize that 892 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,759 Speaker 1: if you don't let different storytellers tell different stories, it's 893 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,759 Speaker 1: not just about entertainment. It's not just about the box off, 894 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,560 Speaker 1: it's not just about laughs. I think you're actually hindering 895 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,600 Speaker 1: the progress of those communities. When you don't see yourself 896 00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,720 Speaker 1: in TV shows, movies, it hinders your ability to understand yourself, 897 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,520 Speaker 1: to understand other people, to learn new things about yourself. 898 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,359 Speaker 1: Like I can't tell you how many things I've learned 899 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,600 Speaker 1: about myself watching TV shows and movies where I'm like, oh, 900 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,319 Speaker 1: I see myself on this. I'm like, I guess I'm 901 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,200 Speaker 1: like that. But if you can't see yourself, progress gets hindered. 902 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:19,040 Speaker 1: So it's not just about entertainment. It's about evolving and 903 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:20,280 Speaker 1: helping people evolve. 904 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 2: That's why you're out here using your own money. 905 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 1: That's why I'm broke. Now go broke. That was a 906 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,120 Speaker 1: long winded way of saying that is why I have 907 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,360 Speaker 1: put all my money, and that is why everybody should 908 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:33,560 Speaker 1: go and watch this movie. 909 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,240 Speaker 2: It's not just a regular call to action because somebody 910 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:36,959 Speaker 2: needs to make money. 911 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:41,040 Speaker 1: It's not actual, real purpose and heart. And this is 912 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,839 Speaker 1: not a big studio money. This is not a studio movie. 913 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,279 Speaker 1: It's not you like, you know what I mean. I 914 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,080 Speaker 1: should be on a press rare being like it is 915 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,399 Speaker 1: cute movie. Yeah, and it's cute, And no I'm out 916 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:50,560 Speaker 1: here saying please. 917 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:55,759 Speaker 2: Please, I'm out here because honestly, the support that shows 918 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,799 Speaker 2: up for this movie also kind of shows what comes 919 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:00,800 Speaker 2: at exactly. 920 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,640 Speaker 1: And I don't think that's necessarily fair, but it's true. 921 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,759 Speaker 1: It's not fair, but it's true, because it's just reality 922 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,160 Speaker 1: you can have. And I hope like everyone's okay, comfortable 923 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,759 Speaker 1: me saying this, because it's true. You can have fifty 924 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,080 Speaker 1: failed movies with white leads and they'll still keep getting made. 925 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,600 Speaker 1: They will still You'll have fifty spy movies with white people. 926 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:20,440 Speaker 3: Those still keep getting made. 927 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,880 Speaker 1: But if this one doesn't do good, if Never have 928 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,799 Speaker 1: I ever doesn't do good, if Sinners doesn't do good, 929 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,719 Speaker 1: like then it's like, oh see, that's why we can't 930 00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,120 Speaker 1: make those types of movies. It's one and done. It's 931 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: we have to keep proving ourselves over and over and 932 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,719 Speaker 1: over again. So it's it's challenging, it's tough. You're so 933 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:39,400 Speaker 1: good at this and what you're just telling the stories, 934 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,279 Speaker 1: that's what it is. I just no, No, it's not 935 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,520 Speaker 1: just that. It's also the purpose. 936 00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,640 Speaker 2: And passion and understanding of the it is. 937 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,440 Speaker 1: You know, thank you, but I really am. 938 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,000 Speaker 2: I love that there was I was. I spent a 939 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 2: whole morning on your Instagram, which was such a joyful 940 00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 2: place to think. 941 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,360 Speaker 4: You imagine thinks I can be a little looking at 942 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 4: a low. No, I want to make my own daddy videos. 943 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 4: I told you that already you should. But then there 944 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,479 Speaker 4: was a clip that you did after Pride Okay where 945 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:13,920 Speaker 4: you were giving advice. Yes, And there was something that 946 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,520 Speaker 4: you said that I absolutely loved. 947 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 2: You were talking about the fact, well you said, you 948 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,440 Speaker 2: were basically giving someone advice. If they come out and 949 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 2: they don't immediately get the verbs or the vocabulary that 950 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:30,640 Speaker 2: they want to get. Your parents don't say no problem. 951 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,279 Speaker 1: I love you as you are. 952 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,000 Speaker 2: You know, if they don't give you the right words 953 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,239 Speaker 2: that you should give people the grace to kind of 954 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 2: see how they act. Do they show you the love, 955 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 2: do they support you? Are they trying to do better? 956 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:42,280 Speaker 1: Be better? 957 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,440 Speaker 2: And I just I loved that because I think it 958 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,799 Speaker 2: speaks not only to that specific experience, but anytime you 959 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,120 Speaker 2: show up in a way that maybe you feel maybe 960 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 2: disappoints them. I don't I want to leave college, or 961 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,120 Speaker 2: or I'm doing. 962 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,120 Speaker 1: This religion now that's different from our family. 