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Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am Dramos and this is the Street

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Speaker 1: Stoic Podcast, bringing your daily dose of Tomness Stoke philosophy

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Speaker 1: remix for the hip hop generation. Now, with that in mind,

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Speaker 1: let's get things started with your daily shot of inspiration.

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Speaker 1: Now today we are gonna be focusing all around the

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Speaker 1: Stoke idea of diminishing your ego, right, and I think

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Speaker 1: for me, the grander conversation we're having today is not

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Speaker 1: everything needs to be shared with everyone, right and immediately,

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Speaker 1: the lyric that comes to mind, you know, one of

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Speaker 1: the most genius and well known ones that I think

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Speaker 1: all of us are aware of. It comes from Low

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Speaker 1: Wayne six foot seven foot and the genius line that

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Speaker 1: is Real G's move in silence like Lasagna. And first

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Speaker 1: of all, let's just appreciate the genius of Low Wayne,

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Speaker 1: particularly during this era. The word play here, right, the

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Speaker 1: G is silent in Lasagna. Real G's moving silence like Lasagna.

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Speaker 1: Just great hip hop nerd content right here. Now moving

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Speaker 1: on to what he's talking about how it correlates to

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Speaker 1: today's conversation around diminishing your ego. Again, not everything is

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Speaker 1: meant for every one, and I think this is particularly

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Speaker 1: important in the era that we live in, the social

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Speaker 1: media era. It's this oversharing era. And I think again

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Speaker 1: it breaks into this bigger conversation around validation, which I

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Speaker 1: know we've touched on this before, but it's something that

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Speaker 1: is so sort of prominent in our culture, right, and

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Speaker 1: I think it oftentimes leads us to making moves based

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Speaker 1: on what we feel like is going to give us

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Speaker 1: the most outside validation rather than what's going to give

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Speaker 1: us the most happiness at the end of the day. Right,

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Speaker 1: And this leads to a quote from one of the

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Speaker 1: stokes Atpatitis. He says, if you are ever tempted to

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Speaker 1: look for outside approval, realize that you have compromised your integrity.

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Speaker 1: If you need a witness, be your own. And I

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Speaker 1: think at the end of the day, it's difficult when

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Speaker 1: we're in the moment when we are getting the rush

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Speaker 1: of a job opportunity or you know, looking at some

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Speaker 1: new materialistic thing that has caught our eye, and we

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Speaker 1: can conflate kind of what our decision making is going

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Speaker 1: to be behind it. Right, we might end up buying

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Speaker 1: this car because we know it's going to impress other people,

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Speaker 1: or on a grander scale, buying this fancy house because

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Speaker 1: we know it's going to impress others, when at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, we didn't need either one to

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Speaker 1: really be happy. Right, Maybe we end up buying a

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Speaker 1: car that we can't really afford, which I've been there before,

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Speaker 1: or clothing we can't really afford, which I've been there before.

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Speaker 1: And what ends up happening is after you have that

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Speaker 1: quick moment, that little quick hit of validation from the

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Speaker 1: outside world, they see your new material thing, or this

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Speaker 1: fancy job that you might have even right that you've accepted.

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Speaker 1: Once that's over, you actually have to live with the

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Speaker 1: results of that decision. So the result is a job

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Speaker 1: that you hate that looks good on paper, you have

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Speaker 1: to work that job every day. If the result is

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Speaker 1: a car that you can't really afford, you have to

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Speaker 1: make that payment every month and maintain that car. Right,

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Speaker 1: So you have to live with the sacrifice that is

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Speaker 1: on the other side of every decision that we make,

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Speaker 1: and listen, I relate to this on so many levels.

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Speaker 1: I bought the BMW to impress other people when I

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Speaker 1: couldn't really afford it, and when something went wrong with it,

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Speaker 1: I was putting myself deeper and deeper in the hole.

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Speaker 1: So it felt good to have that car at first

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Speaker 1: to pull up and friends thought I was more successful

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Speaker 1: than I actually was. But once they got normalized that

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Speaker 1: I drove that car, I was back to struggling to

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Speaker 1: pay for it, and it became a burden rather than

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Speaker 1: something that made me happy. Right. You know, even in jobs,

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Speaker 1: I stayed at jobs longer than I wanted to because

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Speaker 1: I got a lot of validation from working that high

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Speaker 1: profile job, and I was, you know, conflating my identity,

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Speaker 1: saying this is who I am. I was combining the two.

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Speaker 1: I was making my job become my identity, right. I

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Speaker 1: was using it for my confidence, for my validation, when

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Speaker 1: the majority of the time it wasn't something that actually

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Speaker 1: made me happy anymore. But again, I was living that

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Speaker 1: life because of the moments of external validation that came

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Speaker 1: along with it. And I think we live in this

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Speaker 1: culture where people are making decisions based upon will this

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Speaker 1: look good on social media? Right? I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: post about this on social media. You don't even take

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Speaker 1: the time to be happy with it for yourself. You

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Speaker 1: immediately go and run to social media so you can

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Speaker 1: get that external validation. And I think when we're making

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Speaker 1: decisions based upon that. It puts us in, you know,

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Speaker 1: really difficult places where we may be in the long run,

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Speaker 1: putting ourselves down a road that leads us to being

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Speaker 1: unhappy on a consistent basis. Again, having to make car

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Speaker 1: payments we can't afford, or being in the hole because

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Speaker 1: we splurged on something designed or we couldn't really afford

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Speaker 1: it right, or being at a job that impresses our

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Speaker 1: parents but makes us miserable on a daily basis. Right again,

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Speaker 1: all those decisions made on the sort of expectation of

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Speaker 1: external validation which is always going to be fleeting and

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Speaker 1: is not going to stay with you every single day

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Speaker 1: of your life. Right now, we've heard the words of

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Speaker 1: lol Wayne, We've heard from one of the Stokes Epictetus.

