Speaker 1: Welcome to Creature Feature, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Creature feature. It's Creature Cringle Time, a holiday special about
Speaker 1: our furry friends. Today, we'll learn how Santa could revolved
Speaker 1: by stealing pace ly d in a imagination station. Animals
Speaker 1: of you join us as we learn, explore and learn.
Speaker 1: We shall make us Santa out of Venomon's festive by
Speaker 1: a logical mutant creature feature the Holiday special. But we
Speaker 1: will not be singing the whole time. I promise stay here,
Speaker 1: Please don't go. Happy Holidays everyone. It's me Katie Golden,
Speaker 1: our host of many parasites. On this two part holiday special,
Speaker 1: We'll be creating our own non denominational holiday using evolutionary
Speaker 1: biology to make this magical time of year scientifically accurate.
Speaker 1: We'll make our own better Santa out of animal DNA,
Speaker 1: learning about these animals along the way. Happy Creature Crane,
Speaker 1: Happy Creature Crane, Happy Creature Crane joining me today to
Speaker 1: create a new holiday out of spare animal parts is
Speaker 1: comedian co host of The Bechdel Cast, screenplay writer of
Speaker 1: Santa University, Jamie Loftus. Hello, Hello, I love the holiday
Speaker 1: credits credit through special. Yes, I I am a big
Speaker 1: fan of Santa University. Thank you so much. You should
Speaker 1: be in it this. I'd love to you. I will
Speaker 1: write you apart to thank you. Thank you so like
Speaker 1: I implied in that song that I practiced, Um, we
Speaker 1: will be creating our own Santa. I want to make
Speaker 1: a nondenominational, scientifically accurate holiday called creature Kringle nous or
Speaker 1: sorry no creature Kringle times. And we're gonna be, yeah,
Speaker 1: making a Santa out of various animals. And so to
Speaker 1: do this, I have horrifying well yes, but I have
Speaker 1: broken down Santa into his let's see one, two, three, four,
Speaker 1: five basic components santaus And let me know if you
Speaker 1: agree with this. Right, it's his longevity first of all,
Speaker 1: because he's immortal unless you're of the unless you're of
Speaker 1: the Tim Allen like, he gets replaced by a new Santa,
Speaker 1: which I'm actually not a believer in that. Um on
Speaker 1: Santa University, the Santa is killed every year. I see.
Speaker 1: But um, that's a brutalist at the pretty brutal lamb.
Speaker 1: I do like it, though, I do like it. It It
Speaker 1: is I mean for viole and say it's worth it.
Speaker 1: But but okay, so Tim Allen is not involved. Tim
Speaker 1: Allen is not a good No, there's no Republican. That's good.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear it. Um. He also has the
Speaker 1: ability to fly around the globe, which I think is
Speaker 1: very important for a Santa. Y it's key. He has
Speaker 1: a very good memory and a naughty and nice list,
Speaker 1: so he is able to hold onto a grudge for
Speaker 1: quite some time. Yes, And he has a jolly belly
Speaker 1: and a big booming laugh. Yes. And I think that
Speaker 1: is basically Santa. You mix those ingredients together, you've got
Speaker 1: yourself a Santa. Yeah. That and um, you know, bad
Speaker 1: labor practices that is true? Are well, actually we don't know.
Speaker 1: I you know, I got the feeling that Tim Allen's
Speaker 1: elves were like unionized. Maybe I would hope, so shouldn't
Speaker 1: unionize people should figure out if that David Krumholt delf
Speaker 1: that was a part of the union. You don't know,
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, I feel like once we're done
Speaker 1: with this Santa, it's gonna be so scary. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it could employ any elves. I think it would.
Speaker 1: Everyone will be enslaved to this Santa. But you know, well,
Speaker 1: well we'll see what happens here sounds jolly to me,
Speaker 1: very jolly times. So let's talk about that immortality thing,
Speaker 1: because that's that's the key thing to Santa is either
Speaker 1: he must be replaced by a new Santa every year
Speaker 1: in sort of the Santa Death Arena, that of Santa
Speaker 1: University or the Big Game, right, or he must be immortal,
Speaker 1: because you can't have a Santa that just dies and
Speaker 1: isn't replaced by new Santa, like you can't have a
Speaker 1: Christmas year or sorry, a Creature Kringle Times year where
Speaker 1: you tell the children no, no, uh, Santa is dead.
Speaker 1: He's not coming back right now. That that would be
Speaker 1: mean a big good. It would be a bad thing
Speaker 1: for the economy though, it would be a disasters for
Speaker 1: the economy in the industry. Santa is dead of your
Speaker 1: head right. So in fact, if you look into the
Speaker 1: animal Kingdom, there are animals who, hypothetically speaking, are immortal.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so let's look at the hydra, and the
Speaker 1: Hydra is a genus of tiny aquatic animals that are
Speaker 1: only a few millimeters long. They kind of unfortunately they
Speaker 1: look a little bit like a wiener with some tentacles
Speaker 1: on it. I will show you Oh, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it looks exactly like that. Yeah, no, I mean I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not even having a dirty potty mouth. Looks
Speaker 1: exactly like tentacles on it. That is not one of
Speaker 1: those like ink blots that you're just projecting on. It
Speaker 1: looks just photo realistically what it looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So,
Speaker 1: as far as scientists can tell, they don't age. They
Speaker 1: are biologically immortal, meaning that they're not actually they're not
Speaker 1: magically immortal. If you squish one, it will die. You
Speaker 1: can destroy a hydra, but they do not grow old
Speaker 1: and die, and they only perish because of predation or
Speaker 1: other environmental factors. Okay, so if they're in ideal conditions,
Speaker 1: they'll never die exactly. So the cells of hydras are
Speaker 1: able to infinitely self renew, so theoretically they could live forever.
Speaker 1: And this is because that their cells are stem cells
Speaker 1: or a lot of their cells are stem cells, which
Speaker 1: means that they're able to continuously divide and differentiate into
Speaker 1: whichever cell type the body needs. Wow. Okay, and so really,
Speaker 1: is there any knowledge of like how old the oldest
Speaker 1: hydra is or how can you tell how old one is?
Speaker 1: That's a very good question. I don't know that they
Speaker 1: have found like a super old hydra, probably just because
Speaker 1: they get eaten so much because they're so tiny. But
Speaker 1: they kept them in the lab and they found no
Speaker 1: signs of aging or deterioration over good chunk of time.