963 00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,279 Speaker 2: Whatever way you show up, that's kind of anti to 964 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,840 Speaker 2: something having the kind of the bravery to be okay, 965 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:07,080 Speaker 2: if somebody doesn't receive it the way, I don't know. 966 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,560 Speaker 2: I just I thought that that I wondered for you 967 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 2: if that was the case. 968 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,919 Speaker 1: I every morning in my prayers say one specific line, 969 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:16,400 Speaker 1: which is, God give me, guide me to have grace 970 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 1: for myself so I may have grace for others. And 971 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,200 Speaker 1: I've learned that anytime I don't have grace for others, 972 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:25,680 Speaker 1: it's because I'm being very rigid with myself. I made 973 00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:29,440 Speaker 1: that video because, Yeah, I made that video because I 974 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:34,560 Speaker 1: feel like it's been Mama thirty six after three seven, 975 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,359 Speaker 1: it's been six to seven years since I've come out, 976 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: and it's been a journey. I think there's a lot 977 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 1: of if anyone listening that has had this experience, I 978 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:43,839 Speaker 1: think people think that you come out and it's all 979 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,839 Speaker 1: relief and it's all roses, and it's not. It's not. 980 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:48,400 Speaker 1: I know, it's a whole thing where you got to 981 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,239 Speaker 1: relearn about yourself and other people got to re learn 982 00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 1: about you. 983 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 3: That's scary. 984 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 1: But the reason I made that video is because I 985 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,319 Speaker 1: think there's a lot of examples out there, going back 986 00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,320 Speaker 1: to what we just talked about, of what it's supposed 987 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,000 Speaker 1: to look like when you come out to your family. 988 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,960 Speaker 1: There's a lot of examples of movies, and there's a 989 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,879 Speaker 1: lot of dialogue online about like how supportive your parents 990 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,200 Speaker 1: should be, and a lot of times those parents in 991 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:12,279 Speaker 1: those movies are very equipped and are in the time 992 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:13,920 Speaker 1: and place where they can do all those things, and 993 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,560 Speaker 1: that's just not reality. And I'll even go further and 994 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,799 Speaker 1: say that a lot of the examples we've seen of 995 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,120 Speaker 1: that have been white in movies. There's been a lot 996 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,360 Speaker 1: of white coming out in movies where parents are very supportive, 997 00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:24,759 Speaker 1: and sometimes they're not supportive, and then by the end 998 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,640 Speaker 1: of the ninety minutes they are very supportive. You. We 999 00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:31,319 Speaker 1: love you exactly. But I think I'll never forget any 1000 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:32,279 Speaker 1: example I give you, And I. 1001 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:33,040 Speaker 3: Hope it's okay to say. 1002 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,640 Speaker 1: Is My mom always explained to me, you know, when 1003 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 1: the Black Lives Matter matters was a huge conversation. I 1004 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:39,319 Speaker 1: sat down with my parents and I talked to them 1005 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,800 Speaker 1: about and I explained it to them, and I explained 1006 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,480 Speaker 1: the importance of it, and my mom was so receptive 1007 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 1: and she was so quick at learning about But she 1008 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,839 Speaker 1: said something to me in that conversation that really made 1009 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:48,879 Speaker 1: me think. She said, you know, the reason I don't 1010 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:50,800 Speaker 1: know a lot of stuff is I had never seen 1011 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,759 Speaker 1: a black person until I immigrated to Canada in my 1012 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 1: twenty somethings. 1013 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:59,000 Speaker 3: So I was like, oh, I grew up with fresh friends. 1014 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 1: I grew up with this versus I have tons of 1015 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:01,239 Speaker 1: black friends. 1016 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:02,520 Speaker 3: I'm really educated in this. 1017 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,320 Speaker 1: And then she went on to say, like, I didn't 1018 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:09,600 Speaker 1: know a gay person until my daughter brought this conversation 1019 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,759 Speaker 1: to me. Wow, it's not coming from a place that 1020 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,160 Speaker 1: I don't care. It's coming from a place like genuinely 1021 00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,040 Speaker 1: was born in a place where I was never exposed 1022 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:21,360 Speaker 1: to the words, the ideas. And now there's this whole 1023 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:25,640 Speaker 1: dialogue online that expects her to immediately have this information, 1024 00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:27,279 Speaker 1: and that's just not realistic. 1025 00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 3: And so I made that video. 1026 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,280 Speaker 1: Especially for people of color, to be like, your immigrant 1027 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,480 Speaker 1: parents probably don't have the experience. It's not that they 1028 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,960 Speaker 1: don't have the love, they just don't have the vocabulary experience. 1029 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,000 Speaker 1: And so I think we'd all be better if there 1030 00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,759 Speaker 1: was a period of grace where we just had the 1031 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,200 Speaker 1: conversation and let people learn, because we're better off. If 1032 00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,759 Speaker 1: people learn and become better than never giving them the 1033 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:49,640 Speaker 1: chance to learn, we'll all be better off. 1034 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,560 Speaker 2: I feel like the whole world right now is in 1035 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,719 Speaker 2: that state, like everybody wants the. 1036 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,680 Speaker 1: Everybody to sing. And I've had some friends and I've 1037 00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,040 Speaker 1: had to politely check a little bit because like you know, 1038 00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:02,759 Speaker 1: when I came out, my parents didn't say all the 1039 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,680 Speaker 1: right things. And I remember telling my friends, my friends 1040 00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:07,920 Speaker 1: being like, well, that's really wrong and you shouldn't accept that. 1041 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:11,520 Speaker 1: And I was like, but no, but no, but no, 1042 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,440 Speaker 1: I have to give them grace. And I have to 1043 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,080 Speaker 1: do better at giving them grace because that's just what 1044 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:17,759 Speaker 1: it is. And now my parents, you know, it took 1045 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,359 Speaker 1: a few years, but we're so great and they're so 1046 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 1: supportive and it's so lovely, and we're all in a 1047 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,439 Speaker 1: better situation because they gave me grace and I gave 1048 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:27,840 Speaker 1: them grace, and I think that's the better situation to be. 1049 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,879 Speaker 1: And and so I don't want kids, especially kids of color, 1050 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:31,880 Speaker 1: to come out and then their parents don't say what 1051 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,600 Speaker 1: the white parents on TV said, and now they just 1052 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,120 Speaker 1: dismissed them and they don't have parents for the rest 1053 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:35,680 Speaker 1: of their life. 1054 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,279 Speaker 3: I don't think that leaves any of us in a 1055 00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:37,799 Speaker 3: better place. 