1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on dating, on work, on sex, 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: on parenting, and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air, just 6 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,280 Speaker 1: like we're gonna read this one right here, right now, 7 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:25,799 Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours. You never know. 8 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for 9 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: you here. It is a Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. 10 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 1: Subject he doesn't cover all the basses. Dear Stephen Shirley, 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,919 Speaker 1: I'm in my late forties and I'm raising three children 12 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,919 Speaker 1: on my own. I've had my fair share of dating horrors, 13 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: and I would love to be married, but the dating 14 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,559 Speaker 1: pool has p in it. So I've decided to like 15 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: the man that likes me. But I'm also doing whatever 16 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: I need to do on the side to be sexually satisfied. 17 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: My boyfriend is a decent lover, but he doesn't cover 18 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: all the bases. He doesn't even start at first base. 19 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 1: He goes straight for the home run every time. I 20 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: like the ball being hit out the park, but I 21 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: need those bases covered too, if you know what I mean. 22 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: He thinks he's my everything, and I let him believe 23 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,040 Speaker 1: that so I don't lose him. I make so much 24 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 1: noise that you would think we're at the World Series. 25 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 1: Then once he leaves, I either have company or I 26 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: go visit one of my other men that know how 27 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,759 Speaker 1: to please me. I just wish they could do other things, 28 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 1: like hold a conversation or take me out to dinner. Occasionally. 29 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: They don't even call me regularly, so there's no way 30 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: I could ever get caught up thinking they want a 31 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,919 Speaker 1: relationship with me. Before you think I'm a garden tool, 32 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: there are two other men. There are only two other 33 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: men that I deal with. My main boyfriend seems to 34 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: love me, but he's never told me, and the other 35 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: two guys are only there to service my needs. I'm 36 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 1: just one of those people that need to be pleased 37 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: to set truly, or it ruins my mood and I 38 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: can't even function at work. My children get a happier 39 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: mom and better meals when I'm in a good mood. 40 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: Here's my dilemma. It was hard to find a decent 41 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: man to accept me with three children, So would i'd 42 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: be wrong to ask him to step up his game 43 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: in the bedroom. I don't want to run him off. 44 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: So how do I address the sex issue? Okay, first 45 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: of all, you know what, I don't want you to 46 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: think you're a garden tool. I just don't. You're a 47 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: strong woman. I'm gonna say this, you're a strong woman 48 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: who knows what she wants. You do need to cool 49 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 1: off sexually, cool down a bit so you can focus 50 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: on what you have. You need to learn how to 51 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: get what you want from this one man. If this 52 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: is who you want, concentrate on him. And yes, it 53 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 1: is okay to let him know what you like. It's okay. 54 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: You could do it nicely. There's a way to do 55 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,959 Speaker 1: it where you won't hurt or damage, you know, his 56 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:01,239 Speaker 1: very fragile ego in the process. I think letting him 57 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: know what you want, there's no room for fear. You 58 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: can't be afraid he's gonna leave you. You're just standing 59 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 1: up for yourself. I mean, if he runs off, he 60 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 1: runs off, he wasn't the one. Just look at it 61 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: that way. He wasn't the one, you know. I always say, 62 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: no risk, no rewards, So you gotta take that chance. 63 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: You gotta tell him what you want from him, Teach 64 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: him what you like. But I do say now, while 65 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: you're teaching him, while you're in this teaching mode, you 66 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: gotta leave these other two guys alone so you won't 67 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: be distracted. You won't get caught. Your man might strike 68 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: out a few times. To use your baseball analogy, he might, 69 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: you know, he thinks you're he's your mister everything, but 70 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 1: he might strike out. So with practice, you know, you 71 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: guys got to practice. Now he can go from baseball 72 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: analogy spring training all the way to the All Star 73 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: Game and then to the World Series for real. Okay, 74 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: you don't want to then you won't want to need 75 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: these pinch hit these other two guys. So I don't 76 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: think three kids. Three kids are not you don't have 77 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: to settle. A good man who loves you will take 78 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: the total package build from there. But a good man 79 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: who takes you as you are will not allow you 80 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: to play them. So I gotta tell you again, get 81 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: rid of these other guys and give your relationship a chance. 