Speaker 1: That's incredible. Yeah, And one biology researcher Daniel Martinez said, quote,
Speaker 1: I do believe that an individual hydro can live forever
Speaker 1: under the right circumstances. So let's make those circumstances happen, Jamie. Right,
Speaker 1: we just need to make an ideal, Okay, So it's like,
Speaker 1: as long as Santa is protected right, right, and he
Speaker 1: doesn't get into any fights or maybe bad winters. I
Speaker 1: don't know if they're affected by weather. We need to
Speaker 1: make us Santa that is the an apex predator Santa exactly,
Speaker 1: and it moves kind of the same exactly, so that
Speaker 1: Santa that can survive in different environments, so that it's
Speaker 1: cells can endlessly reproduce because it is has that hydra
Speaker 1: DNA and it it is all stem cells. So you
Speaker 1: chop off a leg, it regrows it. SpongeBob, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: like spob. Dang, it should have just called this episode
Speaker 1: SpongeBob is Santa This. I think this animal has points
Speaker 1: in favor both of the the apex predator and also
Speaker 1: being able to fly around the globe. So I want
Speaker 1: to talk about and I have actually talked about this
Speaker 1: animal on the show before on Go Home Nature, You're Drunk.
Speaker 1: But this is the cats actalists. It is an extinct
Speaker 1: pterosaur and parosaurs were winged reptiles of the Messozoic era,
Speaker 1: so that includes like pterodactyls, and they're not actually dinosaurs.
Speaker 1: It's just a different, different group of animals, but they
Speaker 1: you know, dinosaur times though they were peers, yes there,
Speaker 1: peers with colleagues. One might say, we don't know they're friends.
Speaker 1: Well maybe not, it could be friends, but we know
Speaker 1: at least that they were around. Yes, exactly. So the
Speaker 1: cats acotaist north Ropy was as tall as a giraffe,
Speaker 1: probably walked like a giraffe on the ground too, uh,
Speaker 1: and had a thirty five ft wingspan. So it's about
Speaker 1: the size of a Cessna two airplane. It's just like
Speaker 1: a flying draft. Yeah. I like that sounds like some
Speaker 1: some deviant arch right right. That's um, that's my Tara Sona.
Speaker 1: So here here we go. Here is this fella? Whoa
Speaker 1: that is not what? I wow. Gigantic beak, two huge beak,
Speaker 1: big strong, meaty neck, wings, claws, tall as a giraffe.
Speaker 1: Probably had some furry feathers like not for but primitive
Speaker 1: feathers that kept it warm. And yeah, just like it,
Speaker 1: I know right, it like friendly. I feel like this
Speaker 1: is a good framework for our our Santa. Was it
Speaker 1: a herbivore carnivore? No, it was definitely carnivore. It was.
Speaker 1: It was a mean draffe. I mean, I wouldn't say
Speaker 1: mean just you don't have to like you. I feel
Speaker 1: like if you know, like you wouldn't call a lion
Speaker 1: mean it's just eats. I would call a lion mean
Speaker 1: you know, yeah they're see we got uh. And so
Speaker 1: there was some controversy over whether these things could fly,
Speaker 1: because it's really hard to imagine a giraffe sized creature
Speaker 1: being able to fly. Usually it's just a little birdies
Speaker 1: and even the bigger birds can't really fly so good.
Speaker 1: And so in professor of biomechanics at Chatham University, my
Speaker 1: Cabban British paleontologist Mark Wooden teamed up to create a
Speaker 1: computer model of the cats Cootalists and found that it
Speaker 1: could fly, and it flew up to eighty miles per
Speaker 1: hour for ten days at altitudes of fifteen thousand feet
Speaker 1: according to their how a computer model. Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it was in terms of like preserving your
Speaker 1: energy for that long too, Like I feel like you
Speaker 1: need to have a few just reindeer in your big
Speaker 1: mouth to snack on, right, Like, oh, you would just
Speaker 1: like take some snacks for the ride, exactly, keep it
Speaker 1: in the side of your beak and your big big beak.
Speaker 1: Maybe they had like a gol or pouch sort of
Speaker 1: like bird's beach, you know. Yeah, yeah, I think that now.
Speaker 1: Of course, eighty miles per hour even though it could
Speaker 1: fly up to ten days, and I think that would
Speaker 1: still not be one night of of trans traversing the world.
Speaker 1: So you have to mix in a little bit of
Speaker 1: peregrine falcon. So Peregrine falcons are birds of prey found
Speaker 1: almost all over the world. They're highly successful urban adapters.
Speaker 1: They do well in a lot of different environments, so
Speaker 1: they're kind of good, good to mix into the Santa
Speaker 1: salad that I'm making. So they're medium size they're a
Speaker 1: little over a foot in length with a wingspan of
Speaker 1: thirty The females are a little larger than males. Always
Speaker 1: like pointing that out for feminism, you know. And they
Speaker 1: can fly. They can fly up to two hundred forty
Speaker 1: miles per hour and there we go. Now we've got
Speaker 1: some speed during its hunting stoop, which is a dive
Speaker 1: towards its prey items, and usually it preys on other birds.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it does small rodents and reptiles, but mostly other
Speaker 1: birds because they like I think they just enjoy the
Speaker 1: sport of it. Like, you know, you can fly, I
Speaker 1: can fly, but I can just for love game. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So because of their high speed dive, they can kill
Speaker 1: larger birds like sandhill cranes, which are pretty I would
Speaker 1: say they're about two and a half feet tall. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're they're on the larger side compared to these little
Speaker 1: peregrine falcons, but they just are so fast, they're like
Speaker 1: they themselves are like a bullet. And they can also
Speaker 1: catch tiny swift birds like hunting birds, so they've got
Speaker 1: a good range of prey that they are capable of
Speaker 1: snatching out of the sky. Yeah. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: due to the peregrine falcon speed, it's adaptability around the globe,
Speaker 1: and its precision. It's DNA would be a very nice
Speaker 1: addition to our Santa um. So for our Santa, I
Speaker 1: just want to make sure that I'm picturing the schematics. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: does the Santa fly or or the required or is
Speaker 1: it right? I mean, I think that we're going to
Speaker 1: just combine it all into stream. We're gonna streamline our Santa.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get rid of all of the yeggs. We're
Speaker 1: gonna get rid of all of the sort of bells
Speaker 1: and whistles that don't know regular hardware too much. So
Speaker 1: let's put it all in our big cats a codal
Speaker 1: claws Santa or hydro cats a total cloths. This Santa
Speaker 1: straight up flies on his own strata flights, so he's
Speaker 1: got Now. Some science purists out there might say that, oh,
Speaker 1: peregrine falcon can fly that fast because it's smaller than
Speaker 1: it cats a cuotalist, and it can build up speed
Speaker 1: by diving down. But I would argue, I think, now
Speaker 1: I'm not physics. You're not, I, Katie Golden, am not physics.
Speaker 1: I think larger objects do fall faster right, listen, m
Speaker 1: I Jamie Long just am not physics, right, but sounds
Speaker 1: good to me, right, And of course I'm sure drag
Speaker 1: has something to do with it. You don't want too
Speaker 1: much drag. But if you have a streamlined cats a
Speaker 1: quotalists and immortal cats a quotalists with hydro d NA
Speaker 1: who has the precision diving skills of a Paregrine falcon,
Speaker 1: I feel like it could get You can get as
Speaker 1: fast as a plane, right it would? Yes, yeah, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I can't say as a physicist, but I can say
Speaker 1: yes for sure. This may require sort of a a
Speaker 1: dive bombing of houses. People would probably be destroyed. But
Speaker 1: I mean, but it's with these sorts of things you
Speaker 1: can't know until you try. You don't until you make
Speaker 1: the prototype, name it, get to know it. If it
Speaker 1: doesn't work out, we'll just kill it. How do you like?