1056 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,160 Speaker 1: I will put the caveat and I said in the video, 1057 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,920 Speaker 1: as long as you're safe. I'm not encouraging anyone to 1058 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,239 Speaker 1: be in dangerous situations. I'm not encouraging any of that. 1059 00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,000 Speaker 3: But I'm saying if someone is willing to learn. I 1060 00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:50,240 Speaker 3: think they're worth the education. 1061 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, and the love is still if they're still love 1062 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:58,320 Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah, grace, just give yourself grace. Those is 1063 00:42:58,360 --> 00:42:58,839 Speaker 1: not good. 1064 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:09,120 Speaker 5: Just my best I have a bowl. It's called real 1065 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,200 Speaker 5: life bulls. This story in real life, this is nothing. 1066 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:12,840 Speaker 5: This is you could make them scans. 1067 00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:13,360 Speaker 1: I already know. 1068 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:14,839 Speaker 3: Brittany handfolded each one of these. 1069 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,000 Speaker 1: She totally died. I had nothing to do with the 1070 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,960 Speaker 1: fo This is not our usual. So the ball, it's 1071 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:22,600 Speaker 1: just questions. 1072 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:23,319 Speaker 3: Okay, let's go. 1073 00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:26,279 Speaker 1: You want here, you pick one, you can pick it. 1074 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,520 Speaker 1: I should pick one. Okay, I'm just giving you a shower. 1075 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:32,320 Speaker 1: Let's say real life questions. Real life questions. When you 1076 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,480 Speaker 1: leave the room, what do you hope people say about 1077 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,960 Speaker 1: you or what is the feeling that you hope stays behind. 1078 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,520 Speaker 1: That's a really good question. Okay, we kind of touched 1079 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:45,720 Speaker 1: on this because Wafa mentioned this. I really do pride 1080 00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,000 Speaker 1: myself in the fact that I've heard many times people 1081 00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,759 Speaker 1: say I felt so comfortable talking to you, and you 1082 00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,160 Speaker 1: felt like a safe space. I think that's the feeling 1083 00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,239 Speaker 1: I want to leave behind. I hope people say like 1084 00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:59,160 Speaker 1: I felt like I could just be myself around her, 1085 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,680 Speaker 1: and I felt comfortable and safe and like she wasn't 1086 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,719 Speaker 1: gonna judge me. And she's like older sister vibes or 1087 00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,000 Speaker 1: younger sister vibes, depending on you know. Yeah, I think 1088 00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,319 Speaker 1: that's really important. I feel like safety is not something 1089 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:12,239 Speaker 1: we talk about enough. Feeling safe is so rare in 1090 00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,319 Speaker 1: this day, and you seem to figure that out. And 1091 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,520 Speaker 1: maybe it didn't always feel like that. 1092 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,400 Speaker 2: But even like everything you've done always seems like you 1093 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,799 Speaker 2: feel safe in or at least safe in your own skin. 1094 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,399 Speaker 1: Thank you. I don't always, I will say, but I do. 1095 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,600 Speaker 1: I do prioritize safety, and so even I remember when 1096 00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,560 Speaker 1: I had the late night show, a lot of guests 1097 00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,480 Speaker 1: after we started rolling would say you really eased to 1098 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,080 Speaker 1: talk to And I said things that I usually don't 1099 00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:35,880 Speaker 1: say a lot of people will say that to me. 1100 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,319 Speaker 3: I say things to you I usually don't say to people. Yeah, 1101 00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:39,800 Speaker 3: and that can say that really special. 1102 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:41,920 Speaker 1: I could see that, Yeah, you want to do one more? 1103 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:42,919 Speaker 1: I see other one. 1104 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,200 Speaker 3: What do the people say about you though? 1105 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,399 Speaker 2: Similar the same thing you said? 1106 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:49,799 Speaker 1: No, I'm saying what kind of but kind of yeah, 1107 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:50,560 Speaker 1: but kind of yeah. 1108 00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:55,920 Speaker 2: Just that energy is like a big deal. So if 1109 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,160 Speaker 2: somebody feels like good energy, that's good. 1110 00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:58,440 Speaker 1: Enough for me. 1111 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,600 Speaker 2: We were just talking about that before, Like that literally 1112 00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,080 Speaker 2: could be the difference. I can say all the nice 1113 00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,640 Speaker 2: things I want to you, but if I feel that 1114 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:05,560 Speaker 2: energy is weird. 1115 00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:07,560 Speaker 1: Can I tell you an hour ago when I walked 1116 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,760 Speaker 1: in here, it was like I was like a little 1117 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,480 Speaker 1: sleep in the car and I was like, oh, don't know. 1118 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,120 Speaker 1: And as soon as I walked in I felt the 1119 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:13,480 Speaker 1: first thing. 1120 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:13,960 Speaker 3: I was like a herd. 1121 00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,680 Speaker 1: Energy is gonna be great? Oh so I feel that? Yeah? Good? Okay, yeah, 1122 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,360 Speaker 1: so yeah. I hope I leave people will get internewing 1123 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,759 Speaker 1: for sure. Mission accomplished. Okay, if your heart had a 1124 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,520 Speaker 1: rule book, what are two qualities that would be written 1125 00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:28,440 Speaker 1: in bold when it comes to a partner? And why 1126 00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:30,760 Speaker 1: we'll record this for Riyah. 