82 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 1: Give it a chance. Steve. Wow, lady, it's so much 83 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 1: wrong in this letter. Now. I could take a humorous 84 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: approach about this, but you're in trouble, So I'm gonna 85 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 1: be Uncle Steve on this letter. First of all, lady, 86 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: this whole way you're operating, it's just foul. It's foul. See. 87 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: I've had my fair share of dating horrors. I would 88 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: love to be married, but the dating pool has p 89 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 1: in it. Okay, that's okay, that's faddy. It's hard out there, 90 00:04:56,839 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: I'll admit that. So I've just it to like the 91 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 1: man that likes me. But I'm also doing whatever I 92 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: need to do on the side. This right here is 93 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: a bad concept. This concept is bad. This is a 94 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: not a win win for a man or woman, but 95 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 1: it's especially not good for a woman. But then you 96 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: came up with this incredible baseball analogy. My boardfriend is 97 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: a decent lover, but he doesn't cover all the bases. 98 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: He doesn't even start at first base. He goes straight 99 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 1: for the home run every time. I like the ball 100 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: being hit out the park, but I need those bases covered, 101 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: if you know what I mean. Well, that's great, lady, great, great, great, 102 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 1: great gread but you have a problem here. You're treating 103 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,039 Speaker 1: this whole thing as if it were a game. Once 104 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 1: you get into the game aspect of the relationship. You're 105 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: dealing with people who are experts at the game, and 106 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: that is me. We are experts at the game. Now, 107 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,040 Speaker 1: women are not experts at it. You can play it, 108 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: but when you play the game, ladies, it almost always 109 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: never works out for you. And I'm sorry because you 110 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: are not designed or created to be a baseball analogy. 111 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 1: He thinks he's my everything, and I let him believe 112 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,839 Speaker 1: so that I don't lose him. I make so much 113 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: noise you would think we were at the World Series. Okay, 114 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: Shirley's exactly right. Why are you doing that? Hang on? 115 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: Hang on? You ain'tbody taking you to dinner. They're taking 116 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: you to bed. We'll get part two of Steve's response 117 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's 118 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters, subject he doesn't cover all the bases. We'll 119 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,839 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening show, 120 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry. The 121 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,919 Speaker 1: subject is, he doesn't cover all of the basis. I 122 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: understand what the lady said, But lady, the problem we 123 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: have in this entire ladder is you're operating under a 124 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: bad concept. You've decided to like the man that likes you, 125 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: but I'm also doing whatever I need to do on 126 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: the side to be sexually satisfied. Now, your boyfriend's a 127 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: decent level, but he don't cover all the basis. He 128 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: don't like. He started like a first base he goes 129 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: straight for the home run every time. I like the 130 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: ball being hit out of Parker, but I need those 131 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: basis covered. If you know what I mean, lady, you're 132 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: using a baseball analogy, and which means you're operating your 133 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: life and your relationship as a game. And once you 134 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: get into the game, like I said before, you're dealing 135 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: with men who are experts. See, we've been playing this 136 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: game baseball, football, basketball since we was boys. We grew 137 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: up playing this. Most women don't. And when you get 138 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: into this game, ladies, you're not equipped or built really 139 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: to play this type of sport with your body and 140 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: your relationship. You're just not design that way. I'm sorry, 141 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: And if you want to play it that way, it's 142 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: not gonna work out for you. So now let me 143 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: teach you a little something. He thinks he's my everything, 144 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: and I believe I let him believe. That's so I 145 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: don't lose him. I make so much noise you would 146 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: think we're at the world series. Well, what you're doing that? 147 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 1: For Sureley told you what you need to do is 148 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: work with this man and get him to become more. 149 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: But no, no, no, no. Once he leaves, I either 150 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 1: have company or I go visit one of my other 151 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 1: men that know how to please me. I just wish 152 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: they could do other things, like hold a conversation and 153 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: take me out to dinner occasion. Why what we got 154 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: to take you out to dinner for? You asked us 155 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: to come over here. You come over there so we 156 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: could do you. We're doing you. We ain't got to 157 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: buy you dinner. We're not fit to take you nowhere. 