Speaker 1: Do you like hydro kstal clause? I like. I think
Speaker 1: it fall. It trips right off the time it does.
Speaker 1: I think it's sort of like a sweet honey off
Speaker 1: off the mouth. I think it'll be great for merchandizing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: people will want that actual figure. It's good on a mug. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. We're going to teach a new generation how
Speaker 1: to spell hydrototal clause. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the DNA of
Speaker 1: a hydra, the body of a catsicotalists, and the clause
Speaker 1: of a man that sounds like the introduct sugar the
Speaker 1: power of girls, adding some sugar and spice and chemical
Speaker 1: X and chemical X. It turns out chemical X is
Speaker 1: a ground up peregrine falcon. No kidding. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: want to say that. That's that is what it is.
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Speaker 1: Santa has a frighteningly good memory. He knows which kids
Speaker 1: are naughty and nice and dolls out his sentences accordingly.
Speaker 1: So to make our own Santa will need to borrow
Speaker 1: from some animals with a great memory. When you think
Speaker 1: of the top animal when it comes to recollection, you
Speaker 1: might think of an elephant. Do elephants actually have great memory?
Speaker 1: Or is the phrase an elephant never forgets just a
Speaker 1: big honkin why? In fact, this seems to be one
Speaker 1: saying that's actually based in biological fact. Observations have shown
Speaker 1: that they seem excited when being introduced to a familiar elephant,
Speaker 1: even if they haven't seen each other in over two decades.
Speaker 1: Elephants also have long term memory for successful traveling routs,
Speaker 1: their comrades, and traumatic experiences. They even learned that strangers
Speaker 1: are more likely to attack elderly matriarchs. That's right, These
Speaker 1: elephants are a matriarchy as opposed to younger matriarchs, so
Speaker 1: they'll huddle more defensively when a stranger approaches when they
Speaker 1: know that they have an older matriarch. But having an
Speaker 1: older matriarch can come in handy. A study found that
Speaker 1: older elephants learned from past traumas. From nineteen fifty eight
Speaker 1: to nineteen sixty one, there was a terrible drought in
Speaker 1: Tanzania's Tarrania National Park that killed off African elephant calves
Speaker 1: at ten times the normal rate. Elephant matriarchs that were
Speaker 1: at least five years or older at the time remembered.
Speaker 1: So in ninetee, when conditions indicated another drought may happen,
Speaker 1: they led their herd to migrate and to find another
Speaker 1: area more suitable, whereas younger elephant matriarchs did not and
Speaker 1: suffered a greater loss of calves. So we could give
Speaker 1: our Bio Santa some elephant DNN called today. But I
Speaker 1: want to give him such a powerful mixture of strong
Speaker 1: minded animals that he never forgets a single knotty act ever,
Speaker 1: holding a grudge for his eternal life. I like it, okay.
Speaker 1: So this would be able to remember, not just whether
Speaker 1: a child was not or nice this year, but it's
Speaker 1: previous record of you know, maybe improvements were made, maybe
Speaker 1: they've taken a sort of dip, right right, Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I don't want to make it seem like hydroquotal clause
Speaker 1: is sorry, hydro cats a cootal clause. He's a monster.
Speaker 1: I don't think like if you pee your pants once,
Speaker 1: I don't think he'll eat you. If you pee your
Speaker 1: pants on purpose multiple times, maybe, but then if you
Speaker 1: improve over the years, maybe he'll give you pass. He'll
Speaker 1: start to I think that, you know, improvement over time
Speaker 1: would be a big incur I mean, he's not a monster.
Speaker 1: He just looks and sounds like he's sort of a
Speaker 1: Doctor Manhattan sort of character where he's impartial and he's
Speaker 1: an impartial judge in a way, but he's got more passion.
Speaker 1: I think he's a passionate well. I feel like he
Speaker 1: also knows some child psychologists too. Um that maybe that's
Speaker 1: and and that could be a roundabout gift is the
Speaker 1: gift of child therapy, I think is in order for
Speaker 1: any child that comes across the Santa that we're making.
Speaker 1: So let's give him some more animal DNA so that
Speaker 1: he's got a memory. Now I do want to um,
Speaker 1: I'm probably going to get some strongly worded letters from
Speaker 1: the Academy of Science is saying you can't just smoosh
Speaker 1: a bunch of DNA together to create a new animal.
Speaker 1: To you, I would say, where's your holiday spirit? Exactly?
Speaker 1: Did you lose it when you did all your sis?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, doctor Scrooge. The science community is notoriously grin
Speaker 1: chy PhD in grinchiness. So we'll continue. So let's give
Speaker 1: our Santa some dolphin brains, right, So dolphins have pretty
Speaker 1: dang good memories. Researchers found dolphins can remember the calls
Speaker 1: specific to their friends for up to twenty years. And
Speaker 1: dolphins are pretty neat because they have some little squeaks
Speaker 1: and whistles that are these specific calls that kind of
Speaker 1: in a way act as names for each other. It's
Speaker 1: like an identifying call. It's like their calling card, sort
Speaker 1: of like catchphrase. Like when I walk into room and like,
Speaker 1: is everyone having a golden time? It's golden all right?
Speaker 1: And then we all cheer, stand up and cheer, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: going for the gold. Then are like, hi, it's a
Speaker 1: golden I have so many friends, I mean, and we
Speaker 1: love it, we love it, we live for it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So these bottlenose dolphins have the longest memory of an
Speaker 1: animal other than humans. That's been verified by science. Now,
Speaker 1: that does not mean that other animals do not have
Speaker 1: longer memories. We just don't. We haven't recorded it in
Speaker 1: a lab environment, in an experiment. So at the very least,
Speaker 1: there is an animal out there that can at least
Speaker 1: remember their buddies for twenty years. And I think that's
Speaker 1: pretty impressive. I think that's pretty honestly, didn't even know
Speaker 1: that dolphins lived that long. Yeah, forty years. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: sure probably longer when the conditions are right. Sure. Wow.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I thought that they lived about
Speaker 1: as long as like a dog would. I mean, I
Speaker 1: couldn't see them as being sort of the puppies of
Speaker 1: the ocean. I guess maybe I just don't think of
Speaker 1: dolphins as ever. I've never looked at a dolphin, have
Speaker 1: been like that. Dolphin looks old. They do. They do
Speaker 1: have very good skin. They don't really get that the
Speaker 1: you know, those fine lines and wrinkles. They just are
Speaker 1: bathed in retinal every night. I should be taken nuts,
Speaker 1: We should be taken well, but I'm not satisfied with
Speaker 1: just elephants and dolphins. Let's look at some animals who
Speaker 1: can actually hold a grudge, because I think that's important.