1127 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,880 Speaker 3: Someone record this with my Ryan profile. 1128 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,000 Speaker 1: Okay, if you had your heart had a rule ho 1129 00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:37,240 Speaker 1: what are two qualities that would be written in bold 1130 00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:40,080 Speaker 1: when it comes to a partner? Were two things I 1131 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,759 Speaker 1: need a partner? I know it's a very complicated way 1132 00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,040 Speaker 1: to ask that question. No, no, no, I like it. 1133 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:48,920 Speaker 3: Brittany did a great job. Two, I want to give 1134 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:49,799 Speaker 3: you a really honest question. 1135 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,399 Speaker 1: Here answer here because I think this is an important question, 1136 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:54,800 Speaker 1: and also my future party could be watching this and 1137 00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:57,120 Speaker 1: I need to let me know they're watching this. 1138 00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:57,479 Speaker 2: Yes. 1139 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,760 Speaker 3: Two qualities Okay, the first one. 1140 00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,360 Speaker 1: So serious it is I'm really thinking about this, I 1141 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,200 Speaker 1: really really want to think about this. The first one, 1142 00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:14,680 Speaker 1: reliability is bold, underline highlighted, and that has everything to 1143 00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:19,560 Speaker 1: do with my trauma. I have major abandonment issues. I 1144 00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,080 Speaker 1: need someone to show up and show up consistently. I 1145 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,880 Speaker 1: need to feel like I rely on them in small 1146 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:28,440 Speaker 1: and big ways. And I will say one of my 1147 00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,680 Speaker 1: things life, I feel like I can't I can't get 1148 00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,120 Speaker 1: over it, like I cannot get over not feeling like 1149 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:34,279 Speaker 1: can reland something as well. 1150 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:35,399 Speaker 3: So that's for sure a big one. 1151 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,440 Speaker 1: Wow. And I'm gonna be really honest and say that's 1152 00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,360 Speaker 1: my trauma. It's not even about other people. It's about 1153 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:41,200 Speaker 1: just my wounds. 1154 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,200 Speaker 2: To be honest, Like, you have parents that are still 1155 00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:44,920 Speaker 2: like I guess it doesn't have to be parents. 1156 00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,720 Speaker 1: It could be relationship podcasts for another day. 1157 00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:49,400 Speaker 3: Yeah no, but there's a lot of combandonment issues there. 1158 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:50,799 Speaker 1: So I need to really show up and show up 1159 00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,919 Speaker 1: consistently or it really messes with my mind. The second one, 1160 00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:02,399 Speaker 1: I need someone that is a giver. And I say 1161 00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,680 Speaker 1: this because I am a giver to a detriment. So 1162 00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:09,160 Speaker 1: my biggest green and red flag mixed into one is 1163 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,719 Speaker 1: that I'm a giver. So I just told you, like 1164 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:12,640 Speaker 1: I love opening car doors, I will do that. If 1165 00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,320 Speaker 1: I'm exhausted, I will do that. If i am unwell, 1166 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,000 Speaker 1: I will do it all the time. And I will 1167 00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,640 Speaker 1: never be the person to say I'm really tired and 1168 00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:23,640 Speaker 1: I'm not doing well and I need you to show 1169 00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:23,960 Speaker 1: up for me. 1170 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,040 Speaker 3: I will never be that person. 1171 00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:27,879 Speaker 1: I need a partner who will say I'm gonna stop 1172 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,000 Speaker 1: you right there because I know what's happening. 1173 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:31,920 Speaker 3: You need to sit down and I'm gonna take care 1174 00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:32,600 Speaker 3: of you for a second. 1175 00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:37,960 Speaker 1: If they say that, it needs to proactively, pro actively 1176 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,399 Speaker 1: be like, no, let me stop you, because that's also 1177 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,840 Speaker 1: a trauma responsive mine. I got trauma responses. Let me 1178 00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:43,840 Speaker 1: show you what I can do for you. Let me 1179 00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,319 Speaker 1: give you bab And I need someone to be like, no, 1180 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,359 Speaker 1: you need to sit down. I'm opening the doore, I'm 1181 00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,040 Speaker 1: cooking for you. I'm doing this. That's reliability and giver. 1182 00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,160 Speaker 1: Those are my Oh I love this for you. You're 1183 00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,440 Speaker 1: gonna find this? Do you want to find it? Are 1184 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:56,640 Speaker 1: you like? Look? Are you? 1185 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:57,960 Speaker 2: Is love important? 1186 00:47:58,680 --> 00:47:59,320 Speaker 3: Is important? 1187 00:47:59,640 --> 00:47:59,880 Speaker 2: It is? 1188 00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,200 Speaker 1: But that varies for different people. Like love is important? Sure, 1189 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:04,200 Speaker 1: I love my family, I love. 1190 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:08,279 Speaker 2: Some people, are like I really having a partner or 1191 00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,760 Speaker 2: somebody is like really important for my happiness in life. 1192 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,000 Speaker 1: So if you asked me this when I was in 1193 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:14,720 Speaker 1: my twenties, when I'm like absolutely not important. 