158 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: We're gonna take you to the rack. And that's its sister. Now, 159 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: they don't even call me regularly. Why you call them 160 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: what we gotta call you, reglafall. You ain't gonna be 161 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,839 Speaker 1: special to them because you ain't special to yourself. So 162 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 1: there's no way I could never get caught up thinking 163 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 1: they want a relationship with me. Now, before you think 164 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: I'm a garden too, there are only two other men 165 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: that I deal with. Lady, you already at your max number. 166 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: You're dealing with your boyfriend and two other men. You 167 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: at your max number, you maxed out. I don't know 168 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: you don't want us to call you a garden too. 169 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,679 Speaker 1: Let's stop acting like one. I don't know how you 170 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 1: think this fitting in, and don't it might have fit 171 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: to go along with this now you wrote in Uncle Steve, 172 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: and I could be funny this whole letter. Trust me, 173 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna help you because you got to stop this, 174 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: because this is this is just a loop you in 175 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: and you can't get out of it. Now. My main 176 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 1: boyfriend seems to love me, but he's never told me 177 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: that because the other two guys are only there to 178 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 1: service my needs. He feels that some kind of way. 179 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: He may not know exactly what's going on. But men 180 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: ain't as stupid as you think. Nan. You say, I'm 181 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 1: just one of those people that need to be pleased sexually. 182 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: Listen to this or it ruins my mood and I 183 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: can't even function at work, and my children get a 184 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,439 Speaker 1: happier mom and better meals when I'm in a good mood. 185 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,440 Speaker 1: So let me ask yourself. So, when you ain't getting sexed, 186 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 1: you can't go to work, your ass is grumpy, and 187 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:31,319 Speaker 1: you can't cook, Lord have mercy, can't I can't Lord 188 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: have mercy. Here's my dilemma. No, we already know what 189 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: your dilemma is. You got to get sexed or you 190 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: can't function. That's the dilemma. Here's my dilemma. It's hard 191 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 1: to find a decent man to accept me with three children. 192 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: Stop right there. You going at this with the wrong energy. 193 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 1: Your transmitter is off. The signal that you're emitting from 194 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: your brain, your body, and your mind, that remote control 195 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 1: that you're operating sends back what you send out, it's 196 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: what you get back. So the reason it's hard to 197 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: find a man that will accept you with three children 198 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 1: is because you don't require that they accept you and 199 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: the three children. You go over and require that they 200 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: service you after your boyfriend has inadequately, inadequately performed. So 201 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 1: now you're getting exactly what you put out. Would I 202 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: be wrong to ask him to step up his game 203 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: in the bedroom? Shirley said it best. That's your only option. 204 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 1: Ask him, show him, teach him. I don't want to 205 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: run him off. So how do I address the sex issue? 206 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 1: You wrote this letter, You wrote a letter that addressed 207 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,959 Speaker 1: it all, But you can't sit down and have a conversation. 208 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 1: So now, since you like baseball analogies, let's go. What 209 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: position on the field do you play? You ain't the picture, 210 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: You ain't throwing him. You know what you are? You 211 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 1: the catcher, You behind the plate catching balls. That's all 212 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: you doing. You're in a squat position, which your legs open, 213 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: catching balls. That's what the catcher do on the baseball field. 214 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: You're in a squat position with a mask on, and 215 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 1: you catch balls. All right, let's leave it there. Let's 216 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: leave it there. If I were you, I would stop 217 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 1: playing catching and get a pet better position on the field. 218 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 1: I would be the manager and the picture, because right 219 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: now you ain't none but a catchup and all you 220 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: catching is balls. Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter 221 00:12:55,520 --> 00:13:02,560 Speaker 1: at c Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out 222 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand as well. Now coming 223 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: up in forty six minutes after the hour sports Talk 224 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to the Stave 225 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,319 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show