Speaker 1: Dolphins have the the friendly Kringle time spirit of remembering
Speaker 1: their friends, which is good. We do need that in
Speaker 1: our Santa. But we also need our Santa to be
Speaker 1: able to hold a grudge to punish the naughty. Yes,
Speaker 1: so let's look at ravens and crows. Now, these are
Speaker 1: some of my favorite birds. As people may know listening
Speaker 1: to the podcast. They and you may also remember from
Speaker 1: previous episodes that crows are able to remember bad people
Speaker 1: and they will hold a grudge. I did not know that.
Speaker 1: So there's a study of crows at the University of
Speaker 1: Washington where researchers banded crows to study them. That's when
Speaker 1: they put those fun little plastic bracelets on their legs.
Speaker 1: But they would wear these masks because they knew that
Speaker 1: they can remember faces, and they will harass researchers when
Speaker 1: they're mad at them. And then they just for the
Speaker 1: point of curiosity, they saw how long it would take
Speaker 1: for them to forget the masks and the answers they
Speaker 1: don't didn't really let it slide. They never forgot, I
Speaker 1: mean they don't. I wouldn't say they never forgot, but
Speaker 1: they didn't when the researchers tried it again. So they
Speaker 1: remember the masks for years, and and they would attack
Speaker 1: and scold the mask wearing researchers. And when a crow
Speaker 1: scold you, it sounds like bro stop it. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so they're like vengeful little Yeah. I like that though.
Speaker 1: I mean I would be mad if you were being
Speaker 1: repeatedly tagged the bracelet on me. Yeah, it makes I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's a rational outrage. I'm just hacking and plastic,
Speaker 1: you know. It's I'm the problem for being shocked that
Speaker 1: they can do that. Of course they can. And in fact,
Speaker 1: and this is I think a new fact for listeners
Speaker 1: to the show, which is that they can pass on
Speaker 1: their grudge to their crow children. So in three years time,
Speaker 1: the grudge bearing crow population grew from of crows being
Speaker 1: mad at the researchers to six of the crows being
Speaker 1: mad at the researchers. So they were teaching each other
Speaker 1: to hold this grudge, which I think is I think
Speaker 1: that's amazing. I think it's really good. I think we
Speaker 1: can all learn a lesson from that and then and
Speaker 1: no one was letting it go. It wasn't like a
Speaker 1: group pass or the crows didn't grow passive over time.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I haven't seen research that indicates that.
Speaker 1: I'm sure if you had long enough, maybe they would.
Speaker 1: But I struggled to hold a grudge because I had
Speaker 1: of years. I was like, I get bored of fudges.
Speaker 1: I pulled that out of my butt. But I was
Speaker 1: thinking how long it would take me to get over
Speaker 1: a grudge, and maybe thousands of years would do it
Speaker 1: for me. I can hold a grudge for like to
Speaker 1: two years, unless it's like the worst thing every two years.
Speaker 1: That's very that's very sweet of you. My thing is
Speaker 1: like I very rarely have a grudge like I In fact,
Speaker 1: like very few behaviors will would ever qualify as a
Speaker 1: grudge behavior for me. It's like instant forgiveness for most things.
Speaker 1: But like, if you ever do cross me, like in
Speaker 1: a meaningful way, in a meaningful way, that's thousands of years, thousands, thousands, millions.
Speaker 1: The movie The Grudge is about a grudge you helped, Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: that was me. That was my that was my What
Speaker 1: is the monster in the grudge is it like a
Speaker 1: little boy is a little boy with pale skin? And
Speaker 1: I always confuse the grudge in the ring. I was
Speaker 1: thinking of that ring. The ring is the little girl
Speaker 1: with the hail skin climbing out of the TV. Yes,
Speaker 1: I will climb out of a TV and and you know,
Speaker 1: come for you and give you a stern talking to.
Speaker 1: It would be a pleasure. Yeah, I mean, I'll be like, hey, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: I have a grudge against you because that time you know,
Speaker 1: that time you stole my some flower seeds. I don't
Speaker 1: actually not, I can't even think of one. Really, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I have a grudge. I just it's
Speaker 1: like I think I would imagine if I did ever
Speaker 1: have one, it would last an awfully long time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a different person a person. Yeah, maybe you'd have
Speaker 1: to intentionally stub my toe because I am very angry
Speaker 1: at corners. Yeah, I mean the corner community and you.
Speaker 1: It's been a standoff for years. It's a real problem.
Speaker 1: It's the it's I get very mad and upset. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So let's uh. If you're wondering whether Ravens also hold grudges,
Speaker 1: they do. They do so A new paper in animal
Speaker 1: behavior reveals that ravens can remember who's been naughty and
Speaker 1: who's been nice to them. So ravens who were raised
Speaker 1: by humans were presented with a deal, and they would
Speaker 1: exchange a piece of bread, which is boring, I guess
Speaker 1: to the ravens, for a piece of cheese, which is
Speaker 1: really exciting and great. I feel the exact same way.
Speaker 1: I do think it's unfair this experiment, because to me,
Speaker 1: bread and cheese together is even better than one or
Speaker 1: the other. But you know, research isn't about research, isn't
Speaker 1: about hospitality, that's not about them enjoying the best possible meal. Exactly.
Speaker 1: They created the system where you turn in your bread,
Speaker 1: you get a cheese, but some researchers, you know, holes
Speaker 1: as they are, instead of exchanging the bread for the cheese,
Speaker 1: they would take the bread and then they would eat
Speaker 1: the cheese themselves. Oh yeah, rude, that's okay, And and
Speaker 1: the ravens would not forget. Yeah, these cheese thieves. The
Speaker 1: ravens learned to avoid the unfair researches, and they would
Speaker 1: remember their faces and they're like, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you're you stole my cheese. I remember you didn't make
Speaker 1: me forget, So I mean I would remember some stole
Speaker 1: my cheese. Maybe that's grudu worthy for me. Well that's great.
Speaker 1: That is gruduatethys right in front of your face, right,
Speaker 1: especially if I pay for it with some bread. I
Speaker 1: hand you a loaf of bread or sorry, not a
Speaker 1: whole loaf unless it's really good cheese, like a slice
Speaker 1: of bread out of my bread wallet, and I expect
Speaker 1: a cheese in return, and you eat it in front
Speaker 1: of me. I'm not gonna lit that slide. Unbelievable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm impressed. And I like that the animals that can
Speaker 1: hold grudges look like the animals who can hold grudges. Yes,
Speaker 1: the crow and raven look is very they have a
Speaker 1: sinister reputation. Yeah, i'd say it's an austere les. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think it's out of the question that.
Speaker 1: I mean, well, we know that you can get them
Speaker 1: on your side. Yes, let's just treat them. Treat them.