1194 00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:16,439 Speaker 3: I'm focused on my career. I do not need someone 1195 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:17,960 Speaker 3: to distract me, I would have absolutely said that. 1196 00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:22,680 Speaker 1: Now, I think because of just maybe it's my age, 1197 00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:25,560 Speaker 1: maybe I've seen my friends and relationships, maybe I've dabbled 1198 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,680 Speaker 1: in dating here and there. I am a big believer 1199 00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:31,960 Speaker 1: now that if you have a good, healthy partnership, that 1200 00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,239 Speaker 1: health and joy can seep into all other parts of 1201 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,520 Speaker 1: your life and make you better throughout. Another way of 1202 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,400 Speaker 1: saying that is, I'm in my air of believing that 1203 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,520 Speaker 1: one plus one is three. You know, two people that 1204 00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:43,919 Speaker 1: are really good together bring out the best in each other, 1205 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,040 Speaker 1: will make me better in everything. I do believe that 1206 00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:48,560 Speaker 1: because I've even seen my friendships. I'm right now have 1207 00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:51,080 Speaker 1: the best friendships I've ever had, and I've noticed I'm 1208 00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:54,840 Speaker 1: better in auditions. I'm better in interviews, my health is better. 1209 00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,840 Speaker 1: So I do believe that having a really good partner 1210 00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,600 Speaker 1: can seep into every part of your life. Really, I 1211 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,759 Speaker 1: love that. What is the key to good friendships? Like 1212 00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 1: what do you? How did you? How did you do that? Yeah? 1213 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:09,840 Speaker 3: One have them with women, no offense to any of 1214 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,160 Speaker 3: the man we love an ally a female friends. 1215 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,480 Speaker 1: Goode knows this. Guys, you too could have friends who 1216 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,840 Speaker 1: are women. Believe it or not. You two can befriend 1217 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,680 Speaker 1: a woman, believe it or not. The good the key 1218 00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:20,240 Speaker 1: to friendships? 1219 00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:21,640 Speaker 3: Well, if femal friendship are really important to me. 1220 00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,920 Speaker 1: But I think for all friendships, I think we kind 1221 00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,640 Speaker 1: of covered giving grace. I think I struggled for a 1222 00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,279 Speaker 1: long time in my life because I had such high 1223 00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,239 Speaker 1: standards for myself and others had such rigidness. Oh my 1224 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,040 Speaker 1: friends showed up blaate. They don't care about me. Oh 1225 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:36,520 Speaker 1: they didn't show up to this thing. They don't care 1226 00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,960 Speaker 1: about me. And I really that's why I say it 1227 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,279 Speaker 1: in my prayers in the morning, like guide me to 1228 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,600 Speaker 1: have grace for myself so I can give grace to 1229 00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,840 Speaker 1: other giving people grace in the greater scheme of things, 1230 00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:48,399 Speaker 1: does this person show up to you when it really 1231 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:49,120 Speaker 1: matters they do. 1232 00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:50,480 Speaker 3: Then give them. 1233 00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,040 Speaker 1: Grace on the time they didn't text you back of 1234 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:53,520 Speaker 1: the time they flopped on you at the time they 1235 00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:54,359 Speaker 1: didn't say the right thing. 1236 00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,160 Speaker 3: Like, I think grace is really important. 1237 00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:59,000 Speaker 1: I think friends that you can feel safe with, which 1238 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,120 Speaker 1: we also touched on, Like we just had a whole 1239 00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,080 Speaker 1: conversation about sex. I told you I felt really awkward 1240 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,000 Speaker 1: about Can I tell you the number of my girlfriends 1241 00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:07,880 Speaker 1: in my backyard by my fire pit, which is like 1242 00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,040 Speaker 1: a little smoke, a little drink, And we're like, I'm 1243 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,880 Speaker 1: gonna teach you some things about sex, girl, I'm like, 1244 00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,719 Speaker 1: give it to me. Teach me, Mama, teach me. Like, 1245 00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:18,320 Speaker 1: safe conversations where I can be myself are really important 1246 00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,799 Speaker 1: as well. And this is a big one because women 1247 00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,080 Speaker 1: are not encouraged to do this. You got to be 1248 00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,840 Speaker 1: each other's cheerleader, you know, especially in this industry. I 1249 00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:29,960 Speaker 1: have some actress friends. Nothing makes me happier than them 1250 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,640 Speaker 1: booking a role, and sometimes we audition for the same thing, 1251 00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:34,799 Speaker 1: and we have had to train ourselves to be like, 1252 00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,399 Speaker 1: we are not in competition with each other. 1253 00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:37,520 Speaker 3: It is not about. 1254 00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:39,080 Speaker 1: Better or worse or right or wrong, and it's just 1255 00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,759 Speaker 1: we had to cheer each other on. That is really 1256 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,799 Speaker 1: important in friendship, you know, just really your happiness. And 1257 00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,600 Speaker 1: the last thing I'll say about this because I'm talking 1258 00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:47,200 Speaker 1: too much, No. 1259 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:47,640 Speaker 2: You're not. 1260 00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:50,239 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I two weeks ago had 1261 00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:52,000 Speaker 1: a friend I'll even name Dropper because she's so sweet, 1262 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,520 Speaker 1: Perkins as my friend. I was telling her. All I 1263 00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:56,840 Speaker 1: said was I was giving her example about someone that 1264 00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,279 Speaker 1: treated me really well. I had someone in a day 1265 00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:00,680 Speaker 1: that I was having a really rough day and someone 1266 00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:02,879 Speaker 1: just being really kind for me and treated me really well. 1267 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,240 Speaker 3: And Perkins knows how much I struggle with receiving. 1268 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:12,880 Speaker 1: She cried physical real tears, physical real tears springed down 1269 00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:15,000 Speaker 1: her face and I was like, white crash. She's like, 1270 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,080 Speaker 1: it just made me so emotional to hear that someone 1271 00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,080 Speaker 1: treated you well, because I know you deserve that, and 1272 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:26,560 Speaker 1: she cried, I was so taken. Aback. I was still 1273 00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,319 Speaker 1: taken aback. That had nothing to do with her. She 1274 00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,000 Speaker 1: just I was treated well and it overjoyed her. Oh 1275 00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:35,239 Speaker 1: my god, that is love. That's so good. I had 1276 00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:36,400 Speaker 1: a similar Nikki did this. 1277 00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,680 Speaker 2: I think I told you this Birdie before, but one 1278 00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,959 Speaker 2: of my best not one of mine, my best friend 1279 00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:42,160 Speaker 2: since I'm eight years old. 1280 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,680 Speaker 1: Wow, that's incredible, you know what I mean. Yeah, imagine having. 