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Speaker 1: We've talked about how I have been affected by this

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Speaker 1: in my own life as well, my ego making me

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Speaker 1: want to make decisions based upon the noise that it's

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Speaker 1: going to create in a positive way for my validation. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about how you can make this idea of

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Speaker 1: diminishing your ego your mantra for today. But first it's

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Speaker 1: take a quick break and then we'll be right back

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Speaker 1: all right, so today we are talking about the Stoke

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Speaker 1: idea of diminishing your ego. We have heard from Lil Wayne,

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Speaker 1: we have heard from one of the Stokes epictetis. You've

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Speaker 1: heard how I relate to this and how I've had

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Speaker 1: to learn from my mistakes when I've allowed my ego

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Speaker 1: to lead the way. Now let's talk about how you

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Speaker 1: can make it your mantra for today. And I think

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Speaker 1: for me, I love when we can kind of give

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Speaker 1: really just practical advice, right, nothing fancy, nothing sort of

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Speaker 1: whimsical and something that makes you have to think, but

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Speaker 1: literally down to the basics. Questions you can ask yourself

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Speaker 1: when you're making a decision. So when you're making a decision,

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Speaker 1: ask yourself, is this really for me? Or is it

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Speaker 1: for someone else? If I can't post this accomplishment or

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Speaker 1: post this purchase on social media and no one knows

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Speaker 1: that I'm doing this thing, or no one knows that

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Speaker 1: I have this thing, will I still be happy with

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Speaker 1: the decision that I made? And also, lastly, asking yourself

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Speaker 1: when the outside validation wears off, because it always will,

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Speaker 1: will I still be happy? Very simple sort of thought

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Speaker 1: processes that you're having, but giving yourself. This sort of

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Speaker 1: buffer through these types of questions, I think will allow

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Speaker 1: you to make decisions far more in line with really

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Speaker 1: what you want your life to look like, rather than

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Speaker 1: chasing that immediate dopamine hit that comes with validation. Right.

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Speaker 1: I really do think kind of all that we talk

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Speaker 1: about on the show, and all the examples of trying

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Speaker 1: to live a happier and more fulfilled life, a lot

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Speaker 1: of it really just kind of comes down to slowing

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Speaker 1: down a bit, not rushing into decisions, not rushing into reactions.

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Speaker 1: And I think when we build awareness and give ourselves

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Speaker 1: sort of these tools, like these questions that I just

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Speaker 1: brought up, When we give ourselves these tools, we allow

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Speaker 1: ourselves to kind of slow down a bit and not

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Speaker 1: be so reactive in the moment, but instead really process

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Speaker 1: all that we are about to do. Right, we create

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Speaker 1: a sense of presence in the decisions that we're making,

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Speaker 1: how we're spending our time, how we're spending on money,

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Speaker 1: And with that stillness, with that presence, allows us to

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Speaker 1: make far better decisions that are far more in line

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Speaker 1: with what we want out of life. And I think

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Speaker 1: all of us are striving for real happiness and real fulfillment.

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Speaker 1: So to recap all that we talked about today, I

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Speaker 1: love that quote from low Wayne real G's moving Silence

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Speaker 1: like Lasagna, right that if you are really trying to

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Speaker 1: do something, you're really trying to be a boss, You're

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Speaker 1: really trying to be somebody who is on the stuff. Right,

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Speaker 1: everything doesn't need to be shared with everyone. At the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, you are making decisions based upon

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Speaker 1: what's best for you rather than what it's going to

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Speaker 1: look like for the outside world. Right, you don't need

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Speaker 1: to rush to share every move that you make with everyone.

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Speaker 1: You're going to be attracting haters. You're going to be

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Speaker 1: attracting the naysayers, people who might want to sabotage you

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day. Right. But again, when

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Speaker 1: your ego is leading the way, it doesn't think things clearly.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't think about what this could mean for your

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Speaker 1: future self. It solely just thinks in the moment and

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Speaker 1: it's chasing that dopamine hit and epictetis you know talking

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Speaker 1: about that when you are looking for outside approval, you

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Speaker 1: then compromised your own integrity at the end of the day, Right,

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Speaker 1: when you are looking for outside approval, you're making decisions

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Speaker 1: based upon others opinions rather than your own right And

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, when it's all said

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Speaker 1: and done, you are the only one who's going to

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Speaker 1: have to live with these decisions that you do or

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Speaker 1: don't make, right, So you should be prioritizing your own

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Speaker 1: happiness when making those decisions, rather than what other people

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Speaker 1: are going to be thinking, you know, rather than prioritizing

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Speaker 1: the feedback you're going to get from others. Again, you're

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Speaker 1: the only one who has to live with those decisions.

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Speaker 1: And I try and learn from my own mistakes. I've

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Speaker 1: been there before. I've bought the fancy car for outside validation,

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Speaker 1: only to put myself in financial stress because it was

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Speaker 1: something I couldn't actually afford. Again, that was me letting

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Speaker 1: ego and wanting outside validation from the world for them

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Speaker 1: to think that I was more successful than I was,

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Speaker 1: And as a result, I added a burden too my

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Speaker 1: life that lasted for a few years and added unnecessary stress,

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Speaker 1: which then of course diminished my own happiness on a

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Speaker 1: regular basis. And all of that done just for ego,

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Speaker 1: just for the outside validation and approval of others, And

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Speaker 1: it is no way to live now. With that said,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for checking out the Street Stoke Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Do your best to apply these concepts that we discussed

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Speaker 1: into your everyday life, and I will catch you next time.

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Speaker 1: The Street Stoke Podcast is a production of Iheart's Michael

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Speaker 1: Thura Podcast Network