Speaker 1: They aren't unfair, they are very fair. It is we
Speaker 1: who must watch ourselves. So I think that's actually I
Speaker 1: think that's a really good addition to the to the
Speaker 1: Should we call call him a hydro a crotal crotal.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great. Yeah, okay, that drips off the tongue
Speaker 1: like ambrosia. It really does. It's delicious, it's tasty. That's
Speaker 1: a tasty word. Every hydats a crotal clause clause crotal
Speaker 1: crotal is a good word to it's a crotal morning
Speaker 1: that love manner. Humans have really good memories, even if
Speaker 1: it feels like you forget where your keys are. The
Speaker 1: fact you can remember things for many decades make you
Speaker 1: one of the best remembers in the animal kingdom. But
Speaker 1: some humans are particularly extraordinary when it comes to memory.
Speaker 1: Most of us don't remember every minute of our lives,
Speaker 1: but people with highly superior autobiographical memory or h s
Speaker 1: a M can remember almost every moment of their lives,
Speaker 1: and sometimes excruciating detail. They're able to recall accurately almost
Speaker 1: every day. Can you remember what you did on say,
Speaker 1: June second, eighteen, I mean, I know what I was doing,
Speaker 1: probably looking at gross pictures of endo parasites, as I
Speaker 1: do every day. But generally speaking, it's very difficult to
Speaker 1: remember a specific given day unless it has some sort
Speaker 1: of significance. But when tested in laboratory conditions. People who
Speaker 1: claim to have highly superior autobiographical memory really can recall
Speaker 1: specific details of randomly chosen days, which are double checked
Speaker 1: by researchers using external records. One person with h S
Speaker 1: a M described her memory as a library of VHS
Speaker 1: tapes that she could browse through. One theory is that
Speaker 1: people with h S a M have more brain activity
Speaker 1: associated with fantasizing, meaning they'll replay events of each day
Speaker 1: over and over until it's committed to memory. People with
Speaker 1: h S a M often describe it both as a
Speaker 1: blessing and a curse. Just like most memory is recalling
Speaker 1: good memories in our life as a treasure, but having
Speaker 1: to remember upsetting memories over and over again. That embarrassing
Speaker 1: time in fourth grade when a bug went up your
Speaker 1: nose and you sneezed it all over your desk and
Speaker 1: everyone saw you do it. That would be terrible if,
Speaker 1: hypothetically someone couldn't forget that. Yeah, when we return, we'll
Speaker 1: give our biological mutants Santa his characteristic big belly and laugh.
Speaker 1: How did Santa come to be the white bearded, red coated,
Speaker 1: big bellied man we know and fear? Older images of
Speaker 1: Santa depict him without his jolly trademarked belly. The original Santa,
Speaker 1: historically speaking, was St. Nicholas or sintor Cloths, an ancient
Speaker 1: Christian bishop who lived in what is now Turkey from
Speaker 1: two hundred seventy to three forty three, who legends have
Speaker 1: it was kind to children and would give them praisens.
Speaker 1: He had that long white beard in a winter coat,
Speaker 1: but he wasn't ever depicted as being red cheeked and round.
Speaker 1: This depiction came about in eighteen ninety when American illustrator
Speaker 1: Tom Snast published a book of drawings called Thomas Nests
Speaker 1: Christmas Drawings for the Human Race. Santa was drawn with
Speaker 1: a white beard, red coat and hat, and a big
Speaker 1: old belly. That image cemented itself into modern Western culture,
Speaker 1: and the ever evolving beauty standards for Santa's for now
Speaker 1: is based on this particular image. It's a very rigid aesthetic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that in many ways Santa has participated in
Speaker 1: the female experience by having such an absolutely rigid look.
Speaker 1: I mean, you go on Santa Grim and you see,
Speaker 1: like every Santa looks the same same thing, and I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they have the beard they don't have any pores and
Speaker 1: they have the perfect roundness, and I think it's unfair
Speaker 1: to like, it's not even and it's not the Santa's fault.
Speaker 1: It's it's the system that insists that they all look
Speaker 1: this way and if any Santa strays from the norm,
Speaker 1: it's so brave and it's like, no, that Santa is
Speaker 1: just doing them. I just it's very frustrated, hard to know.
Speaker 1: It's frustrating to be a Santa of like the non
Speaker 1: sort of conforming Santa and having to be a statement
Speaker 1: rather than you just being you Like, it's just it's
Speaker 1: it's the Santa is doing the same job with equal efficiency.
Speaker 1: Like if you get a gift from a Santa who
Speaker 1: doesn't have a white beard, are you going to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't like this gift because because that's it is.
Speaker 1: It's not okay a young Santa. Give me a young
Speaker 1: differently shaped Santa. We had a young pope, but we
Speaker 1: need a young Santa, young Santa, fox young Santa. But
Speaker 1: that's going to be quacked out for sure, Hallmark, are
Speaker 1: you listening, um, So let's give let's give our hydro
Speaker 1: crotal cradle. What my high ability to say it is
Speaker 1: rapidly to hydrot crotal clause. Yes, let mean I can
Speaker 1: write it for a stand here hydro cats crowd so clause. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it big fonts so we can read
Speaker 1: it really good. There we go, hydro clause, there we go. Whoa,
Speaker 1: that's a lot of consonants. All right, the more consonants
Speaker 1: the marriers. What I say, So there's that Christmas spirit.
Speaker 1: What do you what animal do you think has the
Speaker 1: highest body fat percentage in the world. Oh, I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm going to give a basic, boring answer. I
Speaker 1: guess like hippos or although they're very strong, that's not true.
Speaker 1: Hippo's is a good guest because they seem they look
Speaker 1: like it. I'm not about to be here and say, hey, gotcha.
Speaker 1: They look bulky. But guess what. It's a lot of muscle.
Speaker 1: But it's actually a lot of skin, thick, thickle skin.
Speaker 1: So so yeah, hip they don't have a lot of
Speaker 1: high body fat percentage. Most of their thick body comes
Speaker 1: from muscle and that thick armor like skin. So eighteen
Speaker 1: percent of their body weight is that thick skin. They're
Speaker 1: eight skin skin that is wild and their skin also
Speaker 1: produces its own sunscreen. It's like this pinkish fluid that
Speaker 1: yeah they make. They're just like self produced their own
Speaker 1: little goop. Yeah they're they're hippo goo wow. Yeah wow.
Speaker 1: That's that's good for them. Yeah, exactly, thrill for them.