1281 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:49,440 Speaker 2: A friend that, like you, knows your life the same 1282 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,879 Speaker 2: as you do, even more because her memory is better 1283 00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,279 Speaker 2: than mine, so sometimes she knows I don't even know. 1284 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,160 Speaker 2: So there was a thing that happened a couple of 1285 00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,560 Speaker 2: years ago. I talked about it on the pot. Not 1286 00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,560 Speaker 2: a big deal now, but there was a time I 1287 00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,560 Speaker 2: told my other had passed away for many, many years, 1288 00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:03,799 Speaker 2: drug addiction caught him when I was young. I hadn't 1289 00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,239 Speaker 2: seen him since I was ten years old. A few 1290 00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:08,000 Speaker 2: years ago, I found out that he was still alive. 1291 00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:08,600 Speaker 1: Wow. 1292 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,759 Speaker 2: But in this moment, it was the moment I had 1293 00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:13,560 Speaker 2: found out that I had thought he died. So I'm 1294 00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:15,640 Speaker 2: sitting at Houston's because to me, I didn't seen. 1295 00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:16,160 Speaker 1: My father's insane. 1296 00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:17,040 Speaker 3: I have no relationships. 1297 00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:19,919 Speaker 2: It was really no emotional feeling. It was more like fact, 1298 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,400 Speaker 2: fine thing, right. So I'm sitting at Houston's with Nikki 1299 00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,640 Speaker 2: and some other friends, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, 1300 00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:26,000 Speaker 2: So I met this lady. She was friends with my 1301 00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,960 Speaker 2: parents when they were younger. Whenever she said that she yeah, 1302 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,000 Speaker 2: she she had figured because I already figured he died. 1303 00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,160 Speaker 2: She was like, yeah, she said that he had passed. 1304 00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:34,080 Speaker 2: And so I'm talking to the thing. We're having the 1305 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,239 Speaker 2: spinach dip, and I look over at Nikki and she's 1306 00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:37,520 Speaker 2: crying tears. 1307 00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,480 Speaker 1: I was like, why are you crying? I'm okay, why 1308 00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:41,440 Speaker 1: are you crying? It's okay. 1309 00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,279 Speaker 2: And she was like, I just always thought that this 1310 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:46,080 Speaker 2: story was going to end differently for you. I in 1311 00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:47,759 Speaker 2: my mind. You know, she's known me since I'm eight 1312 00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,760 Speaker 2: years old, so she was always like, I thought that 1313 00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,640 Speaker 2: you would have a better end to this story. And 1314 00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:53,279 Speaker 2: she's like, I don't know. 1315 00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:53,839 Speaker 1: She was like. 1316 00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:59,280 Speaker 6: Inconsolable, hold her head. I'm like, it's okay, so fine, 1317 00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:02,200 Speaker 6: it's special, but that's really especial. Someone cares about you 1318 00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:05,160 Speaker 6: that much. It's so special. I know that's real. 1319 00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,480 Speaker 1: I think for like, not for anybody. 1320 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:10,759 Speaker 2: If you get to life to you have a point 1321 00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:14,360 Speaker 2: where friends like that, friends that will cry because something 1322 00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:14,920 Speaker 2: great happened. 1323 00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:20,640 Speaker 1: Well, right, there is anything money makes you rich? Na 1324 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:25,439 Speaker 1: sounds like Nikki shout out to his friends, friends like you, Yeah, 1325 00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:25,960 Speaker 1: for sure. 1326 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,840 Speaker 2: So if this movie doesn't make you any money, you 1327 00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,239 Speaker 2: know you're rich in friendships. 1328 00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:31,040 Speaker 1: And you know why. 1329 00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,120 Speaker 3: I'm glad you said that because it won't make me 1330 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:37,279 Speaker 3: any money. So I will be rich in friend but we. 1331 00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:39,799 Speaker 1: Will enjoy it. We don't feel seen by. 1332 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,359 Speaker 3: There's other ways to be rich. 1333 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:43,960 Speaker 1: There's other ways to be rich. 1334 00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,200 Speaker 2: Okay, before you go, we have in real life. 1335 00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:49,879 Speaker 1: These are my in real life questions. Let's go so good. 1336 00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:51,759 Speaker 1: I was getting a little teary there. I'm not gonna 1337 00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:53,160 Speaker 1: like some in my throat. 1338 00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,839 Speaker 3: You told me you needed to cry, so I try. 1339 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:57,279 Speaker 3: This mask is not water. 1340 00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,320 Speaker 1: I was really trying to get it out of clothes. 1341 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:04,000 Speaker 1: Those clothes just resistance. On a scale of one to ten. 1342 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:08,320 Speaker 2: How happy are you today? 1343 00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:14,319 Speaker 1: Okay? I woke up a seven with you? Right now, 1344 00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:18,359 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be real. I feel nine with you. I 1345 00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,440 Speaker 1: do feel nine. I feel very safe and seene with you. 1346 00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:23,439 Speaker 1: I feel like I really enjoy your energy. I feel 1347 00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,480 Speaker 1: like I really like our conversation. It would be ten, 1348 00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:27,000 Speaker 1: but I won't lie. The movie stress has got a 1349 00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:28,400 Speaker 1: little bit of anxiety right here. So you can do 1350 00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:32,080 Speaker 1: a nine, which is really good. It's fucking great. I'll say, 1351 00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:36,120 Speaker 1: where do you float? Like? On the average, every day 1352 00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,000 Speaker 1: is different. I'm not gonna lie. The reason how the 1353 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,600 Speaker 1: morning routine is because I start I wake up pretty 1354 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,200 Speaker 1: anxious and I work after those three hours to get 1355 00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:44,719 Speaker 1: myself to. 1356 00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,800 Speaker 3: Like i'd say, like a seven. So you're starting lower, 1357 00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:48,719 Speaker 3: I'm still low. 1358 00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:50,759 Speaker 1: I start low and after work towards the seven, which 1359 00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:52,920 Speaker 1: is why I'm very big on the morning routine. In 1360 00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,239 Speaker 1: a month, I'm going to tell you how it's going 1361 00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:54,480 Speaker 1: from me. 1362 00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:57,600 Speaker 3: So I look forward to you hitting eleven baby. 1363 00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:01,680 Speaker 2: How often, and you're real life, how often do you think. 1364 00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:02,400 Speaker 1: About your legacy? 1365 00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,600 Speaker 3: Pretty often? Really, I will say pretty often. It's because 1366 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:08,480 Speaker 3: of what we just spoke about. 1367 00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,960 Speaker 1: How a lot of people say to me like we're 1368 00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,719 Speaker 1: counting on you or to have expectations of me. I've 1369 00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:15,359 Speaker 1: thought about my legacy a lot. What do I want 1370 00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:16,920 Speaker 1: to leave behind? What is the path I want to 1371 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:19,920 Speaker 1: leave behind? And I've also learned because I said, I'm 1372 00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:21,640 Speaker 1: a big believer of vision boards that has a lot 1373 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,120 Speaker 1: of numbers, it has like a lot of accolades on it, 1374 00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:27,279 Speaker 1: the one that doesn't go away as legacy. So any 1375 00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:30,279 Speaker 1: number of subscribers, views, money, all that stuff, You'll always 1376 00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:31,480 Speaker 1: be like, there could be more, There could be more, 1377 00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,120 Speaker 1: There could be more, But the number of people you impact, 1378 00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,120 Speaker 1: You'll never feel like I need that to be more. 1379 00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:39,359 Speaker 3: I really believe that if I have one girl come 1380 00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:39,680 Speaker 3: up to. 1381 00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,920 Speaker 1: Me and be like you already have off of that 1382 00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:44,800 Speaker 1: for me doesn't feel like it's not enough. That feels 1383 00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,279 Speaker 1: like enough of that feels like a lot to me. 1384 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:47,959 Speaker 1: If you were to tell me that, oh, your box 1385 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,320 Speaker 1: office got this much, I'd be like I could have 1386 00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:51,719 Speaker 1: been more. So legacy is important for that reason. It 1387 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:55,600 Speaker 1: doesn't feel like it's not enough. You know, that's really good. 1388 00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:02,200 Speaker 2: What are your in real life pet peeves or triggers 1389 00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:03,120 Speaker 2: something that. 1390 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:06,120 Speaker 1: Might knock that ten down or yeah, maybe some stupid 1391 00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,560 Speaker 1: ones and some real ones. I absolutely cannot miss the 1392 00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:11,360 Speaker 1: previews when I go to a movie. Really I need to. 1393 00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:12,840 Speaker 1: I'm the first person in that seat. I need to 1394 00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:14,439 Speaker 1: see the previous of the movie. As a pet peeve. 1395 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,480 Speaker 1: If my friend makes me miss a movie previous to 1396 00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:19,600 Speaker 1: the movie, I'm upset. Wow, I'm upset. Okay, I don't 1397 00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,720 Speaker 1: let people on their phone next to me in a movie. Also, 1398 00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,520 Speaker 1: that's I need to focus on the full move a 1399 00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:25,480 Speaker 1: lot about movie stuff here. 1400 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:26,600 Speaker 3: I need to focus on the full movie. 1401 00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:29,200 Speaker 1: Well you're in movie mode? Yes, Yeah, the real big 1402 00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:33,320 Speaker 1: one though, and again it's giving trauma. I need people 1403 00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:37,440 Speaker 1: to take ownership for big or small things. I need 1404 00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:41,320 Speaker 1: them to apologize well and take ownership for bigger heartaches. 1405 00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:44,640 Speaker 1: But also like if you were to drop this bowl 1406 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,759 Speaker 1: and it like you weren't just like oh my bad, 1407 00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:52,080 Speaker 1: it would irk me like, how could I apologize just 1408 00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:55,120 Speaker 1: like well for this It doesn't matter for something bigger. 1409 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,200 Speaker 3: It's like, I'm sorry I did this, and this is 1410 00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:58,960 Speaker 3: how I'm gonna not be stepped on. 1411 00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,239 Speaker 1: Your pretty shoe and I ruined it for the day. 1412 00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:03,040 Speaker 1: I would just need you to say sorry, sorry. I 1413 00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,560 Speaker 1: know I need some level of ownership. What type of 1414 00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:08,520 Speaker 1: animal step on your shoe? Would not say something? You 1415 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:12,040 Speaker 1: read surprised, surprised, But I just need people Like when 1416 00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:13,799 Speaker 1: people forget things or don't show up and they don't 1417 00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:17,360 Speaker 1: acknowledge it at all, it drives me crazy crazy. 1418 00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,120 Speaker 2: This is probably has to do with your shift and 1419 00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:21,760 Speaker 2: why you're confrontational now, because you. 1420 00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:24,400 Speaker 1: Like, I'll reach I've reached the limit of people are 1421 00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:27,080 Speaker 1: taking ownership. Maybe yeah, you like the queen of ownership? 1422 00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:30,080 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, absolutely, to be a ownership crown you should wear. 1423 00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:34,240 Speaker 2: Okay, what do you like most about yourself. 1424 00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:38,120 Speaker 1: Hmm, that's can I just say, these are really good questions. 