Speaker 1: I was quick to judge, and I regret it. We
Speaker 1: could give we could give our our hydridts of crotal
Speaker 1: claws some hippo skin instead of the red coat, could
Speaker 1: be Hippo's not gonna be red. It's going to be
Speaker 1: sort of pink, I guess with the sunscreen. But as
Speaker 1: we said, we have to challenge this stem and Santa's
Speaker 1: of the past have not had wings. Also, hello, a
Speaker 1: lot of sun exposure lying around the world. Yes, exactly,
Speaker 1: so if you and and it would be again I
Speaker 1: mean not to come down too hard in the industry,
Speaker 1: but if you saw the profit releases from the last
Speaker 1: quarter of Santa's workshop, they could afford to cut some
Speaker 1: corners and uh, you know, saving on slay as we've
Speaker 1: already resolved that, and saving on sunscreen. Like there there's
Speaker 1: a lot being done here with this design. I do
Speaker 1: think it's going to be a big cost to feed
Speaker 1: and house the Santa though, Oh well, what what do
Speaker 1: you have to be eating like a lot to keep
Speaker 1: this good? But that's kind of his I feel like
Speaker 1: that's kind of in the budget, right, Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1: We already had a pretty massive cookie budget and that
Speaker 1: is just one unshed. We'll have to replace the cookies
Speaker 1: with sort of seat feed or mice. Yeah, with meat, Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: so we'll swap out the cookies with meat. Yeah, easy done.
Speaker 1: So maybe we shouldn't give them such a big billy,
Speaker 1: but you know, we've got to be true. We've got
Speaker 1: to be true to the Santa grams. I know it's upset,
Speaker 1: but it's like, if Santa's not driving on social media,
Speaker 1: then like what we need that social media content exactly,
Speaker 1: or or he'll become irrelevant exactly. You're gonna tell me
Speaker 1: that have Santa Delita's TikTok accountant? Yeah, coronal clause on
Speaker 1: TikTok has got to be big. It's got to be big.
Speaker 1: And it's gonna take a while to type that in.
Speaker 1: So it's gotta be big. We have to make it
Speaker 1: worth the training. So actually, actually, Jamie, I'm going to
Speaker 1: ambush you with facts. Okay, So the blue whale has
Speaker 1: the highest body fat percentage of thirty of their body weight,
Speaker 1: which is a lot because they are very large, and
Speaker 1: this helps them float and to maintain body heat in
Speaker 1: cold water. So it's it's you know, also known as
Speaker 1: blubberd's very yeah, very useful and elephant. Seal puppies can
Speaker 1: reach a body fat percentage of fift in there so cute.
Speaker 1: If you've seen them that they look like little abloribals.
Speaker 1: I don't know how else to describe them. But but
Speaker 1: but but that is the word to describe what can
Speaker 1: I see? Yes, sew yes, so sausage pet just just
Speaker 1: very like the best pillow you know. Oh, look at
Speaker 1: that Kate Bosworth's seal with the blue eye and the
Speaker 1: brown love to see it. It's a good look. It
Speaker 1: is a good look. I think the the sort of
Speaker 1: chunka tud is very good. Oh yeah, I mean you've
Speaker 1: gotta have the chrunka tude if it's not high. What's
Speaker 1: the right now? The reason the seal puppies have such
Speaker 1: a high body fat percentages they're drinking this really rich
Speaker 1: milk from their mothers that really gets them up and
Speaker 1: that's very important for their survival, to insulate them in,
Speaker 1: to give them fuel. Who loves milk, Katie, Santa Claw.
Speaker 1: It all comes together, and we did replace the cookies
Speaker 1: with meat, but the milk stain dunks. His little feet
Speaker 1: are mice in the milk. Exactly beautiful holiday card imagery.
Speaker 1: We're talking about another another animal that looks like they're
Speaker 1: they have a high body fat percentage, but it's actually
Speaker 1: mostly moscle is walrus is they're only fat and they're
Speaker 1: moscle mossel, muscle muscle. Okay, so I'm trying to do
Speaker 1: you know the Schwarzenegger Yeah, mossel. There, we got these
Speaker 1: fixed sea creatures out there. I like it. I mean
Speaker 1: it kind of makes sense because they have to float
Speaker 1: and they have to be able to fend off the
Speaker 1: coldness of the water and defensive. It's probably also defensive
Speaker 1: to I mean, I mean, I know walruses have to
Speaker 1: survive walrus male rival males can do I think I
Speaker 1: blocked that out. Yeah about that there. There there's some
Speaker 1: violent I like when goofy looking animals have a violent culture,
Speaker 1: You're just like, oh, okay, you know what defy defined expectations,
Speaker 1: like like chipmunks, they are they they'll kick each other
Speaker 1: when they're doing their winter storage. They'll steal from each
Speaker 1: other and sometimes like fight in in kate each other.
Speaker 1: Can can't tell you something, sure, I hate chipmunks really,
Speaker 1: I Well, it's because of a childhood trauma. Can share. Yes, Um,
Speaker 1: So we used to go on vacation in this like
Speaker 1: we go to New Hampshire, um, like for one week
Speaker 1: out of the summer, and we would be kind of
Speaker 1: near the lake, but you would have to like walk
Speaker 1: down from the house to the lake. And on one occasion,
Speaker 1: I think I was three or four years old, I
Speaker 1: was like running down to the lake and I there
Speaker 1: was a chipmunk that crossed my path and he stopped.
Speaker 1: He looked at me, and I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: it's a chipmunk. And then it looked like he was
Speaker 1: just going to run away, but dead he or she
Speaker 1: panicked and went at me and bit me and I
Speaker 1: little chipmunk by and it was so cute. But you
Speaker 1: get chipmunk powers. I didn't. It wasn't even radioactive, so
Speaker 1: what was it was just pointless? Yeah, I would have
Speaker 1: loved to become a radioactive chipmunk. But I've always I
Speaker 1: always like, even now, you have that little react. You're
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, who do they think they are? Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you want to get mobbed by aggressive chipmunks, you
Speaker 1: can go to Angels Landing in Zion National Park. I
Speaker 1: was there. I got swarmed by chipmunks because I was
Speaker 1: too much of a weenie to go on the final
Speaker 1: The Angels Landing hike is actually quite scary because you
Speaker 1: have to it's very sheer. It's not super dangerous. Now,
Speaker 1: I mean people have died doing it. It's pretty rare.
Speaker 1: It's not dangerous, right, I mean people have died on stairs,
Speaker 1: but who have died in in lifts? Yeah, exactly. Well,
Speaker 1: yeah they're sorry. We were just talking about that, I guess,
Speaker 1: but yeah, exactly. So like being you know, hundreds of
Speaker 1: feet off the ground and like fall you know, in
Speaker 1: a very narrow pathway big mountain at a big peak,
Speaker 1: Yeah that's not that's not so bad. But yeah I
Speaker 1: didn't do it because I was being very slow and
Speaker 1: it's also very crowded. There's a big line of people,
Speaker 1: and as I was being slow and I got like
Speaker 1: like a little bit of the fear, and so I
Speaker 1: turned around and then the chipmunks just kind of swarmed me.
Speaker 1: And made fun of me for my cowardice, which was great.