1425 00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:39,800 Speaker 1: I've never been asked any of these questions before, and 1426 00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:44,360 Speaker 1: I've done like fifteen years worth of interviews. So let's go, team, 1427 00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:46,880 Speaker 1: let's go. Some of these are Britney's. I just want 1428 00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:47,760 Speaker 1: to say, some of them are. 1429 00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:50,720 Speaker 3: Oh you get all the roses from me? 1430 00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,400 Speaker 1: Okay, all the roses are actually mine. My favorite thing 1431 00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:58,720 Speaker 1: about me is the fact that I know in my 1432 00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:02,600 Speaker 1: heart and soul that I'm an extremely hard worker. And 1433 00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,320 Speaker 1: I've never in my life people that don't like me. 1434 00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,640 Speaker 1: They could call me cringe, they could call me not funny, 1435 00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,720 Speaker 1: they could call me a list of other words. I've 1436 00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,919 Speaker 1: never had someone call me lazy. And I've never had 1437 00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:15,760 Speaker 1: someone say she doesn't try and she doesn't put in 1438 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,800 Speaker 1: the work. And I love that about myself. That definitely 1439 00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:20,680 Speaker 1: comes from my immigrant parents. I will put in any 1440 00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:21,320 Speaker 1: amount of work. 1441 00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:22,280 Speaker 3: I'm a very hard worker. 1442 00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:25,320 Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, what is our last thing? How 1443 00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:28,480 Speaker 1: do we edit this? You tell me I'm following you 1444 00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:32,360 Speaker 1: daddy right now. I gotta get into daddy mode. 1445 00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:33,840 Speaker 2: I don't know why I'm like not in daddy mode. 1446 00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:35,560 Speaker 3: You are you been giving Daddy this whole time? Have 1447 00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:36,560 Speaker 3: I absolutely? 1448 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:38,360 Speaker 1: Oh, that just as natural? 1449 00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:41,680 Speaker 3: Okay, that absolutely you know what I mean? 1450 00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:44,320 Speaker 1: M hmm, Okay, let's good. But one last one. Hit me. 1451 00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:46,640 Speaker 2: It's one of my favorite ones. It's in the ball, 1452 00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:48,960 Speaker 2: but I'm just gonna ask it. Hit me, okay, last one. 1453 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:53,800 Speaker 2: If God were to text you right now, what would 1454 00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:54,160 Speaker 2: it say. 1455 00:58:55,800 --> 00:59:00,960 Speaker 3: God wants to text me right now? What would she say? 1456 00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:03,120 Speaker 1: Just right out? What you say? Okay? 1457 00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:05,400 Speaker 3: Would you say? Why don't you just tell me right now? 1458 00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:15,600 Speaker 1: What you tell me right now? Sorry? Sorry? Ye okay. 1459 00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:19,480 Speaker 1: If God was to text me right now, she would 1460 00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,800 Speaker 1: remind me a lesson I've learned many times, but she 1461 00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:26,520 Speaker 1: would remind me in this moment. She would say, a reminder. 1462 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:31,360 Speaker 1: You are not defined by the things you do. She 1463 00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:34,120 Speaker 1: would tell me, it doesn't matter what happens with this movie. 1464 00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:36,360 Speaker 1: Does not change who you are, does not change how 1465 00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,880 Speaker 1: you are loved, does not change the great qualities you have, 1466 00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:40,400 Speaker 1: does not change the fact that you're a good friend, 1467 00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:42,360 Speaker 1: you're a hard work or you're funny, you're sweet. Doesn't 1468 00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,959 Speaker 1: change any of those things. Is one thing you have done, 1469 00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,000 Speaker 1: just like you've done many other things. It's a long text, 1470 00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:52,640 Speaker 1: she texts a lot throw momojis in there, maybe if 1471 00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:56,320 Speaker 1: you prayer hands, maybe a gift in there. But I 1472 00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,400 Speaker 1: think she would remind me that you are not defined 1473 00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:00,320 Speaker 1: solely by what you do, that you are so much 1474 01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:02,000 Speaker 1: more than that, because I know she she would know 1475 01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,520 Speaker 1: I need to hear that right now. Yeah, but the 1476 01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,720 Speaker 1: movie's still gonna do it, yes, and if it doesn't, 1477 01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:10,120 Speaker 1: if it doesn't, it's also greatest subjective. I love that. 1478 01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:11,960 Speaker 6: I think that's a perfect thank you so much, but 1479 01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:13,560 Speaker 6: I think everybody should still go. 1480 01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:15,000 Speaker 1: Thank I did. 1481 01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:17,440 Speaker 3: But I do want to thank you for this conversation. 1482 01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:19,560 Speaker 1: And I want to say, if I to anyone listening, 1483 01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:21,080 Speaker 1: if you're like this girl keeps talking, it's because you 1484 01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:22,040 Speaker 1: made me feel really safe. 1485 01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:23,640 Speaker 3: Let you ask me a really great questions. 1486 01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:25,960 Speaker 1: Do you have like insecurity about your talking? You're talking? 1487 01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,600 Speaker 1: Is you're like a gift for talking? Because I know 1488 01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,200 Speaker 1: myself and when I'm really excited and passionate, sometimes I 1489 01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:34,360 Speaker 1: kind of can feel like you talk too much. 1490 01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:37,720 Speaker 2: Not one single out thank you, thank you, You talk 1491 01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:39,160 Speaker 2: the absolute perfect amount. 1492 01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:40,720 Speaker 3: It just means I really liked you, know I was excited. 1493 01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:43,240 Speaker 1: I like you bad. I'm gonna go do my daddy 1494 01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:48,560 Speaker 1: video I'm gonna be the first top comment, absolutely Lily 1495 01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:51,840 Speaker 1: saying thank you so much, thank you. 1496 01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,959 Speaker 3: Hey, this is Lily's thing in real life. Hey guys, 1497 01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:56,600 Speaker 3: thanks for watching. 1498 01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,960 Speaker 2: Make sure you subscribe, like comments, and check out all 1499 01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:02,400 Speaker 2: of the other episodes we have on Age Martinez I 1500 01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:03,160 Speaker 2: ro O Podcast