Speaker 1: They're like that, Yeah, they're petty, little take advantage of weakness,
Speaker 1: my psyche chip wrecked telling you that much. Did you
Speaker 1: see that Chipwrecked? It was one of the the one
Speaker 1: of the squeakles or pre squeakles. It was believe it
Speaker 1: wasn't a pre squeak It was a squeak wal it
Speaker 1: was a squeak. Well, it's hard because it's you know,
Speaker 1: the Alvin and the Chipmunks extended universe is very dense, right,
Speaker 1: and but ill leave. It was the second squeak ol
Speaker 1: third movie in the Holy Trilogy. Yeah, I mean speaking
Speaker 1: of singing chipmunks, this is a segue into howler monkeys. Right,
Speaker 1: So we gotta give our hydro cats a crotal clause,
Speaker 1: a really good, big old laugh, right, we got it.
Speaker 1: That's like the Santa thing. If it doesn't boom, there's
Speaker 1: no room. There's no room for the Santa Santa. There's
Speaker 1: no more Yeah, no more room, Get out, get out,
Speaker 1: good good thing. So the Howler monkey. The Howler monkey
Speaker 1: is one of the largest New World monkeys. It lives
Speaker 1: in South and Central American rainforests. To give you us
Speaker 1: into their size. They're about a couple of feet long,
Speaker 1: not including their tails, and their tails can actually be
Speaker 1: five times longer than their bodies, so really big old tails.
Speaker 1: And exactly, and these are functional fashion because they are
Speaker 1: prehens style and they can use them to pick berries,
Speaker 1: well not well maybe berries, but pick fruits and nuts
Speaker 1: from trees. And depending on their species, they can range
Speaker 1: in color from black to red to goldish brown. I
Speaker 1: think red is sort of the more the most usual color.
Speaker 1: And as their name suggests, they are capable of very
Speaker 1: loud calls to communicate with each other over long distances.
Speaker 1: So I think, yeah, so females and males both call,
Speaker 1: but males have the really loud call. I mean might
Speaker 1: right'll just yap yap yap, and I mean yeah. It
Speaker 1: is a good stereotype that men don't shut the quack up. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: self censured and I'm proud of myself. Very good. Yes,
Speaker 1: So males have a specialized hioid bone, hioid bone. It's
Speaker 1: hard for me to say hioid bone a bone that
Speaker 1: we also have. So if you feel up your neck,
Speaker 1: there's little this guy like a fan, like you're in
Speaker 1: front of a fan boys, Luke, I am your father.
Speaker 1: Another classic trilogy, not as good as The Squeak Wolves. Right,
Speaker 1: thanks for derailing me with Star Wars. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I don't know a damn thing about out there anything today.
Speaker 1: I was thinking it would be funny if Luke kind
Speaker 1: of brother named Mike, and then we just learned about
Speaker 1: him in the last twenty minutes of build up a
Speaker 1: whole trilogy, like the Skywalker. Like that, Mike skyt it
Speaker 1: actually rings better than Luke Skywalker. Yeah, and he sounds
Speaker 1: more man of the people than Luke Skywalker. Mike is
Speaker 1: a there's no problem blue potato farmer in space Iowa. Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you watch the director's director's cut of the first
Speaker 1: movie or what is the first, is the fourth or
Speaker 1: whatever the oldest one, Yes, you can see Luke sky
Speaker 1: eye Walker says uncle aunt Mikey Mikey on his space Bikey.
Speaker 1: It's implied that Mike dies, and then we learned forty
Speaker 1: years later he actually didn't. He was actually protected by
Speaker 1: the photon blasts by his blue space potatoes. But exactly, yes,
Speaker 1: were it's served as a shield And that's a metaphor
Speaker 1: for something. Were we talking about howler monkeys where we were,
Speaker 1: all right, So let's talk about this highoid phone again.
Speaker 1: I can't. It's funny. It's a funny word to me.
Speaker 1: So the male howler monkeys that high highoid bone is
Speaker 1: it's actually filled with air and it acts as a
Speaker 1: resonance chamber to make their voices louder. And they also
Speaker 1: have like really big throats, and they just basically are
Speaker 1: an instrument, an animal instrument, and they may be the
Speaker 1: loudest land animal. Their howls can be heard from at
Speaker 1: least three miles away, and the purpose of these hows
Speaker 1: is mostly territorial, as a warning to say, hey, we're
Speaker 1: over here, you guys, like pick another place because we
Speaker 1: don't want to fight. Like they don't necessarily want to,
Speaker 1: so they're just like hey, hey, hey, like yeah exactly,
Speaker 1: got it. Yeah. It's like when you sort of pass
Speaker 1: of aggressively put the umbrella up when you go to
Speaker 1: the beach. You're like, yeah, this is my family. Try
Speaker 1: you could try. It's not going to go well, it's
Speaker 1: not going to go well, got it? So they can
Speaker 1: sometimes how in a whole chorus, and I want to
Speaker 1: give you good sense of since this is going to
Speaker 1: be our our Santa's new new pipes. Yeah that's a monkey, Yeah,
Speaker 1: abolutely not. You want Santa clause sorry, hydrocates a croto
Speaker 1: clause to sound like that. It's got to travel, he's
Speaker 1: got to project and the monkeys are Howler monkeys are
Speaker 1: the best at projection, project projecting their their beautiful voices over, Like,
Speaker 1: how else are you going to? Santa is gonna be
Speaker 1: high in the sky. You gotta here is trademark, ho
Speaker 1: ho ho, And I don't know. You're gonna have to
Speaker 1: be a little less picky. It's gonna sound a little
Speaker 1: bit like, oh, that's a monster friendly. Christmas is full
Speaker 1: of Kringle. No, no, it's full of Kringle spirit. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're right, I need to I need to relax. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to relaxe. You're being a little bit grunch.
Speaker 1: I was activate. I have like a fighter flight sand
Speaker 1: in your clumb pudding, I do, and you gotta scoop
Speaker 1: it out. I think it's okay, So you know that
Speaker 1: that is I think we'll have to give Santa the
Speaker 1: highoid bone of a Howler monkey. But maybe you're right,
Speaker 1: maybe that's not jovial enough. So let's look at some
Speaker 1: more jovial animals. Okay, well I looked into which animals laugh,
Speaker 1: which I think is important. So we know that, as
Speaker 1: we've talked about on the show before, rats will giggle
Speaker 1: and they do an ultrasonic chirping in response to being tickled.
Speaker 1: Now we're talking, but we can't use that because it's
Speaker 1: got to be able to be something we can hear,
Speaker 1: and we can't hear the ultrasonic titters of rats being tickled.
Speaker 1: As cute as that is, apes actually laugh. So Bnobo's gorillas, chimpanzees,
Speaker 1: and orangutans they laugh. Do they laugh cute or did
Speaker 1: they Well, let's start off with the bad news. Let's
Speaker 1: start off. Let's start off with the bad news. So
Speaker 1: here's a gorilla getting tickled on his foot. This is
Speaker 1: by cell Press. Will include a link to it in
Speaker 1: the in the notes. That's kind of a that's a
Speaker 1: kind of low chuckle. That's fun. I like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it sounds like they're they're, you know, not not making
Speaker 1: a show of it, right. That's my favorite kind of
Speaker 1: laughers that my shows, the ones that kind of go like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like when people make it when you when
Speaker 1: you look out into that ground and you hear that
Speaker 1: low rumbling right and you say, hey, you sound like
Speaker 1: a cilla getting tickled on the foot. And then and
Speaker 1: then they just keep laughing. They just keeping That's why
Speaker 1: I do it. Let's do here's a here's a I
Speaker 1: think this one is legitimately cute. This is a chimp
Speaker 1: laughing caught on camera by the BBC. So here, let
Speaker 1: me get a good This is adorable. This is adorable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love I want this one. I vote this one
Speaker 1: all right? Yeah, cude, he's like he sounds like he
Speaker 1: just got away with something. Yes, yes, yes, so sort
Speaker 1: of a snickering, snickering Santa. Yeah, like that little cheeky snicker.
Speaker 1: I think a little a little snicker would fit the
Speaker 1: physical profile of this Santa too, please, sort of a
Speaker 1: booming can you have a loud snicker? Yes? I mean
Speaker 1: if we if we added the Howler surround sound system
Speaker 1: on it, you could really make that thing boom and
Speaker 1: you would have to switch up the merch a little
Speaker 1: no more ho ho ho he. And it's like when yeah, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know is the he is that you text
Speaker 1: someone when you're flirting. I always get confused of like
Speaker 1: which I'm not. I've texted it to my mom. I
Speaker 1: know I have to, but I'm pretty sure that that's
Speaker 1: the flirtaous. I think canonically that's the flirtatous. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. One hair is very matter of fact. It's
Speaker 1: a little bit creepy to see written out, even though
Speaker 1: I do it all the time. Could we add in
Speaker 1: an extra e to make it a little better? But
Speaker 1: he he he, I think Santa could benefit from a
Speaker 1: he he heat about a h h hey, oh I would.
Speaker 1: I don't know how. I thought that would be high
Speaker 1: high high right? Hi? What is that? What if you
Speaker 1: is at a high high high. It's kind of it's
Speaker 1: almost like a fat Albert head right right? Hi hi
Speaker 1: hi hi Hi Hi yeah hi hi high it's Christmas?
Speaker 1: Hi hi hi? I like that? Yeah, just to too
Speaker 1: quick honorable mentions. Dolphins whistle whild play fighting, and dogs
Speaker 1: laugh by panting in a specific way. And when other
Speaker 1: dogs hear this panting laugh, they become playful as well.
Speaker 1: And I know my dog does will probably know what
Speaker 1: this is. It's sort of like what they go like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not it's not panting like that's sort
Speaker 1: of like I I just ran around and yeah, but
Speaker 1: and it's sort of like it's it's playful. It's like
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, my dog, my dog does that, but
Speaker 1: it inappropriate and inappropriate ha ha. He's well, he's red pilt,
Speaker 1: so he he does he does that when very tragic
Speaker 1: things happen come on getting together. It's not he's going
Speaker 1: to be on the naughty list. It's oh, he's screwed.
Speaker 1: He's absolutely screwed. Yeah. So I think we've made a
Speaker 1: pretty good good news Santa, right, yeah, yeah, And do
Speaker 1: you like you like the hydrocts a crotal clause? I
Speaker 1: think is yes, hydrock. How are we How are we
Speaker 1: adding in? Are we adding anything? I think if we try,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's clearly the DNA of all these animals,
Speaker 1: but if we add in more syllables to the name,
Speaker 1: it's going to break under its own weight. So we can't.
Speaker 1: We can't. They the Z is sort of a load
Speaker 1: bearing letter, and we can't fuss with the physics anymore
Speaker 1: else that word is just going crumble like a ground
Speaker 1: cracker and too much milk. That's fair, that's fair, that's fair,
Speaker 1: and a beautiful metaphor to this. So I have prepared
Speaker 1: a song. Oh okay, this is sung to the tune
Speaker 1: of Jolly old St. Nicholas, whom we are is shoeing
Speaker 1: into for our better Santa, or biologically accurate Santa. So
Speaker 1: I have prepared lyrics, Jamie, you've never seen these, So
Speaker 1: this is going to be I'm going to try, and
Speaker 1: I'm going to put an instrumental track under this, and
Speaker 1: we're going to give it a shot. And this is
Speaker 1: the revised each your Kringle Time song with our new
Speaker 1: how what would you describe hydrock kids a crotal clause
Speaker 1: as our holiday, our father holiday. Well you said we
Speaker 1: couldn't use the word monster, No we can't be Okay,
Speaker 1: then I'm really going to be struggling. I our holiday
Speaker 1: mascot mascot. Yea all knowing, all occasionally vengeful mascot. Yes,
Speaker 1: yes mascot. So here here it is to the tune
Speaker 1: of the worst song Jolie. Hydroids a croton clause, with
Speaker 1: your giant neck and wings and your hydra DNA. Here's
Speaker 1: what I have today, Creature Kringele times. As soon when
Speaker 1: you will make your flight so massive you blot out
Speaker 1: the moon? What an awful sight? Best as a pare
Speaker 1: green falcon as fast as race cars go, saxopher able
Speaker 1: to hold a grudge as long as an elephant or
Speaker 1: a crow. Oh, hydro cats, a crotal claws tearing through
Speaker 1: the snow, a blue whale, blubber belly and skin of
Speaker 1: a hippo immortal hydro caps, a crotal loss, and a
Speaker 1: tex spread at or very nice girls and boys who
Speaker 1: cower at his sword at least not a monster before?
Speaker 1: Are you not a kid? Don't expect some cold dr
Speaker 1: cats croto clods will gobble you up. Oh that was good.
Speaker 1: That was yeah, that was nice. Well, it was a
Speaker 1: new class. I think it's gonna be top of the
Speaker 1: charts and if it's not, it's gonna be cross hell. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining me today. I'm feeling it.
Speaker 1: Part two is nice. But do you wanna do you
Speaker 1: wanna plug anything? Yeah? You follow me on on Twitter
Speaker 1: at Jamie Loft just help um. And I I'm really
Speaker 1: seeing a new podcasting called My Year in Mens Up,
Speaker 1: so you can listen to that soon. I'm excited for that.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm just waiting for that iTunes approval. Maybe you
Speaker 1: can find us online. Creature feature pod dot com dot com,
Speaker 1: Creature feature pot on Instagram, Creature feet pot on Twitter.
Speaker 1: That's f e a T, not f ET. That's something
Speaker 1: very different and I have been Katie Golden and I
Speaker 1: am also pro birds rights Little Human Friend, so please
Speaker 1: go follow that as well. Thanks to the Space Classics
Speaker 1: for their super festive song Exo Lumina. Creature features a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio's How Stuff Works. For more
Speaker 1: podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the heart Radio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1: See you next Wednesday. Praise Hydro, Praise him. M hm
Speaker 1: hm